Tag: Secrets

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

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If I hear one more bad word… It better be me with a pretty lady, or in an erotica. Maybe the orange douche gets his “ticket punched.” And his Cabinet stars on “The Running Man.” What can I say, I like Stephen King? That’s nice. “Braxton’s Voice A V8”

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? A lot more than some car or healthy drinks. What about Ma or my boys?

Happy Birthday to my Ma. I need to text her or something along those lines today. And as far as my boys? B’s quiet… Still in his box or playing on the Rainbow Bridge… Playing.

Honestly, knowing my firstborn son, he’s gobbling up vittles like an Amsterdam whore sucks dicks. Eww, seriously? Sorry, my love, I shouldn’t be reading Eric Vall on or near Christmas. Not that O. L. Tyme’s “His Christmas Miracle Harem” is helping. And it’s been three days, so I’m hot and horn as all Hell. I should just stay in bed with you. But that’s where Virgil is right now. Little 2-V, “I picture you in the sun, wondering what went wrong.” Am I talking to you or him? Don’t know…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And it’s like I’m not even speaking at all. To sing yet another song, I think I used to have a voice. Now I never make a sound.” If you’re keeping score, that’s “Every Day Is Exactly the Same” by NIN and Joseph Arthur’s “In The Sun.” It’s what I wish I could say… Well.

Sunday, August 24, 2025. Spill it out like “And I love you, I love you, I love you. Like never before.” But I’m no “Songbird.” And I’m definitely not Naya Rivera, may she rest in peace. See, I’m a lot nicer than the orange turd, MAGA’s leader, head Cracker Hat.

Always and forever FDT! And the naughty things I would like to do with Naya, 2-B, M Anime, and you…

I should shut the eff up. And as effed up as it seems, I wish I could go back to those days when Braxton first passed away. The silence when I didn’t give a damn about anything or anyone. The things I shouldn’t tell you. So I should be eating. Or on my knees… Prayer.

Nope. Even if you were Kesha, I’m not “Praying.” More like eating. Such a pervert.

Seriously, love, everything is too loud. Especially the voices in my head. And am I still thinking about some STUPID mobile game? Whiteout Survival? Then again, I’m still playing it. And there are so many things I should be doing. I “Can’t Keep Loving You (From A Distance). Love Is Louder! Braxton’s Voice A V8

1780 Days Without B III, Day 1221 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 166 ~Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil~”

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A southern man, don’t need him around anyhow. By him, I mean the orange turd in the White House. In other news, it’s cold. Neither B, V, nor I asked for this. But I should get ready for it. I almost tripped like Harkness… “Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil.”

Sunday, December 14, 2025

Journey 166 ~Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil~”

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And have the icicles melted yet from Virgil’s walk? “Whiteout Survival.” Oh my mistake, only gray hairs.

If there is going to be hair on your face or both of your heads, you’d rather be… Um, eww! It’s nearly 11:00, and you’re already thinking about getting busy? Or are you trying to warm up? You finished another erotica and have been on the battlefield with Whiteout Survival. And where’s Braxton in all this crisis, that being your life? “This Is Your Life.”

“Where Christ is in all this crisis?”
He Got Game

“This is your life, and today is all you’ve got now
And, and today is all you’ll ever have.”
Switchfoot

May Braxton have mercy on your soul, because you and God… Well whatever. B’s gone. And Virgil’s beside you or behind you. Whatever keeps the wind chill off, I mean.

Honestly, you were two seconds from being Harkness from The Long Walk. Not that you have anywhere to go this week. You have more time for these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Snowed In With Grumpy, Silver…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

There’ll be a lot less Humiliations Galore since you could stay in bed all week if you so choose. And you’ll have my paycheck to fall back on. However, Christmas memories…

You’re already thinking about “descendant,” replacement, and your victim. Christmas Eve will mark four months after your break-up with M Anime. You won’t have any money because you’re not working this week. Seriously! Your BALLS are on OnlyFans, Braxton’s BOOK is on Amazon, and you’re BUSTING your ass on TikTok. As the song goes, “Where Is My Mind?” Well, my mind went the way of Harkness. Effing dark, right?

Like all Sundays. You’ll learn to hate all days that end in Y. But Sundays hold a special place in Hell. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Very Shortly
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But before you go off jerking it to pixies like The Winx Club, FernGully’s Crysta, Tinkerbell, or any of them Succubus “Fairy Tale.” There are some things you should think about… Other than your boys, your existence is bottoming out, or a bunch of yabbos/boobs. Uh, your Ma’s Birthday? Keep that in mind, yes, for this week. A gift, sigh.

What about another grandbaby? There was a time, not so long ago, when you and M Anime were going to play Tommy and Gina “Livin’ On A Prayer,” having babies. Remember M Anime saying you reminded her of a “Sunday Morning.” However, you’re more Lionel Richie than Maroon 5. “Easy like Sunday morning.” I wish I could have given you one. Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil

1778 Days Without B III, Day 1219 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

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I have plenty to be ashamed of, but never my boys. If anything, I’m not a good enough daddy. I have an “ex-girlfriend” M Anime who would say the same. No money, not enough, and my boys are all that matters. But to V, Never B Ashamed, Virgil

Saturday, December 13, 2025

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Talk about a group of people who have no shame. I “Party Like A Rock Star.”

And I’m effing broke, a bum, and a boy pretending to be a man. I’m the dad of two boys… Always and Forever, Braxton. I don’t have $3000 duckets to my name. Didn’t I mention I’m glad the Termite Guy didn’t find any termites? And didn’t mention the Carpenter Ant invasion this “Cruel Summer?” And then there’s me always thinking with “My Ding-A-Ling. For the record, I can play the Shop Boyz and not Chuck Berry at the Day Job.

Lunalesca, I won’t have to worry about that next week. Don’t worry, I have hours the week after. Although I did return the speaker to the manager and caught her in a meeting with the other leaders… All women, if you haven’t guessed, my friend.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feel free to say, “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.” I’m not a “Jumper” yet. But um, I think about it every morning. B, rock bottom, and then “boy, you’re in so much trouble.” How much remains to be seen? Humiliations Galore! And yet I tell everyone, “I’m here.” I’m reading erotica one minute, naked the next, and then between getting it up and posting on X/Twitter eww! I find the time for some Hamlet:

“To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.”
Hamlet

Which of those should I be ashamed of, Lunalesca? What crimes shall I commit today?

Where will the Magic Glasses take me? Will I “steal” wrestling again? Depends on where Saturday Night’s Main Event is streaming tonight. I know the WWE is in Washington, D.C.

No matter what I do, I’ll never be as bad as MAGA and the Cracker Hats. FDT! I still feel horrible about what I said last night about the local food truck and ICE. But if I do go out today, I won’t go getting my usual Fried Shrimp and Fries. Again, no money, the two guys from last night had no manners, and where is their mother… Is my Ma proud of me, Lu?

Am I proud of myself? Braxton and Virgil, it’s always and forever. Well, 2-V did spit up/vomit in the bedroom yesterday. Anyway, with me, the answer’s not now and never.

But I did get a compliment on my writing. But then I opened my camera. EFF! Never B Ashamed, Virgil

1777 Days Without B III, Day 1218 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

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My sons are gifts, but B is gone. My girl… excuse me, my woman. M Anime was a gift, but she’ll be getting married in January… And as for myself, at present… Well, I feel more depressed than like a rocket scientist. But, “Braxton The Gifted, Virgil”

Tuesday, December 9, 2025

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Christmastime, ha! “Ooh, sugar pie, honey bunch. You know that I love you.”

‘Tis the season? What, you can love, get laid, and even lament on Christmas. Closer?

Honestly, “I Can’t Help Myself.” What, thinking about gifts for you, our two-legged children, and of course, there’s always Virgil and Braxton. I owe Braxton at least fifteen gifts—five birthdays, Christmases, and homecoming or Gotcha Day. I don’t remember when he hopped into the car, but I’ll never forget Sunday, January 31, 2021. Hell, maybe Gotcha Day could be May 1st. I’m sure I met B sometime in April. And how did I get on this when I’m supposed to be talking about the present? Well, my Christmas presents. Anyway, I THINK I want a breastplate like Maximus from “Gladiator.” But with a picture of both Braxton and Virgil.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And as I walked with Virgil this afternoon, I thought that I want a “monitor belt” or a watch from The Long Walk to measure my walking speed. More like my running speed since I’m “The Running Man,” and all. And that leads me to a question. Safe and sound.

When’s the last time I got something silly? Something salty, saucy, and spicy? In other words, delicious. Oh, I go to the food truck once a week. And stories, either in salacious words or on the big screen. And if it doesn’t suck, what about sexy? Well, I have you.

Somehow, someway, I got you. But I’m a selfish, STUPID, SOB… sorry, Ma. I want… Everything! “The World, Chico, And Everything In It.” That’s me.

And yet I call my firstborn, my B, gifted. He treated every day as a gift. He had all the gifts. And to him, I was the greatest gift of all. Do I give myself too much credit, my love?

Two points make a line. Three points make a pattern. Braxton loved/loves me. And I convinced you to do the same. Well, that was more of a choice… Um, Sunday, August 24, 2025. And what about V and our two-legged children? I’m Daddy, always, forever.

But you know what would be a present, what would make me a good person, what would complete a pattern? If I loved myself. “What I Go To School For?” Busted, because I failed. But Braxton? Braxton The Gifted, Virgil1773 Days Without B III, Day 1214 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 159 ~Virgil, and B Days~

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Had a bad day again, and it’s only 11:30 AM. Hell, my bad days begin at midnight, and the best part of the day is usually somewhere between waking up at 2 AM and sleeping until I have to go to the Day Job. Everything else, my boys, Virgil, and B Days

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Journey 159 ~Virgil, and B Days~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you sure? You had a hard time reading this morning. That damn old, ornery, or ogling…

Well, a couple of hours ago, it was this office girl in the book “Shared At The Office” (Ganged for the First Time) by Chantelle Torres. Three guesses what that’s about. Four or five counting yabbos… You ain’t ever gonna change, which is why you’re effed for another week. Hell, at least you get to read before going to the Day Job. Yes, Day Job…

Speaking of having a Day Job, December 7, 1941, “a date which will live in infamy.” You had to say something, right? You ain’t MAGA or a STUPID Cracker Hat. It is what it is?

You hate that saying, but yeah, it’s history unless we’re talking about 1984. Ah, the books I once read. And the goals. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Shared At The Office, Ganged for the… by Chantelle Torres
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As you can guess, Chantelle Torres’ book was not a Christmas Erotica. These B days. Honestly bad, busy, and busting… Eww! And don’t forget bawling my eyes out for my boys. One more day without Braxton. And like father, like son, Virgil and his “Anxiety.”

No, you won’t be playing Doechii at the Day Job. Sorry, I effed that up for you. And of course, you’ll be apologizing next week. But shouldn’t we always start with Braxton? The day he… passed away was a b*tch. And people think that of you. At least there’s people.

Broke with a Day Job, but at least you have it. That’s my big win for you, Mr. No Balls, ha! Augmenting realities, moments not days. Goals? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Snowed In With Grumpy, Silver…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

To be or not to be? That’s not really a question anymore because one more B comes calling, and that’s your belly. What are you doing for dinner tonight? Even now, you wish you could ask M Anime that. She was coming here seriously pre-breakup.

The 16th is Ma’s birthday. 24th is four months without M Anime. Christmas Eve, ouch! Then Christmas, New Year’s, and M is getting married in January, more like F Days.

Holidays and existence in general suck for three reasons: Funds, Family/Friends, and Fun. You have no money, B’s gone, V’s scared, and you’re your Olds bum. And fun… No joy, nothing jostling, presents, playing games, porno/erotica books, or jiggly yabbos.

Someday at Christmas can eff off. Virgil, and B Days

1771 Days Without B III, Day 1212 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 158 ~To B Powerful, Virgil~

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Am I confusing POWER with FREEDOM? Despite how it looks, I don’t have much of them. The lights are on, I can get up if I want, and 2-V is breathing. He’s five. Talk to me when he’s B III’s age. Fifteen. And at my age, To Be Powerful, Virgil

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Journey 158 ~To B Powerful, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if MAGA has taught me anything, it’s that money is POWER. Old white rich guy…

Also, a criminal, con man, who has no business being around children. FDT every day.

Hell, if God… whoever you hold that to be, let me switch places with Johnny Sins. I’ve really been into a particular Asian mom lately… But anyway, I still wouldn’t call it even with God. Because neither it nor I had the POWER to save my B. My Braxton, Lunalesca.

“That is strength, boy! That is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! Such a waste.”
Conan the Barbarian (1982)

“I can’t be. I want to be brave, and I want to be selfless, intelligent, and honest and kind. Well, I’m still working on kind.”
Veronica Roth ― Divergent (2014)

And that is what brings me to you today? Not the two titans that are my boys, Braxton and Virgil? What about some Asian mom’s tits… Eww! I’m feeling particularly raunchy today, or am I just being a perv? A MILF, Alex Chen, Mai Shiranui, Misty Olszewski, and whoever else tickles my peach. Beats sitting in bed all day. POWER.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

The power to walk from the bedroom to the den, Lady Lunalesca. Pathetic. Isn’t it? Lunalesca, if you want me to define it… Record scratch… Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation… Lying in bed playing Whiteout Survival at all hours. Drooling over some woman’s yabbos. Or crying “Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone.” Braxton, Virgil, or both. I’m not picky. As long as I’m not alone, Lunalesca. As long as someone is telling me what to do, making MAGA happy.

Lunalesca, “A MAN chooses, a SLAVE obeys.” Popular, Lunalesca… I want to be Powerful. But where does the power lie? How much time do you have? Isn’t it Ironic, Lu?

Again, two titans, tits/yabbos, time…

I could go into many other things, but it’s those three, like something Jigsaw concocted.

“Live or Die, Make your choice.” Or “Get busy living or get busy dying.” I continue “The Long Walk” with Virgil, or I’m “The Running Man,” looking to find my way to B III. And I have no POWER over that. And M Anime? “Stand by Me,” or more to the point, Lunalesca. Ruben sings “Lay By Me.” That’s the thing, everyone else has POWER.

Seriously, everyone else has the time in their minds. And you remember why I didn’t want to do Amazon. I don’t want to steal time, be STUPID with it, or be SCARED all of the time. Powerful, not to be afraid. To B Powerful, Virgil

1770 Days Without B III, Day 1211 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 154 ~Love B Later, Virgil~

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The things we forget about during the day. Good Night, Good Luck? More like goodbye to the penniless author… I checked. The horny dude? This morning eww! No, I am “The Walking Dead,” and I say goodbye and R.I.P. to me, but… Love B Later, Virgil.

Tuesday, December 2, 2025

Journey 154 ~Love B Later, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I love you. I’ll see you later. But do I ever say goodbye? I’m Irish…

As in an Irish Goodbye. I only say goodbye to one person. You’re looking at him. A “crazy” thought, right? What about a sad one… Or two. I remember saying goodbye to Braxton on his literal deathbed. And I don’t remember saying it at all on Sunday, August 24, 2025. Only Alanah Rae in My Wife’s Hot Friend Vol. 12 Big Boob Edition. My love.

You know me. I’m the effing Sherlock Holmes of Adult Films. And I’m feeling… Gross.

Always in the mood for you, my beloved, but icky. Stress Release? Whatever for love?

Are we getting married again? Are you pregnant? V is “Safe and Sound,” thanks, Taylor.

My love, this is my third business week and possibly my last. Last week was…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Excruciating, emasculating, and freaking effed. Do you remember our wedding day, my love? Ok, you have lots of reasons to be mad at me, but please hear me out. I’ll never be a Christian man, but I do subscribe to that Bible verse, “Love is patient, love is kind,” etc.

Love is not STUPID, honestly, that my love is one of my greatest fears. Being STUPID. Because STUPIDITY kills, it’s what triggers my anxiety. And I love you and our family. I tell Virgil later because one day I may love him, not like Braxton, but with no less love.

“It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.”
The Merovingian, The Matrix Revolutions

“My will is stronger than my heart. Do you think I put so high a price on my feelings? They’ll pass. My will holds me to my course through life,”
Queen Guinevere, First Knight (1995)

Ahh! I understand how Guinevere felt about King Arthur in comparison to Lancelot in First Knight. I don’t love my work, but I say, “later.”

Or I don’t say anything at all. If you can’t say something nice and all that… But who do I say goodbye to? Me. And the thought that came over me today… Besides myself, eww!

Anyway, I thought about the times you had to do it. Again, like Lancelot asking Guinevere to forget who she was. When you covered your face with a veil, you were one woman, and when it was removed, you were my woman, my wife. You can be a monster… and I’m your “Savage,” thank you, Whethan. You’re strong, sexy, smart, and oh so sinful, lover.

However, with that, it takes only the thought of tomorrow, and I say goodbye to myself. Why? I’m Afraid! Always, Forever. Love B Later, Virgil.

1766 Days Without B III, Day 1207 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What did I say last week? And the week before that. And every week since… Hell, I can remember when I lost Braxton, broke up with M Anime, and had the worst day of my life. Because this B just ain’t no good. What will my bosses say? This B And Virgil

Sunday, November 30, 2025

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Because who else would I be talking to? All your bosses are women. M Anime? Uh well…

The only time you’d call her the “B-word” is during sexy time. She wanted to be all sorts of freaky in your bed. Not that you’ll ever know. Hell, even after three months, you’re still trying to figure out whose fault it was for your breakup. Your Brokenness, her wanting Babies, and have you counted Bucks? Can’t be too many of those left. Cowardice, dude!

Your cowardice! Because Braxton wasn’t a b*tch. He was only B. And little Virgil? Blah. Whatever he is, it’s better than you. And what about in three days? Wednesday’s coming.

And not in the hot as Hell sort of way with Jenna Ortega, you perv. Do you remember when that was your biggest concern? Because it’s never Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 6 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But maybe you should be thinking about your future. You mean past this coming Wednesday. Because this B ain’t lying to you. But if it helps, I don’t know anything.

Honestly, I only THINK you’re effed. And much like MAGA and those Cracker Hats, I’m only right when I’m doing something very wrong. But again, what about your bosses, Braxton, and your other little boy? “Bye, Bye, Bye.” I wonder how they would have felt if you played NSYNC at the Day Job? Again, that’s the elephant in the room—the big b*tch, if you will. And I know you like that, Cherry, Momokun, Piper Niven, to name a few.

Seriously, you can name some BBW you want to do, but these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Although last night I did something that I thought was impossible. Well, to you anyway, considering you’re STUPID. Isn’t that a worse word than b*tch? Anyway, last night, I watched WWE Survivor Series: War Games. You know, as Wolverine said, “I’m Canadian,” according to the VPN. Yeah, you’ve used one before. You’re not some genius.

I know I’m not being very helpful. Am I getting you ready for Wednesday? That will be your win for the week. It’s something much better than saying you got to see half-naked women beat the crap out of each other. And what about reading about it… More Neil Bimbeau?

Or do you fall back on tradition with Christmastime Erotica? Just keep a Day Job for “This B And Virgil.”

1764 Days Without B III, Day 1205 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 151 ~Spell WORRY, B, V~

WillLeave a comment

“Analyze this, analyze this, analyze this…” I’m not Madonna, and I’m not good at spelling either. I have spell-check flag me for “analyze” daily. More so if I go into the Day Job on Wednesday and find out I effed up this week, hmm. Spell WORRY, B, V.

Saturday, November 29, 2025

Journey 151 ~Spell WORRY, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I ain’t ashamed to say that with that amount of money I’d host some death games.

“The Long Walk,” “The Running Man…” and, Hell, just being alive like in Stand By Me seem like challenges. And if you’ve kept up, I’ve dragged Braxton and Virgil along.

Only not to my Momma’s house yesterday. Braxton wouldn’t have been welcomed. And Virgil was asked about. But why make him worry about my nephews? I’m too busy worrying about my Olds. Have I grown a heart? No, Braxton broke that when he left, Lu.

And M Anime made sure to grind on the pieces with her work boots after she, too, left me. Lunalesca. What about a spine? Did you hear me babbling, quibbling, and confessing to my boss on Wednesday? Spineless! This leads me to this coming Wednesday. Same sh*t, different day? Maybe…

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

If I still have sh*t, a boss, a Day Job. “Let That Hammer Fall.” Not for The Neville Brothers, but for my sons, my Braxton and Virgil. Still, I was too much of a coward to face Amazon for them. And what would I do for myself? I traded a Panic Attack for “Anxiety,” Luna.

And I expect that it will soon be replaced by Depression. And with that, even more worry, Lunalesca. Because what else am I qualified to do? I’m the whipping boy at the Day Job and make-believe I’m a writer. And I say often enough that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. But that takes a woman. And again, M Anime’s gone. And I wish I were being hunted, Lunalesca. Harem?

Augmented Reality? Artificial Intelligence. There are so many things I should be worried about, Lunalesca. And I wish I could go back to when it was as simple as a spelling test that I knew I was going to fail. I wish I could tell you that I was worried about the backyard fence that fell. Geez! Do you remember when that was the biggest thing, Lunalesca? The coming Winter? Without a Day Job, the cold never bothered me anyway.

I won’t be feeling much of it as long as my Olds are paying for their forty-one-year-old bum of a son. Do they worry? I worry? If only worry and happiness could switch places, Lu. Now ask me to spell, “OK.” Spell WORRY, B, V

1763 Days Without B III, Day 1204 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 147 ~B’s An Option, Virgil~

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There was no option between Braxton and me but to love. Always and forever. Even when he was starving and couldn’t eat a thing, there was always his wanting to “Lay Be Me” like his name was Ruben. I’m “trying” not to join him. “B’s An Option, Virgil”

Tuesday, November 25, 2025

Journey 147 ~B’s An Option, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my Braxton? What about my bed? Whether I have a billion or bucks.

I’ve made my decision. Today was a disaster. And dammit, I’m up. Not like that…

Honestly, I want to go back to sleep… Permanently with everything that has happened today.

Where do I even begin? How did I become HIS father? My firstborn son, Braxton Barks Bradford. How did I become your husband? And how about his and hers? Children?

Again, I return to where our marriage started to show “options.” Sunday, August 24, 2025. Hell, it was before that, Sunday, January 31, 2021. In August, we lost ourselves. In January, I lost HIM… Braxton.

Braxton, my firstborn, “My Sweet Lord,” and my everything until… You. And I made the same promise. Always and forever. Forever and Always. Then there are days like this. “Mama said there’ll be days like…”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

This? My mama wasn’t like “The Man” from Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.” “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” is a movie title and not an idea that drones on and on. Winston Smith, weighing his options and knowing the inevitable conclusion. Like him, all I have to do is “transfer to paper the interminable restless monologue that had been running inside his(my) head, literally for years.” That was never an option for me, either, my “Sweet Love.” Loving my boy, well, boys with Virgil. Our children. You. And since I first wrote my name, the written word. The only option for me has been loving myself.

Somehow, today I find myself hating myself even more than usual. Is that possible? Always.

Why is that, you ask?

Ask yourself why you are still “Dear Future Wife,” and here I am, forty-one, somehow. No, not somehow, the truth of the matter is your husband is C for Coward, D for Deviant, and F for Failure—a and B? Archie, Virgil’s “first” name. Braxton, my Ma named him, ha!

And what about E? Enough? That’s what I’m contemplating right this second because of “Tomorrow.” As Salif Keita sings, I don’t understand it, but it’s going to be sad, love. Braxton always knows about “The Bad Place.” Virgil cries for me. And tomorrow no one will “Stand By Me.” Not for The Long Walk I must endure. I’ll be “The Running Man” for sure. Panic Attacks aren’t optional, Depression, Anxiety, FEAR… B’s An Option, Virgil.

1759 Days Without B III, Day 1200 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will