Tag: Hurt

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

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I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

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Another early morning, another book. Three bucks for a thirty-page book? And how many books have I written about a woman taking her clothes off? What about B’s book? That was out in August, and here I have no Day Job hours or sales. Tao Of B, Virgil.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Which reminds you, go and pick up some soap, have a shave, and forget who she is.

You know, the woman who has you looking up Taoism. Religion on a Sunday morning…

Before the Asian woman, it was “Polly & Her Boss,” because “Lord, Heaven’s above” you finish “Bikini Magic” by Michael Dalton. And Kelli Wolfe’s “Dark Desires” wasn’t available on Amazon this morning. It could be worse—nothing on pet bereavement.

Honestly, “I’m only human after all. Don’t put your blame on me,” or you today. Music and manuscripts, so “Just a day, just an ordinary day.” And you’re saying to yourself, “I’m just an ordinary human.” It’s some people you can’t say that to anymore, and I’m sorry about that. Not to sound psychotic but less people equals more peace. And with this coming week. Depression and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Polly & Her Boss (Collage Girl Erotica) by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Oh, you’re going to need all of the words now, I must say. The song today is all about you.

As in “All About You” song by Jeymes Samuel. As if they’re ever going to let you control the speaker in the stockroom ever again with your playlist… Really, why is this at the forefront of your mind? Music is meant to bring you peace, except with other people, ha.

And that’s your problem. People? You are not one of the people. Even in this place, you were one person before Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then you became a different person—one before Saturday, August 13, 2022, and then another. Before Sunday, August 24, 2025… Now you’re different again.

And now you’re thinking about M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re existence is not natural or harmonious. “I’ve been let down. I’ve been turned around. I’ve been misused and so confused.” And you will be too. Even though you have no hours and all you have is Virgil. Not that you’re blaming him. He’s a good boy, little 2-V. But blocking out the noise, the tick of the clock, tiny bug feet, and tinkling finances. Even your motivations are sorely confused, you even have to toil, trust the process, or trust what will flow to you. A little bit of everything. Today, this week, what will you do, hmm? Chase the rabbits or grow the garden. Meditate better to Levitate with a woman or join Braxton. Tao Of B, Virgil

1743 Days Without B III, Day 1184 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

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Was Slowpoke a Slowpoke? How old was I when Pokémon came around? Hell, I was way too old to be singing to Braxton “Together Forever.” He was my little Pokémon. And his brother, Virgil? I’m still the old man here. “Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Or I’m crazy—split personalities and the like. There was the time before my boy, after, and now.

Three different men… Or more. And yet I wonder why I’m so sleepy, why “I feel STUPID,” and slow in a variety of ways. You can ask the Visual Lady at the Day Job. It’s why I was late, “Coming Home,” to Braxton’s little brother Virgil. He’s pretty bored, E.

And me? “I’ve been Takin’ Care Of Business.” I had another customer, Inspector Echo.

Only if I keep this up, I’ll end up like some MAGA Cracker Hat, P. Diddy, or some other ilk. No, Inspector, I have morals, a mission statement, as it were, and making money is a wonderful thing. So why am I all “Carmen Queasy?” Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

There is so much FEAR. I FEAR I’m too slow.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But I made it out of school, didn’t I? And every day I’m learning more. I read every single day. “I’m So Thankful” that I got to keep my reading streak. No, I don’t consider reading Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic” a sin. The harem aspect reminds me of M Anime.

And speaking of her and my son Braxton, I had all the time in the world. Braxton reached the ripe old age of fifteen. And the stories that M Anime set into motion could set me for life if I could add them to my side hustle. I mean, it is November. NaNoWriMo? Ah, memories.

Then there’s Virgil. I have another chance to be a DogDad. Another opportunity to pass on the teaching Inspector Echo.

I sound like the Shidoshi Tanaka from the movie Bloodsport. That’s what living is, Echo.

That’s not negativity, it is a fact of life: one big arena or Kumite. And I’ll be the victor E.

That almost became Virgil’s middle name. Virgil Victor. Instead, it’s Virgil Vivi for FF IX. You remember Vivi, the Black Mage. That’s how I’ve been feeling with my side hustle.

What and not like Ben-Hur/Forty-One (Cue Galley Drums). Again, I’m not being negative; I am being factual. It comes with trying on a bunch of hats. Not MAGA! Never MAGA!

The Dems kicked MAGA Ass last night! But anyway, I was thinking about this quote from Red Dawn. I think too much. But I’m a man. Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.

“And as we remember… please let them forget, O Lord… so they can be little again.”
Danny, Red Dawn (1984)

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1739 Days Without B III, Day 1180 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

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I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

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I was on time today… 5 AM turns to 4 AM. I still got up late after reading around 80% of Backyard Dungeon 22. Does that shut down the series? The UK editions? I wish I could shut my eyes on a more permanent basis, but “When Braxton Shut Down, Virgil”

Sunday, November 2, 2025

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I shut down an hour earlier… later… whatever. Daylight Saving Time ended. And you’re still annoyed.

An extra hour of sleep, and for what? A lie you didn’t have to tell. But you will finish “Backyard Dungeon 22” before the sun goes down today. And you’ll even order that Hot Honey Magnifico pizza. If you do something right for a change, but here you are. Please!

Yesterday was it, or sometime last week anyway, I was talking about the boys, bucks, and big boobs/yabbos. Do you have the bucks for pepperoni? Do you have the time?

That’s the thing about today. You’re so WOKE, and you’re “Wide Awake” to count fails.

Two so far, but again, you’ll finish Logan Jacobs’ book. But shutting down sounds nice. You’d join B but leave 2-V. That’s not right, and neither are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Let’s start with something small. “Your Eyes?” Wasn’t that one of Peter Gabriel’s best-known songs? But “This Is Your Life”, not Switchfoot’s… Okay, enough kidding. What you’re thinking is, you shouldn’t shut your eyes this afternoon. Always and forever, B.

Honestly, you knew just what to say. “Don’t Let Me Get Me,” as Pink sings. However, without an afternoon nap, you could open the fridge and find something for lunch. You could check and see if you have money for that pizza. The shower curtain opens to, you know that.

Because comedy comes in threes, you could finish Backyard Dungeon 22. There are also the book samples that have been tempting you. Read like you did when the boys rested with you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Open up your ears to the good rather than anything else. Books/audiobooks and music are meant to expand the world, not shield you from it… A time and a place. But you keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s “Magic Glasses.” See and hear good things, brother.

Honestly, open yourself up to more time. Anything and everything can shut down. But while you’re on your musical kick, “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’ slippin’ into the future.” Seal or the Steve Miller Band? One more thing you need to make time for, hmm?

A playlist for the Day Job, perhaps. Have faith. Better, have a heart. It did not shut down when Braxton left because Virgil is here. What was activated afterward? A soul? When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil

1736 Days Without B III, Day 1177 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

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I’m not afraid of dying. How I might die… Sure. Not the act. The Day Job is getting ready for Christmas. I forgot that “This Is Halloween.” And if I could go as anything. I’d want Braxton’s brave face or Virgil’s sleeping one. Being Braxton Or Virgil

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And in the spirit of complete transparency, I’m going to sin some more. What am I, a ghost?

I’m a father who misses his son—a dad who can’t figure out the other one. And I ain’t a liar like the Cracker Hats of MAGA and all of the Trump Administration. FDT, Echo.

Anyway, as Edmond Dantes screams, “What’s my crime!” Screaming, my dear Inspector Echo. It took me putting up Christmas ornaments at the Day Job to remember that “This Is Halloween,” well, on Friday. And I keep getting off-topic —forgive me. I only have 150 words to be sad, sinful, and scary. So my sin… I’m sharing my fears as “Opportunities.”

But I’m not the “Pet Shop Boys” despite my two sons, Braxton and Virgil. Inspector? Today I wondered, would I rather be Frankenstein… Resurrecting Braxton. Or a Ghostbuster. Imprisoning Virgil.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because death doesn’t frighten me, correction, my death doesn’t. This is not negativity but a fact. I suffered the loss of my firstborn son. And my second-born’s alive and well. So what FEAR am I facing again? The FEAR to LIVE. Without Braxton, Virgil, FEAR.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. President

Inspector, it’s a wonderful thing that I can quote a good president. Another fact, FDT! Anyway, what else is there to life? Cliché as it is, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Inspector, “If life’s a game made for everyone. Then love is the instruction.” Try it?

Inspector, am I afraid to love? Virgil Vivi, M Anime? I know I keep repeating myself, but “Love Is A Long Road” and “The Long Walk” for many weary souls.

And if anything, I’m afraid of how love. Again, I look to M Anime—my “ex-girlfriend,” Inspector Echo. Again, not negative, I’m only speaking the truth. The things I wanted to do to her. Indeed, to any woman I like. Oh, then there are my own kinks and fetishes too.

I do not FEAR success but power, as all wise men should. Every day, I see what I do with the bit of money I have. With enough money, 99 Problems vanish. What happens next?

Inspector, I could be living like my boys. But I heard once that satisfaction is the death of desire. And my desires? Many. Ten naked ladies like Hank Olson. Nothing is wrong, being me, for Halloween. Being Braxton Or Virgil

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1732 Days Without B III, Day 1173 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

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I’m waiting for the day they don’t call me Ma’am at the drive-thru. I wait for the food truck to get my order right. I wait for the day I’m respected at the Day Job. I wait for when I don’t miss my son so much. I wait for love. Virgil Will B Patient

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I didn’t have to wish for that. It took me fifteen years to learn. And…

His name was Braxton. And he would be… well, he’ll always and forever be Braxton.

I sit here with you late on a Tuesday evening—you and Virgil. And I’ve had two thoughts, and you’re not going to like either of them. You’re patient, waiting for me to be better.

Anyway, the first was that I wish B III were here to talk to, as I’m getting my “Creed” on:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no.”

The second is when I woke, I had been dreaming about 1992’s Aladdin… Well, Jasmine. The three wishes, anyway. And I thought if I had them, I’d want my son back, my B III. I wish that you would Love Me Now. Who am I, John Legend? And I wish I were dea*… asleep. Permanently.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Patience, positive vibes, and points. My point is that the Genie couldn’t bring anyone back from the dead. He couldn’t make someone fall in love. And he couldn’t bring harm.

And yet I am a patient man. I am a forgiving one. So, I’ve been thinking about what Rick Grimes said before the all-out war with Negan and the Saviors. Wise and brave, my love:

“I don’t want to wait for it anymore. You don’t either… Yeah, I know. So we don’t have to wait for it. If we start tomorrow right now… with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become… If we start tomorrow right now… no matter what comes next… we’ve won. We’ve already won.”
Rick Grimes

And isn’t that something like what Pete McVries said to Ray Garraty? To come all this way and “choose love.” For the record, I’m still upset with the movie. That’s not being negative, it’s only a fact, my love. I wait for things, and in the end, I want to love them, but what happens next? “Last Of My Kind.”

And “You Don’t Know Me,” love. But we have a lifetime to learn, don’t we? And I “pray” our two-legged children are fast learners like my four-legged ones. Braxton. Virgil?

Honestly, how my little Virgil tries. And you? I remember everything, including Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who was it that said patience is a virtue? One day I’ll wake up forgiving myself for Sunday, January 31, 2021, E-Day, and that Sunday with you. Being patient.

These days, it gets harder, but resistance is acceptable; I can wait. I was watching something about the Borg and the Federation while I was waiting at the food truck.

However, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.” “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Love Is A Long Road. Virgil Will B Patient

1731 Days Without B III, Day 1172 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

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No songs come to mind when it comes to food… Uh, Weird Al’s “Eat It,” “Cherry Pie,” “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” and D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar to name a few. I should stop listening to HaremLit and food porn while walking Virgil. “Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil”

Sunday, October 26, 2025

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And by God, no, that wasn’t a confession. Nor do your boys compete against each other. Braxton?

Fortunate Son indeed. Your favorite one? Meanwhile, Virgil is still five and still alive, Ha!

And you, partner? Well, you’re as effed as Eddie with Amrila and Ibseth, and the new girl, Vaeda. Backyard Dungeon 22? Some guys have all the luck. Eddie, Grayson, Jacob…

Some Cuban guy that has a harem that your Ex-Girlfriend M Anime decided to join. All because she wants babies. You want to breed M Anime. Must you be so crass? If anything, I wish you would stop reading HaremLit in the morning. And getting all hot and bothered. But if you had that one wish from “The Long Walk…” It’d be for food. Right?

Specifically, breakfast from The Excalibur in the book Succubus Lord. Get it! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

What’s your motivation? Well, besides Braxton’s Resurrection and Virgil’s Immortality?

Yes, we’re going to talk about breakfast and business. First, there are pancakes. You actually have pancakes. You wrote a book about your pancake. My Turn To B III. Yep.

People talk about Chicken & Waffles. Can the same be said about Chicken & Pancakes?

What’s smoking right now is the argumentation of reality or “AI” Artificial Intelligence, my friend. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Well, programs. Manmade, whatever?

You’re smoked like some smoked sausages you were drooling over. Uh, you were listening to Jacob speak on what he and the Succubi were eating. Do you have the cash?

When you get up off your ass? You’ll have hash… browns. Encouraging Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because you’re not a pig like those in the cult of MAGA, the Cracker Hats. But you do enjoy your bacon. And what about pork chops? How about a political column? You don’t have to be a genius. That is not being negative. It’s a fact. You’re smarter than Trump.

FDT. Do you remember those sausage-and-egg bowls? Of course, this blog itself is another bright idea. You, talking about your everyday life. Years upon years, you novel away. Books galore.

Because talking about Lucky Charms cereal bars or all the junk food that makes up your usual breakfast… Both Braxton and Virgil would prefer those big breakfasts from those old shows. You’ve never smoked a sausage “Forty-One” (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil

1729 Days Without B III, Day 1170 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

WillLeave a comment

Time for me to get a new tablet… Kindle took my over 2000-day reading streak. I read on Virgil’s birthday. And it’s not the time for him to join his big brother Braxton. And how have I been spending my time? AI Johnny Sins? Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because I didn’t tell Braxton he was living his last day? And Virgil’s older now, FIVE. THIRTY-SIX Human?

I actually took the time to look that up, Inspector. Monday, I read something interesting.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

I’m glad I read something because, according to Kindle, I didn’t, as they dropped my 2,000-some odd-day reading streak. WTF! I’m sure I read on 2-V’s Birthday. I know it.

Anyway, the quote… It got me thinking about my writing, which doesn’t pay. The idea that I can become the Johnny Sins of AI… Again, that doesn’t pay either. I haven’t had a customer in a week. There’s reading, gaming, and a Social Media presence.

Inspector, I know that’s very funny. You should have seen how I humiliated myself at the Day Job. It pays, but not enough. There’s always time to make money. But not to be depressed. SIGH!

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, this isn’t negativity… Let’s call it goal setting. It’s like talking to Braxton, Inspector.

I need to write. But look at the quote above. I’m talking to you, the other girls, myself, Braxton, and I’ve even given him a voice. I want to work on my writing lifestyle, which means more novels that I WILL edit. I want to write snippets using “Magic Glasses.”

Echo, I haven’t been able to get Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses series out of my mind these days. I even use the “idea” in everyday life. I imagine what I want to see. So yesterday I kept telling myself, “Pick up your feet, you’re better than this.” Or like Scarface:

“The world is yours.”
Scarface

So I’ve been reworking the world from a digital standpoint.

And then there’s everything else that doesn’t involve my boys, Braxton and Virgil. They always show up in my writing. And I’d kick them out when I’m having my “time.” But I’m still reading Backyard Dungeon 21, playing a few new mobile games, and socializing.

Inspector, I’m learning to manage money, and I should do the same with time, honestly.

Next week will be lucrative “Day Job-wise.” But it only drives me to pursue my many passions. That again begs the question, my “Passion.” “Money making is a wonderful thing.”

Nothing is wrong with being “Carmen Queasy” because we all could use more cash, Echo.

But I know you can’t buy time. We need “Time Enough At Last” like Henry Bemis. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

1725 Days Without B III, Day 1166 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

WillLeave a comment

It’s love to pick one foot up and put it down, then again. Braxton and I did it for fifteen years. Virgil has been doing it for five now. “Love Is A Long Road.” Life is “The Long Walk.” So am I winning alone (with V). I’m no gym bro. “B And V Bench.”


Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “my” music? How “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher And Higher.” Like Braxton’s?

No, I’m not Jackie Wilson. And should you take this as the “Diary of a Tired Black Man.” No, I’m not that famous. But I am tired, black, and a man. Yours, always and forever.

Scratch the tired part. But today I am. Why? I just lifted my second-born son Virgil to his fifth birthday. Hell! I raised B III straight to Heaven. Don’t put your blame on me, “Human.”

I imagine that’s what Braxton would say. I didn’t “end” him. “You and me,” Darling…

“Love lift us up where we belong,” please. As I’ve been down since… You remember?

Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I’ve gone from shuffling my feet to telling myself to lift up my feet, I deserve better than this. Love?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’m proud of my body. I haven’t eaten anything but a shared McDonald’s birthday lunch with 2-V, some candies, and peanuts. That’s not negativity, but the facts. “I’m Still Here.”

“I’m Still Standing!” “I’m still strong!” Whether it’s Elton John, Antwone Fisher, or any number of pop culture references. It’s love. I want to think of you like that, Darling.

Honestly, call it “A Sunday Kind of Love.” The kind I felt when Braxton would sit on my head, and I loved him/ love him enough to take him outside. When I would rise to see you love, in more ways than one. Our two-legged kids would still be sleeping. B and V would be pawing at the door. But we would lie here, love.

Right here, before I’d type out to the millions and millions, my dreams of us. The two of us, listening to ’50s/’60s apocalyptic pop. Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

Honestly, though, I didn’t care about the “Civil War” 2024 or whatever MAGA has going on, whether it’s a movie or reality. “I got Heaven right here on Earth.” Your husband. A man of leisure. And again I am telling myself to pick ’em up and put ’em down. And that is a husband’s, a father’s, and a man’s responsibility. I keep saying it. A man provides hmm—the truth.

“The Long Walk” and all. Love’s my exercise. Be my partner. B And V Bench.

1724 Days Without B III, Day 1165 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will