Tag: Time

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

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I didn’t understand love until Braxton, really… Let me add another word to that, awesome. Awesome was sitting in bed doling out fries to B. It was him sitting on the corner of the bed as I napped. It was being healthy. Someday Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Saga 302 ~Virgil, Let’s B Awesome~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would be awesome. It wouldn’t matter the clock, the crime… this isn’t Australia…

See, or better yet, the C word I wanted to use there. I have all the respect in the world for women. But that doesn’t make me a good man. Or even a man at all, no matter how I try. “My life” ha-ha, my existence is Shiitake mushrooms. And yes, Lady Lunalesca, I did look up are Shiitake mushrooms good for dogs? Because it always comes back to Triple B. “Aaugh!” I would go all FML but no. I continue to exist. Braxton was effed over having me as a friend, father, and freeloader when it came to all his love, Lunalesca. What does all this mean? Hell! Not a damn thing, I know. But the first word that came to mind today… Awesome.

Yeah, I fell asleep during meditation. Relax, Lunalesca, I was supposed to. If I wasn’t going so broke at the end of this month. I am inclined to buy the full service? With a Happy Ending? Oh, I’m sorry, that’s a massage, right? Thirty-eight years and I’ve never had one. And I wouldn’t even have to be a billionaire, Luna. Certain celebrities? Lunalesca, I’m trying to avoid looking them up. Or even something simple as, Happy Tugs. The things in this world that I find awesome. Haven’t I always said that everything I want is Impossible, Inane, Insane… Illegal. Lady Lunalesca, God gave me everything I want. Nope! Not yet. Why not? But you know what? Having Braxton Barks back. Now that would be awesome.

“Everything Is Awesome!!!” But the question is when. What about how or why, Lady Lu? If, as Aloe Blacc sang, “Life’s a game made for everyone.” Let’s start. Easy Level. Lady Lunalesca, (sigh) Virgil would get off my leg. My only reason for getting out of bed today, I swear—another lie. I should get a haircut, go shopping, and keep myself alive for B. Yeah, I said B and not V. And did I say easy? I can’t say what I mean, Lunalesca, ever? How I hope that is a lie. Like I tell myself every time I crawl into bed. I’ll take a nap, or I won’t have to get up at all. In-between, Eff, I mean, uh, Awesome. Virgil, Let’s B Awesome

818 Days Without B III, Day 259 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 300 ~To B Alive, Virgil~

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“What is real? How do you define ‘real’?” Um, sorry, Morpheus, but what is living? How do you define living? The way I figure, wife and children (two-legged). “My business?” “Cash rules everything around me.” Fame, fortune? My son. To B Alive, Virgil

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Saga 300 ~To B Alive, Virgil~

816 Days Without B III, Day 257 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How about this question, B? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Big! Final answer? No. January 31st, on that day, your answer would have been, “Take me home.” And you would be my son, and that’s all that mattered to you. Afterward… whatever. Instead, in your bed, you asked me a question. Drugged, dying… “Why can’t I stay?” Braxton, I should do some more reading. “Pet Grief: How to Cope Before and After?” Yeah, I never read that stuff when you were around. Of course. Always and forever. Braxton, I was reading last night. The book discussed how I should replace the video of your death with “happier” memories in “my mind.” So as I risked life and limb today, I sat in the car and thought. You’re always riding with me. The pendant I wear…

Then I thought about Virgil sitting in your spots—the passenger side of your best friend’s ride. There’s him on the bed. And there’s your room. Your pillow Braxton. Dammit. Months later, and I’m still pissed about that. But Virgil’s petrified. Am I that bad… Thursday, I’m your Dad. 300 days of the Saga I continue to be. That is all and nothing more. Well, a pervert that wanted to eff the woman I was working with. Besides the point. As I keep saying. Most days I want to join you. Hell! All days. You won’t like this, but you have something in common with your granddad. Him living, you being dead B life sucks! Virgil feels the same way about me and him, sure.

Virgil is the life I should be worried about. He did well at his appointment. But with all the money I’m about to lose this week. Let’s start with forgetting to pick up any dinner. Don’t worry, you would have got your fries, or Virgil did. The little freeloader. Stopping! Anyway, I wish being broke was the only bad news. But it’s not like reading good news is doing me favors. Braxton, it’s like fate, karma; the universe can’t decide. You got me through 2020, Braxton. Now if it isn’t, the world is going to Hell; it’s all those angels I talked about with Echo. And today I saw Tobe Nwigwe got in a movie. Again I’m proud. But Braxton, I’m wasting “my life” existence… Alive? To B Alive, Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 299 ~B It Goodbye Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Hell! I wrote a letter to Satan once. No, I don’t mean Santa. I said bye to him when I said goodbye to the church. My worst goodbye? That’s my son, and when I wake up. “God gave me everything I want?” My boy, brains, balls? Nope… B It Goodbye Virgil.

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Saga 299 ~B It Goodbye Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while most are terrified by their greed. I don’t want to scare anyone. A lie

But let’s start with some facts. V is right here. And he ain’t going nowhere. Like the song “I’m right here and I ain’t goin’ nowhere You can turn tables, and you can throw chairs.” One thing that he and Braxton have in common. And speaking of which, Braxton is still dead. I never need reminding of that. Only it was something on Facebook… Inspector. What was it, hmm? Today it doesn’t matter. Yet I can’t say goodbye to Braxton or Virgil these days. Well, if you ask me which I prefer. Not that it’s a competition. Wake up dead? Of course, I mean me. It would be proper Inspector. To go with another song, “I’m way too good at goodbyes,” If I say them…

For example, if you’re waiting for another reason why I’m late talking to you, Inspector… I swear my dick has gone from two blonde models to a princess. There was Kaycee Barnes, Sandra McCoy, and Diane Lane “Unfaithful. A plethora of British BBWs, for sure. Hannah Harper and resting with Harmony Reigns “Fake Driving School.” So, the third song of the day? “Don’t know why I didn’t come.” Thank you, Norah Jones. I swear, Echo, geez. The days when I could watch porn and get back to business. Madness, Inspector. There’s the business of the Day Job when I walk out at the end of my shift. That’s that, ha. And, of course, my worst goodbye… besides my son leaving. Waking up in the morning

That’s because as soon as I turn on any of these screens. There’s always something, Inspector. Do you want to know what has me depressed today? Pop Culture whore… (Goes all Amanda Bynes, Ask Ashley) “THAT’S ME!” E, I’m going to get pretty stupid. Okay, so Carlie Jo is getting married. So is Suzy Lu. You can add Shelby from “Girlfriend Reviews to the list. Then Samantha “TBR Schmitt” is expecting. Becky Blow… pregnant. Now ask me, what the eff any of this has to do with me? Nothing. And I’m glad for them. But what have I said about manhood and fatherhood? Family? Killed my son, B III. There’s my Olds, my sister, Virgil? Love and Happiness? I think not. B It Goodbye Virgil

815 Days Without B III, Day 256 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 298 ~Loving B’s and V’s…~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t ever ask me about my business or my B. A lie. I could talk about both forever. One more reason for V and still looking for a woman… “‘Cause our love would be forever,” like the song. And I’m obsessive in trying to be polite. Loving B’s and V’s.

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Saga 298 ~Loving B’s and V’s…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. I wish I could say it’s because I loved B enough. Like V… Any other letters?

Loving B’s and V’s. Hell! I said after B, there would never be another. And being the prick, I am… There still isn’t. Love at first sight, indeed. I should have remembered that with B. I’m sure when you first heard me mention B, V. Well if I wasn’t talking about the boys; then it had to be my business. Color Me Badd… Yeah, here comes all the Pop Culture. From the idea that “I Wanna Sex You Up?” Well, I do. So why don’t I? 115 days still crying. There was a time I thought I would never have sex again. Penance, Punishment, Pressure. To love, somehow, something, someone as much as I do, my boy. I love you, our kids, and my business.

Dotting i’s and crossing t’s when it comes to business. Funny, I’d never tell you something like, “My business, my business. Stay the eff up out my business, ’cause it’s mine, oh mine.” Ludacris? really? I’m shocked that you decided to “Stay With Me.” Surprising. “Why am I so emotional? No, it’s not a good look, gain some self-control” Whatever. When it comes to my son. I can’t say that I’ve even given it the college try. He was mine. And yet when it comes to the “sin” that is this place. “Take me baby, or leave me.” Uh oh! I’m not worried about this. But it’s being a grieving father. My firstborn son… gone! Baby girl, I want you involved. But “On My Own.”

Minding my P’s and Q’s. As it isn’t right to be crying all the time. But grief, my love (sigh).
It’s sort of a forever thing. Like, love? And as the song goes, “But he talks like a gentleman,” and I try. But you have to realize I had no idea who I was until I was around 21, love. Only then, it wasn’t getting drunk. “You know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love.” Last song? Anyway, it wasn’t between a pair of legs. It was a ball of fluff’s finding me. Let me rephrase, ha-ha. It was the puppy stepping on my head every morning. Polite? No. But my reason. He is love. You are loved. Loving B’s and V’s…

814 Days Without B III, Day 255 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I would have died for Braxton. And who knows, I could go broke for Virgil. And even if I hadn’t had two fur babies, as the song goes, “I’m bleeding and broken.” Always in one way or another. Mental, Physical, the Man in the Mirror. To B Broken Virgil

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you exist more like Seong Gi-hun from “Squid Game.” You are not a horse… That’s positivity.

The most you’ll get today because you feel like crap or glue. Either one works for the horse analogy that’s going on. Hell! Back in the day, I bet on the horses (sigh). Good Times? And now, these Hard Times. If it’s not your body… And for once, you’re not thinking about your wayward dick. Anyway, your body is broken, or your bank account. Broke? What does that mean to you? More effing work. I left you with so much to do with my “Lazy-Ass.” How many pop-culture references is that; wanting to hear anything? Billionaires don’t have to listen to anybody if that helps. That’s why I’m talking, and you’re listening. Or you’re trying to. More like you need to understand… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 114 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When will Braxton coming back be on the list? It’s not like you’re doing four of these things anyway. I was ready to break #4, dammit! One pain in exchange for another. One head for another. Instead of a hard-on, you have a headache. Luckily you have a few pills. Why not cry, “I’m just a sucker for pain!” 812 days, revenge, justice, punishment. The “precision of language?” If that doesn’t sum up every effing word, you’ll say this week. Words like Humiliation, Sorry, and the greatest of these is Love. Ears and eyes work. Only you’re still broken, and Jesus ain’t coming by to save you. Would you want him anyway? If he or anyone else had saved Braxton… But no Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I got six more. Um ok. Uh, again. As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha. Your right ear is perfectly fine. You don’t need your ears living a “Bukkake” scene. Keeping your pants on other than in the bathroom will be pretty effing easy. Bukkake? No. You will not cry about Braxton today. Will you be happy with his memory? You’ll have something to look forward to tomorrow. And be one step close to Billions. You’ve healed completely! The Cherry Collision, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart? Existence? Today you will live. Yeah, I’m laughing at that one too. Mental Health broke. If anything, cancel those OnlyFans subscriptions. Be grateful Virgil’s little body is broken. According to vets. To B Broken Virgil

812 Days Without B III, Day 253 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

V handles his shi… his business better than me. The vet says he’ll continue to at the tune of $125. But then the termite guy wanted $189. And as V “runs” to me, where did I run to… Some man, I am at 38. Yet I want a family. “To B Thirty-Nine Virgil.”

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Saga 295 ~To B Thirty-Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… well, no. Neither am I thirty-nine at the moment. Or proud of myself? Love Virgil? Happy?

Hell! Today will sound like it’s for Inspector Echo. To wake up humiliated, Lady Lunalesca. I had a nightmare about what happened at the Day Job Thursday. Facts Luna, like this one. (Sigh), my son is dead. But Banfield called to check up on 2V today. No, that’s not a dig. They would check on B III all the time as well. Love, business, everything in between? B was/is my business. So where’s his novel, Lunalesca? You’re not Mary J. Blige telling me, “Why won’t you grow up and be a man someday.” I always say something to the tune of “Not Today.” We’ll get into not having a family after all this time. “What do we say to the God of Death? Not today.”

But at thirty-eight, what have I done with this existence? Notice I don’t want to say “my life.” I’m glad I’m listening to a meditation. Yeah, I’d be all into Jon Bon Jovi, you know. “It’s My Life.” One of my rules Lunalesca. Number Fifteen, I Take My Own Lumps. Lunalesca, you want to know what that means to me? Manhood, I suffer, fight, and love. Today, tomorrow, however many days I got left, I believe the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. The effing GOP? Or they want all women to be mothers and nothing more. It’s no secret I want a family. I’m paying $115.00 to ensure Virgil Vivi stays alive and well, $10.00 more in Braxton’s memory. I am taking care of business.

Remember the termite guy that “stole” that Bow from me during the inspection? Eff me! Anyway. So I, a thirty-eight-year-old man. I went and begged my “daddy” for compensation. And let’s not mention the lights, the water, the whole damn house! Lunalesca, I keep food on the table for V and me. There are the clothes on our backs, aren’t there, Lunalesca? I keep the car running. Not paid for, but it keeps going. I’m still alive. The Cherry Collision. and The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident? Lunalesca? Veterinarians ain’t cheap, but a bit less than keeping myself healthy. A man provides, Lu. I got access to sexy things and what’s dangling between my legs. Yet Braxton was/is the best man ever. To B Thirty-Nine Virgil

811 Days Without B III, Day 252 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

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Once Bitten, Twice Shy… A phrase? On my playlist? The reminder of a pup while at the Day Job. Hell! Why was I even there? B needed food, and he ain’t here no more. The other pup has an upcoming vet visit. The long walk? No! Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Saga 293 ~Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy~

809 Days Without B III, Day 250 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I would be if you were still here. Or I had that billion, I promised.

I’ve always wanted to kill someone. Whoa, Dude! Is that your voice I’m hearing, or am I talking to myself? I have a lot of explaining to do. You know how that goes. The time… Okay, you’ll be happy to know that I didn’t spend all of it sleeping as is my way B III. Reveling in food, reading, and effing raging at myself for today. Two out of three. Anyway, how does that equate to me wanting to kill anyone? I’m always angry, Braxton. So, I’m sharing with the freeloader… Okay, Virgil. He tried taking my fingers off… with the food. Once bitten, twice shy, aha; continuing on. If I lost a finger, I’d never feed 2V ever again. And killing? I killed you.

I’ve always wanted to uh… Let’s say join you. The police and others have been everywhere these past few days. Add to that the manager. I don’t need cops at the door. And I need to stay employed. For what it’s worth. But B, the idea of death doesn’t bother me. No, not ever. Yours did, fair enough. But my own? I’d only have to be lucky once. It crosses my mind more and more. Despite numerous attempts. Hell! You were there, Braxton, watching—something else to apologize for. I’d say I’ve always wanted to apologize—every day. B III, the last time I thought I was dying… Well, I remember the day you died, Sunday, January 31, 2021. And now Virgil Vivi’s appointment (sigh).

I’ve always wanted to save a life, Braxton. And isn’t this it? One more tough week, and now Virgil sees a doctor Friday. It scares me to death. I wish. Virgil Vivi needs his vaccination. And what about this existence? Once more, I’ve felt all sorts of ill. Or should I say a Republican? Yeah, a member of the GOP. Once again caught doing something wrong by a black person. Um, watching dog videos at the Day Job. I keep saying it. I miss you! I’ve always wanted to bring you back to me. Only I’m not reading about reincarnation. Once bitten and all that. Having killed the one I love, how could I ever? You live in me. And Virgil? Braxton, Virgil, Twice Shy

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Saga 292 ~Humiliations B Gone Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Of all the words … I would say LOVE is the most misunderstood. But then again. “This Is America.” The one that nobody seems to get is FREEDOM. Now if you ask me to stay in my lane as a black man. My word is Humiliation. Humiliations B Gone Virgil

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Saga 292 ~Humiliations B Gone Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as much as I act like a Republican and an “American Idiot.” One word… FREEDOM!!!

No, I haven’t screamed that at the top of my lungs while I don’t know. Trying to storm the capital, going on right-wing news, or being disemboweled… eww. (Shudders). Now you know why I take treachery, treason, so damn seriously. My punishment for B? What day is it, 808? But also I’m time traveling. So I don’t know what humiliations I’ve faced on this day. At this precise moment, though, I’m humiliated and embarrassed. What about motivation? One of these days, I’m not sure before this one, I meditated, Echo. For the record, today’s meditation was horrible. I have to find the time. Time Inspector. We’ll get to that. Anyway, in one of the better meditations. They ask for the WHY. There it was, FREEDOM!

The FREEDOM to be humiliated? I was thinking about Bella Thorne last night. Oh! Not for that Inspector? Sorry Bella Thorne. I like “Lonely” and all but Inspector. I’m “freaky.” Freaky but not a freak, and we go all into that, okay. It’s like Dennis Leary in this movie um:

“I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to. Okay, pal?”
Demolition Man

Now if I were a better “man,” I might go the route of Posse (1993). A great man like King David (from the film) though I want to be Jesse Lee. Revenge? That’s something else I can say I want. Much like that feeling for “Sexual Healing,” it comes and goes. Did I say that?

“I’m talking about revolution without bullets. Revolution without violence or bloodshed. It’s easier to shoot a gun than it is to read a book. It’s easier to take a man’s life than it is to educate him and teach him about life. It’s easier to hate than it is to love.The revolution I’m talking about is a revolution of the mind and the spirit. And education, that’s the key. Education leads to freedom. Education is freedom. Education will teach you how to do it yourself as opposed to asking someone else to do it for you. And around it our own town… Freemanville!”
Posse (1993)

And 1993 was a good year, but what about something more current? Sucker Punch (2011) What’s My Age Again? Anyway:

“All I require from you is a slither of a moment. To have you not by force, but simply as a man and a women. To see in your eye, that simple truth, that you give yourself to me freely. Not because you have to, but because you want to. Now of course, for such a gem, I will give as well. I’m willing to give you freedom. Pure and total freedom. Freedom from the drudgery of everyday life. Freedom as abstract ideal. Freedom from pain. Freedom from responsibility. Freedom from guilt. From regret. Freedom from sadness. Freedom from loss. The freedom to be happy. Don’t close your eyes; I need you to look at me. The freedom to love.”
Deleted Scene, Sucker Punch (2011)

Okay, so FREEDOM or Humiliation? You know, I erased something I wanted to say, Echo. I talked about LUST a few days ago. Hell! The FREEDOM to be “As Nasty as They Wanna Be.” I’m way worse, Dear Echo. But that’s not why I’m a sinner, ashamed, and uh, guilty. A father’s greatest Humiliation is to be he who failed his children. Well, only Braxton. There’s the freeloader. I have to stop thinking that about Virgil Vivi. I know, Inspector. Do I want some FREEDOM back being without him? As if I’ve had FREEDOM Inspector. Even now, I sit here… I wanted to say a slave. Too far, Inspector? Much! But that is to exist. “Welcome to My Life” If only Humiliations B Gone Virgil.

808 Days Without B III, Day 249 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 291 ~Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Let’s show some etiquette. Have I ever? I’m cursing, complaining, or crying about my boy. Then there’s the beauty, brains, breeding, and bounty of my blood. If the wife’s a goddess and I’m rich. Promises to B and V Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Saga 291 ~Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what do people like me do with all their time? Shooting, shitting on people. Sex…

Um, some things should be separate. What was I thinking? If anything, I’m trying not to. Hell! Isn’t that what meditation is; clearing one’s mind? Except Braxton is here as always. My heart? Since I’m in a movie sort of mood. As Finn put it in Great Expectations, the (1998) edition. “It’s my heart, and it’s broken.” And you know I’ve been trying to repair it for 807 days, the last count. Even though today is Saturday, April 15, 2023. Meditation has me motivated. Or maybe the lack of masturbation. But I’ve been edging plenty. Why should I do either when I have you, lovely baby girl, my darling wife? Saturday, tomorrow, Monday, now, I will mourn Braxton Barks. And all that time in between?

Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty. Perfect for a “Cry-Baby” like me. If only I had time to watch the movie tonight. The two of us or the whole family. Does that mean Virgil as well? I’m still trying to figure him out. As well as myself, to be honest. Braxton, though; Braxton will always be my son. He couldn’t be more mine if he shared my bloodline. I fought with my old man once. Braxton knew my blood; I’m afraid to say. And you don’t want me to say it, but Braxton’s blood remains on my hands. I killed my effing family. Now that’s something I shouldn’t be saying out loud, but Triple B was/is my family. Today there’s you and them. Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty

It won’t be a movie that lulls me to sleep tonight. I’ll need even more meditation. Sometime soon, I’m sure it will get old. But not my love, my lust, my dying from lack of you. Is that how you feel about me being the way I am, like my ideas of being a man? A husband, a father, and at one point, Braxton’s favorite. If a man cannot “afford” a family, then he shouldn’t have one. A man provides. So I have the bounty down; I always have. And I always will. Um, breeding, ha? You gave us such incredible kids, but… B III. He is my heart. You gave our kids Beauty and Brains. Love? You, kids, furbabies, always. Beauty, Brains, Braxton, Virgil

807 Days Without B III, Day 248 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“But I’m on the outside; I’m looking in. I can see through you, see your true colors. ‘Cause inside you’re ugly, you’re ugly like me.” Michael Jackson’s nicer, “Man in the Mirror.” If anyone, I’d like to be my son. Dealing with me? Harder To B Virgil

Sunday, April 16, 2023

Saga 289 ~Harder To B Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. By comparison, you’re blocking off a fence with the screen door panel. A metal chair… A lazy-ass.

Zombieland huh? “It’s tough growing up in Zombieland. It’s tough growing up.” Or would you prefer a bit of John Q. “I understand. It’s hard to be a man these days. Hard to know what the right thing is.” You will have little time to watch movies today. Nope! Hell! You haven’t even cried over Braxton today. But the day’s still so young (sigh). Approaching 9:00 AM. And I’ve made this week much harder than it should be… again. I’m sorry. You should save your apologies for Braxton. And a couple for Virgil Vivi. You’re not STUPID enough to ask, what about you? The fact that you’re even awake. Woke? Let’s not get into politics right now. Is life? Existence? Hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING How to ROAR: Pet Loss Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 100 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 107 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And if the best man you’ve ever known couldn’t cope… What chance do you have? Existing has become so hard that I got you practicing meditation, even now. Is it helping? Yeah, you don’t want to answer that. One more reason fur babies don’t talk. Because… Well, if they did. Braxton was/is his father’s son. Like you, he’d scream obscenities, vulgarities, and the like. And why. You were about to say people don’t understand, right? If meditation has taught me anything. It’s the fact that even breathing is a struggle. Braxton knew this true enough but for you? “For You?” Or more like Staind’s “Outside.” Don’t go looking at YouTube now. It’s one of the reasons you have “Flow State” running now. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because talking to yourself, the “Man in the Mirror,” is hard… B is somewhere laughing. Virgil’s all scared to death. Going from good women. To an effed-up grown man. (Laughs). Are you? Well, not in a good way, with you wasting an hour. Pornographic passions. It’s 9:30 now. And already, you can say that you’ve failed #6. You’ve been flirting with #4 too. Let’s not forget all the writing that must get done today, so eff #3. They’re my fault. The only thing I seem to accomplish is making existing that much worse every week. That’s a hard-ass legacy. Isn’t it? I’d ask what the eff you’re going to do about it. But, um, no. Harder than existing? Being without Braxton. Harder To B Virgil

805 Days Without B III, Day 246 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will