Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Day 1 after E-Day. How do I feel? I never expected to make it to 39. I always feel like a little boy that should be a “walker.” And now I’m reading about vampires. Every year, I wish for a zombie apocalypse. Before Braxton died. “E-Day B Fell Virgil”

Friday, September 8, 2023

Tale 069 ~E-Day B Fell Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I wish I was drunk enough to say that’s why I’m butchering the English language.

But no, Lady Sophia. I am pretty sober, scared, skeevy, and what’s that goes… “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” And there goes my critic. “You can’t use words like that.” I’m sure I’ll be hearing that from my Olds any day now. I know, it never ends, never ends.” And the one I want to hear from my little boy, Braxton. Old age, sickness. I’ll say I killed him. But I didn’t kill it yesterday regarding E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Now, which of those terms do I keep forgetting about, Lady Sophia? As the song goes, “I’m still breathing, I’m alive.” It’s Day 1 of “my” brand new year, and I already wish… Again, Sophia, I’m one greedy “person” who turned 39. And it sucks!

So what did I do yesterday as I was turning? Coincidence I’m reading about vampires? A People’s History of the Vampire Uprising, to be precise. No more dead fur babies? Sophia, we’ll get to that. It’s the only reason I got up at around 6:00 a.m. V had a fall. Anyway, so, yesterday. “My” body doesn’t know what to do with eight hours, so I got six and some change. It was like any other “Lovely Day.” I let V outside as I drank a cappuccino. Then I helped myself to a cupcake and wasted away on the computer, Lady Sophia. Inevitably, the Old Man texts along with my Ma and bam! For someone constantly “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” Fear, Adrenaline, “Fight To Survive.”

Not so much a fight, but I have a few days at least. But we’re talking about E-Day. So next? I took a shower, and then all that criminality; I didn’t do Wednesday. So, yesterday? Lady Sophia, I didn’t commit any crimes. Shocking! I know. If anything, I zoned out until it was time for Virgil to go outside again. Then I read and not much else until… the food. Now, that was a mess. While I was being all “Law Abiding Citizen,” someone else… Anyway, the food was stolen, I guess, and the second try was lacking. Doordash hmm? After that… to bed. And Virgil slipped off a pillow and hit the floor. Repeating. Rut, Regret… every E-Day, without Braxton. E-Day B Fell Virgil

950 Days Without B III, Day 391 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

WillLeave a comment

Welcome to Level 39! Welcome to E-Day. It’s still the 6th, and the day is a waste. 14244 days of worthlessness. There were 15 years with the greatest guy ever. My son. And 39 years of living in terror of a few people… Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

Tale 068 ~Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day~

949 Days Without B III, Day 390 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Welcome to Level 39. I think I’m going to be sick. Dead? Just Survive Somehow.

In the next few minutes… I could be joining you. I’m time-traveling as today is Wednesday, September 6, 2023; current time is 2:48 PM. Your granddaddy said he’ll be here at 3:00. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Braxton. How many more, hmm? The person I am right this second will change between his arrival and departure, Braxton. I said the same thing about you on many different occasions. But the one I’m thinking about right this second… I didn’t burst into tears at the Day Job for nothing. I needed the pain of losing you to negate the pain of losing myself. The Horror, the Horror awaits. We’re T-Minus 5 minutes. I thought midnight would be the worst, but your Gramps.

But let’s say I survive this moment. Braxton, he’s 3 minutes away, running late, whatever.

Yeah, whatever. This afternoon, I’m going to hop in the shower… I remember you hated me doing that. We are creatures of routine. And an evening shower meant… the movies. As in, I’m leaving you. There were your Aunt’s mammaries, which you loved so much. There was that time with the maid, Special K. Or there was more work from the Day Job. Must I make a big deal out of everything, even a shower? Braxton, please help me! Anyway, tomorrow, I won’t set any alarms. I’ll wake up when I’m good and ready. Braxton, should I order something for breakfast and lunch? Take care of Virgil, of course, duh!

Another thing for this afternoon. I should take care of all my criminality. Just saying. Don’t I always say I don’t have time to work on your albums? But somehow, I’ll find the time to work on some… anyway, The Pic Phenomenon. I’d never do that when you were around. And VV? He runs on fear and Adrenaline like me. Like father, like freeloader, ha. Stop! I hear ya, B III, I do. I wish I could stop this fear right now. And today, Braxton. Today, there’s a good night’s sleep, some good food, and Simoleons in my pocket, funny. It’s now 3:29. Your Gramps isn’t here yet. E-Day is coming for me. My E-Day wish is… that we are together. Mourning Braxton, Virgil, E-Day

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 067 ~Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I was pretty young, buying my first Fleshlight, a camera, and… well, I must have been. Now, I’d have to have express delivery for anything I want for E-Day. Not like Heaven… or Hell delivers. The Olds have bad news. V’s quiet. Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil

Wednesday, September 6, 2023

Tale 067 ~Bye Braxton, Buy Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I call myself a thief? Inspector, I’m far worse. A liar, a manipulator… murderer?

“Why can’t I just be normal?” Can’t I play Far Cry 5 or watch a movie as E-Day approaches? Um? I could buy a PS5. I didn’t say that? And even if I were for real, I wouldn’t make time to play it. I’m not even watching “Home Security Guard 2” after downloading it. Inspector, it’s still Sunday, September 3, 2023. I’m still “Turning Japanese,” I really think so. But we’ll get to that. I keep saying that, Inspector, and there’s Emergence Day. God, I wish I could say more about this existence. And you know what I want more than Braxton back. Extinction? But no, Inspector, I’m sitting here napping, procrastinating, etc. At least Virgil’s still alive and well. I paid for Braxton’s… Euthanasia.

But let’s talk about what I’ve been buying on the second worst day existing, Inspector. As I’ve said, I’ve been looking at what the critic likes and dislikes: languages sometimes. Anyway, I don’t know who I’m paying. Russians, Japanese, the greedy Republicans with their “kinks.” Either way, I’m not a good person. Hell! I’m even keeping my pants on, ha. There’s this place right here. I’m sitting in bed, not working on escaping the Day Job. But I want to talk. And I want the critic to say whatever about my speech, even with corrections. And I mentioned something about some nasty chicken I bought, but it wasn’t Pizza Hut. I don’t expect Braxton’s Aunt to buy me a pizza for E-Day again. Good girl.

I don’t want to think about what I will buy on E-Day. When Braxton was here, there was always food and even cake. There could be a full night’s sleep, Inspector. Though being the greedy so-and-so I am, I always want more. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, uh? Anytime would be good to join my boy. And with what the Olds might say about their son at thirty-nine that has done absolutely nothing with the existence they permitted… Inspector, I am afraid. That’s something else I can’t get for E-Day. Love and happiness, peace of mind, Echo. There’s also the idea of a piece of… again, the critic, censorship, and cowardice. Inspector, I can’t say goodbye or buy my way out of this. Time remains priceless, Inspector.

948 Days Without B III, Day 389 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 066 ~I’ll B Home Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m unsure of the day my Braxton entered the world, so I gave him one. But the day he left it… It was the worst day ever. Second is the day I came into the world. And being unfortunate enough to stay 39 years… I’ll B Home Virgil.

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Tale 066 ~I’ll B Home Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but like when I was in the womb, I haven’t planned on leaving here anytime soon.

I’m glad it’s not E-Day yet. And the kids are at school. There’s also the fact that I’m time-traveling. It’s Sunday, September 3, 2023, at this particular moment. I’m thirty-eight. Today, that’s about 14,240 days. Looking at that makes me want to “Scream?” “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” Looking at the “Man In The Mirror,” I tell him that you “Make Me Wanna Die.” Am I making my playlist for E-Day, or what? Hell! I even yearn for B III’s passing. No! Not like that. I was a horrible “human being” when it came to the life of B III. Emergence, Existence, Extinction Day, though, is all about me. And first and foremost, I want to stay here, home. And I don’t have that luxury anymore.

I know I’m being like a heartless so-and-so. Oh Love! I want to say bad words. But there’s you, the kids, Virgil… the critic. Ha! And today, second only to B III’s passing away (sigh.) Soy un perdedor. I swear my critic is making me better with languages. While Japanese seems to be a no-go. You know words like “Security Guard.” Maybe Spanish works better? English though? If I could say what I want from this horrific day. Always and everything. That would be my son back. Love to this very moment, I’m neither in Denial nor would I claim Acceptance. I know the truth. Braxton Barks Bradford died. And if I had my way… “If I had my way, then surely you would be closer,” you sing to me.

I’ll be here to listen. I’ll learn how to dance. And to be quite honest, um, I “Feel Like Making Love.” After everything I’ve said today, what are the odds of that? Do I want to play Han Solo? Hell! We could have a movie night right here because, again, to go outside and do… what? My Ma took me to a restaurant once where they sang Happy… Oh No! But yes, I will be polite to our children. Is it sad? I have to say that. Virgil’s living here. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, as Somni 451 said. Unfortunately leaving… That led me here. But I love you, our kids. Me? I’ll B Home Virgil

947 Days Without B III, Day 388 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 065 ~ Thought’s More Valuable Than Flesh~

WillLeave a comment

You don’t want thinking slaves but working. And it’s why I don’t understand people at the Day Job wanting friendship. Flesh is more valuable than ideas, so why this rule. I figured I’d be better before this E-Day. “Thought’s More Valuable Than Flesh”

Monday, September 4, 2023

Tale 065 ~ Thought’s More Valuable Than Flesh~

Three-Hundredth And Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. Or have I finally… Well, you know what I want to say. Not wanting to see thirty-nine…

Friends are waiting. Braxton wasn’t my first fur baby, but a better friend, brother, son… There was none. On “my” Blackjack scale, B III was a twenty-one. Him dying… Well, let’s say the fact that I still exist is only because I wanted to keep him alive. And with it being 2023. I was thirty-six and now turning thirty-nine. There’s a battle within me. Madam, which is worse, his death or my Emergence. As much as I hate Emergence… Madam, add to that Existence and Extinction. E-Day! That’s part of the reason I’m talking to you now. I’m time traveling since today is Saturday, September 2, 2023. Last time? You know when E-Day is, and I haven’t heard from the Olds yet. And “my” friends…

Flesh and blood, Madam. Let’s leave the blood out of it. Hell with Braxton, as the song goes, “My love for you runs deeper than blood.” The measure of a man, the soul, my B.” But every day it seems that now I’m thinking about… Um, Japanese anime… Jitaku Keibiin. I was looking at that before I started talking to you today. Or anything to do with horny cheerleaders. I swear certain forms of entertainment make me idiotic and insanely bright. So that’s why I have such rules. You know the song The Banality of Evil? In the same voice, AHEM, My Stupidity Existing. Flesh is for when I’m done with using my brain. Ha-ha! Today, I’m trying not to think about E-day coming up.

Funding it anyway. Food, water, power, all “my” bills. Or they should be. The Olds. That’s the great fear, Madam. I think about the people who brought me into this world. Again, I ask which is worse, the ones that gave me life or the fact I gave one death. Braxton. What about Virgil? He needs things, too. So I’ll get out of bed AGAIN this Saturday afternoon and go “mow” the lawn. I’m trying to avoid humiliation. Whatever for? “Nothing really matters, anyone can see.” I put my flesh out there to prevent people from seeing what’s happening inside. My thoughts, a pretty piece of flesh (snickers) beats truth… Madam, there’s FEAR, RAGE, EVIL, DEPRESSION, STUPIDITY, Pandora’s… Will’s Box. Thought’s More Valuable Than Flesh

946 Days Without B III, Day 387 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 064 ~Braxton and V Security~

WillLeave a comment

There is no safe place, only safer. But when B was here. That’s when I was safe. B at the corner of the bed, staring through the bedroom door. But he can’t protect me from the next two weeks. Better to focus on E-Day for now. “Braxton and V Security”

Sunday, September 3, 2023

Tale 064 ~Braxton and V Security~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now… and you, ha, and you. You’re a worrywart at best. And a dead man at worst. Thirty-nine.

Now, that is the truth. Who knows? You could get lucky, considering the Day Job. Accidents, people’s general animosity, your anxiety… Hell! You’ll take anything at this point. I mean, have you seen the schedule? If this week doesn’t end in… I don’t know. Hmm. Or rather, you don’t. It’s still pretty early. And at the same time, you should have been up before now. It’s not like your critic cares for words like “Security Guard.” Now, say that in Japanese and see what comes up. Anyway, you’ve been wasting time. And now V. A week like this and B wouldn’t understand what’s happening either. He’d just be eating better. That’s all E-Day meant to him. Not Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Like these Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING When Pets Pass Away: A Helpful Guide to… by Emily McQuinn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 037 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They didn’t mean anything to me. And they won’t to you either. Except you will be changing number two for this week. You should alter number five since you have no money. But one, what have you been doing all this morning? Yeah, it hasn’t been to do anything with Braxton’s photo albums. Again, “Security Guard.” And two, with all these goals, at the end of the day, it always comes back to survival, existence, and breathing. Those days, Braxton would sit on the corner of the bed guarding the bedroom door. After a while, he would come back to check on me, then back to the door. I was his purpose. Today, you have Virgil and two bad weeks in coming. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Losing a Pet: Coping with the death of your beloved animal
  2. I WILL BE VERY “Lucky” Surviving This Thirty-Ninth E-Day, Welcome To Level 39
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 037 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Your focus, though, should be on getting through this first week. What were you expecting, some sort of earth-shattering idea? I came up with nothing. Uh, don’t touch it? That was the focus of my time. Pretty much. Well, there was being broke, bald, and, of course, the backyard. And Braxton, always Braxton. The two worst days in existence. They both begin with B’s —Braxton’s Death and Your Birth that has become (sigh) E-Day. Virgil has been a bit cuddly, but here’s doing that for him, not you. But V is a child. As a parent, you’re supposed to be here for him, not vice versa. Only Braxton was a brother, a bruiser. He knew security was more than Japanese animation. Braxton and V Security

945 Days Without B III, Day 386 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 063 ~ Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I go back and forth with what Braxton thought in his final moments. The most “comforting” being something like, “Daddy, why can’t I stay.” And three years later, his Dad is playing with his existence. Losing money on E-Day. Braxton’s Cashing Out

Saturday, September 2, 2023

Tale 063 ~ Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But how long can I keep saying that? When I’m existing like the Tiger King… Lunalesca

“I am never gonna financially recover from this.” When B III died, it didn’t matter. Lunalesca, I should have followed him. Point blank, period. That is us, Lunalesca, always and forever. We ride together, we die together. What’s one more broken promise, I ask, Lu? I’m becoming a member of the GOP. I waste cash on some horrible investments, ha. I bribe a “poor black child” with a 40oz and a bucket of chicken on his way to the poor house. Oh! Should it be video games and movies? On this coming E-Day, Dear Lunalesca? Hell! It’s not like I have money for anything else. Did I mention I’m becoming a Republican? Or, as they say, I am a “Real American” by hating foreign countries.

England, if we’re being specific. Sorry, Cherry. That money is a drop in the bucket. Compared to what I spent with the Japanese and Russians. I’m spending money on good? Uh! Why does anyone use money on Bitcoin, temporary emails, and a spanking new VPN? Speaking of spanking, I’ve got two things there. The first is Spankbang by way of X/Twitter. It’s always decent for some Japanese “anime,” if you know what I mean, Luna. Second, my almost thirty-nine behind will get spanked by the Olds, Lunalesca. I don’t know. These are confessions better left to Inspector Echo, hmm? But considering what I spent to keep this place afloat… I was going to call myself a piece of… whatever. But I hate toilet humor, literally.

And with that nasty chicken, I spent money on. And how sick I made myself sitting in the car, seeing how much money I lost in a single day. Once upon a time, it was steak and lobster with some fries for B. This year… the Hell if I know for Virgil and I, Lady Lu. Please! I have all the paperwork I was going over last night when I wanted to curse out GoDaddy. Ain’t that a word or words? Go Daddy? I hear those words from Braxton. Only go where my son? He had his Aunt’s ample cleavage, but he couldn’t stay. I don’t want to either, considering old money, criminal offenses, and the Olds. Sin City? Nope! Hell! Braxton’s Cashing Out, Virgil

944 Days Without B III, Day 385 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A chapter done… Or will be, come E-Day as we’re headed that way. I wish it could have been as simple as the end of a video game or a movie with mutant turtles. Nope! I never want to be as old as “my” grandma. But Braxton? “B A Storybook Virgil.”

Friday, September 1, 2023

Tale 062 ~B A Storybook Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Meaning that should I survive this coming E-Day. I’ll become the stuff of myth and legend.

Don’t forget about books. Um, I did yesterday. Kindle’s next challenge doesn’t come out until the 2nd. And until then? Well, there’s more dead fur babies. And a new audiobook. Hell! I remember when I was maybe seven and couldn’t dream of such things. I mean having money, of course. Here I am on the cusp of thirty-nine… Eww! The thought makes me wanna die. But I digress. When I was seven or thereabouts. And Sophia, I’ve told this story. I asked the question. “What the Hell is going on!” Talk about a humiliating E-Day. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Game might have made it better, but leave it to grandmas. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze didn’t help. I’m ungrateful.

I wanted a game back then. Now, if I could have all I ever wanted, that is a letter. B. Okay, let me be specific and use his “government” name, my son, Braxton Barks Bradford. But he’s something you can’t order off the DoorDash App. No more E-Day cash (sigh). Well, if you count Braxton’s Aunt. But we’ll get to her. Orders from unscrupulous types? And Hell, I’ve even been looking at OnlyFans. But those girls are getting quite annoying. I’d instead pay off Cherry, M Anime, the MILF… Stick with paying off foreign contacts. In case you’ve been wondering where I’ve been till 9:00. Not jerking off… buying Bitcoin. I’ve been thinking about the last “decent” E-Day. Braxton’s Aunt met him on E-Day ha-ha.

I’m sure she was here for other ones. And she even made a cake on Braxton’s birthday. It was the first time he ever said no to food. Well, there were his last days. An adopted grandma told me I should remember the good times. Braxton’s eyes were bigger than his stomach. And not his kidneys failing him. Did I mention I’m reading about grief? Always and forever, but I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. No! Thirty-Nine (shudders). Already, the writing is on the wall, literally. I’ve been getting messages from all over. Today, I noticed my Olds aren’t in texts. It’s been a month since I spoke to them… E-Day stories usually ended with Braxton. But now Virgil? B A Storybook Virgil

943 Days Without B III, Day 384 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My first “Happy…” NOPE! That word is not in the vocabulary, but good works well enough. E-Day is nothing but nightmares. But when Braxton was here… Hell! The third E-Day without him is coming up. Not that Virgil says anything. To B Remembered Virgil…

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Tale 061 ~To B Remembered Virgil~

942 Days Without B III, Day 383 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Well, we’re talking on Sunday, August 27, 2023. So you know about my Thursday. Sigh

I don’t think I’ve “worked” this hard… Well, since that week, I found out you were dying. I swear I’ve talked to the Man in the Mirror, Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo. Last again, B III? To my everlasting shame. But this week and the next… You know what’s coming? E-Day! I wish we could talk about the fence you guarded. Yeah, it’s been bothering me. Even now, I think I should put some more nails into it. Virgil’s been sniffing around. A way out, B? If only I had worked on all my other writing the way I’ve been working to endure the next couple of weeks. Your grandparents haven’t called or texted. Your aunt neither. Inevitable, I know. So, a question. Any room up there where you are.

The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven or Hell? You were/are a good boy, B. You remember that. Always and forever. But your Daddy isn’t getting into Heaven. And where I am now. Hot as it is, like one of the hoodies I wear, I miss your fur. What about sharing with you? Again, there’s E-Day —Emergence, Existence, Extinction. You didn’t bother remembering. Thank you. It’s the reason I miss your Aunt Carolina. Braxton, say hello sometime, please. Emerging from my bed as you stepped on my head was worth me trying, whatever. Existing, now I did that with you and your aunt or when I needed to protect you B III ha. Extinction, this week, next, I’m damn near forty but no only thirty-nine. Remember it, B.

As “I will remember you.” Listen to me about to sing some Sarah McLachlan, Braxton. Daddy can remember everyone else’s words but mine? There are memories and manuscripts, and do I go with mammaries or money? Movie nights? But you were such an old man when you met your Aunt Carolina. You met her on E-Day, remember that Little B? And she was here for a couple of mine and even one of your birthdays. Today is the first time I’ve remembered anything from that terrible day. It won’t last. But all my crying B. Remembering how I was born and how you died. And then there’s Virgil. A little Receiver of Memory if I spoke to him more often. If, To B Remembered Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 060 ~E-Day Fools Virgil, B~

WillLeave a comment

I meant to explain what E-Day is? Hell! I can’t explain why I get out of bed in the morning. I’d like to say for fifteen years, it was because Braxton needed me to. Or my Olds said so. There’s Virgil. He’s still alive, I exist. E-Day Fools Virgil, B.

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Tale 060 ~E-Day Fools Virgil, B~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Which means I don’t have to EVOLVE. Republicans haven’t. And you know what B stands for…

Emergence? Wait, that doesn’t start with a B. But instead of talking about Braxton’s death. Let me be a selfish “person” since it’s my day. Well, counting today, it will be in T-minus 9 days. Then again, I’m time-traveling. And I’ve already screwed up with my critic on being clear, concise, and making my case. The comedian is dead. I should be, but here goes…

What is E-Day? Again, let us begin with Emergence and why I won’t vote Republican. With women, I’m Pro-Choice. Let women do whatever they want. But with my Ma… sigh. Come E-Day, she should have done some thinking. And that’s an insult, I know, Inspector. Both me and my younger sister were C-sections. She wanted us here alive and well.

Existence for me, though… If I had my way… I would not recommend it. Like ever. I try my hardest not to say words like life or live. That is not what this is, Inspector. Questions such as What is my favorite movie, set of mammaries, type of music, etc., Echo. I couldn’t tell you any of it. But right above that line, “Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin'” from The Band Perry. There’s “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal” from Marina and The Diamonds, Teen Idle. And God, I know Inspector, turning thirty-nine. And what have I done? Or rather, why have I done nothing but exist, Inspector? My greatest accomplishment was my son Braxton. I thought I was being selfish today. Right?

Extinction though? Erasure, euthanasia… Hell! Evil! My boy should be here. And how dare I even think that he was the lucky one. I don’t disrespect my Ma, Little B, and how about myself. Uh. I disrespect myself all the time. But I don’t get off light Echo, not ever. I’m not a man of faith, but as the song goes, “Everybody wanna go to heaven. But nobody wants to die.” I want to Inspector. But this is Hell, and I am right where I belong. Only I cry out, “What’s my crime!” Which is worse? I was around seven or eight, asking, “What the Hell is going on?” Or killing my best friend at thirty-six?” Doesn’t matter; I’m still breathing. E-Day Fools Virgil, B

941 Days Without B III, Day 382 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will