Tag: Death

Meditation 073 ~AB Honor Roll Virgil~

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Thursday, September 12, 2024

Meditation 073 ~AB Honor Roll Virgil~

1320 Days Without B III, Day 761 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I am my father’s son. Though he would ask, “How Was Your Day?” Those days…

I shouldn’t have made it past those days, Braxton. I shouldn’t have made it past my 40th Emergence Day. And yet here we are. I know you don’t like me speaking like this, B III.

Should I go back to crying over you? Or what about thinking about your Aunt? How is Gabe doing, by the way? Is he wherever you are? For now, Braxton, that’s at the foot of the bed this Tuesday afternoon. It’s Tuesday, September 10, 2024, to be precise. So working… Braxton that has become “the great fear” since Emergence Day has come and gone. Sigh.

The manager asked me about Emergence Day. At least last year, there were cupcakes, B.

I hate Emergence Day, as always, but I like eating.

And while we’re on the subject of eating… “the great fear?” That’s a reference to The Road. I was the man, and you were my little boy. You were never starving… Okay, you might have had dirty water, but that was during that period I was intentionally starving myself. That’s not a fun way to die. I should stop now before I end up crying over you again. B III. There must be a simpler way of saying that money’s tight around here. My mouth

“All I know is the child is my warrant, and if he is not the word of God, then God never spoke.” ― The Road

Cannibalism? Yes, I’m still thinking about that book Meat by Joseph D’Lacey. It was a more visceral Tender Is The Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica. I’m not that hungry, B III.

Seriously, with what I’m reading now… Meat going in mouths…

Eww! That’s gross. Talking to you about such things… And I remember you, Braxton sitting on the floor as I tried to explain why you shouldn’t “have the stones” to “hump” your toys when your Aunt was around. Or to get all up in her yabbos. Your father’s son, indeed. We were both horn dogs. But we needed to be better. Braxton, you were better.

But here I am at forty… Well, you were around eighty, right? Anyway. I’m forty and trying to figure out what or how I will eat. I’m tearing myself apart bite by bite, I know.

School days were the worst, and that was before all the “problems.” And at the Day Job? To have better grades… AB Honor Roll Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 072 ~Virgil Ate. Braxton’s Fate~

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I’ve got steak in the fridge. A baked potato. Even a lobster tail. Was anything else missing… Ma’am. I hate going out for food, but I can waste big bucks buying it online. On big boobs. And do I need books on Cannibalism? “Virgil Ate. Braxton’s Fate”

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

Meditation 072 ~Virgil Ate. Braxton’s Fate~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Yes, Inspector, I see what day it is. But I’m no terrorist. And I’m not into Cannibalism either…

Tell that to the search bar. I’ve looked up terrorism. And earlier today, it was MEAT by Joseph D’Lacey. Hell! Seeing as how it’s Sunday, September 8, 2024. Why not preach, this is my body, this my blood or something. Why not remember Braxton passed on a Sunday afternoon like this? Am I ready to get back into mourning and grieving my little boy B.

Or am I a woman turning this into my “Emergence Month”? That was wrong, Inspector.

If anything, I’m not here to talk about 1/31, Emergence Day, or 9/11, Inspector Echo.

Today, if I’m lucky, I am on the eighth day of… denying myself self-fulfillment. Hmm.
I’m not messing with “my meat” despite the pictures I’ve been taking lately. I’m gross…

Thinking about more meat on the bone. Again, Eww! But if you want something humiliating, let’s talk about how I get food. I keep going back to Emergence Day 2024.

Echo, it was nothing special. I only had to see people twice. And the only one that really heard my voice was my Ma. If only it wasn’t so expensive because getting some fast food.

How many times have I been referred to as Ma’am? It’s one of the few things that make me feel like less of a man. I don’t pay all my bills. When’s the last time I showed any balls… other than “OF.” And I watched B III waste away. I feel so inadequate, Inspector. I hate talking about myself, really.

Now that ain’t true, Inspector. But who am I kidding? I’m filled with self-doubt. Always

But what else can I say? It’s either my boys, big Yabbos, or the bad things that come around one way or the other. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about as I waste today.

As I, too, waste away. I look at myself, and while I’m particularly proud of one part of my anatomy, it’s everything else. I don’t have a spine; I stick my foot in my mouth and as far as eating my heart out. You know what became of my heart. I’ll give myself a hand.

One is busy talking to you, and the other is usually down my pants, should I care to wear any. Things have to get done. But am I empty or full? Virgil Ate. Braxton’s Fate.

1319 Days Without B III, Day 760 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 070 ~Kisses Show A Working Tongue~

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It’s in his kiss. No! But B would love up his aunt. And V… I’ve cleaned up what has come out of his mouth many times. And as for me. I don’t remember what I said to that first girl. I can’t even order chicken at forty. “Kisses Show A Working Tongue.”

Monday, September 9, 2024

Meditation 070 ~Kisses Show A Working Tongue~

Three-Hundredth And Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Like me breathing after Emergence Day. Hell! I shouldn’t be after Braxton. Or Emergence Day Numero Cero.

I would rather kiss my furry son’s head one more time than draw my first breath. One necessitated the other, Madam. But at least I would have something to do with my mouth other than bawl about my boy, blame myself for everything, or BE STUPID. Madam, next to being Braxton’s end and my birth, I can’t stand being STUPID. It never ends, I’m afraid.

Even at forty? Well, I’m not quite there yet. I’m speaking to you on Tuesday, September 3, 2024. So, Emergence Day has yet to happen. Like I said, by the time you read this, I might not be breathing. I’d blame my Olds. But this is my existence. My existence…

Madam, I never asked for this life. I’d trade it all for a simple kiss.

Is that an Emergence Day wish? Last Monday night, I made a wish to avoid humiliation. I texted that because speaking… Anything that isn’t about my Braxton’s life… passing.

Anything that’s about something other than broads. Or anything that doesn’t involve me sounding STUPID. It’s not my strong suit. To open my mouth has never been a good thing, Madam.

How hard is it to say, “Yes, I would like the eight-piece fried chicken and a three-piece chicken fingers snack, please?” My mouth has much better uses, Madam. But saying Happy B-Word Day/Emergence Day… is not among them, Madam. Nope!

But again, a kiss… Do you want to know a secret, Madam? My first kiss? I got that. But I didn’t get a kiss during my “first time.” Well, uh…

I’m not The 40-Year-Old-Virgin, thankfully. I swear, sometimes I wonder who knows more about me. My lost boy or the Internet. The movie popped up, so I could watch that for Emergence Day and be thankful for the second-greatest miracle during my existence. A woman…

Madam, I was/am a father, and a girl made the mistake of thinking I was a man of worth for a night. And a few other girls here or there over forty years. But almost none when I had to look after Braxton. When was the last time I had a kiss, a kind hug that got kinda dirty… Back when I was a Smooth Operator. I feel stupid-er at forty. I’ll shut up because Kisses Show A Working Tongue.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1317 Days Without B III, Day 758 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 069 ~Braxton And Virgil, “NEW”~

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E-Day has come and gone. Now, that wasn’t so scary, was it? I got an extra steak and lobster, the sheets are still clean, and the world didn’t end. There’s always hope. My boys don’t need it. They know I’ll survive. 39… 40. Braxton And Virgil, “NEW.”

Sunday, September 8, 2024

Meditation 069 ~Braxton And Virgil, “NEW”~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… So, you are still alive? Obviously. A little green around the gills. Less green in your wallet…

Oh, that’s right. Yesterday was Emergence Day. And as the song goes, “I’m Still Here.”

Well, you are. The only thing we have in common is that we’re both without Braxton. Are you going to start that again, grieving and mourning for your son? Sooner or later? But for now, shall we recap E-Day? Yes, I know you’re sleepy and feeling sick. But less scared…

I woke up around 7:00 AM after a dreamless sleep. Indifference? Again, let’s focus on me and not what led to Braxton’s passing. “Today is all about you.” Well, yesterday. So I wake up and start with what I have to do… A conversation with Lady Lu, Virgil’s outside time, a typical day. And then bam! What? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Meat, Joseph D’Lacey (Something Else?)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failure is nothing new. You’re looking at forty years of it. But I was thinking more of keeping this blog up and running. $100.00! Funny, the company never mentioned that.

So much for that fancy breakfast and lunch I wanted to buy. But I still had food. Barely any syrup, but okay. Then came the Olds. The great fear. My Old Man texted Happy… whatever. Ma called. But that wasn’t too bad. My sister said nothing. It’s her birthday today. Remember to text her and PRAY she says nothing about Emergence Day. Good Luck… Once again, you’re still alive. Only is that a blessing or a curse… Still, asking that?

Braxton knew. Virgil knows. Hell, Braxton knows you won’t forget him or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Freshman Experience Harem University
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

As you can see, you finished another story, MEAT. Nearly the rest of the day was dedicated to meat in one way or another. First, there was all the cash I lost while trying to be a writer. So what did I do? Write about “my meat,” but no one’s paying $100 to see this:

https://onlyfans.com/1260583535/willyswants

Then there was Red Lobster by way of DoorDash… Seriously, how does a place selling lobster forget about it? But I got two steaks and lobster eventually. You’re not starving.

And then it was back to my “man meat.” You call yourself a man? Maybe once with a beautiful woman.

Or when I was, Dad.

JSS, I survived Emergence Day again. Your boys knew. They know. Braxton And Virgil, “NEW”

1316 Days Without B III, Day 757 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

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Honestly, I thought I would go nuts with fiction… I could share what I’m working on. But M Anime and Cherry would probably “unalive” me. And my Olds? So far, so good. By the time you see this, I’ll be Level 40. Sadly, “Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day”

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
Here’s your first and only WARNING! I did a somewhat family-friendly version of Emergence Day on Thursday, September 5, 2024. Meditation 066 ~Will, B, Happy? Virgil~. Today, Friday, September 6, 2024, won’t be that. A world without my boys. Am I happy at Level Forty? Let’s Go!

All in the family. Sisters? I’m more Christian Grey than Ethan. Brunettes or Blondes. Well… I’m equal opportunity when it comes to women. Near or far, whether short or tall, skinny Minnie or BBW. I want to thank them all. It’s good to know that I’m alive, even at forty.

Emergence Day. Is it Emergence Day? How better to wake up this morning? Day 14610.
Didn’t Tyrion Lannister talk about a girl’s mouth wrapped around his cock. And I’m not dead yet. But two, three, how many girls are in my bed. One’s beneath the covers, which is good enough. “If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Only “There’s a lot of pretty girls in this city.” Only I’m not supposed to be working today. Or this week? That’s the dream. isn’t it? To have a profession, you don’t need a vacation from. Something you would do for free. Even on Emergence Day. Yet here I am.

Here they are. I need to eat to sleep. And I have hobbies. Reading, writing, and a few games that I like. I’m a man of many hats: writer, director, actor, producer, photographer, talent scout. I should also take up art before AI takes those jobs. But enough about work…

What do I want to eat? Yes, I mean food. If we’re talking about women…

Well, I would be here forever to value each breath, beat… blowjob. Living, not existing.

What makes me happy? I can speak about Fifty Shades of Grey and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days, Nights, and Dawn. But I can also talk about the first three of the Red Rising Series. To live for more. Books? I want to see more days where something gets blown. Boobs.

Better believe me when I say it’s breasts! Anything in the bedroom for sure, Lunalesca.

Better yet, the balls to say it out loud. I figured our chat would be far more sexual. I know. Hell! Emergence Day is a celebration of life I wish for billions and babes. Bedrest… Honesty? Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day.

1315 Days Without B III, Day 756 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 067 ~B There Tomorrow, Virgil~

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Well, I hope my boys have better things to do. Braxton, rest… in peace. Not cool. Virgil acts up when I leave, so he’ll be in B’s room. As for me, I set up for E-Day. The bunker, a bunch of food, bedroom hopes… Without B There Tomorrow, Virgil.

Friday, September 6, 2024

Meditation 067 ~B There Tomorrow, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As I was telling my son yesterday. I’m not happy. Ever?

If I talk to the Man In The Mirror, I’ll feel something. You can count that as a win… But today? There’ll be no book review. And what’s this forty-year-old’s story. Well nearly… We’ll see.

Battle Stations! It’s not supposed to be this way, but here we are… without Braxton.

“Today is all about you.” Me, Me, Me. But yes, Virgil is here as well. I have yet to do nearly anything to clean the house. I’m not expecting company. Well, food delivery. I could go all “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” and hire a “special friend.” Seriously? Would I ever.

And what is it with me and films with Steve Carell? I mentioned The 40-Year-Old Virgin the other day. Hell! When was my last time with a woman? If I am riding out the end.

Sophia, it’s not an apocalypse. It’s only Emergence Day. One more for the books, right?

Not the beeps, boops, and bills I’ll have to read through tomorrow. There was a big one yesterday? $100.00! That was barely enough to cover four 12 packs of soda, some odds and ends. I had street tacos and wings. And let us not forget an E-Day cake, Lady Sophia.

Today, there’ll be more. More baked goods. I’ll have a beautiful woman cut my hair.

There’s been a bunch of spam lately. People I’ve never heard of… wanting to be friends or offer financial planning. How do I know? The phone rings once, and they never call back again, Sophia. But my Olds? Please, not today or E-Day. They are the greatest fear I know.

Worse than me talking to Lady Lunalesca. Sadly, she drew the short straw this year. Tomorrow or, more likely, today, I’ll have to tell her how I wish my Emergence Day was. I won’t hear from Braxton’s Aunt because she knows how I feel about the day. M Anime has her life. And Cherry will probably have me reading her latest work. I take it.

It’ll beat talking about a ton of Yabbos. Yelling, moaning, and screaming in adult poses… Your boy might post a few pictures in his Emergence Day suit for OnlyFans… for $100 a pop. Nobody’s paying that! But it would be a story or something. Fortieth E-Day B There Tomorrow, Virgil.

1314 Days Without B III, Day 755 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 066 ~Will, B, Happy? Virgil~

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When’s the last time I’ve said “It Was a Good Day?” “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.” A man without gratitude. One who doesn’t count his blessings. A man… not even at forty, which I’ll be very soon. I’d rather find my son again. Will, B, Happy? Virgil

Thursday, September 5, 2024

Meditation 066 ~Will, B, Happy? Virgil~

1313 Days Without B III, Day 754 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Today, I’m going to tell you about one, Braxton. But before I do this, please understand. Happiness is not my nature. Even when you were here. Also, let’s think about breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Really? Your way of timekeeping. A reminder of our shared moments.

“When I wake up in the morning, love. And the sunlight hurts my eyes,” plays on the radio. I see you staring back at me. You’re not sitting on my head or guarding the door.

We’re not back-to-back. You lick my nose, so of course, you must be hungry. But I have a little bit of money, so I order breakfast. The only people we’ll see today are delivery people and Daddy’s special friends… I let you play outside as I sip a cappuccino. When the vittles arrive, I will fix you a little buffet, and you will think it’s Christmas. But it’s Emergence Day.

“And in this moment, I am happy.” Happy to be…

Alive! With You! Older! But Braxton, “You know I’m a big boy, and big boys have desires,” seriously. Hey! You like your Aunt’s Yabbos. But first, we need food, and you need a mom. And Mexican food is a good idea. And getting it on with the maid… As I said, “special friends.” We did share with you until our movie time… Netflix and Chill?

Would you rather I lock you up or close the door for “adult time.” If I’m forty, you would be nineteen. Still, I don’t need my puppy seeing me and a pretty brunette. Your mom?

Well, no. But you know what it means when you hear Sade’s Smooth Operator playing. My cue for my privacy…

Anyway. Woke her up after fun… she didn’t hesitate to call Big Will the top gun. Did I do any writing today since I’m busy ripping off Ice Cube? “It Was A Good Day,” B.

However, it’s not over yet. Your Aunt wants to come over and spend what’s left of the day with us. You know I go all out for dinner. Steak and lobster. I actually looked up whether dogs can have lobster. Of course, you get another plate for yourself as your Aunt, and I watch movies. Cherry and M Anime send “gifts.” Those I don’t share.

Your Aunt leaves, but there’s a knock. Braxton, I think I just met my wife.

Somehow. Will, B, Happy? Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 065 ~Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…~

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Eff E-Day… I started this Monday, August 26, 2024. Now it’s Tuesday, and… Is this week getting any better? I feel sick. Is that the sensation of getting older? An energy shot? Being skeevy? I’m not sleeping, so I can shout Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

Meditation 065 ~Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I love my boy, my son, my Braxton. I am trying with Virgil. Honest, Inspector. But today, friend…

It’s Monday, August 26, 2024. And I can’t remember; have I cried for Braxton, Inspector? I’ve been saying for these two weeks, besides, STAY ALIVE! I’m going to be selfish.

Inspector? Today, I am AFRAID. Not of forgetting my boy or finding Virgil making messes. Today, I FEAR E-Day. E-Day stands for Emergence, Existence, and Extinction, Echo. Ha-Ha! You think the Locusts from Gears of War were bad. Wait until you get a load of me. I tell myself this when I see my face in the mirror, dear Inspector.

The horror, the horror of this almost forty-year-old man, Echo. I effing hate myself today. Every day, really. But I wish I’d never emerged. I can’t stand existence. And extinction…

If Virgil wasn’t here today…

I’d be effing the bedsheets. But E-Day’s arrival demands I clean. Crispy, not crusty sheets.

Eww! What? Do you find the mention of some “romantic” stories gross? For two weeks…

Backyard Dungeon 13 has its moments. But you know that’s not what I’m talking about.

Inspector, if I haven’t been fighting everything about E-Day, you know what I’ve been watching. And the more I’ve been figuring out, the more I’ve found each day. I’d be driving Dirty Diana crazy. You remember her before my son passed, then… Uh, I couldn’t.

There’s Braxton’s spirit, specter… I don’t know. But now you all share in my skeeviness. When I’m not effing myself over E-Day, I want something, someone pretty to look at.

Being forty… plenty of effing.

Almost. But I hated thirty-nine, seventeen, and even seven. But here and now, there’s uh?

  1. Madoka Araki
  2. Tsubaki and Sakura Miyajima
  3. Reika and Reina Kurashiki
  4. Ayana Fujisawa
  5. Mikura Suzuki
  6. Asumi Hisato
  7. Sawa
  8. Tomoko
  9. Natsuno
  10. NETORARE

I thought that I would make one of those 64-brackets or something. And then I saw my Day Job schedule… Anything to keep my greatest FEAR at bay. My father is the originator of E-Day Day One. It’s good that I’m learning so much Japanese because what will my old man say to his bum of a son? I got lucky. I love Braxton. I don’t hate Virgil, Inspector. E-Day… Fearing my father, future, finding more… Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…

1312 Days Without B III, Day 753 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 063 ~ Don’t Hate Meeting, Fear Knowing~

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With all I do, I can close my eyes and sleep. Not rest but sleep. It’s facing myself in the morning, which is the hardest part. Almost… Eww? To meet new people with such thoughts. And I fear I’ll never be one for JOY. Don’t Hate Meeting, Fear Knowing

Monday, September 2, 2024

Meditation 063 ~ Don’t Hate Meeting, Fear Knowing~

Three-Hundredth And Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Like seeing who I am in Virgil’s eyes every morning. Or looking in the mirror. Braxton’s eyes…

I thought “we” agreed not to talk about him this week. Besides this week’s battle cry of STAY ALIVE! I should begin the day with the song “All About You.” Because for the next six days… Hell! I should be thrilled. With my Olds, I could be seeing Braxton again…

Please! It’s not easy attending a funeral every day. I mean mine and not… Anyway… Madam, let me avoid politics. Hint: Arlington National Cemetery. But to count myself among the ranks of the dead. Not the honored dead but the undead. And to see so many people happy. So what’s wrong with being happy? It pays better than Fear. Depression.

But there is still time to be thinking about getting paid. But should I survive…

I don’t hate being a writer, but I fear what I’ll write. Literally, the story of my existence, Madam. People don’t hate meeting me? But they fear knowing that this is who I am, sigh.

Fearful, Freaky, Fiendish, and effed up by my grief. Uh, Forlorn? Forgetful? How I wish.

I wish I could forget Emergence Day (E-Day). If my Olds didn’t hate meeting me. Madam, they surely fear the monster they made. I hate meeting their expectations and fear knowing what they intend to do about it. I’ll be forty on Emergence Day, Madam.

Today, I don’t Fear knowing Fear. But I hate to meet it everywhere, and so does everyone else. So why bother getting to know me at all? I’m always depressed.

I’m not successful because I’m not happy. Could I be happy? If I were successful and had simoleons raining down. Or several million fans. That’s what set me off last night. There’s a decent young brother with four million fans.

I wish I could be so silly or smart. There’s the mom that plays music with baby toys. Or the one that takes music and movies and makes skits. There are reactors, comedians… OnlyFans girls I’d like to meet and know in a biblical way

Sans clothing… The man that I meet every morning. Can I be a father again? A good friend. A fool who believes that I have a future. Yes, I can’t help but hate myself and fear what I’ll become soon. With Yabbos or yowling grief? Don’t Hate Meeting, Fear Knowing.

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1310 Days Without B III, Day 751 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 062 ~Endings B Through V~

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The world was created in 6 days. And the 7th? God rested. My Ma said, “I got this.” My Old Man said, “WTF.” Some exes said, “Well, I effed up effing him.” B’s Aunt, Cherry, M Anime, “wow.” B, “I’ll try.” V, “I’m not a good boy?” “Endings B Through V”

Sunday, September 1, 2024

Meditation 062 ~Endings B Through V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re not looking too good. I would say you look like The Walking Dead, but… Complimentary.

You’ll do yourself a “favor” and not talk about Braxton today. You know how your son passed all too well. You know the pain will be here forever. And while your love for him will be, always and forever, as for yourself? You didn’t want to see forty… Or seven.

6, 7, 8? A, W, X, Y, Z? You need to remember. But with age? And yes, you woke up with a splitting headache this morning. You would prefer not to wake up at all. Such an Existence Day Wish…

And after everything your Ma did, you c-section you. Your kingdom for a Terminator, Ha! Terminator 2, not 1. Because you love your Ma. And your Olds love you. It’s why you’re sitting here. A bum. Loving, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 13, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you had a dollar for every time you ignored this list. MORE? If you had one for every time you thought you might die. MORE? If you had one for yearning for, THE END.

Hell! No wonder every Existence Day meal resembles that of a death row inmate’s fever dream. You put more work into your endings than beginnings. Unless we’re talking about your novels. You would have liked the last story you wrote to be about Braxton. Seriously?

Don’t worry about B! This week, you’re going to be busy. Worry about yourself, PLEASE!

How does it end? How will you meet your end? You have seven whole days to figure something out. But you realize that you won’t accomplish these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Meat, Joseph D’Lacey (Something Else?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Take, for example, number 1. You won’t finish MEAT by Joseph D’Lacey. You couldn’t stand to finish reading “Tale 062 – B A Storybook Virgil.” I wrote that on Friday, September 1, 2023. So last year, sigh. And considering Emergence, Existence, and Extinction Day, you might not get to read anything else. So Cannibalism… It still beats what you’re writing. M Anime wouldn’t like it. Cherry won’t read it. And B III’s Aunt? Who knows.

What will you do before E-Day? You have no control over your Existence. The Day Job has its schedules, and then there are your Olds. Things aren’t better getting older.

Forty is much too old. What else can I say? I forgot to live? You’re thirty-nine? Endings B Through V

1309 Days Without B III, Day 750 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will