Tag: Trust

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

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Do or do not, there is no try. Tried being a Dad. B III made it to 15. V hasn’t been 5 for a whole month. Tried being a boyfriend. M Anime left as I couldn’t afford two-legged babies. I would have tried. Tried like me? Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s it, or that’s it? I’m not a Beatle, though I’ve seen plenty flying around.

Beetles, bucks, and nice boobs, rather Yabbos. It’s hard to reject them, resist them, and remember them all. Braxton knows I tried… Or Lord knows I tried, —my Sweet Lord.

Love, I like the song, but don’t care much for the entity. I tried that, my father, high school, and while Braxton lay dying. And that’s how I feel today. Like I’m dying right here.

That’s not cool to tell you, is it? We could go around each other all day asking if love makes you feel dead or gets you through the day, “awake and alive.” Ah, Mr. Gabriel.

As in Peter Gabriel… As opposed to other “Silly Love Songs.” You’ve had enough, love?

I’m trying to give more. “I wish it from myself.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Songbird? The original Fleetwood Mac or Santana to Brittany from Glee? You know that makes me feel a particular kind of way, love. If anything gets me out of “Loser Like Me” ideas, it’s a lady like you and one of your lady friends. Too many harem books, my love?

You’ll be the only mother of my children. And yes, we should try for more. But if I ever get Jacob, Grayson, Eddie, or Ethan’s coin… All the haremlit. And I’m a good Dad. Sigh.

That, of course, goes for my furry boys as well, Braxton and Virgil. How can I be better for them? Virgil deserves better? And Braxton definitely knows I can be better. Real good. The best. Like I’m in “The Warriors.”

And this is where the rubber meets the road, my love. I have to learn to love myself. And that’s not me being negative again. It’s a fact. But I have an honest-to-Braxton question about that, my love. Where do I begin? Not only “Once In A Lifetime,” I ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?” “When Will My Life Begin?” You know, I’m trying… No, ever better beloved.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” Life is a series of tries, my love. But sometimes you can only try once and then… Well, we’re here. I have one wife. Always and forever.

That’s you. I’m telling the man in the mirror, that “I will TRY to FIX YOU.” Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die (1998)

1752 Days Without B III, Day 1193 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

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It’s day-to-day for me. Is it the silence or the noise that scares me more? The alarm clock, 2-V crying, and everyone asking me why I wasn’t playing DJ today. Or B III’s loss, my sleeping, and the augmenting of reality… Braxton, A NOISY Virgil.

Monday, November 17, 2025

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not just noise, not the sniff, sniff of my nose, or in other words, breathing. Not nothing or never.

But your son. Though right now, to you at least, I sound like the Can You Hear Me Now” guy from Verizon. That was one of the great things about us, Dad. You talk a lot about how Virgil has my eyes but our ears. Scary, sleepy, satisfied, whatever we heard, everything and then some. And then there was the silence. We were safe, Daddy.

Honestly, how do you feel after today? We’re talking over “The Weeknd” ha-ha because today, well… What could I tell you that you would believe? Steve, Bob Marely, and I.

I want to say that “every little thing is gonna be alright.” “Everything is gonna be okay,” like Blue’s Clues.

I remember Steve from Blue’s Clues. Pokémon. I would sit in your lap as you played video games. The wonders of the glow box. You even did the Dad thing and said it would rot my brain when you left it on when you went somewhere. The bad place? Negativity.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I won’t add to that noise, Daddy. If anything, one of the best sounds in the world spent in front of the glow box was you, me, and my Favorite Girl watching movies together. Dad?

Next to you, hearing how I would call to you without a sound. It was your breathing, the beat of your heart. The being you, not just with me but with her. Second Favorite person…

Yeah, that wasn’t family. But I hope you hear when I say this. My father…

You are my person, my human, my Dad, definitely my Favorite Boy. And today Dad…

You’re still breathing, you’re alive. That’s the noise I long to hear on days like this one, Dad. Is it better when Sia sings it? “Alive?” It’s not like you got to listen to it at the bad place, right? As you would say, that’s not negativity; it’s simply the truth. And you are here, Dad. But if I were there in that bad place with you, I’m sure that my barking would have stopped anyone from asking you anything to hurt you. And Virgil wants to cover one of your ears as you have an AirPod in the other. There’s noise and what’s worth listening to. And what is that? Braxton, A NOISY Virgil

“You’re a special person to the universe in ways I don’t think you know.”
― Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton

“A hideous noise of shouting rose to the heavens as young men fought and fell under the iron hand of Mars.”
From ― The Aeneid

1751 Days Without B III, Day 1192 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

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I crawled out of bed, I walked Virgil, I ran to feed him, and I was standing in front of my phone while I… Do I still have an OnlyFans for that? Anyway, I have no idea where I’m going. The story of my life. While Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs.

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… However, I was reminded that Katy Perry and others paid $27 million to take a ride.

Thank you @illyashojaei. If spending three minutes makes Katy an astronaut, then I’m a gynecologist. Not that I’ll be seeing M Anime’s lady parts in the flesh anytime soon.

Honestly, I haven’t thought about “my ex” much. And instead of dreaming about Anime’s yabbos or Mars Bitches, red rocks Yay yayee! Too much YouTube this morning, my Dear Lady Lunalesca. If it helps, I’m not in bed and that’s what I’ve been dreaming about, ha.

Oh, and somebody was talking about having a movie marathon of “Stand by Me,” “The Long Walk,” and “The Running Man.” Stephen King, goddamit! I’m such a potty mouth today.

I hate being late, my dog/son Braxton, “my Day Job,” and getting away from Depression.

“Don’t Take It Personal” Lunalesca.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Just One Of Dem Days” And “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” But most importantly…

Lunalesca, I’m stuck. FEAR! Sometimes it’s the most sinful, or the STUPIDEST, and at others it’s the simplistic. I’ve had the whole week off, and you know what I’ve been thinking about at the Day Job? The speaker. If I play DJ again, there’s pressure, and if I don’t, then guess what? It means I effed up and somebody else does. So what happens next?

Humiliations Galore! And it’s like the fifth of November all over again with that girl.

Richards Lives! So does Virgil. And even my Braxton, in a heavenly sort of existence.

Lunalesca, I can’t just be a body. I must continue The Long Walk. Always, forever…

Seriously, I feel like The Running Man. And what’s my crime? What’s my prize?

Lunalesca? Friendship? Virgil and I are still working on that. It’s nothing like B III, okay.

I keep walking, but there is no finish line. Braxton and I got the wrong ending. I would have gladly sat down for him. But then again, Futurama “Jurassic Bark.” I’d say it broke my heart. I didn’t know heartbreak until Braxton’s… Which is why I took M Anime’s betrayal…

And I feel like I’m always running. Only then to ask myself why I’m tired. I gave Braxton his wings, and at least Virgil knows what he’s running from. As for myself, Dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m wanking, walking, and whining. Winning? Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs

1749 Days Without B III, Day 1190 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 134 ~The I’s, Braxton, Virgil~

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The I’s have it that I should wake up in the morning. MAGA is seeing to it that I don’t have a vote anymore. I prefer listening to my boys, B and V, anyway. But being Chihuahuas, they’d get deported. For now, I see family. “The I’s, Braxton, Virgil.”

Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Journey 134 ~The I’s, Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And yes, the clock does read 9:47 AM. If only Braxton were here to sit on my head.

Have I mentioned Virgil has been creeping up to the pillow during the night? But what got me up this morning besides some BLONDE’S yabbos, an Asian Lady BEETLE, and worrying about BUCKS. My boys’ eyes. Braxton looks at me, “Through Heaven’s Eyes” these days. Virgil’s eyes are confusing, but are surrounded by Braxton’s coloring.

Honestly, my eyes… One more reason I’m still here and not “Laughing With God,” Echo.

As Regina Spektor sings, “the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes.” Braxton is always watching, and Virgil. We should both close our eyes to avoid seeing the messes we’ve made. And yet there are the magic glasses and hitting the mattress to dream our lives away. How to spin this?

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, first, there’s the augmentation of reality or AI, from movies to music and manuscripts. If treated as the tool it should be, it could do good. I mean, every day I get to put B and V together with some pretty girl. But then there’s a digital Johnny Sins.

Speaking of books, at least I’m still reading Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton. I’m not being negative, Inspector, but only telling the truth. M Anime wants that life and children.

Sometime in January, she’s marrying a Cuban man, and she’ll be his third wife. Uh, he still has the first two. Personally, if I had the money, I’d choose the harem lifestyle. My dream, E.

We’ll get to that. Being awake though… These magic glasses…

“I Think To Myself,” as if I’m “Top Choice Clique,” that I can change the world to fit my narrative. I might as well join MAGA and the Cracker Hats. But FDT! I at least want to help people. I believe I will make the world better as soon as I reach for these glasses.

Seriously, though, it’s not wrong to tell the truth either. So I would rather be sleeping right this second. Every footstep I take is like being on The Long Walk. Every time my fingers hit the keys, I imagine I’m a prisoner/slave in 1993’s “Posse: The Revenge of Jesse Lee.”

“Let That Hammer Fall.” Ha-ha, the only time I’m not lost to the music. Eyes closed. The I’s, Braxton, Virgil.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1746 Days Without B III, Day 1187 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

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I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

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A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

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I remember my son, B, for living his best life and then the worst day of mine. All the bad things he did. Nothing compares to Sunday, January 31, 2021. How’s V bad? I have to clean his bed, then he’s sleeping in mine. “Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys”

Saturday, November 8, 2025

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not Martin Lawrence or Will Smith. Me. Don’t I wish. And what did I wish for?

Yesterday, the words were, “I wish I had never been born.” That statement still stands.

And speaking of standing, I don’t want to do much more of that either. You don’t get paid to stand around. Is that what I was doing at my Day Job? I didn’t get any hours next week. I had to double-check to ensure that someone else was not doing just as badly. Ok, how MAGA of me. I sound like a damn Cracker Hat. Someone has to lose Lunalesca.

Today it feels like me. And what about my boys? Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s sleeping, Lu.

And that’s bad. I wish I could tell you that I’m worse. 150-Word Depression, Lunalesca.

I have to make up for yesterday. With that said…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feeling bad means that at some point, you were “Feeling Good” in a Nina Simone, George Michael sort of way. I’m sitting here trying to remember the last good day.

Lunalesca, I lack the day but the feeling. I was at the food truck yesterday, and when the lady saw me, she smiled and immediately asked, “You want the fried shrimp? It beats being called Ma’am at any and all drive-thrus. That’s not me being negative, it’s the truth and nothing more. With nothing but some wings and shrimp in the fridge, I’ll head out.

A burger, maybe, or how about some tacos? I haven’t spent my grocery money, Lunalesca. Groceries, see, I can say it better than the Orange Turd owning the White House.

My boys are better men than him and all of MAGA. And Virgil has more sense than I give him credit for… Messing up his bed so he can come in here and sleep next to me. I mean, that is a plan. And I could use one of those, or “I could really use a wish right now,” Lunalesca. And there was a time I wanted to fly “Airplanes.” But being a bad boy.

I write of dirty, depraved, and disgusting worlds… And I’m pretty proud of it, Lunalesca.

Better to get the bad out of me than to let it fester into… Well, things the Cracker Hats do. I raised two bad boys into good men, well, doggos: me, Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys.

1742 Days Without B III, Day 1183 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

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Was Slowpoke a Slowpoke? How old was I when Pokémon came around? Hell, I was way too old to be singing to Braxton “Together Forever.” He was my little Pokémon. And his brother, Virgil? I’m still the old man here. “Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Or I’m crazy—split personalities and the like. There was the time before my boy, after, and now.

Three different men… Or more. And yet I wonder why I’m so sleepy, why “I feel STUPID,” and slow in a variety of ways. You can ask the Visual Lady at the Day Job. It’s why I was late, “Coming Home,” to Braxton’s little brother Virgil. He’s pretty bored, E.

And me? “I’ve been Takin’ Care Of Business.” I had another customer, Inspector Echo.

Only if I keep this up, I’ll end up like some MAGA Cracker Hat, P. Diddy, or some other ilk. No, Inspector, I have morals, a mission statement, as it were, and making money is a wonderful thing. So why am I all “Carmen Queasy?” Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

There is so much FEAR. I FEAR I’m too slow.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But I made it out of school, didn’t I? And every day I’m learning more. I read every single day. “I’m So Thankful” that I got to keep my reading streak. No, I don’t consider reading Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic” a sin. The harem aspect reminds me of M Anime.

And speaking of her and my son Braxton, I had all the time in the world. Braxton reached the ripe old age of fifteen. And the stories that M Anime set into motion could set me for life if I could add them to my side hustle. I mean, it is November. NaNoWriMo? Ah, memories.

Then there’s Virgil. I have another chance to be a DogDad. Another opportunity to pass on the teaching Inspector Echo.

I sound like the Shidoshi Tanaka from the movie Bloodsport. That’s what living is, Echo.

That’s not negativity, it is a fact of life: one big arena or Kumite. And I’ll be the victor E.

That almost became Virgil’s middle name. Virgil Victor. Instead, it’s Virgil Vivi for FF IX. You remember Vivi, the Black Mage. That’s how I’ve been feeling with my side hustle.

What and not like Ben-Hur/Forty-One (Cue Galley Drums). Again, I’m not being negative; I am being factual. It comes with trying on a bunch of hats. Not MAGA! Never MAGA!

The Dems kicked MAGA Ass last night! But anyway, I was thinking about this quote from Red Dawn. I think too much. But I’m a man. Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.

“And as we remember… please let them forget, O Lord… so they can be little again.”
Danny, Red Dawn (1984)

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1739 Days Without B III, Day 1180 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

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I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

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Did that just happen? My boy, breathing his last. That song from the Foo Fighters, playing on my phone at the Day Job? And nowadays the big question is this. Is that AI? If you see Braxton and Virgil together at any point, yes. To B Real Virgil.

Monday, November 3, 2025

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you? You’re not you when you’re hungry. Snickers? I remember one Halloween… Snickers, M&M’s, Twix… Everything in between.

Don’t worry, you were doing right by me. “Protecting” me… I wish you had let me protect food like that more often. Then, of course, came Thanksgiving. Grandma shared more.

Speaking of sharing, you would do a lot of that as well in November. Good times. Lying under the table as you worked on something called NaNoWriMo. Books. My Books.

Daddy, I’m really there, aren’t I? “I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere, but you can’t catch me now.” Olivia Rodrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now?” Tomorrow, today’s playlist with whatever happens at the bad place. I don’t know whether I envy Virgil or pity him, Dad.

On one paw, he’s waiting for you, while I’m with you always. But here’s there, fur and all, your son.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And I am your son, always and forever. That’s what you’ve been thinking about, Daddy.

What makes me and Virgil real. We’re “The Boys.” You’ve never watched the show, but Virgil and I are that. Realer and truer, “so warm and true” that we beat out M Anime for sure. As you say, my father, that’s not negativity but simply stating a fact. That happened.

But no matter what happened between then and now, when it comes to me and my brother, “It’s Only Love.” A Heather Nova song? Again, you find me in everything.

Daddy, didn’t you make two whole playlists for me? I remember when I wasn’t barking, sometimes you would sing to me. I am my father’s son. I learned well enough.

Even with no opposable thumbs, which brings us here. My barks and your fingers. Hell, call me your better nature, your mother effin’ Conscience. I know, Dad, I know, watch my words—the Consequences of being your son, the Consequences of being a good man.

Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?
Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island

Because you’re not MAGA! You won’t be a Cracker Hat. You have knowledge and truth.

We don’t erase, evict, or eviscerate a “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” that’s our history.

I’m not the son of a Preacher Man. And people who knew me would sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead!” Well…

Anyway, your plans on bringing me back… Daddy, just be real. To B Real Virgil.

“You have been touched by great sorrow. You understand its many aspects. It can bring a form of comfort or torture. It can only exist where there is some amount of hope, and sorrow is the evidence that something precious was lost from the world.”
Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacob

“Wherever Fate may lead us, whether on or backward, let us follow.”
― The Aeneid

1737 Days Without B III, Day 1178 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son