Tag: Trust

Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

WillLeave a comment

Secret Agent Man, when really all I want to do is put my head under the covers and hide for… eternity? But Braxton beat me to it nearly five years ago. On the 31st. So what has me wanting to hide today? Trump, trouble, and twins. “Codename B, 002 V.”

Wednesday, January 14, 2026

Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But I have vomited… Yet. I’ve been very, very STUPID. I’ve seen a woman’s well, several women’s vagains.

Now that was awesome. And I wish I could say “Everything Is Awesome.” But Inspector?

I haven’t vomited yet. And I’m feeling quite sick. It’s of my own doing, of course. Hell, saying “of course” makes me sicker. I mentioned I finished reading Braxton’s novel…

And that makes me feel STUPID? My Dear Inspector Echo, you can take your pick.

Another day at the Day Job, perhaps. Only today did I realize MAGA Cracker Hats surround me. And yet I’m still the Village Idiot when it comes to those people. You can take what I did while sitting here a few minutes ago. That didn’t help me at all, Echo. Getting “Down With The Sickness?” And this is yet one more day Braxton is gone.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

January is going to be one mother effing month, Inspector. If I survive today, tomorrow…

Hell, if I get to the 18th… Braxton knows what MAGA will do on Monday. And I’ll never mention M Anime again after the 24th. The 5-month breakup Anniversary, Inspector.

Honestly, how do I fix my mouth to lie like that? Or my fingers to type out such and such.

“Anxiety, keep on trying me
I feel it quietly, tryna silence me.”
Anxiety ‧ Doechii

“It’s not over
Because a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you’re the only one.”
Daughtry

Anxiety is killing me right now, but ok, let’s say I make it to the 25th, what comes next, hmm? The end of the month? The day I committed the greatest crime. My Braxton died.

And not a day goes by that I wish I hadn’t joined him. You want a song, my Dear Echo.

He Lives In You. Always.

And that is what makes me ashamed of the things I do. Braxton was/is the Pete McVries to my Ray Garraty. And for once, I am talking about the movie over the book. Braxton reminds me a bit of my “big sister.” She told me, “You can’t build a strip club next to a school or something to that effect. Quite true. But honestly, I’m like “The Running Man.”

Inspector, I’m not escaping, I can’t get away. There “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.”

Inspector? Who I am and who I want to be is the distance between a woman’s Yabbos. Seriously, on a good day, it’s from her mouth, to her yabbos, to her… I should stop. Echo. Eww. Codename B, 002 V

1809 Days Without B III, Day 1250 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 196 ~Virgil, There’ll B Times~

WillLeave a comment

Tick tock. TikTok. When I wake up, it’s usually to the song “Easy Street. My breathing is anything but. If anyone’s reading, you and they know. I wonder whether she knows? Busy with the new hubby? B’s on the Rainbow Bridge. “Virgil, There’ll B Times”

Tuesday, January 13, 2026

Journey 196 ~Virgil, There’ll B Times~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “The World Will Know!” The funny papers. A sex tape? New York Times Bestseller.

When I write one. Eventually. Can Erotica be considered? Did I ask that honestly, love?

If anything, I rather it be for one of B III’s books. 2-V’s? We’re way too early for that one. And what about my life story? I have to start living it—The Shawshank Redemption.

“Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.”
The Shawshank Redemption

Seriously, every day I tell myself I’m going to start, but I find myself right back here, minus my Braxton. And if Virgil isn’t here… Well, things I will do. That I will create, eww, but since he is here and I have you, my beautiful wife. Again, I find myself, like Cody Rhodes, asking, So, what do you want to talk about?” I have the time. Well, no, but I bought a “clock factory.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I don’t think that’s what they mean by buying time. But there’s never time. Darling…

Why do you think I want to stay so busy? My hands look, love, and lose. And today I was looking at next week and the week after… “You know that’s a game that I hate to lose.” Love? And so I’ve been thinking more and more about what it would be like to “Drift Away.” Not this Saturday, but the next is the 24th, and after the 31st. It’s as if Sunday is trying to escape my wrath. And I’m telling myself that after the 24th (5th Month Anniversary), I’ll never speak on that subject again. And the 31st? I’m going to be crying about Braxton forever, my love.

It’s going to be a hard two weeks. “Pictures/Pussy On My Phone,” thank you, Wheeler Walker Jr. And my dear Braxton… That son of mine is bigger than my heart and other things… No wonder my heart was broken when he passed—effing time, beloved.

Memories. And no, I’m not a fan of CATS. I do mean the musical; the fur buddies are alright by me. And one day, I’ll have time, unless you’ve seen how MAGA has been acting lately. AI or Trump is going to kill us all. So again I look to my special drawer, my armory.

I want to protect my family—you, my woman, our wonderful children, and B’s work. I’m still alive. “Times Like These.” Virgil, There’ll B Times

1808 Days Without B III, Day 1249 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The Rainbow Connection? How about the theme for Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road? There are no “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” at the Day Job. THEY do everything to make that place worse. The place that ki… took my son. But, “That’ll B Hue, Virgil”

Monday, January 12, 2026

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I know better than to ask, “Did you have a good day. Another Day? No Day But Today?

Alive? That’s the last thing you want to be, my father. It’s like talking to MAGA. You ask whether Biden won. THEY say Biden was president. Someone asks, “Are you okay? Are you alive?” What do you answer? You’d rather be with me. And am I not alive? I’m here, right now, as always, Dad. I’m sitting at the corner of your bed on a sad Monday afternoon, guarding the door. In case you were wondering why my little brother Virgil is sleeping dead center, ha-ha. He knows his place. But where are you, Dad? Really. One foot in the grave, your eyes on the rainbow, and your ass to the fire. Language, I know, I know. But your tears, Dad. As clear as then…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The day. The only day that matters to you… Well, not really? Not this year anyway. If anything, I have M Anime to take a bit of the heat off—bad choice of barks. But you know, if you were going through Hell, I would be right there with you. And I am Daddy? Yes.

The day I finally saw all the colors of the rainbow is the day you saw black, white, and gray. The “Colors of the Wind.” I saw you through the evils of MAGA the first time around, and now you have Virgil. And you’ll always have me. Well, not yesterday. Augmenting reality? That video? The first time I got an actual funeral. Didn’t like it.

Daddy, sure, The Rainbow Bridge.

But it’s you, today. Some days, all you see is red. There is far too much orange in the world, you tell me. You wish you weren’t so yellow. You feel a lot of green and worry about it when it comes to you and Virgil. You’re constantly blue. But not enough to fly away. And for that, I’m grateful. And Indigo, Violet. Unless you’re thinking about the game on the glow box “Indigo Prophecy,” or either of the Violets that would have you kicking me out of the room for a while. No, our royal colors are tan, beige, and black. Dad, that brings me to my point today. Whatever color… We truly see each other, always and forever. See! That’ll B Hue, Virgil

“As fast as Braxton could run, he couldn’t outrun time; as high as he could jump, it only brought him closer to Heaven. B was on the way up.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and Silent Loss

“Do you not see what great a weight of darkness the blind night of the body sheds on minds?”
Aeneid

1807 Days Without B III, Day 1248 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I spent a Friday night crying about a Saturday afternoon because, unfortunately for me, it will lead to a Sunday Morning. We aren’t close to Easter. Even if we were, I’m not a Christian, just lazy accountable. Now my son… “Braxton’s Off Days Virgil.”

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… How? Did I create some all-powerful energy shot? Hell, can we agree on no more “five-hours?”

All I know is I was exhausted yesterday. And don’t forget starving. Then the rain.

Honestly, that’s the only reason I didn’t stop at the food truck. Don’t they sell burgers as well? Braxton would love them being so close by. Anyway, I had to support a billion-dollar corporation, so McDonald’s it is. An hour or so later, I’m conked out, only to have to read about how I failed my son, I miss wrestling, and the storm won’t let up a tiny bit, Lunalesca. Virgil’s been inside forever… But before that, he crapped outside the bedroom. So he’s been in time-out. And speaking of time-out, after taking a shower.

Seriously! That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight. Losing my religion,” Luna.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday was my first breakdown day of the new year. A Friday? Sunday is always the worst when it comes to the week. One exception is The Walking Dead… Maybe.

However, the worst months of the year are January, August, and September. Why is that?

January is when Braxton died. And in this particular January, M Anime (My Ex) is getting married, if she isn’t already. And on the 24th, will I ever speak of her ever again? I don’t know, but in the words of Teen Idle, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” SIGH

Lunalesca, I’m not sure when I met M Anime, but she left Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I started ruining Virgil’s life on Saturday, August 13, 2022. And then September…

“Wake Me Up When September Ends…” So cut to me being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Lying on the floor in a bath towel, feeling like Tommy Pickles bottle less.

And that was a Friday night. Was it Braxton, that burger, or some Bourica’s yabbos?

Braxton was my rock or “The Rock” because “It Doesn’t Matter!” That’s his barking, Lu.

Mr. No Days Off. Any “I watch my youngest son, and it helps to pass the time.” That would be Braxton’s little brother, Virgil. He’s been pacing forever and a day waiting for the rain to end. And what about the pain? Why do I relate to The Long Walk, The Running Man, The Mill, etc.? No days off. Live? Die? Braxton’s Off Days Virgil

1805 Days Without B III, Day 1246 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 190 ~Virgil The Red, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t have to go outside to face humiliation. I can do all that and more from the comfort of “home.” Bed? Then why don’t I ever feel rested? There “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked,” or cowardly. How about the broke? To pillage? Virgil The Red, Braxton

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Journey 190 ~Virgil The Red, Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But not name-wise. I mean, the title sounds a bit Viking-ish. But I don’t call V, B… often.

And whatever does that mean exactly? I don’t call Virgil, Braxton. Braxton is gone, Echo.

But sometime today, I have to ask for time off so I can grieve for my son. Grieve indeed, yeah right, Echo. The 31st falls on a Saturday, so why even bother? For simplicity’s sake:

  1. I only recreate the day to the best of my ability. Barbecue, crying, etc.
  2. I’ll never face ACCEPTANCE
  3. This will be the fifth year of Braxton’s passing.

So, five years since I wrote Braxton’s book, “My Turn To B III.” Talk about humiliation, Inspector Echo. I’ve been reading my “work,” and I can see why it ain’t selling. Hell, Virgil is probably thinking, if that’s how he’ll be remembered. Then choose immortality.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because Echo, his face would be red to be read like that. Pet Loss, Erotica, Haremlit, and my bank account. But worse of all would be my search history. I’m an evil man, dear Echo.

Smooth Criminal, I am not. If only I had the Magic Glasses, which, according to Goodreads, was my longest book of the year at 517 pages. 8,829 pages read in 52 books. I expected I’d do better. And they can’t all be “Seven Days In June” by Tia Williams, ha.

But anyway, my search history… Where do I begin? Did you see the cover of Journey 189 ~ That’ll B WHITE Virgil~? What if I told you it was supposed to be so much worse? BJ?

But I turned red regardless.

How could I tell? “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man…” And not a member of Bone Thugs-n-Harmony. Anyway, besides that cover, before I forget, “Of course.” I was reading B’s book yesterday. And noticed how many times I used the word “Of course” on one page. Like Robin Scherbatsky saying the phrase “But, Um.” Ok, so I told Dear Future Wife about a fantasy I had from TWD, and I was able to manifest, manipulate, augment…

Everyone needs to STOP! Hell, why not hand the planet over to machines and computers?

“I got bills to pay. I got mouths to feed.” And that brings on a whole other red alert, Echo.

RAGE. Virus? Savage? Fight For NY? Virgil The Red, Braxton

1802 Days Without B III, Day 1243 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 189 ~That’ll B WHITE Virgil~

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Can a wedding dress be sexy? I know people are getting married this year. This month. My Ex… So, I wanted a Hunger Games: Catching Fire motif. Everyone, cheering her name as we ride a chariot in black. But living in America. “That’ll B WHITE Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Journey 189 ~That’ll B WHITE Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is love still allowed in our country, My Love?” For more than white people. History.

Aren’t I all political, hmm? No, not really. I simply saw the date. And here I am up in our bed with you, sipping on an energy drink that reminds me of one of those canned drinks from the 80’s, to uh now. And did you know that MTV was deleted, discarded, or in other words, dead? America, America… I’m not opening up a shop in “Santa Fe,” mi amor.

RENT, really? I could talk about the love of my children, Braxton, Virgil, and all the two-legged crumb snatchers of ours. Eff, I miss Braxton! I’m keeping Virgil alive. Then there’s you, my love. Or am I lying? I have been having a particular TWD fantasy lately between The Governor, Maggie, and Negan. I swear…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Anything not to think about Sunday, August 24, 2025. Or worse fantasies about all of the women of The Walking Dead universe. I swear, as Queen Ramonda said in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. “I think one day artificial intelligence is going to kill us all.” Not that I need to wait for it, like when I read about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality, ha.

I’m only a “man,” a black man at that. And in America… Only I wasn’t worried about the cops today. I need to stop lying. Love, you have no idea, Nobody Knows It But Me.

“Being afraid all of the time.” Okay, so Lt. Reginald Barclay III knows. Seriously B?

Anyway, I was thinking about being ALONE, AUGUST, and ANXIETY.

“Never felt so lonely, then you came along,” as the song goes. Silent Hill? I’d love to see your hills right now… Uh, your Yabbos. In a blue suit with a red tie, wrapped in the transgenic flag, Heather from Silent Hill, Maggie Greene, etc. Please stop me, love, sigh.

Then I thought about you with someone else, and you know my CUCK fantasies, love. Well, I thought about August again, and suddenly I went all Alpha. You’re mine, beloved.

So I don’t feel like watching or sharing you? I’m a dominant, even a sadist at times, but no, love. I thought of you in your wedding dress, and January 24th, coming up soon, baby.

You in white? Braxton in Heaven? That’ll B WHITE Virgil

1801 Days Without B III, Day 1242 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Red light? Yellow? Green? Road or bedroom? I prefer Meat Loaf. I will do anything for love but… B III would be pissed sleeping in his own room. Once? Forever. If you could only see the way she loves me. V won’t meet HER. Color Me Braxton, Virgil

Monday, January 5, 2026

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t you recognize me? My brown, beige, but you tell the Glow Boxes tan sometimes—the color of Braxton.

And when did I start speaking in third person? The moment when I saw black, faded to it, became molded by it. No, I’m not talking about you, Dad. And I didn’t mean to sound like Bane either. And haven’t I always seen black, white, and gray? But this black…

Honestly, don’t go crying on me, Daddy. You can’t help it? You were even listening to sad songs at “The Bad Place.” Was it me, you, or that lady you call M Anime? Anyway Daddy.

You’ve been thinking about her a lot. Mostly red, yellow, and green. And Meatloaf Dad. You didn’t like the food. But the music. And I enjoyed both. But the color black, Daddy. It is your favorite, and I saw it…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean, I REALLY saw it before my world burst into color. Maybe it is me, since you’re still crying imagining the Rainbow Bridge. Or is it the Rainbow Road from Mario Kart, my father? I remember sitting on your lap as you played. It was better than car rides.

Seriously, though, those weren’t the red, yellow, and green lights you’ve been thinking about when it comes to M Anime… Eww! But if she could make you… No, not Happy.

Believe it or not, I was Happy in my life. “Believe It or Not,” I’m walking on air. I know. Dad, I am my father’s son when it comes to music. But today I know you hear me, but I need you to see, Daddy.

Like the dream you had a few nights ago. “Dark Angel?” That show was WAY before my time. Only you dreamt you were trapped somewhere, drowning, and through the barred window, you saw the Transgenics Flag flying—the black, red, and white with a dove at the center from the show. And you’re trying to SEE what it meant. Darkness, Rage, and Light. Or Rest, Love, and Ladies… Um eww! You know me, Dad, the best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken. Or maybe it’s running from the blackness, “The Running Man,” and don’t humans wear white for weddings… You’re permitting me to bark at ONE of your former girlfriends. Huh! If she could see… If you… Color Me Braxton, Virgil.

“I want to know what life was like once.”
― Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Here are tears for things, and mortal sorrows touch the mind.”
― The Aeneid

1800 Days Without B III, Day 1241 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What woke me up? I wish I could say it wasn’t Whiteout Survival. And while I was waiting for that ass whuppin, I looked at some Yabbos. As the song goes, “Feels like the First Time.” Almost “Like A Virgin.” That would be my Ex. But The B Times Virgil

Saturday, January 3, 2026

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I don’t read the news. I make the news. A regular “Bruce Almighty” over here.

And what was with that New York accent? Am I still sad that I missed the ball drop, Lu? I’m upset that my boy is still gone. And I need to remember to take some time off for B III.

Hell, why not the whole week, considering my ex-girlfriend is getting married on the 24th… I don’t know that. M Anime could be married right now, but our five-month breakup?

I should be really damn upset that I wasted the morning on Whiteout Survival. Yes, Lady Lunalesca, Virgil, and Braxton have had their walk. It’s still macabre and effing weird to say that about Braxton. Walking around with his ashes like the priests of old.

Speaking of priests, I haven’t jerked off this year… Yet…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t in these streets. And Ain’t Nobody loves me better. I thought M Anime would… Biblically, ha! And I have to remind myself that it’s Virgil sleeping against my foot and not Braxton. Once again, it’s creepy I’m reading about dead fur buddies while he naps on me. And in this case, it’s my dead furry son. I’m reading about Lunalesca. But I hate him being gone more than I hate reading about it, so that’s saying something. Like, what time is it? It’s time for me to go forging. No, that was yesterday. But I was full of BS writing to Lady Sophia, the sky was filled with rain, and Virgil finds FEAR like me. Effing everywhere eek.

Like Chronomentrophobia. This very second, all I’m doing is wasting time. No, not like that, Lady Lunalesca. Have you ever seen the movie “The Little Death”? I haven’t either, Lunalesca. But that title sums up my B. But anyway, Lu, there’s this monologue that goes:

“Because she’s softer than you. She’s quieter than you. She doesn’t yell at me. She doesn’t call me an idiot or tell me to shut up all the time. She listens to me. She’s nice to me. She doesn’t make me feel like the only thing stopping her from being happy… is me.”
― Phil

I want you to focus on the quieter. That’s what’s getting to me at the start of the new year. There’s no news of a new me. It’s all effing NOISE! Why do you think I do everything to drown it out? How many times have I listened to Succubus Lord or Satan’s Sorority Girls?

M Anime’s ruffled wedding dress, Virgil’s whining, and me being worrisome. And I’m supposed to care about the world. FDT! But… The B Times Virgil

“War. War never changes.”
Fallout

1798 Days Without B III, Day 1239 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 183 ~2026, Virgil, Will B~

WillLeave a comment

Happy New Year! Fifteen years wasn’t enough, and forty-one years have been far too much. And here I am, well, Virgil and I facing 2026 in a few hours. I’m not happy. And I’m not afraid… Well, any more than usual. So what’s next? 2026, Virgil, Will B.

Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Journey 183 ~2026, Virgil, Will B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I’m not talking about being back on the energy shots and getting lunch at the food truck.

I swear, Inspector, that place is getting worse and worse. Speaking of which, there’s 2026.

Happy New Year! Happy Effing New Year, Inspector. There’s a few hours until, It’s Time!

Effing Mariah Carey! Yes, I’m effing horny! How else would I spend this last day?

Humiliations Galore! Okay, “got me feelin’ like a prisoner. Like a stranger in a no named town.” “No Easy Way Out,” of this this year, yon mortal coil, or the yearning to be with my loves, Braxton, M Anime, hell, the man in the effing mirror. But wait, some Inspector.

So I didn’t shower, but I still went to the Day Job. Eww! There was humiliation and boredom. I walked Virgil and had lunch. I tried not to jerk off.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

It’s getting harder… Again, Eww! With MAGA and the Cracker Hats, it’s incredible we aren’t all criminal masterminds. FDT! But I have a particular set of skills. Or rather, I’m learning the tips of the trade. The Augmentation of Reality. The Magic Effing Glasses, E.

But you won’t catch me with a pair of 2016 shades. Today I was seeing M Anime’s wedding. She said she was planning her nuptials for January. I remember the end, Echo…

Sunday, January 31, 2021. My boy passed. My Braxton? Another sin, Inspector? Tears?

There’ve been a few, but that was out of boredom. If anything, I don’t need a drink as I feel I’m going to throw up anyway. Damn energy shot. Or should I blame the shrimp?

How’s that for a New Year’s resolution? Or more books. I only read fifty, Inspector.

According to Goodreads, Kindle, the algorithm, whatever. Inspector! Shame correct? First, M Anime’s naughty effing fantasies didn’t count and got mixed with the list. Sigh…

So two more books before midnight? But how about twelve wishes? The ritual? Dear Echo.

If pressed here and now… I can’t bring Braxton back. And Virgil can’t be him. M Anime isn’t coming back. I could finally be discovered. I can study up on “technology.” I could join Braxton any day. Uh, that’s not good. I could find someone better than M Anime. Uh Ravishment/Sadism Fantasies… Not effing likely! That’s only six. I expect more from 2026… Happy New Year! 2026, Virgil, Will B

1795 Days Without B III, Day 1236 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Days Go By,” still, I think of you as the song goes. Days I wish I’d never seen… E-Day forty-one years ago, Jan 31st four years ago, today, but no. Aug 24th wins this year. The worst day ever. B III never met HER, nor did 2-V. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

Tuesday, December 30, 2025

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys? Isn’t that always the question? Braxton was here before. Um, us…

As in “Physical.” I’m not Olivia Newton-John old. As in “passin’, passin’ away.” “The Crossroads? Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? Yeah, that’s more my speed. But the music?

Honestly, lover, it’s not blowing up the skies, the bullets flying, or my old bones cracking that I’m trying to block out right now. Well, more so December 31st… New Year’s Eve. The ticking of the damn clock. You know I almost said cock, ha! And I’m sure I said cuck today. But either at the old Day Job or my dream job. Either would fit. Am I right?

But I don’t want to talk about today. And never tomorrow. I want to write a letter this year. But I ain’t got time for that. No, sorry, my love.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And sadly, I hated the whole year. Hell, I have every day “documented.” But which day is the most hated? Why not loved? I love you, our children, and I am pretty fond of Virgil.

So no, I don’t hate him. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate me for not walking him today or catching the sunset. Did you feel how cold it was today? I should really know, love.

Yesterday, I left a comment about ICE and the Ninth Circle of Hell. They betray everyone, while I only betrayed my firstborn son. It’s about to be five years on January 31st, and I couldn’t save my Braxton. ACCEPTANCE isn’t in my vocabulary. But unfortunately, like MAGA and the Cracker Hats, there is always HATE.

And if I HATE one day out of this whole Braxton forsaken year, it’s honestly…

Sunday, August 24, 2025, at approximately 6:00 AM. It’s always a “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” my love. My “Endless Love.” I’m “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” Seriously?

Like I am every single year. Why? Because every one of them was supposed to be the last beloved. Ever since I was “Seventeen.” And you know I wish I’d been younger. I wish I’d never been… But I’m here—forty-one years, a harem, two furry boys. B does count.

But on that “Sunday Morning,” when you said what you said… Who’d I hate more? You, me, or even Braxton for making me stay to say goodbye to another year? Whatever. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

1794 Days Without B III, Day 1235 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will