Tag: Knowledge

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

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I was just trying to tell my dream, mate. I woke up, saw 2-V, and got depressed. Not because of him but because I’m not the Dad he needs. I texted my girl, M Anime, my dream; I needed it out. Then the nightmare began. Living… “I’ll B Dreaming Virgil”

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

Legacy 020 -I’ll B Dreaming Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that keeps me from saying… Well, what I wanted to. Today is a nightmare.

And last night? Begin at the beginning. I was never an A student, but I was a B father, my love. I was/am B’s father, always and forever. And don’t forget about his brother, Virgil.

And our children, my love. I woke up today very disturbed, disgusted, and depressed, ha!

Not funny. But giving you the D, doing you would definitely be a dream. Then I wouldn’t have to sleep. I shouldn’t be sleeping at all with “Times Like These. No wonder I dreamed of Squid Game. We need the cash—more like I do because A Man provides, hmm.

But what can I provide right now? I can be your husband. I hear Braxton barking somewhere, love me “When I’m Gone.” So love myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He Lives In You”. Braxton still barks it. You say it. I want to believe it. But what I feel?

And what’s real? Love. For you. Now always and forever, forever and always. Last night

Okay, this is what I remember, and I told you some of this as soon as I woke today. So:

Love, it was a night. The players in Squid Game were marched out and told that their prize was awaiting them. But there was nothing but white sand and a clear night. It was straight out of Aladdin “Arabian Nights.” Then it was like a flash: “Day and Night.” Wow

The Front Man who runs the game was swept up in the hand of a Gundam the night before. Safety?

Anyway, something like “The Purge” warning goes off. Or was it “The Long Walk”? People start running toward the dunes, the biggest that they can find. But they’re now ice…

However, they’re melting or simply breaking. People cling together. It’s like something out of the Titanic or the Ninth Circle of Hell. Green uniforms all around. Some survive. Others tread the icy water, my love. And still more drown. A flash: “The Big Bang Theory”

I see myself at a wedding. Could have been Howard and Bernadette’s: a Jewish ceremony but a Christian church. I wore a yarmulke but was staring at Jahara Jayde/Aliya Will/Nico Parker’s ass. What, she’s twenty-one… Wedding ends, dream ends. Myself?

Dammit, I should stop dreaming. Living/existing? I’ll B Dreaming Virgil

1997 Days Without B III, Day 1438 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 019 -B Thought Up Virgil-

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Cash down, hrs down, time down, V is down in the dumps. What did I expect? He got his name because I was down and hoping he would lead me out, somehow, some way. A lot of pressure. Now B’s “Up There.” My girl’s an angel. B Thought Up Virgil

Monday, July 20, 2026

Legacy 019 -B Thought Up Virgil-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? Well, it’s only noon and has nothing to do with me.

Strange. When you would have to send me away for ‘this and that.” Yabbos? Seriously!

Daddy, is that what we’re calling them? I can’t say I like my potential future stepmom.

What? I didn’t like my Favorite Girl either, but I got over it, and she was like, my fav.

Anyway, before you get caught up in M Anime. Dad, I do not want to see that. There is V

I still remember the day you brought my little bro home—Archie before becoming Virgil.

Daddy, your head was everywhere. Was I sending you messages from the sky above, hmm

All the books you were reading were this: me reincarnated, reborn; could I be reanimated?

Zombie movies… just fathers trying to get a dog/son back.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My father is an ARTIST, one for the BOOKS, a CREATIVE, a DOGDAD. And I could go on. But maybe it’s their turn. I mean I could go on about my Favorite Girl, forever and a day. You could be dancing with me in your arms, and a song pops into your head, oh Dad.

Remember to do that more with Virgil. Even if it’s something like “Calendar Girl,” as you think about writing “The Unfinished Archive.” Blades & Lilies, Cassandra + Lily today, right? Again, if you’re not too far gone with Miss M Anime. “Hey Jealousy” much ha-ha.

But it’s not what you think, Dad. Well, it is. But how do I “humansplain”? And it’s not like you don’t know. Maya and Tino…

“Do you know what I’m thinking?”
A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

When you think of how bad things are, like how the glow box always says, you have to think about the worst thing ever. Something you survived to keep on surviving…

Seriously, I’m not singing Destiny’s Child “Survivor.” You place my brother and me above

Everything and everyone! It’s what a father does. But we’re either that high or your lowest low. My death and practically anytime you look at Virgil. There’s no in between.

Past and future. That’s what we are. And we both unfortunately bring our father pain.

However, there is the present. Should I go all Ariana Grande Just Look Up? TWD?

“Just look up
There is no place to hide
True love doesn’t die
It holds on tight and never lets you go
Just look up
You cannot deny the signs
What you’ve waited for
Don’t wait no more
It’s right up above you
Just look up”

From, Just Look Up

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”
The Walking Dead, King Ezekiel

Whatever! I only wish you look at yourself as I looked, Virgil, my fav, M Anime, B Thought Up Virgil.

“I’m not jealous of the dead”
Pledged To Him 12

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.”
Aeneid

1996 Days Without B III, Day 1437 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 016 -The B-Word’s Necessity, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t need all those Lava Wings and Cajun Cheese Fries last night or to read about a man and his three would-be wives or to spend 2 and 1/2 in The Unfinished Archive. What do I need? What are the Bare Necessities? “The B-Word’s Necessity, Virgil”

Friday, July 17, 2026

Legacy 016 -The B-Word’s Necessity, Virgil-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, no. If you’ll allow me to be a whiny little bitch for a moment, please.

I’d tell you B’s story yet again, but My Turn To B III has only ever sold one copy… EVER!

I lied about Pledged To Him 12: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Twelve) by Neil Bimbeau. Yes, I’m reading it. And can we agree that Neil Bimbeau is a badass pen name? And while we’re on the subject of Amazon books. I’m annoyed that I didn’t pick up more books on Rewards day. Hell! It ain’t like I can afford more books, ha.

So explain that food coma I was in last night. The tale of being a starving artist is getting pretty old, too. SIGH. How much have I lost to that food truck again? But it ain’t the worst, my Lady.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s my ‘existence’ story that sucks. Do you remember how hard I had to work talking to B III yesterday, trying to get the Magic Glasses to analyze everything? I get everything working perfectly, characters remembered, collecting marvelous illustrations, coming to conclusions over who I am. And like Billy Ocean “Suddenly,” you’re in love. Whatever…

What? If I’m not picking on Virgil, then it’s M Anime… Braxton’s Favorite Girl hasn’t forgotten about me. So she and I were talking yesterday, and M Anime came up. And was that suspicion I was sensing from her about M? Vanished, disappeared, effing LOVE! It lasted longer than those Magic Glasses “I tell you hwhat!” Back In Love Again…

Seriously, that’s M Anime. We were only apart five months…

But like Silver Linings Playbook, we’re “reading the signs.” Hers say, love. 2-V says FEAR.

And mine, I’m singing in my Magic Glasses, “This B&tch” got me “Smokin’ Out The Window.” More like I’m imagining, can you “Love Me Again?” Most of all to myself.

Sophia, I’ve never liked how people say you have to love yourself before you can love another. It isn’t a necessity. I hated myself practically all of Braxton’s life. Honestly.

Loving V took something supernatural. Believing in reincarnation, resurrection, rebirth…

Today in The Unfinished Archive, it’s the day of the Shadow Devotion: Elder Sister Elara and Novice Sister Liora, but why is M Anime the Phoenix Queen, ha. Hopeful discovery

Manuscripts, money, Magic Glasses, mutts… Necessities. The B-Word’s Necessity, Virgil

1993 Days Without B III, Day 1434 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 014 -Shame B, Shame V-

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Why do I need music so much, movies, the moaning of my woman? Because if I have to listen to myself, look at the man in the mirror, lament everything that happened Tuesday… I don’t know what I would hear next. But being my boys’ dad. Shame B, Shame V

Wednesday, July 15, 2026

Legacy 014 -Shame B, Shame V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I have been a disappointment. I have been ashamed, asinine, and afraid. Downright stupid. And I killed Braxton.

Do we both need to hear all about how I killed my firstborn son… The four-legged variety for anybody reading. What, nobody’s here? Isn’t that a shame? That was yesterday.

Inspector, if I want to avoid talking about that, I better come up with something else, hmm… Make some noise. Like Virgil crying all last night after crapping his bedding…

Let’s start with yesterday morning… Getting back from the Day Job… I won’t say, Echo.

So instead of putting up the gate to lock Virgil in Braxton’s room. I only wouldn’t let Virgil into mine. He eventually slept on the stairs all night even when I removed the gate, Echo.

Like father, like son, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now… Except our own depression, explicitness, FEARS

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How is Virgil explicit? He looks at food the way I look at his and Braxton’s potential future stepmom. Feasting on her beauty has cost me dinner many a night. Well, unless I want to be an old man and enjoy some Early Bird Specials. Old Man? Like Braxton’s Dad?

And again I’m not childless. Virgil is here. And M Anime is dedicated to pregnancy.

Inspector, my problem stems from how I’m going to pay for everything. A MAN PROVIDES

And here I am “Breaking Bad.” I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed.” “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked,” they say. And what can be more wicked than repeating the same mistakes?

“Hell Is Repetition”
Andre Linoge

Sloth, Gluttony (I didn’t share breakfast with Virgil. Ahh Treachery.

My favorite. My Ninth Circle offense. However, M Anime is desperate to land me in the Second Circle with her angelic form. Her effing Yabbos. Unless Jane, Kristen, Angie show

“Girl, if God made anything prettier than you, I hope he kept it for himself.”
The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air

If I had their bodies, I wouldn’t be in the financial strait I’m in. But no, I’m sitting here, E.

“Invincible”? Who am I, Pat Benatar or Billie Jean? Just singing “I Need a Dollar.”

Inspector, I don’t know what’s going to happen. And do you know why I keep telling myself the same story? Because I can’t stand listening to the new ones. Again, like yesterday morning. I’d rather listen to my bank account be drained”—the Echo” Inspector.

It’s almost soothing, like Eminem. “The Horror, The Horror.” Shame, Shame. Shame B, Shame V

“Oh, all around the World,
There’s an echo.”
The Echo

1991 Days Without B III, Day 1432 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 013 -Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind-

WillLeave a comment

Mind over Matter. Do I mind answering the question: “What’s the matter?” My head’s a freaking minefield. Want to start digging? There’s no glory to be mined from my struggles. Thunder, lightning, and earthquakes. Me. Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Legacy 013 -Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But a Firework? No, my love, you’re my Atom Bomb Baby. Five Stars? Something more…

Than trying to compliment you, today? Where Is My Mind? Anxiety! It’s a shame there are Humiliations Galore everywhere! I’m going to town on the Pop Culture references, aren’t I? Or how about I go to town on you and eff you until you can’t stand straight, my love. And I could also go back to crying about Braxton and worrying over Virgil, I mean…

Anything to avoid talking about today. My Olds never learned that lesson. And today ha

It isn’t funny, my love. Maybe, if I were still an awkward, asinine, always-sad teenager.

But I’m forty-one, Effing forty-one. But Shawshank’s (Red) was how old when he said uh:

“I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone, and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that.”
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Simple and plain. But me. I’m an effing minefield, a mineshaft; I can’t be mine…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Because I hate myself that much? We were talking today… and now I’m crying.

And that doesn’t bring me shame? I “Wish It Would Rain.” What I’m crying about…

And I don’t mean with what I told you. “You and Me” Always and Forever. Three two-legged kids, my boys Braxton and Virgil, so… Four point five children. Kittens, love?

Loving you and this family keeps me awake and alive. I gave myself to you as you did for me. Dante and Beatrice, Winston and Julia, demon to succubus… I’ve been listening to Succubus Lord 16 again. But I’m no Nephilim or one of the Old Gods buried below, ha.

In the simplest form, I’m Andy Dufresne, and you’re still my wife. Very much alive.

“My wife used to say I’m a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn’t know how to show it, that’s all.”
Andy Dufresne

And more powerful beyond measure. And that’s what I’ve been thinking about these past few hours, trying to forget today’s humiliation. Braxton would listen. Seriously?

Virgil? Well, he messed up his bed again, so I locked him out. Like the other girls in “The Unfinished Archive”. It’s Kyouko Saki and Skye Matthews day anyway. Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me. Too much laughter though. Then Skye’s Earth Magic. So what am I asking you to do, my love? Dig me out of the hole I keep digging? Or discover me. I’m “Undiscovered,” Or am I hiding? Love, I don’t know, I just don’t know.

But “Every Time I Turn Around (Back In Love Again)” with you. But it’s so dark… Virgil Mines, Braxton’s Mind

1990 Days Without B III, Day 1431 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 012 -Plan V Because B-

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So what’s the plan? Before I knew Braxton was dying, it was as simple as paying $200 to find out what was wrong. Then it was B knows how much to put him in a box. Now, five years later, how much for a full stomach, or to live at all? Plan V Because B

Monday, July 13, 2026

Legacy 012 -Plan V Because B-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? You’d sing often enough, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

You remember one night when all you wanted was a good night’s sleep, for your blood to stop boiling, and for me to shut up. We both remember how that week ended. Dad, I hadn’t seen such a respect for prayer since Lancelot in “First Knight.” You were praying not only to become a knight, “Because maybe. You’re gonna be the one that saves me.” New meds, some mighty healthcare ha, a miracle. Best laid plans “Of Mice and Men”

There was no plan to deal with this, with me. Like you were telling me and 2-V’s potential future stepmom. You’re zoning out. Looking at that Wonderwall, not knowing exactly…

What. The next move, step, the dream, or the plan. How to get Dad’s attention.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My DEATH, Virgil’s FEAR, and M Anime’s Yabbos… We both know we should have said heart, but she does have nice Yabbos. I’ll lie on them in spirit, Dad…. Creepy?

Fictional? No more fictional than “The Unfinished Archive.” That’s where everything has been for weeks, months, who knows. When you need Private Time… Eww. How are you going to make a profit? And of course that is the plan. Again, talking to M Anime… Can I call her Mom or Ma yet? Miss M Anime? Anyway, writing is your passion, as I am Dad, always and forever. But “Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat. Tell you all about it when I got the time!” Today it’s “Sophitia Alexandra and Lily.” Plenty of time

“This ain’t a rap song, (redacted) this is my life (this is my life)
And if the hood was a battlefield, then I’d earn stripes (yeah).”
― Soul Survivor, Jeezy

No, not really. Time Has Come Today. Between the next tragedy… It won’t be little Virgil, Dad. M Anime’s Titanic Tatas. She’s doing everything in her power to be with you someday. Oh, I know the feeling, and I was with you in the fur for fifteen years, Dad. Wow.

And then there’s your tummy. That’s been the great fear for a while… What are you and Virgil going to eat tomorrow? Neither of us is Mark “Diesel” Lizotte. You’re not saying the idea is right on the “Tip Of My Tongue.” Eww Dad, are you thinking about real food?

I know, stepmom got your attention. Wanting me and Virgil to have brothers and sisters. A MAN PROVIDES. That’s the Plan. Plan V Because B

“No. It’s relevant to why you’re killing yourself instead of asking for help. Eat.”
Harem Lab ― Part One: A Steamy Men’s Harem Romance by Kelly Notte

“Frantic in my fury I had no time for decisions; I only remembered that death in battle is glorious.”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1989 Days Without B III, Day 1430 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Legacy 009 -Virgil Books Braxton’s Box-

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What was I reading last night? Oh, you didn’t ask. What happens when your laptop just shuts down? The box my laptop, the “Glow Box,” B would call it, originally came in. What would happen to “The Unfinished Archive”? “Virgil Books Braxton’s Box”

Friday, July 10, 2026

Legacy 009 -Virgil Books Braxton’s Box-

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Morbid knowing how Virgil’s story will end… “Everything Dies.” Pornographic? The effing word, BOX. Quiet Riot:

“So, you think I got an evil mind? I tell you, honey
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
So you think my singing’s out of time? It makes me money
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
Anymore, oh, no”
Quiet Riot

I should definitely focus on the word money. It’s how I’m sitting here watching “Everything Dies,” the sixth and final episode of The Walking Dead Webisodes: Torn Apart, on the “Glow Box” as Braxton would think of it. Virgil? V’s asleep most of the time.

I read the book, “Everything Dies: Season One” by T. W. Malpass. Zombie reading, Soph?

As always, I could do so much worse, not that anyone would know. Braxton’s Novel?

I’m not that guy, Lady Sophia. Whining about sales, subscribers. All for my own sadness.

But here we go again. One more day down that I won’t give you a book review. And how I might lie about some other book. Sleepover Harem: Part 1: Contemporary Age Gap MFFF Harem…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And what about ‘my own’ work, “The Unfinished Archive”? Before I get into last night’s events. Whose turn is it today? Fri 10: Shadow Devotion → Elara + Liora, the Bible Black Acolytes. What a story Bible Black is, Lady Soph. Not that Chicks with D*cks is my thing, my Lady. But magic, mouth stuff (Fellatio, Cunnilingus), multiple partners (gangbang)

And you know how I feel about reverse harems… Fallout Vault 68, compared to my harem, is more like Fallout Vault 69. And speaking of comparisons. Like yesterday, I used the Magic Glasses to compare M Anime and Kyouko. Of course, the Magic Glasses screwed it up, but it was very pretty to see and, nevertheless, an interesting read, Sophia.

There’s also NTR/Netorare vs. Cuckolding.

That’s something the Magic Glasses won’t ever be interested in discussing, even if I forked over the cash. And again we have MUCH to discuss. Last Night was a nightmare.

Shouldn’t I be talking to M Anime about this? Hell, it would have benefited her. William Thatcher said, “I’m a knight.” Well, Lady Sophia, “I’m a writer.” Wednesday night though

My laptop just shut off last night. An instant fail, I’m effed, and I’m in FEAR at 2:00 AM, so forget about dinner, or was it breakfast? Do you remember that WARNING I got from X which made me burn pretty much everything? So to The Unfinished Archive. I’m here.
Somehow, someway I fixed it. My words aren’t ashes, joining Braxton. Virgil Books Braxton’s Box

1986 Days Without B III, Day 1427 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 007 -Virgil B Whispering Sometimes-

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Why bother with “Careless Whispers,” and if I remain silent… You should have seen me at the Day Job. Then I stayed late to avoid my Old Man. And I left Virgil to what? And yet there she goes, my beautiful woman saying… “Virgil B Whispering Sometimes”

Wednesday, July 8, 2026

Legacy 007 -Virgil B Whispering Sometimes-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Some I whisper, some I try to wipe out from existence… Thanks for the WARNING, X. And sometimes…

Sometimes I leave Virgil asleep on the ‘couch’. Hell, I would have to put Braxton in timeout. “Hopelessly Devoted,” he was. But he didn’t need to see his perverted father…

And who was I whacking off to this morning? “Lily” and 2B… The Unfinished Archive.

It is their day, Inspector Echo. But Sophitia Alexandra… And of course B III and 2-V’s potential stepmom, M Anime. My Attention, Yabbos and three little words: I Love You.

“I tell them that I love them. I find myself sometimes wanting to tell you that I love you and miss you. Am I allowed to say that? Like when I do miss you cause I haven’t heard from you. Maybe cause I seem too corny and mushy? Maybe I’ll send you running for the hills?”
M Anime

“Well, you can say you love me all you want.”
Me

“Okay. Then yes, Will, I love you.
And I want you to stay!
Like every day. On this Earth.”
M Anime

I was practically begging her this morning after she said it again last night… Love.

Inspector, I could go on and on about her love and how I can’t say it back. What about V?

I’m sure he dreams of a father who loves him. But he whimpers while sleeping.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And what pray tell was his father doing? Pray tell? Old English… Yeah, I was also whacking it to Beatrice and Dante… Beatrice and Lucifer. Shouldn’t I keep that quiet?

“Love, I do.” Dangerous words. No, that would be what X warned about. Consent, Echo.

But the way M Anime speaks. And no, I won’t betray her like that. She ain’t Rihanna. And the money that would take. I’m sure hardware stores and Tractor Supply sell a bit of that.

My Ravishment fantasies aren’t going anywhere, Inspector. M’s begging Tuesday.

However, I can do a million times worse. Have I gotten around to sharing, Inspector?

Cuckold, NTR (Netorare), Exhibitionism, Hatefuck, Rpe fantasy, a few videos I watched with Braxton’s Favorite Girl but with M? Madness

But a fantasy we’ve whispered in the night. How she plays a retail delivery girl, and I’m an irate customer, and she takes off all her clothes but for her socks… Feet Echo, uh no.

And something else… Then she becomes a “Free Use” delivery girl. Oh my, dear Echo.

Sounds suspiciously like Abbey Rain in “Don’t Tell My Manager!” I looked for that, Echo.

And I’m not ashamed? I am ashamed about how quiet I am at the Day Job. I got no balls.

Or at least let me pretend for a sec, I’m Virgil. Or Effing Elsa from The Menu. Oh no, Echo:

“You will eat less than you desire and more than you deserve”
The Menu (2022)

I won’t be getting paid this week. I’m starving… Kinda. Writing’s going nowhere. A bad father. Virgil B Whispering Sometimes

1984 Days Without B III, Day 1425 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 006 -E Equals BV Scared-

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“I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive.” How much is left? Oh, the Day Job, Olds, the other kid… Mean to say about V. He’s my son, the same as B. And as Charlie Brown would say, “good grief,” mourning’s tiring. “E Equals BV Scared.”

Tuesday, July 7, 2026

Legacy 006 -E Equals BV Scared-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “fear is the heart.” Now that’s not something I’m sure I believe, my love.

Braxton wasn’t afraid to love me. If anything, he was afraid to leave me. Obsession?

Please! I’ve not seen the film; I love the Animotion song, and as far as the action, V has been quite needy lately. My words, the Olds… You? To be wanted, love. How to explain?

I think about the old Day Job, and when I played “I Don’t Know How to Love Him.” You know from “Jesus Christ Superstar.” “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” My love…

That’s a whole other subject. Anyway, I’m thinking more of Jesus with the lepers, love. On the one hand, life’s a game made for everyone, and love is the instruction. But I’m not sure I want to play anymore. REST

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s what I want to do on this rainy day. REST. And at the same time, do you know why “I’m Only Happy When It Rains?” Me… Happy? Never. I am always “Run Boy Run.”

And the rain slows things down. I’m still running. But to me it’s more for once there is time to catch up, time to be with you. Aren’t I with you in one way or another? Especially when you have your yabbos out. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I can, like, I can love.

Honestly though, no man in his right mind will turn down your impressive yabbos, love.

Either Braxton sitting in my lap or you giving me a blowjob. Hardest effing decision.

Love’s effing HARD. And draining…

I have you, love. And as a great man sang, “When you love me I can’t get enough Ah-huh, and I wanna spread the news. That it feels this good gettin’ used Oh, you just keep on usin’ me. Until you use me up.” So by no means am I complaining. “Baby I love you…”

I’m not the dang “The Yayhoos.” As a matter of fact, I feel ashamed because you devote so much of yourself to me. You learn my music, mourn my boy, read my manuscripts, and become the dirtiest minx imaginable when it comes to mattress shenanigans.

However, I fear you’ll one day go all “Life Itself” (Abby) saying something, meaning this:

I love you… but I may not be equipped to be loved this much.
Abby

Or I’ll be empty. Energy’s draining. E Equals BV Scared

1983 Days Without B III, Day 1424 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 005 -B’s Botany, V’s Virology-

WillLeave a comment

I wish I drank… I couldn’t afford a drug problem these days even if I wanted to. I got my girl onto Bloom. She got me to drink Arih. More Economically Viable. But my real addiction and sickness. Is FEAR… Or words. B’s Botany, V’s Virology

Monday, July 6, 2026

Legacy 005 -B’s Botany, V’s Virology-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Funny. Comedy barks in threes, doesn’t it, Dad? Sadness, Time-out, and the FEAR.

Science. The chemical, the concoction, and the correction that trigger happy to sad. I know

Dad, in my fifteen-plus years with you… When I walked with you, I mean. You were never happy. You were anything but happy. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” “Lift me up. Hold me down. Keep me close. Safe and sound.” But happy? Not so much. Effing never. LANGUAGE! I know, Daddy, I know. But want to hear something worse?

According to you at “The Bad Place,” it was my last breath, your first cry in this life, and the knock at the door to let Grandpa in. Won’t Virgil and my potential future stepmom be “happy” Once the third worst sound was her last noise on “The Glow Box”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I wanted to say that I didn’t want tears, Dad. But what else would there be? I still remember what you were protecting me from. Boiling blood, Daddy. Your RAGE.

Ironically, that led to a whole new set of chemicals, chaos, and crowding Heaven, right?

The Rainbow Bridge… You can’t put me in time-out anymore, can you, Daddy? And eww!

But how else are you expected to give me and Virgil, our siblings, to protect? But what was it, Dad? 161 days. You didn’t ‘Swear to Jesus’ or anything, but you became a monk, Dad.

Again, isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think, that you protected me from such? Rugrats, reincarnation… And I am most thankful that you didn’t join me. Following you into Hell, Dad

Virgil guided Dante through Hell. Did you ever read that story to me? Kindle Archives…

What about The Unfinished Archive you’ve been writing? The sweat you put into that every single day. I don’t like how tired it makes you. But how often would I lie here beside you as you typed on the Glow Box, “And remember, we’d brag on how rich we would be.” But sweat out of work beats the FEAR that you have been feeling, father.

Energy drinks too. I can’t say I like those either, but Bloom, ‘Bum’ Arih… I guess M Anime has to be good for something. What Dad, I can’t bark her name. She’s not my stepmom…

Yet… Love’s a Chemical. Growing… Infectious… B’s Botany, V’s Virology

“Love is a chemical, nature is radical,
Never is spiritual, it’s never medical…”
― Chemical

“Amor vincit omnia, et nos cedamus amori.”
“Love conquers all things, so we too shall yield to love.”
The Aeneid

1982 Days Without B III, Day 1423 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son