Tag: Lonely

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

WillLeave a comment

A Snow Day! I don’t have to go to the Day Job. My eye appointment was canceled. And 2-V was like, “You’re out of your damn mind! I’m not going out there! Even if I match!” Anything can happen! Even being positive in the “9th Circle,” huh. Plan B To V

Friday, January 10, 2025

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Of how I was happy once… Perish the thought. The last time I was close… Uh…

Is that what we’re going to talk about? Seriously! What else is there? Lady Sophia…

“Snow day! Snow day, snow day, snow day. Snow day! Anything can happen!”
Snow Day

And to think, once upon a time, I wanted to be a weatherman. No, better. A meteorologist, my lady. And this was way before I met “Weatherman” in school. I wonder what happened to that guy. He would make these weather reports in school. And if the boy told you, it was going to snow… Don’t bother getting out of bed. The boy had passion.

Lady Sophia, with all of the tales I’ve written, what happened to my passion? Dedication?

Well, I made it to the dining room table this morning. Such were my feelings of euphoria. I’m nostalgic because snow meant avoiding humiliation. School or today’s eye appointment. Ha!

I should have my eyes checked. Then, I would find happiness. I must be positive…

More like B Positive for Braxton. Hell, Virgil is white too. And apparently, the last thing I need right now is a white guy telling me what to do. How’s that for some DEI, MAGA?

Virgil is okay. The snow was a pleasant surprise. I’m all for white women… Well, all women, but today, the women that got me going… Anyway, there’s the white page.

Didn’t I enjoy Sinclair Lewis’s book? And I sampled Yevgeny Zamyatin’s novel, We. But I can’t tell you a thing about it; I was so out of it last night. And my eye doctor is a white guy. The vet that saved Braxton’s life… Memories.

So, correction. I don’t need any of MAGA, and that includes their tokens, Tim Scott, Byron Donalds, Candace Owens, etc. Telling me what to do. Schooling when there’s no school.

Aren’t I supposed to be talking about things that feel like a snow day? Honestly, the moments that give me a feeling of… Hope. I don’t know. Let’s say that gets me out of bed.

Some girl was in my lap in the backseat of a car. Ah, first time. To be chosen over air… (Cue Homer Drool). There’s watching movies with B III and his favorite girl. Or, Virgil. There’s reaching 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo. All these things give me a Snow Day feeling. And yet I smile, going nowhere. Plan B To V

1440 Days Without B III, Day 881 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 192 ~X, B, V, Unknowns~

WillLeave a comment

When Braxton was around, this bed was good for one thing… Sleeping. Because who knows what would happen if I went beyond the door’s threshold. Food. Fury. Female Friends. But always there was the problem of FEAR. So positivity? X, B, V, Unknowns

Thursday, January 9, 2025

Meditation 192 ~X, B, V, Unknowns~

1439 Days Without B III, Day 880 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, you’d ask… After napping too long. How it was or what I did…

At this particular moment, I’m feeling lost, B. I’m wiping the tears from my face, struggling to be positive. I’ve even talked to Inspector Echo about FEAR, PAIN, and RAGE, my boy. You know your Dad can be a bit hot-headed for any number of reasons. But it comes to…

Stupidity. I want to ask you how you grew up so fast. Because being here…

Braxton, I know, I know! Again positivity. But everything, everyone, and everywhere makes no sense to me. It’s like I tell people all the time. I’m here. This point, space, and time. And like those same people B III It’s me, hi. I’m the problem; it’s me. Dear ole’ Dad.

Today, though, at this very moment, the thing that scares me is the Day Job. eSign Topper Change… Doesn’t look like anything to me. Even if you knew what to do you wouldn’t know what to do. It’s all Greek to me. And is there anything else from Pop Culture?

How about play? That ain’t something we should speak on. But my Dad never taught me about women. And now I’m into Judy Alvarez, who reminds me of a tattooed Irish lass. Sextra Credit. And now I have a thing for sisters, B. You swore off women… Not your aunt.

Thinking about our movie nights with her and food… I got forty dollars, Braxton. How do I live off that? It wouldn’t bother you any.

That was a bad joke, I know, but the fact that I could make it with how you passed away… But Virgil is here, and he’s still unknown. Even though you passed, goin on four long years. Still wakin’ up at late at night cryin’ tears. R. Kelly? Seriously? Disgusting!

Changing the subject… What book should I read next, B? I finished “It Can’t Happen Here.” I value your opinion, my boy. Though back in the day you left all the reading to me. Right?

There’s also TV. I finished the second season of Squid Game on Tuesday. Any thoughts? Well, other than that, I was Gi-hun, and you were Jung-bae. And I… The friendship?

Being positive? What will I do to honor you and to remember? Running late. Because into the unknown… I would rather sleep. You know about that. X, B, V, Unknowns

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So many things are happening in my head that I forgot my “Resolutions.” And if I try to relax, the other head is worse… Eww! Where is the Queen of Hearts, The Red Queen, or Cherry? And it might snow, too? Another worry. “Heading B’s Way Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is it with the type of love that my Braxton had for me? That love…

If this is the kind of love that my mom used to warn me about
Man, I’m in trouble
I’m in real big trouble ―

Wyclef Jean said it better than I ever could. And Braxton never said a word. Yet I believe he sends me these songs and words. Like you could say, I’m Insane in the Membrane. Ha!

Then again, I’ve always said I’ll take physical pain over mental mischief. My head hurts!

Because yesterday… And I’m remaining “positive.” But my love, I’m only speaking the truth. Yesterday was a terrible day for my mental health. I went from falling back asleep to looking at myself in the mirror and wondering… How did Socrates do it? Uh, Hemlock.

I was so exhausted that I was praying for some accident. Yes, women are dangerous.

Before heading to bed, I spent most of the night looking up… Stuff And Thangs?

Not my own or some beautiful girls’ Yabbos. Our “home” is for you, my lovely wife, and any “partners.” I’m still researching that option. But last night I was looking for things… Like I keep in the nightstand. Russian Roulette type… Stop watching Squid Game.

Only the finale remains. But that’s not the reason I’m fighting hard to stay positive. It’s like that time I read Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. It was supposed to bring positivity. But somehow, I got triggered by a wave of negativity that swept over me. It was like a storm in my mind, overwhelming. Overstimulating?

Having two heads, my love… Or is it I’m wearing too many hats? It could be, as THEY say. Heavy the head that wears the crown. And I want my crown. For you, ours, Braxton…

Darling, I won’t credit Braxton with “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Ha-ha. Would I make you my Kyrie Canaan or Lady Dimitrescu, my love? I swear, like most men, I have to blow one head to clear the other. And after that joy, well, what comes next… Both figuratively and literally… Eww! And is that a positive thing? Making Love. Getting Off. Saying hi to my monster. I didn’t do that yesterday. If anything, my love, honestly. It’s just…

Yesterday, I felt like a victim. And I was tired of running. I’m losing my head one way or another. But it’s a cold, cruel, coming to an end type of world. Braxton needs company…

But as a Husband, Father, and Friend. Whatever else, love. I understand the importance of emotional connection. I’m committed to being there for you, my love, and I hope you’ll be there for me too as we navigate life’s challenges together. Heading B’s Way Virgil

1437 Days Without B III, Day 878 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

WillLeave a comment

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. I’m saying the apocalyptic and dystopian for books or January 6 -20. But good news, there’s no termites and I’m dismissing negativity. As far as being positive. Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I have more respect than most because I don’t use my children as armor… Elon.

That’s me being positive and stating the facts. But I won’t lie, my dearest Lunalesca. Despite the challenges, I’m holding on to my positivity. Somehow…

Positivity is a long, long road… Tom Petty today with “Love Is a Long Road.” B is doing what he can with the music. If I focus on what happened yesterday, Lady Lu, I mean…

On the positive side, the termite inspector said there are no termites. My Lunalesca? I’m going to cheer for that because everything after… Well, Braxton talked to me. From beyond…

Speaking of Braxton, I remember when he first stepped into the invisible? I was in a stage of Denial for around seventy days before a manager pushed me towards anger.

Within three days of the new year… My leaning towards positivity has been shaken, Lu. I’m feeling a bit lost right now. So I’m here.

And if that isn’t enough, I discovered two things last night. One by myself and the other Lunalesca… Well, I was Doomscrolling, so somebody else said it, but honestly, Lunalesca.

I’m going to blame the tears on being Blinded by the Light. Bruce Springsteen? Really? Lu, I’m constantly researching what happened to B. I asked off the Day Job for his memorial at the end of the month. But I’ve always said it was my indifference that ended B III.

Lunalesca that led me to the second discovery. I was listening to this woman speak on these tragedies that define us. And that we make them the end all be all of our lives, Lu.

Name something greater than my son? I was/am a father.

I’m the King Of New York, I’m a mothereffin’ Starboy. And I’m Free. I have to work on Braxton’s playlist. It’s been four days. Let me say that again. IT’S BEEN FOUR DAYS into the new year. So ask me how I’m feeling about it. Lady Lunalesca, without any negativity.

Everything and everyone has made it their goal to forbid me from leaving this room. Luna, it’s my own room 1408. Okay, so that means more time to get to know Virgil with his four years. I’m on episode four of Squid Game and skipping the whole Dub vs Sub.

I’ve got Braxton, Virgil, my work, and then myself. If comedy comes in threes, then what comes fourth. Bravery, Wisdom, Honesty… Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

1434 Days Without B III, Day 875 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I won’t talk about “Lord of the Flies,” “The Moonstone,” or the names of anybody that I owe or will owe. And as much as I enjoy A Different Alchemy, it’s sad. But the names and pictures of Girls On Film. And the memory of my son. What B Reads, Virgil

Friday, January 3, 2025

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A positive story? We’re three days in, and I can show you less-than-stellar reads. Texts, Bills…

But, no. I’d never stop. Speaking of never stopping. I’ll never stop writing about Braxton.

Is it puppy love? My boy is fifteen, and the other one, V, is four. But every day, as I mark the dates on the calendar, I’m reminded of the joy of fatherhood. It’s a testament to my manhood, to my role as a father.

I like that I can go back at any time and read the novels I wrote for and with Braxton. Sophia, that’s one more thing. Another day gets me. You can see I’m trying… Positivity.

There’s another chance to love. “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” I swear the songs Braxton sends to me as I sit here. Is he talking about myself, Virgil, or my feelings for him?

Again, there’s the Day Job.

Payday! Lady Sophia, I feel like Winston Smith here having to use Doublethink. If I’m to stay on the positive side of the line… I have a Day Job, a paycheck, and adult money. Wow!

Yesterday, as I sat there contemplating life… Not Existence? Life? It’s so hard, my lady. You know, playing Mr. Brightside. I would say, “Let’s Go Crazy.” This is day three. Remind me, Sophia, to write down B’s songs. Anyway, I was looking at expected deposits.

And so I’m looking forward to having the termite inspector in and out of the house without too much damage. And while I’m talking about music, I have Dale Carnegie’s audiobook “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living with my dystopian reading list ever-increasing somehow.

Plus, there’s when I put pen to paper. But let’s focus on somebody else. There’s always Cherry. While I enjoy reading her work, I won’t lie to you, Sophia. When I hear that ping… There’s hope that it will be a picture of her Yabbos. Pretty much any girl, actually.

Disgusting beats Depression. Does it not? So, I like working on galleries and erotic fiction. It’s another testament because some of these girls have dozens of pictures to their name. B III has hundreds, meaning organizing would take me much longer. Love over Lust, Hmm.

But aren’t I trying to keep it in my pants? And Kindle is all sorts of confused. Am I being liberal or libertine with my reading? What B Reads, Virgil

1433 Days Without B III, Day 874 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“This isn’t too bad…” I’d tell B after anything I wrote. B couldn’t read, or could he if his looking down on my t-shirts was a sign. But he’s not looking down on me now… He wants me to follow through with writing. “Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil.”

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

1432 Days Without B III, Day 873 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive!

Yes, those are tears in my eyes, B. I’m only tired… mostly. And the day hasn’t even begun yet. Does it start from my first breath at midnight? Does it begin with eyes wide open?

You know we’re coming back to that. The first song you sent this morning, Braxton. Creed’s, With Arms Wide Open. But anyway, we’re talking about how the day begins, B.

Is it when I do something like go to the Day Job? Again, I promise you, little B III, positivity. It could be the day’s beginning, which is actually my DECOMPRESSION. When I give myself fifteen minutes rushing back to bed after I return and Make The World Go Away.

Obviously, with your musical selections today. Tupac, though, “rapped” this. However, with you B:

I feel his (paw) on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let (my son) do his thang

And speaking of all the music. There are so many things I need to do at the beginning of the year. For example, what will be the first song I play on Spotify? Something positive…

How about something promising? That’s Creed for ya. But you were a “happy” accident when you became my son. I’m sure you knew about your brother before I ever did.

And with Virgil’s Gotcha Day, I need to take off from the Day Job at the end of the month. A day to honor you, my son. And that leads me to what I’ve been thinking of a bit, B.

“What can I do to get me to you?” I swear you know your music as much as I sang. Obviously, that’s Steve Conte’s “Call Me Call Me.” Anything but positive. But I am trying.

And in my quest to make our future bright, I made a promise to you. I promised to become an author, to buy a big house with a massive yard for you to guard. And in this house, we would be so far from the hustle and bustle of the world, except for your honorary aunt. And of course, I promised you two-legged siblings too.

You’d be an Old Man saying, I’m getting too old for this (stuff). Promises, Resolutions. Like Master Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” If… when I succeed in building you Heaven, Paradise, and Elysium, you will return. But positivity… You never left me. Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 183 ~B, Eve, And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“What are you doing New Year’s, New Year’s Eve?” Well, Ella Fitzgerald, I spent most of the year the same way. I’m in bed dreading life and not wanting to participate in much today. But if I had a wife, two-legged kids, and B uh V… B, Eve, And Virgil

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Meditation 183 ~B, Eve, And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than yesterday. More than today, even on New Year’s Eve. Doesn’t feel like it…

It’s not an ending or a new beginning. It’s just another day. Only Matchbox Twenty said it better. One more day down. So what about today? Considering next year, too…

Darling, what do I want? What is thy bidding, my Master? Eww! Knowing your man. These simplistic New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. I want Braxton back.
  2. Virgil becomes my son
  3. Finish, It Can’t Happen Here
  4. Stop waking up moaning
  5. Wanting to wake up
  6. To stop complaining
  7. Stop fearing my father
  8. Visiting OnlyFans with money
  9. Make more on OnlyFans
  10. Don’t talk to myself
  11. To stop smiling unnecessarily
  12. To stop procrastinating
  13. Clean out the inboxes
  14. Cutting the phone off daily
  15. Be not so fearful

Fifteen? My lucky number. Unlucky when it comes to my first love. Well, the first I was solely responsible for. My firstborn son Braxton. But that was 2021, and we’re heading into 2025. So will I start these tomorrow… When did the comedian die? But not my lustful resolutions, babe:

  1. I want Braxton back
  2. Virgil becomes my son
  3. To build a Bordello
  4. To create a Harem
  5. To produce Adult films
  6. Publish an erotic series
  7. Moaning with someone (wife)
  8. No more masturbation (alone)
  9. Exploring Sadism and Masochism
  10. To be less shameful
  11. Working on my body
  12. Continue building sexual collections
  13. Sex once a week
  14. Study NTR, Dollification, etc.
  15. M Anime or Cherry

A few things. When it comes to making babies I always ask where my two furry sons are first. So, I lock them out when I’m having adult time. Second, the critic won’t like this. Neither will M Anime or Cherry. And again, you know the man you married. Resolutions:

  1. I’ll keep Virgil alive
  2. I’ll publish a bestseller
  3. Make one hundred million
  4. I’ll write 400 Words daily
  5. I’ll complete every NaNoWriMo
  6. I‘ll provide for us
  7. Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  8. I’ll be FEARLESS
  9. I’ll be TRUTHFUL
  10. I’ll LIVE not exist
  11. I‘ll LOVE someone
  12. I’ll find HAPPINESS
  13. ACCEPTANCE with Braxton’s loss… NEVER
  14. Less depression… In bed
  15. I’ll gain POWER to…

1430 Days Without B III, Day 871 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 180 ~To B Graded Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I can still be graded even if I don’t go to class. The School of Hard Knocks. Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life, as Prince said. And if I can get a D. Eww. I have mine. But existing… To B Graded Virgil.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

Meditation 180 ~To B Graded Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Then again, what were my grades in school? I remember praying for D’s. Eww! Seriously, Dude?

Don’t worry. When I broke my five-day streak last night, Lady Lunalesca. It was all because of a girl. That was one of the reasons I dropped out of college. Another was the humiliation from one of the professors… She forgot I was even there, Lady Lunalesca. Geez! But understandable…

And that’s not what I want to talk about today. Really? How about wanting to forget myself? And then I wonder why nobody knows who I am. If I excel at anything, it’s self-depreciation. I would get all A’s in that. Hurting, Humiliation, and Humor. And didn’t I say before the comedian is dead? No, that would be my firstborn son. And now I’m crying.

Over Braxton? There’s always a tear for him, but I’m tired for the most part.

Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic. Let’s start with Math. And having to go to the post office before it closes. That’s at noon. And then I have to pay a few hundred bucks, which I don’t have. And after that, I deserve a reward, haha, so I’ll get a piggy potato but with brisket. Oh goody, expensive. I’ll waste more money. And what about grocery shopping? I’ll waste another day in the cold because I couldn’t get up to go yesterday. Can’t get it up? Sigh

Lunalesca, didn’t I say I broke late last night looking up Stuff & Thangs? Like Michael Jackson sang, PYT. And sharing parts of Nightmare At The Meat Market on X.

https://twitter.com/WillsWants/status/1872992767225598448

Lunalesca? Now, I’ll start back at one. Like wearing pants…

Maybe if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been dumb enough to send M Anime Chapters 1-7 of Nightmare At The Meat Market. And what was that promise of 2:00 PM? And I couldn’t even keep my word. It was around that time, anyway. But when has my writing made me a dime, helped my doggy son, or been a delight? And reading. I’ve only failed one reading test, and that was in the 6th grade. I didn’t read the book, whatever it was, Lu, ok.

I must finish Fahrenheit 451, today. And then buy It Can’t Happen Here, the only book I haven’t read from my list. Would it be suitable for Braxton? How would he grade my existence after Christmas? To B Graded Virgil

1427 Days Without B III, Day 868 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I still have Netflix. And since I’m paying, what am I watching? The Six Triple Eight? Squid Game? Uh… I’ve seen The Book of Clarence how many times? A man with no money, no woman, listening to white people. Ah, Christmas! B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

Friday, December 27, 2024

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Better yet, I should read you a bill for this Christmas. Some are for books, okay.

But the biggest one at the moment will require me to get off my keister and head to the bank on this rainy afternoon. I could have done it this morning… And if my keister or another part of my anatomy was worth more. On Onlyfans? I swear, Lady Sophia.

https://onlyfans.com/1455686321/willyswants

Publishing books… Haven’t I said I want to do that too. The only reason I got up from my nap at 1:00 PM is because of M Anime. She wanted to see my story… our story. The one from her nightmare. Nightmare At The Meat Market. The things I think about women, dear Sophia. And what I think about myself as a man. Will anything change with the new year? Besides existing in dystopian fiction…

I want to buy either the next book or existing under a Trump Presidency. No wonder I’ve been a lot more liberal with my words. Or should I say conservative? Haven’t I brought this up before? When it’s Mr. Nasty time on X/Twitter, I get a lot of ads from Elon Musk and MAGA. Makes you wonder. My other page is much cleaner, give or take the occasional wrestler… Here’s looking at you, Roxanne Perez, and Piper Niven. Or my nostalgia for Final Fantasy. The good ole days when I was only writing poetry, Sophia.

But that’s not paying the bills either. And since my 40th E-Day, what have I done? I canceled one bill for the man who’s paying most of them. For shame

At times, I feel like I’m not living up to the expectations of a man. Duh! Instead, I’m a burden, a bill that no one should have to pay for.

Only, I’m here. It’s what I tell everyone, Lady Sophia. I take up Space. I don’t Hold Space as Clarence’s mom told him. I could do what I do in the ground. Now that’s dark.

But something must be in the black because it’s not my bank account ever. I’d rather have the black in something… Eww! Do I ever stop? Did Braxton ever stop eating? Twice. Once on his birthday. And it’s the saddest I’ve ever seen him. Full and fat finally but depressed.

The second time… Nope! I haven’t cried today. I need to see the cost of existing. B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

1426 Days Without B III, Day 867 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s sad to say I had better days when B III was sitting on my head, and I couldn’t breathe. Now I hit the snooze button and hope I’m not breathing in 15. Christmas spirit indeed… Don’t check my “OF.” Such are the times, the days. B’s Bad Day, Virgil

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

1425 Days Without B III, Day 866 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It is 4:10 PM. So my day… Well, I didn’t share it with your brother.

Though Virgil is asleep at the foot of the bed. He still stays off your corner. And your bed, B? I don’t even worry about it. Your scent lingers, Braxton. If Life Finds A Way…

However, there’ll be more on that later. How was my day? It was a bit of a rollercoaster, B. Some parts were horrible, some were terrible, and some were just plain stupid. But I’m here, and I’m thinking of you.

Let’s start with standing in the Walmart parking lot in the rain and thinking weirdly. Usually, they start at the Day Job and come out fully cooked coming back. And speaking of fully cooked, we need to talk about Christmas too. Seeing your grandparents, B.

Anyway. Here is the thought: I’ve never had three good days in a row. Before. With. And even after you. Comedy comes in threes, right? But evil is infinite B…

And you, my son, were my Langolier. Where do I keep getting these nicknames I never called you in life? I swear I should read a Stephen King novel. Not that I regret reading Brave New World, 1984, and apparently the appendix edition of Fahrenheit 451. And I want to waste more money on Satan’s Sorority Girls 8, Ryan and His Beauties 2, and Bikini Sunset. And I still have to read, It Can’t Happen Here” What, a good day?

Again, three good ones in a row. But what counts as a good day in my eyes? One, where I don’t mind opening them. Even if you were sitting on my head. No homo, as Todd would say. One where dropping dead is No Bueno.

But let’s sum up yesterday… I visited your grandparents for Christmas and sat with your great-grandma. I didn’t talk much and let your little brother take the heat. I filled up two to-go boxes… three if you were here and left. Then I took Christmasy pictures, you shouldn’t see. Eww.

And today? I went to the Day Job and had to lead a guy around as we made Christmas disappear and got doused in green glitter. I got hit in the face, my leg is hurting again, and of course, Humiliations Galore. Humiliated at Walmart, robbed, and a nap later…

And here we are. Needless to say, I don’t wanna go to work. Friday is gonna be effed. There’ve been worse. B’s Bad Day, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad