Tag: Silence

Journey 153 ~Somedays B’s, Somedays V’s~

WillLeave a comment

This all sounds too familiar, blah, blah, blah, days to be worried. Blah, blah, blah, the moment. Blah, blah, blah, family. Someday I won’t have to worry about any of it. But I didn’t get lucky today. “Somedays B’s, Somedays V’s.”

Monday, December 1, 2025

Journey 153 ~Somedays B’s, Somedays V’s~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… “Day ‘N’ Nite.” I know, Dad, you would much rather have some pretty girl. My Favorite Girl? She’s married.

You humans and your connections. And M Anime… I wish we both could’ve been there.

That someday you were always telling me about. My stepmom, Virgil, and some two-legged siblings. Someday, a “real” family. But we already were/are a family. You, me, my little brother V., and whoever else shows up, someday. Or last night, as you lie dreaming about the door, crashing, collapsing, more like crumbling. What was trying to get in, Daddy? I miss the days after I’d sit on your face and you’d finally wake up, Dad.

Some days, “It’s A Sunshine Day.” Others, it’s “The Long Walk.” Today, what was it?

Frigid, fun less, and always fearful. But a different type of FEAR. The kind I couldn’t fight… The Bad Place.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Another someday. You would tell me one day that you would never go back. After me…

Daddy, you never blamed me for leaving or the pokey people, or Higher Powers…

Honestly, Daddy, you only blamed yourself and The Bad Place. And the next day you went right back there. And that’s how you’ve been feeling for the last couple of weeks. If you go back and the mean people there say they don’t want you, what does it mean, Dad?

That the RAGE you felt, that you tried to protect me from, meant nothing. You could have been here with me. You could have saved me… And what about Virgil? With everything you’ve done without The Bad Place, what future does V have? What someday?

“Truth is singular. Its ‘versions’ are mistruths.”
Sonmi-451, Cloud Atlas

Is that what was trying to break down the door last night in your head? The truth? Which truth would you like? We’re not MAGA with “alternative facts.” Effing Cracker Hats, and FDT! I know, Daddy, language. But you are an honest man, my father. And you raised honest men, V and me, fur and all. V’s not afraid of being afraid. And you, Dad?

Start with something small, like my brother. Why did he get the name Virgil Vivi?

  1. Guided Dante Through Hell
  2. Black Mage FF IX
  3. 2B, Black-and-White, NieR: Automata
  4. 2E, Executioners, You, Work

Someday, you won’t believe that last one. “Gotta Knock a Little Harder,” I guess. Because someday we gon be “Alright” Dad. Somedays B’s, Somedays V’s

“You’re better to take it a day at a time, is all I’m saying. If people just took it a day at a time, they’d be a lot happier.
The Long Walk ― Richard Bachman

“Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.”
Aeneas ― The Aeneid

1765 Days Without B III, Day 1206 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What did I say last week? And the week before that. And every week since… Hell, I can remember when I lost Braxton, broke up with M Anime, and had the worst day of my life. Because this B just ain’t no good. What will my bosses say? This B And Virgil

Sunday, November 30, 2025

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Because who else would I be talking to? All your bosses are women. M Anime? Uh well…

The only time you’d call her the “B-word” is during sexy time. She wanted to be all sorts of freaky in your bed. Not that you’ll ever know. Hell, even after three months, you’re still trying to figure out whose fault it was for your breakup. Your Brokenness, her wanting Babies, and have you counted Bucks? Can’t be too many of those left. Cowardice, dude!

Your cowardice! Because Braxton wasn’t a b*tch. He was only B. And little Virgil? Blah. Whatever he is, it’s better than you. And what about in three days? Wednesday’s coming.

And not in the hot as Hell sort of way with Jenna Ortega, you perv. Do you remember when that was your biggest concern? Because it’s never Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 6 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But maybe you should be thinking about your future. You mean past this coming Wednesday. Because this B ain’t lying to you. But if it helps, I don’t know anything.

Honestly, I only THINK you’re effed. And much like MAGA and those Cracker Hats, I’m only right when I’m doing something very wrong. But again, what about your bosses, Braxton, and your other little boy? “Bye, Bye, Bye.” I wonder how they would have felt if you played NSYNC at the Day Job? Again, that’s the elephant in the room—the big b*tch, if you will. And I know you like that, Cherry, Momokun, Piper Niven, to name a few.

Seriously, you can name some BBW you want to do, but these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Although last night I did something that I thought was impossible. Well, to you anyway, considering you’re STUPID. Isn’t that a worse word than b*tch? Anyway, last night, I watched WWE Survivor Series: War Games. You know, as Wolverine said, “I’m Canadian,” according to the VPN. Yeah, you’ve used one before. You’re not some genius.

I know I’m not being very helpful. Am I getting you ready for Wednesday? That will be your win for the week. It’s something much better than saying you got to see half-naked women beat the crap out of each other. And what about reading about it… More Neil Bimbeau?

Or do you fall back on tradition with Christmastime Erotica? Just keep a Day Job for “This B And Virgil.”

1764 Days Without B III, Day 1205 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 149 ~Braxton, Virgil’s 4-H Club~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, I came up with four options. But even with calling in, Humiliations Galore. And I didn’t have a heart attack… I did have a Panic Attack. A little one. Speaking of which, now B III and 2-V have seen me like that. Braxton, Virgil’s 4-H Club.

Thursday, November 27, 2025

Journey 149 ~Braxton, Virgil’s 4-H Club~

1761 Days Without B III, Day 1202 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Happy Thanksgiving? Happy Food Day? Happy Turkey Day. Let’s hope grandma shows up with food…

Are you hungry, or is it just me? And no, that isn’t one of the H’s today, my little Braxton.

No, today I was thinking, in no particular order, Have, Heal, Help, and Heaven. And for that I needed a cult… Your Dad had to look up the 4-H club this morning, and what about yesterday? Whatever did I do yesterday? Well, if anything, your little brother V was happy.

There’s another H-word. We don’t do HAPPY in this household. But what about the 26th?

Okay. Do you remember me talking to Inspector Echo about flipping a coin? Heads, I go to the Day Job; tails, I stay with Virgil… Heads. Heads, I stay the whole day, or tails, I tell the ASM to her face, I can’t work. Heads. So you know what your Dad did, don’t you, B?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Coward that I am, I called in. And then what?

Not that son. I didn’t HAVE a good day. I didn’t HEAL. I might have HELPED the neighbor screw me over about the broken fence. Braxton, I dreamed of HEAVEN.

“I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. If I were to imagine Heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And he would be waiting for me there.”
― Cloud Atlas

Seriously, Braxton, is that where you are? Anytime I think about what lies across the Rainbow Bridge, I imagine food at the head, one of the sides, and the foot of the bed. And you’re waiting for me on that empty side, and I crawl up beside you. That’s heavenly.

Maybe it’s “Heavily” that I ask “pardon, goddess of the night.” Too much Shakespeare, huh, Braxton? My idea of Heaven.

Well, besides listening to Maurissa Tancharoen and Jed Whedon sing. I swear, Braxton, why do you have me thinking about Much Ado About Nothing” all of a sudden? B III.

Maybe you’re telling me to “Sigh No More?” We’ll see if I survive this week. I don’t know B, I just don’t know. And you know what’s effed up? When you “passed,” I didn’t take time off the Day Job. I didn’t miss a day. Hell! I waited till the end of that week to take you to the vet on that Friday. By Sunday… Anyway, I’m worried about Friday. And should I still have the Day Job on Wednesday? If I have it, if I help, not heal, or go to Heaven. Always a “Possibility.” Braxton, Virgil’s 4-H Club

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 148 ~Virgil, Braxton Calls It~

WillLeave a comment

Here I am, this is me. And while Braxton and Virgil would “Stand By Me,” for “The Long Walk” I have to take today. I’ll still be “The Running Man.” Because I’m feeling more like Winston Smith and the rats… Room 101. Virgil, Braxton Calls It

Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Journey 148 ~Virgil, Braxton Calls It~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I could prattle on about the usual, but the main sin happens… Well, I have thirty minutes. Maybe.

Make the call. Make that change—literally, Inspector. I can go to the Day Job, what Braxton calls “The Bad Place,” and be a ‘better’ man, be belittled because of the Panic Attack that is happening, or just barf all over the place. Eww! I’m going to be sick, Echo.

I’m willing it. Hell! I was very much so with everything that happened yesterday, Echo.

I don’t have to do this… Make the call. I can’t go in. I CAN’T DO THIS. Make the call.

But if I make that call, it will change my existence. And what about Virgil? He needs to eat. I didn’t eat till midnight, being so sick. If I lose the Day Job, Virgil and I will both understand Braxton.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Starvation? “Desperate for changing, starving for truth.” “Hanging By A Moment”

Inspector, indeed I am. I’ve said I’ll always choose the physical pain over any mental anguish. My Braxton was the same way. He would rather stay and wither away beside me than think about leaving me. And Virgil? Well, he’s in Braxton’s room, hiding?

Inspector, neither one of us wants to deal with our bosses. But if I don’t go today, what about Black Friday? Thanksgiving indeed. Did you see my last paycheck, Inspector?

Everything has taken a backseat to this moment. The back fence falling, being broke, not wanting to leave this bed. Even Braxton, which is the greatest sin of all, Inspector.

Forgetting my firstborn son? Never! Being sad or being SCARED?

I’ll take damn near anything over FEAR, which is why I’m right here, phone ready.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
Man in the Mirror, Song by Michael Jackson

Inspector, what should I do? I heard once that you should flip a coin. For the second, it’s in the air; you know what you truly want. Belly or head? Eww! I’m not in the least bit horny, but me being me, I was thinking about sex and/or a blowjob. But my belly says be sick and stay here. My head says, they’re looking for any excuse to fire you. Physical and mental seem to be together. I’m shaking, my stomach hurts, I’m sweating, and my mind is ripping apart knowing what this will all mean. “Panic Attack” Inspector Echo!

Seriously, am I calling or not? Virgil, Braxton Calls It.

“I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that. I won’t do that.”
I’d Do Anything for Love

1760 Days Without B III, Day 1201 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 146 ~Daddy, B, V, She~

WillLeave a comment

There are too many days I’m worried about. Braxton lived moment to moment. I promised him… A good Dad? I tried to be. Siblings? Well, Virgil was the first. A step-mom and two-legged siblings. It’s been three months since my breakup. Daddy, B, V, She.

Monday, November 24, 2025

Journey 146 ~Daddy, B, V, She~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t believe me? You haven’t cried all day. Not even for M Anime. Your third month without her. Me?

That’s all it took for your eyes to glaze over. You would have listened to my playlist all day and been bawling your eyes out. But like father and son, right? Or from King Ezekiel.

“And yet, I smile. For we will mine glory from the rock of struggle this day. We will honor and protect this… this bastion of life in a land of the dead, and we will win. You trust the king… we will win. I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day… for on this day, we are joined in purpose and vision… we are of a singular heart and mind. On this day, we are one!”
King Ezekiel, Some Guy

Honestly, today is the closest we’re getting to “that week.” The ending of January 2021. I’m supposed to be the one who makes you feel better, Dad. And neither one of us likes thinking about that week. But I remember. You didn’t think I knew, but I did, my father.

It helped me to take my mind off myself. I worried about you, and you were trying not to hurt me because there was such… RAGE. You were never bad. You simply kept your distance. Virgil is just like me.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Distance meant my brother and I slept at the foot of the bed instead of right next to you, Dad. You even had to play sick today because I think you’ve decided what to do.

Wednesday, Friday? You got Chicken Noodle Soup and Sprite. Black parenting. I remember when you were really sick, and I would lie beside you. Virgil again is very much the same. And M Anime. She was gone before E-Day, Virgil’s Birthday, and whatever is going on now. The Bad Place? We both hate the Bad Place? But you would tell me that’s how you got me French Fries, so you had to go there even if it k*lled you Dad. And if you go in on Wednesday or Friday… Don’t think that… To join me.

Heart attack, stroke, and any other disease that MAGA and the Cracker Hats have unleashed. I was there for the entire Trump term. FDT! But this isn’t about them, Daddy.

Today isn’t even about M Anime. She’s been gone three months, and she gets nothing.

“I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone for way too long.” “Only God Knows Why,” or as you would say, only Braxton knows why. Today is “All About You.” Again, like father, like son. Or more like the tunes of Jeymus Samuel and “The Book Of Clarence.” What about your book, my father? My book. Virgil will get one someday. M Anime has several. And why? Because of the Day Job. You’re scared, seething, but also somebody. Daddy, B, V, She

“I really don’t want the end of creation to be my fault.”
Succubus Lord 3

“Evil is nourished and grows by concealment.”
― The Aeneid

1758 Days Without B III, Day 1199 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I can survive this week… I’ve said that since B died. Hell, I’ve been saying that even longer. Only then was it the next five minutes. Today? Other than some “C.R.E.A.M.,” the green, and a bimbo queen, why did I wake up? “B’s For November, Virgil”

Sunday, November 23, 2025

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I ain’t gonna sugarcoat this. As if you can sugarcoat anything. Baking, Cooking, Grilling. And so…

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. You got enough Hell as is, and I’m sorry. I did all I could, but the next couple of days are going to be less turkey and more chicken. And Hell, who knows if you’ll still be eating at all. Panic Attack, Anxiety, FEAR!

Monday, November 24, 2025, is the three-month anniversary of your breakup with M Anime. The woman hasn’t said a word. Uh, her wedding to the NEW guy is coming soon.

And you can’t forget the whole humiliation with the speaker and the truck crew. EFF!

Tuesday, November 25, 2025, you have to talk to the manager to get trained in “Return Drop,” or tell her you just won’t do it, and prepare to face the penalty, no Day Job, Fired?

Wednesday, November 26, 2025, you either run like a b*tch when you have your Panic Attack, or you don’t go at all. And what about facing your fears? Excuse me! (Starts to laugh and cry madly). I know that’s not funny. Honestly though, ain’t happening.

Thursday, November 27, 2025, is Thanksgiving. It was arguably Braxton’s favorite day of the year. Virgil gets much less. But that’s not his fault; sadly, your Ma sends less food.

Friday, November 28, 2025, will be a repeat of Wednesday. If you kept the Day Job, then you’ll lose it now. And while trying to recover from seeing your Olds, the question then becomes, “What now?” STAY ALIVE. Ok. But speaking of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 7 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So there it is in black and white. But what about green? You made around eighteen bucks this morning. I swear, here I was thinking about the magic glasses and people make Augmenting Reality, AI, or Alternative Facts, as those effing MAGA Cracker Hats would say, real. FDT! But “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving.” But “The Transplants” from writing to video and back again, well… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Nothing is impossible… You could show yourself right now, hugging your sons. Braxton and Virgil united. You could write an erotic story for a client and dollar, dollar bills, y’all.

Make that C.R.E.A.M. while someone creams. But November’s grade? F! Eff! B’s For November, Virgil

1757 Days Without B III, Day 1198 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I could find someone to cover… It’s the week of Black Friday. I could be a no-call, no-show. Of course, I’d call or go in and say I can’t. Humiliations Galore. I could have a heart attack from worrying about it, “Forty-One.” V Visits Because Braxton.

Thursday, November 20, 2025

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

1754 Days Without B III, Day 1195 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? There wasn’t a vet visit. The maid “Special K” didn’t come over. Your Favorite Girl?

You know the six months prior to her becoming your Favorite Girl. So much barking.

That’s what I’m going to do today, B III. I’m going bark, b*tch, and bu… Uh, TMI, my buddy. Sorry! And I did that over a pair of Asian girls I’ve been watching lately because…

Business, bucks, and who doesn’t like a good bukkake scene… Oh, that’s gross, I know.

But we men ain’t we B. We two, we three, counting your brother, Virgil. Who thankfully left me alone awhile… The food truck wasn’t here today. But what is here, my little one, is this. FEAR. I’m still freaking out. I believe in polite circles, it’s called a “Panic Attack.” So, not Braxton, I won’t be finding courage, and the crying is different—Daddy’s cowardice.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

It ain’t Depression. It’s FEAR. And I’m going to explain it like you were a person. Get it, B? Because people are STUPID. As Snake Plissken said, “Welcome to the Human Race.” B. And isn’t it IRONIC… don’t you think,” that it’s people I’m trying to avoid next week. So, am I going to tell you the story or not? I wish I weren’t so effing hungry, B III. Damn!

Ok, so next week I’m doing something called Return Drop. The critical part B, People.

I had a Panic Attack a few years back. You might have guessed, given that I came back to you early. Well, now it’s on the schedule. Black and white. Black Friday. No way out.

I have until Tuesday to escape my fate, Little B. Then I might be visiting unemployment because, as I was screaming at Inspector Echo yesterday. I CAN’T DO THIS! Braxton…

I’m afraid. I could always drop dead. You don’t know how often I wish for that. And yes, I know “it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it isn’t right. That sht is wrong.” But I’m not the “Head of State” either. Someone who can be scared shtless, sinful, skeevy, STUPID, and proud of it. I’m only a scared man who’s been visiting his Day Job for over a decade. And I believe I’ll be coming home to Virgil next week without a paycheck. It’s called a Panic Attack. V Visits Because Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 141 ~B Grateful For V~

WillLeave a comment

So many years ago, at my Day Job, I was asked to work the return station, and within minutes, I walked out. Now I’m on the schedule in black and white. Wendy’s tried that… Quit/fired. Arby’s? I never went back. My Day Job? B Grateful For V.

Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Journey 141 ~B Grateful For V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Why? Because I’m not grateful… Forty-One? How many years have I given to the Day Job? I’m afraid?

You’re goddamn right, I’m afraid, Inspector Echo. Did Quintus Arrius ask Ben-Hur, AKA “Forty-One,” if he was scared? What did it matter? Forty-One was enslaved. I’m not hmm. America, right…

I can quit, such is the great FEAR. Then I would be living in Cormac McCarthy’s book. “The Road.” Better that than what I’m being asked to do at the Day Job. We’ll get there, Inspector Echo. But while I’m bawling, I’d rather it be for my boys, Braxton, Virgil.

Inspector, if I could survive Braxton’s passing, I can survive anything. I should be telling myself, I’m So Thankful even to have the job of Daddy. Grateful, thankful, dogs, babies. I never feared it ending until one day, Braxton just wasn’t here anymore. And Thanksgiving?

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

In case you think this is awfully soon. It’s never too early or too late for FEAR, my dear lady Echo. So let me give you another one. FEAR of losing my everything, hmm? Braxton?

Inspector, what about the FEAR of dying alone? Besides counting my days at the Day Job, we’re heading into my third month after breaking up with M Anime. So STUPID.

Echo, I mean me. I never learn. Neither at the Day Job, being a DogDad, nor the yearnings of my wayward d*ck. Do you remember, Sweetness? One more hot-to-trot Latina.

Inspector, here I am after damn near stalking that girl to having my heart broken at Forty-One by a Puerto Rican woman. Every day we creep closer to January, Inspector.

Only let’s focus on today; no more on the 26th and 28th. WTF is Return Drop! Please, I know now! Because this morning I was begging like a b*tch to get out of it, Inspector.

Those thirteen hours are going to cost me my Day Job, Echo. Wendy’s? Cashier? People?

I can’t do this at my retail job, Inspector. Let me repeat that. I CAN’T DO THIS! So what’s next? I can be grateful for the wasted years of my life, Echo. Lanyard, Badge, Goodbye.

That’s on top of the Humiliations Galore that I experienced today. Virgil hasn’t said anything. Uh, being a dog. I’m The Running Man, Lieutenant Barclay, The Vault Dweller/Sole Survivor, The Walking Dead, Forty-One, a scared man… B Grateful For V.

“Being afraid all of the time, of forgetting somebody’s name, not, not knowing… what to do with your hands. I mean, I, I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there’s a party. And then, when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable, examining a potted plant.

You’re just shy.

Just shy… Sounds like nothing serious – doesn’t it? You can’t know.”
Star Trek TNG: Hollow Pursuits

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1753 Days Without B III, Day 1194 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s day-to-day for me. Is it the silence or the noise that scares me more? The alarm clock, 2-V crying, and everyone asking me why I wasn’t playing DJ today. Or B III’s loss, my sleeping, and the augmenting of reality… Braxton, A NOISY Virgil.

Monday, November 17, 2025

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not just noise, not the sniff, sniff of my nose, or in other words, breathing. Not nothing or never.

But your son. Though right now, to you at least, I sound like the Can You Hear Me Now” guy from Verizon. That was one of the great things about us, Dad. You talk a lot about how Virgil has my eyes but our ears. Scary, sleepy, satisfied, whatever we heard, everything and then some. And then there was the silence. We were safe, Daddy.

Honestly, how do you feel after today? We’re talking over “The Weeknd” ha-ha because today, well… What could I tell you that you would believe? Steve, Bob Marely, and I.

I want to say that “every little thing is gonna be alright.” “Everything is gonna be okay,” like Blue’s Clues.

I remember Steve from Blue’s Clues. Pokémon. I would sit in your lap as you played video games. The wonders of the glow box. You even did the Dad thing and said it would rot my brain when you left it on when you went somewhere. The bad place? Negativity.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I won’t add to that noise, Daddy. If anything, one of the best sounds in the world spent in front of the glow box was you, me, and my Favorite Girl watching movies together. Dad?

Next to you, hearing how I would call to you without a sound. It was your breathing, the beat of your heart. The being you, not just with me but with her. Second Favorite person…

Yeah, that wasn’t family. But I hope you hear when I say this. My father…

You are my person, my human, my Dad, definitely my Favorite Boy. And today Dad…

You’re still breathing, you’re alive. That’s the noise I long to hear on days like this one, Dad. Is it better when Sia sings it? “Alive?” It’s not like you got to listen to it at the bad place, right? As you would say, that’s not negativity; it’s simply the truth. And you are here, Dad. But if I were there in that bad place with you, I’m sure that my barking would have stopped anyone from asking you anything to hurt you. And Virgil wants to cover one of your ears as you have an AirPod in the other. There’s noise and what’s worth listening to. And what is that? Braxton, A NOISY Virgil

“You’re a special person to the universe in ways I don’t think you know.”
― Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton

“A hideous noise of shouting rose to the heavens as young men fought and fell under the iron hand of Mars.”
From ― The Aeneid

1751 Days Without B III, Day 1192 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Even Jesus said, “It is finished.” Then again, what do I know? “War, war never changes?” I’ve done some pretty effed up things. And in the words of Rambo, “Nothing is over! Nothing!” And I’m not done. Braxton, Boobs, Books. It’ll B Done, Virgil.

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wish today’s question were this. Did ancient Egyptians use contractions? The Mummy? “The Mummy Returns?

I go to see one movie, and next thing you know, a bunch of other stuff comes out for sure.

Fifty bucks! Thirty-five for “The Running Man”: a small popcorn and a blue raspberry Icee. Ha! And another fifteen at the food truck. What is left for you? Apologies friend.

Honestly? The best favor I could’ve done you didn’t get done. More FEAR, less funds.

Seriously, you’re effed! But you have your sons, Braxton and Virgil, new sins, and sleep. Well, not today, since you still need to eat, which means a trip to the store is in order, friend. What have you been doing with all your time? Is “Whiteout Survival” that damn serious? Oh, and finishing Bikini Magic. Eight minutes. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

You have to get back into the habit of being positive. Do you remember that game “Two Truths and a Lie?” You’re a positive person. You miss M Anime. And you’re not a good man. Too easy, but I am sorry I’m coming down on you. Twelve hours. Nothing done.

MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and the president are so much worse. FDT, always and forever.

You would be a much more benevolent ruler. Quite the pharaoh, if you will. And leave it to X\Twitter to show you that there are lines you won’t cross. Evils that must be opposed. And that’s why you’re looking at me and I at you. When, oh when, my lord?

Tomorrow, my “Sweet Lord?” You playing DJ? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You think the LOD won’t be letting you do that again. One more reason Monday is going to suck big time. You want it to be over and done with already. Hell, you wish it was done before we even met. That’s why you lounged around in bed. Again, Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic,” a full-out warring on the phone, and ten bucks on yabbos. Any yabbos, which is an effed up way to play people. You want to be done. E-Day, B’s passing, M’s leaving. And like I said yesterday, you’re standing, “Stand by Me.” You’re on “The Long Walk.” I get to sit down. Now you have to run. You’re “The Running Man” today.

Nothing is done! Until next week… It’ll B Done, Virgil

“Everything is done.”
Michael Townley

1750 Days Without B III, Day 1191 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will