Tag: Lonely

Journey 038 ~Braxton Pledges Virgil’s Oath~

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How many times did I promise myself I would write at the table in honor of my son? And now I’m here because of the damage Carpenter Ants did to the shed, and I don’t want my Old Man kicking my ass. An oath I can’t keep. Braxton Pledges, Virgil’s Oath

Friday, August 8, 2025

Journey 038 ~Braxton Pledges Virgil’s Oath~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Didn’t I do that yesterday when I put my ‘novel’ “My Turn To B III” out?

Well, in 72 hours, according to Amazon. It’s a much better story than the two Carpenter Ants I spotted yesterday. Maybe one. All I know is I caught one on the wall and something bit me. Only I squashed it too fast to know precisely what it was. I’m scared.

Only my lady, can I say I’m a man of my word? I did as I pledged to Braxton… And Virgil too. I kept my promise. I placated my FEAR. A definite NO to that last one. I’m always afraid. And that’s why I’m here again, squishing and squashing buttons and not Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime’s yabbos. Honestly pledges, oaths… Vows! Lady Sophia, we’ll get to that, but first, another Book Review:

So What Are Pledges For:
I won’t plead the fifth on this one. Pledged To Him 4: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Four) by Neil Bimbeau is a pretty fantastic read, but AHEM!

Wanting, needing book number five. Like a man wanting Mambo No. 6. We got Kiki, Sam, Maria, Marcie… Come on, don’t tell me I’m the only one thinking, Uncle Harry.

Excuse me, Uncle Jack, as Dirty Harry sort of vibes. Anyway, of course, the best part, as if no one could see this ten miles down the road, is Yukiko and Samantha with Jack. Geez!

Sweet Summer Child that Marcie is. My “girlfriend” isn’t one for sharing, so I wouldn’t share this with her. But people of a particular lifestyle…

So, back to the present, my lady. I should pledge to stop using ellipses since pretty much every ‘critic’ hates it. But you know what I hate? Making an oath I won’t keep, my lady.

Which would you prefer: a pledge I can’t keep or an oath I won’t keep? It’s the same, my lady. It’s like saying I can’t publish a book about B and I won’t become “Successful.”

Sophia, it’s out there like Trey Songz & Drake. Umm, eww! I can’t defend Braxton and Virgil’s home, and I won’t find the Carpenter Ant nest. I sprayed Spectracide yesterday.

There’s the FACT that I can’t be the man M Anime needs, and she won’t love me. She wants to know. Braxton Pledges, Virgil’s Oath

“I pledge to get their foot off my neck. Instead, I shall demand my respect. I’ll fight, even if I won’t win. Alright, the beginning is the end.

I pledge to make the bosses cringe. Instead, we’ll get some justified ends, I’ll fight til the system is gone. Recite this ex-loser’s song.

Alright motherfckers Fight Motherfckers”
The Oath, Song by Street Sweeper Social Club (2009)

1650 Days Without B III, Day 1091 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

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Standing before God? Please! I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. And the only thing I’ve ‘manifested” besides bringing my boy back is B and V’s potential stepmom liking me. Having to face her, my boys, and the man in the mirror, Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

1649 Days Without B III, Day 1090 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Myself? I’ve cried. I didn’t get paid. Been humiliated. But allow me to be official:

To General Braxton Barks Bradford:
Here on the front lines… The Dining Room table overlooks the backyard. Our lines are holding steady. There has been no trace of the Carpenter Ant enemy in days, General. Though I am reluctant to claim victory. The Captain and I… Your little brother, Virgil.

We remain armed and ready to battle the invaders. Vigilant and prepared, all is stillness.

Yet the toll has been significant. A few inches of the shed door have been annihilated by the Carpenter Ant menace. Several more inches are heavily damaged. No casualties to report amongst the brave who fight to maintain your territory. Though both Virgil and I have received bites from our daily walks and skirmishes from those six-legged freaks, B III.

“We must meet the threat with our valor, our blood, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human (and dog) civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!”
Sky Marshall Dienes, Starship Troopers

To Manager Braxton, Of Braxton’s Savings And Loans:
I know it’s been weeks since I made a deposit. It’s these times, Sir. And with the recent war effort… Not in Gaza, or the war the MAGA Cracker Hats have declared against the American people. I mean the war in “my” backyard, literally. Well my Olds backyard, anyway. The point is, I have been pouring resources into simply holding on B.

Much like Tom Waits singing you gotta “Hold On.” Or Luther from “Detroit Become Human,” I am holding on. And I ask for your patience and for your perseverance, Braxton.

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on
Tom Waits

“Hold on just a little while longer
Everything will be all right.”
Detroit Become Human

The strength you showed as you faced the end, Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Euthanasia. I’m trying… be the body, not the shadow, hold space.

To Braxton, my firstborn son:
I would deny myself before I deny you anything. If you knew how many times I’ve sung the words of Mark Schultz’s song, He’s My Son. “Let me take his place somehow.” I would have taken your place, Braxton, without question. If anything, I should have followed “long ago, long ago, long ago.” You gave me nearly sixteen years of your life as a soldier, the one who held me accountable, and as my best friend. My little Braxton Barks.

Now I sacrifice everything for “family.” I care for you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. And keeping Virgil alive, cutting off subscriptions to save money. Effing WWE channel changes! Anyway, I sit before you today. Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

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I shouldn’t have to rely on FEAR to get me out of bed in the morning to look at a wall outside like I’m one of the MAGA Cracker Hats watching the border. But my boys live here. Their potential stepmom wants to visit this winter. “B Leaning On Virgil”

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You’re my shoulder to lean on. Or should I sing “look over your shoulders, honey!”

“I’ll Be There.” But I’m not Michael Jackson. Hell! I don’t have Neil Bimbeau’s bank.

Honestly, how much can one make in the “HaremLit” genre? Enough to survive and for the family. And I’m still leaning heavily on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” Well, if I ever published it. I’d cry about it, but that’s one of the reasons I ignore your advice of “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Seriously, I would rather cry in your lap as I told Braxton yesterday.

The only way to make my wife wet. Braxton and Virgil don’t need to hear that! But I would cry on Braxton’s shoulder? Excuse me, his Scapulohumeral Joints. And Virgil?

He’s leaning against me, keeping me upright like Pete McVries.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s The Long Walk. First, am I back on that again? I saw the second trailer, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough paper for September 12th. Secondly, isn’t Braxton my Pete McVries? Virgil is more my Stebbins. You, my love, are Jan.

Everything you had to offer me. All of yourself. And I just passed by. Don’t I trust you, my love? Don’t I want you? I am as adamant as I am about wanting children. I’m not one to laugh much. Oh, I do! But the live part. More like the creation of life. And love.

Broken heart and all, “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby.” The Five Heartbeats. You, Virgil, our three two-legged kids. My heart was Braxton.

Carpenter Ants don’t have hearts. I have that in common with my GREAT enemy, hmm.

Speaking of which, I’m leaning on the “Spectracide Terminate Termite & Carpenter Ant Killer AccuShot Sprayer,” and the recent cold snap to protect the house. This is only the second day that I haven’t spotted an ant scurrying out of a hole they made, love.

I’m a man, a husband, a Dad, I shouldn’t be leaning on you. Well, except in the throes of passion. “After all, you’re my Wonderwall.” I can’t even keep the walls of our home up.

“If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do.”
― Far and Away 1992

I lean forward in killing BUGS, BUGS! I lean back for your favorite position, love. I lean left against MAGA Cracker Hats. You’re my right hand. B Leaning On Virgil

1647 Days Without B III, Day 1088 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

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It took a week for ants to destroy the house. I was seven when I humiliated myself on E-Day. When did I discover sleeping pills? When did my maid decide she was done? B was euthanized four years ago. Why can’t I take off? Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have stock in Star Wars, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. Today’s word: “BUGS!”

Sad, right? I am so sick and tired of being sad. The only question is, what am I crying about today? Don’t worry, Lady Lunalesca, we’ll get to the sick part. Yes, I’ll always be sad about my little boy, Braxton. But as I sit here at the dining room table, my eyes are shooting daggers at the wood the Carpenter Ants chewed through. I think about Braxton barking away.

It wouldn’t do much good, like all the products I bought yesterday to exterminate the ants. So much so, I forgot to buy things like water, peanut butter, actual butter, etc. As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel STUPID.” STUPID is sad, scared, and sick together.

Lunalesca, I don’t want to be sad anymore. But Virgil…

Scared? You’re damn right, I’m afraid, which is why I’m sitting here at the table, going out to spray anytime I see a speck of black. I might as well join the MAGA Cracker Hats demonizing black and brown people. Again, for me it’s “BUGS! BUGS!” It’s like something out of Helldivers II, and this is the Massacre of Malevelon Creek. A little late to the party. To think so many months before Lunalesca, I wanted a PS5. Effing STUPID!

Now I’m thinking of saving my ass from my Old Man when he sees this. What’s My Age Again? I’m old enough to have an effing workday, fix a fence, and hire people to stop the Carpenter Ants from destroying my boys’ home. But breathing…

Sickens me. I am sick, Lady Lu. The Walking Dead. And not one bug bite has been enough to release me from the mortal coil. Careful… AI has been dinging me for my ideas lately.

But you don’t know what it’s like, Lady Lunalesca. My STUPIDITY. The FEAR. A cure?

My son, of course. Braxton gave me courage I didn’t know I had. Saving, Protecting.

Where’s Braxton? A box on the nightstand and hopefully somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil’s sleeping on his pillow. Thankfully, he’s bug-free. But this building…

Lunalesca, home? Invaded. And I couldn’t sleep until around 3 this morning. The idea of sex with M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmother. Taking off. She keeps me awake and alive. Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

1644 Days Without B III, Day 1085 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

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What’s it like to read a B on your paper when you want an A? I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t all that bright in school. My head was always in a book. But the books I’m reading now are a tad more interesting. Then there’s the bad news. These Dang B’s Virgil

Friday, August 1, 2025

Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I could tell you about the reading test I failed in the sixth grade. Uh, why?

I’m not STUPID! Now that is a lie! But I can tell the difference between a dog and a cat, Sophia. “Only God Knows Why.” Uh, because I have my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And their potential stepmom has cats. Also, I like when she uses the term p*ssy. (Drools).

But that comes later. If I can tell the difference between A’s and B’s, Archie (renamed Virgil) and Braxton. Why don’t I know the difference between Ants and Bees? Seriously.

It’s been a day and a half since I’ve seen a Carpenter Ant. Did I find the nest? Did the poison get to them? I still can’t rest. Aren’t I sitting in bed again? What I need is to relax and review another book today:

Pledged In Three Or More
It’s safe to assume with Owned, Princess Tamer, and now Pledged To Him, that I’m a fan of Neil Bimbeau. Long story short, or short story shorter, I like this. I’m noticing this author’s works have always had a somewhat edgy tone. Though the Pledged to Him series has a bit more bite. The sex is always good. Of course, the best part has to be the sweet, sexy, submissive Yukiko aka Kiki. Next to that would have to be Samantha’s call and how understanding Kiki was with it. I recommend this story to any guy who would rather have a tablet in one hand instead of a mouse. It seems a tad more educational… With a TOUCH of love.

Speaking of love, Sophia. I like, uh, really like reading M Anime’s text. And I have to get back to answering her today. Because reading anything else short of Neil Bimbeau’s work makes my eyes hurt. But when I have my girl, my woman, M Anime… I think B III would be proud up on the Rainbow Bridge. He had a Favorite girl of his own, and now I could tell him someday, “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag,” with his future stepmom. “I Believe.”

So she says. She wants me to be the one and only. It beats reading about different ant poisons, a grocery bill, or even the Taco Bell menu. And I still haven’t finished Braxton’s book dedication… These Dang B’s Virgil.

Dedication
For Braxton Barks Bradford, my B III and firstborn son
If life is a game, love is your instructions
I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but you’ll always be my pancake
a sweet bond of father and son, woven in every memory
Always and forever
My little one, now as tall and high as any king
Eternally, always your Daddy

1643 Days Without B III, Day 1084 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

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Ants and “High Hopes.” Forget the plants; they chewed through the bottom of the door. B III’s Favorite Girl, his “aunt,’ has High Hopes for me. But my real sister—she’ll be an aunt. If M Anime and I “Marvin Gaye” and get it on. B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

1642 Days Without B III, Day 1083 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up right on time, and I’m still late talking to you. So today?

Buggy and sad. I did cower under the covers longer than I should. Sunrise was at 5:58 AM, and I wanted to be up at 5:45 AM. I wasn’t. I’ve said a few times this week that your Dad is a coward. Why can’t I just be lazy? As a matter of fact, why can’t I just die, B III?

So I cower and can’t die, so what’s left? “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” But again, I got started early. As soon as I got out of bed to walk your little brother. Only I wasn’t crying about him or you. Your Favorite Girl, your aunt, ain’t here. And neither is your and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Though she texted. Porn doesn’t bug her. Yay!

First off, EWW! But give me a woman who wants it rough like Ariella Ferrera and ‘dirty’ like Tsubaki Miyajima from Saimin Seishidou. It’s how you get two-legged siblings, B.

What about your little brother, Virgil? I didn’t forget to check him for bugs today.

However, what about the rest of the house? I don’t have to worry about giving him the talk about the birds and the bees. Uh, yeah. Your brother has no balls. So why do I?

Seriously, ants are destroying the house. Is that why I was crying? I look at what has become of your territory, Braxton, and it’s more like you’re the father and I am the son today.

Denethor and I’m your Faramir. You couldn’t be so cruel.

It’s one of the traits I’m glad you didn’t inherit from me. My cruelty and indifference mean that I don’t give a crap. My cowardice. “Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!” That wouldn’t be you, Braxton. It wouldn’t be M Anime. How can I tell her like Zapp, “I Want to Be Your Man.” And at the same time, “I am lucky if I learn to read and write.. Where I live, you must first learn to stand and fight.” To be a “Superhero” like New Power Generation sings about. But I’m a “Blankman.” How can I eff M Anime, be a father, and have a family? Your aunt would be proud. Ants should die. I’m crying. And bugged!

B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

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If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

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Ants have high hopes, right? Or all bugs. I saw one carrying something white, an egg or something, but it was a piece of the house… I check Virgil for bugs that might bring him down. Trading our lives for theirs? B Trade With Virgil.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Every day that becomes an even bigger lie. I might as well be a Cracker Hat.

A sell-out, a sucker, a slave to MAGA. FDT! I don’t want to talk about him today. But “Here I Am!” What the EFF does that even mean other than the fact I want to be Bryan Adams? What does it mean when my dog, death, or my dame… Dame? Do I mean Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? “Someday,” she’ll “Find Me,” Luna.

But will I still be here? No money, masonry skill, and being “Manly.” I’m only that in the bedroom or wherever M Anime and I decide to Marvin Gaye and get it on, dear Lunalesca.

That comes later if I can stop quoting music. And what about crying over Braxton?

Lunalesca, I’ve cried today because learning any type of trade…

It’s just so hard. I should stop thinking about Cherry’s yabbos as well. What M Anime isn’t my girl… yet. And Cherry doesn’t want me. However, I’ve been talking to her a lot over the past few days. She’s been betrayed. Is that too much Lunalesca? She was possibly robbed, maybe. You know how I feel about the tech world. I shed a few tears about that last night in bed. “Be Not So Fearful.” If I were a Jack of all Trades and wasn’t surrounded by traitors, Lunalesca. Yes, Eff MAGA, Eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! But what am I going to do?

Offer her money for her Yabbos? I am so broke yet buying more books. And never forget, I betrayed Braxton.

I couldn’t save my firstborn son. And as far as my second-born son, Virgil. Braxton’s little brother is bug-free. And what about the rest of the house? I need to clean up Lunalesca. Prison, tomb…

Why? August 13th is Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” I don’t want to remember “September.” And now I see that “The Long Walk” is coming out on September 12th. Should I survive that effing month, “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” I’ll be “Gone Till November.” Will M Anime be here by then? Or sometime at “The Closing Of The Year.” I’m trading my time right now for what? The man I am for a man I could be. Not crying for Braxton and being in M Anime’s panties. Loving, Living, I’m here B Trade With Virgil.

1637 Days Without B III, Day 1078 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

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I finished “Pledged To Him 2,” everything except the previews. I read the words of my friends, who just happen to be girls. And what about my boys? Asleep. B forever. And V needs food to eat, not books to read. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

Friday, July 25, 2025

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, and I have been talking about lots of…

Things my boys don’t need to hear. Ha! My boys, my men, as I’m their Dad, “turning Bad Boys to grown men, it’s on again,” And while “Starin’ Through My Rear View” with my “Toy Soldiers…” Really, Sophia, Tupac, and Eminem? I’m trying to behave. And Gangsta sh*t beats talking about sex. Now that is a lie. But besides lies, what am I trying not to read these days? It’s Friday, July 25, 2025. Congratulations! Failing to publish B’s book.

Speaking of failure, I couldn’t keep IT in my pants this morning. Otherwise, I would have said some dirty stuff to Cherry. She and her Mum are going through “Hard Times” financially. They don’t need Paramore. Or me talking about them sans clothing. Book reviews:

“Wax On, Wax Off Pledge”
In this second installment of the Pledged To Him series, the stakes are a little less dire. And yet we continue with the Why so serious tone… I like it. While I’m not a hopelessly devoted fan of Neil Bimbeau, having only read the Princess Tamer: A LitRPG Harem Adventure series before reading Pledged To Him 2: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Two). The guy knows how to make a great ‘climactic’ scene. SPOILER between Maria and Kiki. But there’s always the whisper of something bad coming. But not this series. As I mentioned about the first one, it is a bit darker, which some may prefer. This one had a different flavor. If my boys were readers…

Okay, so that’s one more review down. Do I want to read “Pledged To Him 3: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Three)?” I don’t want to read that my account is empty because of another zero on my paycheck. Zero working hours, Sophia.

Seriously, what would M Anime say? “Don’t (come) on my face!” Yeah, M Anime and I are having those conversations. Hard Limits, Soft Limits. That would be a Soft Limit, or she says she’s conflicted. But not on “Vis-à-vis my progeny.” Two-legged kids, someday, huh?

Having children isn’t the plan… per se. But if it happens… I want to foster a love of reading in our children. But in the MAGA Cracker Hat world. I’m losing. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

1636 Days Without B III, Day 1077 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

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“Is there a heaven? And is anybody there?” I don’t know about ‘people,’ but my son is somewhere up there. Some angels have such heavenly Yabbos. M Anime, Cherry, and SeeJaneGoTV. Where am I going? Ah, Hell! “Heaven’s A B, Virgil.”

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

1635 Days Without B III, Day 1076 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, Braxton? This month? This year? Most of it, I’ve woken up in tears.

Or something else… Eww! You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would understand. But that comes later. Again, Eww! Let’s stick with my tears for now. Why? I owe you an apology. Next to crying, apologizing to you would be another one of those things that I could do forever. Like something out of Drive Angry. What’s my Hell, B?

“Fire isn’t the worst part. It’s the video feed. It’s not about your suffering, your burning. It’s about the suffering of those you love, because… that’s all you see… in full detail. And there’s nothing you can do to shut it off.”
Drive Angry (2011)

I would be frozen watching you die over and over in that hospital room. Euthanasia. Worse? I could be frozen, unable to end your suffering and watching you waste away. Further? I could be frozen in bed as you cry that Wednesday night, Thursday morning.

Let It Go, Elsa! You’d rather hear me moaning over her Yabbos, or your could be stepmom, M Anime again.

It’s why you had your own room, Braxton AKA my library, AKA where your little brother should be. But of course, I had to check on Virgil. And here’s another sin I should have confessed to Inspector Echo yesterday. The fact that I’m trying to convince Virgil that this place is better than Hell. Hell and sin? Speaking of those two things, yesterday was hot.

Only it wasn’t the weather. Please, Braxton, you know your Daddy and my hoodies, hmm.

The Visual Lady with the nice hooters at the Day Job asked why I’m always wearing hoodies. Considering I’ll end up in the Ninth Circle for my “Treachery.” I betrayed you, my son. Anyway, I might as well be as warm as I can today.

But yesterday I was hot and sweaty trying to create a book cover for you, and AI is way smarter than I. I failed to do it, Braxton, and it doesn’t need to be said, but I’ll fail to have your book ready by Friday, July 25, 2025. Three weeks. And I’m nowhere near finishing.

Braxton, I couldn’t finish “My Turn To B III,” and I dare to try and pull you away from Heaven. Is it nice up there? Because from where I’m sitting, a B always beats an F. Failure and fire. At least I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, a slave to their “Führer” Trump. FDT always

But today I’m not headed to Heaven. Hell’s closer. This house? Heaven’s A B, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad