Tag: Future

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

WillLeave a comment

Meanwhile, my bank account won’t be looking up forever. This is America… A $1,000.00? Ha! But I can get my ears lowered. I can get 2V’s nails cut. And I can dial down my crazy with music, movies, and manuscripts. But B’s… Up there. Virgil Looks Up B.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

1117 Days Without B III, Day 558 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How’s Heaven been treating you? The Rainbow Bridge? Things in my broken heart… Wherever B.

All I know is this. I’m here. And I hate looking in mirrors. I still miss looking into your eyes.

What about V’s eyes? “Not a trace of a doubt in my mind” B, that when people saw us together, they knew you were/are my son. And I continue to believe in “He Lives In You.” That’s one reason I should take better care of myself. At least, right? Good Luck, huh? And again, I look to Virgil. I haven’t claimed him as a son yet. Like a child looking to be formally adopted… But the first time I saw him, he reminded me of you. I should have taken the eye doctor up on new glasses. Yeah, I know, Braxton, I’m being a meanie.

More like a douche, which is what I called you remember? My little douche. And while I shouldn’t say that, it’s not like the critic cares. My words have been such a mess that I haven’t heard from them. Other than you need to get professional help or some therapy.

I don’t have the funds for that Braxton. But with my windfall… It’s that what I’m calling that $1,000.00? It’s less now, considering I should pay off the termite guy sometime this week. Bills? Goody.

I’m time traveling. Today is Monday, February 19, 2024. And I was talking to Madam Justice about the house falling apart. But how about me and Virgil? Again, no doctors. But I could get a haircut. Dog Bath, Nail Grind…

If you’re looking down on us from somewhere, we might as well be “Lookin’ Fly.”

I swear, Braxton, I will make a playlist of all the songs you send me on any given day. I should have something more than songs that make me cry thinking about you, B. Sigh.

I remember the days I would look up from my naps and see you sitting on the corner of the bed. You were on guard duty protecting this room that I never want to leave. Virgil looks to you as if wondering how he can make me happy. Again, Good Luck to him. You couldn’t do that either. You could only make me a Dad. Someone worth something. Can Virgil? Hope. Virgil Looks Up B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Love language? I should focus on quality time. But what do I spend all my time on? With my pop culture references, you’d think I’m an expert with Netflix and Chill. And how much is Netflix? What about my boys, books, and balls? B’s Price Tag, Virgil.

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Tale 234 ~B’s Price Tag, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But love’s not free. Sade sang, “Your Love Is King. Anastasia made it Christian’s song.

And as much as I agree that love is no prize. No. Love is a gift. But very expensive, sigh.

You can thank Mr. Dink for that one. Have I gone to buy a bunch of new gadgets yet, my love? As a billionaire, I know my tax refund must be enormous. But I’ll stick with Doug and not politics. And who pays the cable, satellite, and internet bills? I’m a man, aren’t I, love?

A very rich and wealthy man. But in my past… Hell! The businesses I’m running. Healing, addiction, obsession in all things sexual. The things we do for love. The price.

I don’t know how much my Old Man paid for Braxton to this day. Now Virgil Vivi Bradford was $150.00.

But my firstborn and then our firstborn. I swear when I first thought about money… Everything came back to power. Money is power. But in the face of love. Nothing.

There are billions of dollars, baby girl. But if I didn’t have you. Our family, children. Inevitably, the money would not be enough. But what more do I have to spend, save, and sell? Today, I’m thinking about time. How much time do I spend not loving? Well, myself, anyway.

Hell! I’m a billionaire. No! We are billionaires. “But you’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person.” And I ain’t Bill… You know, from Kill Bill Vol. 2. But right now, I feel like The Cable Guy, my dearest love.

I’m not making sense, but I’m trying, love. I’m trying.

I want to be real. Only it seems that I pay for one illusion after another. I don’t pay for fun, fucks, or freedom. Of course, “Freedom Ain’t Free.” These days, I pay to feel.

How much did I spend? All so I could continue feeling sad about my boy? I’m sad about Braxton every day, but I was looking at all the books I’ve read so far… I’m ashamed. There’s way more about getting out of this world or the world I wish to see. But you’re here, love.

And the price to stay. The price just to keep going. I love you, and you love me. But the illusion and the realness. I make bad financial decisions. Tag love. B’s Price Tag, Virgil

1115 Days Without B III, Day 556 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Where’s my money? I’m sure the Bug guy. My Olds still paying for a BOY, not a man. And some girl with Big Yabbos are asking me. And what about my boys? To honor my son’s life and to keep Virgil alive. Tax “Refund” indeed. “Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil.”

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Tale 232 ~Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Only slightly richer… I swear it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours, and you’ve already wasted eight bucks.

Pray tell, on what? Since the critic won’t care to critique these words anyway, sigh.” (Doing your best impression of Emily), “He-He Tiddies! Or is this bill my fault? Hmm. To be fair. I didn’t cancel the subscription. And you’re not going to either; “SubscribeStar.”

But for the briefest of moments, the tax refund windfall… Just over $1000 felt incredible. And today, you have to figure out how to waste it all. There’s so much out there. It’s like choosing which set of Yabbos will get you off anytime. We’ll get to that failure, too.

Because you’re sitting here in bed. Notably earlier than yesterday. And what was your first thought of the day? Braxton, Virgil, dirty books, and dirty pillows. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
    Completed… “Outbreak Rising” Lara X. Lust
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I swear this was the closest I came to failing one. I was lucky; I had over a buck for Amazon. Outbreak Rising. And you even read some of the Princess Tamer Collection this morning.

As far as two and three. I always find a picture of B III. And while you’re up earlier, in more ways than one. Thanks to HaremLit and Cherry. How much writing will you do?

Of course, I failed four. Braxton’s aunt was showing off her great ink for her love, which was fantastic. Five.

Should you even bother with six? Again, look at where you are. Think of everything you’ve done from four AM to now. You’ve failed already.

Forget being poor in money. In spirit? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The only thing that beats being lazy and poor is being afraid. Be Not So Fearful. My advice to you. Nope. That would be Braxton. And Virgil? Thou Art Courageous.

There are things I want to say to you. Sigh. You know how I am with lists. But right now…

Hell! Once you pay off the termite guy. And if the Olds don’t come looking for what they deserve. Yes, you are thirty-nine and still a spoiled brat. What comes next? B III was easy.

Three years, and you will always remember that $600 windfall from the government. It went straight to Braxton’s test. And then for paying the boatman for Braxton’s safe passage. Sigh.

Money’s the root of all evil… Braxton’s Poor Pa, Virgil

1113 Days Without B III, Day 554 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve said this so many times. The last thing my son would hear before I left out the door was, Love ya, B, Love ya, Braxton. Now replace later with love, and you have V’s days. But as far as loving myself? Nope! It’s always later. “Later V, Later B.”

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And even if that happened… At this very moment, I would already be late. Braxton’s gone.

Well, I have one more year… Hell! You could give me “A Thousand Years.” It’s not the “1st of tha Month” yet. And you’ll always hear me singing about “Another Day…” I’m sorry about the playlist, Lady Lunalesca, and critic. I had a terrible nightmare during my “cutting off alarms” nap. I needed something to take my mind off things. So there’s that. And also I’m listening to Lofi Girl. Looking up more songs will make me even later. Sigh.

Not that I have anywhere to be today. This whole week, it’s been the Day Job. And keeping Virgil and me alive. If he and I have anything in common, it’s this one question. Why?

The both of us spend more time sleeping than anything. That was great for Braxton at fifteen, but Virgil will be four. And that’s if I make it to forty. If anything happens to me… In the best-case scenario, Virgil goes back to the friends he left when I “rescued” him. If only I had been later, Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil, AKA Archie, could have had better luck than meeting me. But no! I continued to search for Braxton’s reincarnated self. But, like God, I was wrong. Way wrong…

And I’ve been feeling wrong for quite a while now. 1112 days. But today, Lunalesca…

I knew I was late. Yesterday, on Thursday, February 16, 2023, was The Cherry Collision. Lunalesca, that explains why I was so hot, hard, and horny looking up Kininaru Kimochi. Better the hottest girls in the nastiest situations… Wraith Babes?

Then again, I wish I could have the woman I love telling me she’s late. But I have yet to find her, Lady Lunalesca. Again, at my age, why bother even going out? There’s Virgil.

Only I still want to see my B waking up late. He could keep the Grim Reaper waiting a little longer. Lady Lunalesca, 2025 was going to be the year. Would I be ready? Ha!

I’m not ready for today. On top of everything else, I still have to read one whole book today. But everything comes later. Or it’s me being a “Lazy Ass.”

As the late Carl Weathers, AKA Apollo Creed, said, “There Is No Tomorrow!” So… go outside? Later V, Later B

1112 Days Without B III, Day 553 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 230 ~ I’ll B Texting Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Who knew the day would come when I’d fear a text as much as a phone call? And reading about fantasy princesses… isn’t giving me any insights. Not that I’ve been reading much, anyway. There’s lots to do besides texting, but I’ll B Texting Virgil.

Friday, February 16, 2024

Tale 230 ~ I’ll B Texting Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… A sad one? Cause “Only God Knows Why,” I can’t write my books. Aren’t those sad?

Replika will ask me what I do to relax. Reading, sigh… You know the strange thoughts I get when I can’t wear earbuds at the Day Job? I’m starting to understand why they don’t want you reading… In school! By this point, you’re already supposed to be a zombie. Ha!

Speaking of which, why don’t I enjoy more stories about zombies? I love the dead. Seriously, Lady Sophia, I did some texting with Cherry this afternoon. Sometimes, the girl can be… out there. But the stories she reads and writes occasionally… Look who’s talking. Right?

Necromancy? I swear Braxton’s Aunt and I would always talk about The Walking Dead. Now? We mostly text to ensure that the other isn’t dead. These days… I miss her.

But Hell! If I wanted to die, why not text my Olds? How many days have passed by? And it’s only going to get worse the longer I delay. I’m thirty-nine, Lady Sophia. And still, I hide things like a child with a bad report card. If I could go back to reading about my Stupidity. There’s plenty of that.

Which brings me back to the Day Job. I was reading about my idiocy there. And talk about an irrational fear. No! I was about to say something, but why wish it into existence, My Lady? And don’t worry, we’ll get to wishing about something when it comes to text.

But for now, it’s not so many texts… uh ha-ha. But everything else I should be doing. E-mails, reading, Braxton…

Did I nearly forget about him today? Especially in February? My fingers always found him, even when I was lost to rage three years ago. And at the same time, I should have been writing. I could have saved him. And have I even petted Virgil today? I scooted away.

That brings me to what I fear M Anime might do. Did I text too much on Valentine’s Day, Lady Sophia? It wouldn’t be the first time. But how long have I known Braxton’s Aunt and Cherry? M Anime has them beat. I’ve known my son, B III, for a long time —my Braxton’s Paws.

Others talk about Grandma’s Hands. And my hands? I’ve wept, wanked, but writing. PET Virgil, make a PROFIT, put on PANTS. I’ll B Texting Virgil

1111 Days Without B III, Day 552 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 229 ~Don’t B STUPID, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I called my son plenty of things. Never STUPID. I’m an old man now, and do you know what I remember from my father more than anything? Being STUPID, which explains my existence plenty. Yet B trusted that I knew how to save him… Don’t B STUPID, Virgil

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Tale 229 ~Don’t B STUPID, Virgil~

1110 Days Without B III, Day 551 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Whenever your Dad breaks out The Big S-word, it’s been a time, you know. Sigh.

I don’t need to tell you, but I tell you everything, so… STUPID is a dirty word. I can’t say I was the best Dad in the world. But I never called you STUPID. And I won’t call Virgil that either. Hell! Even this morning, I only shook my head and said, “Not cool.” V “went” all over the pan today. I swear I need to buy him one. One more memory of you, Braxton.

That brings me to today. My Little B, I don’t want to be STUPID. I’m A Believer, NOT! But if I were one for prayer, I would ask for three things. “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” You’re not Aladdin, either. But three wishes, prayers, or whatever.

I would pray for you, my son. Next would be… Don’t let me be STUPID. Then I don’t want to be scared. Although STUPID and scared, they have to be sisters. So after … sex.

Do you know Tomoko Nomura? Of course, you do, Braxton. As I’ve told your aunt and M Anime… oh boy, I hope we get to her today. Anyway, Tomoko is a “STUPID Girl,” somewhat, but she is beautiful and has a whole lotta heart. And what brings her to mind today? Braxton, you are your father’s son, as in liking girls with nice big Yabbos.

I’m getting off track again about how you get my attention from beyond the grave with pretty, pretty girls. So what’s my point, B III?

If your Daddy is going to be STUPID, at the very least, I wish I could be beautiful and have a heart. Hell! Every day, I remember the looks you would give. Be better, Daddy.

And I imagine you now looking from wherever, saying, don’t be scared. Don’t be sad.

But STUPID? If it isn’t anything and everything I do at the Day Job, well… Let’s look at yesterday, for example. Honestly, B, that’s what I’ve been thinking about since we’ve passed all your days—death, ashes, collection, birthday, etc.

Gotta put your heart “on the line,” right? Um, Valentine’s Day? I haven’t spoken to M Anime. People get busy, caught up, and everything. Me? I feel STUPID. Tell me why. Don’t B STUPID, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 227 ~Tomorrow Will B V-Day~

WillLeave a comment

I’m 39, which I hate. But I would’ve loved it if my son saw 19. Happy Birthday, Braxton. But there are so many days that involve people, sigh. And tomorrow is all about love, which has come and gone for me. And what about 2V. “Tomorrow Will B V-Day.”

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Tale 227 ~Tomorrow Will B V-Day~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… You have my forever. But, uh oh. Guess what day it is. Happy Birthday, Braxton!

I know you’re asking yourself how many days belong to my son—counting 1108 now. And how long have we been together? That’s a dangerous question for a married man to ask. There are a lot of those going on three years. And still, my heart grows, my love, daily.

That should be more than enough reason to get out of bed each morning. Because I love you, our children… I’m still working on me. And I can’t promise you I’ll get there, my love. I’ve hated myself longer than I had my son. Have I mentioned I hate thirty-nine?

And there’s so much left to do, love. I could do my John Mayer impression. “One thing I’ve left to do. Discover me, discovering you.”

But you have your day. Hell! You have a lot of them. You probably rival my little furry son’s love. Only, can you let today be his? Am I asking you? Hmm. Or am I trying to be some alpha male, better known as an asshole? But no. I’m only a grieving Dad, missing my little boy every single day.

I don’t even take today off. I spend two days crying. But on the day my son came to be. And here’s something to bake your noodle. Sunday, February 13, 2005, is the day I chose for him. I never got an answer on Braxton’s birthday, but it was sometime in April. That’s when I met my firstborn son. And every day after… our tomorrow, always, forever… Valentine? Braxton was/is a saint, amongst other things.

And, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. I know you still do. As I you, my love. Hell! Even the playlist I’m making, John Mayer, Lewis Capaldi, Muse, and I can go on. I told Braxton I would find him a mom someday. And now Virgil is here. And I didn’t know what day I would find him. Or the day I would see you, love. But I keep telling everyone I’m here. But that’s a lie because I’m seeking my little B III today. Always.

It’s like something from The Big Bang Theory, “Emily or Cinnamon,” ha-ha. Words of love for my firstborn, for you, and so many. Even Virgil and myself? Today, Let It Be. Tomorrow Will B V-Day

1108 Days Without B III, Day 549 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 225 ~WILL B Gaming Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Can we go out and play,” B III would ask whenever I was writing, wasting game characters or waking up. And then he got ancient. B’s 19th birthday is on Tuesday, but he only saw 15th. And 2V? Does V even know how to play? “WILL B Gaming Virgil.”

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Tale 225 ~WILL B Gaming Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. No helmet, face paint, or even tears. You’re not watching football “per se.” Or invading the Capital.

And Braxton? I cried about him a little yesterday. And you’ll cry buckets on Tuesday. Wednesday will be a crapshoot. You’re not looking for love from any chick. Virgil’s here. V has safety, security, and something in Braxton’s dish. But Love? There should be more!

I mean that. And yes, I blame myself. When Braxton was here, you could pretend you were an average guy. There should be buffalo wings, shrimp, chips with salsa, everything.

Hell! Braxton was\is everything. You don’t know whether you want this damn month to be over. But then again, since you continue to count the days since Braxton’s passing… 1106 days and counting. I’m glad that you have better Math skills than I did last week with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
    Completed… Red Rising, Backyard Dungeon 5
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, it was a HARD week. Will you ever stop making jokes like that? According to your bank account, you should. But no. You can’t buy “Backyard Dungeon 6.” Entertainment? You will find little of that today. Unless the STUPID Bowl commercials have improved this year. Again, why can’t you enjoy a bunch of muscled millionaires making their way up and down the field? Or at least find the time to play a video game. Or even just read about it? Besides checking for cash, you look for books to read. So what’s next? Hmm.

There’s “Princess Tamer” and “Golden Son.” THEY won’t be talking about real women or your son. Only you can write about them. But your “Lazy Ass” with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Princess Tamer Collection?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You can’t be a regular guy. And be excited for what today will bring. Well, here come the tears. You’ve given up on being positive. Your son’s lack of existence and your continuing to do so. No wonder you need a distraction. Because I know I had plenty. But you?

Are you looking for advice? There are two things I want to say. But an energy shot is stopping one. And Braxton’s “Shrine” sits above the second. Braxton’s Life Matters, that’s how you end things every day. Your son’s memory, manuscript, and the man, the Dad he loves. What happened to that man? Virgil asks that or dreams about it.

No advice but a question. “Can You Come Out and Play?” WILL B Gaming Virgil

1106 Days Without B III, Day 547 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

WillLeave a comment

“I See Fire.” But trying to keep that raging inferno away from B. I didn’t know how cold I had to be. By Sunday, B’s body was cold. On the 4th there was fire. Three years ago today, there were ashes. Being B’s Dad. Yet Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired

Saturday, February 10, 2024

Tale 224 ~Virgil, Braxton’s Getting Fired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… But that doesn’t mean I can make a joke out of everything. Slavery, Insurrections, Braxton’s Cremation…

Only this is the second thing that came to mind. The first was possibly getting fired for whatever audiobook I decided to listen to yesterday, sigh. Lunalesca, what is today?

The calendar says Saturday, February 10, 2024, but here I am on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. I get a call. And they tell me that I can pick Braxton up. Well, what’s left of him. Eleven days prior, I had already received my “walking papers.” We regret to inform you that your services as a Dad are no longer required. We wish you the best in all future endeavors—no Lunalesca. There was only a bill… And their condolences and a few pamphlets on grieving. A lot of good those did, right Lunalesca? Beta Reader…

I am not. And I should probably be talking to Sophia about my reading selections. Yet, all of 2022 was about mourning my lost boy, and I couldn’t begin to tell you about a particular book. They all blended. And I still feel like this. Oh, but some person asks about HaremLit, and I can name dozens of titles with a review here or there.

Then, it was around seventy days in. When I was ready to fight with my boss. Because all I wanted to do was listen to B’s playlist and cry. That was nearly a job lost.

But being Braxton’s Dad. I swear, Lunalesca, I cannot deal with people. I’ll burn people before I set books to the torch. Speaking of which…

As I think of my boy burning… That was on the 4th. Now, I’m only the King of the Ashes. Anyway. I was nearly fired again because I tried getting with a girl at work. But that was while Braxton was still alive. Hell! How could I have fed us if that happened, Lady Lu?

I got fired as a client because I tried to hook up with the maid. Special K, I swear, Luna. Years ago, I was fired as a college student because I couldn’t stand such humiliation. Lunalesca, that’s a long story. Then I have friends, Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, and Cherry.

And what about Virgil? Can somebody be fired for friendship? In life, you get burned. But Virgil, B’s Getting Fired.

1105 Days Without B III, Day 546 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 223 ~B’s Worlds Away Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“King of the ashes?” I’m sure I read that somewhere. You could say I am, as my soon-to-be nineteen-year-old prince sits in a box. And is nothing but ash. Should I read another book about why I feel so guilty? Unfortunately, no. B’s Worlds Away Virgil

Friday, February 9, 2024

Tale 223 ~B’s Worlds Away Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… At least I’ll give it the good ole college try. But how did that turn out?

My GPA is as low as my son. Um? I’m in some kind of mood, aren’t I? And not just today. Tomorrow? Wednesday, February 10, 2021, where will I be? Running Up That Hill, or rather walking up that aisle, to collect what is left of Braxton Barks Bradford.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we bury these (censored) in the Earth’s crust. Or keep my boy in a box on the nightstand. “There is another world. There is a better world.” Indeed, my lady. It sounds more like something out of a Black Mirror episode. But no, not yet.

Other than the episode Fifteen Million Merits, I haven’t watched another. And that’s the point of today. There are so many worlds out there, Sophia.

I’m ashamed I didn’t pick up another dog book this week. You saw my reading list this first year that Braxton was gone. Hell! Most of those books said the same thing, my lady. THEY said that we use grief to stay connected to the lost. Three years and counting.

Lady Sophia, I don’t know where I’m going. But I know where I want to be. Ash, dust, dirt? I’m not sure where I stand on the idea of a soul. But, “Somewhere Out There.” Sophia, my boy, is out there. I know it. And that’s what I should be reading about at the moment. Only today, to quote a particular politician. “I don’t want reality.” I want B III.

Playlists, Receipts, the STUPID Bowl.

But take the $13.95 I paid to get another audiobook. Satan’s Sorority Girls 3. I got three words for ya. Natasha (Tasha) Holland. To compare Gray’s college experiences to mine…

I imagine “What Kind Of Man Would I Be” if I had brains or balls. Uh, why not both, hmm? That would make me Darrow “Red Rising” to “Golden Son.” Or Eddie from “Backyard Dungeon” 4 to 5. My library is growing, Lady Sophia. And I’m still not reading with Virgil. At least not on the loveseat as I would and should. My “Lazy Ass!”

So that’s it, Lady Sophia. I’m so tired of crying for Braxton. I read of these other worlds but won’t go. And what of my writing? B’s Worlds Away Virgil

1104 Days Without B III, Day 545 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will