Tag: Lonely

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

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So, WWE Royal Rumble or dog movies with explosions mixed in and loneliness? Every time I Turn Around, Back In Love Again. Or do I really, really, like her Twins? Is B gone? I ain’t accepting that! Decisions, Decisions. “Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.”

Friday, January 30, 2026

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As if I’m the Decider in these things. Wasn’t that Bush? My history is somewhat hazy.

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”
― Andrew Ryan BioShock

Yes, I know “Bioshock.” I know MAGA and Republicans ruin things. They are no longer the party of Lincoln. But what I know most of all today. My son is dead. Well, he was dying this time five years ago. But still, there was so much to write: preparation, A-Hole.

I might as well say it, I’m an “Asshole.” Denis Leary sings it better. But am I an asshole for making bad decisions? Or is it because I decided I’m a doing nothing bum? Duh!

You didn’t come here to make the choice; you’ve already made it. You’re here to understand why you made it.
The Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded

Making the decision and living with it are two entirely different entities. In The End…

Well, Sophia, I’m always wrong. Whatever happened to WWJD? “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Not B III! What Would Braxton Do?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Fight, Feast, and take care of his failure of a father. When have I ever fought? My feast today will probably be McDonald’s. Yes, I said probably. And tomorrow will be more of the same. A burger, and then I have to get BBQ. The traditional meal of Braxton’s Happy Death Day, January 31st, 5th Anniversary. And failure? I’m sitting on the loveseat, and I watch my youngest son. And it helps to pass the time.” Because making any decisions.

Hell! I can say I’m better than MAGA with it. Then again, I sentenced my oldest son, my Braxton, to die. Euthanasia… I hate that word! And I’m still wondering what Virgil’s problem is. I know he’s not Braxton reincarnated. Reading another pet loss book.

Sophia, don’t ask me how I pick out books. It’s like writing “I feel his hand on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thing”. Braxton? Tupac…

Anyway, as I was telling M Anime or trying to. My words, like decisions, are pretty bad, but as far as the past goes, as Eastman imparted to Morgan in TWD. I wanted to say:

Eastman: “What we’ve done, we’ve done.”
Morgan: “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.”
Eastman: “To make up for it.”
Morgan: “To still accept what we were.”
Eastman: “To accept everyone… And in doing that, protect yourself.”
TWD

And as much as MAGA wants us all to live “from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink,” the past cannot be undone. I have the present: Virgil, M Anime, and me.

Will I love him? Forgive her? And will I get a burger? Accept Braxton’s loss… Uh… Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.

1825 Days Without B III, Day 1266 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

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I didn’t see today like this. Five years ago, I got the call that my son was suffering from kidney failure. And I didn’t expect today I’d hear from another lost love, and “Oops (Oh My)” are those my pants? V and B are outside. “Sit-down And B Virgil”

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

1824 Days Without B III, Day 1265 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Around this time five years ago, I’m sure the answer would be Hell No, Braxton.

You were at the vet’s office. But I was imagining that “Big Beautiful Bill” for them to find out what was wrong with you. First off, Eww! Using the words of that orange doofus in the White House. I’m getting off topic, but someone got on me for using that A-Hole’s words yesterday. Blah, blah, “But that’s okay.” Ragebait. I’ll admit it. For the record…

Your Daddy is hopeless. Anyway, I was lying on this loveseat… Was that my meditation phase, or was I in bed sick, sleeping, or stroking it? Again Eww! Really! Seriously!

Anyway, five years ago today, I still had my world. I had you. However, you were in another’s hands. No guard duty for you, as you were interviewing for Heaven.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell! You could have been saving your strength to take on Cerberus, B. Dad’s Hell-bound?

After what happened to you? No question? Treachery in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Braxton.

But today, seeing “Well, we didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” Ain’t I lying? Honestly.

Braxton, this is definitely one of those times I would have sent you to your room for a while. I can’t say your little brother is “HAPPY” with me either. Virgil is literally hiding under his pillow. What? He had the whole damn loveseat for about an hour while I…

Gave into Sloth before Lust! Standing, lying down, or sitting, I’ll remain a “Lazy Ass.”

Brooms sang “Lazy Ass” best. So if you’re wondering why we’re talking right this minute…

A little while ago, I was standing outside with your little brother. And I was wondering what his malfunction is. He’s been here four years! I haven’t figured Virgil out.

Anyway, when I was thinking of going out, I started talking to M Anime. Don’t give me that look, B. “Here It Goes Again.” Locked doors, gates up, and me trying not to do laundry. Eww! But there’s a reason M Anime was nearly your stepmom, and she’s using two of her “assets” to convince me of her and my misunderstanding. Your Favorite Girl wouldn’t be happy. And me forgiving? I’ve been sitting here for five years, and I’ve never forgiven myself for losing you. $455.96 to find out… You’re dying. Sit-down And B Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 210 ~Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V~

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I’m adding “I’m Sorry” to my list. Words like Happy and Home. And sometimes even the word Love. We say these things and then what? It’s complicated. I want to be and mean more. But first forgiveness. For what? A lot. “Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V”

Tuesday, January 27, 2026

Journey 210 ~Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And how long has that been again? Am I asking to die? Uh, this week?

As much as I believe I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell, I have hope. Such mad hope, but there it is. I may see my son again. My B III. But what about you, our kids, and 2-V?

But first there’s you. Ok, I’m lying. First, there was/is my Braxton. My firstborn son.

Babydoll, “I Knew I Loved You before I met you.” Only I can say the same thing to B III.

“I’m sorry.” Two more words I’ve been thinking a lot about this week. Braxton’s last. That was five years ago, of course. Has Braxton forgiven me for what happened? Death.

McDonald’s doesn’t deliver to the Rainbow Bridge. But with enough time, Braxton would forgive me. A good track record, right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Love Is A Long Road.” As long as “Rainbow Road?” Our children, and that’s Virgil too, deserve better than a man like me. A man who can never forgive the boy who grew up to be me. Would it honor Braxton if I could adopt his teaching? Like adopting Virgil.

Honestly, he’s mine, ours, everything we have. Yet “I’m feelin’ like a prisoner. Like a stranger in a no named town.” And “Nobody Knows it but me.” “What’ve I’ve Done?”

Hell! I should apologize for all the music I’m quoting. Why? I’m not MAGA. FDT! Apologizing to this forty-one-year-old man that I am. What does it do? Whose it for?

Seriously, my dearest Love, it would do nothing. It would mean nothing. I hate myself.

“Only you?” Should you apologize, or shall I? What if we both conceded, concur, and come apart in each other’s arms? Submit, surrender, and swear to each other that what’s done is done, and we can try never to hurt each other again. But we will. It’s Love, always and forever. I could never hate you. Though the term hatefuck comes to mind. And why.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? More like “A Hard’s Day Night.” Cruelty? Darling, you can be so “Heartless.” I mourn my son always and forever. And I can’t ask you to mourn a dead man. We’d both be saying we’re sorry until we’re blue in the face, and then what? I love you. Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V

1822 Days Without B III, Day 1263 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

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Are you going to send this to her? B would be giving me that look. But he never met her. But he wanted his Favorite Girl to stay here forever. It’s what you get when you bake him a cake. I’ve wondered about M Anime’s wedding cake. Compute B-V Minus M

Saturday, January 24, 2026

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And as dumb as most billionaires are, I’m sure they know their math. Eff me Lunalesca!

Well, not really! If anything, I should be effing M Anime, but no. I only want to remember this moment. M Anime’s Wedding Day? 5-Month Anniversary of breaking up? Guess.

Because I honestly don’t know. But I’m sitting on the loveseat, Virgil’s sleeping away the day, and Braxton’s spirit awaits my tears. But today is for M Anime. Potential Mrs…

Lunalesca, she’s not anymore, but if I could talk to her… Three-hundred words or less…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

M Anime,
It’s been five months. You ended a friendship of years and haven’t tried for five months. Hell! Neither have I. Because, like that August morning last year, I have no words on whatever happened. I still don’t know. I want to say I was wrong, which makes sense.

But that would make you like everybody else. That I simply being alive is wrong. Honestly, you are better. Or so I believed. You made me believe. Friends, fucking, family.

Love! A thing called love. After my Braxton. God, I told you all about my boys, you picked my brain, and I wanted to share my bed with you. And let’s not forget those books…

Everything I am I shared with you, and you didn’t back away until Sunday Morning.

Seriously, do you remember that? Music. You got me in a way no one has ever done in this life. Well, Braxton and his Favorite Girl? Braxton would have liked you. Virgil would have too. And Braxton’s Favorite Girl was already planning our wedding when I told her all about you. I wanted to tell the world. Someday maybe. Every day since you up and left. And again, I still don’t know why. Communication! Now that was always your thing.

That’s All I Ask Of You! You could have asked anything of me. There were no secrets between us. Am I ugly? Did I not have enough money? Did I bring up Braxton too much?

That last one… Guilty as charged, and that’s never changing. I love my Braxton. And I believed I was falling in love with you. And I wish you all the love in the world, still.

Love, May God’s love be with you always. Always and Forever. I believed in us, once. Compute B-V Minus M.

1819 Days Without B III, Day 1260 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

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Bye-bye, Love. Things I can say about my dog and my ex-girlfriend. But this week, I should be reading all about her. My effable, breedable ex. But somebody else is living that dream. I’m reading fictional accounts. If only B knew. B’s In Love, Virgil

Friday, January 23, 2026

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And not share a review? I’m not in the mood. And I’ve already cried twice today.

One of those being from an effing mobile game. 2:30 in the effing morning for a forty-one-year-old to play Whiteout Survival. I can’t handle rejection anymore. Braxton accepted me. Barking, “You want… every… single second.” That was my son, my Braxton. But no, I won’t be watching 2004’s Dawn of the Dead on the 31st. I don’t think. Doggy movies… Only I’ve gotten into watching The Mill (2023) and Spontaneous (2020). And why is that?

It doesn’t matter, and it’s next week’s problem. Last night, the question was, what’s next?

Do I continue with Pledged To Him 9: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Nine), or A Life Together: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (The House Husband’s Harem Book 3)? Then there’s Braxton…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I could honor my boy by reading Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!: How to Communicate With Pets In The Afterlife, Understand Signs & Why You Will See Them Again. How does that honor B III, again? And V is only five. Four of which have been in abject terror.

Try “forty-one stony gray steps towards the grave. You know the box.” Pop Culture ha!

Because I don’t want to talk about M Anime. Her story or stories? Effing incredible.

Sophia, if I remember nothing else about her, M Anime had a breeding kink you wouldn’t believe. So is that why I was crying last night? I would have been leaking another bodily fluid. Eww! But I was reading about Jackson Breeding his bride-to-be, Yukiko.

It was women like Yukiko Tanaka, Tia Tanaka, Syren, Lulu Chu, and let’s not forget Hentai that got me into Asian women. And if we talk about brunettes… Forever Ever!

But anyway, Breeding. That’s what M Anime and I should be doing right now. Saturday?

She’ll be married to someone else if she isn’t married right now. Why’s that, Sophia?

Breeding. She wanted children. I wrote, okay, so babies. If anything, I was just surprised.

So either she can’t read, or I can’t write. In either case, she’s “Gone.” And so I torture myself with her words, my depraved wants, and Latina women, if you’ve ever wondered about the covers. B would have loved her and Virgil… Not right! Not write! B’s In Love, Virgil

1818 Days Without B III, Day 1259 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

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“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you, and it hurts like hell.” I’ve been singing that a lot: my firstborn, my potential missus. Then I’m reading about a guy with three women. All brides? Where’s my woman? B would’ve known. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

1817 Days Without B III, Day 1258 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Well, I’m sitting next to Virgil. Not your Favorite Girl or M Anime.

But your brother, who was asleep last night, gratefully as I read “Pledged To Him 8: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Eight)” by Neil Bimbeau. Or he was faking it, waiting for me to go to bed. I woke up at 3:45 AM with all the lights on…

Anyway, this is more a conversation for Lady Sophia, but “we men, ain’t we? Glory! Anyway, so I’m reading, and you know your Dad. I’m like an effing Oracle! I have a nose for books. And each one tells me exactly what I need to hear. A man who lost his wife gains a harem and marries a group of his girls. Three to be precise. Two blondes, but an Asian girl is number one.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So M Anime? She was my number one. But she was from Puerto Rico. We’ll get to that B III.

Only I was thinking that the closest I ever had to a harem was your Favorite Girl, M Anime, and Cherry. I’ll never forget how you chose your Favorite Girl. You hated her for months and then sometime in April… Not to be confused with “Sometimes in April.” That movie was effed up and a true story. Braxton, your Favorite Girl, lay on the loveseat and covered her face. I let you go. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

“I got a snow bunny and a black girl, too. You pay the right price. and they’ll both do you.”

Kidding! But you sniff her all over and next thing you know, you’re besties. Traitor.

Again, kidding! That’s for next week. But you love her.

You would be going on twenty-one this year. I wish you were here, son. I’d have to place you on M Anime, and you could have sniffed her out. I would have kicked her out…

Yeah, right! Yabbos blind Your Daddy. Some nice melons, and who cares what you think? All I know is I “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you,” well, M Anime this week. You are my son. Your Favorite Girl and I were “Just Friends. But M Anime? “I’ll Be His Misses.”

Braxton, she ain’t singing that to me. She’s not my Anya Jenkins, Julia, or Melina.

Honestly, your Dad is Forty-One and maidenless. And I’ll never be, buy three engagement rings rich. But you remain. And Virgil. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

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She’s not here, and I doubt she’ll ever be. And how many years were M Anime and I friends to suddenly go, now you’re just “Somebody That I Used To Know.” I knew B practically his whole life. But no wife or kids here. Me, Virgil… “Just B Here Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 20, 2026

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why play “Things You Can Say About Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend” Wife?

“Be Here Now.” Isn’t that from “A Dog’s Purpose”? That reminds me… WTF! I should read yet another book about dog loss next week. Currently, I’m reading another HaremLit book, but we’ll get to that. Like Sunday, January 31, 2021, Saturday, August 13, 2022, Forty-One Effing E-Days. But “You And Me?” I swear I didn’t want to cry today. Effing Lifehouse! Effing Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who would I be if that day went differently?

A “Lonely Soul” sitting in the middle of a “Mad World.” Me and the mutt? Do I mean Braxton’s little brother, Virgil? Tarnished and maidenless, a “geek” playing Elden Ring. Not even a man? Land? No, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. And some make me out to be androgynous…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No! You, my love, know I’m all man. But if you weren’t here… Hell, I’d love to be Johnny Sins. I’d fornicate till my cock turns blue. Effing my way across the seven seas. Forever?

If I didn’t have you, my love, I’d end up like Kaoru from Slaves to Passion/Hana Dorei. I would lose myself to… Beautiful but boring. Did I mention I’m reading “Pledged To Him 8” by Neil Bimbeau? What woman would let me have such a life? Cuck, Harem, and more.

How many women do I know who would allow a harem? Well, there’s you, mistress… Have we gotten there yet? Is that something we could both be here for? Because what caused Sunday, August 24, 2025. I still don’t know.

Children? I want to be a father, you want to be a mother, and what comes next? B and V?

They get to be big brothers. Chihuahuas and all. Like Braxton, “You Are Not Here.”

Honestly? That’s what I tell myself every morning, and then I’m proven wrong. My sin?

“Too sexy for my love. Love’s going to leave me.” Yeah, that’s funny. If anything, I haven’t been here for all the days that I’ve mentioned. I haven’t left the exam table where Braxton died. I haven’t risen from the loveseat the first day I got Virgil, and gasped, “What have I done?” I haven’t left the bed since “the breakup.” Or the place where I was born. But I’m expected. Just B Here Virgil

1815 Days Without B III, Day 1256 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 200 ~This’ll B Hell, Virgil~

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If it ain’t cold outside… I spend hours fighting in “Whiteout Survival” with an alliance I don’t like, to avoid thinking about a job I despise, a girl who broke my heart, and the fact I hate that my Braxton has gone away. So, “This’ll B Hell, Virgil”

Saturday, January 17, 2026

Journey 200 ~This’ll B Hell, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So is it hot in the Fourth Circle of Hell? According to Succubus Lord, it’s nice.

Still dreaming I’ll be Jacob with twenty different women. No, my dreams have not been so lovely as of late. But remind me I have to restart my WANK counters sometime today, Lunalesca. The whole year shot to Hell because of Supersized Slobberknockers. Uh, no…

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

But there were a lot of them—seventeen days’ worth. But we’ll get to that shortly. First, what is Hell? Shouldn’t I be asking, or instead singing, “What Is Love?” I want to look both up, but a crappy computer, plus caving to an online game… Whiteout Survival. And canines. Virgil in this world and Braxton in the next. So Lunalesca, here’s my two cents.

Hell to me is waking up. Different than being WOKE. Fuck MAGA and FDT always.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll stay WOKE ATF as the kids would say… Really? Anyway, what I mean is being awake in the literal sense, frozen, funds lost, and not a friend in the world. Didn’t I say my boys are here? Didn’t I talk to Braxton’s Favorite Girl yesterday? And I even spoke with my alliance this morning. But the noise, the knowing that I’m not a nice person, and the never-ending FEAR. Of people? Of failing my boys? No, I’ll never get over it. I swear I’ll never know ACCEPTANCE when it comes to my son. I mean, call me a monster. My grandfather died in January a few years back. But I mourn Braxton and not some man, Lady Lunalesca. Somebody That I Used To Know.

Like “Me So Horny.” If I don’t go directly to the Ninth Circle of Hell, that’s Treachery for those in the know. I’ll go to the Second Circle of Hell, Lust. Hello Luna, if I didn’t betray Braxton, then all of the ICE agents, Cracker Hats, and MAGA enthusiasts that end up on the business end of the noose will fill up the Ninth Circle quickly—the good ole USA.

Lunalesca, I was all about Hentai, an Asian mom, and women taking their yabbos everywhere, while I made a mess. Eww! Virgil was late getting me out of bed, Lu. I can’t blame him. His name comes from Dante’s Inferno, yet I wanted him to have Sympathy For The Devil. Living? This’ll B Hell, Virgil

1812 Days Without B III, Day 1253 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 199 ~Will’s BV Book Club~

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Join the club, cult? I’ll never join MAGA, FDT! But don’t I want that kind of power? I know people, or instead I’ve read books by people like Neil Bimbeau, Michael Dalton, and my Ex. The only reading club I belong to right now is Will’s BV Book Club.

Friday, January 16, 2026

Journey 199 ~Will’s BV Book Club~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or should I write you a review? Is It A Crime? Or how about an excuse?

Excuses sound best to the one making them… Or something like that. But I’m breathing. I’m out of bed and on the loveseat once. Surrounded by “Glow Boxes,” as I believe Braxton thought of them. And not one of them is a book. We both can agree that my writing leaves much to be desired. Yeah, it stinks. Then, on another, I’m conquering the “ice age.” “Whiteout Survival.” Why am I still playing that again? It’s cold and biting, ok.

Virgil and I can’t do that in real life, it’s so cold… Or am I lazy? There wasn’t any ice on the car this morning. And then there are reactions to a writer who I’ll never be, Stephen King. Or do I want Denise’s Yabbos?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How’s that for a love letter? I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve been writing and not writing lately. And I damn near had a panic attack yesterday about words I had written down on Wednesday. Lady Sophia, I hate MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and always FDT, no question. I got two words from them: Nuremberg Trials. So they know their way around crimes. But I’m African-American. “First, let me explain, I’m just a black man.” I shouldn’t be akin to this evil. Hell, taking my B III’s life wasn’t evil enough? I know?

Sophia, I trust my morality way more than Trump’s. Says the man that wants to own a brothel, a porn studio, and one day wants a Harem-type family, Lady Sophia.

Effing M Anime! You know I’ve watched and read a lot about Cuckoldy, NTR, and Harems. But when the woman I, lov… Whatever! But she’s in some Cuban guy’s Harem.

And as I’ve said, after the 24th, I’ll never mention her again, but that’s a lie. I have to finish “Nightmare At The Meat Market” and “Cries Come Women Come Country.” Those stories are about her “hopes and dreams.” They’ll suck more than Braxton’s story.

However, I want to believe that “Someday, when my life has passed me by…” Seriously?

I want people to have people clamoring, I want a fan club, hell, I want a damn cult for my writing. Yeah, he read The House Husband’s Harem one day, whoopee! Will’s BV Book Club

1811 Days Without B III, Day 1252 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

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I figured I’d leave my boy before he left me. He’d see 20, and I would finally do something about my bipolar depression. Hell, I had that way before I even met him. And I got Virgil from “behind bars.” Yet I SEEK my own punishment… A CAPITAL B Virgil

Thursday, January 15, 2026

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

1810 Days Without B III, Day 1251 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? First and foremost, I’m feeling glad that I made it back to you.

“I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” But honestly, my face hurts (I fell asleep in my glasses), and my fingers are frozen. And if I’m going to get effed, hopefully it will be before Tuesday, SIGH. Eww! And I didn’t mean that kind of effed. Door or back scratching, no.

“Time of the Season?” Braxton, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same.” But in January, sh*t!

While I repeat the day you passed away. It seems I want to repeat the same emotions I had over the course of the month. And the primary emotion included the phrase “Please put your hands behind your back, sir.” Then you died, and I actually deserved some jail time. And I know I’m going to Hell. Ninth Circle bound.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So today at the Day Job was practice. And I think I get what Milton/Nicolas Cage was saying in the movie “Drive Angry.” Did we ever watch that B III? Your Dad and his films.

Burning is nothing? There was the RAGE I felt that whole week. There was the ruttin’ for way wrong things. Full Transparency? But most of all, I remember the shame, B, I had failed you.

I was burning through pages of books that brought the two of us nothing, all so I could work at the place that killed you. My Day Job? The only people next to me. Seriously.

Didn’t I mention rutting? What was I looking at, lusting for, just leering galore, and I thought I’m in trouble.

And that leads me to M Anime. I told her I’ve never met “A Girl Like You” before. And I’ve never met a fur buddy like you, Braxton. I met your little brother, Virgil, in August of 2022. So should I meet a facsimile of M Anime around March 2027? I don’t think so, B.

“I’ll Never Fall in Love Again.” Actually, while I was freezing in that truck today, I believe I was singing “Teen Idle,” you know, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” But I have 2-V, B.

And the first time I got arrested, you weren’t born. Terrible or terrorist as a father, a boyfried/husband, a writer, and a man in “Capital Letters,” I did it “My Way,” A CAPITAL B Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad