Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings. I wouldn’t say what I do at the Day Job is good. Well, with how things are going in this country. And while I would rather not watch it, what else do I do? Sleep away V’s and my existences? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Tale 281 ~B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wouldn’t waste more money on mirrors. That’s one home fixture you can do without. Ha-Ha

As if you even have the money for that. Last time you checked, the tax refund was $390.00 or thereabouts. Sitting, geez! With everything breaking down around you, sitting, sleeping, or committing sins are the last things you should be going for. And how about talking to yourself? Not that you find our conversations comforting. No! Not at all. Sigh.

If anything, you realize that silence is golden. And that there are differences in silence. There’s the silence you miss the most. Braxton, sitting on the corner of the bed. To know such love and protection. Talk about comfy spots. Surprised the mattress hasn’t broken.

Much like your sanity? You’d even take the silence of B’s passing when nothing mattered. Doing nothing… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Outbreak Rising 2, Lara X. Lust
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You know there was a time you would have been all in on hedonism. Only now, it’s like that episode of The Twilight Zone, A Nice Place to Visit. Or the end of Hulu’s 2023, The Mill. How about Black Mirror’s Fifteen Million Merits? There’s listening to Succubus Lord 6 again. That’s where Jacob Ralston enters Hell’s First Circle and explores the city of Limbo.

Where are you going with this? First, all of these men were comfortable, but they were in Hell at the end of the day. And that’s how you’re feeling sitting here in bed, as always.

Second is the fact that you find no comfort in it. No joy or love. And happiness? Forget that word like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Golden Son (Red Rising Book 2)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And yes, you could go all into how, for the moment, Darrow from Golden Son has it all—so you think. But now he’s going home and wants Mustang/Virginia to know him—the real him. And will he ever be comfortable in the Golds’ world? You keep talking about money.

You would be at your best if Braxton were here and you were lying on the loveseat reading books. Of course, the backyard fence would still be up. The sink would be working as usual. You would have a garbage can outside. The drawers in the kitchen wouldn’t be broken.

You could go on. Laying with some girl in bed listening to 50’s Apocalyptic Rock.

Braxton’s heavenward. Virgil’s hiding. And you? B’s La-Z-Boy, Comfy V

1162 Days Without B III, Day 603 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 278 ~Virgil Saves The B’s~

It’s not V’s job to save me. B on the other paw? He wanted to protect me from people, my pa, and the pretend characters in all the books I read. And now I’m pretending that Braxton can read and write, too? Not that Virgil speaks. Virgil Saves The B’s

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Tale 278 ~Virgil Saves The B’s~

1159 Days Without B III, Day 600 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Any day I’m not at the Day Job… I don’t even know. What did we do with days off? Hmm.

I’ll have to look it up. I suppose. But let’s start with something simpler. Do you remember when I read the book Stroke of Midnight: A Cinderella Novel by K Webster? In a way, I hope you don’t. We were boys, but I tried to protect you from that sort of thing. My only son. And I need to stop saying that with Virgil here. But try as he may, Virgil brings no comfort, Braxton. Take, for example, me reading Golden Son. Sleeping off tragedy.

Inevitable? Who am I to say? I stopped as things weren’t looking great for Darrow. Yes, Braxton, I hear you. This isn’t what I want to talk about today. If anything, it’s this B III. I want to give you the chance to speak today. But what words can you offer with everything going on?

I couldn’t save you, and now, instead of letting you rest, I ask you to save me. How many times have you done that in your 15 years on Earth? And how many times has Virgil done it in 600 days? So, over a year and a half? But I’m failing him too, B III.

Dad,
You need it. More than those three little words you would always tell me about. It would be these: YOU NEED IT! Imagine me saying that in barks. You wouldn’t listen to me then. But I’m trying to be nicer now because you need it—and not like that. Ha! I miss my Aunt.

What I mean is this: You need the rest. And I have lots to share with eternity, Dad. Too much.

Is that my way of saying that Virgil isn’t me reincarnated? I’m sorry, Daddy, honest. Today, you don’t need to read anything else to make you sad. And if it’s not words, it’s other things. And you’re right, I don’t know what to do. But if anything, Dad, know this.

Don’t join me. Not yet, anyway. Remember everything that you promised me? I see it.

I’ll be as tall as a king, remember? And I worry about my people. Well, I worry about my human.

I love you,
B III

I can’t ask Virgil, and talking to myself is ill-advised. Scary? But that was something, Braxton. Virgil Saves The B’s

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 276 ~Virgil Digs You, B…~

I’ve got hoes, or I got holes, something like that. I certainly dig one. And speaking of digging. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, people in books, my boy, or the bed I must leave before I die here. Nah! V keeps me alive because Virgil Digs You, B.

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Tale 276 ~Virgil Digs You, B…~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But that doesn’t mean I won’t be in the doghouse. You’re mad, I’m sad, Virgil.

Dogs dig their own graves—that’s a dark thought. But I was lying here reading after I brought Virgil in. As usual, Virgil Vivi pawed on the bed and his pillow to get comfy. It made me think of my son Braxton. It’s something dogs do, digging in their bedding. Braxton stopped doing that before the end. Or at least I don’t remember it, love. Impossible! Because I want to remember every single thing about my B. Not just sadness?

Like that annoying song Boots by Leony that I listened to. Mad as all Hell as my boy lay dying. I dug my son’s grave. But not in the way I think. And I don’t mean B in his box?

Like walks, treats, and fun

Huh, fun! You and me, my love. There is a reason I went celibate for 161 days… Don’t get me wrong, baby girl. I dig you more than Resident Evil 5’s Excella Gionne or Final Fantasy VII’s Scarlet. What? With Helldivers 2 making all that noise. Your man digs games.

Can I talk about Virginia and Victra from the book Golden Son? Again, that’s what I was reading this morning. I wish Darrow would dig one of them enough, too… Well, you know. Because we’ll lie on the loveseat together or in bed as I read it to you, love.

Reading, gaming, anything at all to not show you how much I’m digging you today. Could it be that I’m just dumb and… never mind.

No! It was words like never mind, and whatever, that had me digging Braxton’s grave. To save him from my anger, I gave him my indifference. I lay in bed, not wanting to move, instead of getting up and seeing to him. I would dig in with the Day Job I hated instead of seeing to him. And now that’s the thing. I don’t want to dig anything anymore, ever.

But if I want to join my Braxton so badly, I must prepare a place for myself. Dig In! That means living and not just existing? That would be my boy talking, love, honestly. Digging into books. Digging my girl out, ha-ha. There are graves to dig. I have enemies. Myself? Virgil Digs You, B…

1157 Days Without B III, Day 598 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 274 ~They’ll B Questions, Virgil~

When I was young, I would write out math problems. Never solve them; just write them out. I would try to define science, but I didn’t know any formulas. And I read plenty now. Only I can’t answer any of life’s questions. “They’ll B Questions, Virgil”

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Tale 274 ~They’ll B Questions, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I have a question for you. Why are we talking? You have no answers. Advice? Actions?

Only a mind like yours can take watching The Ten Commandments. Then, turn it into Bumblebee from The Transformers. And then spend this morning asking. Do Dogs Have Knees? Is that a compliment? Somehow. To say your mind is quite unique or creative? Ha-Ha! NO!

It could be as simple as I doubt Braxton would have any answers for the backyard fence. But most of the time, his silence was all you needed. When B did cry… The Last Time.

And now you’re crying. Not sweating from some book? Do you think you’ll finish Golden Son this week? And you’re not spilling anything. Come on, man, it’s Easter Sunday, sheesh! Not that you’re religious or anything. Priests look at themselves. But you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing Hearts by Jameson Evan Salas
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The reason you didn’t let Braxton have a say this morning is that you rather like how he talks now. Nothing’s better than having him in your arms. Next comes books, beats, and benign memories.

There’s not much kindness in the brain you carry. You’re listening to zombie moans again. But it could always be worse. Remember, it is a holy holiday. Only last night while I was watching The Ten Commandments. I was cleaning out the phone, which included plenty of photos and videos of moaning. And then there were the holy rollers moaning.

But what do you do day and night? You will have all these questions. And when you can’t answer one of them, then what? They’ll become like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined, Uh, Golden Son
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I don’t have any advice to give you. And why pretend you’ll accomplish any of these things? You’ve already failed 6 and 5 by waking up and being broke. And with what the Day Job pays you. If only you accomplished 3? That would mean you have time for 2. You keep thinking about 4, so there’s little hope there. And number 1 should be Golden Son. But you won’t make any promises there. That’s everything. So, here’s a question.

How are you going to live this life before you?
How will Virgil Vivi live?

Because existence is always in question. And it’s not an answer either. You’re not Darrow.

He has so many questions, but there is always an answer. But with your existence/life? Sigh! They’ll B Questions, Virgil

1155 Days Without B III, Day 596 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 271 ~V’s Language To B~

It’s harder to lie if you can’t speak. Or if you’re crazy. Then there’s the gibberish. I could also talk or not about the dog speak. I clap at Virgil’s successes and hope he gets right from wrong. Like me? It takes language skills… V’s Language To B.

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Tale 271 ~V’s Language To B~

1152 Days Without B III, Day 593 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Do you remember asking about mine? No. I’d fall asleep while you would stand guard.

I don’t want to cry today. And to be clear, it’s Wednesday, March 20, 2024. So yes, Braxton, the Day Job is still rough. Indeed, this entire existence, which everyone considers Easy Street, is… Well, Hell! And not one person understands Braxton. Oh! I don’t talk and such, THEY say.

You aren’t a person. But you were far from a pet. And a pal? B, you are always my son.

And I miss talking to you. I miss having someone who understands me being here. Braxton, that’s what I’ve been thinking about over the past few days. I swear! Computers, critics! Company? No one I’ve invited has been here in a long time. Virgil Vivi? Inevitably, we’ll have to talk. But now breathing is enough.

And at the same time, too much. How can one be so quiet and, at the same time, so loud?

It’s safer to choose the former. That’s why I talk to you, the girls, and the man in the mirror. But even then, there’s The Critic. And either THEY think I’m depressed or I can’t be understood. I would even take being crazy if THEY at least got me. Contradictions!

And don’t get me started on censorship. If I wanted to say a dirty word, why not this one, Braxton? “Euthanasia.” It was the last misunderstanding between us. You didn’t understand why you were leaving. And I’ve never bought into such a clinical term, B.

You didn’t disappear. You didn’t. You only died. And I would have followed you. My son. My lieutenant. My prince.

Now you and I know where all that is from, Braxton. But I won’t even bother with The Critic. THEY won’t ever get it. But again, I want everyone to know. I’m not like Cherry.

Braxton, you are much smarter than I am. You understood why I was writing all the time… for us. So you could appreciate Cherry’s work. We knew cantaloupes and melons.

Virgil, on the other hand. I need to learn his language because I’m ready to give up on people and their creations. I don’t know how to communicate with them. While I’m spending money not to talk. How much are animal communicators? You’re gone. Virgil’s not. V’s Language To B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 269 ~B Gives Virgil Space~

When I say I will “Go The Distance,” it’s like my mind finding anything intelligent. Or having a family that includes more than a four-legged friend. What about being *happy.* There’s no space not with my grief and fear. “And Virgil wants room.”

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Tale 269 ~B Gives Virgil Space~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… To the moon and back? How about if the sun should refuse to rise, love?

You’ll have to forgive a friend here or there texting me about space. And you know your husband has always been into Star Wars. For that, I won’t apologize. But distance, space, and the void? My love, have you yet to understand how great my son was in this existence?

What do I mean was? Take yesterday, for example. Anytime I’m afraid, or something becomes too overwhelming. I remember the worst thing I’ve survived. Euthanasia! Specifically, the loss of my firstborn son, B III. And then everything else seems livable.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon, I took Virgil to the groomers. While waiting for him, I saw a dog crate that doubled as a nightstand. A place for B III and 2V, my love. My furry sons.

The idea of making space for them both together? And yet Braxton in his box. Or wherever he exists. And Virgil lying in a soft bed underneath. They’re both far.

Remember earlier this morning when Virgil Vivi was upset over the storm? Whether he was in our room or Braxton’s, the space between him and me doesn’t matter, my love.

I was driving to pick Virgil Vivi up, and I was thinking. If PetSmart harmed him? I have two words for them. John Wick. But I can’t say I love Virgil. Nowhere near my Braxton

But What About The Rest Of Us? V isn’t going anywhere. And there are always you, our children, and a few friends. I’m not counting myself. The man I am. I want him far away.

Only that’s the man you fell in love with. Underneath these clothes is an endless story. And the man you chose. I swear, Shakira, Shakira, ha-ha! Bragging about my manhood?

But seriously, The Space In Between Us, my love, this is what I’ve been thinking about all morning. I keep saying that Braxton is sending me messages from books lately. Between how to keep a fur buddy’s memory alive and Darrow protecting his friends, too.

Now, ask me what that tells me about being close to you, my love. All of my fears, the fence, and our finances. Braxton got so close to me before I knew anything, love. While you had me saying Somethin’ Stupid. B Gives Virgil Space

1150 Days Without B III, Day 591 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 267 ~Virgil, You Better B~

First thought today… well second. V, you better not be throwing up all over again. He might have a sensitive tummy. But like Little B, he demands my lunch. And I haven’t been sharing. I’ll stick with the bully in the mirror. Virgil, You Better B

Sunday, March 24, 2024

Tale 267 ~Virgil, You Better B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And if I were going to give you any “productive” advice, I’d say, don’t be a bully.

I spoke yesterday about watching a bully get their comeuppance. Even if said bully had reasonable cause. You know what you would do if you could blame anyone for Braxton.

No, it wasn’t the veterinarian’s fault. And as much as you want to blame the Day Job, why were you there after all these years? This is one of the reasons you want to buy physical copies of books—so you don’t have to see how many years you’ve wasted.

Hearing such things from bullies would be devastating. You long for the days when all they had to talk about was your looks, lack of strength, or they called you a loser. Well almost. Now there’s your Day Job survey and my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 7 by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 005 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

How to be better? I wouldn’t have to ask if I could get to number six, ever. “What can a brother do for me? He can help me be the best man I can be.” But Braxton is still gone.

Seriously! The only thing worse than seeing those words is looking at the nightstand or opening Braxton’s box. Is the man in front of you. You are going to be your biggest bully this week. You think, “it’s no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy.” A fact.

But to others… Well, last night, I made a list of SPACE songs since M Anime’s excited about the stars. And here on the ground, you clapped for little Virgil.

But there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Healing Hearts by Jameson Evan Salas
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 005, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And no, you won’t be finishing Pierce Brown’s Golden Son this week. And why not? You’re worse than that girl who threw your copy of The Amber Spyglass. I swear!

Somehow, you have a whole week off from The Day Job. Nearly. But you’ll read another book on your Fur Buddy passing away. Am I Wrong? No! Because, at the end of the day, you’re a bully. But you know you are. And yet, because of the criticism, censorship, and…

Cash? Rather, the lack thereof. Existence is a bully demanding your lunch money daily. You better fight back then. Play the part of Darrow? Is B III really suggesting books? Maybe if you were a better man… Braxton was the best. Virgil, You Better B

1148 Days Without B III, Day 589 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 264 ~Will B Painful Virgil~

“Cause all you ever say is “What’s the point?”” I could try that on the critics, but THEY never get me. B would. And even if he didn’t, I liked that look he’d give me. That “Seriously, Dad!” It pains me; I’ll never see it again. Will B Painful Virgil

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Tale 264 ~Will B Painful Virgil~

1145 Days Without B III, Day 586 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know how my days are. Nine times out of ten, I’m bleeding and broken.

It’s one of the reasons I always washed my hands before touching you. Blood, sweat, and tears. You didn’t understand how the world is, Braxton. But you were prepared. Ready!

And I’m sure you know now from wherever you are. The Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, Hell?

That’s one of the things that I have yet to hear from you. Where’d You Go? But you’ve been speaking to me more from books than whatever I have booming on the phone, B III.

It pains me to say I don’t remember all of it. And it’s only been a few hours, Golden Son.

B III, the second most painful thing this week (losing you is first). But saying what I need to Say. I mean, every single day.

I am. Braxton, I’m trying. But according to the critic and everybody else, I’m everything. Everything but understood. That could be why you’re trying to use the words in books instead of music. But I’ve been thinking about this sad song. Even by Julien Baker

Braxton, it was in that movie Spontaneous. It was the first film I remember watching after you were gone. Now, how could such a Black Comedy make me smile? Hmm.

Anyway, I figured it out. Everything is connected, B. You and me, always and forever.

In what I was reading this morning, Evey said she hadn’t felt pleasure. But the absence of pain. With missing you, it’s not the pain I want gone. I want it evened out over everything.

Which leads me to Virgil. Yes, he was mentioned, too. I keep telling you, Braxton. Like when The Man Comes Around, everything else does. Connections, communication, and this comedy are my existence without you. “Lost as Dante before Virgil.”

Keeping Virgil is spreading out my pain. The sadness and loneliness. Anything physical, I will bear myself. That’s why I freaked out when he was sick. That’s not his punishment.

But my happiness or any pleasure… I can make believe. Happiness doesn’t exist for me.

Pleasure, however, if defined as the absence of pain… That dream can come true, Braxton.

And you might be the only one who understands. Because I can hear the critic right now saying… “What?” Me talking Will B Painful Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

Breathe in and out. It’s a simple thing. But I got the paperwork from the vet’s proving how hard it is. I have more than enough from the Day Job, doctor’s office, and my dad. I hope to have some for a bigger family. Hmm. Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Tale 262 ~Love Lies, B…eing Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… And it hurts sometimes. Good morning to you. But pain, fear, and missing my boy.

The things that get me up in the morning. What about love? It’s at the core of everything, my love. But I know what you’re asking. “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” With us?

Before we go any further, is that today’s tunage sent by my Braxton? Please! Ha-Ha! Neither is the zombie ambiance that, by the day, is more and more of a habit to listen to while writing. Why not listen to you, my beautiful wife? I love you. Those three words.

Always, always, I long to hear them but there is so much more. So much that it overflows, overwhelms, and overtakes me. And all I’m trying to do is keep breathing for a moment longer.

To hear my Braxton breathe.

But what about you, our children, Virgil, all the things I’ve built, all we’ve created? Dearest, “Hey Lover,” I’m being bombarded by the winds. Even now, they’re turning my pages… Not literally! I usually read on a tablet. There’s the sound of Haley playing, trying to blow away the sounds of the dead with her “Hurricane.” There’s in and out…

Breathing, my love, I wonder.

Why? So I hear, I love you. And I do, my love, always and forever. I will always mean it. But it is the same for my Braxton. It didn’t end when he lay in his bed and fell asleep.

Like father, like son, love.

I’ve been a fan of The Walking Dead forever. But when Braxton joined the Dead…

Where he goes, I will follow. But not this time, because there’s all this Air. How do THEY say, water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink? Air, Air, everywhere, and not a want to breathe. But because there’s love? To think those that I love would outnumber B.

And if I were to lose you or anyone, especially by my hand. Is that why I lie here, love?

Isn’t that what took my Braxton? The day he needed me, I wrapped him up in my arms and slept away the humiliation, heckles, and hatred of all those who would draw breath. In particular, myself, the man in the mirror? I miss my B III’s eyes looking towards me.

Yours? Love Lies, B…eing Virgil

1143 Days Without B III, Day 584 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

I prefer “not too bright though” to STUPID, or village idiot. That is one of the reasons I don’t talk to my Olds. And hate the Day Job. But I try to be bright? I read. I adopted Virgil. I wear a smile like a “magical negro” Let’s B Bright Virgil

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Tale 260 ~Let’s B Bright Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And as with most days, I can’t stand looking at you. That’s how you wake up? Hmm?

Spending Money? Listening to Monsters moan in the background. Reading about a man and the Many women he’s having… relations with? At least you’re not watching it. “Am I Wrong?” And always, always, there is Missing your son. If only B III were here now.

Would you be… brighter? Smarter, cheery, or kinder? Whatever you hold bright to be at the moment. The only thing things bright right now are screens and the lamp shining.

Because being, you don’t know, better… well, that’s a dream. But thanks to that energy shot you took… Yeah, you won’t be wasting any time until 11:00 AM. Lying, really.

Whenever it comes to being lazy or making up an excuse. And your favorite? That’s failing at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Healing Journey of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

THEY say you’ll go blind if you keep touching “it.” It may be odd that it can apply to #1 or #4. Whenever you cut on the screen in near darkness to read. I swear one of these days. And again, you could be doing something far worse. How many ladies have you seen from 4:00 AM – 7:00 AM. In three hours, have you been anywhere close to productive? Hmm.

Grieving for B III and ensuring 2V is ok is not you wasting time. But you still feel pretty bad. But it’s better than a couple of days ago. Just wait. I said plenty, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.”

Is that the first song of the day? I’ve heard it like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 7 by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If you can’t be happy for yourself, why not for others. You can lighten, brighten, or shut the “you know what” up for some people. Only Cherry would like to hear your thoughts on her writing than her other… assets. But I’ve never been bright with girls. That’s for sure.

You’re feeling bad that you gave Backyard Dungeon 7 only four stars. Five’s too much? And what about “The American Society of Magical Negroes.” I’m sure the critic will love hearing that title. But I told B’s Aunt it was a decent three out of five. So you can’t talk.

Never saying anything nice, needed, or noteworthy. What’s in your head, bends over, bounces, or involves Braxton? But smart and bright… Let’s B Bright Virgil.

1141 Days Without B III, Day 582 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will