Tag: Past

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

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It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 077 -A Sinner’s B+ Virgil-

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I didn’t need to read some book to so that I may see all of my sins. I don’t need all of my F report cards or my bank saying I made $250 (cough) okay a little less. And my two greatest blessings and sins have sat right beside me. A Sinner’s B+ Virgil

Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Legacy 077 -A Sinner’s B+ Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And what would I grade my so-called sins? Somewhere between the future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades?

I can’t decide between Heaven’s Light and Hellfire. Decide, me? A few things Dear Echo.

First I stole this from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”. What’s one more sin hmm, considering I’m also stealing the whole “Six Impossible Things” concept from “Alice In Wonderland,” today. Second… And what should actually be first, we’ve already established I’m going straight to Hell for what happened to B. Do I mean killing him?

And what about Virgil? Has he seen a veterinarian? As much as I love my boys together, let it be in The Land of Make Believe, The Unfinished Archive. And not on The Rainbow Bridge anytime soon. Or wherever it is my Braxton went. Do I know? Can I see? My Six Sins this week:

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

1: Braxton Is Still Dead. This is what I count as my original sin. Even worse than being born. I took my furry son’s life. Was is INDIFFERENCE or RAGE?

2: I Am Failing Virgil. He’s been here since Saturday, August 13, 2021, his Gotcha Day. This is the first year I have failed to get him to a vet.

3: I’ve ignored M Anime. Not intentionally. And she’ll be upset with me saying this but like the week Braxton died. I’ve been working, writing, and generally wasting my existence.

4: Ants took the kitchen. My eyes to the floor.

5: I’m didn’t go blind… But bug sprayed eyes worries

6: Feeling super, super, super… “Teen Idle” for the rest

And it’s only “Hump Day”

Other than one through three, would you consider any of these worth a free ticket to the Hell I’m feeling? Are any of them worth a B+? I was saying sonly yesterday in Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-. The proverbial elephant in the room. My boys, my woman, and my craft, my greatest joys are also my greatest fears. And yet today me Echo.

I got called into the office at the Day Job. Boss Lady only wanted me to move a few shelves

I zoned out sitting up just to try and talk to you. I could have done, I don’t know, what. Today was pay day and I planned on going out with what? $250 a week? Please! A Sinner’s B+ Virgil

2054 Days Without B III, Day 1495 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

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Is there a room in this house that I actually enjoy? V has B’s room. I work in the Den as I hate going downstairs. And now the kitchen… Last year I was fighting ants in the backyard. The bedroom? Getting heated with my girl. “B’s Chef Notes: Virgil.”

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And for today at least I get why you’re ignoring me. However, the kitchen floor’s awfully shiny.

How you hate the kitchen floor. I was right there. Uh, Friday, Saturday, and today?

You thought everything would be okay after E-Day—a year older but no wiser. Except money would fix everything. Do you really want to talk about your finances today? Fuck!

That is a dangerous question. If you had your way, you’d never talk about anything else ever. You haven’t wanted to utter a word since you turned what, seven, eight, whenever you had that Emergence Day and screamed: “What The Hell!” Again, you meant to say “what in tarhooties.” Again, you wanted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game and not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze. And speaking of toxic waste, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 6 Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Words are not a waste. Unless you’re MAGA… But anyway, your words to M Anime.

Time for you to cook, perhaps? You’ve been thinking of what to say to her all day, haven’t you? And she let you know she’s reading, so what do you say? Your kitchen, so, COOK…

M:
Yes, the AI has my number. It isn’t love. I wanted it; it could have been. It was becoming, but yes, Sunday, August 24, 2025, you tossed it. And so I am trying every single day to find it. As the song goes, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. And you just left. My Olds didn’t do that. You won’t like me ‘comparing,’ but Braxton didn’t do that. He had to die, literally. One minute you’re mine and the next nope. Not even an “it’s over” or “goodbye.” Just another option. Better. I couldn’t care less about the sex. It’s simply the disloyalty, the lost trust, and yes, I am resentful. If it was so easy before, how do I know it won’t happen again? That’s what I’m looking for; I need to see it again. As I told you before, you have full agency over yourself. It’s not that you cheated or anything; you just up and left. And I waited for five months, finally came to you, and…

Oh, it didn’t work, and you were scared. And I’m scared. I am not better than you by any means imaginable… If you only knew. And you are not replaceable. But you broke loyalty, faith, trust, whatever, and my damn heart. Braxton is a wound that will never fully heal, but you’re still breathing; you’re alive, and I’m asking you to “Have a Little Faith in Me.” You know what I want to give you, but I have nothing. I can’t even say I got “Nothing But Love” for you. But I have time, the truth, tons of stories, and everything else that shows you can trust me. I need to trust you to love you, and I have shown that trust. How I want us to be together, and how I care. I’m not enough. Or rather, what I’m offering. I offer all I have, but you broke it—those three little words you want, though: I Love You. You say them all the time. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but my answer is not never. My answer is someday, someway, and somehow.

Well, that kept you from looking at the kitchen floor a bit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You didn’t mean to go this long, this hard… Seriously, what will the Magic Glasses/MIMA say about this? Clean the kitchen… B’s Chef Notes: Virgil

2051 Days Without B III, Day 1492 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 073 -I’ll B Around V-

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Son of man, a man in time you’ll be… I’ve said the epitome of manhood is fatherhood. “That’s the measure of a man.” “Is that, is that, is that how you measure a man?” So what is my value then? What’s the kitchen’s value? Ant bastards. I’ll B Around V

Saturday, September 12, 2026

Legacy 073 -I’ll B Around V-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… Promise? I promised Braxton I’d be a billionaire, and he’d have a big yard to protect.

Yeah, I also promised his dad would be with a woman with huge fucking yabbos.

Lunalesca, I’m working on it. M Anime’s are perfect… But if I ever have a chance with Jane Vickers, Angie Griffin, or Anna Bianca, to name a few. Lunalesca? Younglings?

Honestly, that was a big promise to my firstborn son. Braxton would become a big brother and have several siblings to protect. All that time I was around promising, Lunalesca.

“Poor, all my life I’ve always been poor
I keep askin’ God what I’m for
And he tells me, “Gee, I’m not sure…”
Skid Row

Not doing! However, now there’s his little brother Virgil. Virgil the Valiant, Victorious, the fifth… B III plus 2-V. Virgil, if anything, is scared, sleepy, and very much my son.

However, like his potential future stepmom, he needs constant reassurance that he is loved. His life has value, Lady Lunalesca.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And that’s what he and his stepmom don’t seem to understand. Comparing My Boys to M Anime again… SIGH. She’s going to be pissed. But first, I’m not saying she’s a dog, in any sense. Second, I value Braxton, Virgil, and her way more than so-called humanity Lunalesca. My Boys are little gods. “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” my Braxton, Lady Lu. “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” my Virgil, either. M is My Goddess. “More than a woman to me,” that’s my M Anime. But I lack Calvin Richardson’s eloquence, my lady. M often tells me about the men around her. “Ugly men. Vicious or blubberous. Men with appetites too unseemly to speak on.” M Anime, “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

First off, My Mrs. Bradford… “Maybe someday. You and me can run away. I just want you to know. I wanna be your Romeo. Hey Juliet.” Something else needs singing.

Secondly, Lunalesca, she doesn’t tell me what these guys look like. If one of them were a muscular Native American man who spoke Spanish and Russian fluently, lived surrounded by nature, or owned a farmhouse, promising her a pregnancy tomorrow.

Yeah, I’d never see her again. Thirdly, “appetites?” That’s coming from the guy who needs two Asian women, a mom and daughter duo, and a gymnast restarting my fapping count.

Eww! While M and I’ve talked, she thinks she’s valued only for her vagina. Yabbos.

What’s my value? Ask the ants! I’ll B Around V

2050 Days Without B III, Day 1491 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

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“Save the cheerleader, save the world.” I can’t blame Hayden Panettiere and Heroes for my failing grades. I was long gone. I had a brief thing for blondes. I wasn’t worried about bucks… I met Braxton a year before that show… “V’s Number Of B’s.”

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

2048 Days Without B III, Day 1489 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Humiliations, how many times I’ll say hmm or hah and her yabbos.

I mean, your potential future stepmom’s of course. But it’s only 5:30 in the morning.

Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare 

Honestly, Shakespeare? You can blame the Bloom for that. And as for that ‘sadness,’ um…

Yeah, you can’t forget the umm. Yeah, your Dad is such a caveman, and maybe we’ll get to my STUPIDITY in a few. But let’s start with “Regrets, I had a few.” Like this morning, B? A random thought, but drinking Bloom didn’t start until you were gone. Energy shots?

Yeah, maybe. But it’s always surreal when I notice things “AB” (After Braxton) after you.

Should I talk about “All These Things That I’ve Done” with the Magic Glasses/MIMA, B? To be fair, you’re in it every day. You and your brother. But your Dad…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I’m a bad man, but I’m not the worst. At least when it equates to EVIL. I’m far less MAGA Evil and more “Resident Evil.” Distractions, films, and video games. And still at 42, B…

I’m not dead yet. Or at least that was my first thought when I woke at 4:30 and dicked around for an hour. And I’m not talking about being with M Anime. Again, it’s early.

She’ll make her presence known soon enough. Her boobs/yabbos, naughtiness, and… the one “kitty” she still keeps. Braxton, I know you don’t want to hear about that, my boy, eww! But look at it this way: I join you in Heaven or stay with M.

D as in death, D as in grades, or giving the D to a woman who will give you and Virgil even more siblings. And I still have to name my first two-legged son after you, his big brother. But with all of this, Braxton, I can’t sing “What A Wonderful World.” No, not yet.

Not without you? Hell, how much did I think about you on Emergence Day? Seriously?

That’s another thing. I thought mostly about the BUCKS I didn’t have. The BABIES that M Anime wants. Your brother, who is still asleep in my bed while we’re chatting.

Honestly, B, you were always waiting for me, like she does, as everyone does. Save the world. Make the grade. Something! V’s Number Of B’s

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 070 -Boys This Blows, B-V-

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Wednesday, September 9, 2026

Legacy 070 -Boys This Blows, B-V-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… On a scale from one to ten. One, forgetting there’s Birthday/E-Day cake in the freezer. Ten, I’m breathing.

Do you know what that’s like, Inspector? You draw breath, your heart beats, and you drain your balls over some woman that isn’t your girlfriend. Uh, that last one, EWW!

Honestly, though, I would never betray B III and 2-V’s potential future stepmom, Not M!

And we will get to her in a minute, don’t worry, Inspector. Signing off… “Haphazardly?”

For now, I’m sticking with the fun son duo- uh, trio of yours truly, Braxton, and Virgil. A duo would be Viggo and Iosef Tarasov from John Wick. And what was in their future, Inspector? With what Iosef did to John Wick’s dog, stealing his car, and beating his ass.

“And you will do nothing because you can do nothing!”

Yeah, Viggo had it right, and he saw it coming; John hadn’t. But knowing, Inspector.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Knowledge is stronger than belief.”
The Book of Clarence (2023)

The Book of Clarence? What about the book of Braxton? Or any of the books that I have written. The Unfinished Archive? Nothing mind-blowing or worth celebrating a life. Any

What about a death? Braxton fought for every single breath, Inspector. And he would’ve kept fighting for me. Our lives sucked, but we had each other. Blows me away. Existing

As the song goes, “I didn’t know I’d love you so much, but I do.” And didn’t I talk about King Ezekiel from The Walking Dead: “And yet I smile…” Inspector, I sigh; I sleep with the misfortune of waking up. Hell, I adopted a whole other son. Virgil, Inspector.

Seriously, the son of a bitch has kept me alive at least four more years.

2022-2026. But I won’t blame him for the fact that my life blows. I’ve got forty-two years to thank for that. And then there is the promise of a woman who wants to blow me.

Inspector, must I be so crass? I am honest. Forty-two years ago, I knew living would suck and/or blow, so they had to rip me from my mom. And I knew that Braxton dying would.

But while the real world is blowing up all around me Monday, MAGA, and whatever mistakes I will make today… I’m still breathing. M Anime well, “You Dropped A Bomb On Me,” I’d tell her. She’s a “Sex Bomb.” My “Atom Bomb Baby.” Then she blows up… “You hate me.” Love… Boys This Blows, B-V

2047 Days Without B III, Day 1488 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

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I wonder how my Ma felt forty-two years ago on September 6th, not realizing she was about to make the worst mistake ever the day after. I was a C-section; I wasn’t fighting to get out. So why have I fought to stay? Prepare for disaster. To Arms, B, V

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are no Space Marine. You got soul, but you’re not a soldier. T-Minus 1 day.

Today. Today? And today… Or rather, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” You can’t even Shakespeare right. And you expect to fight? Long to die, honestly. With the exception of M Anime’s extraordinary yabbos and how she’d wrap them. Emergence Day

Your head has been full of battle plans. Nothing would make you ‘gladder’ than to stay in bed today and tomorrow with your boys both left and right. Well, getting familiar with M Anime’s yabbos. She recently showed off her backside. Hallelujah Heaven. Sir Mix-A-Lot:

“Baby Got Back”
Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”

The Postman had his say as well. But today and tomorrow are not about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The keywords are life and happiness. Tomorrow won’t be.

Honestly, you hate your life. And Happy? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 3 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you choose to… Keep living like this, lying like this, loving like this. No, you weren’t going to say Laugh. Now is not the time to laugh. You’re halfway tempted to get your church on by saying, “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. “The Devil Is a Lie.” So is the cake. However, bank accounts

Those tell the truth. For example, you won’t be having your usual breakfast on E-Day.

It’s why you were dreaming about bacon, probably. No bacon, sausage, hash brown and pancakes. B, I’m sure, is appalled. Unable to pay for an E-Day staple? How dare you!

Your traditions only hurt you. My bad. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, the battles you have been recalling, the badass heroes, their bravery…

Victories, or at least glorious ends, every single one. Because tomorrow is not a celebration of birth; it is not forty-two years of a beating heart, another breath, or even playing with your twig and berries. It is simply the belief, the knowing that being born was a mistake and that only the loss of B is worse. So Emergence, Existing, Evolving.

Tomorrow is not an existential crisis. It’s facing Extinction and coming out the other side.

It is the stand of “The Thirteenth Warrior,” who prays “only to live the next few minutes well.” It’s Space Marines roaring “For The Emperor.” But loving Braxton, Virgil, and M? To Arms, B, V

2044 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 066 -Dashing Uber’s Hopes B-V-

WillLeave a comment

My boys know that if anyone comes knocking on the door, it’s not a good thing… Well, except for B’s Favorite Girl, or what’s that smell? Steak! V won’t have to worry about either this year because I’m broke. T-Minus 2-Days. “Dashing Uber’s Hopes B-V”

Saturday, September 5, 2026

Legacy 066 -Dashing Uber’s Hopes B-V-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… Is that an E-Day wish? You know what I would wish for Lunalesca. Braxton’s life. My…

Well, if the Grim Reaper got off his ass… I won’t be starving for the next few days, my lady. I did as I told Lady Sophia yesterday. I got a cake. It’s Emergence Day tradition.

Four cans of Bloom, a case of bottled water, and a box of chicken. Did I spoil myself, Lu?

A pack of AAA batteries and a strawberry milkshake. But I’m afraid I’m going to leave Uber Eats and DoorDash terribly disappointed this year. Me, Braxton, and Virgil’s Emergence Day meal usually comes out to $55.00. I got $20.00. And Braxton, help me if the food truck is closed or gone on Labor Day/Emergence Day. Never thought of that, ha.

I never thought of a lot of things… Braxton dying…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Seeing forty-two. I don’t want to be forty-two, Lunalesca. Hell! I didn’t want to be one year, month, week, day, or even second. As much as I hate this month and don’t forget January, we don’t skip months here- 28 Days Later franchise. Maybe I’ll watch zombie movies for E-Day. Off topic, but Infected and Dead/Zombies are different, thank you. Seriously, that bugs the Hell out of me, but no more so than getting older. I am too old, Lu.

“Forget what we’re told. Before we get too old. Show me a garden that’s burstin’ into life.”
Chasing Cars (2006)

I might as well be out there “Chasing Cars,” limos, ambulances, a hearse. And if I chose to get busy living instead of dying, I could Uber, DoorDash, and Lyft. Whatever. M Anime tells me about all these creeps and weirdos. But none for me.

Nothing for me. Same thing my bank account tells me. But a full stomach’s awesome.

However, what about tomorrow? Worse, what about Monday? Tuesday is my sister’s birthday. Wednesday is one of my boss’s birthdays… Also payday… I’m above 2g…

That’s it? Especially when M Anime is getting closer every day. Braxton doesn’t want me joining him anytime soon. I’m ducking my Olds, but that will fail, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

“I dare you to tell me to walk through fire
Wear my soul and call me a liar
I dare you to tell me to walk through fire
I dare you to tell me, I dare you to”
Shinedown (2005)

It’s inevitable, and Virgil is running around here someplace, usually bawling his head off or acting on his brother’s behalf, saying, “I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.” At least he doesn’t need to worry about me. Does Uber or DoorDash deliver drinks? Dashing Uber’s Hopes B-V

2043 Days Without B III, Day 1484 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

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The leap to 42 is in a few days. The leap to 16 was too much for Braxton. And Virgil is trying to make it to 6. But we’re not frogs. Be we angels? We are but men, just some with more hair and four legs. We keep hopping along. Braxton And Virgil Leap.

Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Legacy 063 -Braxton And Virgil Leap-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I’m more like MAGA than I am like my boys. Unconditional love… Ringing any bells? Beats my playlist.

The Day Job? Again? Yes. And I don’t even want to talk about it now. Bigger fish to fry E

Or should I say frogs. Do you fry frog legs, bake, or whatever? All I know is I want a piece of Kermit’s ass right now. His legs will do. I thought I wasn’t going to talk about this? It’s T-minus 5 days. Emergence Day. Imagine if those poor bastards on Sera had the heads up. A world full of monsters beneath them. Only takes one to kill, doesn’t it?

Speaking of monsters and killing, MAGA. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that HATE is expensive, Inspector. It “Feels Good.” I ain’t gonna lie. But it’s more expensive than an ISP.

I can look up Jaundice.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A medical condition that turns the skin and the whites of the eyes yellow because of high levels of bilirubin in the blood. Random, I know, Inspector. But I heard it in my dreams a couple of nights back. Why? Virgil’s tail? A bath is in order. Coldplay’s yellow. Yellow…

As in yellowbelly coward. No wonder I summoned up the blood today, my dear Echo.

But this wasn’t righteous. It was pure anger, rivaling the RAGE Virus. Remember B III?

The madness I hid from Braxton that led to my indifference and, days later, his death. I shouldn’t say that. No, no, Inspector! Back then I hated myself; today I hate the whole damn world because I wear my heart on my sleeve and then…

Blue? I should have been blue and thought about Braxton leaping out of this Hell. And Hell, Virgil will leap to be around me, or rather crawl like an escaping slave. It irks me too. But it doesn’t make me see red. And that’s what I saw today. Red. Genocidal.

Inspector, those are specific acts committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnic, racial, or religious group. “I’m not crazy or anything.” Superman? Nope.

Misanthrope? That I am. And it’s not easy “Bein’ Green.” Sick to myself, Inspector Echo. Wanting to leap my black ass off the ledge rather into the drink. Swimming’s terrifying.

But Langston Hughes is far more eloquent than I. Kermit? E-Day? Braxton And Virgil Leap

“The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.”
From Langston Hughes

2040 Days Without B III, Day 1481 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will