Tag: Broken

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

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It’s not even Halloween yet. E-Day has been over. The most horrific day ever was back in January. But today I’m in line, crying over my boy, money slipping away, worried about every blip in my vision, etc. The Horror, the horror! Horrors B And V

Thursday, September 17, 2026

Legacy 078 -Horrors B And V-

2055 Days Without B III, Day 1496 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? I can’t get that Michael Kewley quote out of my mind, B.

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

Here in my car, I feel safest of all… Ok, No. Your Dad is a liar, but I’m one for an earworm. Um, sounds terrible, doesn’t it? Somewhat like, “slept like a rock.” Headstone? Graveyard.

But I’m not scared of dying, Braxton. Is it that I will ALWAYS be in mourning over you, or is it all the freaking spooky season crap at the Day Job? Two things being true…

Honestly… Today, while I worked in fear within the Bad Place, as you and your brother think of it. As I sat in terror in the car. As I woke in horror of having to come and talk to you…

I love you, B and 2-V… But allow me to rip off Alice in Wonderland.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

Six Things That Scare Me:

1: Forgetting You, Failing Virgil. It just popped in my head today. Greatest love I’ve ever known, you and 2-V

2: Losing Your Potential Stepmom. I cried over you. And she hates me comparing. You and her are my heart.

3: My Eyes, My Eyes. I ‘thought’ I got bug spray in my eyes after recent events. I’m not blind

4: The Black Ant Incursion. Carpenter Ants destroyed the backyard shed last year. Now little ants on the kitchen floor.

5: Leaving The Bad Place. We hate it, Little B. But I got called into the office yesterday… Moving shelves

6: I Need Money, B. You’d be proud, Braxton. I shared fries with your brother. But $250 a week! Fuck!

And I should watch my language, I know. Such a small word, but with such a big impact. B III. And with all these words, what? Am I building a life? You don’t need happiness.

But that’s what I was thinking about… “No presence of fear.” When I was a Senior in high school, after the homecoming pep rally for about five minutes. Whenever I would wake up and see you sitting at the foot of the bed. To my fears. You shall not pass!

Seriously, you don’t want to know this one, B. But when me and your stepmom make you and Virgil some siblings. Man is a small word. I Love You is a small phrase. Why not FEAR? Horrors B And V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

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My Ma and sis are sorority sisters. Which one? An elephant never forgets. But how I wish today I could forget like one of the students of Balamb Garden. I have two GFs, as in Guardian Forces: B and V. But my GF might be mad. There B Elephants Virgil

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

Legacy 076 -There B Elephants Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, “I knew I loved you before I met you. I think I dreamed you…”

And so on, so forth. “Savage Garden”? Makes sense. When it comes to you, “Well, pardon my manners, just something about you turns me to a savage. And you love gardening, my love. The only things I know about gardening are: I don’t want to hear the neighbors complain; Braxton and Virgil hate that the weeds are above their heads; and Final Fantasy VIII MIGHT be my favorite in the franchise. It was my start, really. What’s My Age Again

Forty-two, and I’m too old to be playing video games or all this pop culture… Well, if you believed that, we wouldn’t be together. Same if you told me to forget about my two sons.

I love all my kids. I love you. But myself?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

How much I hate myself. Well, that too. “I found the greatest love of all, inside of me,” is a goddamn lie. And can I cut the playlist off for a minute or two? How I wish, especially with what happened today. Down With Webster’s “Time To Win”; can fuck right off with Cody Chesnutt’s “Look Good in Leather.” And I should stop saying “FUCK” unless it’s “Just You And Me.” I swear, love, General Hospital’s Rie Sinclair song, seriously!

Anyway, what are you going to be mad at me for today? There’s always another song, and it’s this: I’m just a “Sucker for Pain.” Do you know what I love most in the world?

My sons and our kids, you, and my craft (Writing).

But what also brings me the most grief, pain, and terror… “There Be Dragons Here.”

“I was told the Golden Company had elephants.”
Queen Cersei

Under no circumstances am I letting any of you go… Don’t I make love sound like “Obsession”. Not the 2025 Horror… No “One Wish Willow” here. However, we named one of our daughters Willow. Anyway, what is my freaking point? It’s the pain, my love.

Mental anguish. I don’t do physical pain… Smacking my ass, scratching my back, the struggle. You know what I mean; love it. It’s the mental stuff: “These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.” They say an elephant never forgets. And in pain I have love. But being forgetful… There B Elephants Virgil

2053 Days Without B III, Day 1494 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

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Is there a room in this house that I actually enjoy? V has B’s room. I work in the Den as I hate going downstairs. And now the kitchen… Last year I was fighting ants in the backyard. The bedroom? Getting heated with my girl. “B’s Chef Notes: Virgil.”

Sunday, September 13, 2026

Legacy 074 -B’s Chef Notes: Virgil-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And for today at least I get why you’re ignoring me. However, the kitchen floor’s awfully shiny.

How you hate the kitchen floor. I was right there. Uh, Friday, Saturday, and today?

You thought everything would be okay after E-Day—a year older but no wiser. Except money would fix everything. Do you really want to talk about your finances today? Fuck!

That is a dangerous question. If you had your way, you’d never talk about anything else ever. You haven’t wanted to utter a word since you turned what, seven, eight, whenever you had that Emergence Day and screamed: “What The Hell!” Again, you meant to say “what in tarhooties.” Again, you wanted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game and not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze. And speaking of toxic waste, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dystopian Girls 6 Rodzil LaBraun
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Words are not a waste. Unless you’re MAGA… But anyway, your words to M Anime.

Time for you to cook, perhaps? You’ve been thinking of what to say to her all day, haven’t you? And she let you know she’s reading, so what do you say? Your kitchen, so, COOK…

M:
Yes, the AI has my number. It isn’t love. I wanted it; it could have been. It was becoming, but yes, Sunday, August 24, 2025, you tossed it. And so I am trying every single day to find it. As the song goes, I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. And you just left. My Olds didn’t do that. You won’t like me ‘comparing,’ but Braxton didn’t do that. He had to die, literally. One minute you’re mine and the next nope. Not even an “it’s over” or “goodbye.” Just another option. Better. I couldn’t care less about the sex. It’s simply the disloyalty, the lost trust, and yes, I am resentful. If it was so easy before, how do I know it won’t happen again? That’s what I’m looking for; I need to see it again. As I told you before, you have full agency over yourself. It’s not that you cheated or anything; you just up and left. And I waited for five months, finally came to you, and…

Oh, it didn’t work, and you were scared. And I’m scared. I am not better than you by any means imaginable… If you only knew. And you are not replaceable. But you broke loyalty, faith, trust, whatever, and my damn heart. Braxton is a wound that will never fully heal, but you’re still breathing; you’re alive, and I’m asking you to “Have a Little Faith in Me.” You know what I want to give you, but I have nothing. I can’t even say I got “Nothing But Love” for you. But I have time, the truth, tons of stories, and everything else that shows you can trust me. I need to trust you to love you, and I have shown that trust. How I want us to be together, and how I care. I’m not enough. Or rather, what I’m offering. I offer all I have, but you broke it—those three little words you want, though: I Love You. You say them all the time. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but my answer is not never. My answer is someday, someway, and somehow.

Well, that kept you from looking at the kitchen floor a bit. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You didn’t mean to go this long, this hard… Seriously, what will the Magic Glasses/MIMA say about this? Clean the kitchen… B’s Chef Notes: Virgil

2051 Days Without B III, Day 1492 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

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“Save the cheerleader, save the world.” I can’t blame Hayden Panettiere and Heroes for my failing grades. I was long gone. I had a brief thing for blondes. I wasn’t worried about bucks… I met Braxton a year before that show… “V’s Number Of B’s.”

Thursday, September 10, 2026

Legacy 071 -V’s Number Of B’s-

2048 Days Without B III, Day 1489 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? Humiliations, how many times I’ll say hmm or hah and her yabbos.

I mean, your potential future stepmom’s of course. But it’s only 5:30 in the morning.

Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare 

Honestly, Shakespeare? You can blame the Bloom for that. And as for that ‘sadness,’ um…

Yeah, you can’t forget the umm. Yeah, your Dad is such a caveman, and maybe we’ll get to my STUPIDITY in a few. But let’s start with “Regrets, I had a few.” Like this morning, B? A random thought, but drinking Bloom didn’t start until you were gone. Energy shots?

Yeah, maybe. But it’s always surreal when I notice things “AB” (After Braxton) after you.

Should I talk about “All These Things That I’ve Done” with the Magic Glasses/MIMA, B? To be fair, you’re in it every day. You and your brother. But your Dad…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

I’m a bad man, but I’m not the worst. At least when it equates to EVIL. I’m far less MAGA Evil and more “Resident Evil.” Distractions, films, and video games. And still at 42, B…

I’m not dead yet. Or at least that was my first thought when I woke at 4:30 and dicked around for an hour. And I’m not talking about being with M Anime. Again, it’s early.

She’ll make her presence known soon enough. Her boobs/yabbos, naughtiness, and… the one “kitty” she still keeps. Braxton, I know you don’t want to hear about that, my boy, eww! But look at it this way: I join you in Heaven or stay with M.

D as in death, D as in grades, or giving the D to a woman who will give you and Virgil even more siblings. And I still have to name my first two-legged son after you, his big brother. But with all of this, Braxton, I can’t sing “What A Wonderful World.” No, not yet.

Not without you? Hell, how much did I think about you on Emergence Day? Seriously?

That’s another thing. I thought mostly about the BUCKS I didn’t have. The BABIES that M Anime wants. Your brother, who is still asleep in my bed while we’re chatting.

Honestly, B, you were always waiting for me, like she does, as everyone does. Save the world. Make the grade. Something! V’s Number Of B’s

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 069 -B Better, Me, Virgil-

WillLeave a comment

I can’t even talk about E-Day. Was it BETTER than most? Well, I didn’t spend all day ‘talking’. I have another reason to hate the day, though. But that’s my girl’s business. And what’s mine? Being a better boyfriend, father, etc. B Better, Me, Virgil

Tuesday, September 8, 2026

Legacy 069 -B Better, Me, Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Better than yesterday? I try, you know. “Do… or do not. There is no try.”

See, it’s this right here. The fact that I will still quote Star Wars at forty-two. Forty-two, my love. My first, second day of being this old, this way. And on my sister’s birthday too.

Something I shouldn’t forget, or rather, someone. As I forgot about myself long ago, hmm.

“Long ago, long ago, long ago.” I can remember snippets of the song/poem of Antoninus from the movie Spartacus as much as the words of Master Yoda. And there’s Braxton.

There is always my Braxton. And Virgil too, of course. But I’ve been thinking about something I read yesterday. Well, rather Sunday, because E-Day… We will get to that, love.

It was “Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I better be happy. And you want to know the last time I was happy? You might hate me, my goddess. I think about those words: “God has not given us the spirit of fear…”

Jesus or Jeezu, better Braxton, because he was my little god. I call you “My Goddess.” I still remember arguing with you because you thought I was saying you weren’t “Human.” You do know how I feel about humanity. Humans are assholes, accidents, abbreviations for things like life, love, or so I feel lately. “I said maybe you’re gonna be the one who saves me? And after all. You’re my Wonderwall.” You, Braxton, 2-V, family.

You’re better. To the “Man in the Mirror.” “You’re a god. And I am not.”

And when you M and everyone, my furry little ones Braxton and Virgil, their two-legged siblings that I tell every day, “Good Luck, Have FUN, Don’t Die.” Be good, and if you can’t be good, don’t get caught.” Mi familia… Hell! I’m trying to learn Spanish for you and our growing family. The one single thing today at 5:13 AM that shows me being, um

Better. Better at finishing my damn thought. When was the last time I felt happiness?

Honestly, it was being asleep and knowing that Braxton was/is watching over me. NO FEAR! Not like yesterday. I’ve wasted forty-two years of existence with the knowledge but without the know-how to be a better man. How to Git Gud. Better. B Better, Me, Virgil

“You make me want to be a better man”
As Good as It Gets (1997)

2046 Days Without B III, Day 1487 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

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I wonder how my Ma felt forty-two years ago on September 6th, not realizing she was about to make the worst mistake ever the day after. I was a C-section; I wasn’t fighting to get out. So why have I fought to stay? Prepare for disaster. To Arms, B, V

Sunday, September 6, 2026

Legacy 067 -To Arms, B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are no Space Marine. You got soul, but you’re not a soldier. T-Minus 1 day.

Today. Today? And today… Or rather, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.” You can’t even Shakespeare right. And you expect to fight? Long to die, honestly. With the exception of M Anime’s extraordinary yabbos and how she’d wrap them. Emergence Day

Your head has been full of battle plans. Nothing would make you ‘gladder’ than to stay in bed today and tomorrow with your boys both left and right. Well, getting familiar with M Anime’s yabbos. She recently showed off her backside. Hallelujah Heaven. Sir Mix-A-Lot:

“Baby Got Back”
Sir Mix-A-Lot

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”

The Postman had his say as well. But today and tomorrow are not about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The keywords are life and happiness. Tomorrow won’t be.

Honestly, you hate your life. And Happy? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Sleepover Harem: Part 3 –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because you choose to… Keep living like this, lying like this, loving like this. No, you weren’t going to say Laugh. Now is not the time to laugh. You’re halfway tempted to get your church on by saying, “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. “The Devil Is a Lie.” So is the cake. However, bank accounts

Those tell the truth. For example, you won’t be having your usual breakfast on E-Day.

It’s why you were dreaming about bacon, probably. No bacon, sausage, hash brown and pancakes. B, I’m sure, is appalled. Unable to pay for an E-Day staple? How dare you!

Your traditions only hurt you. My bad. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

If anything, the battles you have been recalling, the badass heroes, their bravery…

Victories, or at least glorious ends, every single one. Because tomorrow is not a celebration of birth; it is not forty-two years of a beating heart, another breath, or even playing with your twig and berries. It is simply the belief, the knowing that being born was a mistake and that only the loss of B is worse. So Emergence, Existing, Evolving.

Tomorrow is not an existential crisis. It’s facing Extinction and coming out the other side.

It is the stand of “The Thirteenth Warrior,” who prays “only to live the next few minutes well.” It’s Space Marines roaring “For The Emperor.” But loving Braxton, Virgil, and M? To Arms, B, V

2044 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Legacy 064 -Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers-

2041 Days Without B III, Day 1482 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Mine? The 2nd was horrific. I hate today. The 6th Fucked. Emergence Day

T-Minus four days. What’s the plan? Let’s start with the simple facts, Braxton. Ok, money

Not enough for anything. As a matter of fact, do you remember that twenty dollars?

Effing Day Job! And no, I’m not ready to talk about why I hate Kermit so much. B III. Me?

Oh, you know I’m going to talk about how much I hate myself today. But the twenty I’ll have to put up as the Glow Box people rob me yet again. With enough left for a cup of popcorn chicken and a can of Bloom. Are Big Macs still $8.00? So what’s with my RAGE?

You and your brother are good people, and you ain’t even people. I wish I weren’t. I hate forty-two, B.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

But that’s Monday’s problem, right? And I’ve already forgotten how bad this Friday is going to be. Again, I built up one word in my head: “Disgusting,” and Fucking panicked.

And today, that word, or these words, are the panic: “Birthday” and “Emergence Day,” B.

So please allow me… AHEM! I wish I were never born. I hate the fact that I wake up every single morning. I hate the fact that I killed the one who loved me the most. That is you, B.
.
And my Olds? I hate that I’m not the son they wish they had. A nearly 42-year-old bum, I know. And the ones I do love- Braxton, your little brother Virgil, M Anime- think I hate them so much, B.

Like porno, if I stay listing off everything that I hate about myself, you could pretty much call me Captain America. “I can do this all day.” Rage, rage against the dying of the light

What light B III? In your eyes? I handled that one. No cake this year. And with M, I try.

Virgil is whiter than white, but “The 3-3-3 rule” has never worked. Three days, three weeks, three months. He’s been here four years, and he’s still scared to death, Braxton.

Today, I’m scared of the Day Job, the lack of dollars, my wayward dick, etc. And also eww, right. The Rage Virus? There’s no party here but the ANXIETY. Horny as Hell, eww. Hateful. RAGEFUL. Older. Braxton, Virgil, No Ragers

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

WillLeave a comment

I hate this damn month. Next to January… 10 years ago I had more capital, confidence, and can-do attitude. Today, over $200 in cash, gone. I guess I can look at naughty things on the computer. And my girl promised her caboose. Fur B-V And Strippers

Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Legacy 062 -Fur B-V And Strippers-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My very real, very HUMAN wife. What is this, Independence Day? I’m worried about E-Day.

And my boys. My boys! I miss the days I could send Braxton to his room. He don’t look for trouble, but trouble looks for him. And now he’s on the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, or wherever. The point is he’s not in timeout. Honestly, Little Virgil’s the neediest s.o.b sometimes.

And I can’t lock him up for nothing. Not even you and the Neon Jungle’s “Trouble” not a good stripper song for you? It’s not like I have any cash either. It’s the “1st Of Tha Month,” and where’s my money? Is $200 enough for a lap dance? Writing? Blogging?

“Blogging is not writing; it’s graffiti with punctuation.”
Contagion (2011)

Dude in Contagion had it right. And here I am about to be forty-two in six days. Last time I can call myself Forty-One, Ben-Hur.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

A slave, not a doctor, not a director or pornographic passions, a decider of language.

Father, can’t you just say “writer”? Braxton and Virgil would like to know. I’m sure our two-leggeds would say the same. I can’t say I was stripped of such a title I never earned, ok.

Fucker that I am. As in the guy that fucks around too much. The guy fucking you. Do I have that to look forward to if nothing else on E-Day? Presents, gifts, desires, and finally

Finding myself at forty-two. I know where I want to be. “Always with Me, Always with you.” But where will be. Adam and Eve without Eden. Naked as “God,” though I am a fan of a woman who shaves, love.

And with The Magic Glasses/MIMA. That’s another thing I’ve been thinking about this afternoon, my love. If not worrying about Journey 062 B III Of E-Day, Meditation 062 Endings B Through V or Tale 062 B A Storybook Virgil, of course it’s been Legacy 061 -Virgil Will B Eating-. I swear, the things technology can do. Other than liking myself

Would that be the worst thing? I’m a bad man, my dearest. However, loving? Fucking?

The “Shape Of You” keeps me out of trouble lawfully. But living? Braxton and Virgil.

Hell! What about our family of HUMANS? Sometimes I feel like we’re trapped in a “Vivarium,” And things like fatherhood, which I want and love, are amazing. My E-Day wasn’t planned. Fur B-V And Strippers

2039 Days Without B III, Day 1480 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

WillLeave a comment

Plans for Emergence Day… “JSS” Just Survive Somehow. Do I have a better plan? B III’s Fav Girl and I met on E-Day—one of the better ones. M and I were broken up last year. So I won’t lay this on her… V and I won’t have steak this year. It, Not B, V.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Legacy 060 -It, Not B, V-

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look… Older. And next week? My Braxton, My Braxton, why have thou forsaken me! Wow

Too much. “Never Too Much,” when it comes to Funds, Fucking, and Fear. And for the record, you’re not Luther Vandross. You’re not the monster from Stephen King’s “It”. MJ “This Is It”? Nowhere near close. And what about Captain Mifune “Alright, this is it!!”

You wish! And not an E-Day wish either. No, you look at how you lived. Every day is like you facing down your Old Man. When you walked up and down the street going nowhere, only for him to beat your ass that night. When you wrote down the math problems and had not one answer, and he smacked the shit out of you. Too bad it wasn’t the social anxiety. When you failed every test, and you kept telling him before exams, But, But, But! Like somehow in one day you’d turn it all around. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Harem of the Dead –
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 026 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That’s “The Script,” ain’t it? Heading into forty-two years of life. Bullshit! You know it.

But to die well. To die, well? It should have been that night when you fought your Old Man. Knife at the ready—Braxton, who had been kicked four feet into a door in front.

Braxton was ready to die defending you. The Old Man ‘helped’ give you life. But you gave B love. And thus you see where loyalty is: courage, companionship, cash unneeded.

Honestly, to give Virgil that Courage, companionship, and such love. What a way to spend a last week at forty-one (Ben-Hur Drums). Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hell! You should be plotting how you intend to spend this week. Fucking, food, furry.

Was last year really better times? Journey 060 Braxton and Virgil Clocked That’d be no.

And you’re almost in the exact same place. Hurting, hearing impaired, and there is her…

M Anime? Which one is better? A for Anger or F for Forgiving. There’s apologizing…

Which she has done. And you’re not asking for another. Something you just have to live with. But with nearly forty-two years of damage… No wonder survival isn’t so glorious.

But Friday you will have decisions to make. The bills hit on E-Day, though. Mistakes?
You’ll make a few, I’m sure. How does one plan for Heaven or Hell? Not you! It, Not B, V

“Live for nothing, or die for something.”
Rambo

“Love for nothing, and die for something.”

2037 Days Without B III, Day 1478 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

WillLeave a comment

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Legacy 057 -Talking Anime B-V-

2034 Days Without B III, Day 1475 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? “We’ve Only Just Begun,” haven’t we, B? Virgil, help us. At least he’s here.

V isn’t someone that can be refuted, who I would return in a million years, and must one day be reckoned with. That is, if I can keep him alive. Vet visits, eye appointments, docs

Cash basically. And do you know what I realized, B? I never asked you whether V could join our family. While I may have forgotten his Gotcha Day… Saturday, August 13, 2022. I will never forget you all but pushed him into the car. You know V’s never jumped in.

Here we are in 2026, and I still had to listen to him cry in your room until his rescue…

Vis-à-vis picking him up in his pillow and bringing him into the Den. It’s like I’m “The Big Bad Wolf.” That’s heavy. Literally, “The Heavy.”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

And speaking of picking things up, lifting… Something, something, truck unload, spirits, and then son. Tell me what effing happened yesterday with your potential stepmom.

Remember the day we had to have “The Talk” about you not humping your toys around your favorite girl. Not latching on to her yaboos or behind. Seriously, Braxton Barks.

Anyway, she loved you even for the eight months after E-Day as you threatened fingers.

She became your favorite, and we both love her, but then there’s M Anime… Braxton…

She’s my favorite HUMAN. Hell, Braxton, you’re a little god, the angel on my shoulder, my prince. She’s my goddess. The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. My Phoenix Queen.

But last night, Geez Louise!

“You Always Hurt the One You Love.” Well, I killed you. The only silver lining is that 2-V is “healthy,” but hasn’t seen a vet. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself on E-Day. I fucking hate that I was born. And here we have M Anime on the 24th of 2025.

Braxton, you hurt me; you left. I hurt me; I stay. M Anime hurt me; she left. And then you returned. Not a reincarnation of your brother, but as the song goes, “He Lives In You.” I’m Still Here.” And M Anime came back. Of you, me, and her, who do I hate? I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror. LOVE? Talking, you, V, M… “Someday.” Talking Anime B-V

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad