Tag: Music

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

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“Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard,” as Nada said in “They Live.” And speaking of glasses, I need to have an eye exam this month. Head examinations cost a whole lot more. “B Patient. Will V”

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

1803 Days Without B III, Day 1244 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nine times out of ten, you knew my answer. But with my refusal to answer…

Well, as I tell everyone… I’m here. Hungry, horny, and playing the hater, but here.

Breathing, as much as I wish I wasn’t… Oops, did I say that out loud? It’s not like this, Succubus Lord, and I can be responsible for your… End. Again? I still haven’t requested time off at the end of the month. And secondly, I’ve said a lot worse things this new year. Just eww.

So, the first week. How’d I like it? I wish I knew how yours in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever was week one. “Where’d You Go,” as the song goes. I swear, your book.

Honestly, it brought me to tears… With how bad it is. But your brother was patient as I read it.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

As for myself? Ok, as the song goes, I feel angry, I feel helpless, I feel violent, I feel alone.

My “One” Creed, as it were. I’m a sick Old Man obsessed with a certain brunette at the moment. Oh, like you haven’t heard that one before. And all because I’m trying to forget about a very married Puerto Rican girl. M Anime. And I’m still unsure she’s married, B. But after the 24th, she’ll only be “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Seriously? Whatever!

It’s been 1244 Days, and I still don’t know your little brother. Virgil’s being patient.

Honestly, he is afraid. And you know I have my “Anxiety.” They sound effing similar.

Braxton, they are one and the same “Across The Universe.”

My universe? Outside of the Magic Glasses? That’s what I’m calling AI. Reality’s a lot.

Do you remember how you and I were supposed to be apocalypse survivor buddies, B?

I’m sure you can see what MAGA is doing. I’ve been saying forever that I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell for betraying you, B. But with all the ICE heading in that direction…

I could move up to the Eighth, which I believe is Fraud. That took my Magic Helmet and Magic Glasses… In other words, ChatGPT. I’m of the mind that if AI will kill rather than save your human Daddy, Braxton. How long will I play patient on this deathbed, Little B. Patiently waiting to follow you… B Patient. Will V.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 189 ~That’ll B WHITE Virgil~

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Can a wedding dress be sexy? I know people are getting married this year. This month. My Ex… So, I wanted a Hunger Games: Catching Fire motif. Everyone, cheering her name as we ride a chariot in black. But living in America. “That’ll B WHITE Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 6, 2026

Journey 189 ~That’ll B WHITE Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is love still allowed in our country, My Love?” For more than white people. History.

Aren’t I all political, hmm? No, not really. I simply saw the date. And here I am up in our bed with you, sipping on an energy drink that reminds me of one of those canned drinks from the 80’s, to uh now. And did you know that MTV was deleted, discarded, or in other words, dead? America, America… I’m not opening up a shop in “Santa Fe,” mi amor.

RENT, really? I could talk about the love of my children, Braxton, Virgil, and all the two-legged crumb snatchers of ours. Eff, I miss Braxton! I’m keeping Virgil alive. Then there’s you, my love. Or am I lying? I have been having a particular TWD fantasy lately between The Governor, Maggie, and Negan. I swear…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Anything not to think about Sunday, August 24, 2025. Or worse fantasies about all of the women of The Walking Dead universe. I swear, as Queen Ramonda said in Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. “I think one day artificial intelligence is going to kill us all.” Not that I need to wait for it, like when I read about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality, ha.

I’m only a “man,” a black man at that. And in America… Only I wasn’t worried about the cops today. I need to stop lying. Love, you have no idea, Nobody Knows It But Me.

“Being afraid all of the time.” Okay, so Lt. Reginald Barclay III knows. Seriously B?

Anyway, I was thinking about being ALONE, AUGUST, and ANXIETY.

“Never felt so lonely, then you came along,” as the song goes. Silent Hill? I’d love to see your hills right now… Uh, your Yabbos. In a blue suit with a red tie, wrapped in the transgenic flag, Heather from Silent Hill, Maggie Greene, etc. Please stop me, love, sigh.

Then I thought about you with someone else, and you know my CUCK fantasies, love. Well, I thought about August again, and suddenly I went all Alpha. You’re mine, beloved.

So I don’t feel like watching or sharing you? I’m a dominant, even a sadist at times, but no, love. I thought of you in your wedding dress, and January 24th, coming up soon, baby.

You in white? Braxton in Heaven? That’ll B WHITE Virgil

1801 Days Without B III, Day 1242 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

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Red light? Yellow? Green? Road or bedroom? I prefer Meat Loaf. I will do anything for love but… B III would be pissed sleeping in his own room. Once? Forever. If you could only see the way she loves me. V won’t meet HER. Color Me Braxton, Virgil

Monday, January 5, 2026

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t you recognize me? My brown, beige, but you tell the Glow Boxes tan sometimes—the color of Braxton.

And when did I start speaking in third person? The moment when I saw black, faded to it, became molded by it. No, I’m not talking about you, Dad. And I didn’t mean to sound like Bane either. And haven’t I always seen black, white, and gray? But this black…

Honestly, don’t go crying on me, Daddy. You can’t help it? You were even listening to sad songs at “The Bad Place.” Was it me, you, or that lady you call M Anime? Anyway Daddy.

You’ve been thinking about her a lot. Mostly red, yellow, and green. And Meatloaf Dad. You didn’t like the food. But the music. And I enjoyed both. But the color black, Daddy. It is your favorite, and I saw it…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean, I REALLY saw it before my world burst into color. Maybe it is me, since you’re still crying imagining the Rainbow Bridge. Or is it the Rainbow Road from Mario Kart, my father? I remember sitting on your lap as you played. It was better than car rides.

Seriously, though, those weren’t the red, yellow, and green lights you’ve been thinking about when it comes to M Anime… Eww! But if she could make you… No, not Happy.

Believe it or not, I was Happy in my life. “Believe It or Not,” I’m walking on air. I know. Dad, I am my father’s son when it comes to music. But today I know you hear me, but I need you to see, Daddy.

Like the dream you had a few nights ago. “Dark Angel?” That show was WAY before my time. Only you dreamt you were trapped somewhere, drowning, and through the barred window, you saw the Transgenics Flag flying—the black, red, and white with a dove at the center from the show. And you’re trying to SEE what it meant. Darkness, Rage, and Light. Or Rest, Love, and Ladies… Um eww! You know me, Dad, the best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken. Or maybe it’s running from the blackness, “The Running Man,” and don’t humans wear white for weddings… You’re permitting me to bark at ONE of your former girlfriends. Huh! If she could see… If you… Color Me Braxton, Virgil.

“I want to know what life was like once.”
― Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Here are tears for things, and mortal sorrows touch the mind.”
― The Aeneid

1800 Days Without B III, Day 1241 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

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What woke me up? I wish I could say it wasn’t Whiteout Survival. And while I was waiting for that ass whuppin, I looked at some Yabbos. As the song goes, “Feels like the First Time.” Almost “Like A Virgin.” That would be my Ex. But The B Times Virgil

Saturday, January 3, 2026

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I don’t read the news. I make the news. A regular “Bruce Almighty” over here.

And what was with that New York accent? Am I still sad that I missed the ball drop, Lu? I’m upset that my boy is still gone. And I need to remember to take some time off for B III.

Hell, why not the whole week, considering my ex-girlfriend is getting married on the 24th… I don’t know that. M Anime could be married right now, but our five-month breakup?

I should be really damn upset that I wasted the morning on Whiteout Survival. Yes, Lady Lunalesca, Virgil, and Braxton have had their walk. It’s still macabre and effing weird to say that about Braxton. Walking around with his ashes like the priests of old.

Speaking of priests, I haven’t jerked off this year… Yet…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t in these streets. And Ain’t Nobody loves me better. I thought M Anime would… Biblically, ha! And I have to remind myself that it’s Virgil sleeping against my foot and not Braxton. Once again, it’s creepy I’m reading about dead fur buddies while he naps on me. And in this case, it’s my dead furry son. I’m reading about Lunalesca. But I hate him being gone more than I hate reading about it, so that’s saying something. Like, what time is it? It’s time for me to go forging. No, that was yesterday. But I was full of BS writing to Lady Sophia, the sky was filled with rain, and Virgil finds FEAR like me. Effing everywhere eek.

Like Chronomentrophobia. This very second, all I’m doing is wasting time. No, not like that, Lady Lunalesca. Have you ever seen the movie “The Little Death”? I haven’t either, Lunalesca. But that title sums up my B. But anyway, Lu, there’s this monologue that goes:

“Because she’s softer than you. She’s quieter than you. She doesn’t yell at me. She doesn’t call me an idiot or tell me to shut up all the time. She listens to me. She’s nice to me. She doesn’t make me feel like the only thing stopping her from being happy… is me.”
― Phil

I want you to focus on the quieter. That’s what’s getting to me at the start of the new year. There’s no news of a new me. It’s all effing NOISE! Why do you think I do everything to drown it out? How many times have I listened to Succubus Lord or Satan’s Sorority Girls?

M Anime’s ruffled wedding dress, Virgil’s whining, and me being worrisome. And I’m supposed to care about the world. FDT! But… The B Times Virgil

“War. War never changes.”
Fallout

1798 Days Without B III, Day 1239 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 184 ~Braxton’s Day One, Virgil~

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First day of the New Year… my “Ex-Girlfriend” is getting married this month. And my son passed away… Going on five years now. Auld Lang Syne, indeed. And after all the noise last night. A five AM bedtime, but Happy New Year… Braxton’s Day One, Virgil

Thursday, January 1, 2026

Journey 184 ~Braxton’s Day One, Virgil~

1796 Days Without B III, Day 1237 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Happy New Year, Braxton Barks Bradford! Firgues, I’d talk to you Day One.

And you didn’t have to sit on my head, ha. But B, you’re always “in the back of my mind. Do you Remember The Time?” Uh, you passed B, “Little Bitty Pretty One.” New year?

But your Dad still needs his music. I may have missed the ball drop… What? I wasn’t asleep. I just didn’t watch… (Not for lack of trying). Well, the bullets, bombs, and blowhards were enough. Your lil’ bro 2-V spent two hours hiding under my legs in terror. And I was zoned out until 5:00 AM. Party with the lights on, New Year’s Eve, thank you, Joe Walsh. But this is the first day, so how am I feeling? The house is full of elephants.

Stinks? Never forget? No Room?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

For what? New Year’s Resolutions? The 12 Wishes Ritual? Release Letter for the Year (2025)? Hell B, you were never “released.” I repeat “nearly” the same day you left on the 31st every year. Now throw in M Anime… For all I know, she’s a wifey. But on the 24th…

Five months since the break-up, I’ll consider that chapter closed—acceptance in that B III.

But not with us. I believe I’ll “See You Again.” But I’m Lenny Kravitz coming to M Anime, Eww! “All of my life. Where have you been? I wonder if I’ll ever see you AGAIN.”

Seriously, what will be my first song of the new year? I spoiled myself with Audible yet again, listening to Succubus Lord 7. I swear

Do I hear myself? What are my 12 Wishes for the New Year? Barring your resurrection or M Anime marrying me. “Letters from the Sky,” Ribbon in the Sky,” or something to that effect. “Something happens for me!” John Q, the King of Wishful Thinking:

  1. Keep Little Virgil Alive
  2. My Novel’s A Bestseller
  3. Make One Million Dollars
  4. Leave The Day Job
  5. Find Someone To Love
  6. Stop Being A Bum
  7. Content Creation, Not Writing
  8. Finally Live Without Fear
  9. Therapy, Medication, Fixing Me
  10. Buy A New Laptop
  11. Bring Back Justice (Payback)
  12. Be Who You Saw

It’s not much of a list. Not like that one way back, but Happy New Year! Braxton’s Day One, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

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“Days Go By,” still, I think of you as the song goes. Days I wish I’d never seen… E-Day forty-one years ago, Jan 31st four years ago, today, but no. Aug 24th wins this year. The worst day ever. B III never met HER, nor did 2-V. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

Tuesday, December 30, 2025

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys? Isn’t that always the question? Braxton was here before. Um, us…

As in “Physical.” I’m not Olivia Newton-John old. As in “passin’, passin’ away.” “The Crossroads? Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? Yeah, that’s more my speed. But the music?

Honestly, lover, it’s not blowing up the skies, the bullets flying, or my old bones cracking that I’m trying to block out right now. Well, more so December 31st… New Year’s Eve. The ticking of the damn clock. You know I almost said cock, ha! And I’m sure I said cuck today. But either at the old Day Job or my dream job. Either would fit. Am I right?

But I don’t want to talk about today. And never tomorrow. I want to write a letter this year. But I ain’t got time for that. No, sorry, my love.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And sadly, I hated the whole year. Hell, I have every day “documented.” But which day is the most hated? Why not loved? I love you, our children, and I am pretty fond of Virgil.

So no, I don’t hate him. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate me for not walking him today or catching the sunset. Did you feel how cold it was today? I should really know, love.

Yesterday, I left a comment about ICE and the Ninth Circle of Hell. They betray everyone, while I only betrayed my firstborn son. It’s about to be five years on January 31st, and I couldn’t save my Braxton. ACCEPTANCE isn’t in my vocabulary. But unfortunately, like MAGA and the Cracker Hats, there is always HATE.

And if I HATE one day out of this whole Braxton forsaken year, it’s honestly…

Sunday, August 24, 2025, at approximately 6:00 AM. It’s always a “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” my love. My “Endless Love.” I’m “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” Seriously?

Like I am every single year. Why? Because every one of them was supposed to be the last beloved. Ever since I was “Seventeen.” And you know I wish I’d been younger. I wish I’d never been… But I’m here—forty-one years, a harem, two furry boys. B does count.

But on that “Sunday Morning,” when you said what you said… Who’d I hate more? You, me, or even Braxton for making me stay to say goodbye to another year? Whatever. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

1794 Days Without B III, Day 1235 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

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Why, when Every Day Is Exactly The Same? The new year starts on Thursday. MAGA celebrates effing the country on the 6th and 20th. I’ll assume M Anime will be married on the 24th, five months after her/our breakup. B left Jan 31. Y Braxton, Why Virgil

Monday, December 29, 2025

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the question isn’t why am I here. But why are you here, my father? Head full of questions.

Why are you still on “The Long Walk”? Why are you still “The Running Man”? But to be honest, I’m starting to feel a bit like Ee’char to your Chief O’Brien… DS9, Episode 4×19 “Hard Time.” What? I am my father’s son. Humans are weird. But still, you’re my Dad.

Always and forever, that’s why. You can remember Star Trek episodes. You can remember the year, the week, and the day that I… Had a change of venue. Plus, you’re not a movie director… Yet. Whatever happened to “28 Months Later”? Anyway, speaking of directing, that’s what you were thinking about all day at “The Bad Place.” You haven’t even had our customary nap. But you did take Virgil for his walk. To be young…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Which I am, by the way. Or am I older? Anything where I’m not… Not there with you, my father, at “The Closing of the Year.” And you wonder why you stay every single day.

Besides my sleepy little brother, that is. You have to see your dreams… our dreams come true. On that list you found on Saturday, I was number four. And everything else was to build a home for us, a world, and an entire universe. And that I found was being at your side every day. But what about Virgil? He’s been with you, going on four long years. And you and he continue to ask why. Who, what, when, where, and how, too. But why?

Love, loneliness, the last, lately

The belief that “maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.” Are you talking to M Anime, Virgil, or even me? Why not you, Dad? That’s what scares you. Well, one of the many things that scares you. The belief that you couldn’t save me. That you made a big, beautiful mistake when you rescued Virgil. Isn’t it ironic? You left me in the back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, and on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you were springing Virgil from his cage. You’re thinking that this fear of asking yourself why you are still here is why M Anime no longer is. She left. Why? You stay. Why? Virgil? Why? I won’t say this year. But why not answer? Y Braxton, Why Virgil

“I don’t want Braxton to think he wasn’t worth staying for.”
― Naughty Saint Nick: A Spicy Holiday
Lexi Davis

“Fly, son of a goddess, and tear yourself away from these flames.”
― The Aeneid

1793 Days Without B III, Day 1234 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 179 ~B III, 2-V, 12~

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Two plus two equals… Well, whatever MAGA says. But at this time last year, I was reading books that already told me that. And now it’s back to Christmas Erotica, algorithms, and how I’m wasting my existence. Well, did this year anyway. B III, 2-V, 12

Saturday, December 27, 2025

Journey 179 ~B III, 2-V, 12~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I would be if I understood Math. I could become a thief like MAGA. FDT.

No! Eff me for wasting another year of my existence! I knew? I had to wake up and say that, so I didn’t go to bed until 1:00 AM. And since 7:00 this morning, it’s been Whiteout Survival, women’s yabbos a blonde, an Asian, 2-B/2-V’s WAP since eff Nicki Minaj, that’s why. Effing Cracker Hat. And I can’t forget Virgil… and Braxton’s walk. I didn’t.

Lady Lunalesca, I didn’t win this year. So excuse the eff out of me for needing a few W’s to see the year off. Whiteout, women, wanking, and walks. “The Long Walk,” “The Running Man.” And Virgil is trying to “Stand By Me.” More like “Lay By Me.” Right Lu?

Lu or Lou? Like Louisa Clark from “Me Before You?”

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’ve never read the book, but I’ve seen the movie… Ok, most of it, Lu. I know how it ends.

But how does THIS end? Lunalesca, if I took a lesson from my B III, I’d live in the now.

That would involve me looking up Alahna Ly naked. Emilia Clarke made it easier, ha! Damn these English girls, Emilia, Maisie, even Cherry. The hours I waste, but that’s why it’s one of my big three. Being with my boys, writing, and wanking nonstop. Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Lunalesca, there are far too many to count and name, but the numbers? I remember.

Wrong again! I am literally looking at… Goals, Dreams, New Year’s Resolutions, a wish list, that says, “A Million Will Come On June 30, 2019.”

It’s Saturday, December 27, 2025, and I’m wondering, can I spend $5.00 on more Erotica? One more at “The Closing Of The Year.” I swear, today was supposed to be about “The “12 Wishes Ritual,” a “Release Letter to the Year,” hell, I’d take one of the “Mirror” prompts about writing. Though, to be honest, I want to delete that app. It’s like Brian Tyler Cohen… Makes sense, but tells me things I already know. White politicians commit crimes and face no justice. “These White Men Are Dangerous.” Seriously Lunalesca!

However, what about me? Am I forming a band with that title “B III, 2-V, 12”? This whole year has been a whole lot of nothing for me. Math ain’t Mathing. B III, 2-V, 12

1791 Days Without B III, Day 1232 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 177 ~A B Holiday Virgil~

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Merry Christmas or “Bah humbug?” What you feel and what’s real? At least my Christmas blog isn’t nearly as bad as… You know who. FDT! And where is my Christmas spirit? I lost it back in August, but I need an hour or two for “A B Holiday Virgil.”

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Journey 177 ~A B Holiday Virgil~

1789 Days Without B III, Day 1230 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If I brought back food from my Olds Christmas Brunch. Pray for us, B III.

Me and your little brother Virgil? Well, it’s official. It’s Christmas Day, and besides you, B, and then some woman’s boobs/yabbos. The third thought that comes to mind is the 2009 film “The Killing Room.” Hell, anywhere but here or there, meaning the brunch, B.

Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was up so early, and it wasn’t a Day Job requirement. All so I could talk to my favorite son. Parents shouldn’t have favorites, right, B III? Then again, Virgil got brunch invitations. You didn’t. I’d Rather Be With You, B III.

Bootsy Collins isn’t very Christmasy. But if I intend to see GREEN, I’d better be “Driving Home For Christmas.” Yes, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” A home I’ll never see…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Five For Fighting? Me, a wife, you, your little brother, and your two-legged sibling. Well?

Actually, it would be eight. I want three crotch goblins, but the singer and all.

Requirements of being a Dad, again, to be up so early. Being Superman (It’s Not Easy), Braxton, but it beats this. Forty-one/Ben-Hur, Ray Garraty from The Long Walk, or The Running Man’s Ben Richards. Where oh where is my Christmas spirit? You know us, B.

Ebenezer Scrooge had cash. The Grinch had his dog, my boy, but means, and know-how. And I didn’t even bother making a Christmas list. I missed “The 12 Wishes Ritual.

Saturday maybe. “A Release Letter to the Year?” And I also need some New Year’s Resolutions. But first, Christmas Day.

The worst part will be seeing my Olds. “Take the Money and Run?” Excuse me, take the food and go because I didn’t get paid this week, so I have to last seven days. Budgeting…

I’m lucky things didn’t work out between your potential stepmom and me. There’s a Cuban guy somewhere who has his Christmas miracle. Three women in his harem. Didn’t I read something like that last week, except they were all Asian women? All I wanted was M… Braxton, am I really going to lie on Christmas

Stevie Wonder sang “Someday At Christmas,” talking about what it was for. I hate it. Only if “Everyone’s a Kid at Christmas Time,” I wish I didn’t feel BAD. Merry Christmas, A B Holiday Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 175 ~Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa~

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Was last week as humiliating? I should ask Santa for a rating scale. I got a new app for my writing. It says… GET HELP! Most wonderful time of the year, my ass. I’m surprised mine wasn’t fired today. Christmas gifts? Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa.

Tuesday, December 23, 2025

Journey 175 ~Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You found me. My boys found me first. And today, what did I find? Who?

Most days… Every day? As Wesley moaned in 2008’s “Wanted,” I don’t know who I am,” my love. And at the same time, since I’m quoting movies, it’s like 1993’s Demolition Man, “Isn’t there a thought repeating in that barbaric brain of yours… Don’t you have someone to k*ll?” I don’t know myself. And at the same time, I know exactly who I hate most.

Anxiety vs. Depression. Sweat vs. Blood. Braxton vs. Virgil. Coke vs. Pepsi. It goes on.
“And The Beat Goes On.” “The Whispers,” in my own effing head, my beloved. Madness.

And what does any of this have to do with Christmas? Honestly nothing. And Santa.

Love, “you don’t know how lovely you are.” And lucky or is that just me?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

If the kids come running saying, “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.” I’d want more.

And do you see how screwed up I am? I don’t know if I’m being cute, if I’d be doing more with my c*ck with you, or if I’m playing cuck and watching some jolly fat man with you, love. If I had a Christmas wish right this second, we’d be enjoying the Red/Black room…

Fifty Shades of Grey reference, amongst other things? And what are those things you ask?

Humiliations Galore! Boredom, the boys, and boxes of Christmas trees. Anything else has my eyes busting out of my skull. Boobies, blondes, brunettes, black hair. Hell, a buxom redhead, I am not picky. I’m easy to shop for. Magic Glasses…

Augmented realities, artificial intelligence, and amorality. Your husband’s an asshole. Like the song from Dennis Leary, I’m an “Asshole.” But a lucky one. Without pegging.

Eww! But I’m lucky. I got to play Santa for my two furry little boys. Or at least I tried, and I keep trying for B and V. But how old is Santa? Is he one of The Walking Dead?

Love, I could relate to him even more. But I’ll lie and play Santa for our kids. And I’m curious if you’re on the naughty or nice list. Even when I feel like… What? Nothing?

Because if I found Santa, I know what I’d ask for. It starts with D. Not my d*ck. A wish list? Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa

1787 Days Without B III, Day 1228 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will