Tag: Marquis de Joker

Journey 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Bananas~

WillLeave a comment

Planet of the Apes? Well, I’ve never had an ape before, but I trust B and V. A chicken in every pot and a paw in every ass, well, anyone threatening me. You know, people who would call me a monkey, I’m worried about money. Braxton, Virgil, Go Bananas

Sunday, February 22, 2026

Journey 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Bananas~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… The keyword there is MAN. Before I eff you over… AHEM. Eff MAGA, FDT, Eff “The Five.”

Well, minus Jessica Tarlov. You’d eff her even though she works for FOX. You’d eff Lauren Boebert, Kayleigh McEnany, and Ivanka Trump too. And let’s not forget Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Eff dude, why can’t you keep it in your pants? Seriously!

However, last night, “Sorry, Blame It On Me.” The things that drive me nuts… Bananas?

Oh, you’re a “Hollaback Girl.” No, you’re a loser, a loser with a skinny wiener. Okay, that was below the belt (snickers), and I’m sorry. But again, last night, I was “Delirious Outta My Mind.” “Where Is My Mind?” Well, yours now. Better question. Where are your boys? Braxton is still in a box, the Rainbow Bridge, or beside you. Virgil’s on his pillow as I’ve failed Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Life Together: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your only saving “grace” is that while you believe the world would be better off if you joined B, the rest of humanity isn’t much better. Give the world to the apes or the dogs.

If we start in on dogs, you’ll be sitting here crying all day. But last night I dreamt of apes.

Once again, FDT for his ape video of President Obama and Michelle. But men in general are animals. BEAST! At least that’s what M Anime is showing. And the fact that you have somehow “evolved” in her eyes… It’s one of the reasons you care for her so effing much.

Honestly, you would rather have her eff you than me. Well, you are a “Sexy Mothereffer” failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

You know you should leave that to the non-failures like Prince or Labrinth. Because if we’re talking sexy, there was a pretty blonde gymnast, there’s Cherry, and then the dream of M Anime, now wearing a yellow kimono with silver feathers. What will AI say?

So you’re thinking about peeling her out of it, but you SHOULD worry. “How Bizarre.”

A woman wants that banana in your pants, and you’re sitting here struggling to buy a snack. All you wanted was a bacon cheeseburger. Though she asks you eat healthy.

There’s always the speaker at the Day Job. You must be driving those people bananas.

You’re playing “Whiteout Survival” to be in last place. “The world, Chico, and everything in it.” Braxton, Virgil, Go Bananas

1848 Days Without B III, Day 1289 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 234 ~Braxton and Virgil Bounce~

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It’s been one week since he looked at me. More like five years… Six? Anyway, Braxton bounced. And how many stories have I read to his brother Virgil? How many have I written saying they would save us? Three new ideas, but “Braxton and Virgil Bounce.”

Friday, February 20, 2026

Journey 234 ~Braxton and Virgil Bounce~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… No. Allow me to take a page from MAGA and provide the concepts of a story.

The first idea came yesterday. Do you know the painting “Dogs Playing Poker” by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge? Oh, maybe it’s these Living Single reactions. Maybe the fact that (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. Maybe it’s the Def Jam motif, you know. Or maybe the sexy M Anime-like figure in the kimono. That was an accident, but she’s so “Sexy” Sophia.

I mean, as Peter Cinocotti sings about. Or Tom Jones, she’s an effing Sexbomb. Anyway!

Two Chihuahuas… My furry sons, Braxton and Virgil. Their Dad (Yours Truly) is in an underground HUMAN fighting ring known as the Inferno Circuit. These two furry brothers are trying to save me with M Anime’s help from a three-dog criminal empire known as the Cerberus Syndicate. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Before that, there’s an idea M Anime and I were talking about with her dreaming. My Spanish goddess… Trust me, “All I wanted was to see her naked” once upon a time. Now we’re back to talking about having kids. And she could be B III and 2-V’s stepmom, someday.

Anyway, the idea! Okay, so she tells me about the three characters that “ravage” her. However, there is a demon that can’t take her. So what if the human and genetically created characters by using her body “sexually” somehow gave her the strength to beat the demon and save the world… It reminds me a tad of the third “Dying Light” game. If you defeat the beast, you get enhanced abilities… That’s lots of games.

But my third idea is even more of a rip-off. Simply put, “The Running Man” but with female hunters. Huntresses? I’m still ticked off about losing all those elements, like the Black Orchid Division, the Crimson Requiem (nuns with red habits), and the Inferno Cadre.

Sophia, I could have built a whole damn world out of those groups alone. Something like World War Z. The movie is okay if you have no idea about the book. But because I read the book, the movie starring Brad Pitt was a dumpster fire. And “The Running Man.”

Yeah, Sophia, I should probably read. Anything I can read to my kids, but no. My bank account, Hometown Heat Wave, and Backward Beauty (Fuu’s Painting). Braxton and Virgil Bounce.

1846 Days Without B III, Day 1287 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

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I wish I could say I was high as a kite or I was as high as B, wherever he is. The Rainbow Bridge? The Rainbow Road? It’s not like I can buy Mario Kart, whatever, or any more books. I’m sort of addicted to eating. “HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED.”

Thursday, February 19, 2026

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

1845 Days Without B III, Day 1286 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I know that I’ve seen “Better Days,” Glasses on. Phone on my chest. Something pretty…

Oh, and what could be cuter than B? I miss you sitting on my head. Ok, duly noted, my boy.

But I wouldn’t mind if M Anime sat on my face. I know, I know, Eww! But she is your potential stepmom. And Braxton, in all honesty, your Dad did not want to wake up.

Please, that’s most mornings. But this one was particularly bad. And the only reason your bum of a father is sitting in Den in front of the TV is because she texted. And I had the good sense not to shatter my glasses, which is why the phone was on my chest. If anything, that is a testament to how HOT she is… I broke a pair reading “Backyard Dungeon.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know, the HaremLit series from Logan Jacobs. That was one of those books I wouldn’t read to you or your little brother. But that doesn’t mean it should be burned. If I were to start burning books, it’s because I can’t afford them. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! And that brings me to today, Braxton. I’m missing you, I’m worried about
Virgil. And myself? Well, eff me too. Another reason I’m still “Alive.” But Meat Loaf?

Braxton, I couldn’t have that even if I knew how to make it. I make bad financial decisions. A lot. Like Backyard Dungeon? Why am I hitting Mr. Jacobs? I liked Backyard Dungeon. I was tired and dropped my tablet onto my glasses one day.

C’est La Vie, treat you unfairly. Like between you and Virgil. You’re both my sons, and I love you both. But fathers aren’t supposed to have favorites, and you know who wins between you and Virgil. I’m either going to Hell for what happened to you or how I’m treating him. Honestly, either way, I need a drink, a smoke, or some pus**… Gross! Sorry!

But I could REALLY be on drugs or develop a drinking problem. There’s also Obsession. I sent M Anime that Animotion tune, and if I could tell her anything, “You’re So Damn Hot.” The only time you were hotter than her is when you got baked… A horrible joke, duly noted. I ain’t right. Low-blood sugar. HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

WillLeave a comment

One night over twenty-something years ago, I could have been playing more Final Fantasy… Which was it, somewhere between 10 and 12? Anyway, we didn’t play in games. Don’t be a fool, wrap our tool. Still, I’m a father of two. Braxton, Virgil, Game On.

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Hurry up and wait? Remember who you are? “Regrets, I’ve had a few.” A little early for music…

Not if I was at the Day Job. But we’ll get to that. Today, what had me wasting my little boys’ time this morning? If I were talking about my balls, I would have said big boys. And again, we’ll get to those, too. Also, eww! Today I mean B’s memory and Virgil’s Little Life.

The name of the game is Whiteout Survival. A Forty-One-Old-Man playing an effing mobile game. Effing developers! And let’s not forget those people I told M Anime about and their wicked ways. This morning has me very (Hercules Scream) Disappointed!

Inspector, eff Kevin Sorbo, eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats and FDT! But Whiteout, right?

What a way to put that game. Simply put, I’m losing and in last place.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“In My Place,” SIGH. You should listen to me and M Anime sometime. Her place…

Inspector, I wish I could go all Dame Vaako with it, or that M Anime would one day soon, Echo. Do you remember what she said to her husband? Husband… me, am I in love…

“My place is at your side, dear husband. From here till underverse come.”
Dame Vaako

Not yet, dear Inspector. I still haven’t forgiven M Anime for Sunday, August 24, 2026. Only there’s something to be said about accountability. And when a hot Latina is saying she needs to be punished… Somehow, Inspector, I feel like Marv from Sin City saying:

“I’m staring at a goddess, she’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more second wondering how I’ve gotten so lucky… She smells like angels oughta smell. The perfect woman. The goddess.”
Marv, Sin City (2005)

With everything she wants with me, I just remember what it was like my first time, Echo. The girl was a mix of Tegan Mohr, Leana Lovings, and Lana Tailor.

Why the eff didn’t I marry her… Picture a skinny black man barely in nothing but a pair of glasses and black socks in the back of a car in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. Again, I have no quams with my body. It’s my face I hate the most. But anyway, I just received my first BJ (to make me last longer for round two), and this woman is…

Well, bouncing on my lap after she helps me get a condom on. Memories, Inspector…

And no, she wasn’t a “professional.” But paying for a woman… A Man Provides for his family. I’m broke. Life is a game. Love is the instruction. I can’t play… But Braxton, Virgil, Game On

1844 Days Without B III, Day 1285 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 230 ~Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A $400 expense… I heard that it can ruin most Americans. And if Virgil got sick… As sick as Braxton. Gone are the days I could help out his Favorite Girl. And what about my Favorite Girl? She hustles, and I try, but still Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil.

Monday, February 16, 2026

Journey 230 ~Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Beats “In God We Trust,” doesn’t it? It wasn’t the dollars you spent, I looked forward to hearing, ever.

The luxury of children, am I right? More like, am I write? Your back pocket, body, and brain. What a day to wake up to at The Bad Place. You know that place you would go to all the time, and when you came back, you didn’t want to talk for a long time. Sleepy?

That’s what today reminds me of. After “The Long Walk…” Maybe that’s what I should call The Bad Place. Unimaginable riches? For me, that is being with you, Dad. Fries?

Daddy, you got me there, but they didn’t hurt, did they? Golden fries, I should say—and green paper. We’re going on six years… Five years, 16 days. And color is still a new thing.

They speak to me, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s like how music speaks to you. Beauty and a beat. Let’s say that’s you and M Anime, my father. Beasties and a beat? That would be Virgil and me. Remind me to talk to my little bro. I need to go all Shadow to Chance on him. “Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.” Another long walk? The one wish? And isn’t it “Ironic?” My wish was for “The Long Walk” to have two winners. And yours? To be with me. Keep “Running Up That Hill.” And we both “die” on our respective hills. You just have much farther to go.

Today, you woke up wondering how you’re going to make it without an almighty dollar.

Do I “Speak Like A Child? 21, January 31, 2026.

But I’ll leave the Cowboy Bebop references and Faye Valentine kink to your favorite girl, M Anime. Really, Dad, Eww! You and my potential stepmom. But I’ll tell you this, Daddy, I’d rather be behind your door listening to hear teach you dirty Spanish than hear you breathe your last because a green piece of paper told you that you aren’t good enough. My father.

There is a little white ball of fluff that is your son and my little brother lying at your feet. Yes, V has trouble being woke, he’s weepy, and he’s a bit of a wimp. He is his Dad’s son.

I’m just kidding. But listen to Virgil. Listen to the Man In The Mirror. But SIGH! Money Talks, Braxton, Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
― By Sophia Grace

“Do not give way to misfortune, but press on the more bravely.”
― The Aeneid

1842 Days Without B III, Day 1283 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 229 ~Virgil, During Braxton’s Age~

WillLeave a comment

You know how I’ve felt since birth, 7, 13, every day of high school, dropping out of college, the day B died, becoming V’s Dad, breaking up with M, forgiveness, “And The Beat Goes On.” And “I’m Getting Too For This Shit.” Virgil, During Braxton’s Age

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Journey 229 ~Virgil, During Braxton’s Age~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And for the record, you need to shave. Looking raggedy, Old Man. If only Braxton were here…

(You’re) Timeless To Me… To him, you were. And your boy never aged a day until he was lying in his bed at the vet’s, doing his best Joel Miller impression. You cried like Ellie.

So I guess you don’t look that bad. And we’re talking about nineteen-year-old Ellie. You are not MAGA, those gross effers. So concerned with turning back the clock to white supremacy, sickness (measles, bubonic plague, and whatever I caught), and we cannot forget slavery. You hear that effing MAGA, Cracker Hats, and always FDT. Seriously!

However, did we end up on this subject? You’re forty-one, watching the “Days Go By.” Honestly, it’s written all over your face. It’s why we only have these chats on Sundays. Failures! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 9: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Should you add owning a harem to the list since you cited a nineteen-year-old? Eww!

Too many harem romances with college girls, magic glasses, demon chicks, and night elves, etc. And now you’ve been… Okay, more like I’ve been all into The Three Musketeers and The Man In The Iron Mask. French? And isn’t it Black History Month here in America? Not according to MAGA, but let’s not go there again. There is M Anime.

Thirty-Seven. Are you the man who can build a Heaven for her, or at least a Hell to share, ha-ha? You remember being, what, a teen, looking your thirty-six-year-old Old Man in the face and thinking him old. Where did your time go? Father of two, failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

What do you have to show for it? Hell! You’ve only arrived. What have I given you as a foundation? Man Up? First off, I shouldn’t say things like that to you. My apologies, dude.

But secondly, what do you have other than a plethora of random Pop Culture knowledge?

Sticky Fingaz’s Man Up? SIGH. You can find the owner of a certain pair of yabbos in less than fifteen minutes. But M Anime’s are a personal favorite; only you and medical professionals have seen them. And speaking of medical professionals, are you going to get your eyes checked? At least you don’t have to pay for it. Not with money but with time? And how will Virgil see six? Money! Virgil, During Braxton’s Age

1841 Days Without B III, Day 1282 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 227 ~Braxton’s Birthday Volume V~

WillLeave a comment

B’s twenty-one… Happy Birthday! If only you were here to see it. Speaking of seeing, um, my girl is very horny. And it’s Friday the 13th. Let’s just say she’s trying to raise the dead. I’m trying to get well. And celebrate Braxton’s Birthday Volume V

Friday, February 13, 2026

Journey 227 ~Braxton’s Birthday Volume V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, three maybe. Comedy comes in threes, or so they say. I don’t do comedy necessarily.

I don’t buy joke books. Jerk chicken? That would require a cookbook. Books on justice? The Constitution? I should get a printed copy before the Cracker Hats change it. Yeah!

What doesn’t change is the love I have for my sons. But today is Braxton Barks Bradford’s 21st Birthday. Welcome to Level 21. Does it still count if he’s on the Rainbow Bridge? How dare I? Considering how sick I’ve been, I’ll be driving up the Rainbow Road pretty soon.

(Cue Mario Kart Rainbow Road Theme). Any version? I doubt Braxton’s idea of Heaven would be a car ride. I can’t say Virgil Vivi’s would be either. 2-V aka V aka Five. My youngest son. But we’re here to remember Braxton, are we not? Pancake:

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It was the morning after Braxton’s First Walk. I sat on the bed with a plate of waffles. Or was it French Toast? Anyway, I left to get a drink. Not two minutes later, this ball of fluff, who wasn’t a year old, had jumped on the bed and nearly drowned in syrup and crumbs.

So the next day I had pancakes, and I placed them up high. My Ma says, “You must love pancakes.” And there you have it. I would tell Braxton, “I love you like pancakes,” meaning I placed him above everything. Of course, there’s the “I didn’t pour the BISQUICK, but you’re my pancake.” The Walking Dead… Look it up. Then there was the way he curled up in my lap.

Not much of a story, huh? Here’s another: On one of his birthdays, his Favorite Girl made him a cake with meat, potatoes, beans, cheese, and treats. We watched the first season of the reality show “Solitary,” Episode 3, “To Eat or Not to Eat” to be specific. And why?

Sophia, up to that very day, I had never seen Braxton give up on “people food.” It was blasphemy. Not that he didn’t enjoy it. But “For the First Time in Forever,” his eyes were bigger than his stomach, and he tapped out. Braxton only surrendered to food once more.

It’s why he didn’t see 16-21. He stopped eating. Here I am at 41, not eating. So uh Happy Birthday Braxton… Braxton’s Birthday Volume V

1839 Days Without B III, Day 1280 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

All For Love? I met B when he was barely two months old, and stayed until 13 days shy of his 16th birthday. He passed in his own bed at the vet’s. Right now… Most days, I know I should have followed him. All For One. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil.

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

1838 Days Without B III, Day 1279 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed—things my Olds never said to me ever.

So what am I saying it to you for? Isn’t it Ironic, I blame you when I feel like this?

Like, I might die? A stomach bug, a toothache, like I got hit by a truck, and every bone was breaking after the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, and there’s drowning.

Honestly, B, I shouldn’t have made it to forty-one, but here I am wishing you a Happy Birthday. More like Welcome to Level Twenty-One! Your birthday is tomorrow, of course.

But again, who knows if I’ll live to see it. Wrong words, Braxton Barks Bradford. But if I turn the computer a certain way as I sit here in bed, I can imagine it’s you lying against my leg, and now your little brother Virgil.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Must I be so mean? If you want to see ornery, yep, that’s me getting up after puking into a garbage can next to the bed. Eww! Do I blame that Jack’s chicken? Downright blasphemy. The best legs, breasts, and thighs can be found in a bucket/box of chicken ha-ha. For me, I’d say on your Favorite Girl, Cherry, or your potential stepmom, M Anime.

Speaking of which, maybe it’s all the horrible things I was thinking about her, before, then after the breakup, and now the reconciliation, when she needs me to be the man she needs me to be. The “Only One For Me.” Yeah, yeah, B, once upon a time, it was you and me against the world. But yabbos, hot sauce…

I’m not MAGA. Being a horrible human being can actually make me sick. Or I should sue Buffalo Wild Wings for that Wild Sauce. “Put you on the highway to Heaven like I’m your Uber.” Was that BWW or Hallelujah Heaven? Hell, it’s been five years, B III, I know.

Five years since your trip to the Rainbow Bridge. And if you told me I would die with all this pain and get to join you. I’d actually consider myself blessed. I’d follow you, Braxton.

And it’s a good thing I can’t eat anything. Diddly next to squat this paycheck, and next week is squat as in zero. So, about your birthday? M Anime says I listen. You’d say Stay Alive. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil

‘It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

WillLeave a comment

Death, Taxes, and Yabbos. Everything else is a roll of the dice. What about my boys? V was cuddling up against me this morning instead of being at the foot of the bed. B is cute, with V… Annoying? I’m not so mean, but the taxman cometh. B A Tax V

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What! Telling lies about my sons? Let’s say Braxton had very few friends. And then there’s 2-V, Virgil…

I swear if Braxton’s little brother walked on two legs and spoke a word of Spanish… He is a Chihuahua after all. Anyway, people would think I’m an abusive parent. I’m busy. I can be a bastard. And this week shows you how broke I am. But abusive, MAGA, never.

Is it wrong that I don’t REALLY know who Bad Bunny is? Hell, I still watched the halftime show on Sunday. And I hear it was a million or a 100 million fans better than…

Whatever MAGA did. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and always and forever FDT, E!

Is that how taxes work? How should I know? But did I mention I was broke? And as far as this week, so far, Inspector…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, time for some real confessions: Again, I liked Bad Bunny’s show. And allow me to sound like a Cracker Hat for a minute. Ahem! My “girlfriend,” my woman, M Anime, is Boricua. She’s been teaching me some naughty Spanish… But Spanish ads are annoying.

Why, Inspector? I suppose that if I must listen, if people are going to tell me sweet “Little Lies.” Suppose I must know that I’m a loser. Tell me in a language I’ll understand, Inspector.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what Virgil is saying either. I speak fluent Braxton. Inspector, around this time five years ago, I was the one talking to his box on the nightstand. And the only word that came out was-SORRY. I don’t get it.

I don’t get me. But for around $700… Are those slave prices? Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill… Effed me. How dare he or anybody? B III Braxton Barks Bradford. Anyway Inspector.

Seriously, my account is empty, but what about my empathy? Last night, M Anime was telling me about a horrific experience she endured or almost. The fear was very real.

Inspector, Five guys? Not the burger joint, though meat was involved. I’d cut them off…

So while she shared this, what do you think I was thinking? She’s safe and sound. Those S.O.B.’s my sadistic tendencies for all involved, them and her, and then “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and my deviance. Which is worse? B A Tax V.

1837 Days Without B III, Day 1278 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 223 ~Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t I say last week I didn’t feel like partying? So, last night? I’d watched a game I cared nothing about, bought food I couldn’t afford. Let V eat his heart out. And stared at the ceiling for hours. Upper room? “Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil.”

Monday, February 9, 2026

Journey 223 ~Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? A good night anyway. A full belly, an open heart (compared to MAGA)

And while Heaven is as good at its open-door policy as you were. I’ve never been so tempted not to go “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.” Not that I ever did in the first place, Dad.

“Diggin’” at you? Of course not, that’s why I used the “Cowboy Bebop” movie… Sorry.

But I can’t help being a bit jealous of you and Virgil after last night. My little brother deserved everything, no doubt. Street Tacos, Ranch Wings with the wild sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings, Fries for him, and Onion Rings for you. Do you remember when my Favorite Girl warned you about Onions? She had to ruin my fun. But “Here I Am” Dad pawing and thinking, I “Gotta Knock a Little Harder.” I’m trying.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Don’t worry, my father, I’ve eaten. The question is “Have you eaten yet?” I’m sure we’ve had Panda Express, but the glow box has been particularly annoying with those commercials, the STUPID Bowl, as you call it. And of all the colors I was introduced to on the Rainbow Bridge, orange is not my favorite color: Mother Effer’s orange, Daddy.

Yes, I know, Language! But I was here the first time that… Human… No, he’s not. Nothing like you, Dad, or any other human. Only I was with you the whole time. Then he left.

Why should either of us care right now? I only want to remember, to celebrate, to bark Here’s To The Night, the many nights, the many days, to the times…

The E-days, the moments grandma or grandpa would come with turkey and ham, or when we would go to that place that stuck me with pokey things (shudders), only you would get me McDonald’s and say you were sorry about all those people muzzling me.

These were our vacations, getaways, and holidays. When my favorite girl would come over, we would have all sorts of food and watch the glow box. Sweet. Peaceful and Awesome.

M Anime wasn’t my potential future stepmom yet, but you were talking to her, Daddy.

Honestly, I’m going to say it, “And in this moment, I am happy.” You’d never say that, I know. Who needs Heaven when “I only want to be with you.” But Braxton’s Verity Vacation Virgil

“But think about it― what would your pet’s Heaven be like?”
Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“There, the heroes who have lived justly and honorably enjoy endless leisure, free from the burdens of earthly cares.”
Aeneid

1835 Days Without B III, Day 1276 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son