Tag: Writing

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

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Would I rather have… *Olivier Martinez Impression* 100 MILLION DOLLARS! Or my Braxton alive and well. Virgil’s happiness. And all the promises of their stepmom? How about Jane? What about all the time I’ve wasted in life back? Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Since the critic wants me to be clearer. In English… I ended Braxton, joined MAGA, and wasted time.

Well, not so much the joining MAGA bit. But we’ll get to that Inspector. It’s still effed up that every time I FEAR everything is breaking away, I have to ask, where is my son.

Braxton’s on the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, a box on the nightstand, and some of his ashes are in an urn pendant. I hope some of him is left in his bed. Have we discovered cloning?

No! Because I’m wasting time, and that leads me to MAGA. Do you remember when Elon Musk, the DOGE effers, and the MAGA asshats were asking for workers to share five accomplishments for the week? I’m not a government employee. Though I identify as a Sith. And, at times, share the Empire’s ideals. Dark Side.

But this isn’t Star Wars; this is real life. My life at forty, and what am I doing, my Inspector?

  1. Mourned my Braxton’s passing.
  2. Seen to Virgil’s needs
  3. Texted B, V’s Stepmom
  4. Blogged and “written” daily
  5. Read two harem novels

When you look at it, it doesn’t sound so bad. Side Note: “I fixed” the laptop’s audio, or so I hope. Anyway, what makes me a horrible human being is that none of the things on this list made me a dime. And that’s what I need more than anything. Not love, lust, a life.

“For The Love Of Money.” Excuse me, Inspector, I got a bit distracted by Jane from “See Jane Go TV. Talk about cannons, melons, yabbos…

And don’t I have my own woman for that? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. See, that’s the other thing that makes me a “Bad Man.” Geez, Inspector, I’m not R. Kelly evil! And nowhere near Trump! And as always, “FDT.” What’s evil, Inspector?

Honestly, what’s done in the love of others is not a waste of time. It depends in a way, hm.

I love my furry boys. Virgil? Again, I consider him Braxton’s Bro. Virgil keeps breathing.

And M Anime? As The Spinners sang “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love.” No moment with her is ever wasted. You ask me, “Could You Be Loved.” By my boys, my Boricua (M Anime), and my books for some bucks. Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

1592 Days Without B III, Day 1033 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 342 ~Being A B-Student, Virgil~

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It’s only a little wire… I’m no tech guy. It’s only a little streak. What? My gaming streak. The 1000+ days I’ve read. My writing. It’s only a little hard. With B and V’s stepmom, I have an Enormous P… But I’m failing. Being A B-Student, Virgil.

Sunday, June 8, 2025

Meditation 342 ~Being A B-Student, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what would you grade yourself this morning? Are you striving for a B? Asking for F’s.

Fido, Effing, Failure. Man, you got plenty. And I know you wish you could stick to the effing. What? The friction in your hand? Not at all. You have plenty of lube. And also, Ew!

Your hands could be of use elsewhere… (Laughs hysterically). I know that’s pretty funny, friend. And speaking of friends, where’s your best one. Braxton’s in a box, a bunch of ash in a pendant, and hopefully barking up a storm in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge.

Wherever and whatever. I don’t blame B for the Heavens ripping. I blame myself. I told Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, that I wanted to be a veterinarian.

But I also wanted to be a virologist or an astronaut. There’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Not that I’m blaming them. But I know you will come this time next week. And since B’s gone, and his little brother Virgil is as strange as the poet. What about all the effing?

That’s one “F” you know far too well. Even as you ask the question like Norah Jones, Don’t Know Why,” I didn’t come. And you think, “I Touch Myself.” The Divinyls, really, bro? But Dear M is that type of woman. You can say the freaky deaky stuff. Filthy words.

And that’s what had you feeling anything but blame today. Blame for what? Yesterday, I was sitting here wanting to watch WWE Money In The Bank. What’s wrong with that?

Beats you. Worry about your O-Face? And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 17, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like fixing said O-Face? I can’t send that video to M Anime. You’re fine, attractive… Somehow, she wants you, but let’s just say Virgil isn’t the only one with a few teeth problems. Having the funds would help both of you. But you’re failing Virgil.

That’s what worries you. Hell, everything has been worrying you since Friday. Don’t look at me. Uh, that’s the whole point of being here. But again, Friday, I was sitting here all fine and dandy, and life said I needed a shot of FEAR. And after that, yesterday nature’s FURY.

Effing ISP! Effing storm! So many effing streaks lost. If you’d been a better student, you’d say I think I like this “Little Life.” That’s Braxton. Being A B-Student, Virgil

1589 Days Without B III, Day 1030 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 341 ~Love, See Braxton, Virgil~

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Love and fear’s commonality? You don’t have to look too far to find them. Fear has the advantage. Braxton’s gone. Virgil is trying. And M Anime has potential. But for fear. I need only open my eyes. I need a dictionary. Love, See Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, June 7, 2025

Meditation 341 ~Love, See Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have nothing to FEAR. And how much does “The Normal Heart” cost nowadays?

I had to mention 2014’s “The Normal Heart” during Pride Month. I’m not MAGA, Lu.

I’m not frightened at the mere sight of Gay people as they are. Lesbians? Lunalesca, if we get into that subject, we’ll be here for a few days. And speaking of those few days, 1588.

I continue to mourn my firstborn son, my Braxton. I swear, I need to make one of those character lists like Logan Jacobs does for his “Backyard Dungeon” series. Or I could publish one of Braxton’s books and wouldn’t have to explain him over and over again. I mean, what’s one dog’s Euthanasia? Would it mean more if I had a heart attack, Lady Lu?

It feels that way when Virgil goes for his check-ups.

I’m reminded that my heart doesn’t remain broken. Or is it? I shouldn’t constantly feel…

Well, on the verge of breaking. “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” And no, Lady Lu, I haven’t seen it, ok. My cowboy flicks of choice are 1993’s “Posse,” Sinbad in “The Cherokee Kid,” and the classic film “Shane.” And how did we get in on a few gunslingers?

Anyway, the bad is losing my Braxton and realizing Lady Lunalesca, my heart was broken.

So what’s good about having a heart? I think Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom, M Anime.

Potentially? As Lykke Li put it, there’s the “Possibility”. The way my heart stops… Beats… whatever, when I think of her. M Anime keeps a guy pumping the right way.

TMI? Well, “I think that she knows, think that she knows” that someday I may be “LoveStoned” over her. A particular part of my anatomy is hard as a rock for her. No doubt about it, Lady Lunalesca. But that leads us to the third part of the equation. O-Face…

Seriously, I was about to make one this morning for her as a video. Thinking anyway. But while I was “Day Dreaming.” I wonder if she does as I ask, “Close Your Eyes And Wander.” And way before that, there were memories of B III and the needs of 2-V.

Anyway, I try to define my lust for a woman, loving Braxton, liking Virgil. FEAR needs no defining. Every day, everywhere. Love, See Braxton, Virgil.

The cast of Characters today:

Braxton Barks Bradford, aka B III, aka Firstborn son, aka B. Born February 13, 2005,* – Died January 31, 2021. Deerhead Chihuahua. Most beloved son.

Virgil Vivi Bradford, aka 2-V, aka Second born son, aka V. Born October 20, 2020 – Adopted August 13, 2022. Mixed Breed Chihuahua. Braxton’s stepbrother. Would be, Protector of the realm…

M Anime, aka Madam Anime, aka potential stepmom. “Love” interest. Protector of kittens. Loves gardening and all things natural. Health-guru. A friend of many years.

1588 Days Without B III, Day 1029 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 340 ~Braxton Barks Library Virgil~

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I don’t draw up architecture plans; I write books. Do I? How about reading stories? “The Long Walk” was good. But the end needed more steps… “The Aeneid.” I named my secondborn Virgil, so I understand why he sleeps. Braxton Barks Library Virgil.

Friday, June 6, 2025

Meditation 340 ~Braxton Barks Library Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Hell! After reading “The Long Walk,” whose ending was somewhat, Meh. I’ve sampled “The Aeneid.” Snooze

Or am I lazy? Yesterday was a waste of a day. There is the exception of reading, M Anime.

You know, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. I swear I need to bind all of her stories together into one volume of work. And what of my stories? Braxton’s Life Matters.

So much so that I haven’t published either of my son’s two novels. I haven’t gotten around to building that magnificent temple in his memory that I told M Anime about. So that brings us to today. I was walking past my library/study/Braxton’s Bedroom/Virgil’s Bedroom. And what did I see? The Shawshank Redemption. The movie.

The Brooks Hatlen Memorial Library, to be precise. Is that sad? Braxton’s old room feels like a prison library, Sophia.

It was from time to time. Whenever Braxton would get into trouble. But I’ll never forget, on his final days, Braxton somehow found the strength to walk to his room.

Even when I brought him his water bowl, he insisted on going to his room to drink. He did it to spare me worry. I find myself in tears, wishing I had captured those moments. The Long Walk, Braxton Edition.

There’s one more thing I want for his temple, or museum, or mausoleum, or memorial. I was telling M Anime that I want to go all out. A fusion of Egyptian and Greek styles. I want to build something that truly honors Braxton’s Resting Place.

I want it to be built with Obsidian stone. Volcanic glass. There’ll be golden statues of my firstborn son. Paintings, Videos, and my books for him. Idolatry? You’re damn straight.

It’s not like I’m firing the 14th librarian of Congress because I’m a racist MAGA freak, Karoline Leavitt. Effing MAGA and FDT. However, let’s not discuss poor reading material. SIGH

The news? At least my stories are confined to fiction. B III’s existence is nonfiction.

But what about his and Virgil’s stepmom. Before writing a “love” story with her, hmm.

Sophia, I have a burning desire to see my books in bookstores, libraries, and bestseller lists. Just like Cherry boasts about. Am I joking? Whatever.

Then I can worry about the Red Room or, rather, the Black Room and everything I want to do with M Anime. The temple where my son may finally rest in peace. A bedroom where I don’t wake up exhausted each and every morning. Book it. Braxton Barks Library Virgil

1587 Days Without B III, Day 1028 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 339 ~B’s Backyard, Virgil’s Undertaking~

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I can’t say I’m digging life as of late. But there’s V. I dig the woman who could become his and B’s stepmom. I’d never put Braxton in a hole. But a box… And deep within my heart. How much do gravediggers make? B’s Backyard, Virgil’s Undertaking

Thursday, June 5, 2025

Meditation 339 ~B’s Backyard, Virgil’s Undertaking~

1586 Days Without B III, Day 1027 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It depends on how you define good. With it being Monday, June 2, 2025. Uh…

Today ain’t looking too good. Well, other than early this morning when I saw your potential stepmom. I swear I’d be worse than The underdog MR Williams on YouTube and his kids. “COVER YOUR EYES!” There’s always another reason to miss you, Little Braxton. You see far too much from the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, Elysium, or wherever your comfy spot is. And I’m trying to keep Virgil from joining you anytime soon. For what? Have you seen the backyard lately? As I said, today has been far from good, B.

Virgil is digging into the blankets as much as I am. And the only two-legged that might know I’m alive, besides your stepmom again, is whoever brings me dinner tonight.

Yeah, with what cash? SIGH.

Talk about digging myself into a hole. Even further into the bed. Your stepmom’s tight…

No, we don’t need to talk about that specifically. However, you were talking to me earlier today, as it’s Monday. Your stepmom and I… Seriously, I need to remember this is all speculation. Yeah, like your spirit talking to me. Seeing a spectacularly striking and sexy woman in a crystal ball. I know, Braxton, I know you don’t need to hear all that. Um eww.

From “Between The Sheets,” you and your brother will have several siblings to protect; B. Your soul and Virgil’s ability to skedaddle. If he hasn’t dug a hole to China.

Hell! Anywhere but here, right. “Memories of Things,” Rough nights with the stepmom for fun.

Okay, I’ll stop before you go and “runnoft” or ride the winds, and if you retch… Well, I wouldn’t call the Ghostbusters. At least I would know you’re really alive somewhere in the great beyond. And that you’re eating good too. Did I mention I’m ordering dinner, hoping it will make me feel better? Or is it the fact that there are no vittles in this house because I haven’t found time? It’s not much of it when you’re dead. Like I can talk, right?

Your potential stepmom is sinfully angelic, and Virgil is as white as a ghost. Honestly?

Existence isn’t a prison yard or a graveyard. Braxton isn’t your backyard. I need to stop digging graves. Look for treasure. B’s Backyard, Virgil’s Undertaking

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 338 ~Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s~

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I had the best son ever in B, and then… A heart murmur? Is he blind? He’s getting old. Have you thought about Euthanasia? I said he’d see 20. Nope. I have known a woman for decades, and she’s I’m “All Yours.” I wonder. Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s.

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Meditation 338 ~Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t done anything to protect the bees. How long would humanity last without them? Are we screwed?

As per usual, I’m only thinking about one “B” in particular, my firstborn, my Braxton.

Well, that would be three B’s, Braxton Barks Bradford, a.k.a. B III. Even before his kidney failure diagnosis, I thought about what LIFE would be without him. And I was perfectly prepared to drag him to twenty and beyond. Sunday, January 31, 2021. He’d be twenty now, but he didn’t see his sixteenth birthday, which would have been February 13th.

Inspector, I was preparing for the worse way back then like some effing death curse.

Virgil? How do you think my second-born got his name? The one who guided Dante through Hell. I should have posted above the door after Virgil was rescued and adopted.

“Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here”
― Divine Comedy

What’s LIFE brought to him?

The Secret? Rhonda Byrne wrote about manifesting dreams or something. It’s been years since I read that book. And since I can manifest a nightmare, what about my dream lover.

“I’m staring at a goddess. She’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more minute wondering how I’ve gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman… the Goddess. Goldie. She says her name is Goldie.”
Marv

Or M Anime. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. A Boricua Queen. It took me forty years, Inspector, and what can I tell her? I’ve been “Waiting for a Girl Like You.” Every time I think I’ve driven her away, she comes back. The things she says. I swear to God!

And Inspector, I’ll never be a religious man. But I’m going right to Hell for my B III’s loss. And for the LIFE me and M Anime might have together. Those we could create, hmm.

But Braxton went to the “Rainbow Bridge.” M’s an angel.

So, if I can be blessed to have two such lives. A furry little boy I sent to Heaven. And a woman who is saying, “Fly Me To The Moon,” “Take my body to the moon, watch me glow up,” Take me “To the stars.” I must think very highly of her ha-ha. Black hair, brown eyes (I think), and an incredible body. “But I’m love-stoned, and I could swear that she knows, I think that she knows.” Seriously, Inspector, how many songs was that? The things the two of us send each other. Pictures sans clothing, (pumping) tunes, pornography…

“Make this night what it should be.
Please? Show me the stars.”
Our Mrs. Reynolds

“Perfect.” So why can’t I manifest such things for the rest of my LIFE? Short answer: I don’t remember how. What? Virgil’s Manifestations On B’s.

1585 Days Without B III, Day 1026 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 335 ~Virgil, Thirst Can B…~

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We all miss a bit of common sense. If someone is thirsty, you give them a cup of water. If Virgil is thirsty, he can walk right down the hall to the water bowl. If I want to be successful, I could go downstairs and write. “Virgil, Thirst Can B…”

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Meditation 335 ~Virgil, Thirst Can B…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How’s the first looking. You would be better off asking Braxton, M Anime, or even Virgil. Yourself?

It’s the “1st of tha Month,” a Sunday, and Braxton is still gone. You know, that sounds familiar. It was only Monday, February 1, 2021. And I was lying where you are, as pathetically covered in fur. But instead of remnants of Braxton, you have Virgil. And why is that? Because Virgil is too scared to get up and go get a drink of water and then come back. Not that you’re mad at him, but it’s annoying. Even when Braxton was dying, I brought his water bowl to him. Braxton was a brave boy. He could barely walk, but he would go to his room, wanting to get a drink. Again, you ask why. Because he loves you. And…

I fail Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I should be ashamed. But what about you? Hell, it’s been seven hours, and you’ve already failed number six. What are you doing? Your best MJ impression. “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” But don’t you thirst for more, my friend?

Dignity? I was Braxton’s Daddy. I’ll always be. You can be that and be a Dad to Virgil as well. You can stop disparaging yourself. As M Anime asked, in her own way, be the man she needs you to be. Who knows? You could beat Depression. But Acceptance. Never!

Dirty? Sure. If depraved, deviant, and disgusting, stories make money. If you can be the Ding-a-Ling that M Anime likes. If you can be a billionaire, douche. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you have to make this… Your writing comes first. You must thirst like Braxton.

Seriously, it wasn’t thirsting only for a drink of water. It was for happiness. And Braxton knew that wasn’t possible. But to stop worrying, weeping, and wallowing as you are.

You’re still sitting in bed, making up excuses as to why you can’t go out. You’re utter OMG over and over. The reason switches from moment to moment. And if you put existence first. Not just thriving but surviving, as THEY say. Question, Whose THEY?

Answer. Like the song “My Future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.”

Honestly, that’s you. You don’t have to be “Clint Eastwood” to do it. Get Angry. Thirsty. Virgil, Thirst Can B…

1582 Days Without B III, Day 1023 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 334 ~Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil~

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I’m all about that bass, no treble. Escape correcting others of my pronouns. What am I? Full MAGA. Ew! At least I’m not telling people we’re all going to die. Well, more in a “Don’t Look Up” way. But Virgil needs to live. “Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil”

Saturday, May 31, 2025

Meditation 334 ~Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If that were the case, I’d be screaming my head off. Crying, complaining while crapping cash.

Ew! But having money is the shit because “Oh, somehow I know there’s more to life than this.” “Only God Knows Why.” Life and God; “Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?” My son, my Braxton. Am I not going to talk about him today? What about his little brother Virgil? Is it better to talk about the living, not the dead? Republicans…

“Well, we all are going to die.”
Senator Joni Ernst

Geez, Louise, Lady Lunalesca, I’m not that bad to say such a thing in a room full of constituents. And the Senator had some bass in her voice, too. So I want bass and billions.

Why? To keep Virgil from ending up like Braxton. One more problem off my plate or the exam table. Lunalesca, Virgil is alive and well.

Am I lying? Well, his look-at-me fee was $190.00. Do you remember when I was bragging about the car dealership waving that $189.00? I can’t do that anymore. With everything…

Virgil’s check-up, with six months of medication. The vet did say Virgil Vivi is heartworm-free. And speaking of free, they threw in a nail trim. So, with all of that and a late lunch, the damage comes out to around $270.00. So what’s the bad news. The TOOTH, dear Lu.

Virgil needs a teeth cleaning in the worst way. Like father, like son. Which is why I keep my mouth shut. All the dental work I need. And when I speak plainly, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

My voice has no bass, I’m afraid to say, Lunalesca.

Did I want a burger that badly yesterday? Or did I want to hear someone call me ‘Sir’ over ‘Ma’am’?

Another reason for Braxton and Virgil. With every bark, beat, and breath, all I hear is Dad, Daddy, or Father. I don’t think Virgil has ever been so grateful after the vets brought him back to me. He nearly didn’t make it to the appointment after the vet’s humiliating call. You know me, I’d do anything for my furry sons.

Don’t be such a drama KING. So, the receptionist called me ‘Ma’am’ over the phone.

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom says she can fall in love with my maleness. I’m quite the guy until someone brings me back to reality, like what happened to Meghan Trainor? She’s happy… Me, Boys, Stepmom? Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil

1581 Days Without B III, Day 1022 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 333 ~Zero To Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m reading Stephen King’s The Long Walk. Writing is like participating. I need to win. I’m not my Virgil’s hero; I “failed” my Braxton. But I’d rather have pet bills than euthanasia papers. Speaking of caring. There’s a girl. Zero To Braxton, Virgil

Friday, May 30, 2025

Meditation 333 ~Zero To Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… “Pontypool Changes Everything,” maybe? I’m afraid not. I won’t be buying any books this week. Paycheck?

Zero. That’s for last week. And this week, I didn’t fare much better. But I was at the Day Job, and if last night was any indication, I was exhausted. The week I worked won’t even pay for Virgil’s Vet Appointment today. I don’t look forward to reading Virgil’s bill.

Sophia, I didn’t want to read Braxton’s Euthanasia papers either. But they’ve rested on the coffee table for four long years. As long as Virgil’s been alive. Keeping Virgil alive.

“And even though you passed. Going on four long years. Still waking up late at night crying tears.”
I Wish

That’s the rub. And yes, nobody needs to be singing any R. Kelly. My son B III is a hero. Braxton is Love. Braxton is Cruel. Braxton was close to Happiness. Like “Kill is Kiss.”

More Pontypool? Because reading bills, bottles, and bureaucracy kinda sucks.

Like reading my works? I’d like to stay up long enough to write. Why’d I choose this way? I chose nothing for if I had well… “I’ll always love my Mama,” but mistakes were made.

“I chose nothing. I was born, and this is what I am.”
Achilles, Troy (2004)

Achilles wasn’t a hero. Hercules was. The animated one, not Kevin Sorbo’s edition. MAGA-loving douche. One more reason I prefer to keep my head in the pages. While this is a time for heroes, I think the American consensus seems to be, as Tina Turner sang, “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” And did I hear correctly that the Cheeto and Chief want a dome? SIGH.

Figuratively, I hope. But you never know. I don’t want to talk politics, but we could be living in Paradigm City from The Big O.

Speaking of anime and The Big O, there’s my boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime. “One More Night” was spent texting her. The Phil Collins version, not Maroon 5. But I keep thinking about how she said their “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. My heart…

Anyway, last night, it wasn’t only “Sexxx Dreams.” What comes after? If everything goes according to plan, the “Possibility.” Hell, possibilities. After coming comes creation.

“The opposite of war isn’t peace. It’s creation.”
Jonathan Larson

Creating children, can we have a home, “I can be the man you need me to be,” I want to tell her. But Sophia, the last promise I made to someone. I told my B III that he’d be ok.

With M Anime, I’d be both hero and villain. Like Braxton. Zero To Braxton, Virgil

1580 Days Without B III, Day 1021 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 332 ~Braxton’s So Forward, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t be rude, randy, or rough B. “Treat Her Like A Lady.” I met The Temptations (baby me). Cut to God only knows talking to his potential stepmom who’s “I Like It Rough.” Where am I going with this “The Long Walk?” Braxton’s So Forward, Virgil.

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Meditation 332 ~Braxton’s So Forward, Virgil~

1579 Days Without B III, Day 1020 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? They were better when I was around, that’s for damn sure. Haven’t felt that forever.

Wanted? Sure, your little brother Virgil is getting into the habit of wanting to cuddle with me as soon as I finish a meal. Unlike you, he’s not looking for crumbs. What does he want?

The Hell if I know. But he’s not barking “NO – I WILL NOT DIE TODAY!” like from The Beach, especially with his vet appointment coming up on Friday. I am scared of that, B.

“When you are with me, I’m free. I’m careless, I believe.” I believe in God? If he, she, or it would have saved you, I would have been the fastest convert in history. But no.

Honestly, Braxton, I continue to be life’s bitch. You know what they say: “The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.”

Ew! I know Braxton, I know. “Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, ’cause we men, ain’t we?” Glory be what is with all the movie quotes today? “Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law.” What, am I Superbad? I’m not lying on the couch.

Only by some miracle did I make it to the Dining Room table, and I started thinking about “The Talk.” You know the conversations I’d have with you about treating your Favorite Girl with respect when she came over to watch movies. Awkwardly good memories.

As I was telling Inspector Echo today, Wednesday, May 28, 2025. After the energy shot detox. My mind’s clearer. I haven’t sent Virgil away because, well, I have my reasons.

You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Notice how I’m not telling myself to stop calling her that. That’s what’s scaring me, B. I’m sure you’d like her if she let you “jump her bones,” like you did your Favorite Girl. Very forward of her and you, but after that…

There’s a reason she’s your Favorite. But M Anime has potential… pics sans her clothing.

There’s a “Possibility,” something can happen with her. Talk about forward. Can I? Will she? We talk about sex, significant others, sins, and then I’m sending Virgil to your room.

But “Love Is a Long Road” and like the Stephen King novel I’m on “The Long Walk.” I don’t think I can win. Never stopped you. Braxton’s So Forward, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad