Tag: Breathing

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

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How can one be so unfortunate? The death of a child. Wow! That’s dark. And Braxton was grown… in dog years. But I’m forty, scared to death (I wish) that my father is going to beat my ass for failing math. Am I out of bucks? B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

1404 Days Without B III, Day 845 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Judging by how late I am today… Even on a relatively good day. Three hours?

Only if I had used those hours on… I don’t know. One of “my” novels that doesn’t offend everyone. Or doing something on camera that offends everyone, and I hope you didn’t see. Yeah. And I could have stuck around at the Day Job to make more money. Virgil, B.

He’s not going to save himself. But then again, I couldn’t save you either. And most days, I don’t even want to save myself. For what? The highlights of my day were only having three hours at the Day Job. There was the McRib sandwich. And that was only because I couldn’t afford a Big Mac Meal. And then there was the nap I took that brings us to now.

How long is a nap?

Well, you’ve gone for The Big Sleep, took The Long Walk, went on The Last Ride. And as usual, I wish I could be right there with you. What? Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? It’s the fact that I woke up yet again. Unfortunate, isn’t it Braxton for Virgil?

Positivity. That Braxton, I leave to you. At present, I feel like that D student I was in summer school, knowing that it was enough to not have your grandpa beating my behind yet again. At worst, I’m Winston Smith from 1984, facing the mirror and being told I’m the last man. But as always, I remain your daddy. So how dare I dream of harming myself, hatred, and horniness…

That reminds me of when I was coming back. I was listening to my Spotify Wrapped 2024. And of all the songs that made this list, this is how I know you’re talking to me, B. Suddenly, I thought about It’s My Turn To Fly by The Urge. And call it coincidence (the urge). Ha-ha, I hear that song, Fat Bottomed Girls. I’m more for Yabbos… But Baby Got Back

It’s my turn to fly
I’m proving ground tonight
Try to be the best that I can
Grown to be a man
Only human can understand
I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!
It’s My Turn To Fly

Hey, listen here
Now, I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey, big woman, you gonna make a big man of me
Now get this
Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen

Anyway, my point is I need a reason to… exist. And again, getting up on the wrong side of the bed. On one side, there’s your grave, B. On the other, the business of existence.

Braxton, I’d have more bucks, babes, and beds if only I had done better. And you… B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 156 ~Let’s B Edgy Virgil~

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Livin’ on the Edge, Livin’ on a Prayer, living for the love of you. I feel like I’m toppling over. “NaNoWriMo” ended, and I barely won that. Everything feels like it’s overflowing. And all that edging before breaking on the 1st. “Let’s B Edgy Virgil”

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Meditation 156 ~Let’s B Edgy Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What else is new? Um, pushing Virgil to the edge of the bed. That’s the big one. Right?

Considering how cold it’s been. Then, one of the neighbor’s kids said they were worried about Virgil. And did I forget to buy another dose of medication? Uh, the money…

That was never a question when Braxton was around. I still remember when Braxton got sick. And the one vet at Banfield I openly “disliked” saved him. And the way the guy looked at me… When I tried to take my own life by starvation and dehydration, my Old Man didn’t want to pay my medical bills either. But Braxton is innocent. So is Virgil.

And while I wouldn’t give Virgil up for anything, the thought of what if I had left him on the other side of that fence? The edge of freedom or what, Inspector Echo? It’s a fear that haunts me now.

When Virgil has tried to cuddle these past few mornings, I’ve pushed him away. Really! I’ve gone so far as to move a pillow between him and me as I read or waste time, Inspector.

Virgil hasn’t fallen. And the drop wouldn’t hurt him. Contrary to popular belief. Virgil runs around here. He jumps up and down. V can climb stairs. He barks, cries, dreams…

Probably about someone much better than me. I know. I wish I had fallen into a grave when my feet hit the floor. Didn’t I talk about having a dream about dead men last week? Maybe. All I know is today, I woke up to the sound of Johnny Cash’s Ain’t No Grave. My Braxton.

What you needed to hear…

“Do you wish to be the son who gives his father what he asks for or what he needs?” Legion

When did I get all religious? It’s that time of the year. Or am I upset that some blonde temptress broke me the day after No Nut November? Inspector, I’ve gone from nurses to dancers and gymnasts. I gave $10.00 to a “secretary” on Onlyfans. And now nuns and angels. Talk about being on the edge. Or flashing my “package,” and why. The edge, huh.

Willy’s Wanton Writings And Whacking

Madness. I’m on the edge of finishing “my” novel. I give myself far too much credit with NaNoWriMo being over. But I won for the first time in years. I’m on the edge of finishing another book. I’m upset that I’ve broken my Christmas tradition. You see today’s date, Echo. I’m existing on the edge. Still, Let’s B Edgy Virgil.

1403 Days Without B III, Day 844 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

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During NaNoWriMo, was I ashamed of what I was writing? And now I’m embarrassed that these hands aren’t given the keys to the Day Job when I’ve been there over a decade and my “boss” has been there, um, two years… Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Meditation 155 ~To B Humiliated, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But as much as I love my firstborn son? Or how about RELATIONS? Yet Humiliation…

No love, I’m not talking about my being humiliated, “doing the deed.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m into some worrisome, wicked, and WTF kinks and fetishes in the throes of passion. Spanking? Yeah, I have issues. But I’m not talking about any of those. Later…

Dearest, today I’m talking about people. My Dad, ha-ha. My father. Memories of my old Day Job. And the people I meet daily. If I wanted any early Christmas present besides getting my dog/son back. Or the almighty dollar. The destruction of MAGA. Starting with its leader, Donald Trump. I would decide never to be humiliated ever again. Why don’t I try not to wake up in the morning? Today was one of those days, my love. More Humiliations Galore!

It’s why I tend to surround myself with so many beautiful things. Choosing not to be humiliated is like choosing not to breathe. It’s a nice thought, but don’t give me hope that it won’t happen again. I’m already tearing up. But I’m not ashamed to cry. Not for B…

And then play the song “He’s My Son.” Niagara Falls, baby doll. I’m not ashamed that I love Braxton more than my life. Hell! I’m still reading “The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend.” And if I ever in a million years would say that what I did was the right thing. It would be purely on the grounds that he didn’t have me shame him. Poor boy.

There was this movie, love…

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Love Story

Love means never having to be ashamed of being who you are. And I don’t love who I am. And so here I am, embarrassed. But who am I to you? Husband, Hero, a hell-bound best friend. How about a humiliated human being? I’ve been watching a few things all about men who would be heroes if just for one day. Only to end up as influencers, showing what not to do. Crucified. Or locked in the Ministry of Love. Um, 2023’s Share, The Book of Clarence, and 1984. I’m not ashamed to admit wanting Suzanna Hamilton, aka Julia. But to live ashamed of keys, knowledge, and keeping my cowardice. Oh, To B Humiliated, Virgil.

1402 Days Without B III, Day 843 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

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I’m thankful I have so much work that I can’t think about B. Last week… But today I have to go and visit his grandparents. I have to try to clean the house since his aunt is visiting. And I have to take care of his baby bro. “Virgil, I’ll B Thankful”

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

1397 Days Without B III, Day 838 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Happy Happy Turkey Day! Because Thanksgiving… Braxton… A pat on the head and some food.

That, my son, is what we call Tradition, Tradition! Tradition! But not today, I’m afraid.

Afraid when I’m supposed to be thankful. I’m as thankful as a Native American learning the truth about the pilgrims. Braxton, I wish you would get in trouble right now so I could send you away and watch Karlee Grey and a Native Guy… I’m thankful for 161 days, B.

That was the time before, and you passed that your Old Man wasn’t thinking well… Second Head Shenanigans. Please remind me, B III, that if Second Circle Creations or Unexpected Goats don’t take off, I’m naming my company Second Head Shenanigans. I’m thankful I’m alive, so I might see it someday. Existing? Not really, Braxton. Just one of dem days.

Don’t Take It Personal… How can you not? It’s Thanksgiving. And do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about all the words I was thankful for saying and the ones I did not. Like, Stay? I told you we weren’t going HOME; I was sorry I couldn’t save you. I told you, Braxton… you had my permission to go. And what came next? Veni, Vidi, Vici.

I’m sure you did that when you took The Rainbow Bridge. And today, more than ever… doubtful… I want to join you because it beats going to your grandparents. Inevitable, ain’t that right, B? If I want to provide for your brother and me. Am I the baddie? B III. Taking everything from your grandparents…

It doesn’t stop me from feeling like Plymouth Rock landed on me. And everything hurts. I’m thankful for your grandparents, B, but my peace has been wrecked for today, sadly.

I’m thankful to your aunt, who’s visiting on Saturday. But everything is a mess. I’m thankful for M Anime’s butt today, but I can’t tell her I’d like to stuff her today. I mean, I’m more of a Yabbos guy. Don’t lie, Braxton, you were as well… with your aunt.

Speaking of Yabbos, I’m thankful for Cherry’s. Though she’s never let me see her cherries. And I’m thankful for leotards. One day, it’s nurses. Next, it’s dancers, gymnasts, and swimsuits. Your Dad’d a creep and a weirdo, but I’m not MAGA. Virgil, I’ll B Thankful

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 149 ~Breathe Virgil. Don’t B~

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When my other boy wakes up… V? He must ask himself, what fresh Hell is this? I’m much the same when I head out to the Day Job… When I’m out anywhere. I’m afraid of the skin I’m in, the steps I take, and a sigh while breathing. Breathe Virgil. Don’t B

Wednesday, November 27, 2024

Meditation 149 ~Breathe Virgil. Don’t B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… By being me? Yes, we can talk about what time it is. 6:21 PM, WTF! But to live…

Is that what I’m calling the next five hours? How about the six when I was at the Day Job? We can even go back, checks notes 1396 days. You know AB, as in After Braxton. Two things. One, I didn’t want to live before I even met Braxton. Two, I shouldn’t be taking any notes. The way I’ve been writing this month. But we’ll get to that Inspector Echo.

Why? Because this body I wield doesn’t know how to stop breathing. That’s the sin I’ve been recovering from. I’ve been brushing up on the STATE RELIGION coming next year. However, Dear Inspector Echo, Sia said it best. And no, Not Succubus Lord’s Madam Sia…

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing
I’m alive.”
Alive, Sia

For the wages of sin is death? Don’t I wish.

The things I contemplate while tears blur my vision at the Day Job. Have I truly mourned for my firstborn son today? If I did, it was more a result of exhaustion than genuine grief. Despite the poignant words I read this morning. What’s one more book on pet loss…

Anyway, at the Day Job, I started thinking about three things. All about FEAR, Inspector. The first was the simple fact that I hate the skin I’m in. And not because MAGA says I should. The second was that I didn’t want to breathe. Fearing your own next breath… No one knows what it’s like. This leads to number three: I have to show why I’m not worthy of it, which leads to my writing.

Inspector, I wrote two whole novels about the loss of my son. But what did I write about last night? I stole an SFM Anime about a girl and three soldiers. Then I took a scene from Bible Black New Testament, Episode 4 Recollection. Add to that a mass… whatever.

But I don’t dare ask where everyone is going. Bingo? No! I breathe, and thus, I’m guilty, or so I’ve been told. But I don’t believe in God. I believe “There is another world. There is a better world. Well, there must be.” Because my son is there and I’m not worthy of it, Echo.

Because I am consumed by fear. And with what this world is… Why not write about worse places and evil men? Breathe Virgil. Don’t B.

1396 Days Without B III, Day 837 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 148 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes~

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WARNING: 18+ For elements of the novel I’m writing. If you don’t know what Bible Black is, I’d advise you to go no further. Me, on the other hand… I can do worse. But it’s in the name of providing for my boys. My family… Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Meditation 148 ~Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But boys will be boys… When it comes to Braxton… What Makes A Good Man?

I do! Braxton is a good man. And even Virgil, who was busy crying today, is a better man than me. I hope it was because he was scared of a lizard. Hell! I was terrified, but I protected my son. But how do I protect you and ours from…

Chapter Seventeen: What Goes In Her Body?
Antonio watches as Sofía is violated before taking his revenge and violating Sofía himself. Before Cherry murders him.

  1. From Antonio’s POV. Begin in a mockup of a hospital room. Sofía, in a hospital gown, is forced into sex with three fake doctors.
  2. Antonio, dressed as a patient, watches, remarking on the doctors’ brutality with Sofía. Antonio thinks about how he’s taken William’s place masturbating to Sofía.
  3. The fake doctors are rewarded by using Sofía multiple times as she attempts to fight them. The men are Richard Thornfield’s most loyal bodyguards.
  4. The doctors orgasm multiple times with Sofía. As they finally stop to rest. Antonio orgasms by himself before reaching for the shotgun Cherry bought.
  5. Before the doctors can react, Antonio shoots all three of them and walks over to Sofía. Antonio says no other man will touch her.
  6. Sofía realizes that Antonio is the stalker she was protected from. Sofía blames Antonio for being sexually trafficked since taking Richard Thornfield’s Max-Mart job.
  7. Antonio has sex with Sofía as he admits that all he wanted to do was be with her after all this time. His obsession.
  8. The sex becomes more brutal as Antonio begins to flashback to the first time he saw Sofía. He recounts the times their paths crossed.
  9. Antonio finishes and lies beside Sofía, who is too weak to move after the multiple violations. Sofía begins begging for everything to be over.
  10. Antonio says he can never forgive her, Richard Thornfield, William, or himself. But that Cherry allowed him to have her and see her last.
  11. Antonio uses Sofía’s mouth to pleasure himself and have one more release orgasming on her face. Antonio then pulls a knife to kill Sofía.
  12. Sofía struggles against Antonio’s strength. Before Antonio can stab Sofía, he is shot multiple times by Cherry. Antonio dies watching Cherry rescue Sofía leaving.

I’m a terrible man… sick writer. I’ve no right to mention Braxton And Virgil’s Mistakes.

1395 Days Without B III, Day 836 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

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WARNING: 18+ For elements of the novel I’m writing. Or am I being lazy yet again? I wonder how many stories I read that were suitable for my son. I didn’t start writing “decent” stories until he died. But for today, Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

1390 Days Without B III, Day 831 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Virgil won’t. I know that’s a mean thing to write. Braxton, it’s just the truth.

Thinking it and saying it out loud… Save it for the books, right? Do you remember all those days I spent writing? And every day I read. You were bored out of your mind B.

So today, sit beside me, my OLDEST son, and sleep.

Chapter Fourteen: We Sell Everything… Including Pussy
Antonio, with Cherry’s help, begins his acts of sabotage against Sofía to make her undesirable to Richard Thornfield.

  1. From Antonio’s POV. Begin in Cherry’s limo, where Cherry presents Antonio with a drug. The drug is meant to make a person pass out.
  2. Antonio goes to the bunker movie set and switches Sofía’s sexual drug for the one that will render her unconscious. Meanwhile, Cherry distracts William.
  3. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield gives Sofía the pill and begins to undress her. But Sofía passes out softly. Richard Thornfield, angry, only continues.
  4. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield has sex with Sofía while passed out. When finished, he calls to William. Cherry grabs Antonio, pulling him away.
  5. Antonio yells at Cherry for what was done to Sofía, both by Richard Thornfield and others, as he watches the movie that was made.
  6. Cherry assures Antonio the plan is working. Giving him a baseball bat and instructing him to destroy the next movie set. A convenience store.
  7. Antonio, in a mask, arrives with several men, William and Sofía to the store, finding it wrecked. Sofía jumps to William breaking the rules.
  8. The men want to punish Sofía, but William calls Richard Thornfield and arranges a parking lot scene in which Sofía has sex in cars.
  9. Antonio grows increasingly angry but is once again pacified by Cherry. Cherry gives him a revolver and tells him to leave it for Sofía.
  10. In the classroom movie set, Antonio leaves the revolver within Sofía’s reach, who takes the chance to try and escape. Sofía fails to escape.
  11. Antonio watches as Sofía and another girl are punished harshly. They surrender themselves for two new girls. But William/The Director has to take them.
  12. Afterward, Antonio and Cherry overhear Richard Thornfield railing against Sofía. Richard Thornfield says that Sofía is more trouble than she’s worth. Antonio begins worrying.

SLEEP! Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

WillLeave a comment

There’s “Stuff & Thangs” I find. Fantasies, Actress names, reasons to cry, complain, or lose cash. But 400 words daily, 146,000 yearly, with 1,168,000 in 8 years. Was one Emergency, Escape, Exit, or Love? “Trump is coming…” “Virgil, We’ll B Leaving.”

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering. But the thought of leaving, the uncertainty, and the changes we may face, it’s a lot to bear. And the color blue is a reminder of my…

Balls? Bollocks? I should work on my UK English, considering that with each passing day, the defeat, the ending, and the finale of this grand experiment known as the United States of America draws nigh. For the record, today is Sunday, November 10, 2024. Am I still getting ready for the workday? I should be preparing to move us, love.

When the state of our country does not consume me, I find myself still mourning for my lost boy, Braxton. He was my firstborn, my strength during the first Trump Presidency. Virgil, “our” son, doesn’t have that same resilience. But as a father, I have to protect my family, not vice versa. This truth weighs heavily on me as I prepare for these uncertain times. Every single day… The sickness…

You want sickness. You haven’t even gotten to Tuesday, November 12, 2024, when I showed TeamSkeet Bipartisan B****e starring Melody Parker. That was the tip of the iceberg… My mind…

Businesswise, I’ve gone from what I spoke of last week… Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. There’s been the Midnight Sleazy Train Series. Characters such as Asuka Langley Soryu, Jessie Rasberry, and Jessie from TR. Yuffie Kisaragi has made an appearance. I just saw “Karen” again today, which is vintage anime. Keraku-no-Oh – King of Pleasure. And all that so I can finish my novel for NaNoWriMo. And even with all our money, we need even more. You know the man you married, my love. I mean…

Yasmina Khan and Jewel Staite are on the “reality” side. Even Cherry’s massive melons. Woo!

I say all of this, and why, my love? Because even with who I am and what I do, I respect women. Your body, your choice. But have you heard them since the election? Madness.

It’s madness that a black person’s life can be snuffed out. Speaking of the wrongness…

Land of the free, home of the brave indeed. “A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace For every one of us,” as the song goes. What about a nation? Somewhere…

“We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.” I have more faith in my furry son’s spirit and/or energy. And the love you and I have, rather than the power that will descend January. Should we go? Virgil, We’ll B Leaving

1388 Days Without B III, Day 829 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

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You know why I don’t feel better about my writing. It’s because I refuse to watch the news these days and see the horrible things they’re posting, printing, and prattling about. I’m Shakespeare by comparison. But this will only be “A B Paper Virgil.”

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

1383 Days Without B III, Day 824 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve wasted 40 minutes of mine, at least… Don’t worry, it’s all been sleeping, Braxton.

So what, I’ve traded one vice for another? Considering I put you to sleep… (Gasps)!

Braxton, must I bring that up every day? I still have the paperwork in the Den. Your freedom papers, in a way. But I won’t talk about freedom for much longer anyway with who will be in charge come January. If only we knew how good we had it back then, B. Well, you did. Dogs always know. And even in the end, you begged me to save my paper.

Braxton, you just wanted to come “home.” And when will I tell that story? Madness. Braxton, I didn’t understand my writing, which made me part of the resistance. Well now. The rebellion. Dare I say, righteous? As the world ends…

Not that I can be or write something so profound as “The Man Who Watched the World End” by Chris Dietzel. When did we become a book club again? Anything that keeps me from the news these days. So it’s like old times except this is more than the Day Job. The things I would do… The paper, as in cash, money, I needed to keep you fed. And happy…

Writing? I need to be doing a lot more of that. And yesterday was the first semi-decent day. Braxton, I’ve seen better on your training pads. And what about Virgil. He’s living the high life. He is on the bed, and I haven’t had to kick him out. You know I need private time, sigh…

Speaking of which. And I shouldn’t be telling you this. But I’m always one for coincidences, B. I was looking up a girl for the novel I’m writing… Where have you heard that before? Hmm. Anyway so she was in “Himawari Wa Yoru Ni Saku.” The source said that the movie was released in January of 2021. I swear that month wasn’t good, Baby B.

The month you passed and all. But to think that I would be writing about that girl, you, and looking up what happened on the very day you left? If I had been so studious.

Colleges don’t take my type of writing kindly. Which is weird with what I’m writing now. Everything? Notes to you, Braxton… A B Paper Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

WillLeave a comment

Wife, girlfriend? I wanted Braxton to have a stepmom at some point. But he has a few “hot honorary aunts.” But what will become of them? What will become of America after she has been made into a… After this violation. I’m afraid “It’ll B Over Soon.”


Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I still feel that? I love you, our children, my firstborn, Ma, Braxton’s aunts.

Virgil Vivi… And surprisingly, I can keep going. My businesses… Hell! My existence is love.

I didn’t just say that out loud? Speaking of things, I never thought I would speak. Trump will be the next president. Still, that’s according to the snippets I’ve gotten. I’ve turned on the TV once today. Wednesday, November 6, 2024. And I turned it right back off. I’ve tried to avoid Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter except for “The Bare Necessities.” And YouTube is a no-go. I swear the words, “Trump Wins.” I’ve been sick to my stomach all day. And as I told Inspector Echo, it is reminiscent of the day I lost Braxton. Sickening.

I can’t help but draw a parallel between my Braxton’s passing and Trump’s victory. It’s a comparison that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s like comparing my deepest sorrow to something so distasteful, like my kinks and fetishes.

My beautiful wife, in these times of uncertainty, I find myself longing for your presence, your touch, your understanding. What can a man do in such times? Stand, Speak, Save. But most importantly, love. Somehow

Somehow… Just Survive Somehow, like The Walking Dead. That’s how I feel right now, my love. I’m sapped of everything. So what have I been doing since? Everything is 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and the list goes on, baby doll.

Funny, I call you that. When Braxton passed away… Oh, finally, some tears for Braxton.

Anyway, when he took his trip to The Rainbow Bridge, the world kept turning, love. There was still everything for everyone, but I was alone. And since 4:30 this morning…

Nothingness. I am a man.

A man with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I better use our money to get us out of the country. Yeah! Every penny is precious now. Every democratic politico. And every perversion… My desire for you, the young man I was in 2021, and for Yabbos, my love.

Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. Again, just to name a few things I’ve been researching today. And why baby doll…? Tony Montana was elegant in saying:

“This is paradise, I’m tellin’ ya. This town like a great big py just waiting to get f*d.” (Tony Montana)

That’s how I feel about America this second. And I don’t like it. I really don’t. Nope, not one little bit. The woman’s bored; I’m bored, or worse… A video when I pity the woman. America, my love. We’ll need each other to survive this… Violation. It’ll B Over Soon

“She’s the girl that guys marry, and I’m the girl that guys f***!” (Kill Theory)

1381 Days Without B III, Day 822 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will