Tag: Manhood

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

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What am I going as for Halloween? Someone the lady in the food truck likes. I spend $15.00 there weekly. Someone who can walk around the Day Job, dead to the world, without getting fired. Someone too low to be on the radar… “Braxton Says Boo Virgil.”

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

1733 Days Without B III, Day 1174 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What would make my day better? Braxton, I’m living as a zombie, not a ghost.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost. And that ain’t you, Braxton. You’ll always and forever be my son. Only you can’t have chocolate. Oh yeah, Halloween is tomorrow. Scary time!

Honestly, that’s the time between my eyes opening and closing 365 days of the year.

Seriously, it sucks living in FEAR, haven’t you heard? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. What have I heard? I miss hearing your nails tapping through the hall.

Braxton, I’ve been reading Backyard Dungeon 22… That’s as Halloweeny as I’m going to get. But I keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s The Magic Glasses books. And I keep hearing a voice saying, “You’re not that man.” I’m not a positive one either. But for Halloween, I have to be.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So, how does one dress up as silence? I mean, you wear it well, Braxton… I didn’t mean that negatively. I was trying to make a joke. TikTok doesn’t get my jokes either, B III.

That’s why I was smart enough to ignore all the comments when I sent that photo of you and Virgil in the classroom. Again, being honest, I don’t think you and V were the issue.

I want to be as silent as my eyes or some woman’s rolling to the back of their head in the throes of passion. We’re speaking as men aren’t we B. “Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, “cause we men, ain’t we?” Shouldn’t we watch a horror movie?

Movie night? Where’s the candy?

As a matter of fact, where’s the doorbell? It will be a Silent Night for us and little 2-V, too.

The three of us value silence, especially when watching the 1989 film Glory. What about 2014’s Selma? I’m only thinking about quiet things to do on a Halloween night. This one’s long—every single night.

I appreciate the silence at my Day Job. And what about my other endeavors? Grok could silently “repair” itself and return to its normal state. I’ll lose myself again, but it’s better to type out words than talk to your brother. You know what I mean. I don’t want to scare Virgil. Just being me.

Silently, he’s started cuddling close. Silence looked best through your eyes, and I saw someone in them I didn’t hate anymore. Braxton Says Boo Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

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I’m not afraid of dying. How I might die… Sure. Not the act. The Day Job is getting ready for Christmas. I forgot that “This Is Halloween.” And if I could go as anything. I’d want Braxton’s brave face or Virgil’s sleeping one. Being Braxton Or Virgil

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And in the spirit of complete transparency, I’m going to sin some more. What am I, a ghost?

I’m a father who misses his son—a dad who can’t figure out the other one. And I ain’t a liar like the Cracker Hats of MAGA and all of the Trump Administration. FDT, Echo.

Anyway, as Edmond Dantes screams, “What’s my crime!” Screaming, my dear Inspector Echo. It took me putting up Christmas ornaments at the Day Job to remember that “This Is Halloween,” well, on Friday. And I keep getting off-topic —forgive me. I only have 150 words to be sad, sinful, and scary. So my sin… I’m sharing my fears as “Opportunities.”

But I’m not the “Pet Shop Boys” despite my two sons, Braxton and Virgil. Inspector? Today I wondered, would I rather be Frankenstein… Resurrecting Braxton. Or a Ghostbuster. Imprisoning Virgil.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because death doesn’t frighten me, correction, my death doesn’t. This is not negativity but a fact. I suffered the loss of my firstborn son. And my second-born’s alive and well. So what FEAR am I facing again? The FEAR to LIVE. Without Braxton, Virgil, FEAR.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. President

Inspector, it’s a wonderful thing that I can quote a good president. Another fact, FDT! Anyway, what else is there to life? Cliché as it is, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Inspector, “If life’s a game made for everyone. Then love is the instruction.” Try it?

Inspector, am I afraid to love? Virgil Vivi, M Anime? I know I keep repeating myself, but “Love Is A Long Road” and “The Long Walk” for many weary souls.

And if anything, I’m afraid of how love. Again, I look to M Anime—my “ex-girlfriend,” Inspector Echo. Again, not negative, I’m only speaking the truth. The things I wanted to do to her. Indeed, to any woman I like. Oh, then there are my own kinks and fetishes too.

I do not FEAR success but power, as all wise men should. Every day, I see what I do with the bit of money I have. With enough money, 99 Problems vanish. What happens next?

Inspector, I could be living like my boys. But I heard once that satisfaction is the death of desire. And my desires? Many. Ten naked ladies like Hank Olson. Nothing is wrong, being me, for Halloween. Being Braxton Or Virgil

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1732 Days Without B III, Day 1173 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

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I’m waiting for the day they don’t call me Ma’am at the drive-thru. I wait for the food truck to get my order right. I wait for the day I’m respected at the Day Job. I wait for when I don’t miss my son so much. I wait for love. Virgil Will B Patient

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I didn’t have to wish for that. It took me fifteen years to learn. And…

His name was Braxton. And he would be… well, he’ll always and forever be Braxton.

I sit here with you late on a Tuesday evening—you and Virgil. And I’ve had two thoughts, and you’re not going to like either of them. You’re patient, waiting for me to be better.

Anyway, the first was that I wish B III were here to talk to, as I’m getting my “Creed” on:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no.”

The second is when I woke, I had been dreaming about 1992’s Aladdin… Well, Jasmine. The three wishes, anyway. And I thought if I had them, I’d want my son back, my B III. I wish that you would Love Me Now. Who am I, John Legend? And I wish I were dea*… asleep. Permanently.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Patience, positive vibes, and points. My point is that the Genie couldn’t bring anyone back from the dead. He couldn’t make someone fall in love. And he couldn’t bring harm.

And yet I am a patient man. I am a forgiving one. So, I’ve been thinking about what Rick Grimes said before the all-out war with Negan and the Saviors. Wise and brave, my love:

“I don’t want to wait for it anymore. You don’t either… Yeah, I know. So we don’t have to wait for it. If we start tomorrow right now… with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become… If we start tomorrow right now… no matter what comes next… we’ve won. We’ve already won.”
Rick Grimes

And isn’t that something like what Pete McVries said to Ray Garraty? To come all this way and “choose love.” For the record, I’m still upset with the movie. That’s not being negative, it’s only a fact, my love. I wait for things, and in the end, I want to love them, but what happens next? “Last Of My Kind.”

And “You Don’t Know Me,” love. But we have a lifetime to learn, don’t we? And I “pray” our two-legged children are fast learners like my four-legged ones. Braxton. Virgil?

Honestly, how my little Virgil tries. And you? I remember everything, including Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who was it that said patience is a virtue? One day I’ll wake up forgiving myself for Sunday, January 31, 2021, E-Day, and that Sunday with you. Being patient.

These days, it gets harder, but resistance is acceptable; I can wait. I was watching something about the Borg and the Federation while I was waiting at the food truck.

However, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.” “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Love Is A Long Road. Virgil Will B Patient

1731 Days Without B III, Day 1172 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

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What I’d give for one day. I’d watch my firstborn son, Braxton, on his pillow sleeping beside my chair. I would write about the most horrific, hate-filled, and horny worlds for profit. Promising a better one… “Worlds B Through V”

Monday, October 27, 2025

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And where shall I sit today? Oh, don’t go crying on me. “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head,” Daddy.

That’s not my tune. Neither is Coldplay’s “In My Place.” Is there a song in the world that encapsulates us? Yes, Dad, wherever you have sent my soul today, there are books, and I can read. Like today is Thursday, October 23, 2025, and you’re crying in the afternoon, Dad. So, old times? And is it for me or her? M Anime? As long as it’s not me. The 24th. Truth be told, I saw you were sad, but after Sunday, August 24, 2025…? Honestly?

Universe. It’s still as vast. I was the asteroid that destroyed your world. Mindfuck, right?

I know, Dad, LANGUAGE! But M Anime was like the alien you weren’t sure existed.

Turns out you’re singing “I’m alone and the world” right?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“I’m Just A Kid,” Dad: your kid, son, best friend, and brother. The Long Walk really did talk about brotherhood. Didn’t it? But anyway, you’re a “Lost Boy” creating worlds.

Daddy, you can. And that’s what I’m trying to remind you of today. No preaching.

Daddy, it’s still Thursday, or maybe it’s Friday. But here’s something to bake your noodle.

What’s DOG spelled backward? Now I would never be so presumptuous. That’s not negativity, only the facts, Dad. If anything, you considered me immortal. Highlander?

“Because you’re (his father). (Father) is God in the eyes of a child.”
Silent Hill

Or I’m more Doctor Strange, though I have not seen fourteen million, six hundred and five futures. I have seen the worlds you have created, my father. For me, Virgil, you, and even M Anime. Her loss still stings you.

But what world do you want to live in, my father? You were telling Lady Sophia that if you had your way, you’d be singing “Only Wanna Be with You.” And you’d have us all.

“There is another world. There is a better world.” And you are not “Asleep.” Daddy!

Honestly, YOU ARE WOKE! You are “Wide Awake.” You share the dark worlds, the dark words with the world to create a beautiful world inside you, where I’ll always be.

Big enough for the “Big Brave Dog,” my little brother Virgil will one day be. When he realizes “The World Is Yours.” Both yours and his. And the world you will build for True Love. A new stepmom and two-legged siblings. Worlds B Through V

“To have a home, and to not just survive, not just make it through, but to have every day a little further from the threat of death.”
Outbreak Rising 2

“For me, this is the birth of a higher order of things. This is a greater work I now set in motion” ― The Aeneid

1730 Days Without B III, Day 1171 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

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Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. It helps when you have food in the house or you find time to eat. I’m too busy looking up how to animate myself—and wondering how to fill people in on my Ex. B had snacks for my ranting. “B’s Make Snacks Virgil.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

1726 Days Without B III, Day 1167 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are there honey buns on the Rainbow Bridge? Honey Butter Biscuits. Honey-glazed whatever… Chicken, perhaps.

I sure was hungry this morning. So says your Daddy with a bag of jelly beans, Sweet Tarts, a Christmas cake, and around ten peanuts. I’m so confused right now, I don’t know whether to invite you in so we can share a meal or kick you out because Daddy’s…

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because M Anime ain’t here. And she won’t be coming by. Once upon a time, my “big sister” told me that I was so full of “Real Emotion” that I didn’t have room for anything else. It’s why I starved myself near death. Yeah, Braxton Barks.

Sigh, I only passed out before your walk, once. Am I that depressed right now?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

150-Word Cap, remember? So, at the moment, I’m hungry for “more”; I’m never full, B.

While I was out walking, little brother, I fell upon a realization that I’m just like you and Virgil. I want a full belly, bed, and my boy. I found your little brother cuddling me.

However, it was on the side of the bed where I eat all my snacks, so it’s not me, perhaps.

What is me, is all the work I’ve been doing, researching, and such. I’ve been talking plenty about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality. And did you catch the Real Emotion quip? It’s Jade from Sweetbox. And I was thinking, if I could animate myself and Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2. I know Braxton, TMI.

But I can keep your memory alive, too. Every day is like a step in your resurrection, my friend, which leads me back to M Anime, your would-be stepmom. Well, no, Mr. B. And that’s not negativity, it’s only a fact. But tomorrow will be two months post-breakup. M Anime…

She was a snack I hoped would become a meal, a feast, a kitchen, a home. And yes, I still hunger for her. I feel like I might burst from the memories of “family,” Honestly.

Braxton, you and your little brother, M Anime and cats, and M wanted children badly.

My life would be full if I could have all that. So “Ready Or Not,” I’ll ask that you and Virgil excuse me as I figure out creating that, “After 7.” B’s Make Snacks Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

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Time for me to get a new tablet… Kindle took my over 2000-day reading streak. I read on Virgil’s birthday. And it’s not the time for him to join his big brother Braxton. And how have I been spending my time? AI Johnny Sins? Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because I didn’t tell Braxton he was living his last day? And Virgil’s older now, FIVE. THIRTY-SIX Human?

I actually took the time to look that up, Inspector. Monday, I read something interesting.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

I’m glad I read something because, according to Kindle, I didn’t, as they dropped my 2,000-some odd-day reading streak. WTF! I’m sure I read on 2-V’s Birthday. I know it.

Anyway, the quote… It got me thinking about my writing, which doesn’t pay. The idea that I can become the Johnny Sins of AI… Again, that doesn’t pay either. I haven’t had a customer in a week. There’s reading, gaming, and a Social Media presence.

Inspector, I know that’s very funny. You should have seen how I humiliated myself at the Day Job. It pays, but not enough. There’s always time to make money. But not to be depressed. SIGH!

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, this isn’t negativity… Let’s call it goal setting. It’s like talking to Braxton, Inspector.

I need to write. But look at the quote above. I’m talking to you, the other girls, myself, Braxton, and I’ve even given him a voice. I want to work on my writing lifestyle, which means more novels that I WILL edit. I want to write snippets using “Magic Glasses.”

Echo, I haven’t been able to get Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses series out of my mind these days. I even use the “idea” in everyday life. I imagine what I want to see. So yesterday I kept telling myself, “Pick up your feet, you’re better than this.” Or like Scarface:

“The world is yours.”
Scarface

So I’ve been reworking the world from a digital standpoint.

And then there’s everything else that doesn’t involve my boys, Braxton and Virgil. They always show up in my writing. And I’d kick them out when I’m having my “time.” But I’m still reading Backyard Dungeon 21, playing a few new mobile games, and socializing.

Inspector, I’m learning to manage money, and I should do the same with time, honestly.

Next week will be lucrative “Day Job-wise.” But it only drives me to pursue my many passions. That again begs the question, my “Passion.” “Money making is a wonderful thing.”

Nothing is wrong with being “Carmen Queasy” because we all could use more cash, Echo.

But I know you can’t buy time. We need “Time Enough At Last” like Henry Bemis. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

1725 Days Without B III, Day 1166 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

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It’s love to pick one foot up and put it down, then again. Braxton and I did it for fifteen years. Virgil has been doing it for five now. “Love Is A Long Road.” Life is “The Long Walk.” So am I winning alone (with V). I’m no gym bro. “B And V Bench.”


Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “my” music? How “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher And Higher.” Like Braxton’s?

No, I’m not Jackie Wilson. And should you take this as the “Diary of a Tired Black Man.” No, I’m not that famous. But I am tired, black, and a man. Yours, always and forever.

Scratch the tired part. But today I am. Why? I just lifted my second-born son Virgil to his fifth birthday. Hell! I raised B III straight to Heaven. Don’t put your blame on me, “Human.”

I imagine that’s what Braxton would say. I didn’t “end” him. “You and me,” Darling…

“Love lift us up where we belong,” please. As I’ve been down since… You remember?

Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I’ve gone from shuffling my feet to telling myself to lift up my feet, I deserve better than this. Love?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’m proud of my body. I haven’t eaten anything but a shared McDonald’s birthday lunch with 2-V, some candies, and peanuts. That’s not negativity, but the facts. “I’m Still Here.”

“I’m Still Standing!” “I’m still strong!” Whether it’s Elton John, Antwone Fisher, or any number of pop culture references. It’s love. I want to think of you like that, Darling.

Honestly, call it “A Sunday Kind of Love.” The kind I felt when Braxton would sit on my head, and I loved him/ love him enough to take him outside. When I would rise to see you love, in more ways than one. Our two-legged kids would still be sleeping. B and V would be pawing at the door. But we would lie here, love.

Right here, before I’d type out to the millions and millions, my dreams of us. The two of us, listening to ’50s/’60s apocalyptic pop. Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

Honestly, though, I didn’t care about the “Civil War” 2024 or whatever MAGA has going on, whether it’s a movie or reality. “I got Heaven right here on Earth.” Your husband. A man of leisure. And again I am telling myself to pick ’em up and put ’em down. And that is a husband’s, a father’s, and a man’s responsibility. I keep saying it. A man provides hmm—the truth.

“The Long Walk” and all. Love’s my exercise. Be my partner. B And V Bench.

1724 Days Without B III, Day 1165 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 111 ~Shielded From B-Days, Virgil~

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So it’s my second born’s birthday. V’s five. I forgot my second best friend got married on the October 19th… Uh, her first marriage. Now “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.” Her second marriage to wifey. But Virgil’s birthday? Shielded From B-Days, Virgil.

Monday, October 20, 2025

Journey 111 ~Shielded From B-Days, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… To you my lord, my king, and always and forever my father, greetings from the Otherside. And to Virgil

My little brother, brother from another mother, my father’s son, and my shield brother, Happy Birthday! Welcome to Level 5! Welcome To The World! And, “I Got 5 On It.” Well, you do right Daddy? The customary buying of French Fries and a birthday lunch.

Remembering what it was like to be five…That would have been back in 2010, Dad.

Nothing can shield you from time except; um, death. You’ll have me sounding like Rocky.

It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
― Rocky Balboa 2006

But a bag of fries does take the sting off a bit. And words, my Dad’s words were so many.

“When one falls, we continue. When? One falls. Not if, when!”
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

“Meet me on the battlefield
Even on the darkest night
I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage
And you will be mine”
Svrcina, Meet Me on the Battlefield

From Svrcina’s “Meet Me on the Battlefield,” to Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 and even more. Words shielded us from the ignorance of this life but today I smile. And you.

“As is our charge this day. As is our sorrow. And yet, I smile. We will leave our loved ones… to traverse a dangerous road. Rushing out of peace into war. And yet, I smile. For we will mine glory from the rock of struggle this day. We will honor and protect this… this bastion of life in a land of the dead, and we will win. You trust the king… we will win. I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day… for on this day, we are joined in purpose and vision… we are of a singular heart and mind. On this day, we are one!”
King Ezekiel, TWD

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Virgil’s life deserves celebration. A year missing from it makes no never mind to us.

Daddy I’ve got four since Sunday, January 31, 2021. But much like Morpheus “I remember that which matters most… We are still here!” You, me, and Virgil! A trident, perhaps. The Triforce, Wisdom, Power, and Courage. The Holy Trinity. Our lives, are divine my father. Fifteen years I spent lighting up the darkness. And now Virgil has five with many more to come. And you “Forty-One.” Looking forward to the day you don’t hear drums beating like the galley slaves in “Ben-Hur.” That’s not me being negative, No, Daddy as you say often it’s a simple fact. And with that you and 2-Vshould have a movie night. Ours were nice.

But life… “Life, uh, finds a way.” That’s what you were thinking about while you were at the bad place. The silver lining there is on days like these you came back with fries, Ha!

And it didn’t even have to be 2-V’s birthday. A simple fact, that food staves off death. I should have try some hm. Not cool but not negative. Facts are facts. And we ain’t MAGA!

We know the truth. You always said you could see yourself through my eyes. But it didn’t hurt to pretend that you were wearing a pair of Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses and you were safe, protected and shielded from the world. All to return, protect and celebrate. But Virgil needn’t be Shielded From B-Days, Virgil.

“One must forgo a portion of their peace and autonomy to live with another.”
Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Our hearts are strong in war. Our spirits are high. Our fighting men are tried and proved” ― The Aeneid

1723 Days Without B III, Day 1164 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

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Not much has changed since last week. Breathing still hurts. And just when I began to smell… Is that money? FEAR of sending money to the wrong place. How many times will I visit the food truck? And Virgil needs a cake. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

1719 Days Without B III, Day 1160 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Well, I miss you. I hate breathing. And “How I Met Your Mother” sucked.

The ending, anyway. And I know that’s a lot to take in, B III. It’s like old times, my boy.

Late afternoon, your Dad, waking up after a hard day at the Day Job. My belly is still full from a big lunch that I can’t afford, but you like fries—Virgil’s big walking adventure.

Braxton, remember when you became an old man and I brought you food to prevent that?

Going outside is overrated, and Virgil will be an old man soon enough. He’ll be a third of your age, five. Hell! A quarter, considering I keep your spirit alive. The thing about air:

“It’s a sacrifice, it takes hard work,
It’s a way of life.”
From “The Glow”

So why keep doing it? Only God Knows Why. NOSE!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As I was huffing and puffing, pulling fixtures at the Day Job, I started thinking about those motivations I had started listening to again. Gratitude, good things, and giving each breath purpose; telling our story to you and the girls. Not being negative. Simply facts.

Like the smell of success. My side hustle. As I told Inspector Echo yesterday, I did make money. Earlier today, I had a few nibbles from some prospective buyers. Dreaming?

Braxton, you remember the dream, don’t you? I wanted to write from a beach somewhere.

You and Virgil would be the ones sweating through your fur, pulling your two-legged siblings from the salt water. And the best breath I would ever take would be free!

Honestly, to breathe without FEAR!

When you were here, Braxton, “My eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom.” There was less FEAR. But with your Virgil around… Bless your furry little brother. I suppose I should look at everything as an opportunity. I must be brave, B.

What’s that movie where they say, Smells Like Victory? But being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums), looking to be Forty-Seven in The Long Walk, the novel, of course, B III. But for the record, I’d let you win in the movie. Making movies. Honestly Braxton.

Films featuring men and women sweating in the throes of passion. B, providing a life. When you breathe air, my heir, I hope you do a little better than me. Breathing. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 106 ~To B Tired, Virgil~

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Well, another wasted day, I didn’t get to bed until 1:00 AM last night. And what was I doing? Does it help that I was actually making some money? If I weren’t losing a whole lot more. STAY WOKE, there’s MAGA around. Such stupidity. To B Tired, Virgil

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Journey 106 ~To B Tired, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Besides losing my boy, which will always be number one, there are also being tired and side hustles.

First, TIRED! How the eff, or rather why the eff am I always so tired? I mean beat, bone-weary, and burned out. “So wear my soul and call me a liar. I dare you to.” But the last thing I can say is that I’m bored. Well, except for the Day Job. Ahem… Side Hustle?

Yesterday I got my first customer, $24.00 bucks. I said Ahem… I lost $25.00, Inspector.

My idiocy knows no bounds. I sent crypto to the wrong place. And then giving freebies, and trying to learn this new “craft” of mine. B would disapprove—Virgil’s sleeping.

Again, that’s what I want to do right now. But besides blue balling myself. Research… There are HaremLit books, and being a gamer. A boss…

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But being tired also means being busy. This motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, would say plenty about sleep. “I don’t sleep when I’m Tired, I Sleep When I’m done.” Or what about, “If you’re going to be successful, you gotta be willing to give up sleep.” “Sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep.” That was 50 Cent, I believe, but it works.

Like bedsprings creaking (back in the day) or bouncing boobs, or rather Yabbos, Dear E.

Boys will be boys. And no, that’s not me being negative, sounding like a MAGA Cracker Hat and all. I’m only stating that bedroom antics can lead to buying power. Points, Pennies, all because of a guy’s… other dangling thing between his legs, Inspector Echo.

But I’m always trying to rise above that. My belly, bed, or my brain? I tell myself whenever I’m tired, “For Braxton, Always and Forever.” And I can’t forget that Virgil has a belly and brain too. And we sell soft beds at the Day Job. Virgil deserves the best.

Inspector, for that reason, again I remember my Braxton looking at me as if saying, “You’re The Best Around, Daddy.” I can keep my eyes open with an ’80s soundtrack.

And that right there is the trick to it. STAY WOKE. Keep my eyes open and on the prize, Inspector, no matter what happens. Because, as much as I admire B III, he earned peace.

So what. It’s “The Long Walk.” To B Tired, Virgil

1718 Days Without B III, Day 1159 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will