Tag: Manhood

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

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If my boy then knew what his Dad knows now. But I don’t blame B. Especially this week. There is always so much noise. The Day Job, the snoring of Braxton’s little doggy bro. And is that the damn phone? And now Braxton’s silence. B’s Last Bark Virgil.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? How many times have you cried today? Three? A coincidence? Does it matter?

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Adam Ewing, David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas

Not enough ocean to drown in. Not enough to sail to come and “Find Me.” Nowhere near enough to cleanse everything. New beginning? M Anime, Virgil. Man In The Mirror?

Daddy. My father. You haven’t heard the last of me. My name? Braxton BARKS Bradford.

It’s all you can hear right now, but what am I saying? “Every Breath You Take.” Every beat of your heart. But you know what I really miss? Well, I am my father’s son. Always.

The noise, the silence, and everything in between those two ears of yours. Daddy’s brain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I hope you don’t mind me saying this. Actually, it’s Forrest Gump anyway. Dear Daddy:

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump

Again, I am my father’s son, and you’re better than this. Don’t think you are…

Know. No? Not this week anyway. Couldn’t you pick the day I ate your French Toast or Waffles? And the day after, when you protected your pancakes. And I got my nickname. “I love you like pancakes,” you would say, “but you have to calm down.” How about the day I jumped into that rolling thing of yours? I wasn’t the only one who hated that. And I can understand why you were always so angry when you came back from “Wherever You Will Go.” But I didn’t know what I was supposed to bark at. So there was silence.

Dad, I would watch you sleep and make sure whatever was chasing you stayed away.

Only I don’t know what that is now, or rather…

She walked, ran, or got effed five months down the road. I know, Dad, Language! You’ve told me I would have liked her, but I’m not sure. Virgil is trying his best. But M Anime, my potential stepmom, you called her. That’s when you began to feel love once more.

That bitch! Again, I’m minding my barks. But she got you “Smokin Out The Window.” And you wouldn’t call her such-and-such. But another reason I’m mad is this. What happens when you get hurt, Dad? You told my Favorite Girl that you can’t imagine any worse pain than yours truly. And so I need to bark loud enough to overcome the boohoo’s, the bawling, and be your boy, always. Woof, woof! B’s Last Bark Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Arma Virumque Cano”
(I sing of arms and the man.)
(Book I, opening line) Aeneid

1821 Days Without B III, Day 1262 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

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“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you, and it hurts like hell.” I’ve been singing that a lot: my firstborn, my potential missus. Then I’m reading about a guy with three women. All brides? Where’s my woman? B would’ve known. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

1817 Days Without B III, Day 1258 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Well, I’m sitting next to Virgil. Not your Favorite Girl or M Anime.

But your brother, who was asleep last night, gratefully as I read “Pledged To Him 8: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Eight)” by Neil Bimbeau. Or he was faking it, waiting for me to go to bed. I woke up at 3:45 AM with all the lights on…

Anyway, this is more a conversation for Lady Sophia, but “we men, ain’t we? Glory! Anyway, so I’m reading, and you know your Dad. I’m like an effing Oracle! I have a nose for books. And each one tells me exactly what I need to hear. A man who lost his wife gains a harem and marries a group of his girls. Three to be precise. Two blondes, but an Asian girl is number one.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So M Anime? She was my number one. But she was from Puerto Rico. We’ll get to that B III.

Only I was thinking that the closest I ever had to a harem was your Favorite Girl, M Anime, and Cherry. I’ll never forget how you chose your Favorite Girl. You hated her for months and then sometime in April… Not to be confused with “Sometimes in April.” That movie was effed up and a true story. Braxton, your Favorite Girl, lay on the loveseat and covered her face. I let you go. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

“I got a snow bunny and a black girl, too. You pay the right price. and they’ll both do you.”

Kidding! But you sniff her all over and next thing you know, you’re besties. Traitor.

Again, kidding! That’s for next week. But you love her.

You would be going on twenty-one this year. I wish you were here, son. I’d have to place you on M Anime, and you could have sniffed her out. I would have kicked her out…

Yeah, right! Yabbos blind Your Daddy. Some nice melons, and who cares what you think? All I know is I “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you,” well, M Anime this week. You are my son. Your Favorite Girl and I were “Just Friends. But M Anime? “I’ll Be His Misses.”

Braxton, she ain’t singing that to me. She’s not my Anya Jenkins, Julia, or Melina.

Honestly, your Dad is Forty-One and maidenless. And I’ll never be, buy three engagement rings rich. But you remain. And Virgil. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

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Last week I said I wanted to put my head under the covers. Wouldn’t that be WHITE of me? Scared and wearing bedsheets over my face… Excuse me, their effing MAGA hats. But no, I want to be seen, crying over my son and my girl. B Needs Blankets, Virgil

Wednesday, January 21, 2021

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What? Have I not given Braxton and M Anime the wall-to-wall mourning and misery they deserve? Blanket coverage?

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Inigo, The Princess Bride

Thank you, Inigo Montoya, but I have bigger sins. Three if I’m specific. Although SIGH…

“Sigh No More.” Well, not until E-Day anyway. But the fact that I’ve had Forty-One E-Days (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums) is a sin in and of itself. The fact that I’m breathing, that I don’t want to be, that “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” “Sometimes, yet I still pretend.” That brings me back to the big two, Inspector. “Love and Happiness?”

Without my son, Braxton. Without my girl, M Anime. Why aren’t we talking about them?

I swear at the Day Job, I wanted to scream out, “My son is dead!” I could play his songs…

Next week? Am I trying to get fired? Beats Frozen.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And while we’re on the subject of Elsa and Anna… Day One? Eww. Relax, Inspector, it wasn’t those sisters that got me off this afternoon. But it wasn’t M Anime either. And that’s my point right there. What am I planning for this week and Saturday? As if grieving is supposed to be a surprise. I’ve mourned Braxton for going on five years. But the woman I was going to marry, potentially, and who was going to have my children.

Inspector, this is new. So I thought I would dance to the two songs I dedicate to her. Those are: “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas and “King of Wishful Thinking” by Go West. Hmm.

Sorry, I’m not Rick Grimes. I lost my family, Inspector.

“You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.”
Spoken by Delmar O’Donnell

And thank you as well, Delmar O’Donnell. Or should I speak as Prince Hector did, with all the honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country? Braxton was more than a prince. He was my little god. And I failed him as I fail his little brother Virgil.

Woman? My woman? She’s married or is about to be married to someone else in Georgia, Georgia… So close and yet so far. But I’ve been thinking of that Ludacris tune for weeks, Inspector. Earworm? Like “I’m only a man in a silly red sheet.” I’m not her Superman, E.

It’s not easy to be me, Inspector. “I’m only a man in a funny red sheet. My country? Eff MAGA! But B Needs Blankets, Virgil

1816 Days Without B III, Day 1257 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

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She’s not here, and I doubt she’ll ever be. And how many years were M Anime and I friends to suddenly go, now you’re just “Somebody That I Used To Know.” I knew B practically his whole life. But no wife or kids here. Me, Virgil… “Just B Here Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 20, 2026

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why play “Things You Can Say About Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend” Wife?

“Be Here Now.” Isn’t that from “A Dog’s Purpose”? That reminds me… WTF! I should read yet another book about dog loss next week. Currently, I’m reading another HaremLit book, but we’ll get to that. Like Sunday, January 31, 2021, Saturday, August 13, 2022, Forty-One Effing E-Days. But “You And Me?” I swear I didn’t want to cry today. Effing Lifehouse! Effing Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who would I be if that day went differently?

A “Lonely Soul” sitting in the middle of a “Mad World.” Me and the mutt? Do I mean Braxton’s little brother, Virgil? Tarnished and maidenless, a “geek” playing Elden Ring. Not even a man? Land? No, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. And some make me out to be androgynous…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No! You, my love, know I’m all man. But if you weren’t here… Hell, I’d love to be Johnny Sins. I’d fornicate till my cock turns blue. Effing my way across the seven seas. Forever?

If I didn’t have you, my love, I’d end up like Kaoru from Slaves to Passion/Hana Dorei. I would lose myself to… Beautiful but boring. Did I mention I’m reading “Pledged To Him 8” by Neil Bimbeau? What woman would let me have such a life? Cuck, Harem, and more.

How many women do I know who would allow a harem? Well, there’s you, mistress… Have we gotten there yet? Is that something we could both be here for? Because what caused Sunday, August 24, 2025. I still don’t know.

Children? I want to be a father, you want to be a mother, and what comes next? B and V?

They get to be big brothers. Chihuahuas and all. Like Braxton, “You Are Not Here.”

Honestly? That’s what I tell myself every morning, and then I’m proven wrong. My sin?

“Too sexy for my love. Love’s going to leave me.” Yeah, that’s funny. If anything, I haven’t been here for all the days that I’ve mentioned. I haven’t left the exam table where Braxton died. I haven’t risen from the loveseat the first day I got Virgil, and gasped, “What have I done?” I haven’t left the bed since “the breakup.” Or the place where I was born. But I’m expected. Just B Here Virgil

1815 Days Without B III, Day 1256 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

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I Have A Dream. Most days, I’m less Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and more Bing from Fifteen Million Merits. My last dream involved yabbos and fake ones at that. M Anime’s aren’t. And B loved his Favorite Girl’s pair. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

Monday, January 19, 2026

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? Yes, I dared to ask. Whatever. Don’t. Silence. But “I Have A Dream.”

Or I will when you wrap your arms around me and fall asleep like the last week we were together. But that’s not now… No, next week. SIGH, five years. But this week, my father.

It will be five months since another dream… Died? No, she is very much alive, last you knew. Learning about the Birds and the Bees. Dicks and Vaginas? Yes, I know, Dad, that is like so cringe. You had to give me “The Talk” when my Favorite Girl visited us.

However, your Favorite Girl. You left mine alone, and it’s not Cherry. But M Anime. Daddy, I’m not here to say, I told you so, or I informed you thusly. The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Or a box of chicken. I don’t want to talk about the Glow Box directly. The Last of Us, The Big Bang Theory, and you’re still on about “The Running Man.” And what about Virgil? You compared yourself and my little brother to “The Long Walk—cold, Long, and Sad.

But I Have A Dream today! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? If you could bring someone back, my father, it would be me. And you are the best man I know. But neither of our dreams would be for the best of everyone. I’m sure you don’t mind me barking, FDT, eff MAGA, all of the Cracker Hats! But what’s my dream? I heard yours yesterday, and while I like girls after touching their yabbos…

Love! You told me that if life is a game for everyone, love is not the prize, it is this…

Instructions. I mastered that the first time we walked together. Ray and Pete, Dad and Me. Not The Long Walk but a walk. Soon it will be you and V. You and my siblings with two legs. Some woman who isn’t M. And ending this week, Dear Heaven, Dear Father.

I have a dream that when you finish your books about her and when my books are everywhere, you’ll realize you “Can’t Me Now.” And you don’t want M anymore.

Honestly, Daddy, I Have A Dream you will rise, writing, women, and wealth. And all with my little brother. A family. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

“Let B III stay, that’s all.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and…

“Sleep, the gentlest of the gods, crept down and poured forgetfulness upon his eyes.”
Aeneid

1814 Days Without B III, Day 1255 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

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I figured I’d leave my boy before he left me. He’d see 20, and I would finally do something about my bipolar depression. Hell, I had that way before I even met him. And I got Virgil from “behind bars.” Yet I SEEK my own punishment… A CAPITAL B Virgil

Thursday, January 15, 2026

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

1810 Days Without B III, Day 1251 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? First and foremost, I’m feeling glad that I made it back to you.

“I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” But honestly, my face hurts (I fell asleep in my glasses), and my fingers are frozen. And if I’m going to get effed, hopefully it will be before Tuesday, SIGH. Eww! And I didn’t mean that kind of effed. Door or back scratching, no.

“Time of the Season?” Braxton, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same.” But in January, sh*t!

While I repeat the day you passed away. It seems I want to repeat the same emotions I had over the course of the month. And the primary emotion included the phrase “Please put your hands behind your back, sir.” Then you died, and I actually deserved some jail time. And I know I’m going to Hell. Ninth Circle bound.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So today at the Day Job was practice. And I think I get what Milton/Nicolas Cage was saying in the movie “Drive Angry.” Did we ever watch that B III? Your Dad and his films.

Burning is nothing? There was the RAGE I felt that whole week. There was the ruttin’ for way wrong things. Full Transparency? But most of all, I remember the shame, B, I had failed you.

I was burning through pages of books that brought the two of us nothing, all so I could work at the place that killed you. My Day Job? The only people next to me. Seriously.

Didn’t I mention rutting? What was I looking at, lusting for, just leering galore, and I thought I’m in trouble.

And that leads me to M Anime. I told her I’ve never met “A Girl Like You” before. And I’ve never met a fur buddy like you, Braxton. I met your little brother, Virgil, in August of 2022. So should I meet a facsimile of M Anime around March 2027? I don’t think so, B.

“I’ll Never Fall in Love Again.” Actually, while I was freezing in that truck today, I believe I was singing “Teen Idle,” you know, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” But I have 2-V, B.

And the first time I got arrested, you weren’t born. Terrible or terrorist as a father, a boyfried/husband, a writer, and a man in “Capital Letters,” I did it “My Way,” A CAPITAL B Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

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Secret Agent Man, when really all I want to do is put my head under the covers and hide for… eternity? But Braxton beat me to it nearly five years ago. On the 31st. So what has me wanting to hide today? Trump, trouble, and twins. “Codename B, 002 V.”

Wednesday, January 14, 2026

Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But I have vomited… Yet. I’ve been very, very STUPID. I’ve seen a woman’s well, several women’s vagains.

Now that was awesome. And I wish I could say “Everything Is Awesome.” But Inspector?

I haven’t vomited yet. And I’m feeling quite sick. It’s of my own doing, of course. Hell, saying “of course” makes me sicker. I mentioned I finished reading Braxton’s novel…

And that makes me feel STUPID? My Dear Inspector Echo, you can take your pick.

Another day at the Day Job, perhaps. Only today did I realize MAGA Cracker Hats surround me. And yet I’m still the Village Idiot when it comes to those people. You can take what I did while sitting here a few minutes ago. That didn’t help me at all, Echo. Getting “Down With The Sickness?” And this is yet one more day Braxton is gone.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

January is going to be one mother effing month, Inspector. If I survive today, tomorrow…

Hell, if I get to the 18th… Braxton knows what MAGA will do on Monday. And I’ll never mention M Anime again after the 24th. The 5-month breakup Anniversary, Inspector.

Honestly, how do I fix my mouth to lie like that? Or my fingers to type out such and such.

“Anxiety, keep on trying me
I feel it quietly, tryna silence me.”
Anxiety ‧ Doechii

“It’s not over
Because a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you’re the only one.”
Daughtry

Anxiety is killing me right now, but ok, let’s say I make it to the 25th, what comes next, hmm? The end of the month? The day I committed the greatest crime. My Braxton died.

And not a day goes by that I wish I hadn’t joined him. You want a song, my Dear Echo.

He Lives In You. Always.

And that is what makes me ashamed of the things I do. Braxton was/is the Pete McVries to my Ray Garraty. And for once, I am talking about the movie over the book. Braxton reminds me a bit of my “big sister.” She told me, “You can’t build a strip club next to a school or something to that effect. Quite true. But honestly, I’m like “The Running Man.”

Inspector, I’m not escaping, I can’t get away. There “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.”

Inspector? Who I am and who I want to be is the distance between a woman’s Yabbos. Seriously, on a good day, it’s from her mouth, to her yabbos, to her… I should stop. Echo. Eww. Codename B, 002 V

1809 Days Without B III, Day 1250 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 196 ~Virgil, There’ll B Times~

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Tick tock. TikTok. When I wake up, it’s usually to the song “Easy Street. My breathing is anything but. If anyone’s reading, you and they know. I wonder whether she knows? Busy with the new hubby? B’s on the Rainbow Bridge. “Virgil, There’ll B Times”

Tuesday, January 13, 2026

Journey 196 ~Virgil, There’ll B Times~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “The World Will Know!” The funny papers. A sex tape? New York Times Bestseller.

When I write one. Eventually. Can Erotica be considered? Did I ask that honestly, love?

If anything, I rather it be for one of B III’s books. 2-V’s? We’re way too early for that one. And what about my life story? I have to start living it—The Shawshank Redemption.

“Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.”
The Shawshank Redemption

Seriously, every day I tell myself I’m going to start, but I find myself right back here, minus my Braxton. And if Virgil isn’t here… Well, things I will do. That I will create, eww, but since he is here and I have you, my beautiful wife. Again, I find myself, like Cody Rhodes, asking, So, what do you want to talk about?” I have the time. Well, no, but I bought a “clock factory.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I don’t think that’s what they mean by buying time. But there’s never time. Darling…

Why do you think I want to stay so busy? My hands look, love, and lose. And today I was looking at next week and the week after… “You know that’s a game that I hate to lose.” Love? And so I’ve been thinking more and more about what it would be like to “Drift Away.” Not this Saturday, but the next is the 24th, and after the 31st. It’s as if Sunday is trying to escape my wrath. And I’m telling myself that after the 24th (5th Month Anniversary), I’ll never speak on that subject again. And the 31st? I’m going to be crying about Braxton forever, my love.

It’s going to be a hard two weeks. “Pictures/Pussy On My Phone,” thank you, Wheeler Walker Jr. And my dear Braxton… That son of mine is bigger than my heart and other things… No wonder my heart was broken when he passed—effing time, beloved.

Memories. And no, I’m not a fan of CATS. I do mean the musical; the fur buddies are alright by me. And one day, I’ll have time, unless you’ve seen how MAGA has been acting lately. AI or Trump is going to kill us all. So again I look to my special drawer, my armory.

I want to protect my family—you, my woman, our wonderful children, and B’s work. I’m still alive. “Times Like These.” Virgil, There’ll B Times

1808 Days Without B III, Day 1249 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

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The Rainbow Connection? How about the theme for Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road? There are no “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” at the Day Job. THEY do everything to make that place worse. The place that ki… took my son. But, “That’ll B Hue, Virgil”

Monday, January 12, 2026

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I know better than to ask, “Did you have a good day. Another Day? No Day But Today?

Alive? That’s the last thing you want to be, my father. It’s like talking to MAGA. You ask whether Biden won. THEY say Biden was president. Someone asks, “Are you okay? Are you alive?” What do you answer? You’d rather be with me. And am I not alive? I’m here, right now, as always, Dad. I’m sitting at the corner of your bed on a sad Monday afternoon, guarding the door. In case you were wondering why my little brother Virgil is sleeping dead center, ha-ha. He knows his place. But where are you, Dad? Really. One foot in the grave, your eyes on the rainbow, and your ass to the fire. Language, I know, I know. But your tears, Dad. As clear as then…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The day. The only day that matters to you… Well, not really? Not this year anyway. If anything, I have M Anime to take a bit of the heat off—bad choice of barks. But you know, if you were going through Hell, I would be right there with you. And I am Daddy? Yes.

The day I finally saw all the colors of the rainbow is the day you saw black, white, and gray. The “Colors of the Wind.” I saw you through the evils of MAGA the first time around, and now you have Virgil. And you’ll always have me. Well, not yesterday. Augmenting reality? That video? The first time I got an actual funeral. Didn’t like it.

Daddy, sure, The Rainbow Bridge.

But it’s you, today. Some days, all you see is red. There is far too much orange in the world, you tell me. You wish you weren’t so yellow. You feel a lot of green and worry about it when it comes to you and Virgil. You’re constantly blue. But not enough to fly away. And for that, I’m grateful. And Indigo, Violet. Unless you’re thinking about the game on the glow box “Indigo Prophecy,” or either of the Violets that would have you kicking me out of the room for a while. No, our royal colors are tan, beige, and black. Dad, that brings me to my point today. Whatever color… We truly see each other, always and forever. See! That’ll B Hue, Virgil

“As fast as Braxton could run, he couldn’t outrun time; as high as he could jump, it only brought him closer to Heaven. B was on the way up.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and Silent Loss

“Do you not see what great a weight of darkness the blind night of the body sheds on minds?”
Aeneid

1807 Days Without B III, Day 1248 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

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“Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard,” as Nada said in “They Live.” And speaking of glasses, I need to have an eye exam this month. Head examinations cost a whole lot more. “B Patient. Will V”

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

1803 Days Without B III, Day 1244 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nine times out of ten, you knew my answer. But with my refusal to answer…

Well, as I tell everyone… I’m here. Hungry, horny, and playing the hater, but here.

Breathing, as much as I wish I wasn’t… Oops, did I say that out loud? It’s not like this, Succubus Lord, and I can be responsible for your… End. Again? I still haven’t requested time off at the end of the month. And secondly, I’ve said a lot worse things this new year. Just eww.

So, the first week. How’d I like it? I wish I knew how yours in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever was week one. “Where’d You Go,” as the song goes. I swear, your book.

Honestly, it brought me to tears… With how bad it is. But your brother was patient as I read it.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

As for myself? Ok, as the song goes, I feel angry, I feel helpless, I feel violent, I feel alone.

My “One” Creed, as it were. I’m a sick Old Man obsessed with a certain brunette at the moment. Oh, like you haven’t heard that one before. And all because I’m trying to forget about a very married Puerto Rican girl. M Anime. And I’m still unsure she’s married, B. But after the 24th, she’ll only be “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Seriously? Whatever!

It’s been 1244 Days, and I still don’t know your little brother. Virgil’s being patient.

Honestly, he is afraid. And you know I have my “Anxiety.” They sound effing similar.

Braxton, they are one and the same “Across The Universe.”

My universe? Outside of the Magic Glasses? That’s what I’m calling AI. Reality’s a lot.

Do you remember how you and I were supposed to be apocalypse survivor buddies, B?

I’m sure you can see what MAGA is doing. I’ve been saying forever that I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell for betraying you, B. But with all the ICE heading in that direction…

I could move up to the Eighth, which I believe is Fraud. That took my Magic Helmet and Magic Glasses… In other words, ChatGPT. I’m of the mind that if AI will kill rather than save your human Daddy, Braxton. How long will I play patient on this deathbed, Little B. Patiently waiting to follow you… B Patient. Will V.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad