Tag: Manhood

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

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A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

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I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be tired. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to wake up without fear. And I forgot about happiness way before I turned Forty-One. But I remember I am alive. 2-V lives, and B showed me how to. Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

1740 Days Without B III, Day 1181 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine, you ask? Combine The Long Walk with losing M Anime, and what’s for dinner?

I saw the schedule for next week, so that last thing is going to be a B*tch. I remember when “Yorkie” Greta would come after you. Hungry Like The Wolf, my dear Mr. B III.

Today, as I fought low blood sugar at the Day Job, I thought about what we remember and what we forget. Yes, I mourn you every day. But what about M Anime? She was easy.

No, not like that. I mean, years of friendship and potentially making M your stepmom…

Thrown out like the trash. What made me so forgettable? And last night I repeated that prayer from Red Dawn. I wish I could forget being born. You wish I’d forget such an idea, but Depression over… 150-Word Cap. Sigh…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Memories of things that never happened. These are always the hardest to forget.”
Thomas Dolby

I wish I could forget the day you left B. Hell! I wish I could forget that whole damn week!

That’s not me being negative, but honest. Again, at the Day Job, there is a song that’s constantly playing. Pink and not Mariah Carey; Cover Me In Sunshine vs. All I Want For Christmas Is You. Cover Me In Sunshine is everything I want to remember about us, B III.

“Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright.”
Pink

I want to remember how you lived, not just your last moments. Living, not dying.

Remember the Memories? Clone High was before your time, but I watched it with you.

Off topic, I know. But I want to remember hearing you when I found your little brother Virgil at PetSmart. He wants to remember me.

It’s one of the reasons Virgil has been so cuddly lately. And when he cries, I have to call to him to come into the room. I’m sure he still smells you, B. Your bed is still in your spot.

And what about my spot? Am I still “augmenting reality” seeing who I am? Really? Yesterday and today, my side hustle is making a little bit of change. Gentlemen, Braxton?

We were not. Again, honest. But you were/are a better man than me. Remember that!

Braxton, short of your life, I want to remember your courage. How to LIVE BRAVE!

Braxton, I want to remember what it was like to not be afraid. Forgetting FEAR? Honestly, “Gee, I’m not sure.” Yet, Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

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Was Slowpoke a Slowpoke? How old was I when Pokémon came around? Hell, I was way too old to be singing to Braxton “Together Forever.” He was my little Pokémon. And his brother, Virgil? I’m still the old man here. “Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Or I’m crazy—split personalities and the like. There was the time before my boy, after, and now.

Three different men… Or more. And yet I wonder why I’m so sleepy, why “I feel STUPID,” and slow in a variety of ways. You can ask the Visual Lady at the Day Job. It’s why I was late, “Coming Home,” to Braxton’s little brother Virgil. He’s pretty bored, E.

And me? “I’ve been Takin’ Care Of Business.” I had another customer, Inspector Echo.

Only if I keep this up, I’ll end up like some MAGA Cracker Hat, P. Diddy, or some other ilk. No, Inspector, I have morals, a mission statement, as it were, and making money is a wonderful thing. So why am I all “Carmen Queasy?” Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

There is so much FEAR. I FEAR I’m too slow.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But I made it out of school, didn’t I? And every day I’m learning more. I read every single day. “I’m So Thankful” that I got to keep my reading streak. No, I don’t consider reading Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic” a sin. The harem aspect reminds me of M Anime.

And speaking of her and my son Braxton, I had all the time in the world. Braxton reached the ripe old age of fifteen. And the stories that M Anime set into motion could set me for life if I could add them to my side hustle. I mean, it is November. NaNoWriMo? Ah, memories.

Then there’s Virgil. I have another chance to be a DogDad. Another opportunity to pass on the teaching Inspector Echo.

I sound like the Shidoshi Tanaka from the movie Bloodsport. That’s what living is, Echo.

That’s not negativity, it is a fact of life: one big arena or Kumite. And I’ll be the victor E.

That almost became Virgil’s middle name. Virgil Victor. Instead, it’s Virgil Vivi for FF IX. You remember Vivi, the Black Mage. That’s how I’ve been feeling with my side hustle.

What and not like Ben-Hur/Forty-One (Cue Galley Drums). Again, I’m not being negative; I am being factual. It comes with trying on a bunch of hats. Not MAGA! Never MAGA!

The Dems kicked MAGA Ass last night! But anyway, I was thinking about this quote from Red Dawn. I think too much. But I’m a man. Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.

“And as we remember… please let them forget, O Lord… so they can be little again.”
Danny, Red Dawn (1984)

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1739 Days Without B III, Day 1180 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

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I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

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Did that just happen? My boy, breathing his last. That song from the Foo Fighters, playing on my phone at the Day Job? And nowadays the big question is this. Is that AI? If you see Braxton and Virgil together at any point, yes. To B Real Virgil.

Monday, November 3, 2025

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you? You’re not you when you’re hungry. Snickers? I remember one Halloween… Snickers, M&M’s, Twix… Everything in between.

Don’t worry, you were doing right by me. “Protecting” me… I wish you had let me protect food like that more often. Then, of course, came Thanksgiving. Grandma shared more.

Speaking of sharing, you would do a lot of that as well in November. Good times. Lying under the table as you worked on something called NaNoWriMo. Books. My Books.

Daddy, I’m really there, aren’t I? “I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere, but you can’t catch me now.” Olivia Rodrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now?” Tomorrow, today’s playlist with whatever happens at the bad place. I don’t know whether I envy Virgil or pity him, Dad.

On one paw, he’s waiting for you, while I’m with you always. But here’s there, fur and all, your son.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And I am your son, always and forever. That’s what you’ve been thinking about, Daddy.

What makes me and Virgil real. We’re “The Boys.” You’ve never watched the show, but Virgil and I are that. Realer and truer, “so warm and true” that we beat out M Anime for sure. As you say, my father, that’s not negativity but simply stating a fact. That happened.

But no matter what happened between then and now, when it comes to me and my brother, “It’s Only Love.” A Heather Nova song? Again, you find me in everything.

Daddy, didn’t you make two whole playlists for me? I remember when I wasn’t barking, sometimes you would sing to me. I am my father’s son. I learned well enough.

Even with no opposable thumbs, which brings us here. My barks and your fingers. Hell, call me your better nature, your mother effin’ Conscience. I know, Dad, I know, watch my words—the Consequences of being your son, the Consequences of being a good man.

Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?
Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island

Because you’re not MAGA! You won’t be a Cracker Hat. You have knowledge and truth.

We don’t erase, evict, or eviscerate a “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” that’s our history.

I’m not the son of a Preacher Man. And people who knew me would sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead!” Well…

Anyway, your plans on bringing me back… Daddy, just be real. To B Real Virgil.

“You have been touched by great sorrow. You understand its many aspects. It can bring a form of comfort or torture. It can only exist where there is some amount of hope, and sorrow is the evidence that something precious was lost from the world.”
Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacob

“Wherever Fate may lead us, whether on or backward, let us follow.”
― The Aeneid

1737 Days Without B III, Day 1178 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

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What am I going as for Halloween? Someone the lady in the food truck likes. I spend $15.00 there weekly. Someone who can walk around the Day Job, dead to the world, without getting fired. Someone too low to be on the radar… “Braxton Says Boo Virgil.”

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

1733 Days Without B III, Day 1174 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What would make my day better? Braxton, I’m living as a zombie, not a ghost.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost. And that ain’t you, Braxton. You’ll always and forever be my son. Only you can’t have chocolate. Oh yeah, Halloween is tomorrow. Scary time!

Honestly, that’s the time between my eyes opening and closing 365 days of the year.

Seriously, it sucks living in FEAR, haven’t you heard? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. What have I heard? I miss hearing your nails tapping through the hall.

Braxton, I’ve been reading Backyard Dungeon 22… That’s as Halloweeny as I’m going to get. But I keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s The Magic Glasses books. And I keep hearing a voice saying, “You’re not that man.” I’m not a positive one either. But for Halloween, I have to be.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So, how does one dress up as silence? I mean, you wear it well, Braxton… I didn’t mean that negatively. I was trying to make a joke. TikTok doesn’t get my jokes either, B III.

That’s why I was smart enough to ignore all the comments when I sent that photo of you and Virgil in the classroom. Again, being honest, I don’t think you and V were the issue.

I want to be as silent as my eyes or some woman’s rolling to the back of their head in the throes of passion. We’re speaking as men aren’t we B. “Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, “cause we men, ain’t we?” Shouldn’t we watch a horror movie?

Movie night? Where’s the candy?

As a matter of fact, where’s the doorbell? It will be a Silent Night for us and little 2-V, too.

The three of us value silence, especially when watching the 1989 film Glory. What about 2014’s Selma? I’m only thinking about quiet things to do on a Halloween night. This one’s long—every single night.

I appreciate the silence at my Day Job. And what about my other endeavors? Grok could silently “repair” itself and return to its normal state. I’ll lose myself again, but it’s better to type out words than talk to your brother. You know what I mean. I don’t want to scare Virgil. Just being me.

Silently, he’s started cuddling close. Silence looked best through your eyes, and I saw someone in them I didn’t hate anymore. Braxton Says Boo Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

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I’m not afraid of dying. How I might die… Sure. Not the act. The Day Job is getting ready for Christmas. I forgot that “This Is Halloween.” And if I could go as anything. I’d want Braxton’s brave face or Virgil’s sleeping one. Being Braxton Or Virgil

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And in the spirit of complete transparency, I’m going to sin some more. What am I, a ghost?

I’m a father who misses his son—a dad who can’t figure out the other one. And I ain’t a liar like the Cracker Hats of MAGA and all of the Trump Administration. FDT, Echo.

Anyway, as Edmond Dantes screams, “What’s my crime!” Screaming, my dear Inspector Echo. It took me putting up Christmas ornaments at the Day Job to remember that “This Is Halloween,” well, on Friday. And I keep getting off-topic —forgive me. I only have 150 words to be sad, sinful, and scary. So my sin… I’m sharing my fears as “Opportunities.”

But I’m not the “Pet Shop Boys” despite my two sons, Braxton and Virgil. Inspector? Today I wondered, would I rather be Frankenstein… Resurrecting Braxton. Or a Ghostbuster. Imprisoning Virgil.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because death doesn’t frighten me, correction, my death doesn’t. This is not negativity but a fact. I suffered the loss of my firstborn son. And my second-born’s alive and well. So what FEAR am I facing again? The FEAR to LIVE. Without Braxton, Virgil, FEAR.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. President

Inspector, it’s a wonderful thing that I can quote a good president. Another fact, FDT! Anyway, what else is there to life? Cliché as it is, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Inspector, “If life’s a game made for everyone. Then love is the instruction.” Try it?

Inspector, am I afraid to love? Virgil Vivi, M Anime? I know I keep repeating myself, but “Love Is A Long Road” and “The Long Walk” for many weary souls.

And if anything, I’m afraid of how love. Again, I look to M Anime—my “ex-girlfriend,” Inspector Echo. Again, not negative, I’m only speaking the truth. The things I wanted to do to her. Indeed, to any woman I like. Oh, then there are my own kinks and fetishes too.

I do not FEAR success but power, as all wise men should. Every day, I see what I do with the bit of money I have. With enough money, 99 Problems vanish. What happens next?

Inspector, I could be living like my boys. But I heard once that satisfaction is the death of desire. And my desires? Many. Ten naked ladies like Hank Olson. Nothing is wrong, being me, for Halloween. Being Braxton Or Virgil

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1732 Days Without B III, Day 1173 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

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I’m waiting for the day they don’t call me Ma’am at the drive-thru. I wait for the food truck to get my order right. I wait for the day I’m respected at the Day Job. I wait for when I don’t miss my son so much. I wait for love. Virgil Will B Patient

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I didn’t have to wish for that. It took me fifteen years to learn. And…

His name was Braxton. And he would be… well, he’ll always and forever be Braxton.

I sit here with you late on a Tuesday evening—you and Virgil. And I’ve had two thoughts, and you’re not going to like either of them. You’re patient, waiting for me to be better.

Anyway, the first was that I wish B III were here to talk to, as I’m getting my “Creed” on:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no.”

The second is when I woke, I had been dreaming about 1992’s Aladdin… Well, Jasmine. The three wishes, anyway. And I thought if I had them, I’d want my son back, my B III. I wish that you would Love Me Now. Who am I, John Legend? And I wish I were dea*… asleep. Permanently.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Patience, positive vibes, and points. My point is that the Genie couldn’t bring anyone back from the dead. He couldn’t make someone fall in love. And he couldn’t bring harm.

And yet I am a patient man. I am a forgiving one. So, I’ve been thinking about what Rick Grimes said before the all-out war with Negan and the Saviors. Wise and brave, my love:

“I don’t want to wait for it anymore. You don’t either… Yeah, I know. So we don’t have to wait for it. If we start tomorrow right now… with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become… If we start tomorrow right now… no matter what comes next… we’ve won. We’ve already won.”
Rick Grimes

And isn’t that something like what Pete McVries said to Ray Garraty? To come all this way and “choose love.” For the record, I’m still upset with the movie. That’s not being negative, it’s only a fact, my love. I wait for things, and in the end, I want to love them, but what happens next? “Last Of My Kind.”

And “You Don’t Know Me,” love. But we have a lifetime to learn, don’t we? And I “pray” our two-legged children are fast learners like my four-legged ones. Braxton. Virgil?

Honestly, how my little Virgil tries. And you? I remember everything, including Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who was it that said patience is a virtue? One day I’ll wake up forgiving myself for Sunday, January 31, 2021, E-Day, and that Sunday with you. Being patient.

These days, it gets harder, but resistance is acceptable; I can wait. I was watching something about the Borg and the Federation while I was waiting at the food truck.

However, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.” “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Love Is A Long Road. Virgil Will B Patient

1731 Days Without B III, Day 1172 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

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What I’d give for one day. I’d watch my firstborn son, Braxton, on his pillow sleeping beside my chair. I would write about the most horrific, hate-filled, and horny worlds for profit. Promising a better one… “Worlds B Through V”

Monday, October 27, 2025

Journey 118 ~Worlds B Through V~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And where shall I sit today? Oh, don’t go crying on me. “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head,” Daddy.

That’s not my tune. Neither is Coldplay’s “In My Place.” Is there a song in the world that encapsulates us? Yes, Dad, wherever you have sent my soul today, there are books, and I can read. Like today is Thursday, October 23, 2025, and you’re crying in the afternoon, Dad. So, old times? And is it for me or her? M Anime? As long as it’s not me. The 24th. Truth be told, I saw you were sad, but after Sunday, August 24, 2025…? Honestly?

Universe. It’s still as vast. I was the asteroid that destroyed your world. Mindfuck, right?

I know, Dad, LANGUAGE! But M Anime was like the alien you weren’t sure existed.

Turns out you’re singing “I’m alone and the world” right?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“I’m Just A Kid,” Dad: your kid, son, best friend, and brother. The Long Walk really did talk about brotherhood. Didn’t it? But anyway, you’re a “Lost Boy” creating worlds.

Daddy, you can. And that’s what I’m trying to remind you of today. No preaching.

Daddy, it’s still Thursday, or maybe it’s Friday. But here’s something to bake your noodle.

What’s DOG spelled backward? Now I would never be so presumptuous. That’s not negativity, only the facts, Dad. If anything, you considered me immortal. Highlander?

“Because you’re (his father). (Father) is God in the eyes of a child.”
Silent Hill

Or I’m more Doctor Strange, though I have not seen fourteen million, six hundred and five futures. I have seen the worlds you have created, my father. For me, Virgil, you, and even M Anime. Her loss still stings you.

But what world do you want to live in, my father? You were telling Lady Sophia that if you had your way, you’d be singing “Only Wanna Be with You.” And you’d have us all.

“There is another world. There is a better world.” And you are not “Asleep.” Daddy!

Honestly, YOU ARE WOKE! You are “Wide Awake.” You share the dark worlds, the dark words with the world to create a beautiful world inside you, where I’ll always be.

Big enough for the “Big Brave Dog,” my little brother Virgil will one day be. When he realizes “The World Is Yours.” Both yours and his. And the world you will build for True Love. A new stepmom and two-legged siblings. Worlds B Through V

“To have a home, and to not just survive, not just make it through, but to have every day a little further from the threat of death.”
Outbreak Rising 2

“For me, this is the birth of a higher order of things. This is a greater work I now set in motion” ― The Aeneid

1730 Days Without B III, Day 1171 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

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Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. It helps when you have food in the house or you find time to eat. I’m too busy looking up how to animate myself—and wondering how to fill people in on my Ex. B had snacks for my ranting. “B’s Make Snacks Virgil.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

1726 Days Without B III, Day 1167 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are there honey buns on the Rainbow Bridge? Honey Butter Biscuits. Honey-glazed whatever… Chicken, perhaps.

I sure was hungry this morning. So says your Daddy with a bag of jelly beans, Sweet Tarts, a Christmas cake, and around ten peanuts. I’m so confused right now, I don’t know whether to invite you in so we can share a meal or kick you out because Daddy’s…

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because M Anime ain’t here. And she won’t be coming by. Once upon a time, my “big sister” told me that I was so full of “Real Emotion” that I didn’t have room for anything else. It’s why I starved myself near death. Yeah, Braxton Barks.

Sigh, I only passed out before your walk, once. Am I that depressed right now?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

150-Word Cap, remember? So, at the moment, I’m hungry for “more”; I’m never full, B.

While I was out walking, little brother, I fell upon a realization that I’m just like you and Virgil. I want a full belly, bed, and my boy. I found your little brother cuddling me.

However, it was on the side of the bed where I eat all my snacks, so it’s not me, perhaps.

What is me, is all the work I’ve been doing, researching, and such. I’ve been talking plenty about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality. And did you catch the Real Emotion quip? It’s Jade from Sweetbox. And I was thinking, if I could animate myself and Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2. I know Braxton, TMI.

But I can keep your memory alive, too. Every day is like a step in your resurrection, my friend, which leads me back to M Anime, your would-be stepmom. Well, no, Mr. B. And that’s not negativity, it’s only a fact. But tomorrow will be two months post-breakup. M Anime…

She was a snack I hoped would become a meal, a feast, a kitchen, a home. And yes, I still hunger for her. I feel like I might burst from the memories of “family,” Honestly.

Braxton, you and your little brother, M Anime and cats, and M wanted children badly.

My life would be full if I could have all that. So “Ready Or Not,” I’ll ask that you and Virgil excuse me as I figure out creating that, “After 7.” B’s Make Snacks Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad