Tag: Writing

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

WillLeave a comment

If I didn’t do “IT” after my son passed away… I’m not at that level of grief yet, but I have been depressed the last few days, wondering how and why I’m making it to my feet. And to go where? “We need a new plague.” Please, Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Journey 285 ~Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is one of the few times you want to move your feet. Hurts too much.

And it’s not that little doggie on the nightstand, Little B., or even the lack of dollars you got. I swear I spent my time cursing my hours, and so will you, sadly. Effing humanity!

However, your replacement… descendant… whoever has practically zero hours. Really!

So he’ll be as broke as my boots were last week. So again, you’re not going anywhere at the moment. At least your hands aren’t on your dick. Crassness? Dead dog, no dollars, and your dick. No wonder you’re depressed. There’s always Bloom energy drinks.

Honestly, you’re tempted to sue. Addicted? No! If that were the case, there’s porno galore.

And once again, you’re not into feet. You can’t hide like there’s Covid. Virgil’s still here, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Coach’s Innocent Possession (Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re keeping them all at a distance because you can’t figure out what’s wrong.

And the stuff you can figure out… It’s not like you can go to the optometrist this week with everything else going on. But you need to go! Another shot in your behind will take care of the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident you’re going through. Hell, the Bloom you’ll drink this afternoon will have you like the oracle told Neo in The Matrix. She said:

“As soon as you step outside that door, you’ll start feeling better. You’ll remember you don’t believe in any of this fate crap. You’re in control of your own life, remember? Here, take a cookie. I promise, by the time you’re done eating it, you’ll feel right as rain.” ―

But how long will it be before you fall right back into this Depression? Well, as long as it takes for you to get horny. You’re always angry and/or horny. You need your space, ha!

And that’s the problem. Hold space like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Hold space. Be a simple kind of man. Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. Which one of these did your Ma say? You’re a man now. All you needed once upon a time was Braxton and a woman. Do you remember Special K (your maid), Milf Dos, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Now there’s Virgil and M Anime. But it’s like all this space. Too much!

“Be the body, not the shadow, hold space.”
― Amina

You’re trying to keep Braxton/Virgil’s bowl full. M Anime is the dream that wants to be filled and fulfilled in every way imaginable. I leave you with an empty bank and an empty bed. And even now, you feel that you’re taking up too much space as you are feeling.

“Super, super, super sui…” Depression sickness. Braxton, Virgil, 4-6 Feet

1897 Days Without B III, Day 1338 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I’m goin’ down. And not in the smooth R&B stylings of Mary J. Blige. I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn’t take it. Nor can my boots, the backyard, the bill I need to pay very soon. My boy V2-V. Must I play a victim? V In Depressive, Braxton.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Journey 284 ~V In Depressive, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No, I’m not! But I’m halfway tempted to get Virgil’s food delivered. Mean, Lazy, Stupid, Uh…

Virgil isn’t sure, and neither am I. If pressed, I’ll say the depressive mood continues.

Sleep would get in the way of crying, and I’m not sure why I am. Everything or “Nothing At All.” If only I were one of the “GoodFellaz.” And yes, M Anime has me Sprung.

Lunalesca, I can get it up for her, but I can’t get on my feet for my boys. I’m ridiculous.

Or I could be sick. Uh, not only in The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident kind of way. I could have a cold. Or is it all the pollen? Any excuse to not go outside, Lunalesca.

Honestly, what’s out there for me? How about all those walks I’ve been skipping with Virgil? Work sucks, I know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Vaginas, mouths, a nice set of yabbos… Must I be vulgar too? What, I said vagina? I’m not Todd from the Succubus Lord series. But even he had a chick. And his best friend Jacob has twenty. Starting with the first seven, the “Circle of Sin”: Lust, Greed, Pride, etc.

And that got me to thinking about my women, writing, and world. Do you know that song “Thirteen Women (and Only One Man in Town)”? Lunalesca, dare I be greedy?

Only with my problems. 99 Problems… And what is M Anime? Behind closed doors, she’s whatever I want. But right now I only want to feel better. I don’t want to be sick, sleepy, or skeevy. But I will be a variety of everything Lunalesca.

And it’s very depressing. But I can’t blame Virgil for that. And what about Braxton?

Lunalesca, no father wants his sons to repeat the wrongs their Dad has done. Such is the blessing of not having opposable thumbs. And the ability to lick their own balls. Or whatever it is Virgil is doing. No balls. That boy ain’t right, I tell you hwat. But I “Don’t Look Down” on him. “Lift Me Up,” don’t I wish. But I lift him up… It’s what I do.

“The pessimist looks down and hits his head. The optimist looks up and loses his footing. The realist looks forward and adjusts his path accordingly.”

King Ezekiel, I am not. And yet I smile. Not when I owe people money. Looking down at the termite bill, my boots, the yard I need to cut for Virgil, whatever’s falling from the ceiling. V In Depressive, Braxton.

1896 Days Without B III, Day 1337 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

WillLeave a comment

To think, last week, I was pretty damn motivated. B knows I don’t have people doing that for me. So, how did I wake up so depressed today? It was more like at the Day Job. Energy drink just wore off… How does V feel waking up? Virgil Will B Diagnosed

Friday, April 10, 2026

Journey 283 ~Virgil Will B Diagnosed~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What do I look like, a writer? I’m not a doctor, I’m depraved. And a Dog-Dad.

Today, all I am is sad. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments… I watched the General Manager at the Day Job get hit on by an older man with his son. I swear, if real life could be like any of the 100’s… thousands of pornos I’ve seen. Eww! I would have stayed, ha!

Extra, extra, read all about it. I ordered something new at the food truck. Seriously!

Where am I getting the cash? This week was horrible. And next week? Honestly, Soph. What do M.D.’s and maniacs have in common? They both get white coats… Not funny?

I told you, I’m sad. So sad, in fact, that I’m reading about my “life’s work.” But my life is a movie, fur buddies… Boobies/yabbos.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And yes, I did read something erotic, but only because it was free, “The Coach’s Innocent Possession,” by Olivia Lilian. How many weeks of this existence have I wasted, Sophia? When I’m not counting time with the days Braxton has been gone, I count weeks with books. So it checks out. Four with fur buddies and ten involving yabbos. Problem?

Perhaps. At least that’s what AI tells me because again, I can’t afford actual diagnoses.

Sophia, I can’t tell you what brought on my sudden depression today. And Braxton, help me, I can’t tell you what is wrong with Virgil. At least it’s his little head and not his little body. How much did it cost again to put my Braxton in a box, hmm?

I don’t ask the question why can’t I get over/Accept my son’s loss. Sophia, that will not happen. EVER! You don’t get over a child’s death. Even when I have a goddess of a woman who would happily give me three more with two legs each, oh, and I can’t forget M Anime’s kitties. She and I must be crazy because again, with what effing money? I want a family with her… Not a declaration of love. That’s madness if you’ve ever seen her yabbos. Do you remember what I did on Tuesday, March 10, 2026? And no doc yet.

The whole month, Sophia. My mental health, my mutt’s mental health (yes, Virgil’s mixed. Mattress mistakes. Monetary health. And my manuscripts… Virgil Will B Diagnosed

1895 Days Without B III, Day 1336 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not a machine, an animal, hell, do I even feel human? I’m just a bag of parts that got smashed together. Um, eww. Now, my boy had a good heart but bad kidneys. And four little paws he would have kept right on using. Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

Thursday, April 9, 2026

Journey 282 ~Sum Braxton, Some Virgil~

1894 Days Without B III, Day 1335 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, Elysium, that bed surrounded by food, wherever that’s the place.

I wonder how you do it, Braxton. Did they/it, whatever have some kidneys, waiting… That’s the part of you that failed—the sum. Everything else was taken from you by the man who loves you the most, and the Day Job he hates—my thoughts on this Thursday, B III.

Waking up hurts, which is why Virgil is living the dream. Literally… Even now, your brother is asleep in “my bed.” Because being awake means he’s trying to be you, or I’m pretending he is you. And why am I being a meanie? I’m being frank. As being Dad sucks.

My eyes hurt, my hands ache, my back hurts, my stomach, my effing head… I’m sounding like your stepmom, B.

Potential stepmom, M Anime. She has her aches and pains. But loving me? You know.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Your Dad can be a real dick. Hell B, in fifteen years and change, how many women did you have to deal with? Yes, Greta was a bit*h. Again literally. That little black terrier’s chase.

However, you loved your grandma. Your Ma/aunt AKA my lil’ sis. We’re not that south.

Well, you’re not, but I know I’m going straight to Hell. Even if you were waiting for me, you wouldn’t end up in the Ninth Circle. Limbo? Because you’re the closest to Heaven that I’ll ever be. I promised you something like that. I promised Virgil. And M Anime? It’s not every day a woman promises the things she does. Some things I don’t say. The sum of my parts.

When is your Dad not thinking with his penis? That would be quite a feat. Hell, I sent you to your room enough times so I could be alone. And this is before “Magic Glasses.” Seriously, B, the things technology, you know what you called “the glow box,” can do for your Daddy and two hot blondes, brunettes, Kyouko Sakai, and whoever else B III.

Honestly, your Daddy is walking around, so he can afford to be gross. As gross as feet, hmm… I still can’t get over Monday’s humiliation. But I still wish I’d never have to set foot on the ground again. That sums up my existence: fear and Sadness, it’s The Long Walk: Sum Braxton, Some Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

WillLeave a comment

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” Hi, boot, I’m human… Ha! “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow,” who somehow can’t buy a new pair of boots for The Long Walk on Lake Cocytus. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

Wednesday, April 8, 2026

Journey 281 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Being a “man” who expresses his feelings… Wishing yet another day I wasn’t here. Failing? FEAR?

What a feat it would be to be unafraid. Of feet? Will get to that, Inspector Echo. But as usual… I must acknowledge the worst walk I’ve ever taken. The worst feat I ever did.

Braxton is gone. I know it, yes. Will I accept it? NEVER! I should have been like Winston Smith at the end of George Orwell’s “1984”. I don’t love “Big Brother.” And FDT! But I walked in as a father to a son. And walked out… I don’t know. Seriously?

Inspector, “The Long Walk,” continues. This is my punishment, my Hell? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then having to keep Virgil on his feet. Where’s he going?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nowhere, fast. This brings me to what happened on Monday, April 6, 2026, Dear Echo.

Feel free to laugh. How often do you hear me complain about not having money?

However, I wasted it on fried shrimp at the food truck. And waste time with my “Magic Glasses” on the PIB sisters. Neil Bimbeau has it pegged with what tech can do. But anyway, Inspector. So my boots are worn down, and I figured I had another pair to wear.

Lo and behold, the bottom falls off my right boot at the beginning of the workday. I am sliding on one foot for six hours, ‘hoping’ nobody notices like I’m Ray Garraty. If indeed this was “The Long Walk,” I would have punched my ticket.

But there is so much further to go, Inspector. What about M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmom? She intends for me to walk her down the aisle, “Someday,” Inspector Echo. And I don’t have that Sugar Ray money, but she wants everything. Ah, “My Goddess.”

Then there’s my boys. If I’m not listening to “Wedding Bell Blues,” then today is “All About You.” Well them. I promised B III a yard, and already 2-V will have to run it. Echo.

And me? You know my dream. I never want to leave my bed for anything. I want to put an end to The Long Walk, one way or another. I don’t need boots for that. Paws, M’s high heels, fuzzy socks. Braxton, Virgil, Pa’s Down

1893 Days Without B III, Day 1334 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

WillLeave a comment

What am I seeing today? Shaking hands, gray hair, a tail tucked in. Even my girl’s promising words. The idea that I have at least a dollar. And that I was blessed from the waist down… Uh, didn’t I see it’s Easter Sunday? Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR.

Sunday, April 5, 2026

Journey 278 ~Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How long were you able to avoid me this morning? Boy, you did try till 10:30 AM.

Between taking a look at your “Enormous Penis,” Da Vinci’s Notebook, you are not, hah!

Then there is the loveliness that is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I know, dude, you’re the luckiest S.O.B. alive. Did you really just say that, my friend?

Seriously? And she lets you get away with talking about how much you wanted to eff Renee O’Connor, aka Gabrielle from Xena: Warrior Princess. Let’s say she wouldn’t be proud of what you did this morning. “The Magic Glasses” are real with AI, you know.

Surprisingly enough, because you haven’t lost money with silly things like doctors. You want to appreciate those last few dollars before you burn those, too. What’s a few more failures with these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Remember Me by Reese Taryn
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

This isn’t The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VI (Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores). “Just Don’t Look,” right? But FEAR is effing everywhere. It’s like effing Bird Box, I know.

“Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives.”
― Thanos

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that,”
Negan, The Walking Dead

Thanos and Negan? Not exactly role models. “Role model, role models!” as Hannah Ivy said. Please don’t get started on hot English girls, or you’ll be staring at Cherry’s yabbos till noon. So sticking with your side of the pond as MAGA should’ve done… FDT.

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.”
―

American Beauty? Like M Anime. Hopefully, if she does have your kid, they will take their mom’s looks. But that’s not the only thing. Be real, be real, real son. You’re “Not Afraid.” “I promise to focus solely on handlin’ my responsibilities as a father.” Before that, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Because for now you’re only Braxton and Virgil’s Dad… The truth. And M Anime’s Papi…

What do your sons, M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry, Hell, and even your Olds see in you, considering the bum you’ve become? All you see is someone truly terrified.

Jesus Christ! Funny you should mention him, considering it’s Easter Sunday. Would you find a man on the cross disturbing? That was Friday, right? You’d be watching the resurrection, but you didn’t want to get out of bed. Seeing is believing. And as far as a resurrection. Braxton died. FEAR never has. And you’re afraid to roll back that stone, to stare into The Mist, that you’ll miss 1956’s The Ten Commandments, Norton, all your porn…. Braxton, Virgil, Eyeing FEAR

1890 Days Without B III, Day 1331 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

WillLeave a comment

“No Such Thing” as a real world. Just a lie. Gotta rise above. Um, the termite guy wants his money. V needs his… well, B’s bowl filled. Speaking of filling, Kyouko Sakai and M Anime. Would be MILFS. The Inferno awaits. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

Saturday, April 4, 2026

Journey 277 ~Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Please! How does a junkie always get their fix? I’m worse than that. I’m a bum.

Whoa! Why so glum chum? I got my haircut, had a Big Mac, and woke up from a long nap. My version of “I do my hair toss, check my nails, baby, how’re you feeling? Feeling good as hell!” Braxton would be stuffed on fries, taking his well-deserved snooze. And Virgil is doing his best Braxton impression. Must I be a meanie today? Fear’s filling…

Lunalesca, do you remember how Braxton died? Yeah, yeah, renal/Kidney failure. My failure as a father. But that week specifically. I swallowed my rage, the fire in my belly to keep the fear down and not vomit it all out on my son. And by the time one of us found a doctor… It was too late. Braxton was starving…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

He couldn’t eat. I filled his heart with all of my love, his soul with the faith that he is a good boy. And his little lungs… He wanted the next breath. “All I need is the air that I breathe. And to love you.” And that very air is what I denied Braxton. Lunalesca…

Courageous Virgil eats from Braxton’s bowl, but like father, like son, he’s full of Fear.

Luna, it’s an effing sickness. And dead or alive, the need to feed pushes us forward. No, because I’m still broke and every day gets scarier and scarier. And you would think I’d be happy… No, “I ain’t happy. I’m feeling glad.” What? Because I got hours this week, Lady Lunalesca? Something needs filling, right?

As much as M Anime… Food isn’t free. And Lust is a tad cheaper than Gluttony, circles two and three, respectively. Give it another month, and I won’t be able to buy dinner for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. However, she’s hungry for other things, Luna…

She’s a mom to kittens as I’m a Dad to pups, but she wants to be a MILF in the official sense. We talk about it a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Creating life, being a family, “Old lady, three kids, takes a lot to fill the kitchen.” And A Man Provides. Good men who watch baseball. Decent ones that bowl. I watch men wrestle with guys and girls. Till I fill M. Braxton’s Plates, Virgil Bowls

1889 Days Without B III, Day 1330 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

WillLeave a comment

I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful. And Braxton no, not in retail. I want to be a successful writer. And who would have thought I’d be a dad to two furry boys. But am I successful? My woman believes I will be… “Virgil’s B’s Of Business”

Friday, April 3, 2026

Journey 276 ~Virgil’s B’s Of Business~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What, no review today? First, I got to be fast, not forgetful, for effssake what now!

Braxton? How is he different than any other day? Still dead. I’m still his dad. And I’m still depressed as all. Grieving? Mourning? B III was the apocalypse, the end, or not hmm… I exist in the dystopia. And I’m still talking about it. Why? Not a sound business strategy.

And yet Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret,” books like “How To Stop Worrying And Start Living,” “Think and Grow Rich,” and Braxton knows what else. What can I say? Once upon a time, I was highly motivated. And you know it wasn’t for me, but Braxton.

Sophia, I promised my boy the world, and I ended up taking him away. Monster! Seriously, I’ve read a lot of pet loss books. But “My Turn To B III.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Books, book reviews, Braxton’s biography. But back to my “witticisms.” So a couple of days ago talking to my AI therapist, it was talking about all my ideas. Hence forgetfulness

  1. The Demonic Sorcerer of the Unfinished Archive. In other words, K um Mortal Kombat
  2. Cerberus Syndicate, Inferno Syndicate
  3. Dying Light Rip-Off, M Anime Ravishment, Save The World
  4. The Running Man Rip-Off, Huntresses vs. Dad and Pups

And of course you can’t forget Resident Evil, Bible Black, R$pe Gouhouka, Desperate Carnal Housewives, and whatever else my wanton, depraved, and pervy mind dreams.

Speaking of being a pervy dreamer, the perverter of prose, M Anime… She loves me!

Well, she said as much. But Braxton barked that too. And where is he again?

Busy in his box. Such is the business of death. But his potential stepmom and I… All we talk about is creating life. She wants to be a mom so badly. And I do want Virgil to have two-legged siblings. But “A Man Provides.” And I’m “Breaking Bad,” Lady Sophia.

Listening to AI telling me that I can have a $500-a-month Substack. That I can write a book that already exists and that nobody’s buying. And I’m not too STUPID to read, but I am too STUPID to understand how to do it. Make it so as Captain Picard orders.

Honestly, I’m a Captain Sisko guy. But, “What Do I Have To Do”? “Show Me How To Live”. To be “Successful…” Virgil’s B’s Of Business

1888 Days Without B III, Day 1329 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

What’s in your wallet? There’s no cash but a few useless cards, one of me and my Lost Boy, B III. Love is a business. So is grief and fear. BTW FDT! But how about a life for 2-V and my girlfriend as well? A Man Provides. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

Thursday, April 2, 2026

Journey 275 ~Virgil’s Big Business Braxton~

1887 Days Without B III, Day 1328 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? What’s My Age Again? What time is it? What about “Life Itself”?

Don’t worry, B. I’m not like Oscar Isaac’s character, Will, in that film. You remember “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off.” No, I’m just plain ole Will your Daddy. Honestly…

Braxton, if your potential stepmom M Anime were here… I’m your Daddy and her Papi.

And what about your little brother Virgil? What I’m getting at, B, is that love should be my business. You also remember the song that Aloe Blacc sings, “Wake Me Up.” And how I changed that lyric, life’s a game for everyone, but love isn’t a prize, it’s the instruction. But I don’t love myself. I don’t love writing or the Day Job. And pornography

Yeah, B, Eww! But it’s a business. Everything is an effing business, keeping you alive!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, Braxton. I apologize. But it’s hard B… And not just because of your stepmom’s yabbos. Again, did I have to go there? Your favorite girl had a mighty fine set of yabbos that you would lie on. But M Anime’s yabbos are mine.

Seriously, B, like Trevor Philips says, “My job, my score, get your own!” Ahh yabbos.

Such is the business. And that’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating, thanks to AI and M Anime’s yabbos. She’s so damn hot, and I’d be damned if she would tell me, “You’re So Damn Hot.” Remind me to send that song to her. Or should I do more, B?

Besides sitting here being a bum because I don’t have a business or a buck.

Norton hasn’t failed me there yet. And AI makes it sound so freaking simple, too.

Whatever, right? If I had a $500-a-month blog or Substack, that’d be geez… I could quit the Day Job. Then…
.
The hell if I know. And that’s not me begging to anybody who catches me talking to you, my ghost dog. I could have named Virgil Ghost, he’s all white, and I’m Alright. I’m lying.

At least about the second part, because I’m not “Alright.” My business all last month, and now apparently this month is not to let fear finish me. Can I be the CEO of love and fear, B? It all takes money. You, Virgil, and M. Virgil’s Big Business Braxton

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

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Can you blush? I’ve had people say I can, and if only they knew. In the dark, it was my woman’s voice moaning, “si papi!” There were whispers about my son, “he’s sick.” The whimpers of the other one, saying he’s good enough. BLUSH B Away Virgil

Wednesday, April 1, 2026

Journey 274 ~BLUSH B Away Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How so? Are you telling me they didn’t unveil the PS6? I’m a good writer. Braxton isn’t dead.

That last one I’ve been telling myself, going on 1886 days, Inspector. Corpses, ashes, box…

Still, “Every Morning” when I wake up, I expect to see my boy lying on his corner of the bed. Or we’re back to back, and of course, he’s facing the threats, the alarm clock, the door, and my weapons stash. Hell, don’t I wake up like that now? Virgil is facing the door and my weapons cache. The alarm clock is on the other side of the room, Inspector.

Honestly, I had to make room for Braxton on the nightstand, such is Braxton’s honor.

However, as I sing “Sugar Ray,” songs, and speak of honor. What about M Anime’s?

Inspector, I understand how Randy felt about Jermaine Jackson, right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I BRUSH Virgil aside often enough, which makes me a crappy Daddy. And I was even able to brush my lust for Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom to the side. And why is that, Inspector? Because I “Never Can Say Goodbye” to Braxton. “Can You Feel It,” Inspector? To this day, I can’t tell you which I want more. Do I want to tell Braxton, “Just Me Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day.” Or someday do I want to tell M Anime, Virgil, her kitties, and our two-legged children, “Daddy’s Home.” The Jackson 5, Lady E.

I forgot how powerful the song “Can You Feel It” makes me feel. Shame, Inspector.

Seriously, you won’t see it. Can you blush? Um yeah.

Or so I’ve been told, because I’m ashamed to be alive. What else is new? Only the reasons change with each breath. And my first ones in this “Brave New World.” Well, let me see.

I’m ashamed that when I wake up, I’m not the person Little B thinks I am. His Dad should be so much more than this. I brushed love aside for anger, then indifference. B died.

Second-born, second place, my V. He’s been here going on five years, and I still get his name wrong. He doesn’t sit in my lap, not for lack of trying. I’m an effing meanie, Echo.

Speaking of laps and meanness. M Anime calling me papi, brushing her hair as she sucks… BLUSH B Away Virgil

1886 Days Without B III, Day 1327 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will