Tag: Remember

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

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Holding my boys’ leashes, holding my woman’s hand, holding my kids who can’t walk yet. Hell! I would settle for holding enough cash to afford a proper meal. But I’m busy holding all this FEAR because it’s not selling. Like my book ha… Aisles B, V, M.

Tuesday, September 16, 2025

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to take “The Long Walk” down the aisle to wait for you. I’m waiting.

“I had hoped we could have made it [to] the altar.” M Anime, Aug 24th

You’re waiting. Still waiting for me to stop playing Charlie Kirk. You know, saying STUPID sh*t about… How do THEY say these days, being “unalived?” I wonder if Inspector Echo thinks that a sin. Why should I care? I’m not a religious man, my love.

Once upon a time, I was an Atheist. Then I became a father for the first time. B III’s dad.

And as I contemplate the things I need to buy to save my life. My Old Man called. But I’ve been thinking about places where I feel Braxton’s soul the most. One of those places is an aisle in PetSmart, next to Virgil’s food and Banfield, where Braxton passed away.

Love, I should have joined him and not just watched.

I watched and waited and walked that aisle alone, carrying what was left of existence. And you walked down the aisle with or without your father. I’ve forgotten, maybe.

Beloved, all I know is you were coming to claim what I had left. All that I was willing to give to you freely. Is it too much? Today is Friday, September 12, 2025. Effing heavy.

Darling, I’ve been weighed down in this chair all day long except for emergencies. Ha! Again with “The Long Walk.” “He just kept picking them up and laying them down.”

Our kids, my feet, and I want to say my FEAR. No FEAR is the one thing I don’t need to shop for today. It’s free, unlike me. I can’t.

“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.”
Daniel 5:27, The Book of Daniel

Even when I sit down to watch a movie. I hated my childhood, but to be as carefree as a kid again, going to Video Express or Blockbuster. Am I showing my age, “Forty-One” ha!

“Ben-Hur,” “The Long Walk,” and, to add a movie to the list, “Exit 8.” I’m “The Lost Man.” And I look at you going down every aisle, hallway, and threshold, and I close my eyes and wonder. Are you the anomaly? Should I turn around and run away, my love?

“Give me one reason to stay here, and I’ll turn right back around.” It’s what you’re singing to me. And even if I found that reason, is it diapers, milk, and bread, or a drink? Myself? Aisles B, V, M.

1689 Days Without B III, Day 1130 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 076 ~B FUR And After~

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Four years ago, I knelt to my son Braxton, who loved me. Before August 24th, I imagined a girl going down on me. Most days, I’m trying to keep Virgil’s head above water. And I want to lie down and never rise again. Thinking about B FUR And After

Monday, September 15, 2025

Journey 076 ~B FUR And After~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… The one who watched you while you slept. Creepy. The one in your arms when “The Man Comes Around.”

That’ll be Thursday. But BEFORE that, “Why do you cry?” “We’re all gonna die.” Uh…

Why must I be all creepy this morning? I am my father’s son. From Johnny Cash to Sufjan Stevens, “Fourth Of July,” and the Commodores’ “Easy.” It isn’t Sunday morning.

Seriously, it’s Monday. That means you’re awake. “Dammit!” That’s the thought that crossed your mind first thing. And then came the water works. I know you’re not crying over Neil Bimbeau’s book. Oh yeah, that’s one of those you wouldn’t read out loud to me, Dad. So I’ll ask again, why do you cry? I wish it were all my fur flying in your eyes.

But you’re afraid. And you can’t stay in our room forever. Me protecting you, Dad.

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
― Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars

The things we forget. “He Lives In You.” No, not grandpa. While talking, Star Wars:

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”
Luke

Yes, we were a SITH household, only isn’t this what we did before battles, Daddy?

Honestly, we would listen to the words of the warriors, writers, and winners. Because that is what you are to me, Dad. Even if you don’t believe it about yourself, yes, I heard you on Sunday while you were writing. And these past few days, you’ve been “touring” the house, this ship like the Enterprise, as if it’s going down. Well, it’s not the Titanic.

“It’s something of a tradition, Guinan. A Captain touring the ship before a battle.”
“Oh, before a hopeless battle, if I remember the tradition correctly.”
“Not necessarily. Nelson toured the HMS Victory before Trafalgar.”
“Yes, but Nelson never returned from Trafalgar, did he?”
“No, but the battle was won.”
Captain Picard and Guinan, Star Trek

We’re amongst the stars, Daddy. And you fear that you’ll never reach me. And I fear you’ll arrive before I’m ready. I left before you were ready—humans and timing.

“Just go on dancing with me like this forever, and I’ll never tire. We’ll scrape our shoes on the stars and hang upside down from the moon.”
The Long Walk

Yes, Sunday has come and gone. I know how you feel about Sundays. “Bloody Sunday.”

“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me, that you also may be where I am.”
Bible

And not just because of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon. I kept you company, Dad.

Sunday, January 31, 2021, I stayed with you as long as I could. Comforting, seriously.

Daddy, I still don’t know what to say about M Anime. It’s been three weeks without her already. Would it sound any better to say that you were crying over her? “Stephani’s Sunday Symphony” has been blaring ever since you rose this morning. And Virgil?

Daddy, my baby brother needs you. Not just this morning. And yes, even after Thursday.
So be brave, Daddy. You were before. And be there for me, Virgil, yourself, and SOMEONE. B FUR And After.

“And only Lord knows when I’m coming to the crossroads.
So I don’t fear sh*t but tomorrow.”
Sucker For Pain

“Hold out, and save yourselves for kinder days.”
The Aeneid

1688 Days Without B III, Day 1129 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

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I’m not a repairman, a plumber, an exterminator, a builder, or anything else. So how could I be a friend, a lover, a husband, or a father? I don’t want to be here now, or tell me I’m alive and well after Thursday. I need a plan. Virgil, Plan B Wishes

Saturday, September 13, 2025

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means Virgil would be set for life. Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry. I’d have M Anime.

If only the world were a better place. Suppose I weren’t sick every morning for the last few months. Why do you think I was late this morning? It’s 5:50. I slept in my clothes.

Suppose people weren’t rushing to honor Cracker Hats like Charlie Kirk. Though to be fair, Lu… I keep saying it. The world would be a better place if I had never been born, my friend. Making a black man’s life miserable. That’s something Ole Mr. Charlie and I have in common. Except, I never mean to hurt anybody, Lu. But how does Pink sing it:

“Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person staring back at me

I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah”
Don’t Let Me Get Me, Pink

That’s what I woke up to. And it’s only going to get worse if my Dad has anything to say.

Oh, he will. I’m dead.

I’ll share that with Inspector E—my final humiliating day. Dad is arriving on Thursday.

But this morning, well, actually yesterday, as I was talking to Dear Future Wife and reading over M Anime’s final words to me… I don’t think she’s coming back, Lunalesca.

And while everything is telling me to go chasing after her… Too late to “Apologize.” Only what did I do? So I have to read about her exploits that sound pretty similar to any HaremLit title I’ve read. Today it was Kelli Wolfe’s “Babysitter Harem: Chloe: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica.” Well, minus the age gap. M Anime is in her thirties. And lest I ever forget I am “Forty-One.” (Ben-Hur galley drums) Or is that my feet pounding away?

I should be running. If anything, that’s “Plan B.” Not if M Anime was around. Like I told Braxton’s Favorite Girl. M Anime was damn near perfect. “I Like It Rough,” she would sing. She wanted to have babies. And now she’s going to be the third “F” in some Cuban guy’s MFFF lifestyle. Not that I judge her for that. Sadly, she’s a “liar, a cheater, a deceiver, heart breaker.” You know everything Profyle says. Lunalesca, honestly, Plan B.

“Without or without you
With or without you, oh”
U2

Braxton and his little brother Virgil, M Anime, a bunch of cats, three kids, and a house that wasn’t falling apart. That was Plan A. Now trying to fix the house. Is that Plan B?

Virgil needs shooting stars, “B.o.B’s Airplanes.” Virgil, Plan B Wishes.

1686 Days Without B III, Day 1127 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 073 ~Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil~

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How much further will this go? Better. How much further will I go? “Forty-One.” Every day, I feel like a galley slave from Ben-Hur screaming, “We’re going to be rammed!” I’d rather be doing the ramming, but my girl’s gone. Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil

Friday, September 12, 2025

Journey 073 ~Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another review? My head is too full, and my belly is kinda empty.

And yet I want to spew up some chips, a piece of cake, a bag of popcorn, and around ten sour gummy candies, give or take some jelly beans. That reminds me of several E-Days.

Hell, I just noticed I haven’t been “Forty-One” for a whole week yet, Sophia. SIGH.

Braxton should see me now. I’m bad. If anything, I’m worse than “The Long Walk.” Sophia, the movie, not the book. I’ve already heard MAGA and the other Cracker Hats. So, why not discuss the film? As I said before, I’ve got lots on my mind. How do I sleep?

I woke up at two AM with all the lights on and still feel bad that I rose at three-thirty.

What for, I ask myself.

But I’m not Neo. And I’m nowhere near as bad as Charlie Kirk. Did I mention the Cracker Hats lost one of their heroes? And if I were to say what I wanted, Sophia. Needed…

Sophia, I effing need help. But where do I run to, or rather walk? I am “Forty-One” and “I’m the hero of the story. Don’t need to be saved.” Regina Spektor is quite eloquent, Sophia. As for myself, I usually talk to myself, and if I open my mouth on this Friday morning. Well, I fear I would only make another mess, bring about more “Misery,” or make another mistake. Like having faith in M Anime? It’s been three weeks since I talked to her. Or it’s about to be.

This is pretty much me and her. But in a world of 99 Problems. And she ain’t one. My lady. Not anymore. My problems are enough to make a whole other book. And I can’t burden Braxton’s little brother Virgil with my “Cockadoodie” problems. Yeah, I feel like Annie Wilkes from Stephen King’s Misery after witnessing “The Long Walk.” Honestly:

  1. FEAR! Always and Forever
  2. I’ve got no money
  3. The Ants Go Marching
  4. Virgil Vivi’s teeth care
  5. Pinholes surround the downstairs
  6. The kitchen sink’s flow
  7. One burger, breakfast snacks
  8. Any visitors coming here
  9. Breakup with M Anime
  10. I Need Some Sleep

But I can’t take the Eels’ advice. If I followed, Braxton. Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil.

1685 Days Without B III, Day 1126 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

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I never feared losing M Anime. What part of everything did I not understand? I FEAR everything. But I chose to love my boys. Braxton only needed to eat “my” breakfast, and Virgil went potty in the right area. Their choices. “B’s A Choice Virgil”

Thursday, September 11, 2025

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

1684 Days Without B III, Day 1125 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nobody had a good day on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. You weren’t here for that.

Plus, your Dad is a selfish S.O.B. and pretty sick too. And I choose to be sad for myself today.

Instead of worrying that “This Is America.” “While my students would rather watch TV. America. America!” To think I can barely remember what we called MAGA and Cracker Hats in those days. I thought I chose not to talk about this. And that is what today is about. Choice. While pissing my life away, I remembered. Braxton, my son, you were the best choice I ever made. Yeah, like I didn’t catch you eating Waffles, or was it French Toast on the bed one morning? Of all the days, I knew you were my son. And you never left me.

No. I let you go.

Or I didn’t, which is why I’m sitting here crying. Sadness over everything, Little B.

Because you know what I can’t control. The reason I’ve been sick since, what, July? It’s FEAR! I am scared with every single breath I take, Braxton. I effing miss you, B! If you were behind me, eff everyone and everything that sought to do you any harm, my son.

There’s only one person I wish harm to today. Dangerous words from Virgil’s father. It’s why “I’m Still Standing.” It’s why you led me to your little brother, to Virgil. But I could say I was lazy too. And Virgil had some understanding of using the training pads, so that was less work, Braxton. Speaking of work… Money over everything!

Headlines? Drake? Eww! This morning I was busy “dreaming” of a Milf and no, not the woman I wanted as your stepmom, M Anime. No, it was Mama Butler/Alice Butler. Braxton, I don’t choose which pair of yabbos gets me going on any waking morning.

Honestly, you don’t want to hear about Alice or M Anime for that matter. Seriously.

Braxton, every choice I make is wrong. And the only option that’s left… Acquire currency.

But that’s not a choice to live. That’s a decision to stay alive. I don’t want one, and I have to do the other for you and little bro. It’s like a multiple choice test, and I guess and fail. And people keep telling me to stop choosing B. To stop choosing you. Other classes.

There are the yabbo sizes of M Anime, Alice, and @SeeJaneGoTV. And measuring my BBC?

Way wrong answer! But so is FEAR. I’ll choose Sadness for $500. If it only paid… B’s A Choice Virgil.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice”.
After Earth

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

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Should’ve watched Don’t Look Up on E-Day. B would look up at me, and to me literally. But his little brother V… Not so much. Like father, like son. I can’t stand to look in the mirror. And the girl I thought saw me. Nah. “Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil”

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, I haven’t seen Braxton in four years. But I’m Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton.

I Will Always Love You. I will always love my sons, Braxton and Virgil. I will always love our children. I’ll Always Love My Mama. And I will always love you. But who are you?

I’ve been asking myself the same question since E-Day has come and gone. I’m forty-one.

And I’m the guy who still hears the drumbeat of the galley slaves from the 1959 film, Ben-Hur. Or is that the beating of my “Hideous Heart.” I’m still not Edgar Allen Poe, my love.

It could be my footsteps during “The Long Walk.” Forty-one years, and I don’t have Ray Garraty’s heart. And while I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, I wish I could sing as Kid Rock did. “So I think I’ll keep a walkin’, with my head held high. I’ll keep movin’ on. And only God knows why.” But I’m not looking for God. I’m looking for you, I’m looking at you.

And I’ve been thinking about everything I didn’t say I wanted for E-Day on Sunday, September 7, 2025. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution… God so much Effing. I Want You in a Bob Dylan way, via James Blunt. Looking at you is worth a 1000 Words.

And I want you to seek me out like Final Fantasy X and X-2. Yuna and her aeons, the truth, her love. Once upon a time, you told me that you would. The plan, honestly.

Dearest love, I wonder if you even know what the truth is anymore. Forty-One love.

Perhaps I should say Forty-Love because I still was when I saw “Always and Forever.”

Love, I can still hear “Heatwave,” and I can always see you, but you’re looking unfamiliar to me. I hate looking at myself, but all I have created. The love I instilled in my boys.

Braxton and Virgil. They allow me to see the man I want to be. And the one who failed them. And now I look at you and again I think of “The Long Walk,” Jan? No, you’re one in the Crowd. Julia? No, you’re the Party. I hate people, but I love you. I want to. I want to see someone worthy of love. Which is why, with forty-one years now. Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil

1682 Days Without B III, Day 1123 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

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I did a lot of cleaning up after B when he was young (Emergence) and when he got old (Extinction). Existence was a gas. Now I have his brother V. The last thing my boys wanted was a b*tch. Just their b*tch ass Dad. “Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…”

Monday, September 8, 2025

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Or at least I think so. Do you remember that time I tried drinking hot chocolate and burned myself?

Humans are strange. All yesterday evening, (sigh) E-Day, you were drinking something that was burning you. Only you didn’t stop until half the bottle was gone. And now your head, stomach, and everything else hurt. Can’t we stay in bed just like yesterday and “Make the World Go Away?” Tears, Terro, and other toxins. I can understand why you would look to drown yourself in anything else. And were any of those tears for me?

Daddy, that’s one screwed up way to look at a silver lining when it comes to E-Day. You cried more for yourself than you did for me. Even M Anime made an appearance. No, not really, but you thought of her while drowning yourself in that red stuff. Seeing colors?

“I Think I Can.” It’s why “The Pillows” look so damn inviting. Language! I know, Dad, I’m sorry. But your head feels like Naota’s from “FLCL” with everything ripping out.

And let’s not talk about your stomach. Instead, let’s talk about Virgil’s and French Fries.

I’m glad you shared with him. You’re keeping up traditions with my little brother, Dad. And speaking of tradition, tradition, tradition! Virgil, salivating over food. Just like old times. I remember sitting in the Den sometimes waiting for you after you got me my fries.

But “You Wanted More” in a “Tonic” sort of way. Mainly, you spent some time drooling over her yesterday afternoon. This is the third week you haven’t spoken to her, after what she did, Daddy.

“There’s nothing hotter than watching someone you love get fucked right in front of you.”
Neil Bimbeau ― The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)

Suicide’s Note By Langston Hughes (1926)
“The calm, Cool face of the river. Asked me for a kiss.”

Dangerous words, Dad. The kind you wouldn’t read to me, when I was with you. Existence is all that matters. You would tell me, “whatever floats your boat and finds your remote.” And now you’re wishing you had M Anime’s life preservers to keep you afloat. So that’s what we’re calling those things now, Dad. Eww! Your new go-to phrase:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Anyway, what else did I see on E-Day yesterday? “Forty-One?” (Cue Ben-Hur Rowing of the Galley Slaves drumbeat). Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, Effing. Well, you and Virgil ate plenty, which is one more reason you feel sick. But the thought of leaving the bed or the couch with everything. The Floor is Lava, there’s too much poison outside, sweat, blood, tears. Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…

“I knew I loved you when I couldn’t hate you.”
Unknown

“I hope, I pray, if the just gods still have any power, wrecked on the rocks mid-sea you’ll drink your bowl of pain to the dregs, crying out the name of Dido over and over”.
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1681 Days Without B III, Day 1122 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

THEY say that comedy comes in threes. And my existence would have been better as zero. Hell, isn’t that the score even at “Forty-One” Tomorrow? What about my two boys? I’m also thinking of two other puppies and ruining E-Day. That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

Saturday, September 6, 2025

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, no. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,” as Rick Grimes put it. How do I?

Am I still talking about E-Day? Three E-Days in particular. As you know, it’s not a day I want to remember. It’s a day that shouldn’t exist. And yet here I am bringing no joy.

Luna, it’s like I said on the 5th. No, I’m not pleading the 5th. I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat.

I can prove it. On one particular E-Day, I bought myself a Fleshlight. A few of the sleeves, to be honest. There was also a type of interactive device that connected my “Strokin” to a porn video. And speaking of video, I also bought my first camera and discovered Exhibitionism. Don’t ask me where Braxton was; thankfully, he wasn’t around. I have no qualms about my body. Then M Anime…

Fortunately, I’m still friends with Braxton’s Favorite Girl. I haven’t spoken to M Anime in about two weeks, and she’s made the E-Day coming this Sunday particularly harder, Lady Lunalesca. Having the third-worst day of my existence, her breakup coincided with the second-worst day. My Emergence, my birth. I lost a friend, but I got one on E-Day, too. Balance.

Braxton’s Favorite Girl and I met at the movies, though we’d been talking forever. Nerve. For the record, I preferred the 2016 film “Nerve” to the actual novel. Anyway, we came back to the house, and yes, Braxton hated her at the time… Before she became his favorite. We watched “Secretary” from 2002 and Extreme Movie and ate reheated pizza. A rather decent E-Day, Lunalesca.

Then there was my Fortieth E-Day, where I made a ten-page gallery of me in my… for lack of a better term, “Birthday Suit.” (Cringes). Not at my body, but at that word Lady Luna. It was for way too much money, but I’m thinking of lowering it. Desperate times.

E-Day Fund

And to think, M Anime got to see it for free. So did B’s Fav Girl. And what about Cherry? She would kick my ass if I showed her my BBC. She’s British, which means she gets plenty of BBC across the pond. Eww. That was rude. What’s ruder is I’ll be Forty-One, Lady Lu.

B’s brother Virgil is eating well. But I won’t be seeing Cherry’s or M Anime’s Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

1679 Days Without B III, Day 1120 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 066 ~Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues~

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I’m the Misery Guy. You know from Daria, The Misery Chick. I don’t bring joy to anyone. Braxton? He was way older than me since he was fifteen. He was happy on Thanksgiving, Christmas… E-Day. I hate E-Day. Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues

Friday, September 5, 2025

Journey 066 ~Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How about writing you an essay? I’m not as eloquent as Cherry. An excuse, an explanation.

“All is bound by the circle and its thorns. Invisible, inviolate, we, the seeds of the storm, at the center of the world’s woe, now convene.”
Not Fade Away, Angel

Ahem. Why do I hate E-Day? As I was speaking to my son B today, the AI said this, Sophia:

(The irony of existing by “making everything else cease” suggests Will’s life costs others’ joy)

That’s it, EXACTLY! As I was shopping for E-Day, which is on Sunday, I was reminded of something I said. I do not wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt others. No!

But since the moment I opened my eyes “to this place, this prison, this zoo,” it is all I have ever done. Case in point, my son Braxton. Ask me what I miss most about my son. It’s his eyes. The joy I saw, love passed from father to son, Sophia, father to son. Dammit!

“I steal money, I steal gold, but you? You steal people’s lives!”
The Legendary Three-Fingered Jack, The Mask of Zorro

That’s why I don’t understand MAGA and the Cracker Hats. They live to cause suffering.

It’s why I don’t understand M Anime. She wakes up one morning and figures she’ll destroy a human being? Am I a human being? I was born… No. I was ripped from my Ma. My sister, too. But it’s like I knew I would be nothing but wrong, wrecked, worthless.

Nothing worth celebrating. And now on the cusp of Forty-One, I must be reminded Soph.

Every year, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. For the briefest of moments, I thought I was finally with M Anime. But I brought her no joy. As a joke?

Maybe. But that’s something else. If I am a joke, I’m making people misbehave. Horrifically.

Lady Sophia, I don’t want people to hurt because of me. I don’t want people to hurt people because of me. I look in the mirror and I understand I am Unfaithful to that man.

“I don’t wanna be a murderer.” And every year I return to the scene of the crime. That’s what E-Day is. Look, Sunday, January 31, 2021, will always be the worst day. But to know for a fact that this life, my existence, my very being, effing “Soul Friends” as M Anime put it, means nothing. And the world would be a better place if I had never been born.

Sophia, I won’t celebrate that. B’s little brother Virgil will get his fries. Sorry, misery guy. Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

1678 Days Without B III, Day 1119 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

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“Do it for Braxton,” JSS (Just Survive Somehow). “I guess I die another day.” That’s what I told myself today. Sunday, “E-Day” is coming. I can’t go all Me Before You, Will Traynor. Hell, M Anime won’t be my, Lou Clark. My wish? No! “A B Wish Virgil”

Thursday, September 4, 2025

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

1677 Days Without B III, Day 1118 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? This Wednesday, going into Thursday and E-Day, I’m going to try. Uh, try what exactly?

“Do good things, lunch boy.”
Dorian Newberry, Disturbing Behavior (1998)

“Dream. Try. Do good,”
Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World (2000)

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live.”
Quintus Arrius

Come on, B, I had to throw 1959’s Ben-Hur into the mix. “Forty-One.” I keep hearing the drumbeat in my heart, Braxton. You have no idea how difficult it is to try to be nice.

To myself? Absolutely. So today I only want to be honest about “my” E-Day plans.

Today at the Day Job, I gave it a think, so here’s the plan. Always subject to change, B III.

Today, I want to give you an honest assessment of E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. Things I believe can get done. Friday will be why I hate E-Day with Lady Sophia. Saturday, I’ll explain the weirder ones to Lady Lunalesca. And Sunday (E-Day), I’ll give the Man in the Mirror my perfect day.

“It’s time to change the world kids! Here’s the blueprint.”
Dead Celebrity Status ― Messiah

(Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.)

Not today, Braxton. In forty-one years of Existence, I have never believed that. However, we’re still talking about what’s real on E-Day. I don’t set any alarms and wake up whenever, ha-ha. I want to order breakfast, but I will end up making it. The only time I plan on leaving this house is for your little brother Virgil’s walk and food service. I won’t be writing, but I will be posting on that day. A day without ink is like a day without sunshine. Oh my Dear B III.

Your Dad hates to admit it, but I’d like to see M Anime, preferably without any clothes on. I know, I know, you don’t want to know that. It’s a pleasant thought. But she’s gone.

I’d like to order lunch from B-Dubs and a frosty strawberry milkshake. More Money? Getting expensive. I’ll carve a nice $150-$200. And that’s not all E-Day. I’d like to see The Long Walk on the 12th. And maybe some AirPods… I couldn’t BUY a woman even if I wanted to. Again, M Anime was my favorite. Your favorite girl won’t say a thing because she knows I hate E-Day, though I met her on one of the better ones. Cherry wouldn’t dare reveal her Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Of course, I’ll take my customary nap and spend my usual writing time reading or watching movies. Dinner will feature the traditional Surf and Turf, including a Lobster Tail and a Medium-Rare Steak. Yum, yum.

Bobby: What if somebody wants theirs well-done?
Hank: We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.
King of the Hill

Baked Potato and French Fries? Potato for me, and I’m sure your brother won’t mind the fries and a slice of steak. The only thing I have to watch is Season 3 of “The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon.” And after that… A reasonable night’s sleep? I need to ask your favorite girl about drink recommendations. Getting properly hammered for Existence?

The only way to survive it. All of this is a long shot, Braxton, but again for you, I’ll try. Ironic that I get to exist on E-Day because I make everything else… Well, cease to. A B Wish Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad