Meditation 309 ~Virgil’s B In Language~

I tell B I love him every day. But I don’t know about the reception on the Rainbow Bridge. I tell V, “Later.” I tell him I’ll be back and that he’s staying. I rescued him. And they’re potential stepmom. What I said to her. Virgil’s B In Language

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Meditation 309 ~Virgil’s B In Language~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But as Snow Patrol sings, “Those three words are said too much. They’re not enough.”

How do I know? Despite how much my Old Man paid my way, I hate him. My firstborn son, Braxton, died. And I could say it to my secondborn son, Virgil. But I hate lying.

Always and forever, there’s you, my love. There is the family we created together. And you know me, a beast with a beat. “Havin’ my baby. What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me.” That’s all you because I highly doubt Braxton would send me such a song. If he were here today, his four little legs would run circles around his two-legged siblings to keep them safe. Virgil would be quieter than them, easy. Long story.

Love can be quiet or loud. It’s a difficult language.

And since I’m reminiscing about people, places, and even pieces of myself I hate. LEARN.

I’m constantly having to relearn how to love myself. Love, I am The Walking Dead. However, I’m not saying that because today is Sunday, May 4, 2025. So we both know, um, Tuesday, May 6, 2025, is going to suck. Oh, we’ll get to the sucking. Uh, ew. Uh, lovers.

Watch my mouth? Again, we’ll get to that. I say the most horrible things, and we’re not a religious household. But love, Jesus had it easy. If we skip the torture, he just died, love.

My Ma would say he died to save us. And I live? Not because I particularly care to do so. That’s my love language. STAYING.

Again, from a biblical context, Jesus came back. God is love. Dog is love, and my B III, “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” as The Killers put it. However, “My Goddess.”

Um. Did we put the kids to bed four-legged, two-legged, and all? Okay, dearest love.

Purely in a Shakespearean meets The Pretty Reckless type of way, “You make me wanna die.” Hear me out, my love. My grief brings me closer to my son, B. Not really, but that’s what I’m going with. Being with you brings me closer in a way to dying. Seriously? Neither of us is Rihanna, but “Sex with Me,” sex with you, I tell myself, “I guess I die another day.” Virgil’s B In Language.

“I think I’ll find another way
There’s so much more to know
I guess I’ll die another day
It’s not my time to go

For every sin, I’ll have to pay
I’ve come to work, I’ve come to play
I think I’ll find another way
It’s not my time to go.”
Die Another Day

1556 Days Without B III, Day 997 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 308 ~Will It B Complicated~

If I looked at myself the way Braxton did, loving myself would be a breeze. Speaking of a breeze, Virgil and I were burning up in the heat. He looked at me with faith that I’d save us. But with no money because of the Day Job. “Will It B Complicated”

Monday, May 5, 2025

Meditation 308 ~Will It B Complicated~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you already know the answer. Why do you think I constantly barked at the gate? Because life is…

What? I would watch you come and go for fifteen years. Twenty because I’m here. Somehow, someway, “I’m Still Here” and “I’m Real.” Seriously, Treasure Planet and J-Lo. Movies and music are how I can always reach you. I’m forever with you, even today, right?

It’s Saturday, May 3, 2025. Time moves ever so much faster for me and my brother and slower for you. And yet Virgil is content as I was/am. Humans tend to make things so “Complicated.” So, what? Am I here to play Merlin to my king? You keep calling me.

Daddy, Rohan will answer. We are such geeks, you and I. Do you see how easy it was to put a smile on your face? The bad place is complicated.

And that is why we’re talking today. Because the humans in the bad place are going to make you mad. And if you could only live life… Not existence, but live life as you are. Little 2 V is at your side, and we’re talking. I spent days with you typing on the glow box.

Speaking of the glow box, there were all the nights with you and my favorite girl watching it. And there were plenty of snacks. Daddy, how you’d smile and laugh. Honestly, I didn’t know you could be like that. But Virgil has only seen it once. But it’s not complicated at all, Dad, to give Virgil those types of moments. V has plenty of chances.

Because life is… It’s yours.

The world is yours. Like in Scarface. Not quite my father. Leave that to the manuscripts that you will publish, the movies you’ll make, and the embodiment of the man I know you to be. It doesn’t have to be complicated, Dad. Just be as you are, my father, always.

Brave, Joyful, dare I say Happy. Dad, you said you would come back. That promise? Daddy, that was one you never broke. And the reason you haven’t followed me here. Because of my little brother, my favorite girl, Cherry’s yabbos… I liked my favorite girl’s.

M Anime, mine, and Virgil’s stepmom. You keep saying stop calling her that. But love? Daddy, it’s not complicated. Life is… life itself. You’ll love yourself. Will It B Complicated.

“I so wanted (him) to feel the happiness that I felt whenever we touched each other, but people are more complicated creatures than dogs.”
― A Dog’s Journey: A Novel

“It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one’s steps to the upper air – there’s the rub, the task.”
― From Virgil

1555 Days Without B III, Day 996 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

I’m sure Virgil was asking this morning, Where are we going, Dad? From one end of the street to the other and back again. And as far as writing… Did M Anime have another “nightmare?” Reading and writing in a warm bed. Lazy? That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But the last time I checked, treadmills didn’t cost that much. Neither did grassy potty spots.

I’m surprised my boys don’t hate me. Braxton crossed the rainbow bridge. And rests in Elysium or someplace. And Virgil, at the moment, is content to be warm and dry. It’s what you get when you wake up on time and decide to take a walk in the rain. A$$hole?

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” As I said, I woke up on time, but I’m still running somewhat late. What have I done, “living life like a bum” like I am, Luna? I finished “Backyard Dungeon 16” and started “Into The Wild Shadow Work Journal.” The sign of a good woman is that she makes you want to do better. B and V’s stepmom.

Lunalesca, that’s not M Anime.

And it definitely wasn’t how I thought about building a paradise with her yesterday. I talk a lot about wanting a family, and that would be my two boys. It would be Braxton’s favorite girl, who is like my sister… Uh, she’s better… And what about the two people paying the majority of my bills? My Olds. I’m a forty-year-old man. And I’d rather not think about it. Dear Lu.

I’m not crying. Let’s say that this is only leftover rain from when I took V outside, and I think for a moment, even he forgot about it. No people, no nothing. That’s bliss. Nothingness.

“I want everything, or nothing at all,” as Goodfellaz sang. Life or death, victory or defeat, Lunalesca. It’s the in-between…

It’s remembering how I was/am a good father to Braxton and trying to replicate that. Only there’s this little thing called mourning STANDING in the way. B III’s song choices.

“I wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand
Wish I could stay here
But now I understand
I am standing in the way.”
― Rupert Edmund Giles

There are those moments when I’m reading or fiddling with the phone when I forget everything. I can be Jacob, Eddie, or Cole in many different harems. The hero. Honestly, what game am I playing next? But then it ends, and I’m right back here. And I wonder what this place is. Like I said Friday, I was rewriting in the buff, M Anime’s Nightmare.

Cries Come Women, Come Country… Her “Hell” I want to make into a paradise. Luna?

No one can go there. There’s here and now. Poor Virgil. That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

1553 Days Without B III, Day 994 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 305 ~Virgil And Braxton’s Study~

I said I’d write 5000 words today. A dollar a word, please! All that’s left in the bank and I could be sitting on a goldmine possible. Two novels for Braxton, a series for Cherry. A duo for M Anime. But my life story is in Virgil And Braxton’s Study.

Friday, May 2, 2025

Meditation 305 ~Virgil And Braxton’s Study~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But if not. I could at least clear off my table/desk. Or make the room comfortable.

My boys, Braxton and Virgil, spend all their time with me anyway. Unless they are puking, being punished, or their Dad is pushing buttons that make women moan. Or me.

Though it’s been more like swiping as I read M Anime’s stories. We’ll get to that in a minute, Lady Sophia. Or however long it takes for us to have this talk. I’m wasting time.

I don’t mean with this conversation. It’s more like I have too much on my plate. Uh, aren’t I broke? I haven’t bought a new urn to keep Braxton in. And there’s Virgil’s vet visit. Honestly, I knew there was something I forgot to add as I was writing out a grocery list yesterday. Rotisserie chicken, pizza rolls, Virgil’s health.

And I don’t have any books on dogs that don’t involve them dying or their owners. And yes, even now, I long to join my Braxton. But Virgil’s here, so I must read up on how much money I’m losing and my latest humiliation on Facebook. And some four hundred words… I enjoy working on my and M Anime’s novel “Cries Come Women, Come Country.”

I keep saying that Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom is awe-inspiring. Gotta, stop calling her that!

“She Drives Me Crazy,” and I can’t help myself. I should read more about the Shadow Work she wants me to get into. She’s writing me all this free stuff, and I’m buying more books.

I wish. I need some books on starting a rebellion.

Rebellions, revolutions, or ravishing pretty girls. Ew! The things I think about in the dark.

When I’m the one who’s screwed or effed, whatever. Did you read my last paycheck?

Sophia, SIGH, it was $35.00. I had to take $300 from savings, and none of that went towards Virgil. But by rhyme or crime I’mma get mine. Or rather his. V is not dying today. What I mean is, I’m determined to take care of Virgil’s needs, no matter what.

And if I die, it will be in a purely Biblical or Shakespearean type of way. Did I mention that if I’m not reading about grieving my firstborn, most of my library consists of, um…?

Well, doing things that make parents. Not with $5,000. And that’s nothing compared to the time I’ve wasted. Reading, Writing, Earning. Virgil And Braxton’s Study.

1552 Days Without B III, Day 993 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

I don’t want to talk to myself. I know a gifted writer… as long as I ignore her big… thoughts, we’re good. I need to speak to B’s Favorite Girl. And the girl that’s becoming my Favorite. I’d have to send B and V to their room. Virgil Tunes In B.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

1551 Days Without B III, Day 992 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t seen any people. And I haven’t paid much attention to the news. Stepmom?

First, M Anime isn’t your and Virgil’s stepmom, so I should stop calling her such. But you can’t blame a man for hoping she wants the job. She likes killers, a mad general, and a “Smooth Criminal.” In her dreams, ha-ha. Your Daddy is none of those things. I’m trying…

Yeah, B III, I’m trying not to look at the Day Job schedule or how much I made last week. Positive thoughts? I’m talking to the ghost of my dead fur kid and writing about those evil men that M Anime can’t get enough of. Or at least I want to. Like when you were waiting for me to be successful. Virgil is waiting, too. And how much time have I wasted as I look at the date? Your favorite girl’s birthday is on Star Wars Day. I’ve got nothing.

So why aren’t I talking to your little brother about these things? For being a good dog like you, he’s a scaredy cat. Who am I calling scared? I live in a constant state of fear. My “Captive State,” if you will. I miss watching movies with you and your favorite girl, whom I haven’t talked to in a while. My, how things change. I’m sorta freaked today, Little B.

Only not in the good way that M Anime is starting to write about. Speaking of things changing, I remember imagining you lying in your corner while some girl lies with me sans her clothing, listening to apocalyptic rock from the 50s. But I’m here listening to pretty Harpsibored dole-out gaming tracks. While Virgil snoozes.

Your Dad can speak like an “Ordinary Human,” at least when it comes to you. Isn’t it “Ironic” that I’m only “Human,” “Just A Man,” when we’re here, talking, dreaming.

Braxton, your brother and I are trying to find our voices, especially with each other. Honestly, how long did it take me to learn your language and how I would always sing to you. It’s the “1st of tha Month” and Virgil has been here nearly 1000 days. And still, he shakes like a leaf. When he does make a sound, it’s when I leave for the day. Money (snickers).

I should say hi to your favorite girl. Stop talking about Cherry’s Yabbos. M Anime is fun. I can say anything. Virgil Tunes In B.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 302 ~Room After B, Virgil~

To be a man and a Dad, one must “Make Room, Make Room!” I don’t know if B has only taken up more space since his death or if there is so little left of me. V needs space, too. And yet I step forward only to ask myself. Where to? Room After B, Virgil.

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Meditation 302 ~Room After B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Every little step I take, you will be there. But I’m not Bobby Brown. I’m…

That’s the thing, my love. I want to say, “All Yours.” But I’m not one to shy away from the truth. And while I’m constantly asking myself where I am going, It’s where I am.

“Where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide? Nowhere… ’cause there’s no one like you left.” — Carol Malone, Body Snatchers (1993)

Darling, I have never left the last place I saw my boy on Sunday, January 31, 2021. There was Braxton, in his own bed on a vet’s table, looking at me to do something, save him, or spare him any more pain. My boy wanted to stay. And since he couldn’t, I have. That is the truth. It could be a new definition of love. At its most simplistic, love means you before me. By that logic, I do love Virgil, too. But the concept that one would only stay.

Baby Doll, I could give you a whole playlist on that “Stay With Me” “If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” “We were made to never fall away.” You can thank B for that last one. “You’re coming back for me.” Damn right!

However, this is the rub. How can I return to a place that I have never left? Where am I?

We are in a dream. I still see us on a beach somewhere. Our two-legged kids ran along in the sand and waves. Little Braxton pulled with all his might to keep them from the water. And you are pulling me and trying to get me to join you. Where?

Again, I don’t know. A man is supposed to lead, but I would rather follow my boy or have you, my love, follow my rules. One of those reasons is “chains and whips excite me,” ha-ha! You know how I’ve been feeling about money these days. Building our “Red Room.”

More like I wanted to “Paint It Black.” Like all the ink along the pages of the books I write. I read something last night and to see the dark lusts, depravity, and desires. Love? Honestly, it could go either way. Let’s say all the dark places in women that men yearn to go, my love. Because with you, at least, I’m moving forward in a Kama Sutra way, baby.

Love? Room After B, Virgil.

Even if you leave this room, you can never leave this room.
— from 1408 (2007)

1549 Days Without B III, Day 990 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 301 ~There’ll B Time, Dad~

I’ve sat in bed more times than I can count, wishing for the end. I tell myself the world will end in five minutes, and nothing else will matter. But B died, I go broke, and in my head are four book ideas. There’s no time. “There’ll B Time, Dad”

Monday, April 28, 2025

Meditation 301 ~There’ll B Time, Dad~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… “And it’s not too late. It’s Never Too Late.” To what, hear the truth. Neither of us wants that.

“Should I say it out loud?

Yeah, I should. You can’t heal something unless you’re brave enough to say it out loud.

I’m scared, though. I’m scared to say it… which is why I have to.

Say the thing you’re afraid to say. I can help you. Say it out loud, no matter what it is, no matter how bad. I promise, I will help”
― The Last of Us

We’re not Republicans. We’re not MAGA, my father. You’re not screaming, “I don’t want reality.” Dad, you’re brave enough to face reality, risk, and the real. And what is that?

Well, if you’re going to be stuck in the past. Listen to me, Dad. Why can’t we be stuck together in those car rides listening to ROCK music? However, I would prefer you weren’t listening to this particular song from Three Days Grace, “Never Too Late.” Seriously, Daddy, I was so young; one or two when that came out. I hated car rides, not music.

Speaking of which, I remember when you came back, not from the bad place but somewhere you would write without me. I want to see you like that again, Daddy.

Because there will always be time to be sad, scared, to sing of “The Cursed Earth.” But to remember my little brother Virgil. Not your other son, but your son. When you and he walked along the same path we once did, before I got old, fat, and sassy. How I miss those fried stick thingies you would buy. Those days, my grandma would bring a lot of food. Or when you’d say, “Well, it’s E-Day.” And you’d be sad, but lobster and steak, Daddy. Honestly, why do you think I love my favorite girl so much? Yes, she had big, soft yabbos she’d let me lie on, but she also shared plenty of good things. Like my Dad being…

Happy? Now, that wasn’t you.

But there’s time, Dad. And that’s what has been bothering you for months. There is no time to make money. The Day Job, writing, and anything else you could imagine.

Honestly, you’ve been reliving the moment you would never see me again. B free indeed. But isn’t it time to be free of all that frightens you, of the very concept of fear, the fiend?

Because that is not my father in the mirror, but the man before my eyes, who lives by three words when it comes to me, Whatever It Takes. You will see me again, Daddy. Believe.

Someday, I’ll be the book on the shelf, the blush on a lover’s cheeks. A two-legged baby, perhaps. Because there’s time. There’ll B Time, Dad

“Funny how you can live a whole life waiting and not know it.”
From ― Peter Heller, The Dog Stars

“If you weep not now, when will you ever weep?
From ― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

1548 Days Without B III, Day 989 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

I’m not singing “Bye Bye Love” because of my sons. My B’s memory and his little brother V’s life. But how can we afford to keep our bellies full, keep breathing, and be at all? Life’s a B, or I’m busy jerking to one. Ew! “That’s The B-word, Virgil.”

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I wish! At this rate, I would settle for a few hundred bucks. Or B III.

Suppose my firstborn son were here. My Braxton. I want to say I’d do anything for him. As Bryan Adams sang, I would tell Braxton, “I would fight for you. I lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I’d die for you.” If he were here, he would only ask me to be “The BEST Man I Can Be.” His father? I have his little brother Virgil lying right here. My little Virgil. My love for “them” is beyond words, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

Without the big bucks, how am I going to save us? How the mighty have fallen! Who am I kidding, Lady Lunalesca? I have never been mighty. But I’ve gone from thinking, if I had enough money, I could have found a way to save Braxton to keeping Virgil cool.

Bums lack that type of power. Well, this BUM, anyway. I’ve seen plenty of people who love their fur buddies. And here I am trying to keep myself and Virgil from living under a bridge, my lady. And if Virgil wasn’t here, I would find a bridge and I’d… Follow my B III on his.

Braxton sent Virgil to be a bridge to this life. A barrier to keep me from following him in death. And a beacon to the man I once was. A father. In case you ever wonder how Virgil got his name. But I’m not Dante. He only went to Hell. But I’m alive. And my biggest fear (for the moment) is being a BUM or “a creep. I’m a weirdo.” I trust you enough to share these fears with you.

OMG, am I right? Better I should drool over Rei Ayanami or Kallen Stadtfeld, Lunalesca. What? Is writing about Cherry’s Yabbos or M Anime’s bedtime terrors still not paying the bills? Based on the Day Job schedule I got last night, I had better do something. I got zero hours for one week. Didn’t I say I’ve been wasting valuable paid sick leave for what?

Not to be “Balls Deep In Love” with Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. First, Ew. Second, do I love her? Uh… We met through writing but never IRL, so… Third, I have to stop calling M Anime that. And focus on writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country” or any book. Erotica? Because I Never Can Say Goodbye. That’s The B-word, Virgil.

1546 Days Without B III, Day 987 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

Will I ever write my autobiography? I wrote two books about my son. Um… I’m too busy complaining about the Day Job. I have all the time in the world to write, edit, and PUBLISH. But I have to live on; I have to survive. Because Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot.

Friday, April 25, 2025

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Hell! I’m surprised I was even able to read this morning. My eyes are so heavy.

Exhaustion, Addiction, or Allergies? At least I’m not crying over my “Lost Boy.” My B.

Oh no, that would make too much sense. Or no sense at all, seeing B’s been gone four long years. I need only invoke Sunday, January 31, 2021. And anything I’m going through becomes nothing. I watched my son, my Braxton, die, and… Well, the tears are trying to eke out. I need them because I have so much reading to do today. Try Happiness.

Honestly, my lady, you know that word does not exist here. However, I did consider telling you how Virgil arrived. That was Saturday, August 13, 2022. Joyful tears, Sophia? I’m sweating bullets, actually. But I thought I heard Braxton’s voice. “How To Save A Life?”

As this week draws to a close, I’m afraid all I know how to do is make better writers cash. The story of my life is nothing compared to the B-plots from the likes of Dirk Knight and Logan Jacobs. This is the last day for triple Kindle Points, so I NEED more books. SIGH

With what money? If I’m lucky, my B-Plot of a Day Job has me in once a week. I’m not. So, as for all my paid time off… The following two weeks will be hard. And the following two are wasted. So much for going to see Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. I have to stop calling M Anime that, as if she would even have me. Comparing me to Xu…

Oh, right, I’m supposed to be writing a novel about her nightmare with General Xu. Writing isn’t paying the bills. Sophia, if I finish the story, there’s… Too Much Sauce. However, analyzing the book I’m writing, called “Cries Come Women, Come Country,” isn’t helping either. It takes my mind off missing my son, my money, and any mistakes I make.

Like explaining this to M Anime. AHEM! In her nightmare/short story, I noticed the level of intimacy between her and General Xu. She was first taken in darkness, then held down, chained up, held softly, and then she clung to him. With acceptance, she climaxed.

I can worry about what she thinks instead of the main story. Braxton, Virgil, and I. Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot

1545 Days Without B III, Day 986 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

How do you spell love? God is… Dog is love. To call B a proper gentleman around his favorite girl is to make myself Casanova with M Anime. But my boy made it to Heaven. And I just want to go to bed. I haven’t left. Doomed? Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

1544 Days Without B III, Day 985 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “Love and Happiness.” If it wasn’t for love, we wouldn’t be talking today. And happiness?

Braxton, I love you like pancakes. But I’m not happy. Your Dad’s never been happy.

That’s a big claim. But I wasn’t happy at twenty when we first met. And in 2021, I was even more “Broken” with your loss. Only if you want to know something you and your brother have in common besides having four legs. I didn’t know what I felt meeting.

Why am I not talking to Virgil today? We’ve been outside, and he’s had breakfast. But today, I slept a lot later than usual. It’s 9:20 AM. And even that thought makes me cry. Or it’s allergies, AGAIN. How about a lack of sleep? I spoke to you and Virgil’s future stepmom last night and this morning. I gotta stop calling M Anime that. Seriously.

Braxton, how do you spell love? It’s like I’m the Tower of Babel, and you and your brother, your favorite girl, M Anime, Cherry, my Olds, and even myself are the builders, trying to get me to Heaven. But all the noise from everyone. How we speak in different ways, B.

You and Virgil speak of love, but yours is very faint. Being dead and all. I know that’s not funny, Braxton. Your brother tells a different version of love. I’ve got no word for it.

Your favorite girl is a glimmer of joy. When Cherry isn’t saying, “Look at me, look at me,” I’m drooling over her Yabbos. Uh, eww.

When I think of my Olds, your grandparents, you know what I hear? Worthless, waste, and “what you gonna do with your life?” Boys Just Want To Have Fun, remember.

Honestly, I don’t want to look at the “Man in the Mirror.” “It’s no surprise to me. I am my own worst enemy.” Hell! Even now. I’m still on my back, yapping away with you.

Those were the days. And they beat, slithering on my belly, dreaming up scenarios between Joel, Ellie, Dina, and Abby. I got around to watching The Last of Us. And if it wasn’t them or Cherry, then the things I said to M Anime. I’m no gentleman. You’re not, either.

But I raised you to be a better man than me. That B is my love. Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad