Tag: Breathing

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

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I wish I could afford an alcohol problem now. Hell, this morning, my lazy ass stayed in bed awhile and read about a girl sniffing Oxytocin. I want something to make me want to be awake or let me sleep. Sitting in the present as Virgil Takes Vitamin B

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough that my first question, besides “Beast of Burden,” is, what does Vitamin B do?

And there I go, thinking about “Special K,” sigh. She was my maid once upon a time. And she was the one who told me about Vitamin B. Did I mention I have a maid fetish, My Love? We’ll get to that. The Vitamin B I want to talk about is furry and has four legs. And often looked at me like, “Forget your troubles and just get happy.” “Get Happy.” My Love, I only want to be less afraid. “Be Not So Fearful.” Here are three fears I have:

  1. Braxton’s Death, Virgil’s Life
  2. My Old Man’s Birthday
  3. Whatever Norton Is Saying

And right behind these things:

  1. Losing You My Love
  2. Losing All Our Money
  3. The Loss Of America

FEAR is my energy source, My Love. Scare me enough, and I take action. Everything I did while my firstborn son Braxton lay dying. I should say he was on “The Long Walk” because he was ready to die on his feet. Anyway, I was rubbing his little brother Virgil’s belly, and I panicked when I saw a TICK so close to his eye that I “saved” him from, babe.

And now we have today. And eff Norton! Well, I would rather eff you, My Love. Besides wanting and needing your “Sexual Healing.” What else would help me be unafraid?

Speaking of Sinestro becoming my favorite villain in DC. Darth Vader in Star Wars, ha! Hulk is my hero. Anger. Tony Stark, Iron Man. Wealth.

Sickness? Eww! But I want to be sick. As if I can get everything bad out of my body. Love?

“Stay With Me. Cause you’re all I need.” We can sleep, we can have sex. And you know how I sin. Sadism. I was thinking about all my kinks. It’s effed up that I think of losing Braxton, which is the greatest pain I’ve ever known. Then, as Billy Ocean put it, ‘You wake up, and Suddenly you’re in love.” That’s me next to you, wanting to give a dose of Vitamin D. More like “I want to effing tear you apart” Why? I want to feel better. No son (Uh, Virgil, our other children…) No sun. Just your Love. While Virgil Takes Vitamin B.

1605 Days Without B III, Day 1046 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 355 ~V With Envy, Braxton~

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Ignorance is strength. But I wouldn’t dare call myself a wise man despite reading daily. I’ve been into 1984 lately, but I started “Seven Days in June.” My mind isn’t eased. My Virgil, Braxton, and how scared I am. I envy peace. V With Envy, Braxton.

Saturday, June 21, 2025

Meditation 355 ~V With Envy, Braxton~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Then why am I not HAPPY? FDT! Eff Elon Musk! Eff MAGA. Yet I am effed!

Effed enough that I was having nightmares about my piddly ass Day Job, Lady Luna.

Honestly, I thought I was late. I even woke up afterward and had to check the effing schedule. Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what? There’s the side where I could get a drink, Braxton might lick my nose, or I make a pretty, pretty girl all wet, Lu.

Instead, I’m usually sweating; if I’m lucky, I’ve had a “wet dream” about Braxton and Virgil’s M Anime… More on her later. Or I wake up in tears. And while I continue to mourn for my firstborn son, Braxton. It’s FEAR more than anything that brings me tears, Lady Lunalesca. Either that or effing exhaustion.

I know I should stop saying effing. I envy my second-born son, Virgil. He doesn’t have to worry about such a word. Because my boy’s a dog? What does he have to bellyache about? Oh, that’s right, Lady Lunalesca, he’s got no balls. That was not my doing, dear Lu.

I took him as is. Previously owned. This explains why he has no mind of his own. And when was this again? Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil’s Gotcha Day. I live on Sunday, January 31, 2021, between 3:30 to 4:00 PM. Braxton’s Last Ride, Lunalesca.

I envy both of my sons. Braxton, when he left my side for the Rainbow Bridge. And Virgil’s last few minutes behind a cage before I ruined his life forever.

“Forever and always, I’m always here.” I’m not Jimi Jamison, and this isn’t Baywatch. But “I’m Always Here” For M Anime? By the time my Boricua queen visits me, she won’t be anything like Kiriko Ragawa from “Depravity.” And me, the beefy Lifeguard lead… Ha!

That’s one more fantasy I have for M Anime and I. But how will I make it to December, Lady Lunalesca? I already can’t stand today when every moment is like I’m playing T.O.N.E.Z, “I’m ON THE RUN fam, all eyes on me. Either walk or fly. I’m ready to die,” hmm. And I wish I were still talking about M Anime. But Virgil somehow survives. He lives, going on 1043 Days. Envying such FEARFUL ignorance. V With Envy, Braxton.

1602 Days Without B III, Day 1043 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 353 ~B’s Take Flight, Virgil~

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Am I allergic to bees? I’ve never been stung. Feeling petrified or in pain, and my “Enormous P.” It springs up, and I don’t know what to do. A lie. But I’d rather let it all go. But something is constantly raising me up. B’s Take Flight, Virgil.

Thursday, June 19, 2025

Meditation 353 ~B’s Take Flight, Virgil~

1600 Days Without B III, Day 1041 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t know how I’m feeling right this second. You and Virgil’s potential stepmom texted…

But last night was pretty effing terrible! LANGUAGE! And no, not because of her, B. Honestly, Braxton, you hated… How can I put this? EVERYONE! But you want me happy.

How dare I ask you to bark out Third Eye Blind’s “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend” Third Eye Blind? B III? I swear Braxton Barks the things I remember.

I don’t want to remember last night. Why? Well, I fell asleep soon after catching up with NXT. So, the lights were on, and a show was playing, and your little brother, Virgil, had “snuck up” beside me. So I’m turning the lights off at 1:00 AM. Then like Squid Game’s Seong Gi-hun, I listen, hear, and understand this thought… cue his face I’m Effed!

Next thing you know, I’m scared, sobbing, the effing screaming inside my effing head, B.

Yes, yes, LANGUAGE, but there’s a reason your ashes rest above all my miniature armory. At that moment, son, I was (Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal. I haven’t felt that close to you in a bit. And that’s what you were doing last night, biting me, pulling me away from that drawer. I swear I could hear the angel wings on your back, Little B.

But I also imagined your potential stepmom, M Anime. Lying there in the dark, I started compiling a playlist for her. “Ain’t Nobody” Chaka Khan! “Doin’ It.” “Footsteps in the Dark.” I know, Ew! Don’t you want siblings with two legs? And M Anime’s Yabbos…

But thinking about being the first man that will “sting” her, if you know what I mean. B, you don’t want to know. If I’m on top of her, I’m not falling into my grave. And thinking of her moaning, crying, and screaming. Somehow, it stopped my tossing and turning.

Virgil wakes me up, so I know I got some sleep. And next thing you know, I’m rushing him outside so he can go to the bathroom. If only Virgil were more like you, Braxton. Seriously, I still want to be like you. But I can’t hurt you, M Anime and V like that ever.

“What was it like, the luxury of not hurting?”
Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

Did you go to Heaven to hold me up? M Anime above me. Walking with Virgil. B’s Take Flight, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

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I’ve been addicted to many things in “my” life. My mattress, my mutts (Braxton Barks was purebred). Anyway, there are also melons. But what am I moaning about today? What am I addicted to? FEAR. So my boys rise. Ante Up. “Addicts Up, B, V.”

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I called my boys “addicts,” as in druggies. If Braxton and Virgil are addicted to anything, it’s life.

Then why did B III have heart medication when he needed something for his kidneys?

Who knew? It took around $500 for the vets to figure that out. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, my firstborn son was dead. Addicted to the misery, ain’t I, Inspector. And don’t even get me started on the money. My boys are priceless. But yes, I have been worried about money lately. My fault. But I was talking to B and V’s potential stepmom.

We spoke about feelings, and as always, the one that dominates me when I “Step Into A World” is FEAR. Maybe listening to KRS-One will stop me from screaming, Inspector.

My boy, my Braxton, is dead, euthanized. And then there’s Virgil puking up his meds.

What was it I said yesterday? As Blessid Union of Souls put it, “I Believe” love is the answer. My boys, the beauties in my life, and dammit, will I finish a book! I’m sleepy.

Inspector, I miss energy shots, but I’m still reeling from my last binge. I was taking one a day, and do I really need skull-splitting headaches, the soreness in every part of my body, and the sin of wasting time? Hell! The money would have me quit, Cold Turkey. SIGH.

Inspector, again, that has my stomach doing flip-flops. But while I’m FEARFUL of what’s going on inside my body, what about some online shenanigans. M Anime, she’s the potential stepmom, is worried about Google. Then there’s Norton, ISPs, and updates.

I don’t want to be awake to worry about any of this. I love sleep more than I love success, and that’s why I’m here. Sitting in bed naked because the only thing I succeed in is getting an erection. Ew. “Addicted To Love.” If you want to call it that, Inspector Echo. To her?

M Anime. You’re Goddamn Right! But someone said it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. So while I’m locked in… “Hopelessly Devoted.”

Between thinking of M Anime and Cherry together… Jane from SeeJaneGoTV showcases her incredible melons. And Jahara Jayde cosplaying as Rikku. I’m a “Creep” Inspector.

Addicted to my boys’ lives, life-givers, and would-be Milfs. My life? Addicts Up, B, V.

1599 Days Without B III, Day 1040 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 351 ~That’s Virgil, B Afraid~

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How dare I? I love my sons. One’s a memory. The other made his way into the house and hasn’t “runnoft,” yet. He runs into the room like he’ll be abandoned. If it weren’t for them, their potential stepmom, and so on. I might… “That’s Virgil, B Afraid”

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Meditation 351 ~That’s Virgil, B Afraid~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I don’t love myself, but I love you. What right do I have to love?

Braxton, point blank, period. My firstborn son, B, B III. Shall I continue? Always. Forever.

If I need define love, one word, his name, Braxton. And there you have it. As Kylie Minogue puts it, “Love at First Sight.” Hell, it was probably more for B III than me. Ha!

But Haddaway asks, “What Is Love?” Wrong or right today, here’s what I believe, beloved.

“I believe that love is the answer.” Blessid Union of Souls, seriously? Okay, honestly, love.

Love is the want, need, desire, ability, anything, and everything under the sun in Heaven and Hell to put someone ahead of yourself. I effing hate myself. But Dead or alive, I love Braxton. I love you, our children. And that’s Virgil, B Afraid.

Because I love that little MFer, too. Or at least I slipped up and said so when I figured I would die from embarrassment going to visit B’s Favorite girl and her wifey, she claimed. She claimed? Claim to love. “Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is a prize.”

Personally, I disagree with Avicii and Aloe Blacc. Love is a gift. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it. If life is a game, then love is the instruction. Have you noticed games no longer come with those booklets? Everything is online. Don’t get me started on that.

Today, all I want to know is how to wake up with peace. That’s me loving me. To have it.

Soft d*ck and clear head.

Not with you, huh… I don’t mean that negatively, mind you. I’m always hot, horny, and hard for you, my love. And you’re always on my mind. This Year’s Love or more. “Sucker For Pain”

More kids jumping on the bed. Virgil is in a household full of kitties. B III being proud of me from Heaven above. God, give me more time, I don’t have to think about myself.

I’d rather it all be about you. You are an obsession; you’re my “Obsession.” And I can deal with being the man I want to be with you. Perverted, protector, maybe even a prince, hm?

“And there, my dear Fio, you make one of Womankind’s greatest mistakes: Falling in love with a man’s potential. We so rarely share the same view of it and even more rarely care to achieve it. Stop pining for the man you think I could be — and take a good, long, hard look at the one I am.”
Darkfever

But I’m a person, a monster who still wonders why and how you might love me. That’s Virgil, B Afraid.

1598 Days Without B III, Day 1039 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 348 ~Braxton Buys Time Virgil~

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Is there ever a time not to be afraid? If I were to join my firstborn son, but he bought me four years. When I’m asleep. But I’m usually answering my boys’ potential stepmom. Their stepmom? BEING with her, I’m not fearful. “Braxton Buys Time Virgil.”

Saturday, June 14, 2025

Meditation 348 ~Braxton Buys Time Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I should have all the time in the world. Braxton’s Favorite Girl. M Anime

But Braxton and his little brother Virgil. The past and the present. But Braxton, Firstborn.

And I stole his life. Stop It! I got more than enough on my plate today. Soon to be literally.

Only, I want to focus on Sunday, January 31, 2021. 1595 Days ago. And I wish I could say that’s why I was crying today. The past few days, I’ve woken up in tears, Lunalesca.

Braxton’s passing shouldn’t serve as relief from that. Yet it buys me time every now and again, so I don’t dwell on life. When did I start referring to it as ‘life’ rather than ‘existence’?

Lady Lunalesca, most days, I would prefer neither. But who would remember my B III? And Virgil is here too.

This brings us to today. You wonder why I’ve been focused on George Orwell’s “1984.” M Anime, my Julia. And here, Lunalesca, I have created my Ministry of Love. Present.

“‘Julia! Julia! Julia, my love! Julia!'”
1984 by George Orwell

Someday, maybe. But that comes later. Today is the U.S. Army’s 250th Anniversary. It’s Trump’s Birthday. FDT!!! It’s No Kings Day. I wish I could get all political Luna, truly.

My present, though… I’m going to see Braxton’s Favorite Girl and her new pretty wife. Girls Just Want to Have Fun. And while she’s Braxton’s Favorite, his aunt, and damn near a sister to me. I’m afraid not of her but of everything. I’ve had 1595 Days to find courage.

Am I brave yet? Have I published a book? Did I make a buck? Nope!

My future, It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on… M Anime. Seriously Lunalesca! TMI!! But “She Drives Me Crazy” being so “Sexy.” What happened to the love songs?

There’s time to do it all, with my Day Job being what it is. And M Anime, aka Julia, aka Braxton, and Virgil’s potential stepmom; she’s working her heart out to come and visit me.

Braxton bought me time to find her. And who knows. Braxton could have wanted a human upgrade. I’ve said it before; I figured he would be reincarnated. He’s not Virgil.

Another Braxton in my future. If M Anime/Julia and I; if “We Found Love” in a hopeless place. That’s my present, hopeless. And to escape FEAR… Braxton Buys Time Virgil

1595 Days Without B III, Day 1036 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 346 ~Virgil’s Everything Everywhere B~

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B was grounded in the present. The warmth of Grandma’s Hands. My sister’s purse… No. And cuddled up to his Favorite Girl’s yabbos. Then I had to explain the birds and the bees jargon to him. Uh “D*cks and Vag*nas. Yet Virgil’s Everything Everywhere B

Thursday, June 12, 2025

Meditation 346 ~Virgil’s Everything Everywhere B~

1593 Days Without B III, Day 1034 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m sorry I’m late. My mind has been “Everything, Everywhere All at Once.” Movie references?

I’m late, and at the same time, it’s too early. But at least I haven’t been crying over you, B.

Not in this universe, at least. Half the time, I’m sweating up a storm. I have to walk your little brother. I’m worried about his health. Didn’t the Doc say that he’s okay? His teeth?

That’s another reason I’m sweating, “For The Love of Money.” And no, Braxton, I haven’t been around the Day Job all that much. But that doesn’t mean Virgil’s life has been any easier. The thoughts that must be running in your brother’s head. FEAR? Uncertainty? And if I told you everything that’s scaring me these days, my son. Again, Everything, Everywhere All at Once. We wouldn’t talk about your stepmom.

You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, that is. M Anime. But I might have to start calling her Julia. Do I know any women with that name? Cowboy Bebop codename Julia.

Honestly, Braxton, I’ve been thinking about Julia from George Orwell’s novel “1984.” She is my Julia, and I’m Winston Smith. Or at least I feel that way in body and spirit. But again, I’m not crying. If anything, I’m ready to leak a whole other bodily fluid. I know… Gross!

Not something you want to hear from your old man, your best friend. Your brother.

However, Braxton, your worst FEAR could be realized. Ain’t a woman alive that could take my Braxton’s place believe that. Dear Mama, more like Dear Braxton, always and forever son.

Then, why was I late? And what do I intend to do to make it right? I can’t fail again.

Nope! Let’s not go into the moral ambiguity of your Euthanasia, or I’ll start bawling.

Though, for the record, I’m sure there is a universe where you level twenty. Seriously? Braxton, I can see you watching over your siblings while Julia and I… Well, M Anime might not like me using that name, but I’m thinking about starting a playlist of all the songs she sends me. I’ll call it “The Red Sash” again from 1984. But my Julia, geez!

Building a life with her, with Virgil. A life where “I’ll always see you soar above the sky.” Faith Hill, Braxton? Virgil’s Everything Everywhere B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

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Would I rather have… *Olivier Martinez Impression* 100 MILLION DOLLARS! Or my Braxton alive and well. Virgil’s happiness. And all the promises of their stepmom? How about Jane? What about all the time I’ve wasted in life back? Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

Meditation 345 ~Don’t B Wasteful Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Since the critic wants me to be clearer. In English… I ended Braxton, joined MAGA, and wasted time.

Well, not so much the joining MAGA bit. But we’ll get to that Inspector. It’s still effed up that every time I FEAR everything is breaking away, I have to ask, where is my son.

Braxton’s on the Rainbow Bridge, paradise, a box on the nightstand, and some of his ashes are in an urn pendant. I hope some of him is left in his bed. Have we discovered cloning?

No! Because I’m wasting time, and that leads me to MAGA. Do you remember when Elon Musk, the DOGE effers, and the MAGA asshats were asking for workers to share five accomplishments for the week? I’m not a government employee. Though I identify as a Sith. And, at times, share the Empire’s ideals. Dark Side.

But this isn’t Star Wars; this is real life. My life at forty, and what am I doing, my Inspector?

  1. Mourned my Braxton’s passing.
  2. Seen to Virgil’s needs
  3. Texted B, V’s Stepmom
  4. Blogged and “written” daily
  5. Read two harem novels

When you look at it, it doesn’t sound so bad. Side Note: “I fixed” the laptop’s audio, or so I hope. Anyway, what makes me a horrible human being is that none of the things on this list made me a dime. And that’s what I need more than anything. Not love, lust, a life.

“For The Love Of Money.” Excuse me, Inspector, I got a bit distracted by Jane from “See Jane Go TV. Talk about cannons, melons, yabbos…

And don’t I have my own woman for that? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. See, that’s the other thing that makes me a “Bad Man.” Geez, Inspector, I’m not R. Kelly evil! And nowhere near Trump! And as always, “FDT.” What’s evil, Inspector?

Honestly, what’s done in the love of others is not a waste of time. It depends in a way, hm.

I love my furry boys. Virgil? Again, I consider him Braxton’s Bro. Virgil keeps breathing.

And M Anime? As The Spinners sang “Could It Be I’m Falling In Love.” No moment with her is ever wasted. You ask me, “Could You Be Loved.” By my boys, my Boricua (M Anime), and my books for some bucks. Don’t B Wasteful Virgil

1592 Days Without B III, Day 1033 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 344 ~B A Minute Virgil~

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I’m not a minuteman. No disrespect to the founders. While I’m here, FDT, eff the Jan 6’ers, eff Buzz Windrip and his Minute Men. Eff Article 5’s Moral Militia, and eff the NFFA. I’m a “Sixty Minute Man” for love. And my boys. “B A Minute Virgil”

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Meditation 344 ~B A Minute Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I hope you do. Virgil doesn’t. I send him downstairs, but if I don’t follow.

Abandoned. Virgil feels as though I’ve abandoned him. Like father, like son. That’s 2-V, ha.

And he feels that at twenty-eight. Well, four. But in dog years, he’s in his twenties, so he’s, in fact, a man. And what, and I am forty? A man. Your man. Husband, a father.

Honestly, I want to be a Tru Rider… “A strong survivor, a real provider, a Tru Rider, that’s me.” Oh, you know I’ll go get a motorcycle and join up with the “Biker Boyz.” Hm.

And that’s what I feel like. A boy. I was thirty-six and bawling like a baby when I lost my firstborn son, Braxton. It’s been a minute. How many minutes have there been since Sunday, January 31, 2021. Math, baby…

That’s something I leave to you. I would be more than willing to live by Gus Fring’s word, “A Man Provides.” And I would work forever and a day to take care of our family.

There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Being afraid. Every minute, every second. FEAR.

I don’t fear clocks or time. I fear I’m wrong that I’m to blame “The World Is Gonna End Tonight” or in the next five minutes. Do you remember when I told you that’s how I dealt with everything? In five minutes, nothing would matter, and I could let everything go.

“I ain’t got time, leave me alone
Ain’t that much time left
I’ve got to funk you now
Chronomentrophobia”
Chronomentrophobia

“Jeezu,” why can’t one of those things be FEAR? Our sons and daughters, sleep and sex, my love. Those moments, minutes, make me fearless.

And I lie here trying to believe tomorrow will be okay. Staind’s “Outside” is better. Beloved, music makes it better. Or at least I can’t hear everything that terrifies me.

Mornings spent here in our bed, love, reading on harems, humans, hellions, hot S&M sex.

Moaning along with you with every effing filthy, freaky fantasy that we can conjure up. Have I mentioned how much I love you? And that I’m happy you’re mine. Happiness…

Momentarily slip up. Me being happy. Ask me to “Be Not So Fearful.” Finding love.

“Be not so sorry for what you’ve done
You must forget them now; it’s done
And when you wake up, you will find that you can run
Be not so sorry for what you’ve done.”
― Be Not So Fearful

Memories of Braxton guarding me as I lie upon this old mattress. Awake and alive.

Making our children happy. Those are the moments that make me smile. That makes me…

Me. Be A Minute, Virgil.

1591 Days Without B III, Day 1032 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 341 ~Love, See Braxton, Virgil~

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Love and fear’s commonality? You don’t have to look too far to find them. Fear has the advantage. Braxton’s gone. Virgil is trying. And M Anime has potential. But for fear. I need only open my eyes. I need a dictionary. Love, See Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, June 7, 2025

Meditation 341 ~Love, See Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have nothing to FEAR. And how much does “The Normal Heart” cost nowadays?

I had to mention 2014’s “The Normal Heart” during Pride Month. I’m not MAGA, Lu.

I’m not frightened at the mere sight of Gay people as they are. Lesbians? Lunalesca, if we get into that subject, we’ll be here for a few days. And speaking of those few days, 1588.

I continue to mourn my firstborn son, my Braxton. I swear, I need to make one of those character lists like Logan Jacobs does for his “Backyard Dungeon” series. Or I could publish one of Braxton’s books and wouldn’t have to explain him over and over again. I mean, what’s one dog’s Euthanasia? Would it mean more if I had a heart attack, Lady Lu?

It feels that way when Virgil goes for his check-ups.

I’m reminded that my heart doesn’t remain broken. Or is it? I shouldn’t constantly feel…

Well, on the verge of breaking. “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.” And no, Lady Lu, I haven’t seen it, ok. My cowboy flicks of choice are 1993’s “Posse,” Sinbad in “The Cherokee Kid,” and the classic film “Shane.” And how did we get in on a few gunslingers?

Anyway, the bad is losing my Braxton and realizing Lady Lunalesca, my heart was broken.

So what’s good about having a heart? I think Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom, M Anime.

Potentially? As Lykke Li put it, there’s the “Possibility”. The way my heart stops… Beats… whatever, when I think of her. M Anime keeps a guy pumping the right way.

TMI? Well, “I think that she knows, think that she knows” that someday I may be “LoveStoned” over her. A particular part of my anatomy is hard as a rock for her. No doubt about it, Lady Lunalesca. But that leads us to the third part of the equation. O-Face…

Seriously, I was about to make one this morning for her as a video. Thinking anyway. But while I was “Day Dreaming.” I wonder if she does as I ask, “Close Your Eyes And Wander.” And way before that, there were memories of B III and the needs of 2-V.

Anyway, I try to define my lust for a woman, loving Braxton, liking Virgil. FEAR needs no defining. Every day, everywhere. Love, See Braxton, Virgil.

The cast of Characters today:

Braxton Barks Bradford, aka B III, aka Firstborn son, aka B. Born February 13, 2005,* – Died January 31, 2021. Deerhead Chihuahua. Most beloved son.

Virgil Vivi Bradford, aka 2-V, aka Second born son, aka V. Born October 20, 2020 – Adopted August 13, 2022. Mixed Breed Chihuahua. Braxton’s stepbrother. Would be, Protector of the realm…

M Anime, aka Madam Anime, aka potential stepmom. “Love” interest. Protector of kittens. Loves gardening and all things natural. Health-guru. A friend of many years.

1588 Days Without B III, Day 1029 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will