Tag: Breathing

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

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When was my last truly peaceful sleep? Any afternoon when B sat at the corner of the bed, keeping my fears at bay. V tries. My last piece of… Um, my last woman. It was before B’s Favorite Girl got married. Such a time. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

1656 Days Without B III, Day 1097 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, these days, feels like The Long Walk. That’s an appropriate book for you.

I wish I could have read it to you, Braxton. But have I even cried for you today, my friend?

I’m not sure. Let’s say I was leaking a different kind of fluid. First off, Eww! Secondly, no, I didn’t… Not really. You had your Favorite Girl with your Aunt. I have mine with you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She was feeling pretty naughty when I got up.

I know, I know, B. Can I stop talking about Daddy things, and especially Aunts or ants, for real? My eyes are like a pair of aching feet. Say what now? Up and down from the buttons I press to the wall outside, looking for those buggy bastards to strike again. I swear B III.

“Just make this go away.”
“Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile by Staind

“Don’t look down
Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground
And if it gets hard to focus
When you’re driving almost at the speed of sound
Feeling nowhere bound
Remember what I told you, and don’t you dare look down.”
― David Ryan Harris (2003)

All I want, Braxton, all I need besides you, M Anime’s yabbos, or Coldplay’s Yellow.

“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin, and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so”
Yellow by Coldplay

Seriously, so I’m supposed to be Neo now? “The One.” Don’t forget, that was your name for a couple of days. You were my little Neo, well, my sister’s before you decided to jump onto the bed and dig into a plate of Waffles. Or was it French Toast? And then you became Little Pancake. I must be hungry. That bag of Cheetos from the Day Job has me ill.

“Deus Ex Machina: What do you want?
Neo: Peace.”
― From The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Honestly, your little brother pulls the same move. When I’m eating, he cuddles up with me with hope. “He’s My Son,” as Mark Schultz puts it. But that’s like comparing my sister and me to our Old Man. The Favorite.

I bet her house isn’t crumbling into pieces. And she’s not sitting somewhere watching for Carpenter Ants. Jeezu, am I right! No, I’m scared, I’m terrified. And I can hear you, Little B, Be Not So Fearful. Unfortunately, terrible nights lead to effing mornings breathing.

“Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me fly.
Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me shine”
― Jeymes Samuel

“Woke Up This Morning,” but I didn’t go all Tony Soprano. Again, I was staring at everybody else’s Yabbos, and then your stepmom sent some pictures sans her clothes and:

“So now, what should I do?
I’m strung out, addicted to you.
My body aches, now that you’re gone
My supply fell through.”
Akira Yamaoka

Pieces of the old me, Braxton. But I never liked who I was. Virgil and M Anime do try B.

But you were the wall, and I fell. I failed you. And now you’re my road of The Long Walk. I go, I crumble, wanting this. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

“I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me, and I walk alone.”
― Green Day

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 043 ~B’s Sense Wins Virgil~

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The only real doctors I see annually are my Eye Doc and V’s vet, formerly B’s. And I see on this day, Saturday, August 13, 2022, I became a father to my secondborn. Virgil Vivi Bradford (Archie) aka 2-V. Yet nothing makes sense. B’s Sense Wins Virgil

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Journey 043 ~B’s Sense Wins Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I got Virgil. Adopted, Rescued, Saved. That’s not a sin, though. No, the sin is I’m stuck here.

Inspector, I have so many sins. I “published” Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” X/Twitter has been reminding me more than Amazon. And that’s not reason enough for me to stay. To honor my firstborn son? It took an effing Carpenter Ant Invasion, Echo.

How many days have I been sitting at the Dining Room table losing this conflict?

Inspector, M Anime’s Birthday is coming up, and I have no money to get her anything. “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby” The Carpenter Ant War, Inspector. Eff Me! And Eff MAGA and FDT! When was the last time I had a decent paycheck? Run to father? Eff!

Inspector, I’m a Dad, and today is Virgil’s Gotcha Day. So what did he get?

A dead man. We are The Walking Dead. And if Virgil wasn’t here? Touch, sight, taste, and sound. “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Inspector, considering my age, “it all was bullshi*t.”

You have FEAR to thank for that, Inspector. Do you remember what Four told Tris:

“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up.”
Divergent

Exactly Inspector. It’s what I wanted to explain to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, a few days ago. I’m up all night because besides her impressive Yabbos. FEAR.

I’m exhausted. I smell the chemicals in the air of all the poisons I’ve been using in the battles. Virgil could use a bath. I can spot an effing ant from yards away or a cracking foundation. I’m washing my hands. Can’t taste my food because of my stomach. Silence

How do I explain that to M Anime? B was telling me today, Monday, August 11, 2025, how I’m going mad. Duh! I believe my dead fur buddy is talking to me beyond the grave.

“And even though you passed. Going on four long years. Still waking up late at night, crying tears.” I shouldn’t be singing R. Kelly, but it’s true, Inspector. Terrified, Mourning.

M Anime can ask the simplest thing: How are you? How was your day? And I told her I could lie. Say I’m fine. That’s what men do, right? Because saying I’m Afraid today and tomorrow makes no sense. But being with her makes sense. Being with Braxton did. Being good to Virgil does. Loving myself? B’s Sense Wins Virgil.

“Inside of me
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
I’m only a man lookin’ for a dream
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hoo, hoo, hoo
It’s not easy to be me.”
Five For Fighting

1655 Days Without B III, Day 1096 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

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I’m a “published” author. I work retail. I wish I were an exterminator. I got a woman who wants me as a husband. We want to be parents… Someday. I’ll always be B and V’s Dad. Mr. Clark said he only needed to stay black and… Anyway, B Stays Put Virgil

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

https://a.co/d/dKxDhhB

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And where does that love go? “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Haven’t seen that movie…

Do I want to be on our couch or love seat right now? We’ll get to that. But how am I? How is my day? Um, anywhere but here sounds nice. I’m not talking about you or where I’m working right now. If anything, it’s in my own skin. I feel like Agent Smith, love.

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it.”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

That’s not posh, polite, or politically correct. Anything sounds better than being a MAGA Cracker Hat. Anyway, where would I like to be right now? I’m eyeballing the ground now.

Honestly, the back porch is dirty. The dirt, wood, and Carpenter Ants, where B isn’t.

No, his ashes are on the nightstand. And your husband is trapped in a vet’s office on Sunday, January 31, 2021. This shouldn’t be scary.

Being a man. Being alive. Breathing. Breathe in, Breathe out. If FEAR would follow suit.

No, my love, FEAR stays where it is, like Cancer. It grows, and I don’t have the money to fix it. Hell, I don’t have money for more pesticides, woodworking, or even a power wash.

And I shouldn’t talk about Cancer. Am I that eager to join Braxton and leave his little brother Virgil? And what about you, and those two-legged puppies we consider children?

I have to stay put, but that’s not the truth, is it? A husband, a father, and a man moves. Forgive me for sounding like a Cracker Hat, but I’m starting to see the appeal of homemakers. But I’m failing to protect our home, love.

And I wouldn’t blame you for going all Nelly Furtado “I’m Like A Bird.” But to quote a man in a hat, hopefully not a Cracker Hat. What it’s not like I’m looking up politics:

“You belong here… with me.”
― Christof, The Truman Show

Staying. If only my Old Man had kept his pants on, I could have stayed in Hell where I belong. But now there’s E-Day, “Existence Day.” The second worst day, next to when B died. You and I have spoken about expanding our family. Where do I belong, my love?

Inside you. I can hear the other two-leggeds go, “eww, Dad!” If I could only stay that, my love. But a man must be many things, and scared isn’t one. In your arms. In a box. B Stays Put, Virgil.

1654 Days Without B III, Day 1095 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 039 ~Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil~

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“We are fighting a war. Our enemy is not human. And we are losing.” If I could tell my past self that, would I give up the nearly 16 years I had with B III? I didn’t learn his bravery or pass it on to his brother, 2-V. “Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil.”

Saturday, August 9, 2025

Journey 039 ~Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if I were a MAGA Cracker Hat as well… What I’d do? Fumigate, Fornicate, Fail

Honestly, I don’t need a billion dollars for any of that. I failed my boy. I failed Braxton, Lunalesca. And what about his little brother Virgil? Another morning sleeping, Luna.

When it comes to fornicating? Well, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, isn’t here yet. But I got caught up with Margaret Qualley in the film Sanctuary this morning.

“When I tell you. Not before. You’re gonna come inside me. But I want to tell you something first. I have an app on my phone, and it tells me when I’m ovulating. I’m ovulating right now. And when I tell you to come, you’re gonna come inside me. You’re gonna do it, and you’re gonna make me pregnant. And I’m gonna have the baby.”
Rebecca, Margaret Qualley, “Sanctuary” (2022)

Would M Anime ever say such a thing? To a man like me, that’s good for nothing that I can’t even capitalize on this moment. The thing that brings us together today, my dear Lu.

Fumigation? One more thing I’m failing at. It’s what had me rushing just minutes ago.

Last week, I told you what STUPID was. Today, let’s focus on being SCARED. FEAR.

EFFING FEAR! Every moment, every minute, and every muscle. Every day! I can tell you with utmost certainty that if it isn’t tears for Braxton, then the tears are for me. Even worse, Lunalesca. The tears are for fear. Tears For Fears… Not my favorite band, but Everybody Wants To Rule The World. Mad World, ain’t it. You know the line that explains my bed.

“And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had.”
Tears For Fears, Mad World

And how long will my bedroom remain a safe place when I can’t even defend Braxton’s yard or a little shed? The only reason I’m not crying right now is that I’m too sweaty and all of the chemicals I keep spraying. These EFFING CARPENTER ANTS! Braxton was one for inside or outside. Virgil thinks I’m going nuts. Idiot? Cowardly?

The virtues of being a Cracker Hat. I instead call myself a scared little boy than one of them Lunalesca. Is it time to call my Old Man and admit that his son has failed yet again? And I have no money. Every day it’s a new FEAR, and I’m drowning in it, Lunalesca. Breathe!

Carpenter Ants, Woodshed, Trash, Chemicals, Old Man, Money, My Book (My Turn To B III), Virgil’s Health, Norton, Day Job, Car, Phone, Neighbors, Time, Braxton. Lady Lunalesca, there is no ending to the FEAR. It’s The Long Walk, and I have to outlast everything, and for what? SPOILER: Ray Garraty survives. Lunalesca, Ray keeps walking.

I’m walking, I win, I wish. Ask, “What are ya buyin’?” Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil

1651 Days Without B III, Day 1092 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

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Standing before God? Please! I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. And the only thing I’ve ‘manifested” besides bringing my boy back is B and V’s potential stepmom liking me. Having to face her, my boys, and the man in the mirror, Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

1649 Days Without B III, Day 1090 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Myself? I’ve cried. I didn’t get paid. Been humiliated. But allow me to be official:

To General Braxton Barks Bradford:
Here on the front lines… The Dining Room table overlooks the backyard. Our lines are holding steady. There has been no trace of the Carpenter Ant enemy in days, General. Though I am reluctant to claim victory. The Captain and I… Your little brother, Virgil.

We remain armed and ready to battle the invaders. Vigilant and prepared, all is stillness.

Yet the toll has been significant. A few inches of the shed door have been annihilated by the Carpenter Ant menace. Several more inches are heavily damaged. No casualties to report amongst the brave who fight to maintain your territory. Though both Virgil and I have received bites from our daily walks and skirmishes from those six-legged freaks, B III.

“We must meet the threat with our valor, our blood, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human (and dog) civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!”
Sky Marshall Dienes, Starship Troopers

To Manager Braxton, Of Braxton’s Savings And Loans:
I know it’s been weeks since I made a deposit. It’s these times, Sir. And with the recent war effort… Not in Gaza, or the war the MAGA Cracker Hats have declared against the American people. I mean the war in “my” backyard, literally. Well my Olds backyard, anyway. The point is, I have been pouring resources into simply holding on B.

Much like Tom Waits singing you gotta “Hold On.” Or Luther from “Detroit Become Human,” I am holding on. And I ask for your patience and for your perseverance, Braxton.

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on
Tom Waits

“Hold on just a little while longer
Everything will be all right.”
Detroit Become Human

The strength you showed as you faced the end, Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Euthanasia. I’m trying… be the body, not the shadow, hold space.

To Braxton, my firstborn son:
I would deny myself before I deny you anything. If you knew how many times I’ve sung the words of Mark Schultz’s song, He’s My Son. “Let me take his place somehow.” I would have taken your place, Braxton, without question. If anything, I should have followed “long ago, long ago, long ago.” You gave me nearly sixteen years of your life as a soldier, the one who held me accountable, and as my best friend. My little Braxton Barks.

Now I sacrifice everything for “family.” I care for you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. And keeping Virgil alive, cutting off subscriptions to save money. Effing WWE channel changes! Anyway, I sit before you today. Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 036 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Pa~

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I’m the “Last Of My Kind,” said no Ant ever. I haven’t seen one today with Virgil’s walk and all. But I’m not clapping for him or any victory. If I were a “strong survivor, a real provider… a Tru Rider,” for my boys’ stepmom. Braxton, Virgil, A Pa.

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

Journey 036 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Pa~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I’m sure all of Hell is applauding. But as for my arrival. “How To Save A Life”

Virgil is still here. Well, I assume so. “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” And today is Monday, August 4, 2025. But I’ve been living on Sunday, January 31, 2021. You know what the Klingons say, “Today is a good day to die.” But “Here I Am,” because I have to work. One day of the week… That’s rich. A blessing and a curse.

Inspector, if I were finishing Braxton’s book, “My Turn To B III.” But I want to give myself a round of applause for showing up late to sit at the dining room table. Seriously, Echo.

It’s not like I’m getting paid this week. More weapons in my war against the Carpenter, Ha. Ants, Jesus, whatever.

I haven’t seen a Carpenter Ant all day, but the day isn’t over yet. It’s 3:30 PM, meaning I should have been at the table at 1:00 PM. Too busy putting my digits around my “Enormous Pen*s” thank you Da Vinci’s Notebook. But the moment I clap my hands, E.

Victory? The wood is still destroyed. I can’t pay for that. How much did I spend to fight the good fight? I cut limbs from a tree. I sprayed chemicals until my arm twisted, Echo.

As for the GOOD Lord, “Footprints In The Sand,” indeed. My existence has been nothing but The Long Walk. Am I Ray Garraty? Braxton would be Pete McVries, while Virgil is Stebbins. Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom would be Jan then.

M Anime, my Jan, Julia, if we’re talking 1984. And with her mind, I could place her in any number of Hentai. She’s cheering me on, but she’s not clapping. Too much work to do.

“Him and I,” like the G-Eazy song. That’s what she wants from me. And afterward… Inspector, I can hear the clapping of a crowd. The future? Wedding, Kids, Fame, Fortune.

But “If Only for One Night,” there’s a different kind of clapping. And Virgil’s paws against the door; if no Ants have chewed through it. And Braxton covers his eyes.

Inspector, my Ma’s hands take care of my Grandma, and “Grandma’s Hands?” I should ask. And my hands. I’m not clapping or “Praying” like Kesha. For Braxton, Virgil, A Pa.

1648 Days Without B III, Day 1089 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

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I shouldn’t have to rely on FEAR to get me out of bed in the morning to look at a wall outside like I’m one of the MAGA Cracker Hats watching the border. But my boys live here. Their potential stepmom wants to visit this winter. “B Leaning On Virgil”

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You’re my shoulder to lean on. Or should I sing “look over your shoulders, honey!”

“I’ll Be There.” But I’m not Michael Jackson. Hell! I don’t have Neil Bimbeau’s bank.

Honestly, how much can one make in the “HaremLit” genre? Enough to survive and for the family. And I’m still leaning heavily on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” Well, if I ever published it. I’d cry about it, but that’s one of the reasons I ignore your advice of “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Seriously, I would rather cry in your lap as I told Braxton yesterday.

The only way to make my wife wet. Braxton and Virgil don’t need to hear that! But I would cry on Braxton’s shoulder? Excuse me, his Scapulohumeral Joints. And Virgil?

He’s leaning against me, keeping me upright like Pete McVries.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s The Long Walk. First, am I back on that again? I saw the second trailer, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough paper for September 12th. Secondly, isn’t Braxton my Pete McVries? Virgil is more my Stebbins. You, my love, are Jan.

Everything you had to offer me. All of yourself. And I just passed by. Don’t I trust you, my love? Don’t I want you? I am as adamant as I am about wanting children. I’m not one to laugh much. Oh, I do! But the live part. More like the creation of life. And love.

Broken heart and all, “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby.” The Five Heartbeats. You, Virgil, our three two-legged kids. My heart was Braxton.

Carpenter Ants don’t have hearts. I have that in common with my GREAT enemy, hmm.

Speaking of which, I’m leaning on the “Spectracide Terminate Termite & Carpenter Ant Killer AccuShot Sprayer,” and the recent cold snap to protect the house. This is only the second day that I haven’t spotted an ant scurrying out of a hole they made, love.

I’m a man, a husband, a Dad, I shouldn’t be leaning on you. Well, except in the throes of passion. “After all, you’re my Wonderwall.” I can’t even keep the walls of our home up.

“If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do.”
― Far and Away 1992

I lean forward in killing BUGS, BUGS! I lean back for your favorite position, love. I lean left against MAGA Cracker Hats. You’re my right hand. B Leaning On Virgil

1647 Days Without B III, Day 1088 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

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It took a week for ants to destroy the house. I was seven when I humiliated myself on E-Day. When did I discover sleeping pills? When did my maid decide she was done? B was euthanized four years ago. Why can’t I take off? Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have stock in Star Wars, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. Today’s word: “BUGS!”

Sad, right? I am so sick and tired of being sad. The only question is, what am I crying about today? Don’t worry, Lady Lunalesca, we’ll get to the sick part. Yes, I’ll always be sad about my little boy, Braxton. But as I sit here at the dining room table, my eyes are shooting daggers at the wood the Carpenter Ants chewed through. I think about Braxton barking away.

It wouldn’t do much good, like all the products I bought yesterday to exterminate the ants. So much so, I forgot to buy things like water, peanut butter, actual butter, etc. As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel STUPID.” STUPID is sad, scared, and sick together.

Lunalesca, I don’t want to be sad anymore. But Virgil…

Scared? You’re damn right, I’m afraid, which is why I’m sitting here at the table, going out to spray anytime I see a speck of black. I might as well join the MAGA Cracker Hats demonizing black and brown people. Again, for me it’s “BUGS! BUGS!” It’s like something out of Helldivers II, and this is the Massacre of Malevelon Creek. A little late to the party. To think so many months before Lunalesca, I wanted a PS5. Effing STUPID!

Now I’m thinking of saving my ass from my Old Man when he sees this. What’s My Age Again? I’m old enough to have an effing workday, fix a fence, and hire people to stop the Carpenter Ants from destroying my boys’ home. But breathing…

Sickens me. I am sick, Lady Lu. The Walking Dead. And not one bug bite has been enough to release me from the mortal coil. Careful… AI has been dinging me for my ideas lately.

But you don’t know what it’s like, Lady Lunalesca. My STUPIDITY. The FEAR. A cure?

My son, of course. Braxton gave me courage I didn’t know I had. Saving, Protecting.

Where’s Braxton? A box on the nightstand and hopefully somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil’s sleeping on his pillow. Thankfully, he’s bug-free. But this building…

Lunalesca, home? Invaded. And I couldn’t sleep until around 3 this morning. The idea of sex with M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmother. Taking off. She keeps me awake and alive. Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

1644 Days Without B III, Day 1085 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

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Ants and “High Hopes.” Forget the plants; they chewed through the bottom of the door. B III’s Favorite Girl, his “aunt,’ has High Hopes for me. But my real sister—she’ll be an aunt. If M Anime and I “Marvin Gaye” and get it on. B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

1642 Days Without B III, Day 1083 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up right on time, and I’m still late talking to you. So today?

Buggy and sad. I did cower under the covers longer than I should. Sunrise was at 5:58 AM, and I wanted to be up at 5:45 AM. I wasn’t. I’ve said a few times this week that your Dad is a coward. Why can’t I just be lazy? As a matter of fact, why can’t I just die, B III?

So I cower and can’t die, so what’s left? “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” But again, I got started early. As soon as I got out of bed to walk your little brother. Only I wasn’t crying about him or you. Your Favorite Girl, your aunt, ain’t here. And neither is your and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Though she texted. Porn doesn’t bug her. Yay!

First off, EWW! But give me a woman who wants it rough like Ariella Ferrera and ‘dirty’ like Tsubaki Miyajima from Saimin Seishidou. It’s how you get two-legged siblings, B.

What about your little brother, Virgil? I didn’t forget to check him for bugs today.

However, what about the rest of the house? I don’t have to worry about giving him the talk about the birds and the bees. Uh, yeah. Your brother has no balls. So why do I?

Seriously, ants are destroying the house. Is that why I was crying? I look at what has become of your territory, Braxton, and it’s more like you’re the father and I am the son today.

Denethor and I’m your Faramir. You couldn’t be so cruel.

It’s one of the traits I’m glad you didn’t inherit from me. My cruelty and indifference mean that I don’t give a crap. My cowardice. “Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!” That wouldn’t be you, Braxton. It wouldn’t be M Anime. How can I tell her like Zapp, “I Want to Be Your Man.” And at the same time, “I am lucky if I learn to read and write.. Where I live, you must first learn to stand and fight.” To be a “Superhero” like New Power Generation sings about. But I’m a “Blankman.” How can I eff M Anime, be a father, and have a family? Your aunt would be proud. Ants should die. I’m crying. And bugged!

B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

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Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, and Hulk Hogan are all gone, Lucky. Wow, that’s harsh, but Five For Fighting said, “It’s not easy to be me.” And my five? Braxton, Virgil, me, M Anime, and B’s Favorite. And how many Ants? Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I let Carpenter Ants eat the house. Well, my Olds house… The house they bought me. A man…

And what kind of man am I? I’m not Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, or even Hulk Hogan. I’d like to say that I’m better than any MAGA Cracker Hat, Inspector.

However, don’t I still watch the WWE? That makes me an effing hypocrite, doesn’t it? And I’m as yellow and red as those tights Hogan would wear. Yellow because I’m a coward. And red? I’m angry at myself for being a coward. What do I see in the backyard, hm?

“Why them Biker Boyz wear yellow?”
I said, “‘Cause they scared!”
They said, “Soul Train? Why do Biker Boyz wear black?”

I said, “Because they want to be Knights!”

–

“That’s my secret, Cap: I’m always angry.”
Bruce Banner, Hulk

All that green, Inspector Echo, and in that green are Carpenter Ants. Or under the foundation, wherever they are wrecking my Braxton’s former stomping grounds.

Inspector, this was my Braxton’s home and now Virgil’s. And my Old Man is going to smash me. M Anime?

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. If she knew, I mean, really knew the coward that wants to smash her… Safely and consensually, of course, we’ll get there.

But not if there’s no house left. I’m not man enough to defend it. I’m not man enough to fix it. No, I’m sitting right here on the loveseat where my makeshift family once resided.

Me, my Braxton, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Virgil met her, too. And she loves him.

Inspector, I could love myself if I were Professor Hulk. But I’m more Hogan. Do you know why Marvel’s Hulk is my favorite? I would rather be Black Panther, Iron Man, or have Captain America’s morals. Anyway, for me to always be angry. I must be fearful. And really STUPID!

Be Not So Fearful. I’m effing terrified to open the back door but not to make love to a woman. And speaking of a backdoor, what about “My Girl” and The Temptations she offers? Didn’t I say sometime this week that we were having discussions about Hard and Soft Limits? If I’m going to be her first… Well, nearly everything. She wants to explore her backside as well. The Succubus Series… Anal. Honestly, that will be a first for me, too. But while she’s going all Shakira “Underneath Your Clothes.” I’m scared to be from underneath the covers. I’m praying. Inspector, I promised not to do that after B’s… Euthanasia. And speaking of which, Echo.

Sorry, I had to check Virgil for bugs. Smashing everyone’s lives. Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

1641 Days Without B III, Day 1082 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will