Tag: Breathing

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

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Stop and catch your breath. There’s the scent of my Braxton sitting on my head. There’s Virgil that has crept up. There’s the sweat from the Day Job… No, that’s FEAR. And is that M Anime’s perfume? Only in the Winter air. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But with the billionaires I know, a lobotomy is free. Only it shouldn’t be. Nothing is.

Eric Vall’s books aren’t. I spent most of last night reciting one in my head to get back to sleep, Lunalesca. And speaking of books, Backyard Dungeon 18, Pledged To Him 2, and Alas, Babylon… Both the book and the saying. And where the Eff did I get ten bucks!

Nowhere, Lady Lunalesca. As a matter of fact, I won’t be getting paid next week.

Lunalesca, I sit here wondering. No! I know why I didn’t leave Braxton to such a fate as starvation. Am I starving? I have money in the bank, but it’s nowhere near enough. That’s like saying I have Virgil here, but he’s not my Braxton. Was that a dig? I could use a Snickers. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

I swear, effing Pop Culture! Or should I go on a rant about MAGA? Eff MAGA! FDT! I need to catch my breath. Lu, I’ve needed to catch my breath since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I would have given it to Braxton if I knew he could have survived. Breathing!

“Out-standing! Did he have the balls to die there?”
Jarhead

Besides ending my son’s breathing, the second worst thing I’ve ever done is draw breath. And my days are spent trying to rectify that mistake. Why do you think I slept so late today? There are so many things outside. “The Long Walk.” If I had ten dollars to waste, I should have bought “The Running Man.” Do I really need more Stephen King, Luna?

FEAR is everywhere and always chasing. But I keep going.

And that’s another reason Virgil and I are a match made in Hell. As I went to pick him up this morning to keep him away from bugs, Virgil spun around me like a tornado.

Lunalesca, it was the bat I carried that scared him. Virgil obviously took a beating in his previous life. And then he ended up in this Hell with me. V had to keep breathing, Lu.

And since I won’t drown in my tears. And FEAR can only take my breath for a second, what else is there? Yabbos? Eww! But hear me out. I would love to be smothered to death by Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime’s Big’Uns. But that involves breathing till Winter. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

1630 Days Without B III, Day 1071 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 016 ~Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law~

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I spoke with B and V’s stepmom the other day, and I introduced her to “BioShock.” But I’m not talking to the man in Washington, the Vatican, or Moscow. I’m talking to my “lost” boy, a woman I never touched, and myself: Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law.

Thursday, July 17, 2025

Journey 016 ~Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law~

1628 Days Without B III, Day 1069 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What about me? I object to that question. I plead the fifth. I want to…

You “Make Me Wanna Die.” That’s me talking to myself, B. And it’s why I despise that question coming from people. Did I have a good day? More like, how are you? And there are only so many times I can say I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” So I’ll lie…

“Yes, yes, I lied, I’m a writer, I give the truth scope!”
A Knight’s Tale

But how will I lie? Effing MAGA! FDT! Do you remember Braxton? You saw me through Trump’s first presidency. Hell, the country was nearly overthrown on Wednesday, January 6, 2021. But you had a vet appointment on Friday, January 8, 2021. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, you would be dead, euthanized, and no more. But I’m Still Here.

And this is no Treasure Planet. But like MAGA’s Cracker Hats, I’m changing the subject.

How am I doing? Did I have a good day? I love you like pancakes, but I’m “Just A Man.”

Yeah, a man who’s woken up with tears in his eyes for a couple of weeks. Why? B, I’m “ALIVE,” “I Feel So ALIVE!” But I’m not the Capital Kings, Pearl Jam, or Meat Loaf.

Speaking of Meat Loaf, that’s my safe word. Eww! What, Braxton, do you and Virgil want a stepmom or don’t you? Should I survive until the winter and meet your potential stepmom, M Anime? She and I have plans. Yet I wanted to talk to you, my son, before her.

I’m not hiding anything from her, Girl, “I Care ‘Bout you.” I’m there for you. That’s your Dad being romantic.

And isn’t it “Ironic?” Don’t you think? Those two individuals that I care for… You are my firstborn son, and your (stepmom) M Anime, whom I care so much for. You both would be better off if you had never met me. I love you, and I REALLY like M Anime a lot. Her yabbos, (drools). Almost six likes and Carter Wilson said in Finding Carter, “Just so you know, when you reach SIX “reallys”, you’re TECHNICALLY supposed to switch over to “love.” Ironic, right?

Braxton, I can’t explain it to you, and neither can Alanis Morissette. But explaining myself?

I forgot to check your little brother, Virgil, for bugs. Life is a soup, and I’m a fork. I have 10,000 and need a knife. Where’s Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law?

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

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Failing as an American? Become a MAGA Cracker Hat. Relish in hatred and ignorance for those not the “correct” skin tone. Be broke. I’m nowhere near Cracker Hat dumb. I like Yabbos. All colors, shapes, and sizes. I Need A Dollar. My Change, B, V.

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t made a dime this week. And much like MAGA preaches. I’m an able-bodied American. And Black…

Effing Cracker Hats would send me to “Alligator Alcatraz” without question. As if that scares me now. Another one of my sins is not caring about my brothers and sisters.

Inspector, I’m ready to go all Land of Confusion for “my country.” Less Genesis, more Disturbed. But no. Today and every day begin and end with my boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons, my children. The ones that made me change from… WHATEVER, into a friend, a father, and someone that can’t afford to Eff up. So where’s my money?

Inspector, There, “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.” I ended my boy. Braxton isn’t here. Yes, yes, Euthanasia, but a bag of ash and another of beige/tan fur. And then I rescued Virgil. Second Born.

Braxton was a dollar, and Virgil was the change. It doesn’t make sense. Do I think I’m funny? Also, I should quit being a meanie. MJ said this about making the world a better place.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
MJ

B’s Favorite Girl would be proud of me for knowing this from the Supernatural series:

That’s what hell is. Forgetting what you were.
Malleus Maleficarum

And that’s it, Inspector. I’m a “Bad Man,” Inspector, nowhere near R. Kelly bad. And I’ll never be an effing MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’m a bad person trying real, real hard to be a good one. Only I can’t save myself, so why did I think I could save my kids, B and V?

Braxton wasn’t a choice. B jumped onto the bed one morning, chowing down on waffles.

Speaking of jumping into bed…

What about “My Girl,” Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? Again, unlike The Cracker Hats, I know, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S.A. Eff Tony Hinchcliffe too, Echo.

But the WWE likes him, and I still watch wrestling, which is one more sin of mine. But I’m not thinking about all the yummy Yabbos in the women’s division. Give me Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, and especially M Anime. Am I a cheat, too? In the spirit of Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ahem, I like big breasts if you cannot guess. You other brothers can attest… Seriously, E.

How much have I paid to see a girl’s copious cleavage, talk about my c*ck? Or make me come? I’m broke. I Need A Dollar. Better? My Change, B, V

1627 Days Without B III, Day 1068 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

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It’s not some “Summertime Sadness…” (Cherry would appreciate this.) And I would say it’s a “Cruel Summer…” (Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom will visit in the Winter). Anyway, Hell seems to be full-time. But ice water? Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil

Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I tell you that all the time. Braxton. Virgil? Our two-legged kids. But a drink.

I could use a drink. No! “I could really use a wish right now.” There are plenty of “Airplanes” in the night sky. Or there will be with Effing MAGA in charge. But FDT, two times! Besides, I don’t want to talk about the Epstein List. We, being parents, Love.

Today I have you, my beautiful wife. There’s Braxton. There will always be Braxton, as he told me yesterday, “You’ll Be In My Heart” from the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, wherever.

I checked Virgil, who seems to be bug-free. Maybe a few bites, but nothing I can see to pull off. And speaking of pulling things off. Being a good dad to our two-legged kids. Trying.

With all my blessings, I wish I could stop crying.

Oh No, “My Love!” These aren’t happy tears. Not like the Sia song from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. If anything, the tears help wash off the blood of my firstborn furry son. But I wasn’t crying for Braxton. Not today.

Would that make it better? I had around seventy days just for that after he died. As I worked on Braxton’s novel, I was reminded of the Assistant Store Manager. Eff that guy! Effing meathead. Anyway, he moved me from the Denial stage to Anger. Freaking Vampire, Zombie, Effing TICK! A parasite is what I am. Maybe I’ll catch something and join Little B III.

Enough bites to bleed out. But “I just-just got-to-got-to-got-to” keep the blood pumping, don’t I? I’m saving Virgil, I love you, and a man provides.

“Here Comes Success.” I should toast to it. But then I wouldn’t remember. Forgetfulness and Ignorance. Joy and Pain, as Frankie Beverly sings on. Did you know? I didn’t, Love.

You didn’t know I would be such a crybaby who sweats bullets, bleeds for my boys. And my sexual appetite. I wish I could keep it in my pants. Have you looked in a mirror?

“Because maybe. You’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all. You’re my wonderwall,” thank you, Ryan Adams. But seriously, “My Love,” “Remember when we first met. And everything was still a bet, in Love’s game. SIGH, I spit out songs. Filling you up, sweating for THEM, crying for B. I’m left. A desert. Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil.

1626 Days Without B III, Day 1067 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

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Be Not So Fearful. I wish. I fear my book… No! Braxton’s book will not be a success, and what does that mean? I’d join Braxton, but don’t I have to look after his little brother Virgil? And their “stepmom” needs a house to visit. “FEAR ME, B, V”

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I’m not Bone Crusher. “I ain’t never scared.” And he ain’t a billionaire. And me?

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Thinking I could live without you by my side.” Oh, what would my little Braxton think of me? The usual. “My Daddy’s weird.” Anytime I would pick him up to dance. “May I Have This Dance?” I haven’t asked Virgil that, Lu.

Every day after “The Long Walk,” I check his little face and all over for any sign of ticks. Do you remember when that was my greatest fear? It was only a few days ago.

Lunalesca, what I fear the most, though I didn’t know it at the time, is watching my son, my Braxton, die. Talk about being scared to death. And I was too STUPID to follow him.

Lunalesca, what do I fear?

I haven’t been so scared since “The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident…” Should I turn to OnlyFans again? I have around twenty bucks there. And speaking of medical “emergencies,” I haven’t been this scared since I had to get my ears irrigated. It was more like somebody “ran a train” on my right ear. A Bukkake scene on my ear, Lunalesca.

Effing waking up this morning, I had a severe case of FOMO, so I was on “X” cutting up scenes from Saimin Seishidou: The Case of Miyajima Tsubaki. Why does it frighten me not to come first… Bad choice of words? And we’ll speak about M Amine soon, my Lu.

What has been scaring me the most, to quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need a Dollar.”

“Are you scared? We’re all scared. You’d have to be crazy not to be scared.”
Major Chip Hazard “Small Soldiers”

My boys and I are all small men. Again, a bad choice of words. I lifted my Braxton so high, I sent him straight to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. I carry Virgil high above the green, trying to avoid bugs and keep him from joining his brother, Lunalesca.

With any luck, it will be a long time. “And love is a long, long road.” I expected Braxton would have silver fur when his time came. First, second, third, the “Love of My Life.”

Will that be playing when I’m with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? I don’t know, but she’s shared how she wants to “make love.” “Come Together,” right now. Over me. If I survive FEAR. FEAR ME, B, V

1623 Days Without B III, Day 1064 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 009 ~To B Late, Virgil~

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I Need A Dollar. And you’d think I’d have plenty. I’ve had the Day Job for over a decade, and how much did I make this week? Um… If my words pay. The story of my boy. The dirty things to his potential stepmom. You’re what! To B Late, Virgil

Thursday, July 10, 2025

Journey 009 ~To B Late, Virgil~

1621 Days Without B III, Day 1062 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As usual, I’m late, and I do apologize, Monsieur B. What excuses do I have?

I’ve been chatting away, you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I haven’t slept well. And when I stop and think on “life” B I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

How long has it been? And I’m still not late. I wanted to take a nap a few days ago, but I was much too busy pulling ticks off of your little brother. It’s “Dirty Work” B. And not in the Tony Warren type of way. And speaking of yanking, wanking, and spanking. I know. Eww! Your Daddy is gross between M Anime, Cherry, and @SeeJaneGoTV” Yabbos. Braxton, you might be late for dinner, wanting to cuddle those dirty pillows.

“Dinner, Breakfast, and Lunch.” I’ve had a hard time getting Virgil to eat anything. SIGH

Did I mention I’m not sleeping as I listen to him cry all night? Or is it me? I don’t think I’ve cried today. Yesterday I was crying over your book. But it wasn’t because I “Miss You Much.” Janet Jackson? I do miss you, Braxton, but remind me to send this to M Anime.

She and I are always trading songs. But with everything going on, I’m not sure I’ll even make that lovers’ rendezvous. I would never deny you or her anything, but remember how long it took you and your favorite girl to get along? And now that your Dad has one.

I think you would like M Anime. But I also enjoy eating, and even if I published on the 25th…

I don’t think I can. Of course, you would throw The Pillows song “I Think I Can” at me, B.

Funny how words can have different meanings. Pillows? Do I mean where I cry a lot? Or where Virgil lies right now. The band? Or on the chest of the girl I pointed out to M Anime? Even she admitted that Jane has quite a pair of melons. She and I make quite the pair. This is why she could be your future stepmom. Virgil? Who knows his little mind?

But you didn’t want puppies, and you kept your “McNuggets.” M Anime might one day tell me that she’s late. Do you need more siblings, Braxton? “I Need A Dollar.” Bills! To B Late, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

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Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day. I should follow M Anime’s example. Hell, I should follow my son B’s. How about if I “Finish The Story.” No. I’m more like Virgil. Sit down, shut up, and shake as someone else saves me. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How? FEAR woke me up this morning instead of Braxton’s furry little butt. That and Cherry’s Yabbos. Not!

“I don’t like it here. I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

“Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to (Braxton).”
The Shawshank Redemption

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
The Shawshank Redemption

I should stop wishing to see those great big mountains of hers. Or that I could say “I been to mushroom mountain. Once or twice, but who’s countin’?” “Only God Knows Why.” I can’t afford those blue and yellow “Purple Pills.” A drug habit, dearest Inspector. Virgil needs drugs more than I do. Now that is a lie. But it didn’t stop me from putting his meds in macaroni and cheese. I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day. I mean Tuesday?

Inspector, if you’re keeping score, that’s a Gokusen reference, D12, Kid Rock, and “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anything right, to forget about how I failed Braxton and I’m failing his little brother Virgil. Tick City!

Yeah, who gives an eff about the bees when I’m pulling two or three ticks off of Virgil, Inspector. Not removing, washing, or combing. I went medieval on those buggy effs. But my brave little Virgil took it like a G. If it had been Braxton, I would have lost a few fingers. Hell, a whole hand. But what choice was there? Veterinarian’s trip, Inspector.

Didn’t I say I woke up to FEAR? If it wasn’t Fido… I mean Virgil. It’s my finances. We’re not going to make it, are we? I swear I got another spam email about some app. And I “dreamed” I got something from the bank. Cherry needs some bucks, euros, quid, whatever. And Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime…

She’s “Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day.” Why? Because she wants to come and see me… Her man? And I wish I could break out into Zapp & Roger’s “I Want to Be Your Man.” How? Yesterday, I was trying to save Virgil from the creepy crawlers, and I didn’t have money to get him a tick bath. I was thinking I’d have to buy every tick removal tool I could find. But didn’t I buy M Anime a (sexy) wardrobe? Because Inspector…

Seriously, “All I wanted was to see her naked!” And I have. And if Cherry showed me her Yabbos. I bet I wouldn’t be so broke. I am, I’m scared. And having M Anime in bed. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

1620 Days Without B III, Day 1061 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

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This ends week one on this Journey. What do I have to say? I’d rather say nothing. But M Anime and I are tempting each other. Braxton says nothing because he’s still dead, and I’m not writing. What’s in Virgil’s little head? “Virgil, Tune Of B.”

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But will we skip a “Love Song” today or two? You know me too well.

My ears hurt. Well, my head hurts. Trust me, I know when something’s wrong with my ears. I still hear the silence my firstborn son left behind. Is it scary that I’d joined B III? “Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, if you ever need me, I’ll be there.” A blood oath to my son. More like Bloodsport. But as much as I want to lie here and watch movies with you, My Love, there is a reason we’re speaking early this Monday, July 7, 2025, 3:00 PM.

Beloved, “Any Time, Any Place.” Dancing with you to Janet Jackson vs me crying over Braxton. That’s a whole other conversation. Not that I would ever deny you, My Love. Today, I would deny myself. “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

If I don’t tell you, who would I tell? “Well, I feel STUPID. But it’s something that comes and goes.” I haven’t been good over the last couple of weeks on this Journey we call life. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today. To get through this thing called life.”

The more I try to cut the music off, the more that comes through. There is too much noise, My Love. I can handle the smell of replacing Virgil Vivi’s potty/training spot. In and out.

They call that breathing. And I can’t stand the sound of me breathing at all. What about the silent tears coursing down my face? It’s either Braxton or my exhaustion. And effing technology! Every beep and boop has me jumping.

Fireworks. They annoy V and B. They explode by the house. I’m ain’t “Never Scared.”

But the noise. Not at all like your pillow talk. Or should I go ahead and say your dirty talk? And the sounds your mouth makes when you’re doing other things, to me… For me. Your moans, whispers, cries, and screams. It’s like I’m John Seed, The Power of YES. It’s your heartbeat I care about, your breathing. When I know you’re going to explode.

So I won’t go getting “Tired Of You.” I’m tired of myself. I want to quit crying over Braxton sometimes. Or listening to Virgil’s munching and crying about whatever’s wrong with his eating. I want to quit digging my own grave. Virgil, Tune Of B

1619 Days Without B III, Day 1060 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

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So, what are my plans today? Hell! I was asking AI the same question, or more to the point. How can I publish Braxton’s book by the 25th? Because, as my uncle would sing, “When my money ran out?” He has Jesus. I had B. And V… Between B-V Lies FU

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… It’s funny, I keep saying that. Does it look like I’m having fun? Eff, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, that comes later. And I’ll be with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

I’ll probably be crying out for her the way Winston Smith called for Julia, Lunalesca. Again, my “Wildest Dreams” come later. And yes, I have a Taylor Swift fantasy. “Creep.”

No, I should be listening to “Boys Don’t Cry.” So, what had me crying on this lovely Saturday morning? As usual, Braxton is still dead. I’m worried about Virgil; he’s eating, but what’s eating him? I pulled a tick off his ear yesterday. Remind me to invest in alcohol, my Lady. Both the type to throw ticks in and the kind you drink, since I’d like to forget about Norton Antivirus. No one’s saying, “Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy.”

Now you know I don’t do HAPPY. If you asked me what would make me HAPPY, my most simplistic answer would be NO FEAR. Give me one day when I’m not in tears and afraid, Lady Lunalesca. Can I bring back the dead? Have B barking, “Be Not So Fearful”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

So I look for what’s funny and fun, it’s Saturday. “Every Day Is Exactly The Same” to me, my Lady. Sunday, January 31, 2021. I hate the weekdays, and I haven’t thought about anything good about Sunday until M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Texting her and trading pictures with her sans our clothing makes me feel a little less effed. Ironically we’ll be effing “All Night Long” someday.

Braxton kept me from effing myself in more ways than one. My furry son, Lunalesca.

This brings us to today. As I was walking with Virgil Vivi today, I thought our journey was less fun. I have to watch out for spider webs and keep the several million bugs off of him. Silly Virgil, EAT!

And despite all this, I made it to the Dining Room table for the second day in a row, Lu.

So I was thinking, what do I do for fun? Music, Movies, and Manuscripts. Oh, and look at the mammaries. M Anime’s, Cherry’s, and even Jane’s from “SeeJaneGoTV.” I swear, I’m “Just A Man,” one of many remarking on her Yabbos. But she liked the comment. Seriously. Mentioning Yabbos, only…

Like Squid Game’s Gi-hun, “I’m F*cked” Between B-V Lies FU.

1616 Days Without B III, Day 1057 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 002 ~So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil~

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In my wildest dreams, I picture my son in his final moments saying, “It’s my turn to fly. Father, be with me tonight.” What I think he said was “Why can’t I stay?” But probably, “Can we pick up some wings on the way home?” So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil.

Thursday, July 3, 2025

Journey 002 ~So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil~

1614 Days Without B III, Day 1055 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you get to where you’re going safely? What, right here by my side today?

Forgive me, but it takes a concentrated effort to even remember what day it is. Fireworks, notwithstanding. I swear Independence Day is like Armageddon for your sort. Virgil wasn’t too thrilled last night, and we haven’t even made it to the fourth yet. And me?

Braxton, you remember when I would sing to you, “Don’t look down.” Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground.” I know, I’m no David Ryan Harris. I’m not Marina either. All Teen Idle. But I’m still “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” I’m not singing that to Virgil. Your little brother has been hearing me mutter the word “EAT” all this week. Does that remind you of anyone? Your last day? Your last meal? And today…

Well, seeing as how I have to go and buy more dog food. Yes, your brother is eating, B III.

Anyway, maybe it was that terrible Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese I had yesterday. Braxton, I swear I thought I was going to get food poisoning. But this morning I had a hankering for some ranch wings, with that WILD sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings.

Braxton, you’ve been gone four long years, and I can’t remember if you were here when I discovered that. I want to remember the good things about you, about us. That’s something I’ve been saying a lot to you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

We’ll get to her. Now, I’m hungry and trying to forget my humiliations at Walmart.

There was a time when Walmart had a new guy, and I walked away with a half-filled bucket of chicken. Why? I don’t have the courage that Oliver Twist possessed.

Please, Sir, I want some more.
― Oliver Twist, Olivier!

More wings! More feathers in my cap! More cheese, cash, C.R.E.A.M. Dollar, dollar bill, y’all! And how am I paying for 2-V to eat at all? I’m not letting him join you today, B III.

“What do we say to the god of death… Not today!”
― Game of Thrones

You don’t want him following you either. Or me, for that matter. Especially with M Anime making me believe “I think I’ve found myself an angel. A pretty girl who makes my life complete.” Kenny Lattimore? What about Prince’s “The Most Beautiful Girl In the World”? Braxton, you know food and flight. But “Girls, Girls, Girls…” So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad