Tag: Future

Meditation 005 ~Virgil And This B~

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“That thing unnerves me. I think that one day, artificial intelligence is going to kill us all.” – Queen Ramonda. Or how I feel about having a smartphone. But I’ve done worse things. Ask my boys Braxton and Virgil. Oh right… Virgil And This B.

Saturday, July 6, 2024

Meditation 005 ~Virgil And This B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… I have a better chance of seeing Braxton again in this life or the next. Lunalesca…

B, as usual, stands for my son, Braxton. I swear he woke me up this morning around 1:20 AM. While you’re wondering why I’m calling you so late. It’s only 6:57 AM. I also planned to write some more about M Anime’s Nightmare. I’m up to 2700 words right now.

But you know me. Anytime I’m feeling down… well, worse. I think about my Braxton. Lunalesca, if I can exist without my son, I can “Endure and Survive” anything. My son B was my anchor, my reason to keep going.

These Meditations are proof of that, though this is only the fifth one. Braxton has been here since I first came to this place. He was here for Lessons. He died during the Gospels. Virgil “arrived” during the Sagas. So, the Chronicle year was the one I was alone for.

What does any of this mean? I lose myself when speaking about my boys, Lunalesca.

That’s the point because today is a bad day. Comedy comes in threes, Lady Lunalesca.

Buttons, Broads, and Bucks, Lunalesca…

So a couple of days ago, Lunalesca “Girl, I’m spending my dimes, wasting my time.” It was in the Regal App. Or at least that was the plan. But now it’s not working for me. Today I really wanted to see MaXXXine. I even set up an alert for it. But the app won’t work. I was going to get a free popcorn and a soda, too. But if I go now, that’s thirty bucks.

And it doesn’t solve the problem that the phone sucks, and after Everything with Dish…

This B… got me Smokin Out The Window. I’m going to need a new phone. Okay, and how am I going to accomplish that? Even if I could ignore my Old Man. The expense, Luna.

Braxton sent this song to me this morning. My boy will always know my buttons. However, I am still trying to figure out what to do. I’m thirty-nine, and I have no clue. Lunalesca, please?

Everything! And I do mean Everything is making my head hurt. And my heart, Luna? It remains broken. I’m struggling. I’m lost. Still in bed…

While M Anime was having her nightmare. I dreamed that Braxton was standing on my chest. Again, he was waking me up. My son wants to bring me back to life. But was I ever?

Fearing, Failing, and effing about. But Virgil And This B

1252 Days Without B III, Day 693 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 004 ~We’ll B Shopping, Virgil~

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“Attention all shoppers…, Attention all shoppers,” my boy has passed. Well, he did three years ago. You should go buy Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels. It’s a great read. And I could use the Bluemart incident to shop. “We’ll B Shopping, Virgil”

Friday, July 5, 2024

Meditation 004 ~We’ll B Shopping, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And no, it isn’t about buying a new book. I’m feeling the weight of financial constraints, Sophia. I don’t have money for fun frolicking or effing.

So, another story about Braxton, then? Like how he had the good sense to go to his room when he felt the “spirit.” Virgil doesn’t share that sentiment even after 692 days. So the gate is up, and he’s been sleeping outside the bedroom since Wednesday, July 3, 2024. Ha!

I know that’s not funny. If I had the money, I would buy some books on pet training… And didn’t I say I should stop reading books on pet loss? Uh, child loss… It’s been a struggle, Sophia. Nothing new.

After reading about fur buddies, I returned to a HaremLit series. It’s Dystopian Girls 4. Again, I need more cash. The need is becoming more urgent, Sophia. And why’s that?

I’ve been writing and then whacking. Oh, and book reviews:

Attention, Shoppers, Buy This Now

I’ve never given Walmart five stars. But Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels deserves them all. That’s including the Bluemart employees. The story could have added on to them, but still… For being short, this book had everything… Yeah, just like a Walmart. Only I wanted to be in this story. Did I really say that and mean it? Yep! My favorite part was the realism of it all. I may ignore most conspiracy theories. But having worked retail, don’t tell me something like this couldn’t ever happen. And the people. Speaking of which. I know plenty of people who could get into this. It even inspired me in my writing. Though I’m more S. Wolf meets Stephen King. Attention, Shoppers…

This is the stuff dreams and nightmares are made of.

That’s one more book review down. If only I had written it sooner, Lady Sophia. But another drawback of keeping Virgil out has been that I have been all alone. Well, what about Braxton’s ghost, spirit, or whatever? And it doesn’t help that I’m listening to Satan’s Sorority Girls 3, an audiobook about The Resurrection of Christina Fry. I need to get the fourth book, but I need more cash.

So this morning, I’m up and moaning as I continue writing about M Anime’s nightmare. A raunchy, revealing romp with her. Another three hundred words. But I’m not participating in Camp NaNoWriMo this month. And even if I was, I have to go shopping today… With what money? I’m reading zero. We’ll B Shopping, Virgil

1251 Days Without B III, Day 692 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 003 ~That’ll B No, Virgil~

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No, I can’t stop; whatever this is? Whether adding another 300 words to a nightmare, someone told me about. Or no, I don’t want to go to work. I don’t work tomorrow. Or no, we are less free now. And Braxton coming back. That’ll B No, Virgil

Thursday, July 4, 2024

Meditation 003 ~That’ll B No, Virgil~

1250 Days Without B III, Day 691 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m sure your Heaven wouldn’t include fireworks. Or your Hell. I’ve been reading about Cerbie.

You know, as in Cerberus. And what about Virgil? Hell, what about you, Braxton? Sigh…

Love is a long, long road. My boys, my books, and some girl’s boo… Yabbos. This week has had plenty. And here we are… Uh, more like, here I am, B III. This Independence Day…

Well, at least you have your freedom. And what about mine? I always figured as I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved. Yes, I know you still do from wherever you are. Anyway, you were supposed to be my apocalypse survivor buddy. And if E-Day doesn’t end me… Eww! I’ll have bigger fish to fry. Are you still wondering why I would rather join you, Braxton, with everything happening? This Is America.

Yeah! There are better places to be right now. But there are also much worse. And no, I don’t want to talk about me. You see it all, don’t you? And Virgil has to live it. Poor little Virgil, B.

Only I’m too busy saying NO to everything, like being a good dad, for starters. Braxton, I’m trying to stop speaking so badly about myself. And Virgil… One of the first words out of my mouth today was, no. He was outside for twenty minutes and still decided to use the training pad. Maybe if I wasn’t saying no to trying to clean the backyard. But again, this week was hard. Look at my paycheck from last week… Twenty-Eight dollars.

And what did I do?

I said no to more hours at the Day Job. Why? Because I’m so busy trying to be a writer?

I said no to OnlyFans. So what am I on… Day Three. It’s not that you need to know that.

But it’s surprising because I said no to ignoring M Anime’s nightmare. She wrote around 1000 words. And I’m approaching 2400 words in my rewrites and edits. A horror story

No means no, but you know me and dark stories. And what could be darker than the ones involving burying fur buddies? I’ve been saying no to reading those, too. And I say, “No, I won’t give up my grief.” But no, I can’t join you either. Living? Tell me why? That’ll B No, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 001 ~Virgil, That’ll B New~

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Meditations? Really? More like complaining, crying, and talking about my… Uh, here we are in another year. I remember why I started eight years ago… somewhat. Now? Has anything changed? B III’s been gone longer. And the title. Virgil, That’ll B New

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Meditation 001 ~Virgil, That’ll B New~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? New year and all! Into the future! My love for you, family, my firstborn son…

It’ll be greater now than from where I am, Saturday, June 22, 2024. Meditations huh? Love, it’s easier in the past and the future, but what about today? I’m halfway tempted to turn on a little Luther Vandross “Here And Now.” A pledge, promise, proposal…

Braxton didn’t need any of that. How many times have I told this story? The one about my Olds moving to the new house, and I told Braxton to get in the car. That’s that!

Virgil, our new furry companion, will do that someday, and then you’ll break out all Giselle-like with, “That’s How You Know.” Well, not if I keep this up… Choosing my boys over you. Correction, Braxton, my firstborn. Because if I ever feel the same way about Virgil as I do about Braxton. It’d be new.

This is not how I wanted to start the new year with you, my love. But still 2022, 2023, 2024. And crying over my B is nothing new. Living in music. The sadness, sorries, selfishness.

Braxton is gone. Virgil is the new fur buddy. You are more beautiful. Our children grow bigger and stronger. But as for myself? When you met me, I was one man. And since I would never ever abandon my family… the one we built together. I’ll be a new man.

Someday. But it’s the present that’s giving me the most trouble. To explain it… Honestly.

Beloved, it’s the number of letters between B – V. My Braxton and Virgil. Alphabetically.

It’s the distance between PetSmart’s front door and Banfield Pet Hospital in the back. Ok.

How about it’s the length from the tip to the base… Eww! But at least you know I still want you, love. Always and forever. “The Closer I Get To You,” Baby Girl, “My Love.”

Sigh, it would be something new if I could speak to you without a piece of monologue like Sheldon Cooper used on Amy Farrah Fowler in The Big Bang Theory. If I could quit the movie lines and the music. You know me too well.

“I need you now. I need you more than ever before, before. I know the man I am is not who I should be.” Dance On Our Graves, Paper Route

Instead of waking up to the old world and expecting Braxton to be here, how about I wake up to the new world—the new existence that I promised not only my son but you?

To be a man of Meditations, not grief? To be a man who meditates on the present and the future, not dwelling on the past. Braxton’s loss. To Live? That’s new. Virgil, That’ll B New

1248 Days Without B III, Day 689 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 365 ~B To L, V~

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To this day, the Roman Empire is remembered. What about anything I have written? Anything I have done. I had the better part of the week. And before that? It’s about to be eight years. Three crying for Braxton. And complaining about losing… B To L, V

Sunday, June 30, 2024

Tale 365 ~B To L, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the last time I checked, you didn’t become a Roman overnight. Is B A Roman Numeral?

That’s a weird question to begin with. And search bars aren’t just for looking up Yabbos. But, um, you only did a little of that this morning. Being lazy, lewd, and a loser. But first…

Braxton. His absence is still deeply felt. I find myself writing his name here, at ‘The Closing of the Year,’ more times than I can count. And since this is a leap year, there’s always ‘Tomorrow.’ But you don’t want to be reminded of that, especially how I wasted all of last week. And now your week… You need Braxton more than ever. He was/is a daily necessity in existence.

Braxton, Broads, Books, and finally booking it out of bed for Virgil’s sake. And then what happens? You know what happens, sigh. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 12, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As the song goes, “I’mma give away the end. Partner, y’all about to lose.” Losing! Now, that’s a word I know far too well. But what about you? Do I have any words to inspire?

Ladies, Loot, a Little Dog?

You’re trying desperately not to lose the ladies you have. That’s why you were tempted to send M Anime your story and work on her nightmare/fantasy. You talked about A Quiet Place: Day One with Braxton’s Dear Aunt… if Braxton and my story were ending.

He should have been spared, and I should have faced whatever the afterlife offered… Was that a spoiler? In the movie, the cat got away. And… Anyway, I haven’t heard from Cherry lately. And you? You have Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 6 (Series)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And still, V needs to make the list. If it wasn’t for adding a new book to the list every week… And I am accepting defeat with #4. Since, once again, you’re about to start a new writing year. And a new month. But what comes next for you today? Do you have a plan, hmm? It’s crucial to have a plan. More than dreaming…

What can I tell you? There’s a lot. But like you were thinking with M Anime. None of it will be helpful, yet you keep lambasting this page with words. What a Loser! Stop It!

Seriously, let me try that again. Uh, STAY WOKE! And that means both politically and physically. It’s like you’ve been dreaming ever since B III. Now that is a nightmare. But I’ll appreciate your efforts.

Please keep moving forward. There’s always hope for a better tomorrow. B To L, V.

1246 Days Without B III, Day 687 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 364 ~Virgil Will B Happy~

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What would have made Braxton happy was not good for him. I could have told the vet to pump him full of drugs that would make him dive face-first into his food. But that’s not what happiness is. The dictionary skipped it. As did I. Virgil Will B Happy

Saturday, June 29, 2024

Tale 364 ~Virgil Will B Happy~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Or at least I was until I spent forty dollars on Virgil’s medication. Uh… What (BLANK)!

If only Braxton knew what that was like. What about some lady friend of mine… Lunalesca, there’s M Anime. But I still think about Cherry’s Yabbos. And that’s the thing. I tell myself that I’ll gladly pay for some woman sans her clothing but at the end of the day… Well, I misspelled healthy because, hopefully, Virgil will be with his medicine. But B had some meds of his own for his heart. And kidney failure took him from me.

So, as the song goes, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” But it’s not even that, Lady Lunalesca. And, happy? It’s just a word. A word that eludes me. It’s not getting any easier. But with my Little B III?

Whatever I was with him… I want to be that again. Instead of joining him?

I’m trying to avoid that, Lady Lunalesca. Which is another reason I bought Virgil’s medicine. Now, there’s no medicine for what I have. Sleeping pills? Do you want me to join Braxton today? I was planning on going to the movies. Strange, I’m sure, but that won’t make V happy. Ha! So we have meds, me going to the movies. A woman’s mammaries? For sure!

B had all that when his “honorary” aunt was around. Braxton couldn’t stand the maid. However, I didn’t want her standing either. Kneeling? Is that all I can think about? Lunalesca, I’m trying to find a reason to get out of this bed other than Virgil being hungry, healthy, or helpless. Happiness never factors into the equation for me, Lunalesca.

Hard, Horny, Horrified, that’s existence. Braxton Barks Bradford deserves happiness. Virgil Vivi Bradford? Their full government names. My only “sons” so far in this world.

Lady Lunalesca, I find myself in a world that doesn’t bring me joy, a world that makes me yearn for Tyrion’s wish for his Ending:

“In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock.” ― Tyrion Lannister

Even then, Lady Lunalesca, would I find happiness? If I could go to bed at night feeling proud of what I accomplished in the day. But I’ve squandered this one, and it’s only 10:00 AM. I was up at four. And what was I doing? Would I be happy if it was something productive? I’m only relieved Virgil didn’t force me out of bed. But since he was here, I could only read. So, hooray…

Naughty books, M Anime’s dreams, nightmares… Virgil Will B Happy

1245 Days Without B III, Day 686 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 363 ~Virgil, Tells B Stories~

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We ain’t The Walking Dead. Am I trying to convince Virgil of that or myself? On Monday, June 17, 2024, I’m reading about “zombies” and retail staff. The difference? One has money to feed V and me. And buy a bitchin’ tracksuit. Virgil, Tells B Stories

Friday, June 28, 2024

Tale 363 ~Virgil, Tells B Stories~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Only you know me too well. All my “good” stories are something like “Wraith Babes.” Sigh.

Because the critic will demand an explanation. AHEM! Wraith Babes comes from the show “Black Mirror.” Specifically, Season 1 Episode 2, “Fifteen Million Merits,” Sophia. It’s been a while since I’ve last mentioned that show. I know. There’s free time.

However, everything falls back to my son Braxton. But when was the last time I told you a story about him? Well, other than how much I miss my boy. And again, there’s time now.

There won’t even be a book review today because I’m unsure what I’ll be reading. Today is Friday, June 14, 2024. I’ve started reading the book, “Attention, Shoppers” by Blair Daniels. Wow! Do I miss my Day Job? Retail and zombies… I think. “We’ve Only Just Begun,” right Lady Sophia?

Sigh, for context, I know “The Carpenters” song from the film “1408.” A man trapped. But this isn’t a hotel. This is supposed to be home. It was for Braxton. But for me, the word home, much like happiness, doesn’t register any meaning with me. But where can I go?

Especially since the only story I want to tell is about how I made money. And for over a decade, that’s been with the Day Job, which I worry about. When I’m not watching TV.

My Day Job is like something out of Hulu’s The Mill or, again, Netflix’s Fifteen Million Merits. Why not add The Book of Clarence? Because I’m not a scammer. There’s The American Society of Magical… No one’s seeking me out.

Well, except for my boys Braxton and Virgil. A Ghost, perhaps? And another I should have named Ghost because of his white fur. Or how about Snoopy? Because I’m not watching Game of Thrones. All this free time, Lady Sophia and I can only see the ways to waste it.

I can tell you other people’s stories… Horror stories like 1408 and Attention, Shoppers. Ha!

And yes, I’m wasting money or thinking of ways to waste it. I mean, Blair Daniels’s book was only a buck. I want to cosplay as Bing or Wraith. Those tracksuits looked a bit comfy.

And what is Virgil going to tell Braxton? I’ll catch him in the act of communing with my lost son. Maybe. Virgil, Tells B Stories

1244 Days Without B III, Day 685 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 362 ~Virgil Writes B Papers~

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How would another dead tree bring Braxton back to me? Would it erase the worries of Virgil’s dog food receipts? And if anything, could I write enough so I would never have to step foot in the Day Job again? I promised B! But “Virgil Writes B Papers.”

Thursday, June 27, 2024

Tale 362 ~Virgil Writes B Papers~

1243 Days Without B III, Day 684 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m here. So you know what that means. I would rather be elsewhere. With you…

I’m only one note away, on any given day, B. But I’m too lazy to write a “going to join my boy” letter. Know what I mean. And I’m sure everything I’ve written would be lost online beneath you, yabbos, and the yellow of my cowardice. Speaking of which, Virgil…

Am I going back to worrying about the Day Job? Nah. I’m keeping it. But the pay is not doing me any favors. And if it isn’t the green of those dollars, it’s the yellow of training pads for Virgil. I will have to switch out an energy shot habit, for Virgil Vivi being afraid.

Shouldn’t he be? Look what happened to you? How much paper did it take to put you in a box?

I shouldn’t be so mean, B. But I’ve been beating myself up all this week. Do you remember when you would play around with your toys? I swear! Braxton, your tail or Little B would fall off when your aunt was around. Virgil Vivi doesn’t have those boy problems. Ha!

He’s only drinking and eating from your bowls. He’s using your old carpet. And your training spot? I swear he can’t aim, or he still smells you around. I’ve tried washing it several times. And for all the reasons, I brought Virgil here. One was that he could go on the paper. Was that me being lazy again? Sounds better than I heard your ghost…

Ghost stories, tales about girls, GULP. My writing is bad.

I told you I’ve been beating myself up in more ways than one. I was writing to this girl yesterday. Not “your mother” material. Anyway, I told her the truth, and you can guess what happened. With you, B, money was no object. But B, I’m frugal with girls’ Yabbos.

Only there’s food, financing a book habit, and paying for stuff with a fur buddy. Dear Braxton, be honest; would it help if Virgil didn’t have these reminders of you? What about if I wasn’t all about effing all the time because… I got 99 Problems and with some paper…

Cash, cleaning supplies, an actual copy of some book I’ve written. All these letters to you, my only son… Uh, Virgil? Virgil Writes B Papers

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 360 ~Virgil, Braxton Makes Paper~

WillLeave a comment

It’s Only A Paper Moon… Nope. According to the publisher, it’s been six years. So, the moon is very real. Moving the tides but not turning the pages of all I’ve written. About love? No, Braxton left three years ago. “Virgil, Braxton Makes Paper”

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Tale 360 ~Virgil, Braxton Makes Paper~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I wake up every day with a heart bursting with love for you. But today, my love, I also woke up with something else. Hmm…

Hope. Such mad hope. But there it is. Huh. I’d rather wake up with a fervent hope, a desire to see my son Braxton. Alive, thriving, and brimming with the joy of life once more.

I love you and our family. I’ll Always Love My Mama. I have a younger sister and two nephews. I’d only need a little paper to make a list of all those that I love.

Speaking of which, why did I wake up with hope… Do not worry, my love; despite my business leanings, I haven’t gone all out, like the characters in ‘Succubus Lord, ‘Satan’s Sorority Girls, ‘Bikini Days, ‘and ‘Backyard Dungeon. ‘ These are just some of the books I’ve been reading in my free time. Love, didn’t I say I have a lot of time to read?

Today, I woke up with a glimmer of hope. It was sparked by a dream, a memory from six years ago when I heard from that publishing company. The dream, though fleeting, brought back a surge of emotions and a renewed sense of possibility. Really?

Time has a way of slipping through our fingers, doesn’t it? I’ve spent the past three years in mourning, and I know there will be more. But please, don’t hold that against me. I yearn for a different kind of love. One that’s not confined to paper or literary aspirations. I want to be a lover, not just a lyricist… sometimes. I want a tangible love that I can hold in my arms and feel in my heart every day.

Someone You Loved… I hope someone you love shouldn’t require so much paperwork, Baby Doll. But again, with all my extra time, there is a lot of it. Now you know why I would rather look at shapely Yabbos all day. Or dream that my Braxton is watching over me.

But I can write this all down. And what does it mean to you, love?

The critic says it’s a mess. My account hints that I need more paper. Every time you hand me something to read, Darling… Well, that’s rare. But being a parent with all our children’s drawings, dealing with grades, and deciding that they want to follow in my footsteps… with writing at least. I don’t want to be their dad on paper or with our DNA. I want to be their dad in every sense of the word, guiding, supporting, and loving them unconditionally. I must.

You, love? Well, you’ve always been more of a More Than Words type of woman. You’ve been my inspiration, strength, and reason to keep going. Writing about us would be enough to put all those books I mentioned to shame. And then there’s the studio, “selling” experiences, and several cosplays. Such love for my business.

Braxton, though, you and our family. Virgil. While I’m a paperboy. Virgil, Braxton Makes Paper

1241 Days Without B III, Day 682 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

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So what’s our goal? To do our best! Nope, we got a new goal now! Our new goal…is victory! Now’s not the time for Final Fantasy X or XXX. I have a whole week to actually do something. For myself? For Braxton! For Virgil… “Virgil’s Goals Will B”

Sunday, June 23, 2024

Tale 358 ~Virgil’s Goals Will B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Remember, those who can do, and those who can’t teach. I’m sure you’re familiar with this saying. Now, let’s focus on setting some goals for you. Uh… Great, now you’re thinking about adult films featuring teachers. Eww!

(Cue Final Fantasy VIII’s The Oath) Time for some motivation…

Yes, you’re trying not to laugh. And at the same time, you’re trying not to cry. But after the initial thought of “Where’s Braxton?” And then the reminder that he’s no longer with you… Sigh. I understand Sunday will always be a tough day. Anyway, you thought of The Oath.

And aren’t I supposed to be offering you some motivation right now? Here are the facts: I’ve wasted five months of this existence, and June is nearly done. You’re approaching 40. Before you lies a solid week. You’d have even more days if I hadn’t wasted them. You only need to talk to Inspector Echo. Then, your writing schedule is clear. OH! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 016* No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Here’s something else. You know why that asterisk is there… What was I doing on Friday, June 21, 2024? But I’m not owning up to it. And apparently, neither are you. And before you go crazy: Hot Juicy Teacher, Desperate BLANK Housewives, Shusaku, Isaku, BLANK Taxi, Saimin Seishidou, Piper Niven, and FDS featuring Estella Bathory and Harmony Reigns. I swear Cherry has ruined you when it comes to fuller-figured women with foreign accents. But are you calmer now? This wasn’t the motivation I was suggesting. Unless you plan on calling Johnny Sins. Remember who you’re talking to, and listen to me. If I could give you honest advice, it’d be to give up “adulting motivations.”

Good luck with that. Good luck with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 12, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 016, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So yeah, before we were interrupted by your libido, we were discussing this week’s goals. Besides the Six Impossible Things, you have a chance at number 3 this week. Finally! This isn’t one of Braxton’s novels, but it will be a chance to start them. Or will you look up an excuse? You’re not worried about the Day Job anymore. But today… it never ends. You have to text your Ma today. And tomorrow is your father’s birthday… I understand.

No wonder you’re yearning for a release. The stress can drive you mad. And Braxton’s passing? It’s a heavy burden to bear. But soldier on.

Dealing with your grief is not one of your goals, but showing signs of living? Because existence is only a temporary goal. Show Virgil you’re better. Virgil’s Goals Will B

1239 Days Without B III, Day 680 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will