Tag: Grief

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

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It’s not a headache. It’s not B’s furry butt telling me he needs to potty. It’s not even when my tablet fell and cracked my glasses. I still have eyes… But I feel like my head on my shoulders is too much. Me? My boys? Well, “Braxton And Virgil Tops.”

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you know I’m lying. A bad night’s sleep will do that—bad dreams, aka nightmares.

My own? Yeah, because if we were talking about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, I’d be hard as an effing rock. M Anime’s dreams turn me on. She and General Xu, Boss, and Associate. And two of my biggest fantasies at the moment. Cuckoldry, Ravishment.

Dreams? The only thing I remember about my dream last night was beating the crap out of some blonde frat boy like I was Will Hunting in “Good Will Hunting.” I had to take it out on somebody. That’s not good to say, considering I am a father. Wanna-be Husband:

“All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town

Not just yet. Remember December? And now, the mid- to late week of June. Summer Vacation? Where to go, Lady Lunalesca? To the stars. Heaven. Take me to bed, Will.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If a girl ever says those five words to me, I’m putty in her hands. I swear to Braxton, Lu:

In my hands, nothing turns to putty
― Michelle Huddleson

“Somewhere Only We Know.” “In My Place.” SIGH “Just one year and then you’d be happy.” That’s what Gerry Rafferty is singing about. In bed with my Boricua or on “Baker Street?” Speaking of the street, did I forget that I have a major cash issue to deal with, Lu?

Hell, I didn’t remember to go to bed until midnight. I woke up hunched over on this same love seat. And you wonder why I felt the need to bash someone’s head in. “In Dreams.”

Or maybe I was trying to wake myself up. “I’m Black, Y’all” and still ain’t MAGA. Eff them and FDT!

Um, the American Dream? Ok, I wish I could go all Christopher Stone, Freedom Fighters:

“New Yorkers, fellow Americans… I am Chris Stone, the so-called “Freedom Phantom”. I stand before you today a free man, and I vow to die a free man. Like you, my world was shattered eight long months ago. I watched as my family and friends were tortured, captured, and killed. I have nothing left of my former life… except the hope for a better future… a better future for our children – the American dream! I, for one, still believe in that dream. We’ve read this in our schoolbooks as children; now is the time for us to embrace those ideals and stand up against the weight of Tyranny. We have a duty to ourselves to throw off our oppressors. When I look around this city, I do not see smoldering ruins… no, instead I see a sleeping army, ready to awaken. The world is watching us now… how we respond will prove our claim. I stand before you and the world today to reaffirm the pledge our forefathers made to each other, and for each of us, to protect our lives, our fortunes, and our self-worth. So I ask you now to take up arms against the evil invaders and yell in their faces that.
THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR
FREEDOM!”
― Freedom Fighters

But, Hell, Lunalesca, what did I do for Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Braxton’s Birthday? I haven’t even watched the Olympics. And didn’t I say I would look up some Black Haremlit authors? Damn, am I not a Black Erotic Author? Perv with a blog.

Worse. I’m a forty-one-year-old bum sitting on a loveseat playing Whiteout Survival, which is the thought that had me zoned out last night and waking up the way I did.

Lunalesca, I love my boys. Braxton and Virgil are tops. My four-legged sons. But crap:

“And maybe I forgot
All things I miss
Oh, somehow I know
There’s more to life than this.”
Kid Rock

Lunalesca, I want that white-picket fence, wife, family, that New York Times bestseller, my “adult studio. Braxton And Virgil Tops

1847 Days Without B III, Day 1288 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

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I wish I could say I was high as a kite or I was as high as B, wherever he is. The Rainbow Bridge? The Rainbow Road? It’s not like I can buy Mario Kart, whatever, or any more books. I’m sort of addicted to eating. “HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED.”

Thursday, February 19, 2026

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

1845 Days Without B III, Day 1286 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I know that I’ve seen “Better Days,” Glasses on. Phone on my chest. Something pretty…

Oh, and what could be cuter than B? I miss you sitting on my head. Ok, duly noted, my boy.

But I wouldn’t mind if M Anime sat on my face. I know, I know, Eww! But she is your potential stepmom. And Braxton, in all honesty, your Dad did not want to wake up.

Please, that’s most mornings. But this one was particularly bad. And the only reason your bum of a father is sitting in Den in front of the TV is because she texted. And I had the good sense not to shatter my glasses, which is why the phone was on my chest. If anything, that is a testament to how HOT she is… I broke a pair reading “Backyard Dungeon.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know, the HaremLit series from Logan Jacobs. That was one of those books I wouldn’t read to you or your little brother. But that doesn’t mean it should be burned. If I were to start burning books, it’s because I can’t afford them. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! And that brings me to today, Braxton. I’m missing you, I’m worried about
Virgil. And myself? Well, eff me too. Another reason I’m still “Alive.” But Meat Loaf?

Braxton, I couldn’t have that even if I knew how to make it. I make bad financial decisions. A lot. Like Backyard Dungeon? Why am I hitting Mr. Jacobs? I liked Backyard Dungeon. I was tired and dropped my tablet onto my glasses one day.

C’est La Vie, treat you unfairly. Like between you and Virgil. You’re both my sons, and I love you both. But fathers aren’t supposed to have favorites, and you know who wins between you and Virgil. I’m either going to Hell for what happened to you or how I’m treating him. Honestly, either way, I need a drink, a smoke, or some pus**… Gross! Sorry!

But I could REALLY be on drugs or develop a drinking problem. There’s also Obsession. I sent M Anime that Animotion tune, and if I could tell her anything, “You’re So Damn Hot.” The only time you were hotter than her is when you got baked… A horrible joke, duly noted. I ain’t right. Low-blood sugar. HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

WillLeave a comment

One night over twenty-something years ago, I could have been playing more Final Fantasy… Which was it, somewhere between 10 and 12? Anyway, we didn’t play in games. Don’t be a fool, wrap our tool. Still, I’m a father of two. Braxton, Virgil, Game On.

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Hurry up and wait? Remember who you are? “Regrets, I’ve had a few.” A little early for music…

Not if I was at the Day Job. But we’ll get to that. Today, what had me wasting my little boys’ time this morning? If I were talking about my balls, I would have said big boys. And again, we’ll get to those, too. Also, eww! Today I mean B’s memory and Virgil’s Little Life.

The name of the game is Whiteout Survival. A Forty-One-Old-Man playing an effing mobile game. Effing developers! And let’s not forget those people I told M Anime about and their wicked ways. This morning has me very (Hercules Scream) Disappointed!

Inspector, eff Kevin Sorbo, eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats and FDT! But Whiteout, right?

What a way to put that game. Simply put, I’m losing and in last place.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“In My Place,” SIGH. You should listen to me and M Anime sometime. Her place…

Inspector, I wish I could go all Dame Vaako with it, or that M Anime would one day soon, Echo. Do you remember what she said to her husband? Husband… me, am I in love…

“My place is at your side, dear husband. From here till underverse come.”
Dame Vaako

Not yet, dear Inspector. I still haven’t forgiven M Anime for Sunday, August 24, 2026. Only there’s something to be said about accountability. And when a hot Latina is saying she needs to be punished… Somehow, Inspector, I feel like Marv from Sin City saying:

“I’m staring at a goddess, she’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more second wondering how I’ve gotten so lucky… She smells like angels oughta smell. The perfect woman. The goddess.”
Marv, Sin City (2005)

With everything she wants with me, I just remember what it was like my first time, Echo. The girl was a mix of Tegan Mohr, Leana Lovings, and Lana Tailor.

Why the eff didn’t I marry her… Picture a skinny black man barely in nothing but a pair of glasses and black socks in the back of a car in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. Again, I have no quams with my body. It’s my face I hate the most. But anyway, I just received my first BJ (to make me last longer for round two), and this woman is…

Well, bouncing on my lap after she helps me get a condom on. Memories, Inspector…

And no, she wasn’t a “professional.” But paying for a woman… A Man Provides for his family. I’m broke. Life is a game. Love is the instruction. I can’t play… But Braxton, Virgil, Game On

1844 Days Without B III, Day 1285 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 231 ~Braxton Shapes Up Virgil~

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“You better shape up. ‘Cause I need a man And my heart is set on you.” I’m trying. B knows I try. How many boxes did I unload Monday… 1300? I’m effing exhausted. Plus, talking to my furry son and a smoking-hot Latina. And V? Braxton Shapes Up Virgil.

Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Journey 231 ~Braxton Shapes Up Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” which I have never seen. Tonight?

You know me much too well, baby girl. I don’t feel like crying over my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And don’t our two-legged indiscretions have friends? Am I laughing? Exhaustion.

But I won’t go getting “Tired of you.” Obsession? As if you didn’t already know… “You are an obsession, you’re my obsession.” And I’m saying, “Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on,” love. “Sexual Healing?” After yesterday? I suppose it could be worse. Day Job?

Honestly, I had cuck fantasies that you would not believe. And with my tiredness, love…

But tonight, as James Blunt sings “I Want You.” I thought we were watching a movie. Or am I getting a dirty Spanish lesson? And then there’s my thing for kimonos and Native Americans, “Suddenly.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Dirty Spanish Lessons

Mamame el bicho = Suck My dick
Doblate = Bend Over
Chupatelo = Suck It
Trsgatelo = Swallow It
Te lo voy a meter I’m Gonna Stick It In, Inside
Mas duro = Harder
No pareses cono = don’t stop, dammit

Good? I never knew learning Spanish could be so much fun. It wasn’t in high school. And when I met Braxton, I was in college… AHEM junior college. Mexican dogs and Latina chicks, Asians, or Native Americans. And I’m proud to be an American. But I’m not MAGA. FDT! It would be bad if I ever joined them effing Cracker Hats. But what’s really bad. Pretty much everything they do. And another reason why I’m so exhausted. When I’m not thinking about your pretty clothes on the floor, it’s how to buy more. A Man Provides! And I’m trying. Braxton knows I’m trying for you, for his legacy, our two-leggeds, and Virgil. But I’m not going to lie. The finances have me “All Shook Up.”

Free YouTube for all this music or Spotify. Did I say free? That is such an ugly lie, my love. All kinds of UGLY!!! Didn’t the bill just shoot up to $100 for the month? Are they serious? Double the price since we got the service. Mother efferes. Effing economy!

However, there is something even uglier. And I’m just now realizing why I “Need You Tonight.” Because I’m not good for my mental health. Surprise, Surprise! Braxton and our two-leggeds see their Dad. When you see me, I’m all “I’m Too Sexy. Hell, I’d take Virgil’s confused looks. I’m just “Some Guy” like King Ezekiel. And I’m too old to shape up, to be better. But there’s AI. There’s lying. Death? Braxton Shapes Up Virgil.

1843 Days Without B III, Day 1284 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

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An 80 is a B. Cs get degrees. And I was praying for a D on paper when I was done playing with the one in my pants. I have been out of school a long time. But my woman is teaching me about Chinese Myths and Naughty Spanish. Hot? 80’s A B, Virgil.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not if I’m not a mediocre white man who dares to call himself the president. Hmm.

Not that I can talk, my dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m the one who’s looking up, do dogs’ tongues burn on ChatGPT? All I know is Braxton stuck his tongue into a cup of hot chocolate and winced. And then he had the nerve to look at me as if I had done something wrong. Well I kil.. had him euthanized several years later. I did. 100% I believe it, Luna.

13 days shy of his 16th birthday. What a lovely way to say I love you. Braxton and I had a good life. “Him and I.” He was my little sister’s dog. And then I go and spoil it all by saying “Something Stupid,” like I love you to him. And then he’s my dog.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My son. And how did I honor him yesterday? As a matter of fact, how did I honor his little brother, Virgil? The “Tango Maureen?” The Tango Virgil. Hell! The Tango M Anime for “real…” with no regrets. Have I ever told you how hot M Anime is? I’ve got a thing for Puerto Rican girls now. Well, one particular Puerto Rican woman and one thing. But if tentacle porn ever becomes real… Anyway, what was I saying? I spent most of Braxton’s birthday… Doing things with M Anime, I should be doing today. How much did I spend last Valentine’s Day? Total? Why am I not doing that now? Is this an 80’s hit?

No, it was 1990, “The King of Wishful Thinking,” Lunalesca.

My breakup theme for her in August. Then January rolled around, and it seems (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again.” M Anime and I aren’t quite there yet. Um, she’s sure she’s in love. But I’m the guy who has been mourning his dead furry kid forever.

Is five years forever? Come talk to me on October 20th, 2026, and if Virgil is still “Safe And Sound.” Suppose everything hasn’t burned thanks to MAGA. I’m quite comfortable at 80 degrees. If I were truly in love with M Anime, I’d be playing 98 Degrees’ “I Will Still Love You.” Suppose I were a better man, Lunalesca. But I’m living on 80 bucks. Not enough for “Love and Happiness.” 80’s A B, Virgil.

1840 Days Without B III, Day 1281 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

All For Love? I met B when he was barely two months old, and stayed until 13 days shy of his 16th birthday. He passed in his own bed at the vet’s. Right now… Most days, I know I should have followed him. All For One. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil.

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

1838 Days Without B III, Day 1279 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed—things my Olds never said to me ever.

So what am I saying it to you for? Isn’t it Ironic, I blame you when I feel like this?

Like, I might die? A stomach bug, a toothache, like I got hit by a truck, and every bone was breaking after the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, and there’s drowning.

Honestly, B, I shouldn’t have made it to forty-one, but here I am wishing you a Happy Birthday. More like Welcome to Level Twenty-One! Your birthday is tomorrow, of course.

But again, who knows if I’ll live to see it. Wrong words, Braxton Barks Bradford. But if I turn the computer a certain way as I sit here in bed, I can imagine it’s you lying against my leg, and now your little brother Virgil.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Must I be so mean? If you want to see ornery, yep, that’s me getting up after puking into a garbage can next to the bed. Eww! Do I blame that Jack’s chicken? Downright blasphemy. The best legs, breasts, and thighs can be found in a bucket/box of chicken ha-ha. For me, I’d say on your Favorite Girl, Cherry, or your potential stepmom, M Anime.

Speaking of which, maybe it’s all the horrible things I was thinking about her, before, then after the breakup, and now the reconciliation, when she needs me to be the man she needs me to be. The “Only One For Me.” Yeah, yeah, B, once upon a time, it was you and me against the world. But yabbos, hot sauce…

I’m not MAGA. Being a horrible human being can actually make me sick. Or I should sue Buffalo Wild Wings for that Wild Sauce. “Put you on the highway to Heaven like I’m your Uber.” Was that BWW or Hallelujah Heaven? Hell, it’s been five years, B III, I know.

Five years since your trip to the Rainbow Bridge. And if you told me I would die with all this pain and get to join you. I’d actually consider myself blessed. I’d follow you, Braxton.

And it’s a good thing I can’t eat anything. Diddly next to squat this paycheck, and next week is squat as in zero. So, about your birthday? M Anime says I listen. You’d say Stay Alive. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil

‘It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

WillLeave a comment

Death, Taxes, and Yabbos. Everything else is a roll of the dice. What about my boys? V was cuddling up against me this morning instead of being at the foot of the bed. B is cute, with V… Annoying? I’m not so mean, but the taxman cometh. B A Tax V

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What! Telling lies about my sons? Let’s say Braxton had very few friends. And then there’s 2-V, Virgil…

I swear if Braxton’s little brother walked on two legs and spoke a word of Spanish… He is a Chihuahua after all. Anyway, people would think I’m an abusive parent. I’m busy. I can be a bastard. And this week shows you how broke I am. But abusive, MAGA, never.

Is it wrong that I don’t REALLY know who Bad Bunny is? Hell, I still watched the halftime show on Sunday. And I hear it was a million or a 100 million fans better than…

Whatever MAGA did. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and always and forever FDT, E!

Is that how taxes work? How should I know? But did I mention I was broke? And as far as this week, so far, Inspector…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, time for some real confessions: Again, I liked Bad Bunny’s show. And allow me to sound like a Cracker Hat for a minute. Ahem! My “girlfriend,” my woman, M Anime, is Boricua. She’s been teaching me some naughty Spanish… But Spanish ads are annoying.

Why, Inspector? I suppose that if I must listen, if people are going to tell me sweet “Little Lies.” Suppose I must know that I’m a loser. Tell me in a language I’ll understand, Inspector.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what Virgil is saying either. I speak fluent Braxton. Inspector, around this time five years ago, I was the one talking to his box on the nightstand. And the only word that came out was-SORRY. I don’t get it.

I don’t get me. But for around $700… Are those slave prices? Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill… Effed me. How dare he or anybody? B III Braxton Barks Bradford. Anyway Inspector.

Seriously, my account is empty, but what about my empathy? Last night, M Anime was telling me about a horrific experience she endured or almost. The fear was very real.

Inspector, Five guys? Not the burger joint, though meat was involved. I’d cut them off…

So while she shared this, what do you think I was thinking? She’s safe and sound. Those S.O.B.’s my sadistic tendencies for all involved, them and her, and then “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and my deviance. Which is worse? B A Tax V.

1837 Days Without B III, Day 1278 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 224 ~B’s House Party Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t I say something about “Bloom” canned energy last week? I didn’t need an energy shot today. Not like I could afford it after a fake STUPID Bowl party Sunday. And today, five years ago, my B came or went home… Whatever. “B’s House Party Virgil”

Tuesday, February 10, 2026

Journey 224 ~B’s House Party Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Love and Marriage. But I’m trying, baby doll, to be one for Love and Happiness.

So “happy” in fact that I almost forgot what day it was. The things I think about as “I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time.” Really? Kid Rock, today? Eff!

Seriously, the guy’s STUPID. But then again, I’m the one looking up how many pallbearers are needed. When I carried my firstborn son, my B III, out of PetSmart… Eff!

There was a box in a little blue bag from “Pet Angel.” And some of his ashes are in a pendant that I wear even now. Always and forever. Well, since Wednesday, February 10, 2021. And here my Braxton remains. As I brought Virgil in from our walk today, I thought, “Our house is a very, very, very fine house.”

Braxton and I. What about his little brother? What about our two-legged brood, my “Sweet Love.” I’m sure your boobs/Yabbos had much to do with that. More like my “Salty Chocolate Balls.” What? Would you rather have me crying for the rest of the day?

Honestly, I don’t think I have cried for Braxton today. “A House Is Not a Home” without him…? Am I daring to question that? Wait, aren’t we supposed to be talking about your big uns? Sure, but as much as I love them. Hell, I’m in love with the “Shape of You.” “All of Me” loves all of you. But why am I not “Dancing In The Street?” I’m discombobulated.

“I Feel Everything.” Can I feel the radio dial, hmm?

I wish I had earlier, but now, I feel like I failed a Math class sophomore or junior year, got jailed that ONE time, left Navy basic training, worried about me while B lay dying, failed him, and carried him out in a bag all rolled into one. And is there more, my baby girl?

With everything, I’m hot, hard, and horny. And I want my balls between your boobs.

Being an effing husband, can I not say I want to slam my balls home inside my very lovely wife? When the house is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’. But today my dearest heart…

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That. I should mourn, grieve, and throw my pity party. Always… B’s House Party Virgil

“It’s a celebration, and everyone should invite me.”
Number One Spot
— Song by Ludacris

1836 Days Without B III, Day 1277 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

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To be a preacher, a porn star, or both as a politician. I wouldn’t be penniless. But I chose the gift or curse of prose, poetry, and simple words on paper. “In God We Trust,” it says on the “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.” “Penniless Braxton And Virgil”

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If only, SIGH. A penny for my thoughts? I’d say people aren’t that STUPID. But then…

MAGA, Nazis, and old pervy men. Hell! Men period. Like I told M Anime yesterday.

Last night, to be specific. My dearest Lunalesca, “Someday,” I may be doing that, doing her, in person. And I hope I’ll be able to say to you that “you were always there for me.”

Okay, enough of the “Sugar Ray” lyrics. One more thing I’ve been doing with my morning, Lady Lu. Music. I’m still paying for Spotify, Hulu, and the Internet in general!

A hundred dollars. I’m all out of patience, money, and I’m “All Out of Love.” Tell that to Braxton, Virgil, M Anime, and eff, the “Man In The Mirror.” So a penny for my thoughts.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I’ve been singin’
Funny when you’re dead, how people start listenin’.”

“If I Die Young.” Forty-one jamming to The Band Perry.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Well, I’m scared for one thing. And fear doesn’t pay. Adds, multiplies, and divides.

Am I talking about myself or MAGA? One more reason to hide inside. Well, as long as I have a place to hide, that is. How much did I spend last night? Every penny matters.

Ironically, pennies are gone thanks to MAGA. Is that irony? Or isn’t it “Ironic” as Alanis Morissette would sing? I have no clue, but it’s effing weird. I go for walks with both of my boys. Virgil on a leash and Braxton’s ashes around my neck. The woman of my dreams lives hundreds of miles away. While any woman close would rip off my balls.

I’m complaining I’m broke, but seeing Cherry’s yabbos. Um broker.

Indecent Proposal as it is. And what about my woman? What about Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Should I say Virgil’s, too? He only met her once. “I’ve seen Better Days,” Lunalesca.

That’s what my boys would say if they could talk to you. Another bit of irony. I think that I’ve talked to Braxton more when I put him in a box than when he was lying next to me, like his little brother is now. Or I watch the Olympics, which is based on promoting world peace in a country at war with its past, its people, and promotes hatred among everyone, everywhere. Effing MAGA. I’d rather see fictional fights (wrestling) than the stupid bowl.

But I’m spending what on food! Penniless Braxton And Virgil

1833 Days Without B III, Day 1274 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So, if life is a game, then love is the instruction. B, His Favorite Girl, V, and M Anime, who loves me… And still I don’t effing love me. But maybe I’m not in the negatives. Oh right. Minus Braxton and Virgil.

Thursday, February 5, 2026

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

1831 Days Without B III, Day 1272 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I ask that every day, when you would emerge and when the house was empty.

And it was for around 559 days if the math is correct. But you know your Dad and Math, B III. Wasn’t I still in college… Ahem, junior college, when we first met? And according to my Math, you were supposed to outlive me. Come on, with my track record. Also, something I said to your potential stepmom yesterday. First off, Eww! And second History. But for now, there’s Math, and why this subject came to mind: the bank, Braxton.

Someone has their ones and zeros confused. And if it’s not that, look what time it is, Braxton. 4:40 AM? Madness. Your brother is here. How many hours has he just been lying here, Baby B? And one day I’ll be without him too. WTF!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m always talking to you about language, so I apologize. And we’ll get to that too. Or maybe Science, Biology, how about P.E.? Eww! I should stop being gross. Although I don’t see nothing wrong, with a little “Bump N’ Grind.” This brings us back to History and the fact that I’m once again… Infatuated, Obsessed… Something with M Anime.

Braxton, you know I’ve been thinking plenty about you. The 31st, you “left”. The 4th: “I See Fire.” The 10th: “I retrieved you.” The 13th is your 21st birthday. Historical.

Honestly, I’m doing better than MAGA remembering. Except I‘m not doomed… I’m not Baby B. Call it “Faith of the Heart,” But I want to believe in M Anime. And your brother’s love and life.

Virgil’s life. I don’t know how he stands me sometimes. He talks to you, Braxton…

Let’s move into the paranormal. Why don’t we, hmm, B III? Am I Frankenstein, as I keep bringing you back? I could be the Umbrella corporation, which would make you Resident Evil… No, that’s me. Also, it’s effing February! But your spirit, specter, your sentients…

Hell, are we going to get into AI? “She Blinded Me with Science.” M Anime? No, “Son, what you don’t understand, my words might never explain.” What, her yabbos? Ha-ha!

“Don’t Look Down” on those Braxton. Just like Pizza Girl’s ass from Ian and Kye’s Pizza… Your Dad is just… A freak? A “Creep.” Yet love remains. Yours, V’s, and M’s. Minus Braxton and Virgil?

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad