Meditation 364 ~I’ll B Back, Dad~

All I wanted was a burger. It wasn’t like I could eat it. My stomach was doing flip-flops because I was so scared. Scared of what? A T-1000 is coming for me and Virgil. I haven’t felt safe about technology lately. If B III were here. I’ll B Back, Dad

Monday, June 30, 2025

Meditation 364 ~I’ll B Back, Dad~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… It’s not like I ever left you… Ok, alright, the food here is fantastic, so let me indulge some.

It’s not McDonald’s fries, which is why I’m here a day early. And the bad place you have to go to when you wake up. But I get to see it, ok, because I will be with you always, Dad.

“The Force will be with you, always.”
A New Hope

Star Wars? Jedi? You and I were always more like Sith Lords when it came to those movies. But as I sat beside Virgil this Sunday afternoon, he was so scared. And you were, too, Daddy. I mean, as frightened as I usually was when you took me for car rides. The benefits of being dead. I know that’s not funny. Do you want to call me a Force Ghost? Do you know what I really felt like? It was more Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

A T-800, Model 101, was sent to protect you. And yes, I know a machine reference is the last thing you want to hear; between Norton Antivirus and your nerves, you would always tell me I’m getting on. Only now, it isn’t me. It’s every noise from the glow boxes.

And the numbers. You keep telling my little brother, 2-V, that soon you’ll have nothing.

You want peace. And you have love, always for me. But Virgil, too. And how about my Favorite Girl? And now you have a girl of your own, Dad. V and I’s potential stepmom, M Anime. For her, you need wisdom and power. But right now, Dad, you need courage.

Do you remember my courage? I took “The Long Walk.”

Yes, I was scared, and I know you’re scared too. But I want you to remember who we are, Dad. I want you to remember the Dad you were whenever somebody tried messing with us. The Dad you were when the assistant store manager tried to insult my memory, Dad.

Be the man who found a way for me and my Favorite Girl to get along. You remember she and I didn’t always. But like father, like son. I liked comfy spots. She had yabbos.

Speaking of those, have the courage to make it until you can finally meet M Anime. Who knows… You’ll have the courage to love… She, my little brother, and some two-legged siblings that I’ll watch over. I’ll B Back, Dad.

“He’d never love anything more than getting obliterated.”
― Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
From ― Virgil, The Aeneid

1611 Days Without B III, Day 1052 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

I’m understanding why people don’t do much reading. I mean, it’d help if you cared about others. Eff MAGA! Eff FDT! Eff Christian Nationalists! But what about what I’m reading? Besides three beautiful women, there’s Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

Friday, June 27, 2025

Meditation 361 ~Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… You want to ask if I will ever do another review. Read the room. Bank account…

This week has been filled with things I don’t want to read. Norton Antivirus? Effers!

There’s “my” bank account. Nothing in there. Well, I don’t know. I haven’t checked. Not even on payday. I know how much I worked last week. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would be ashamed. She’s getting 40 hours weekly to come to me.

Well, cum for me. I know Lady Sophia. Ew! And I mean the sex talk, not the sex act. SIGH.

I and my ‘Nonsense’ words, better known as lies. Because I have read some interesting things this week. But reading in FEAR is worse than reading when I’m so exhausted.

Honestly, M Anime’s words aren’t wasted. I’m editing Braxton’s novel. And “Seven Days In June.”

I’m sorry to say I won’t finish Tia Williams’ book to complete the Kindle Challenge. Hell! Lady Sophia, I’ll have to buy some erotica fluff novella to have a book to read this week. It might be the first time I fail that portion of Six Impossible Things on Sunday. And “Seven Days In June” is pretty good so far. But I’m not even halfway done, and with such gems:

“Life is a terrible habit.”
― Seven Days In June

“It was all so exotic. He’d always appreciated families from a distance, looked at them like they were a fascinating experiment: all that intimacy and domesticity couldn’t have been more foreign.”
Seven Days In June

You know why I’m not dead yet despite “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” Not ok?

How many times have I looked up “Teen Idle” for those words? A forty-year-old bum. Shouldn’t I be yelling at… No. Writing strong notes to Norton and a delivery service.

What about Heaven? “Dear Heaven,” as Jeymes Samuel sang, Sophia.

But Braxton said… Hell! He writes every Monday that I have to live. And that’s why he sent me his little brother, Virgil, who is lying here at my feet. Literally, my second-born son has black and white fur. I heard Braxton whispering, “Can I make it any more obvious?”

His aunt, his Favorite Girl, still texts me. My second-best friend checks on me. And speaking of girls. What about “My Girl?” Talk about “The Temptations,” she texts me about.

Braxton has his girl; he’s palling around with her fur buddy on the Rainbow Bridge.

Regretfully, I’m not good enough to write the resignation of my life. To renounce my body until everyone knows my son. What am I, his masterpiece? Braxton’s Novel Idea, Virgil.

1608 Days Without B III, Day 1049 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 360 ~Stop At V, Braxton~

I catch far too many Zs. And unless you’re talking about The Big Sleep… B III willing. He wouldn’t want that for me. I didn’t want that for him. But the sandman is a bunch of ashes in a box. Still, I write letter after letter. Stop At V, Braxton

Thursday, June 26, 2025

Meditation 360 ~Stop At V, Braxton~

1607 Days Without B III, Day 1048 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s 10:20 AM here, so… I doubt I’ll be meeting you at the bridge today.

Hell! Even if I got lucky, I doubt I’d be headed to the Rainbow Bridge. I know B. Bad dad.

Only “I Can’t Stop.” Who am I, Flux Pavilion? No. And I’m not Marina going around singing “Teen Idle.” But today, I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” I’ll see you…

Again, no. Not unless you wanted to meet me at the gates of Hell. And if only I would drown in my tears. I don’t know how to stop crying. I’m sure I cried every day for 161 days when I wasn’t leaking ‘other’ bodily fluids. Eww! But I’ve cried every day for the last couple of weeks at least. And today, while reading “Seven Days In June,” Shane said:

“I’m a person who doesn’t know when to stop.”
Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

Mourning, Writing, Lusting, Effing Up!

And speaking of writing, if you’re wondering why I’m late talking to you today. Yes, Braxton, I was busy editing your story “My Turn To B III.” You can thank your Favorite Girl, whom I had lunch with. There’s my Girl, too. You and V’s could be stepmom, M Anime.

Your Favorite Girl is my second-best friend. But M Anime is something else, you know.

She’s the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want.” And what am I? I put my firstborn son in a box.

I talked to Inspector Echo yesterday about not being a bee in the hive. And eff me, I’m an effing number to Norton. Because, as a ‘novelist,’ I can have every letter. Stopping at B.

Before being born, breathing, boobs.

Yabbos! We say yabbos around here. And you liked your Favorite Girl’s B. Not lying. Your honorary aunt has a great pair. I’m sure her wifey tells her all the time. And as far as M Anime. Seriously, I need to let you go before she gets here. NEVER! ACCEPTANCE? NEVER! We even talked about you, Braxton. If I ever Wifed her up for you and Virgil, and we had children. I’m naming a two-legged son after you. That’s why your little brother Virgil’s no reincarnation. You earned manhood “long ago, long ago, long ago.”

“I Turn Home.” Braxton, if I had my way, I would have stopped my Ma from making a mistake birthing me. But I’m here at V. Stop At V, Braxton.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

I can’t say I’m another worker bee in the hive. Despite working on a book, taking care of Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, or basically getting out of bed. But there’s a beautiful girl; I want to honor B. If I keep buzzing… “B’s Are Helpful, Virgil”

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But is it helpful to be reminded of that today and every Sunday? The things I should do…

I should call Norton for one. I should be protecting myself. There are other jobs, Inspector. But instead, I’ll pop some painkillers. I could go all Lester Burman and say, “I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying ‘hi’ to my monster!” to some American Beauty. Choking the chicken to a Puerto Rican goddess. That would be Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. As long as Puerto Rico is still part of the U.S.A. Eff MAGA and FDT! I could also take a nap, Inspector Echo. However, the fact is that none of this would be helpful. I mourn Braxton.

Hell! I was editing Braxton’s book today, but how does that help? Bleeding, broken, broke.

I can read all about how if the bees go extinct, humanity is done. But what can I do, Echo?

I could have made B’s in school rather than D’s and F’s. Would my “life” be any better, Inspector? Could I have saved my Braxton? Or provide a better life for Little Virgil lying here. And what about any two-legged children that came along? Again, I think about M Anime. A woman who wants me, and I can’t even stand myself. My head hurts, Echo.

Braxton always had a way to make things better. At least less scary, Dear Inspector.

Didn’t I say FEAR is helpful? Currently, it’s overwhelming unless it’s going to take me to my boy. Death doesn’t scare me. But creating life.

M Anime called me a Demiurge yesterday. I always pictured myself more of a Necromancer type. But the knowledge that makes me feel good is a rarity. These days, most of what I know scares me. And then with the unknown, bullies, bills, bucks. But then there’s Boobs/yabbos, beauty, and always bed. These B’s are everywhere. Just like my boys

But then again, there’s no B in HELP, FEAR, or EXISTENCE because I failed, Inspector.

Life is “Bloodsport,” Inspector. But I’m not buff. “Where Is My Mind?” My brain. And again, the greatest B of them all. My son, my Braxton. This isn’t helpful, Inspector.

Breathing and buzzing. Yet hoping to sting M Anime her first time. Um, you know, me. B’s Are Helpful, Virgil.

1606 Days Without B III, Day 1047 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

I wish I could afford an alcohol problem now. Hell, this morning, my lazy ass stayed in bed awhile and read about a girl sniffing Oxytocin. I want something to make me want to be awake or let me sleep. Sitting in the present as Virgil Takes Vitamin B

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough that my first question, besides “Beast of Burden,” is, what does Vitamin B do?

And there I go, thinking about “Special K,” sigh. She was my maid once upon a time. And she was the one who told me about Vitamin B. Did I mention I have a maid fetish, My Love? We’ll get to that. The Vitamin B I want to talk about is furry and has four legs. And often looked at me like, “Forget your troubles and just get happy.” “Get Happy.” My Love, I only want to be less afraid. “Be Not So Fearful.” Here are three fears I have:

  1. Braxton’s Death, Virgil’s Life
  2. My Old Man’s Birthday
  3. Whatever Norton Is Saying

And right behind these things:

  1. Losing You My Love
  2. Losing All Our Money
  3. The Loss Of America

FEAR is my energy source, My Love. Scare me enough, and I take action. Everything I did while my firstborn son Braxton lay dying. I should say he was on “The Long Walk” because he was ready to die on his feet. Anyway, I was rubbing his little brother Virgil’s belly, and I panicked when I saw a TICK so close to his eye that I “saved” him from, babe.

And now we have today. And eff Norton! Well, I would rather eff you, My Love. Besides wanting and needing your “Sexual Healing.” What else would help me be unafraid?

Speaking of Sinestro becoming my favorite villain in DC. Darth Vader in Star Wars, ha! Hulk is my hero. Anger. Tony Stark, Iron Man. Wealth.

Sickness? Eww! But I want to be sick. As if I can get everything bad out of my body. Love?

“Stay With Me. Cause you’re all I need.” We can sleep, we can have sex. And you know how I sin. Sadism. I was thinking about all my kinks. It’s effed up that I think of losing Braxton, which is the greatest pain I’ve ever known. Then, as Billy Ocean put it, ‘You wake up, and Suddenly you’re in love.” That’s me next to you, wanting to give a dose of Vitamin D. More like “I want to effing tear you apart” Why? I want to feel better. No son (Uh, Virgil, our other children…) No sun. Just your Love. While Virgil Takes Vitamin B.

1605 Days Without B III, Day 1046 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 357 ~Braxton’s Card, Papers, Deportation…~

Who am I? Me or my father. I feel older with all of my FEARS, the fight to get out of bed. Have I found my boys a stepmom? I’ve seen photos of my future. Things that have frightened me. But finding peace. Not with Braxton’s Card, Papers, Deportation…

Monday, June 23, 2025

Meditation 357 ~Braxton’s Card, Papers, Deportation…~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… When people asked how old I was, it was because they wanted me to make cute little puppies like me. When I had cataracts…

Maybe or maybe not. You humans and your words. Not that it mattered much, Daddy.

You would always read to me anyway. Age-appropriate things you said. Bro, and yes, I just say ‘bro,’ Dad. I was older way before I turned 15. Way before I went away. But my father?

If that were the case, then who are you talking to right now? You’re old enough to consume alcohol. But you don’t usually. Old enough to be worried about credit and criminal activity; thanks, Norton. (Gives them one of my looks). You’re old enough to feel like you’re going Crazy. Yeah, if you’re going Crazy, it’s over me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, in an Aerosmith kind of way. Give me some credit, Daddy.

She finds good music, and so do I. And if it ain’t credit, it’s your paper books, bucks, and bunches of papers that you bring in from outside that scare you. Even more than the paper in my potty spot in my room. You would say the same bad S-word about that. Don’t worry, I won’t say it. You have been saying a lot of bad words for both of us. Right? Even my “future” stepmom said something like that. It’s why she wants to come and see you, Dad.

“Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I’ll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out. The problem is, I can’t tell what’s real anymore and what’s made up.”
Peeta ― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

I know there are things you and she can do together that can’t match. Eww! And even V is whining about it, too. But when she’s no longer on paper. When she’s with you, Dad?

“Your love is king
Crown you in my heart.”
Sade

“You are a king.”
Elijah to Clarence, from the movie The Book of Clarence (2023)

“You’re a good man with a good heart. And it’s hard for a good man to be king.”
Black Panther

You dream of “Dear Heaven.” Is there a heaven? And is anybody there? Yes, Dad, I’m here, and I know who and what I am. You would answer, my everything. I’m your Elijah to your Clarence. Hell! I was your Barabbas sometimes. I’m your “Brother My Brother.” I’m your bodyguard, your ride-or-die, your best friend, your inspiration for two novels, and every blog post since Sunday, January 31, 2021. The day I “left,” I’m your prince, the angel on your shoulder. And always and forever, forever and always. Dad, I am your son, Braxton, B.

So, who are you to think about “Deporting” yourself to Heaven? Hell? I’d follow Daddy.

“Who Are You?” “Who Made Who?” Wisdom, Courage, Power, and Love. Braxton’s Card, Papers, Deportation…

“If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love.”
― George Orwell, 1984 (Novel)

“A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
― Virgil, Aeneid

1604 Days Without B III, Day 1045 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 354 ~B After Reading Virgil~

I don’t want to read about clocks, account balances, or the latest scams. I don’t want to read about the fate of the U.S.A., what to fear, or if a text is legit. There’s writing the deeds of evil men or the loss of good boys. “B After Reading Virgil”

Friday, June 20, 2025

Meditation 354 ~B After Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But I don’t wanna. What? Read, Write, Live. Today, I’m still “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

Well, more sick. I’m a forty-year-old man. But “I wish I’d been a wish I’d been a teen, Teen Idle.” A prom KING, for sure. But I continue writing and reading about a dead furry prince, my firstborn son Braxton. And Virgil, who is one accident away from “The End.”

Only I’m just getting started on Braxton’s novel “My Turn To B III.” Lo and behold, I made it to the Dining Room table yesterday and actually got through 5,000 words yesterday, my lady. 400 to Braxton and 4600 in memory of his life. Is there a sign that reads, The Rainbow Bridge, or do pets only infer that’s where they are? They see color and suddenly become literate as well. Our failures as humans.

This is why I see myself siding with MAGA. Eff No! FDT! But in the present moment, I wouldn’t mind living in Ray Bradbury’s “Fahrenheit 451” I want to see Bills, Buttons, and Billions burn. Because I got nothing. Nothing but words that I think will lead me to my…

There is no B in Salvation, Freedom, or P*ssy. I have Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom for that. And must I be so crass? Lady Sophia, I’m willing to read anything that doesn’t make me sick to my stomach. Only a few moments ago, when I should have gotten up, I was worried about the sound of the phone. Best friend or worse enemy. Everything.

I might as well participate in King’s “The Long Walk.”

The bank account. WARNING! Norton. WARNING! Virgil’s Health. WARNING. After?

Well, I can read about what I am. My boys’ potential stepmom, M Anime, pleads with me to accept that she thinks highly of me. I’m a great listener and kind, and I love my boys and pretty much all furry buddies; she’s crazy comfortable with me. We’re just alike.

Honestly, two halves of a soul. And yet she gives Kim Petras a run for her money. And I get to read about and write about Ariela, Ariella Ferrara, Destiny (Cuban Maid), and Violet Myers. They got nothing on my would-be very real girl. But I have words. The man I need to be is somewhere in the words. Having to B After Reading Virgil.

1601 Days Without B III, Day 1042 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 353 ~B’s Take Flight, Virgil~

Am I allergic to bees? I’ve never been stung. Feeling petrified or in pain, and my “Enormous P.” It springs up, and I don’t know what to do. A lie. But I’d rather let it all go. But something is constantly raising me up. B’s Take Flight, Virgil.

Thursday, June 19, 2025

Meditation 353 ~B’s Take Flight, Virgil~

1600 Days Without B III, Day 1041 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I don’t know how I’m feeling right this second. You and Virgil’s potential stepmom texted…

But last night was pretty effing terrible! LANGUAGE! And no, not because of her, B. Honestly, Braxton, you hated… How can I put this? EVERYONE! But you want me happy.

How dare I ask you to bark out Third Eye Blind’s “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend” Third Eye Blind? B III? I swear Braxton Barks the things I remember.

I don’t want to remember last night. Why? Well, I fell asleep soon after catching up with NXT. So, the lights were on, and a show was playing, and your little brother, Virgil, had “snuck up” beside me. So I’m turning the lights off at 1:00 AM. Then like Squid Game’s Seong Gi-hun, I listen, hear, and understand this thought… cue his face I’m Effed!

Next thing you know, I’m scared, sobbing, the effing screaming inside my effing head, B.

Yes, yes, LANGUAGE, but there’s a reason your ashes rest above all my miniature armory. At that moment, son, I was (Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal. I haven’t felt that close to you in a bit. And that’s what you were doing last night, biting me, pulling me away from that drawer. I swear I could hear the angel wings on your back, Little B.

But I also imagined your potential stepmom, M Anime. Lying there in the dark, I started compiling a playlist for her. “Ain’t Nobody” Chaka Khan! “Doin’ It.” “Footsteps in the Dark.” I know, Ew! Don’t you want siblings with two legs? And M Anime’s Yabbos…

But thinking about being the first man that will “sting” her, if you know what I mean. B, you don’t want to know. If I’m on top of her, I’m not falling into my grave. And thinking of her moaning, crying, and screaming. Somehow, it stopped my tossing and turning.

Virgil wakes me up, so I know I got some sleep. And next thing you know, I’m rushing him outside so he can go to the bathroom. If only Virgil were more like you, Braxton. Seriously, I still want to be like you. But I can’t hurt you, M Anime and V like that ever.

“What was it like, the luxury of not hurting?”
Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

Did you go to Heaven to hold me up? M Anime above me. Walking with Virgil. B’s Take Flight, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

I’ve been addicted to many things in “my” life. My mattress, my mutts (Braxton Barks was purebred). Anyway, there are also melons. But what am I moaning about today? What am I addicted to? FEAR. So my boys rise. Ante Up. “Addicts Up, B, V.”

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Meditation 352 ~Addicts Up, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I called my boys “addicts,” as in druggies. If Braxton and Virgil are addicted to anything, it’s life.

Then why did B III have heart medication when he needed something for his kidneys?

Who knew? It took around $500 for the vets to figure that out. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, my firstborn son was dead. Addicted to the misery, ain’t I, Inspector. And don’t even get me started on the money. My boys are priceless. But yes, I have been worried about money lately. My fault. But I was talking to B and V’s potential stepmom.

We spoke about feelings, and as always, the one that dominates me when I “Step Into A World” is FEAR. Maybe listening to KRS-One will stop me from screaming, Inspector.

My boy, my Braxton, is dead, euthanized. And then there’s Virgil puking up his meds.

What was it I said yesterday? As Blessid Union of Souls put it, “I Believe” love is the answer. My boys, the beauties in my life, and dammit, will I finish a book! I’m sleepy.

Inspector, I miss energy shots, but I’m still reeling from my last binge. I was taking one a day, and do I really need skull-splitting headaches, the soreness in every part of my body, and the sin of wasting time? Hell! The money would have me quit, Cold Turkey. SIGH.

Inspector, again, that has my stomach doing flip-flops. But while I’m FEARFUL of what’s going on inside my body, what about some online shenanigans. M Anime, she’s the potential stepmom, is worried about Google. Then there’s Norton, ISPs, and updates.

I don’t want to be awake to worry about any of this. I love sleep more than I love success, and that’s why I’m here. Sitting in bed naked because the only thing I succeed in is getting an erection. Ew. “Addicted To Love.” If you want to call it that, Inspector Echo. To her?

M Anime. You’re Goddamn Right! But someone said it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. So while I’m locked in… “Hopelessly Devoted.”

Between thinking of M Anime and Cherry together… Jane from SeeJaneGoTV showcases her incredible melons. And Jahara Jayde cosplaying as Rikku. I’m a “Creep” Inspector.

Addicted to my boys’ lives, life-givers, and would-be Milfs. My life? Addicts Up, B, V.

1599 Days Without B III, Day 1040 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 351 ~That’s Virgil, B Afraid~

How dare I? I love my sons. One’s a memory. The other made his way into the house and hasn’t “runnoft,” yet. He runs into the room like he’ll be abandoned. If it weren’t for them, their potential stepmom, and so on. I might… “That’s Virgil, B Afraid”

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Meditation 351 ~That’s Virgil, B Afraid~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I don’t love myself, but I love you. What right do I have to love?

Braxton, point blank, period. My firstborn son, B, B III. Shall I continue? Always. Forever.

If I need define love, one word, his name, Braxton. And there you have it. As Kylie Minogue puts it, “Love at First Sight.” Hell, it was probably more for B III than me. Ha!

But Haddaway asks, “What Is Love?” Wrong or right today, here’s what I believe, beloved.

“I believe that love is the answer.” Blessid Union of Souls, seriously? Okay, honestly, love.

Love is the want, need, desire, ability, anything, and everything under the sun in Heaven and Hell to put someone ahead of yourself. I effing hate myself. But Dead or alive, I love Braxton. I love you, our children. And that’s Virgil, B Afraid.

Because I love that little MFer, too. Or at least I slipped up and said so when I figured I would die from embarrassment going to visit B’s Favorite girl and her wifey, she claimed. She claimed? Claim to love. “Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is a prize.”

Personally, I disagree with Avicii and Aloe Blacc. Love is a gift. I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it. If life is a game, then love is the instruction. Have you noticed games no longer come with those booklets? Everything is online. Don’t get me started on that.

Today, all I want to know is how to wake up with peace. That’s me loving me. To have it.

Soft d*ck and clear head.

Not with you, huh… I don’t mean that negatively, mind you. I’m always hot, horny, and hard for you, my love. And you’re always on my mind. This Year’s Love or more. “Sucker For Pain”

More kids jumping on the bed. Virgil is in a household full of kitties. B III being proud of me from Heaven above. God, give me more time, I don’t have to think about myself.

I’d rather it all be about you. You are an obsession; you’re my “Obsession.” And I can deal with being the man I want to be with you. Perverted, protector, maybe even a prince, hm?

“And there, my dear Fio, you make one of Womankind’s greatest mistakes: Falling in love with a man’s potential. We so rarely share the same view of it and even more rarely care to achieve it. Stop pining for the man you think I could be — and take a good, long, hard look at the one I am.”
Darkfever

But I’m a person, a monster who still wonders why and how you might love me. That’s Virgil, B Afraid.

1598 Days Without B III, Day 1039 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will