Tag: Memorial

Meditation 071 ~Virgil’s Happy To B…~

WillLeave a comment

Wednesday, September 4, 2024. Just make it past E-Day. Get past E-Day. “If you’re going through hell. Keep on going.” That was me and my B. “Run, boy, run.” But to be happy wherever… Not in the womb or pet hospital. But V’s here. Virgil’s Happy To B…

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Meditation 071 ~Virgil’s Happy To B…~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You are the love of my life. Every moment, every single second, I am filled with love for you. To be in love with you is my greatest joy, my deepest desire. Please believe me.

A little less of a horndog… How about to be here? And happy? Two things, my love. Sigh, horndog or hound dog… I’m loyal to you and no other. You know the man you married.

And you know, my love, that I struggle with happiness. It’s a concept that often eludes me. When was the last time I truly felt happy? I’m not sure, but I need to explore this. We should focus on the present, on being ‘Here and Now ‘. Like right this second, Wednesday, September 4, 2024.

B III is still gone. But do I feel the need to talk about him? No. There art thou happy! Today, I’m not ready to be happy. I’m not ready to celebrate. I’m petrified, love. Not only hard for… you.

I feel comfortable making jokes about adult situations but not about celebrating Emergence Day. And what is the leading cause of Emergence Day? Being in an adult situation. So why can’t I be an adult and make a decision? And that’s how much to spend.

There is no price for my family’s happiness. But since I can’t bring back the dead or build a time machine. And love is not a prize; it’s a gift or the instructions. How-To Love.

My darling, you know that I love you with all my heart. I love you, our family, our friends. But when it comes to me, happiness isn’t in sight… Yet, I strive to be the best for you and our children. Like breathing, it’s natural.

So I’ve been sitting here contemplating how much to spend.

“Money can’t buy me love…” Did I say that out loud with the business that I’m in? Again, with the jokes. I don’t remember Emergence Days without my son. That’s how horrible they were. At least with Braxton, it meant no alarm clocks. B III got steak and fries, ha-ha.

Only sometimes. I met Braxton’s aunt on Emergence Day because she didn’t want me to spend it alone. Well, at least without human interaction. Braxton Barks was none too pleased.

Darling, it’s less than a hundred bucks. I tell Lunalesca that I’m a billionaire. Would I be happy if I had the fortunes of the Amazon, X, and my novel CEOs? “We can be heroes just for one day.” Happy? Me? Virgil’s Happy To B…

1318 Days Without B III, Day 759 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

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Honestly, I thought I would go nuts with fiction… I could share what I’m working on. But M Anime and Cherry would probably “unalive” me. And my Olds? So far, so good. By the time you see this, I’ll be Level 40. Sadly, “Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day”

Saturday, September 7, 2024

Meditation 068 ~Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
Here’s your first and only WARNING! I did a somewhat family-friendly version of Emergence Day on Thursday, September 5, 2024. Meditation 066 ~Will, B, Happy? Virgil~. Today, Friday, September 6, 2024, won’t be that. A world without my boys. Am I happy at Level Forty? Let’s Go!

All in the family. Sisters? I’m more Christian Grey than Ethan. Brunettes or Blondes. Well… I’m equal opportunity when it comes to women. Near or far, whether short or tall, skinny Minnie or BBW. I want to thank them all. It’s good to know that I’m alive, even at forty.

Emergence Day. Is it Emergence Day? How better to wake up this morning? Day 14610.
Didn’t Tyrion Lannister talk about a girl’s mouth wrapped around his cock. And I’m not dead yet. But two, three, how many girls are in my bed. One’s beneath the covers, which is good enough. “If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Only “There’s a lot of pretty girls in this city.” Only I’m not supposed to be working today. Or this week? That’s the dream. isn’t it? To have a profession, you don’t need a vacation from. Something you would do for free. Even on Emergence Day. Yet here I am.

Here they are. I need to eat to sleep. And I have hobbies. Reading, writing, and a few games that I like. I’m a man of many hats: writer, director, actor, producer, photographer, talent scout. I should also take up art before AI takes those jobs. But enough about work…

What do I want to eat? Yes, I mean food. If we’re talking about women…

Well, I would be here forever to value each breath, beat… blowjob. Living, not existing.

What makes me happy? I can speak about Fifty Shades of Grey and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days, Nights, and Dawn. But I can also talk about the first three of the Red Rising Series. To live for more. Books? I want to see more days where something gets blown. Boobs.

Better believe me when I say it’s breasts! Anything in the bedroom for sure, Lunalesca.

Better yet, the balls to say it out loud. I figured our chat would be far more sexual. I know. Hell! Emergence Day is a celebration of life I wish for billions and babes. Bedrest… Honesty? Braxton, Virgil, Emergence Day.

1315 Days Without B III, Day 756 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 067 ~B There Tomorrow, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Well, I hope my boys have better things to do. Braxton, rest… in peace. Not cool. Virgil acts up when I leave, so he’ll be in B’s room. As for me, I set up for E-Day. The bunker, a bunch of food, bedroom hopes… Without B There Tomorrow, Virgil.

Friday, September 6, 2024

Meditation 067 ~B There Tomorrow, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As I was telling my son yesterday. I’m not happy. Ever?

If I talk to the Man In The Mirror, I’ll feel something. You can count that as a win… But today? There’ll be no book review. And what’s this forty-year-old’s story. Well nearly… We’ll see.

Battle Stations! It’s not supposed to be this way, but here we are… without Braxton.

“Today is all about you.” Me, Me, Me. But yes, Virgil is here as well. I have yet to do nearly anything to clean the house. I’m not expecting company. Well, food delivery. I could go all “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” and hire a “special friend.” Seriously? Would I ever.

And what is it with me and films with Steve Carell? I mentioned The 40-Year-Old Virgin the other day. Hell! When was my last time with a woman? If I am riding out the end.

Sophia, it’s not an apocalypse. It’s only Emergence Day. One more for the books, right?

Not the beeps, boops, and bills I’ll have to read through tomorrow. There was a big one yesterday? $100.00! That was barely enough to cover four 12 packs of soda, some odds and ends. I had street tacos and wings. And let us not forget an E-Day cake, Lady Sophia.

Today, there’ll be more. More baked goods. I’ll have a beautiful woman cut my hair.

There’s been a bunch of spam lately. People I’ve never heard of… wanting to be friends or offer financial planning. How do I know? The phone rings once, and they never call back again, Sophia. But my Olds? Please, not today or E-Day. They are the greatest fear I know.

Worse than me talking to Lady Lunalesca. Sadly, she drew the short straw this year. Tomorrow or, more likely, today, I’ll have to tell her how I wish my Emergence Day was. I won’t hear from Braxton’s Aunt because she knows how I feel about the day. M Anime has her life. And Cherry will probably have me reading her latest work. I take it.

It’ll beat talking about a ton of Yabbos. Yelling, moaning, and screaming in adult poses… Your boy might post a few pictures in his Emergence Day suit for OnlyFans… for $100 a pop. Nobody’s paying that! But it would be a story or something. Fortieth E-Day B There Tomorrow, Virgil.

1314 Days Without B III, Day 755 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 065 ~Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Eff E-Day… I started this Monday, August 26, 2024. Now it’s Tuesday, and… Is this week getting any better? I feel sick. Is that the sensation of getting older? An energy shot? Being skeevy? I’m not sleeping, so I can shout Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

Meditation 065 ~Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I love my boy, my son, my Braxton. I am trying with Virgil. Honest, Inspector. But today, friend…

It’s Monday, August 26, 2024. And I can’t remember; have I cried for Braxton, Inspector? I’ve been saying for these two weeks, besides, STAY ALIVE! I’m going to be selfish.

Inspector? Today, I am AFRAID. Not of forgetting my boy or finding Virgil making messes. Today, I FEAR E-Day. E-Day stands for Emergence, Existence, and Extinction, Echo. Ha-Ha! You think the Locusts from Gears of War were bad. Wait until you get a load of me. I tell myself this when I see my face in the mirror, dear Inspector.

The horror, the horror of this almost forty-year-old man, Echo. I effing hate myself today. Every day, really. But I wish I’d never emerged. I can’t stand existence. And extinction…

If Virgil wasn’t here today…

I’d be effing the bedsheets. But E-Day’s arrival demands I clean. Crispy, not crusty sheets.

Eww! What? Do you find the mention of some “romantic” stories gross? For two weeks…

Backyard Dungeon 13 has its moments. But you know that’s not what I’m talking about.

Inspector, if I haven’t been fighting everything about E-Day, you know what I’ve been watching. And the more I’ve been figuring out, the more I’ve found each day. I’d be driving Dirty Diana crazy. You remember her before my son passed, then… Uh, I couldn’t.

There’s Braxton’s spirit, specter… I don’t know. But now you all share in my skeeviness. When I’m not effing myself over E-Day, I want something, someone pretty to look at.

Being forty… plenty of effing.

Almost. But I hated thirty-nine, seventeen, and even seven. But here and now, there’s uh?

  1. Madoka Araki
  2. Tsubaki and Sakura Miyajima
  3. Reika and Reina Kurashiki
  4. Ayana Fujisawa
  5. Mikura Suzuki
  6. Asumi Hisato
  7. Sawa
  8. Tomoko
  9. Natsuno
  10. NETORARE

I thought that I would make one of those 64-brackets or something. And then I saw my Day Job schedule… Anything to keep my greatest FEAR at bay. My father is the originator of E-Day Day One. It’s good that I’m learning so much Japanese because what will my old man say to his bum of a son? I got lucky. I love Braxton. I don’t hate Virgil, Inspector. E-Day… Fearing my father, future, finding more… Eff E-Day! Braxton, Virgil…

1312 Days Without B III, Day 753 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 064 ~Virgil Will B Celebrating…~

WillLeave a comment

Where will I be by the time you read this? Still existing? Everyone knows how I feel about E-Day, and it’s so close now. Am I excited? The word I’m looking for is Eww! Eff E-Day! But if Virgil gets some expensive vittles… “Virgil Will B Celebrating…”

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

Meditation 064 ~Virgil Will B Celebrating…~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Our children. And Virgil? We’re both trying today. It’s Monday, August 26, 2024, my love.

But do I love you enough to forget… Who, Braxton? You know not to ask me that. And even the weeks when I cry out to the Heavens… STAY ALIVE! Even when I said I would be purely selfish for two weeks. I can never forget about my Lost Boy, my son, my Braxton. So allow me to get nerdy with this when it comes to me and my firstborn:

“Let me just say that… our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family.” And I will (never) let him go. And you hope you can cope. For the record, I stole most of that from Star Trek’s Guinan, so you know.

But what’s the question I have been asking myself these two weeks, dear baby doll?

Can I let you and the kids celebrate me for one whole day? Can I celebrate just for one day? Can I not hate myself on E-Day? Can I not be afraid for a day? Can I listen to my son the way I didn’t when he died? Can I be happy? My son was the first to ask that of me, love. That’s something you and he share, and that is no insult. You’re here, and B… Hell! Come Existence Day, all he wanted was some fries and some steak, and he would party, my love. But these two weeks, I either want to cower, cry or… what’s that one naughty C-word? Uh, cream…

You know the one for Madoka Araki, Natsuno, Tomoko, Tsubaki

Ironic that while I cry and pray for my extinction before E-Day. All I want to do is be at some pretty “entrance…” Yours, my darling wife. And exist with the notion of creating life. I mourn my existence and the loss of Braxton’s life. It’s the same coin, beloved.

Celebrating who I am… Who am I? How can I celebrate a man that I have never lived for, my love? You ask me to pretend, and I look into your eyes. Your eyes and not your Yabbos. You have fantastic Yabbos, and I can answer that truthfully. But pretending? It’s a struggle, my love, a struggle with self-acceptance… Who am I, a doctor? Please!

Celebrating? I’ll do my best. And hope that, as Sean Connery put it, you’re the prom queen, my love. Effing E-Day. Virgil Will B Celebrating…

1311 Days Without B III, Day 752 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 061 ~Soon, Virgil, Imma B~

WillLeave a comment

Will I be busy today? I should have been busy for forty years. I never wanted to see twenty-one. But then, for fifteen years, I was Braxton’s father… Can I not talk about my son? Anything beats worrying about the next seven days. Soon, Virgil, Imma B

Saturday, August 31, 2024

Meditation 061 ~Soon, Virgil, Imma B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I’m gonna be. Now… I’ve been saying that (ish) going on thirty-nine years, Lady Lunalesca.

But in seven days, I’ll be going through a transitional period. I’ll be evolving, Lunalesca.

I’ll be leveling up. I’ll be better when I’m older… No. I won’t be the greatest fan of my son’s life. Not today, sorry, Braxton. And not for the rest of the week, Dear Lunalesca.

Because, come this time next week… I’ll be forty. Lunalesca, I shouldn’t be forty. Or? To be honest with myself, I shouldn’t be awake and alive. But Luna, I’m a be existing. How terribly sad.

The second worst decision I ever made. The first is B’s Euthanasia. Was that bad? Again, this isn’t about my son this week. I can’t help myself. I miss B, and for some inane reason, I keep breathing. Forty years of breaths. What a waste!

Since I was thirty-six, most of them have been with the thought,… I’ll join Braxton. Lunalesca, can I not keep my son’s name out of my mouth? And what about Virgil? I swear I got into an argument with the veterinarian the other day. When it came to ordering Virgil’s medication, I asked for Braxton’s first. Uh! Not that he needs meds. My Ma, though.

She could have popped some pills, and I wouldn’t be here. But as I blame myself for Braxton’s “passing.” I blame myself for my existence. I’m a be here Lunalesca.

Inevitably? Immortality? Insanity? Maybe I’ll tell you how I would spend the perfect E-Day this time next week. Um, Lu, it would, of course, be bathed in all my Immorality.

Am I still going on about Madoka Araki’s “Maid Scene?” And thinking about an incredible set of “Melons” from across the pond. I’ll be making a mess at this rate.

Lunalesca, you have to know I hate talking about myself… Did I really say that? Lunalesca, it’s only that I’m an old man. It’s too late to say or ask what I will be someday.

Please, no motivational speeches today, Lady Lunalesca. What am I going to be this coming week if my Olds don’t call and I don’t go to join Braxton, Lunalesca? Waiting…

Sunday, I should talk about endings. What will be my “last” rule on Monday? Tuesday and Wednesday are done. Thursday is for Braxton. Friday, books. Busy? Soon, Virgil, Imma B

1308 Days Without B III, Day 749 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 060 ~Braxton And Virgil On-Call~

WillLeave a comment

B and V are here. On-call. The ghost and a “good dog…” 2-V tries his best. Even now, he sits here as I write post after post. And a book review of something too dark for me? Beheadings, barbed wire. Because of such evils. “Braxton And Virgil On-Call”

Friday, August 30, 2024

Meditation 060 ~Braxton And Virgil On-Call~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About how I commune with the dead? Or what turns me on at any given moment.

No, My Lady. When you and I have our chats, I talk about my son… Sons? And whatever book I’ve chosen to read. I wish that B was alive. And I don’t think I’ll keep reading Matt Shaw’s books. But we’ll get to that. What about facing Emergence, Existence, Extinction…

I’m talking to you today, Sunday, August 18, 2024… Imagining the future. My future revolved around writing books and being somewhere with Braxton and many women. But no. I’m still at the Day Job. And not on-call for when inspiration strikes? In bed alone, hmm.

Sophia, right now, I have a scared Virgil on my lap because of the rain. I wish the storm would blow even harder. Past this book review of The Call:

The Call Over The Line

Three Stars… It should be two. Even one? Did I like this book? Well, Am I A Psycho? The fact that I’ve read only one other title from Matt Shaw… I’m better off not answering that question. The darkness I liked, but why it was terrible… Kids. There is a line, and this crossed it in deviant, depraved, disgusting ways. Geez! It would have been awesome if it had stayed between the caller and the wife. Her playing… But once the dildo and “other” characters were introduced, I was done. Brutal violence? Yes! But afterward… Every friend I have would be horrified if I ever gave this to them. The lesson… Don’t cheat, and let’s leave the kids out of it. This goes too far.

And speaking of too far, what about “my” story “Sofía’s Nightmare?” It still doesn’t have a title. And it won’t be getting one today. The Day Job needs me, this work, and you ha-ha. Braxton and Virgil wouldn’t care what I wrote down as long as I could be on-call for them. Braxton would still be alive… How many books tell me otherwise? Too many!

Sophia, I wouldn’t have been in a rage at the Day Job and indifferent to my son’s needs. I could have done something. I should think of that when I need to get it up to be at the Dining Room table. Braxton’s yowling does more than Hannah Harper’s Yabbos or Lupe Fuentes… “Appeal.” Better Inspiration? Braxton And Virgil On-Call.

1307 Days Without B III, Day 748 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 058 ~Braxton And Virgil Call~

WillLeave a comment

What’s My Age Again? Thirty-Nine until E-Day. I wouldn’t have made it past seven if I had my way. A time way before the smartphones… Speaking of which, how old is my phone. It’s not like I get anything but bad news. I’d rather Braxton And Virgil Call

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Meditation 058 ~Braxton And Virgil Call~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… According to “my” phone, at least. Who pays the bill? I restarted the timer of me “getting off…”

What? Yesterday, I was busy writing/stealing that scene from Episode Five of the series Discipline -The record of a Crusade- You know, the one of Madoka Araki. Why was that?

I’m staying alive!!! STAY ALIVE!!! My battle cry? The clarion call? A mandate from Heaven? Or wherever my Braxton resides after his passing. My son is asking me to wait to join him. And where’s Virgil? Well, he’s at the foot of the bed for now. This isn’t about him. But then again, yes, it is. Just because my boys don’t use phones doesn’t mean I don’t hear their voices. Yesterday, I got a call about Virgil. What about the call I’ve been dreading? I got a text from my Olds. It wasn’t about E-Day.

But E-Day, the day of my Emergence, Existence, and Extinction, is coming. It remains the second most horrific day in “my life.” But not yet…

My Olds informed me of some vote that was happening. And while I’m all for civic duty and whatnot, I want to hide out for the next two weeks. Even better, I wish I could just sleep through it all, like the song says, ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends.’ But no, I’m ‘awake and alive’ at this moment, sadly.

I wish I wasn’t, Inspector, my hand to God or Braxton. I would “happily” join the ranks of the dead rather than grow another year older. But haven’t I Echo? I’ve been saying for days now what rests in my head. It ain’t a brain. E-Day worries, women sans clothing.

Inspector? A silver lining? “Today is all about you.” Me…

By that I mean me. And who am I without a phone? Who are any of us, for that matter? I’m someone to Virgil because I got a call about picking up his medication yesterday. Inspector, I’m sitting here hoping “my” paycheck hits early so I can fetch those meds. Echo, it wouldn’t matter anyway because I won’t let Virgil follow Braxton… Not my call? I have to pick up food, so I already made myself sick with an energy shot, but the Day Job? Yeah, I got my schedule. My entire existence is run by the beeps and boops of the screen, Inspector. And if I wanted something for E-Day… Braxton returning… Joining him. Inspector “my” phone should Evolve. But, Braxton And Virgil Call.

1305 Days Without B III, Day 746 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 057 ~Virgil (Shouldn’t) B Hating~

WillLeave a comment

Virgil doesn’t hate. He’s bored to tears. V can’t stand the rain. And after 745 days, he’s not exactly… Um, I’m no one to talk about brains. Almost 40, what do I know? Harems and Netorare. I miss my son. And I hate myself. Virgil (Shouldn’t) B Hating

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Meditation 057 ~Virgil (Shouldn’t) B Hating~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I love the family we have made together. I am endlessly grateful for your presence in my life. I will always love Braxton. And, Virgil…

I am trying, my love. Hell! Virgil claimed the center of the bed this morning. And he seems more than happy. And what about me? Am I happy? We might never speak again with our conversation just yesterday. Meditation 064 Virgil Will B Celebrating… Hmm.

I’ve a better chance of learning Time Travel than happiness when it comes to E-Day, the day I began existing. But everything I say, possibly my last words, will be out of Hatred, Sadness, or outright Fear. Love. Yesterday, there was a lot of hate. This Is America, and I’m an old African American man. And getting older… Effing E-Day. I got enemies, got a lot of enemies but I am my own worst enemy. And why is that? Braxton thought I was pretty great.

And while I’m busy quoting songs, here’s another “I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.” This song resonates with me after Braxton died, as I thought I was singing to him, my beloved. Then, I thought that the pain of my son’s loss would eventually drive you away. Next to Braxton, those that love me… You, Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime loves everybody… platonically, a good girl ha-ha!

Have I read what Cherry has written today? And what about my Olds? There’s Virgil.

Just like happiness, I can’t say I’ve ever loved myself. But there’s the Possibility. And that was because Braxton was here. As I’ve been saying, my battle cry should be… STAY ALIVE. But it was never for me, alone. To be someone that I actually love… Someone with a purpose. I struggle with this, and I hope you can understand.

If life’s a game made for everyone, then love isn’t the prize. No, love is the instruction manual. And on the day my son left this world, and I entered it. Love, that’s Game Over.

January 31st and E-Day. These are the days I hate myself the most. But at least with Braxton, there is so much love that I had for him, and it’s like it couldn’t help but overflow. Drowning? No, I sailed.

It brought me to you. It gave us our kids. Allows me to love my friends. It even found V? I’m grateful for the love and support I’ve received, and I hope you know how much it means to me.

It makes me grateful for all my “adult animation” sins these days. I’m still finding things to watch and to inspire “my” novel.” Gross? Absolutely.

But nine months later, January to E-Day. I swear, another year older, I still hate myself. Love? You try. Virgil tries. Virgil (Shouldn’t) B Hating.

1304 Days Without B III, Day 745 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 054 ~Good Night, B, V~

WillLeave a comment

A Nightmare On Elm Street, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and Captiva… Uh… Don’t look up Captiva. But, the idea is not to sleep. I think about B III all day, and if I sleep, I have nightmares and then wake up to another day. “Good Night, B, V.”

Saturday, August 24, 2024

Meditation 054 ~Good Night, B, V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And what do billionaires dream about? Instead, what resides in their nightmares? Losing, Less, Level money…

We don’t all lose Ducketts the same way Lady Luna. We don’t all give “The D” to the same woman… (Snickers). I still have my thing for brunettes and dark-haired ladies. And you remember there was a time when I was really into Asian women. There’s this one nowadays… Okay, I need to shut up. I’m well aware we don’t all dream the same way.

Lunalesca, we don’t all lose a dog the same way. My son Braxton. His Aunt is mourning her son Gabe. For her, the nightmare has just begun. But for me? I live my Braxton’s loss.

So last night, Braxton did not appear in “my” nightmares. The worst day in existence.

Dear Lunalesca, instead, I dreamed of “The Horror, The Horror.”

What “My” Mind Finds Scary:

First, there were the sirens somewhere in the night. I dreamt the police were looking for me. Or rather, a podcast that must have had all my confessions of evil. If you want to see what a sinner I am, how skeevy and sick, check my X/Twitter page. Which leads me to my second nightmare. Looking up “stuff & thangs at the Day Job. I’ve never done that, Lunalesca. But I did get my Ma in trouble once at her job… Third, was losing ladies…

https://twitter.com/@WillsWants

There was losing Special K, “The Maid.” And there was this mom who once modeled for me. But of course, she’s a “good woman.” My last nightmare was about secrets. So many in forty years…

And that’s the thing, Lady Lunalesca. I’m turning forty soon. The thought of it now brings tears to my eyes. I could be crying over my Braxton. Can I spare a tear for Virgil? Hmm.

Braxton’s Aunt lost her furry son. But no. I’m selfish, scared, and slumming my existence. And as I told Braxton’s Aunt last night. I’m either up all night zoned out. And then I find out it’s 1:30 AM. So when I cut out the lights, I sleep. But I don’t rest, Lunalesca. I can’t, Lu. To put it simply, I’m consumed by fear and anxiety.

And I wish that, at the very least, next week would be a time of rest and relaxation. Rutting? Lunalesca.

I won’t be. Fear over the phone. My Olds. Other things… Good Night, B, V.

1301 Days Without B III, Day 742 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will