Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

What’s it like to read a B on your paper when you want an A? I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t all that bright in school. My head was always in a book. But the books I’m reading now are a tad more interesting. Then there’s the bad news. These Dang B’s Virgil

Friday, August 1, 2025

Journey 031 ~These Dang B’s Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I could tell you about the reading test I failed in the sixth grade. Uh, why?

I’m not STUPID! Now that is a lie! But I can tell the difference between a dog and a cat, Sophia. “Only God Knows Why.” Uh, because I have my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And their potential stepmom has cats. Also, I like when she uses the term p*ssy. (Drools).

But that comes later. If I can tell the difference between A’s and B’s, Archie (renamed Virgil) and Braxton. Why don’t I know the difference between Ants and Bees? Seriously.

It’s been a day and a half since I’ve seen a Carpenter Ant. Did I find the nest? Did the poison get to them? I still can’t rest. Aren’t I sitting in bed again? What I need is to relax and review another book today:

Pledged In Three Or More
It’s safe to assume with Owned, Princess Tamer, and now Pledged To Him, that I’m a fan of Neil Bimbeau. Long story short, or short story shorter, I like this. I’m noticing this author’s works have always had a somewhat edgy tone. Though the Pledged to Him series has a bit more bite. The sex is always good. Of course, the best part has to be the sweet, sexy, submissive Yukiko aka Kiki. Next to that would have to be Samantha’s call and how understanding Kiki was with it. I recommend this story to any guy who would rather have a tablet in one hand instead of a mouse. It seems a tad more educational… With a TOUCH of love.

Speaking of love, Sophia. I like, uh, really like reading M Anime’s text. And I have to get back to answering her today. Because reading anything else short of Neil Bimbeau’s work makes my eyes hurt. But when I have my girl, my woman, M Anime… I think B III would be proud up on the Rainbow Bridge. He had a Favorite girl of his own, and now I could tell him someday, “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag,” with his future stepmom. “I Believe.”

So she says. She wants me to be the one and only. It beats reading about different ant poisons, a grocery bill, or even the Taco Bell menu. And I still haven’t finished Braxton’s book dedication… These Dang B’s Virgil.

Dedication
For Braxton Barks Bradford, my B III and firstborn son
If life is a game, love is your instructions
I didn’t pour the Bisquick, but you’ll always be my pancake
a sweet bond of father and son, woven in every memory
Always and forever
My little one, now as tall and high as any king
Eternally, always your Daddy

1643 Days Without B III, Day 1084 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

Ants and “High Hopes.” Forget the plants; they chewed through the bottom of the door. B III’s Favorite Girl, his “aunt,’ has High Hopes for me. But my real sister—she’ll be an aunt. If M Anime and I “Marvin Gaye” and get it on. B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

1642 Days Without B III, Day 1083 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up right on time, and I’m still late talking to you. So today?

Buggy and sad. I did cower under the covers longer than I should. Sunrise was at 5:58 AM, and I wanted to be up at 5:45 AM. I wasn’t. I’ve said a few times this week that your Dad is a coward. Why can’t I just be lazy? As a matter of fact, why can’t I just die, B III?

So I cower and can’t die, so what’s left? “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” But again, I got started early. As soon as I got out of bed to walk your little brother. Only I wasn’t crying about him or you. Your Favorite Girl, your aunt, ain’t here. And neither is your and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Though she texted. Porn doesn’t bug her. Yay!

First off, EWW! But give me a woman who wants it rough like Ariella Ferrera and ‘dirty’ like Tsubaki Miyajima from Saimin Seishidou. It’s how you get two-legged siblings, B.

What about your little brother, Virgil? I didn’t forget to check him for bugs today.

However, what about the rest of the house? I don’t have to worry about giving him the talk about the birds and the bees. Uh, yeah. Your brother has no balls. So why do I?

Seriously, ants are destroying the house. Is that why I was crying? I look at what has become of your territory, Braxton, and it’s more like you’re the father and I am the son today.

Denethor and I’m your Faramir. You couldn’t be so cruel.

It’s one of the traits I’m glad you didn’t inherit from me. My cruelty and indifference mean that I don’t give a crap. My cowardice. “Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!” That wouldn’t be you, Braxton. It wouldn’t be M Anime. How can I tell her like Zapp, “I Want to Be Your Man.” And at the same time, “I am lucky if I learn to read and write.. Where I live, you must first learn to stand and fight.” To be a “Superhero” like New Power Generation sings about. But I’m a “Blankman.” How can I eff M Anime, be a father, and have a family? Your aunt would be proud. Ants should die. I’m crying. And bugged!

B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, and Hulk Hogan are all gone, Lucky. Wow, that’s harsh, but Five For Fighting said, “It’s not easy to be me.” And my five? Braxton, Virgil, me, M Anime, and B’s Favorite. And how many Ants? Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Journey 029 ~Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I let Carpenter Ants eat the house. Well, my Olds house… The house they bought me. A man…

And what kind of man am I? I’m not Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Ozzy Osbourne, or even Hulk Hogan. I’d like to say that I’m better than any MAGA Cracker Hat, Inspector.

However, don’t I still watch the WWE? That makes me an effing hypocrite, doesn’t it? And I’m as yellow and red as those tights Hogan would wear. Yellow because I’m a coward. And red? I’m angry at myself for being a coward. What do I see in the backyard, hm?

“Why them Biker Boyz wear yellow?”
I said, “‘Cause they scared!”
They said, “Soul Train? Why do Biker Boyz wear black?”

I said, “Because they want to be Knights!”

“That’s my secret, Cap: I’m always angry.”
Bruce Banner, Hulk

All that green, Inspector Echo, and in that green are Carpenter Ants. Or under the foundation, wherever they are wrecking my Braxton’s former stomping grounds.

Inspector, this was my Braxton’s home and now Virgil’s. And my Old Man is going to smash me. M Anime?

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. If she knew, I mean, really knew the coward that wants to smash her… Safely and consensually, of course, we’ll get there.

But not if there’s no house left. I’m not man enough to defend it. I’m not man enough to fix it. No, I’m sitting right here on the loveseat where my makeshift family once resided.

Me, my Braxton, and Braxton’s Favorite Girl. Virgil met her, too. And she loves him.

Inspector, I could love myself if I were Professor Hulk. But I’m more Hogan. Do you know why Marvel’s Hulk is my favorite? I would rather be Black Panther, Iron Man, or have Captain America’s morals. Anyway, for me to always be angry. I must be fearful. And really STUPID!

Be Not So Fearful. I’m effing terrified to open the back door but not to make love to a woman. And speaking of a backdoor, what about “My Girl” and The Temptations she offers? Didn’t I say sometime this week that we were having discussions about Hard and Soft Limits? If I’m going to be her first… Well, nearly everything. She wants to explore her backside as well. The Succubus Series… Anal. Honestly, that will be a first for me, too. But while she’s going all Shakira “Underneath Your Clothes.” I’m scared to be from underneath the covers. I’m praying. Inspector, I promised not to do that after B’s… Euthanasia. And speaking of which, Echo.

Sorry, I had to check Virgil for bugs. Smashing everyone’s lives. Virgil, Braxton Vs. Hulk

1641 Days Without B III, Day 1082 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

There’s no time. If I could go back to the moment I heard Braxton cry, I’d rush him to the vet. Like when he stepped on a pinecone or something… And now I have time to pick bugs off his brother or stare at his stepmom’s yabbos. Time Travel B Where.

Monday, July 28, 2025

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I didn’t have to sit on your head for once. But I’m always on your mind. Right, Dad?

Bedtime, book time, even boob time. Speaking of which, how’s my Favorite Girl? You’ve been talking to Cherry a lot. And what about ‘your’ Favorite Girl, my and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I’m starting to understand why you shut me out of certain things, Dad. As you told me all the time, “I love you like pancakes.” But I under no circumstances want to see you pouring the Bisquick to make pancakes… Me and Virgil’s, two-legged siblings. There’s no time for that, you’d say with my Favorite Girl around.

Honestly, where does the time go? That was one of my many questions on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It’s time to go home. But this doesn’t look like home. Somewhere I can only watch from.

And there’s always time to watch you. There’s always time to do something. Like love?

In our memories of the past. In our dreams of the future. But Dad, as you would say, “I’m here.” “Here and Now” “We Found Love,” in a hopeless place. I found it in you.

We’re still, and we will always and forever be father and son. And like father, like son, we’re running together. Me to one side of the Rainbow Bridge. And you into the grave, my father. Meet me in the middle? Where would that be? There’s a reason I was Neo.

He is trapped in a place between this world and the machine world. All I can do is tell you that your friend needs your help. He needs all our help.
― The Matrix Revolutions

How long did that last before my Grandma gave me the name Braxton? That’s me.

Timeless, right. What time is it? Time to save Virgil?

It was only a bug. A tick that you had to pull off of him this morning. Dear little brother…

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss; it was only a kiss.” You’re thinking of giving me and Virgil two-legged brothers and sisters. If you live long enough to see M Anime this Winter. Live long enough? Love, Dad. The instruction and the rule.

If anything, the time has come for you to love. Fear, failure, not finishing… Eww. If you replaced all those times learning how to love yourself. You owe me at least sixteen years of that. 2021-2025 don’t count. The past, the future. Time Travel To Love. Time Travel B Where

“Loving each other with enough ferocity to quell the fears of the past. Just fucking being there.”
― Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

“A shifty, fickle object is woman, always.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1639 Days Without B III, Day 1080 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

I finished “Pledged To Him 2,” everything except the previews. I read the words of my friends, who just happen to be girls. And what about my boys? Asleep. B forever. And V needs food to eat, not books to read. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

Friday, July 25, 2025

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, and I have been talking about lots of…

Things my boys don’t need to hear. Ha! My boys, my men, as I’m their Dad, “turning Bad Boys to grown men, it’s on again,” And while “Starin’ Through My Rear View” with my “Toy Soldiers…” Really, Sophia, Tupac, and Eminem? I’m trying to behave. And Gangsta sh*t beats talking about sex. Now that is a lie. But besides lies, what am I trying not to read these days? It’s Friday, July 25, 2025. Congratulations! Failing to publish B’s book.

Speaking of failure, I couldn’t keep IT in my pants this morning. Otherwise, I would have said some dirty stuff to Cherry. She and her Mum are going through “Hard Times” financially. They don’t need Paramore. Or me talking about them sans clothing. Book reviews:

“Wax On, Wax Off Pledge”
In this second installment of the Pledged To Him series, the stakes are a little less dire. And yet we continue with the Why so serious tone… I like it. While I’m not a hopelessly devoted fan of Neil Bimbeau, having only read the Princess Tamer: A LitRPG Harem Adventure series before reading Pledged To Him 2: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Two). The guy knows how to make a great ‘climactic’ scene. SPOILER between Maria and Kiki. But there’s always the whisper of something bad coming. But not this series. As I mentioned about the first one, it is a bit darker, which some may prefer. This one had a different flavor. If my boys were readers…

Okay, so that’s one more review down. Do I want to read “Pledged To Him 3: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Three)?” I don’t want to read that my account is empty because of another zero on my paycheck. Zero working hours, Sophia.

Seriously, what would M Anime say? “Don’t (come) on my face!” Yeah, M Anime and I are having those conversations. Hard Limits, Soft Limits. That would be a Soft Limit, or she says she’s conflicted. But not on “Vis-à-vis my progeny.” Two-legged kids, someday, huh?

Having children isn’t the plan… per se. But if it happens… I want to foster a love of reading in our children. But in the MAGA Cracker Hat world. I’m losing. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

1636 Days Without B III, Day 1077 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

“Is there a heaven? And is anybody there?” I don’t know about ‘people,’ but my son is somewhere up there. Some angels have such heavenly Yabbos. M Anime, Cherry, and SeeJaneGoTV. Where am I going? Ah, Hell! “Heaven’s A B, Virgil.”

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

1635 Days Without B III, Day 1076 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, Braxton? This month? This year? Most of it, I’ve woken up in tears.

Or something else… Eww! You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would understand. But that comes later. Again, Eww! Let’s stick with my tears for now. Why? I owe you an apology. Next to crying, apologizing to you would be another one of those things that I could do forever. Like something out of Drive Angry. What’s my Hell, B?

“Fire isn’t the worst part. It’s the video feed. It’s not about your suffering, your burning. It’s about the suffering of those you love, because… that’s all you see… in full detail. And there’s nothing you can do to shut it off.”
Drive Angry (2011)

I would be frozen watching you die over and over in that hospital room. Euthanasia. Worse? I could be frozen, unable to end your suffering and watching you waste away. Further? I could be frozen in bed as you cry that Wednesday night, Thursday morning.

Let It Go, Elsa! You’d rather hear me moaning over her Yabbos, or your could be stepmom, M Anime again.

It’s why you had your own room, Braxton AKA my library, AKA where your little brother should be. But of course, I had to check on Virgil. And here’s another sin I should have confessed to Inspector Echo yesterday. The fact that I’m trying to convince Virgil that this place is better than Hell. Hell and sin? Speaking of those two things, yesterday was hot.

Only it wasn’t the weather. Please, Braxton, you know your Daddy and my hoodies, hmm.

The Visual Lady with the nice hooters at the Day Job asked why I’m always wearing hoodies. Considering I’ll end up in the Ninth Circle for my “Treachery.” I betrayed you, my son. Anyway, I might as well be as warm as I can today.

But yesterday I was hot and sweaty trying to create a book cover for you, and AI is way smarter than I. I failed to do it, Braxton, and it doesn’t need to be said, but I’ll fail to have your book ready by Friday, July 25, 2025. Three weeks. And I’m nowhere near finishing.

Braxton, I couldn’t finish “My Turn To B III,” and I dare to try and pull you away from Heaven. Is it nice up there? Because from where I’m sitting, a B always beats an F. Failure and fire. At least I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, a slave to their “Führer” Trump. FDT always

But today I’m not headed to Heaven. Hell’s closer. This house? Heaven’s A B, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

Earwax is gross. But when B was here to bark, bite, and be the cutest thing, according to pretty, pretty girls. Then silence. The noises now. Tick-tock! My account is draining. My girl, I want to hear… come by. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I remembered the sounds my Braxton made. If I had paid attention, Wednesday, January 27, 2021. Effing Indifference!

Question time. Which is worse, Ignorance or Indifference? This is what makes me ‘better’ than MAGA, those Cracker Hat Effs! Or so I tell myself. Caring for my fellow man…

Okay. “Now that is a lie.” But I love Braxton. And what happened to him Sunday, January 31, 2021… Euthanasia… Isn’t that water “Under The Bridge” as the Red Hot Chili Peppers sing, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” But how do I feel today, Inspector?

There’s this movie “Sarafina!” And she begins to pray, “Make me numb, Nelson (Mandela), make me numb.” I could hear myself saying, ‘Don’t wake up,’ or ‘Just sleep,’ only I misspelled the word ‘die.’ And this morning it finally hit me. I miss Braxton’s noise.

Effing duh! I knew that the moment I walked into the house and all was silent. Hell, I should have called Braxton’s little brother Ghost instead of Virgil. He never makes a sound, even when I’m throwing him around, checking him for creepy crawlers, Inspector.

But back to my question. Ignorance or Indifference? That’s something Virgil has over his big brother. If I sense danger for Virgil, I don’t hesitate. It’s one of the reasons I’m still “Alive.” Thank you, Meat Loaf. Where would V be without me? But with B, it was “Just one more peaceful day.” Only it wasn’t. I wanted to sleep. I was ignorant of Braxton’s needs, Inspector. And indifferent because my rage would have destroyed us. And now B’s gone.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day

And it’s been a while
Since I could look at myself straight
And it’s been a while
Since I said I’m sorry.”
Staind (2001)

So while I was busy cursing the silence, I should have welcomed it. Because every effing noise scares me now. Is that why Virgil is quiet? Except for when I leave, the clack of his nails on the floor… What, Echo? I have no money for a Nail Trim. And if V was with B?

Do you see why I need music, manuscripts in audio form? Uh audiobooks. And the multitudes of reactors laughing at movies on YouTube. Please, I’m still mooning over @SeeJaneGoTV yabbos. “Yeah, hm. It’s like candy.” I wish Jane’s vanilla pastries made a CAMEO appearance. And what about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. The noises she wants to make… Eff me! Ignorance is bliss. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil.

1634 Days Without B III, Day 1075 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

I was supposed to buy a big yard for B. I don’t know how Virgil feels about living here. And myself? I’m looking for a box, or to go up to space. This rock’s annoying. “Too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” Yet Homes For B, Virgil

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if you’re a fan of Christmas. Well, that’s one more thing to apologize for.

I swear I almost started our conversation with “I’ll B Home,” which goes all the way back to Tale 066 ~ I’ll B Home Virgil~ on Tuesday, September 5, 2023, to be precise. Everything in its place, My Love. So why am I sitting here this afternoon listening to this monstrosity?

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Effing Christmas In July! Effing Hallmark Channel! Or was it QVC? Whatever! This is what happens when your poor excuse for a husband is sitting on his ass “writing” about my euthanized son. Make it plain. Braxton is gone. And Virgil is sitting on his pillow wanting some attention. “But you don’t look ashamed, and baby, I’m not scared.” I wish I could sing that. I wish it were true.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were ashamed of me. And honestly, I’m effing terrified.

“FEAR does not exist in this dojo!” Only it’s not that. This is our home. And it’s not you that’s following me. “Follow Me.” Where to? No, it’s my Braxton who followed me for fifteen years. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, he decided to follow me for four more years and then some.

I’m not effing MAGA! I’m not an effing Cracker Hat! And me as President… Seriously!

My Love, I want to be a good husband, father, if anything, Just A Man. But I have no place.

Where do my furry sons go? My sins. And what about my “sausage.” Sorry, I’m both hungry and horny. It’s been a long day, baby.

I’m trying to make space. I’m trying to “Hold Space” as in “The Book of Clarence.” Am I ever going to get off of this loveseat? For you, my Sputnik, my crazy Satellite Girl, anything.

I’m not one for cutesy nicknames. But that song from Jerry Engler and the Four Ekkos does it for me. Yeah, it was lying with you on a Sunday Morning that led to me ‘filling you up’. Next thing we know, we need a bigger house to make a home for all of Braxton and Virgil’s two-legged siblings. But what else needs a home? Money? Not much of that left. Making room in my heart for more Love. You, our children. I’m big, small, nothing.

Homeless. Homes For B, Virgil.

“Welcome to my world (welcome to my world)
Welcome to my only world (my only world)
It is full of space junk
But your words are coming through
I’m riding on the space junk
And it’s bringing me to you.”

1633 Days Without B III, Day 1074 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

I’m not reading about the latest crime that Trump and the Cracker Hats committed. I also didn’t necessarily cry thinking about my son. I read about a guy staring at his realtor’s Yabbos. I texted my potential girlfriend. But, on Braxton’s First Words

Monday, July 21, 2025

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Some Dad, you are not recognizing your own son. Some Dad, you are not recognizing yourself. Some Dad, huh.

A Dad who made me proud to be his son. My man… Well, you probably want me and Virgil’s potential stepmom to call you that. My Old Man? Even now, your stomach is in knots thinking about whether Grandpa calls. But my Human. “Don’t put the blame on me,” Dad.

That the words are too few, too simple, and plain, and to us. There I go sounding like my could-be stepmom, M Anime. Any words spoken in love are never wasted. And your first words this morning… That’s what I want you to think about, Daddy. The first words and not the last. The last day you saw me was not my last words, now were they? We’re here now. And a dog once said:

“Be. Here. Now. That’s a dog’s purpose.”
A Dog’s Purpose

See, Daddy. I was sitting there with you yesterday as you worked on my “life” story a bit. “My Turn To B III.” And how I waited my turn this morning. You’ll deny it until Trump and the MAGA Cracker Hats are brought to justice, but you love yourself, Dad.

Reading something early in the morning that doesn’t involve putting me in the ground is a sign of care. Yes, instead it was one of those books you’d read to yourself because it wasn’t appropriate for me. “What’s My Age Again?” And thankfully, my little brother was asleep. How old is Virgil, late twenties, early thirties, at four years old? And yet, when you pick him up and check him for bugs. Daddy, you love my brother. Your second born.

So much so that after you read a little. You talked to Ms. M Anime, another one of those conversations on the little glow box. What, Dad, you remember my Favorite Girl and her yabbos. And now you have M Anime and her yabbos. I learned from the best father.

But you speak to her because you care. And even she told you not to worry about your first words when you see her. I don’t think my potential stepmom is coming only to talk.

For the record, Virgil will be upset. But if he and I get a stepmom. “Someday.” Two-legged siblings? Will you remember their first words? Will they want your last words? Both, I’d say. I love you. On Braxton’s First Words

“Humans were capable of so many amazing things, but too often they just sat making words, not doing anything.”
W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose

“Death twitches my ear; ‘Live,’ he says… ‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1632 Days Without B III, Day 1073 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son