Monday, September 14, 2026

Legacy 075 -Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? It’s 3 AM and “whatever bitter brew you’re drinkin’” What, Bloom?

I remember when you were all about 5-hour Energy. All the times when I would get my mid-morning Z’s under the table and your eyes would be stuck on the Glow Box. And you would always tell me how when you were done, we’d have fun and go outside, Dad.

Done? You didn’t mean with the day, the do’s and don’ts; it was a ton of those, I know, right? Being my Dad. Always and Forever my Dad. Like that movie we saw, First Knight:

“Brother to brother, yours in life and death.”
First Knight

That you never need worry about, my father. “I’m Still Here.” “I’m Still Standing,” Dad. Yes, “I’m still standing! I’m still strong!” Like father, like son. And no, I don’t mean everything in the Glow Box. You’ll turn that off.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But buying my brother more French Fries (that’s what you call those fry golden stick things, I like…) My Future Potential Stepmom. And what isn’t to be always and forever:

“It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”

• Michael Kewley –

You’ve been thinking about this a lot, my father. It’s nice to have it defined; at least I know finally. It’s why I always, always, ALWAYS wanted to be so brave. What took me down?

You worry it was your indifference near the end. You worry it was you, period. You worry that there is worry in a place like this, where I am. Always full of worry, my father.

Because you can’t get full of anything else. Food? You’re still worried about walking into the kitchen. Too much fun. Dad, you fuck around plenty.

LANGUAGE! Yes, Dad, I know, I know, watch what I bark. However, you don’t disagree.

And even before you met Miss M Anime or my Favorite Girl, you had your “big sister” who told you why you found it so easy to starve yourself, which is ‘pretty reckless,’ I think.

Look who’s talking, right? I didn’t eat either, and yet I was so full of love for you, of memories of being a good boy, your son, and there was worry, not an ending knowledge.

No, a fear that gnawed away at me. A Black Dog Serenade. Biting, Pulling, Tasting.

However, I raged, Dad, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. I cooked. So much more tastes better than fear. Braxton, Virgil, Worrying Bites

“Still, we have a moment to simply be two men for a little longer, and not worry about how history might view us.”
Logan Jacobs

“The seeds of life – fiery is their force, divine their birth, but they are weighed down by the bodies’ ills… That is the source of all men’s fears and longings, joys and sorrows…”
Aeneid

2052 Days Without B III, Day 1493 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, September 7, 2026

Legacy 068 -B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? Can we pretend, Daddy, just for a little while? Another world:

It’s sometime after 7 AM, Emergence Day. Braxton wakes up. You named your first two-legged son after. Virgil finally has someone else he’s attached to. I know you and my stepmom are ‘busy’. Virgil does his best to wrangle the rest of our siblings in.

Three, as stepmom wanted. Braxton, Willow, and Mirabel. Or perhaps their Braxton, Luke, and Leia? Three daughters… Katniss, Tris (Beatrice, B for Braxton), and Ember.

Dad, the point is Virgil tries to slow them down, and by the time they reach you and stepmom… “Happy Birthday, Daddy!” Three times over. Stepmom still knows better, ha.

“Love Is A Long Road.” And yours has further to go, but Stepmom, the three, my little brother Virgil approaching six. To us that’s 40.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you’re 42. No longer the Slave “41” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums), More like The Bullitts’ “All About You.” Because today is all about you, my father, this life… Existence?

Far from it. Farmland, fields full of flowers, food growing all over thanks to stepmom.

Her greenery. And you, my father? Living a life somewhere between Ryan and his Beauties by Jack Pinkhunter and Bikini Days by Michael Dalton. Do you see my stepmom as such a woman… She’s a woman of the land. You remain a man of leisure. A man of passions. As you sing to my furry little brother, “My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies.” And your work, the discipline, never changes. Not even now. But what has Dad

You don’t want to die today. Above everything else. You’re not yearning to “go up.”

Somehow, someway, you’re not looking to me. You’ll “Never Forget Me.” Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Akon, and Memphis Bleek, sure, but never me. That’s what makes this day easier to bear than the worst day ever. You’ll never accept me being gone, but you can at least, for a while longer, know that you are “Alive.” You’re still breathing, so you can blow those candles out. You can take a breath and be happy (okay, too much to ask), but me, Virgil, and our two-legged siblings are all happy for you being alive. V and my stepmom?

I don’t want to know what you visualize. But Happy Birthday!!! B Visualizing E-Day, Virgil

“When we stop trying to create happiness, happiness comes by itself. It is a common mistake to believe we have to work hard for happiness, or that happiness is conditioned by what we have, and who we are in society. Happiness is the experience of mind when there is no presence of fear. That’s all. It’s simple.”
― Michael Kewley

“Endure, and keep yourselves for days of happiness.”
The Aeneid

2045 Days Without B III, Day 1486 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son