Tag: B III

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

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So, WWE Royal Rumble or dog movies with explosions mixed in and loneliness? Every time I Turn Around, Back In Love Again. Or do I really, really, like her Twins? Is B gone? I ain’t accepting that! Decisions, Decisions. “Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.”

Friday, January 30, 2026

Journey 213 ~Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… As if I’m the Decider in these things. Wasn’t that Bush? My history is somewhat hazy.

“A man chooses, a slave obeys.”
― Andrew Ryan BioShock

Yes, I know “Bioshock.” I know MAGA and Republicans ruin things. They are no longer the party of Lincoln. But what I know most of all today. My son is dead. Well, he was dying this time five years ago. But still, there was so much to write: preparation, A-Hole.

I might as well say it, I’m an “Asshole.” Denis Leary sings it better. But am I an asshole for making bad decisions? Or is it because I decided I’m a doing nothing bum? Duh!

You didn’t come here to make the choice; you’ve already made it. You’re here to understand why you made it.
The Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded

Making the decision and living with it are two entirely different entities. In The End…

Well, Sophia, I’m always wrong. Whatever happened to WWJD? “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Not B III! What Would Braxton Do?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Fight, Feast, and take care of his failure of a father. When have I ever fought? My feast today will probably be McDonald’s. Yes, I said probably. And tomorrow will be more of the same. A burger, and then I have to get BBQ. The traditional meal of Braxton’s Happy Death Day, January 31st, 5th Anniversary. And failure? I’m sitting on the loveseat, and I watch my youngest son. And it helps to pass the time.” Because making any decisions.

Hell! I can say I’m better than MAGA with it. Then again, I sentenced my oldest son, my Braxton, to die. Euthanasia… I hate that word! And I’m still wondering what Virgil’s problem is. I know he’s not Braxton reincarnated. Reading another pet loss book.

Sophia, don’t ask me how I pick out books. It’s like writing “I feel his hand on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let the Lord do his thing”. Braxton? Tupac…

Anyway, as I was telling M Anime or trying to. My words, like decisions, are pretty bad, but as far as the past goes, as Eastman imparted to Morgan in TWD. I wanted to say:

Eastman: “What we’ve done, we’ve done.”
Morgan: “We evade it by moving forward with a code to never do it again.”
Eastman: “To make up for it.”
Morgan: “To still accept what we were.”
Eastman: “To accept everyone… And in doing that, protect yourself.”
TWD

And as much as MAGA wants us all to live “from the age of Big Brother, from the age of doublethink,” the past cannot be undone. I have the present: Virgil, M Anime, and me.

Will I love him? Forgive her? And will I get a burger? Accept Braxton’s loss… Uh… Braxton Decides, Virgil Obeys.

1825 Days Without B III, Day 1266 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

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I didn’t see today like this. Five years ago, I got the call that my son was suffering from kidney failure. And I didn’t expect today I’d hear from another lost love, and “Oops (Oh My)” are those my pants? V and B are outside. “Sit-down And B Virgil”

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

1824 Days Without B III, Day 1265 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Around this time five years ago, I’m sure the answer would be Hell No, Braxton.

You were at the vet’s office. But I was imagining that “Big Beautiful Bill” for them to find out what was wrong with you. First off, Eww! Using the words of that orange doofus in the White House. I’m getting off topic, but someone got on me for using that A-Hole’s words yesterday. Blah, blah, “But that’s okay.” Ragebait. I’ll admit it. For the record…

Your Daddy is hopeless. Anyway, I was lying on this loveseat… Was that my meditation phase, or was I in bed sick, sleeping, or stroking it? Again Eww! Really! Seriously!

Anyway, five years ago today, I still had my world. I had you. However, you were in another’s hands. No guard duty for you, as you were interviewing for Heaven.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell! You could have been saving your strength to take on Cerberus, B. Dad’s Hell-bound?

After what happened to you? No question? Treachery in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Braxton.

But today, seeing “Well, we didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” Ain’t I lying? Honestly.

Braxton, this is definitely one of those times I would have sent you to your room for a while. I can’t say your little brother is “HAPPY” with me either. Virgil is literally hiding under his pillow. What? He had the whole damn loveseat for about an hour while I…

Gave into Sloth before Lust! Standing, lying down, or sitting, I’ll remain a “Lazy Ass.”

Brooms sang “Lazy Ass” best. So if you’re wondering why we’re talking right this minute…

A little while ago, I was standing outside with your little brother. And I was wondering what his malfunction is. He’s been here four years! I haven’t figured Virgil out.

Anyway, when I was thinking of going out, I started talking to M Anime. Don’t give me that look, B. “Here It Goes Again.” Locked doors, gates up, and me trying not to do laundry. Eww! But there’s a reason M Anime was nearly your stepmom, and she’s using two of her “assets” to convince me of her and my misunderstanding. Your Favorite Girl wouldn’t be happy. And me forgiving? I’ve been sitting here for five years, and I’ve never forgiven myself for losing you. $455.96 to find out… You’re dying. Sit-down And B Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 211 ~Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil~

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There’s a house, there’s a home, and then there’s this place. There’s “Fire and Desire,” but it’s all Hell. There are B and V. B’s a spirit, spook, or a specter, and V is a scaredy cat, um, dog. It’s a balancing act. “Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil”

Wednesday, January 28, 2026

Journey 211 ~Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… On this day five years ago, I stood between “rage and serenity.” The middle of the effing road.

The most dangerous place to drive. Really! Movie Quotes! X-Men: First Class vs. They Live. That reminds me. Am I watching dog movies Saturday, or The Mill, Spontaneous, and other things? Tradition, Inspector Echo. Braxton and my movie nights. Memories. Sometimes his Favorite Girl would be here to watch with us. I would read right from this loveseat. I cried my eyes out the first night B III passed. Hell, I sound like MAGA, Echo.

Unlike Trump and the Cracker Hats, I own my sins. Why isn’t Braxton here, Inspector? Because, with these hands, I signed away his life. I couldn’t protect my firstborn. Braxton.

“I’ve abandoned my child! I’ve abandoned my boy!”
Daniel Plainview

I’ve never seen the movie “There Will Be Blood.” But there was—anger at the Day Job, hiding from Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Indifference, my dear Inspector. This is my greatest sin. I don’t want to feel anything.

Man will always choose darkness rather than light. First, do I mean me? And second, I said choose, but there is no choice. I’m scared, I’m sinful in a PURGE sort of way. All crimes, including… And am I sexual? Yeah. I don’t choose. I fall. Tight rope be damned.

If Braxton were here, you could ask him. Good would have been recognizing something was wrong with him and getting help. Eff the Day Job. Bad would have been taking my anger at people out on him. But no, I picked him up and fell asleep—our last good sleep.

Up all night/morning Thursday, I called the vet that afternoon…

And? And! He would be dead by Sunday. All because I couldn’t maintain balance, Echo.

“Sitting in Limbo.” Only now it isn’t the Day Job—love vs. Later. B III vs 2-V They are both my sons, my kids. But between my sister and me. My Old Man clearly chooses her. And I can’t say I blame him. But I’m the same. I mourn Braxton, but where does V stand?

Love vs. Hate. I already told “her” that I don’t hate her. M Anime! Braxton’s Favorite Girl would kick my ass for talking to M Anime now. But between M and I… Rage, Lust, and…

Love? Nah… Braxton would bark I need to choose Love for myself. Life or death? Breathing? Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil

1823 Days Without B III, Day 1264 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 210 ~Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V~

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I’m adding “I’m Sorry” to my list. Words like Happy and Home. And sometimes even the word Love. We say these things and then what? It’s complicated. I want to be and mean more. But first forgiveness. For what? A lot. “Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V”

Tuesday, January 27, 2026

Journey 210 ~Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And how long has that been again? Am I asking to die? Uh, this week?

As much as I believe I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell, I have hope. Such mad hope, but there it is. I may see my son again. My B III. But what about you, our kids, and 2-V?

But first there’s you. Ok, I’m lying. First, there was/is my Braxton. My firstborn son.

Babydoll, “I Knew I Loved You before I met you.” Only I can say the same thing to B III.

“I’m sorry.” Two more words I’ve been thinking a lot about this week. Braxton’s last. That was five years ago, of course. Has Braxton forgiven me for what happened? Death.

McDonald’s doesn’t deliver to the Rainbow Bridge. But with enough time, Braxton would forgive me. A good track record, right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Love Is A Long Road.” As long as “Rainbow Road?” Our children, and that’s Virgil too, deserve better than a man like me. A man who can never forgive the boy who grew up to be me. Would it honor Braxton if I could adopt his teaching? Like adopting Virgil.

Honestly, he’s mine, ours, everything we have. Yet “I’m feelin’ like a prisoner. Like a stranger in a no named town.” And “Nobody Knows it but me.” “What’ve I’ve Done?”

Hell! I should apologize for all the music I’m quoting. Why? I’m not MAGA. FDT! Apologizing to this forty-one-year-old man that I am. What does it do? Whose it for?

Seriously, my dearest Love, it would do nothing. It would mean nothing. I hate myself.

“Only you?” Should you apologize, or shall I? What if we both conceded, concur, and come apart in each other’s arms? Submit, surrender, and swear to each other that what’s done is done, and we can try never to hurt each other again. But we will. It’s Love, always and forever. I could never hate you. Though the term hatefuck comes to mind. And why.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? More like “A Hard’s Day Night.” Cruelty? Darling, you can be so “Heartless.” I mourn my son always and forever. And I can’t ask you to mourn a dead man. We’d both be saying we’re sorry until we’re blue in the face, and then what? I love you. Braxton’s Forgiveness Lessons V

1822 Days Without B III, Day 1263 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

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If my boy then knew what his Dad knows now. But I don’t blame B. Especially this week. There is always so much noise. The Day Job, the snoring of Braxton’s little doggy bro. And is that the damn phone? And now Braxton’s silence. B’s Last Bark Virgil.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? How many times have you cried today? Three? A coincidence? Does it matter?

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Adam Ewing, David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas

Not enough ocean to drown in. Not enough to sail to come and “Find Me.” Nowhere near enough to cleanse everything. New beginning? M Anime, Virgil. Man In The Mirror?

Daddy. My father. You haven’t heard the last of me. My name? Braxton BARKS Bradford.

It’s all you can hear right now, but what am I saying? “Every Breath You Take.” Every beat of your heart. But you know what I really miss? Well, I am my father’s son. Always.

The noise, the silence, and everything in between those two ears of yours. Daddy’s brain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I hope you don’t mind me saying this. Actually, it’s Forrest Gump anyway. Dear Daddy:

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump

Again, I am my father’s son, and you’re better than this. Don’t think you are…

Know. No? Not this week anyway. Couldn’t you pick the day I ate your French Toast or Waffles? And the day after, when you protected your pancakes. And I got my nickname. “I love you like pancakes,” you would say, “but you have to calm down.” How about the day I jumped into that rolling thing of yours? I wasn’t the only one who hated that. And I can understand why you were always so angry when you came back from “Wherever You Will Go.” But I didn’t know what I was supposed to bark at. So there was silence.

Dad, I would watch you sleep and make sure whatever was chasing you stayed away.

Only I don’t know what that is now, or rather…

She walked, ran, or got effed five months down the road. I know, Dad, Language! You’ve told me I would have liked her, but I’m not sure. Virgil is trying his best. But M Anime, my potential stepmom, you called her. That’s when you began to feel love once more.

That bitch! Again, I’m minding my barks. But she got you “Smokin Out The Window.” And you wouldn’t call her such-and-such. But another reason I’m mad is this. What happens when you get hurt, Dad? You told my Favorite Girl that you can’t imagine any worse pain than yours truly. And so I need to bark loud enough to overcome the boohoo’s, the bawling, and be your boy, always. Woof, woof! B’s Last Bark Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Arma Virumque Cano”
(I sing of arms and the man.)
(Book I, opening line) Aeneid

1821 Days Without B III, Day 1262 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

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Bye-bye, Love. Things I can say about my dog and my ex-girlfriend. But this week, I should be reading all about her. My effable, breedable ex. But somebody else is living that dream. I’m reading fictional accounts. If only B knew. B’s In Love, Virgil

Friday, January 23, 2026

Journey 206 ~B’s In Love, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And not share a review? I’m not in the mood. And I’ve already cried twice today.

One of those being from an effing mobile game. 2:30 in the effing morning for a forty-one-year-old to play Whiteout Survival. I can’t handle rejection anymore. Braxton accepted me. Barking, “You want… every… single second.” That was my son, my Braxton. But no, I won’t be watching 2004’s Dawn of the Dead on the 31st. I don’t think. Doggy movies… Only I’ve gotten into watching The Mill (2023) and Spontaneous (2020). And why is that?

It doesn’t matter, and it’s next week’s problem. Last night, the question was, what’s next?

Do I continue with Pledged To Him 9: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Nine), or A Life Together: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (The House Husband’s Harem Book 3)? Then there’s Braxton…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I could honor my boy by reading Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!: How to Communicate With Pets In The Afterlife, Understand Signs & Why You Will See Them Again. How does that honor B III, again? And V is only five. Four of which have been in abject terror.

Try “forty-one stony gray steps towards the grave. You know the box.” Pop Culture ha!

Because I don’t want to talk about M Anime. Her story or stories? Effing incredible.

Sophia, if I remember nothing else about her, M Anime had a breeding kink you wouldn’t believe. So is that why I was crying last night? I would have been leaking another bodily fluid. Eww! But I was reading about Jackson Breeding his bride-to-be, Yukiko.

It was women like Yukiko Tanaka, Tia Tanaka, Syren, Lulu Chu, and let’s not forget Hentai that got me into Asian women. And if we talk about brunettes… Forever Ever!

But anyway, Breeding. That’s what M Anime and I should be doing right now. Saturday?

She’ll be married to someone else if she isn’t married right now. Why’s that, Sophia?

Breeding. She wanted children. I wrote, okay, so babies. If anything, I was just surprised.

So either she can’t read, or I can’t write. In either case, she’s “Gone.” And so I torture myself with her words, my depraved wants, and Latina women, if you’ve ever wondered about the covers. B would have loved her and Virgil… Not right! Not write! B’s In Love, Virgil

1818 Days Without B III, Day 1259 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

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“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you, and it hurts like hell.” I’ve been singing that a lot: my firstborn, my potential missus. Then I’m reading about a guy with three women. All brides? Where’s my woman? B would’ve known. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

1817 Days Without B III, Day 1258 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Well, I’m sitting next to Virgil. Not your Favorite Girl or M Anime.

But your brother, who was asleep last night, gratefully as I read “Pledged To Him 8: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Eight)” by Neil Bimbeau. Or he was faking it, waiting for me to go to bed. I woke up at 3:45 AM with all the lights on…

Anyway, this is more a conversation for Lady Sophia, but “we men, ain’t we? Glory! Anyway, so I’m reading, and you know your Dad. I’m like an effing Oracle! I have a nose for books. And each one tells me exactly what I need to hear. A man who lost his wife gains a harem and marries a group of his girls. Three to be precise. Two blondes, but an Asian girl is number one.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So M Anime? She was my number one. But she was from Puerto Rico. We’ll get to that B III.

Only I was thinking that the closest I ever had to a harem was your Favorite Girl, M Anime, and Cherry. I’ll never forget how you chose your Favorite Girl. You hated her for months and then sometime in April… Not to be confused with “Sometimes in April.” That movie was effed up and a true story. Braxton, your Favorite Girl, lay on the loveseat and covered her face. I let you go. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

“I got a snow bunny and a black girl, too. You pay the right price. and they’ll both do you.”

Kidding! But you sniff her all over and next thing you know, you’re besties. Traitor.

Again, kidding! That’s for next week. But you love her.

You would be going on twenty-one this year. I wish you were here, son. I’d have to place you on M Anime, and you could have sniffed her out. I would have kicked her out…

Yeah, right! Yabbos blind Your Daddy. Some nice melons, and who cares what you think? All I know is I “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you,” well, M Anime this week. You are my son. Your Favorite Girl and I were “Just Friends. But M Anime? “I’ll Be His Misses.”

Braxton, she ain’t singing that to me. She’s not my Anya Jenkins, Julia, or Melina.

Honestly, your Dad is Forty-One and maidenless. And I’ll never be, buy three engagement rings rich. But you remain. And Virgil. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

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Last week I said I wanted to put my head under the covers. Wouldn’t that be WHITE of me? Scared and wearing bedsheets over my face… Excuse me, their effing MAGA hats. But no, I want to be seen, crying over my son and my girl. B Needs Blankets, Virgil

Wednesday, January 21, 2026

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What? Have I not given Braxton and M Anime the wall-to-wall mourning and misery they deserve? Blanket coverage?

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Inigo, The Princess Bride

Thank you, Inigo Montoya, but I have bigger sins. Three if I’m specific. Although SIGH…

“Sigh No More.” Well, not until E-Day anyway. But the fact that I’ve had Forty-One E-Days (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums) is a sin in and of itself. The fact that I’m breathing, that I don’t want to be, that “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” “Sometimes, yet I still pretend.” That brings me back to the big two, Inspector. “Love and Happiness?”

Without my son, Braxton. Without my girl, M Anime. Why aren’t we talking about them?

I swear at the Day Job, I wanted to scream out, “My son is dead!” I could play his songs…

Next week? Am I trying to get fired? Beats Frozen.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And while we’re on the subject of Elsa and Anna… Day One? Eww. Relax, Inspector, it wasn’t those sisters that got me off this afternoon. But it wasn’t M Anime either. And that’s my point right there. What am I planning for this week and Saturday? As if grieving is supposed to be a surprise. I’ve mourned Braxton for going on five years. But the woman I was going to marry, potentially, and who was going to have my children.

Inspector, this is new. So I thought I would dance to the two songs I dedicate to her. Those are: “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas and “King of Wishful Thinking” by Go West. Hmm.

Sorry, I’m not Rick Grimes. I lost my family, Inspector.

“You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.”
Spoken by Delmar O’Donnell

And thank you as well, Delmar O’Donnell. Or should I speak as Prince Hector did, with all the honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country? Braxton was more than a prince. He was my little god. And I failed him as I fail his little brother Virgil.

Woman? My woman? She’s married or is about to be married to someone else in Georgia, Georgia… So close and yet so far. But I’ve been thinking of that Ludacris tune for weeks, Inspector. Earworm? Like “I’m only a man in a silly red sheet.” I’m not her Superman, E.

It’s not easy to be me, Inspector. “I’m only a man in a funny red sheet. My country? Eff MAGA! But B Needs Blankets, Virgil

1816 Days Without B III, Day 1257 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

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She’s not here, and I doubt she’ll ever be. And how many years were M Anime and I friends to suddenly go, now you’re just “Somebody That I Used To Know.” I knew B practically his whole life. But no wife or kids here. Me, Virgil… “Just B Here Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 20, 2026

Journey 203 ~Just B Here Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? So why play “Things You Can Say About Your Dog But Not Your Girlfriend” Wife?

“Be Here Now.” Isn’t that from “A Dog’s Purpose”? That reminds me… WTF! I should read yet another book about dog loss next week. Currently, I’m reading another HaremLit book, but we’ll get to that. Like Sunday, January 31, 2021, Saturday, August 13, 2022, Forty-One Effing E-Days. But “You And Me?” I swear I didn’t want to cry today. Effing Lifehouse! Effing Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who would I be if that day went differently?

A “Lonely Soul” sitting in the middle of a “Mad World.” Me and the mutt? Do I mean Braxton’s little brother, Virgil? Tarnished and maidenless, a “geek” playing Elden Ring. Not even a man? Land? No, fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. And some make me out to be androgynous…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

No! You, my love, know I’m all man. But if you weren’t here… Hell, I’d love to be Johnny Sins. I’d fornicate till my cock turns blue. Effing my way across the seven seas. Forever?

If I didn’t have you, my love, I’d end up like Kaoru from Slaves to Passion/Hana Dorei. I would lose myself to… Beautiful but boring. Did I mention I’m reading “Pledged To Him 8” by Neil Bimbeau? What woman would let me have such a life? Cuck, Harem, and more.

How many women do I know who would allow a harem? Well, there’s you, mistress… Have we gotten there yet? Is that something we could both be here for? Because what caused Sunday, August 24, 2025. I still don’t know.

Children? I want to be a father, you want to be a mother, and what comes next? B and V?

They get to be big brothers. Chihuahuas and all. Like Braxton, “You Are Not Here.”

Honestly? That’s what I tell myself every morning, and then I’m proven wrong. My sin?

“Too sexy for my love. Love’s going to leave me.” Yeah, that’s funny. If anything, I haven’t been here for all the days that I’ve mentioned. I haven’t left the exam table where Braxton died. I haven’t risen from the loveseat the first day I got Virgil, and gasped, “What have I done?” I haven’t left the bed since “the breakup.” Or the place where I was born. But I’m expected. Just B Here Virgil

1815 Days Without B III, Day 1256 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

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I Have A Dream. Most days, I’m less Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and more Bing from Fifteen Million Merits. My last dream involved yabbos and fake ones at that. M Anime’s aren’t. And B loved his Favorite Girl’s pair. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

Monday, January 19, 2026

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? Yes, I dared to ask. Whatever. Don’t. Silence. But “I Have A Dream.”

Or I will when you wrap your arms around me and fall asleep like the last week we were together. But that’s not now… No, next week. SIGH, five years. But this week, my father.

It will be five months since another dream… Died? No, she is very much alive, last you knew. Learning about the Birds and the Bees. Dicks and Vaginas? Yes, I know, Dad, that is like so cringe. You had to give me “The Talk” when my Favorite Girl visited us.

However, your Favorite Girl. You left mine alone, and it’s not Cherry. But M Anime. Daddy, I’m not here to say, I told you so, or I informed you thusly. The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Or a box of chicken. I don’t want to talk about the Glow Box directly. The Last of Us, The Big Bang Theory, and you’re still on about “The Running Man.” And what about Virgil? You compared yourself and my little brother to “The Long Walk—cold, Long, and Sad.

But I Have A Dream today! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? If you could bring someone back, my father, it would be me. And you are the best man I know. But neither of our dreams would be for the best of everyone. I’m sure you don’t mind me barking, FDT, eff MAGA, all of the Cracker Hats! But what’s my dream? I heard yours yesterday, and while I like girls after touching their yabbos…

Love! You told me that if life is a game for everyone, love is not the prize, it is this…

Instructions. I mastered that the first time we walked together. Ray and Pete, Dad and Me. Not The Long Walk but a walk. Soon it will be you and V. You and my siblings with two legs. Some woman who isn’t M. And ending this week, Dear Heaven, Dear Father.

I have a dream that when you finish your books about her and when my books are everywhere, you’ll realize you “Can’t Me Now.” And you don’t want M anymore.

Honestly, Daddy, I Have A Dream you will rise, writing, women, and wealth. And all with my little brother. A family. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

“Let B III stay, that’s all.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and…

“Sleep, the gentlest of the gods, crept down and poured forgetfulness upon his eyes.”
Aeneid

1814 Days Without B III, Day 1255 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son