Tag: Noise

Journey 034 ~From Cell-B To Sail~

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“When you’re dreaming with a broken heart. The waking up is the hardest part,” as the song goes. It feels like I’m empty inside… Tears, sweat, and Bisquick—eww! What a mess. The door’s open, but where would I go? B’s gone. “From Cell-B To Sail.”

Monday, August 4, 2025

Journey 034 ~From Cell-B To Sail~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And like my father before me, I am not a businessman. I’d trade two wings for two legs. Really!

I know, Dad, that’s not funny. But the last time I got such attention from you, I was getting fitted for said wings. And now you’re sitting there, Daddy, where I always used to watch you. But it’s not out of the joy you once had. The dreams you shared with me. The desire or passion. No, Dad, what got you out of bed since my furry behind is a six-legged creature? Lots of them…

“Carpenter Ants,” you said. Where I once stood and you waited for me to ask to come inside, you now scream like David Arquette from Eight-Legged Freaks, “Get back, you (six-legged) freaks!” I remember when I fought beside during an ant invasion long ago. SIGH

They weren’t that big, though. But you are my father.

“We Are Growing.” Yes, we are growing, Dad. “You and me, always and forever.” Do you remember singing that song from The Wannadies? There was Margaret Singana’s song too. And I have another one for you, “Don’t Look Down,” by David Ryan Harris. I am my father’s son. And maybe the reason your heart has remained broken since… Well I…

Anyway, I think it’s stayed like that to teach you to stand like I did. You know I did, Papa.

Right up to the end, I would not fall until you told me you loved me, and it was okay.

Don’t go crying again, Dad, you already did that before you had to walk my little brother Virgil. He had to go somewhere, didn’t he?

Right into your broken heart and sensing that the water was fine, he’s invited others. You still care for my Favorite Girl, Dad. And you have me and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, to consider. And speaking of cells, blood, and genes. The MAGA Cracker Hats have been going crazy over Sydney Sweeney. If you and M Anime ‘played’ together.

Honestly, that’s Virgil’s problem. And I’ll find other things to do on the Rainbow Bridge. I don’t need to see you pouring the Bisquick and making pancakes with my stepmom.

Eww! But “I’ll Be” and I’m sure Virgil will be happy to have two-legged siblings going Knock, Knock on our Papa’s door because life isn’t a cell, Daddy. You are free. From Cell-B To Sail

“Good morning, Papa.”
And my papa he would tell me that he loved me
We shared a game
Knock Knock”
Knock Knock ― Daniel Beaty

“I knew your devotion would prevail over all the rigour of the journey and bring you to your father”
Virgil

1646 Days Without B III, Day 1087 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 033 ~Anime’s Lost Woods B-V~

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I spoke of “Future Mouths” last week, didn’t I? I was thinking more to the point of having two-legged kids with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, not ants eating the house. How am I eating with gaming and gardening? Anime’s Lost Woods B-V.

Sunday, August 3, 2025

Journey 033 ~Anime’s Lost Woods B-V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you must be lost. Relax, I was the same. Sitting at the table watching for ants.

Two things about the statement. One, did I tell you to relax, to stay calm and carry on? I’ll tell ya, even if this was Wakanda, “we don’t do that here.” Carpenter ants? Effing horrible.

This leads you to two. The last thing you want to hear about is a “Carpenter” anything. “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” And if you’re ready for some Sunday blasphemy… Eff him too! He may have turned water into wine, but he didn’t save your firstborn son, B.

Speaking of “Someone You Loved.” Have you cried for Braxton today? How is Little V?

Are those bug bites becoming bleeding scabs from all my scratching? I’m sorry about that. And for blowing a load, a streak. Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 3: (His Sorority Harem Book Three)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Um, Eww! That’s what I get for staring at Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, sans her clothing. And then there are all the moms in Saimin Seishidou: Reika Kurashiki, Tsubaki Miyajima, and Natsumi Obata. What about the WWE’s Roxanne Perez? Everyone knows the WWE has signed on with the effing MAGA Cracker Hats!

Blood, sweat, and tears, right? Cum on! Again, Eww! But ‘existence’ is “The Long Walk” in “The Evil Forest.” Seriously, a Richard Bachman/Stephen King and Final Fantasy IX reference. And here’s one more… AHEM The Lost Woods in “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.” How you long to lose yourself in the fantasy. Your wood in the forest/bush of M Anime. Does she shave? Find out. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 4: (His Sorority Harem Book Four)… Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What, like in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z? Enough! What is with all the literary and anime references? Besides the girl you’re hoping to have. Please, you won’t be getting any pay this week. Only one day at the Day Job. What else is there? You’re effing petrified.

No wonder you can’t cry. You’ll cry for Braxton this week. Yesterday I didn’t want tears mixing with the insecticide, and I was sweating chopping down a tree… Parts anyway. The Carpenter Ants are destroying the wood of Braxton and Virgil’s home. You’re poisoning and chopping up the Carpenter Ants habitat, hopefully. War against nature.

M Anime wouldn’t be happy. But she’s more interested in that stone in your pants. Eww! Anime’s Lost Woods B-V

1645 Days Without B III, Day 1086 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

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It took a week for ants to destroy the house. I was seven when I humiliated myself on E-Day. When did I discover sleeping pills? When did my maid decide she was done? B was euthanized four years ago. Why can’t I take off? Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have stock in Star Wars, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. Today’s word: “BUGS!”

Sad, right? I am so sick and tired of being sad. The only question is, what am I crying about today? Don’t worry, Lady Lunalesca, we’ll get to the sick part. Yes, I’ll always be sad about my little boy, Braxton. But as I sit here at the dining room table, my eyes are shooting daggers at the wood the Carpenter Ants chewed through. I think about Braxton barking away.

It wouldn’t do much good, like all the products I bought yesterday to exterminate the ants. So much so, I forgot to buy things like water, peanut butter, actual butter, etc. As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel STUPID.” STUPID is sad, scared, and sick together.

Lunalesca, I don’t want to be sad anymore. But Virgil…

Scared? You’re damn right, I’m afraid, which is why I’m sitting here at the table, going out to spray anytime I see a speck of black. I might as well join the MAGA Cracker Hats demonizing black and brown people. Again, for me it’s “BUGS! BUGS!” It’s like something out of Helldivers II, and this is the Massacre of Malevelon Creek. A little late to the party. To think so many months before Lunalesca, I wanted a PS5. Effing STUPID!

Now I’m thinking of saving my ass from my Old Man when he sees this. What’s My Age Again? I’m old enough to have an effing workday, fix a fence, and hire people to stop the Carpenter Ants from destroying my boys’ home. But breathing…

Sickens me. I am sick, Lady Lu. The Walking Dead. And not one bug bite has been enough to release me from the mortal coil. Careful… AI has been dinging me for my ideas lately.

But you don’t know what it’s like, Lady Lunalesca. My STUPIDITY. The FEAR. A cure?

My son, of course. Braxton gave me courage I didn’t know I had. Saving, Protecting.

Where’s Braxton? A box on the nightstand and hopefully somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil’s sleeping on his pillow. Thankfully, he’s bug-free. But this building…

Lunalesca, home? Invaded. And I couldn’t sleep until around 3 this morning. The idea of sex with M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmother. Taking off. She keeps me awake and alive. Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

1644 Days Without B III, Day 1085 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

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Ants and “High Hopes.” Forget the plants; they chewed through the bottom of the door. B III’s Favorite Girl, his “aunt,’ has High Hopes for me. But my real sister—she’ll be an aunt. If M Anime and I “Marvin Gaye” and get it on. B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

1642 Days Without B III, Day 1083 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up right on time, and I’m still late talking to you. So today?

Buggy and sad. I did cower under the covers longer than I should. Sunrise was at 5:58 AM, and I wanted to be up at 5:45 AM. I wasn’t. I’ve said a few times this week that your Dad is a coward. Why can’t I just be lazy? As a matter of fact, why can’t I just die, B III?

So I cower and can’t die, so what’s left? “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” But again, I got started early. As soon as I got out of bed to walk your little brother. Only I wasn’t crying about him or you. Your Favorite Girl, your aunt, ain’t here. And neither is your and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Though she texted. Porn doesn’t bug her. Yay!

First off, EWW! But give me a woman who wants it rough like Ariella Ferrera and ‘dirty’ like Tsubaki Miyajima from Saimin Seishidou. It’s how you get two-legged siblings, B.

What about your little brother, Virgil? I didn’t forget to check him for bugs today.

However, what about the rest of the house? I don’t have to worry about giving him the talk about the birds and the bees. Uh, yeah. Your brother has no balls. So why do I?

Seriously, ants are destroying the house. Is that why I was crying? I look at what has become of your territory, Braxton, and it’s more like you’re the father and I am the son today.

Denethor and I’m your Faramir. You couldn’t be so cruel.

It’s one of the traits I’m glad you didn’t inherit from me. My cruelty and indifference mean that I don’t give a crap. My cowardice. “Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!” That wouldn’t be you, Braxton. It wouldn’t be M Anime. How can I tell her like Zapp, “I Want to Be Your Man.” And at the same time, “I am lucky if I learn to read and write.. Where I live, you must first learn to stand and fight.” To be a “Superhero” like New Power Generation sings about. But I’m a “Blankman.” How can I eff M Anime, be a father, and have a family? Your aunt would be proud. Ants should die. I’m crying. And bugged!

B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

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If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

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There’s no time. If I could go back to the moment I heard Braxton cry, I’d rush him to the vet. Like when he stepped on a pinecone or something… And now I have time to pick bugs off his brother or stare at his stepmom’s yabbos. Time Travel B Where.

Monday, July 28, 2025

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I didn’t have to sit on your head for once. But I’m always on your mind. Right, Dad?

Bedtime, book time, even boob time. Speaking of which, how’s my Favorite Girl? You’ve been talking to Cherry a lot. And what about ‘your’ Favorite Girl, my and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I’m starting to understand why you shut me out of certain things, Dad. As you told me all the time, “I love you like pancakes.” But I under no circumstances want to see you pouring the Bisquick to make pancakes… Me and Virgil’s, two-legged siblings. There’s no time for that, you’d say with my Favorite Girl around.

Honestly, where does the time go? That was one of my many questions on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It’s time to go home. But this doesn’t look like home. Somewhere I can only watch from.

And there’s always time to watch you. There’s always time to do something. Like love?

In our memories of the past. In our dreams of the future. But Dad, as you would say, “I’m here.” “Here and Now” “We Found Love,” in a hopeless place. I found it in you.

We’re still, and we will always and forever be father and son. And like father, like son, we’re running together. Me to one side of the Rainbow Bridge. And you into the grave, my father. Meet me in the middle? Where would that be? There’s a reason I was Neo.

He is trapped in a place between this world and the machine world. All I can do is tell you that your friend needs your help. He needs all our help.
― The Matrix Revolutions

How long did that last before my Grandma gave me the name Braxton? That’s me.

Timeless, right. What time is it? Time to save Virgil?

It was only a bug. A tick that you had to pull off of him this morning. Dear little brother…

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss; it was only a kiss.” You’re thinking of giving me and Virgil two-legged brothers and sisters. If you live long enough to see M Anime this Winter. Live long enough? Love, Dad. The instruction and the rule.

If anything, the time has come for you to love. Fear, failure, not finishing… Eww. If you replaced all those times learning how to love yourself. You owe me at least sixteen years of that. 2021-2025 don’t count. The past, the future. Time Travel To Love. Time Travel B Where

“Loving each other with enough ferocity to quell the fears of the past. Just fucking being there.”
― Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

“A shifty, fickle object is woman, always.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1639 Days Without B III, Day 1080 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 026 ~Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, it was the MAGA Cracker Hats spewing BS. This week, I’m watching people starve in Gaza. “Watch World War Three On Pay TV,” indeed. I would share my jelly beans. Don’t I have peanuts? Me and my big mouth. Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Journey 026 ~Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’d tell you to brush your teeth, but bigger fish to fry this week. Ah, fish!

When’s the last time you’ve had anything besides a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish or some popcorn shrimp? And now you’re craving catfish. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nine hours!

Honestly, what are you going to do with it other than talk to pretty, pretty girls? You’re no “Beast Of Burden.” And that is exactly this week’s problem. You have another goose egg when it comes to working hours. Which would be fine if it were “Only You.” Join Braxton.

But you would rather stare at Yabbos than write like Yazoo. And while you love Braxton like pancakes and Virgil… Love doesn’t put food in their mouths. Braxton wasn’t eating. And well, he’s gone. Virgil has been eating more. I’ve tried fattening him up while I failed Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 2: (His Sorority Harem Book Two)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Have you cried because of my failures yet? It’s okay if you can’t “Say” what you need to say like John Mayer. You would rather be eating more than twenty-seven jelly beans and a cup of cappuccino. And as long as Virgil has food and water. You can’t have him ending up like Braxton. But that was Braxton’s choice, a product of the disease that led to “The Long Walk.” Kidney failure… Seriously, though, you would rather embark on Stephen King’s/Richard Bachman’s “The Long Walk” than the aisle to Banfield Pet Hospital ever again. But V isn’t barking out any pain. So what can you say? Honestly, what say you?

“I Wanna F*ck You” to your boys’ potential stepmom M Anime. Or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 3: (His Sorority Harem Book Three)… Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Completed? Again, it’s been nine hours and you’ve already failed #6. You don’t have the money for #5. Your novel for Braxton, “My Turn To B III,” cancels out #3. If Cherry gets desperate enough to show off her Yabbos, that’s failing #4. Of course, M Anime shows hers off for free. That’s what potential stepmoms of furry children do. So the first two hm.

Reading a book about Yabbos and then remembering once upon a time, Braxton barked because you came back for him. The day of the writing in the sky, “Letters From The Sky” that needs to see the page so you can give B III, 2-V, and your women something real.

Peace, Progeny, a Purpose. Uh, food. Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil

1638 Days Without B III, Day 1079 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

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Ants have high hopes, right? Or all bugs. I saw one carrying something white, an egg or something, but it was a piece of the house… I check Virgil for bugs that might bring him down. Trading our lives for theirs? B Trade With Virgil.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Every day that becomes an even bigger lie. I might as well be a Cracker Hat.

A sell-out, a sucker, a slave to MAGA. FDT! I don’t want to talk about him today. But “Here I Am!” What the EFF does that even mean other than the fact I want to be Bryan Adams? What does it mean when my dog, death, or my dame… Dame? Do I mean Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? “Someday,” she’ll “Find Me,” Luna.

But will I still be here? No money, masonry skill, and being “Manly.” I’m only that in the bedroom or wherever M Anime and I decide to Marvin Gaye and get it on, dear Lunalesca.

That comes later if I can stop quoting music. And what about crying over Braxton?

Lunalesca, I’ve cried today because learning any type of trade…

It’s just so hard. I should stop thinking about Cherry’s yabbos as well. What M Anime isn’t my girl… yet. And Cherry doesn’t want me. However, I’ve been talking to her a lot over the past few days. She’s been betrayed. Is that too much Lunalesca? She was possibly robbed, maybe. You know how I feel about the tech world. I shed a few tears about that last night in bed. “Be Not So Fearful.” If I were a Jack of all Trades and wasn’t surrounded by traitors, Lunalesca. Yes, Eff MAGA, Eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! But what am I going to do?

Offer her money for her Yabbos? I am so broke yet buying more books. And never forget, I betrayed Braxton.

I couldn’t save my firstborn son. And as far as my second-born son, Virgil. Braxton’s little brother is bug-free. And what about the rest of the house? I need to clean up Lunalesca. Prison, tomb…

Why? August 13th is Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” I don’t want to remember “September.” And now I see that “The Long Walk” is coming out on September 12th. Should I survive that effing month, “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” I’ll be “Gone Till November.” Will M Anime be here by then? Or sometime at “The Closing Of The Year.” I’m trading my time right now for what? The man I am for a man I could be. Not crying for Braxton and being in M Anime’s panties. Loving, Living, I’m here B Trade With Virgil.

1637 Days Without B III, Day 1078 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

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“Is there a heaven? And is anybody there?” I don’t know about ‘people,’ but my son is somewhere up there. Some angels have such heavenly Yabbos. M Anime, Cherry, and SeeJaneGoTV. Where am I going? Ah, Hell! “Heaven’s A B, Virgil.”

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

1635 Days Without B III, Day 1076 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, Braxton? This month? This year? Most of it, I’ve woken up in tears.

Or something else… Eww! You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would understand. But that comes later. Again, Eww! Let’s stick with my tears for now. Why? I owe you an apology. Next to crying, apologizing to you would be another one of those things that I could do forever. Like something out of Drive Angry. What’s my Hell, B?

“Fire isn’t the worst part. It’s the video feed. It’s not about your suffering, your burning. It’s about the suffering of those you love, because… that’s all you see… in full detail. And there’s nothing you can do to shut it off.”
Drive Angry (2011)

I would be frozen watching you die over and over in that hospital room. Euthanasia. Worse? I could be frozen, unable to end your suffering and watching you waste away. Further? I could be frozen in bed as you cry that Wednesday night, Thursday morning.

Let It Go, Elsa! You’d rather hear me moaning over her Yabbos, or your could be stepmom, M Anime again.

It’s why you had your own room, Braxton AKA my library, AKA where your little brother should be. But of course, I had to check on Virgil. And here’s another sin I should have confessed to Inspector Echo yesterday. The fact that I’m trying to convince Virgil that this place is better than Hell. Hell and sin? Speaking of those two things, yesterday was hot.

Only it wasn’t the weather. Please, Braxton, you know your Daddy and my hoodies, hmm.

The Visual Lady with the nice hooters at the Day Job asked why I’m always wearing hoodies. Considering I’ll end up in the Ninth Circle for my “Treachery.” I betrayed you, my son. Anyway, I might as well be as warm as I can today.

But yesterday I was hot and sweaty trying to create a book cover for you, and AI is way smarter than I. I failed to do it, Braxton, and it doesn’t need to be said, but I’ll fail to have your book ready by Friday, July 25, 2025. Three weeks. And I’m nowhere near finishing.

Braxton, I couldn’t finish “My Turn To B III,” and I dare to try and pull you away from Heaven. Is it nice up there? Because from where I’m sitting, a B always beats an F. Failure and fire. At least I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, a slave to their “Führer” Trump. FDT always

But today I’m not headed to Heaven. Hell’s closer. This house? Heaven’s A B, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

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I was supposed to buy a big yard for B. I don’t know how Virgil feels about living here. And myself? I’m looking for a box, or to go up to space. This rock’s annoying. “Too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” Yet Homes For B, Virgil

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if you’re a fan of Christmas. Well, that’s one more thing to apologize for.

I swear I almost started our conversation with “I’ll B Home,” which goes all the way back to Tale 066 ~ I’ll B Home Virgil~ on Tuesday, September 5, 2023, to be precise. Everything in its place, My Love. So why am I sitting here this afternoon listening to this monstrosity?

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Effing Christmas In July! Effing Hallmark Channel! Or was it QVC? Whatever! This is what happens when your poor excuse for a husband is sitting on his ass “writing” about my euthanized son. Make it plain. Braxton is gone. And Virgil is sitting on his pillow wanting some attention. “But you don’t look ashamed, and baby, I’m not scared.” I wish I could sing that. I wish it were true.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were ashamed of me. And honestly, I’m effing terrified.

“FEAR does not exist in this dojo!” Only it’s not that. This is our home. And it’s not you that’s following me. “Follow Me.” Where to? No, it’s my Braxton who followed me for fifteen years. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, he decided to follow me for four more years and then some.

I’m not effing MAGA! I’m not an effing Cracker Hat! And me as President… Seriously!

My Love, I want to be a good husband, father, if anything, Just A Man. But I have no place.

Where do my furry sons go? My sins. And what about my “sausage.” Sorry, I’m both hungry and horny. It’s been a long day, baby.

I’m trying to make space. I’m trying to “Hold Space” as in “The Book of Clarence.” Am I ever going to get off of this loveseat? For you, my Sputnik, my crazy Satellite Girl, anything.

I’m not one for cutesy nicknames. But that song from Jerry Engler and the Four Ekkos does it for me. Yeah, it was lying with you on a Sunday Morning that led to me ‘filling you up’. Next thing we know, we need a bigger house to make a home for all of Braxton and Virgil’s two-legged siblings. But what else needs a home? Money? Not much of that left. Making room in my heart for more Love. You, our children. I’m big, small, nothing.

Homeless. Homes For B, Virgil.

“Welcome to my world (welcome to my world)
Welcome to my only world (my only world)
It is full of space junk
But your words are coming through
I’m riding on the space junk
And it’s bringing me to you.”

1633 Days Without B III, Day 1074 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will