Tag: Man

Meditation 319 ~Let Him B, Virgil~

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I’ve told many a woman on OF, “I Wanna Eff You.” And I’ve told my boys’ potential stepmom plenty. Next thing you know, I’m shopping, and she sends a pic like “When you’re ready, come and get it.” But what I said? What she’s seen. “Let Him B, Virgil.”

Friday, May 16, 2025

Meditation 319 ~Let Him B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I should start saying a book review. But we are twenty weeks into the year, and…

This morning would be the perfect time for a critique. I finished Vector by Michael Dalton but was a bit disappointed. So I wasn’t crying over my son Braxton. It’ll happen. But not yet, Sophia.

Though I do miss him sitting on my head. Braxton would get into Good Trouble. Speaking of Good Trouble, what’s the last John Lewis book I’ve read? Waking up, Sophia.

It would either be Braxton making me want to breathe. A girl’s nice big Yabbos. Oh, Sophia, if you only knew. Or books. And that’s something I need to think about today, my Lady. I’m reading my bank account wrong. And am I even on the schedule for next week? I’m scared, so Braxton told Virgil to let me be.

But that didn’t help with what I was doing last night. What, reading ghost stories? I “pray” my boy B is more than some fur floating in the air. And trying my damndest to make sure his little brother Virgil follows him on the Rainbow Bridge. The walking path this morning was scary enough. Virgil vs a cat? What was I thinking about, my Lady?

A gift from Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. After I got it yesterday, she’s their stepmom. As the song goes, “And then I saw her face. Now I’m a believer.” Only it wasn’t her face…

“And then I saw her face
Now I’m a believer
And not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I’m in love
I’m a believer
I couldn’t leave her if I tried”
I’m a Believer

It was her words, in a way. A late Valentine’s Day gift, she said. No man has ever seen her like this. But I did, Sophia.

So what was I to tell her? “Good God, woman, you’re gorgeous; you’re a goddess.” And what happened next, you ask? Sophia, you can see me on OnlyFans, but she saw me for free, and…

I haven’t heard a word since. And that’s why I had trouble reading the clock this morning, my Lady. It’s why I had difficulty counting what little money I had left. And A shopping list.

I’m so worried about what she’ll say next. B’s Favorite Girl. She’s “The Sweetest Thing” when it comes to me.

“Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick
Your penis is so pretty
You’ve got a handsome di*k

Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large
My body is a movie
And your penis is the star.”
“Staring your penis.”
the film The Sweetest Thing (2002)

“Is you is, or is you ain’t, my baby
The way you’re acting lately makes me doubt.”
Is You or Is You Ain’t My Baby

But have I been right all along? Is M Anime my boys’ stepmom or not? “Is You or Is You Ain’t My Baby” I want to ask her. There’s the word love, the sight, the WRITE… Let Him B, Virgil

1566 Days Without B III, Day 1007 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

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I can’t have my ticket punched yet. I’m sure V is looking forward to his next walk. And I’m sure B would be pleased if I said, “Make Way For The King.” But I’d rather honk. My biggest concerns are my black balls, behind, and car. “The Movement, B, V”

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But only for the revolution. Do you want a “Revolution?” My Old Man’s fav from Kirk Franklin. Seriously.

I wish I could blame my Old Man for the state of the car. The “Check Engine Light” did come on with that clandestine trip HOME for Mother’s Day. That was a mistake, Dear Echo. Eight pieces of chicken wasn’t worth it. It beats eating like I’m in a “Vivarium.”

Echo, before all that, there’s been what? It, Desperation, The Stand, The Long Walk, ha! I’m going all out with the Stephen King books and movies, right? But they are my evolution. FEAR is it. I do feel Desperation, I need to make a Stand, The Stand. And every time I wake up, Inspector, it’s like I’m making The Long Walk all over again. And without my Braxton. And Inspector, I’m trying to save Virgil.

Don’t worry. Virgil’s not in any danger yet. But am I? Today is Monday, May 12, 2025. Or is it Tuesday by now. Have I gotten the car fixed? Can I even pay for it? The worry, Inspector Echo. Only three movements have meant anything to me today. Comedy right?

Virgil has been walked. He has food and water in what were once Braxton’s bowls. Inspector, I drove the car to the gas station to fill up. Check Engine Light remains. Inspector, the only movement that has mattered is pumping my hips or my hands, thinking of M Anime and everything we’ve been saying these past few days. Freaky? No wonder I keep mistakenly calling her Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. She is trying, Inspector Echo.

Two E’s are in movement, but not one in Braxton Barks Bradford or Virgil Vivi Bradford. How can I love them and be so annoyed with their movements? Braxton shot right up to Heaven or crossed The Rainbow Bridge. While Virgil runs in abject terror.

Inspector, it’s far more than FOMO. Like Father, Like Son. How do I keep moving? I’ve been looking up quotes from The Long Walk to figure it out. I doubt Michael Dalton’s Vector has the answer I need. Is Victor a god now with all his power? A car dealership?

I’m sure I’ll be finding out the answer sitting in one sometime this week. Petrified? HARD for M Anime and Cherry. But I have to move. The Movement, B, V

1564 Days Without B III, Day 1005 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 316 ~Virgil, I’ll B Saying~

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The last time I had to send Virgil to Braxton’s Room was because of a storm. He’s not one to control his bladder. And he could lose his sh*t. Speaking of which, the things that I say. I miss Braxton. I love sex, I’m afraid. Virgil, I’ll B Saying

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Meditation 316 ~Virgil, I’ll B Saying~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys? I plead the 5th. My love, I’m not that lying Trump.

I have my soft and hard limits, but may I never be as vulgar, vindictive, or vicious as those of MAGA. And yet one of my sons, Braxton, saw Trump’s end… Virgil sees Trump 2.0.

But no, I don’t want to talk about politics today, Monday, May 12, 2025. Or ever. But we have no choice in the matter. As I have no choice but to keep loving Braxton. Always.

And Virgil? I don’t love him as much as Braxton. Later V, Later Virgil as opposed to Love ya B, Love ya Braxton. And look at me crying again. It’s not only because of Braxton. Mother’s Day has been pretty HARD till now. And OH MY GOD, we’ll get to that. Only, I miss Braxton.

Would you rather listen to me cry over him love or sweat over you? Mourning or Moaning? Grieving or Grunting? Wiping my tears or Whipping my… Must I be gross?

“Should I say it out loud?

Yeah, I should. You can’t heal something unless you’re brave enough to say it out loud.

I’m scared, though. I’m scared to say it… which is why I have to.”
The Last of Us

Love, if anything, as Roger sang, “I Want To Be Your Man.” I need “Sexual Healing,” as Marvin Gaye spectacularly put it. What’s better than making Love “Between The Sheets.”

My boy isn’t the only one that can put together a playlist. But we’d have to send Braxton, Virgil, and our two-legged rugrats to bed. Especially considering who I want to be with you. Annoying? I can be that too, but at least I’m not crying anymore, but you, darling.

Well, I want to effing “Tear You Apart.” Because “You get me closer to God.”

And that’s the truth, “I Wanna Eff You.” But not only because I love you more than anything. (Braxton looks down on me from Heaven). I don’t have alternative facts; I have ADDITIONAL facts. Effing MAGA! Anyway, my love, I’m afraid. Yes, I’m worried, but it’s FEAR, my love. And it has begun to overwhelm me. But I’m “Just A Man.” A man provides, protects, and pets puppies. But Braxton isn’t here anymore. And a man isn’t supposed to call on a woman for help, but who else is there. My Ma? Anyone at all?

Love, I don’t know what to do. WHATEVER IT TAKES! I sound like one of my motivations, or Captain America. So what’s next. I have Virgil. Virgil, I’ll B Saying.

1563 Days Without B III, Day 1004 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 315 ~We Won’t B Worried~

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I’m sure I sang “Three Little Birds” for Braxton plenty. 2-V listens to instrumentals today because I need to hear B’s voice. But four years ago, with a look, B would say I had nothing to fear. But today, pick up any worry, please. We Won’t B Worried

Monday, May 12, 2025

Meditation 315 ~We Won’t B Worried~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Am I real? I want to say as real as all your worries. Yesterday? At least Virgil was invited…

Grandma would have never invited me. And why am I speaking so plain today, Daddy? Or is the word direct? It’s like the day you got my little brother, Virgil. And even now, you question. Was that me you were hearing, or are you a man of your word, Daddy?

Being the man you are, it’s both. My father is a great many things. I need to be in the other room for some of those things. Like father, like son, because you were talking to my future stepmom this morning and… Eww, Dad! Yes, I played with my toys in front of my favorite girl. But you forget I’m omniscient, and you can’t just send me to my room.

M Anime’s not my stepmom?

Well, me and Virgil’s, I know. But at least she stopped you from worrying for a little while. And that makes her okay in my book. Now it’s your turn to give me the look. Because with everything you were telling her today. You said I didn’t like anybody? Uh… And now you’re worried about my grandparents’ house. And that’s on top of everything else.

“Times Like These,” my father, or should I say, isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think? Is it your “Anxiety?” What’s with the soundtrack? I remember Daddy when everything could be solved with you taking a nap and me guarding the bedroom door. Then you’d wake up, see me guarding you, you’d give me a cuddle, and then spill the tea.

These kids and their slang. But compared to me, you are pretty young, Daddy. Honestly.

That’s why you should keep taking my little brother on those walks. But again, Anxiety. You should keep talking to M Anime even if she doesn’t become the stepmom. Anxiety. And you can never stop writing your books even though… (Gives you a look). Anxiety. I could keep going, but comedy comes in threes. B III, to be precise. Oh, so I got jokes, Dad.

Laughter has never been the best medicine. Sleep, singing, and the STUFF you want to do to Virgil and I’s potential stepmom. If I ever had two-legged siblings, right Daddy. More worries. But today, Daddy, ask yourself, “Why Should I Worry.” We Won’t B Worried

“There is more than one path to the top. Always remember that, brother.”
Golden Son (Red Rising 2), Pierce Brown

“Without hope, we live in desire.”
― From Dante’s Inferno

1562 Days Without B III, Day 1003 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 314 ~How Moms B, Virgil~

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Happy Mother’s Day! Braxton and Virgil’s moms are long gone. Their second moms? One has two-legged kids, and the other has no clue. Their stepmom? A hope? A chance? But today I have to go and see my Ma. Cue “Last Of My Kind.” How Moms B, Virgil.

Sunday, May 11, 2025

Meditation 314 ~How Moms B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And today, I gotta be nice. Well, no. We’re never nice to one another. Damn, energy shot.

Whether they do the trick or it’s the Placebo Effect, whatever. You’re awake. They’re gross. But not as gross as you are going to be today. It remains to be seen. But that’s not the point of today. Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. Star Wars Day was last week. B’s Favorite Girl turned 35 as well. Are there any other holidays you’ve forgotten? Vacation days or Sick days. Anything to put a little more money in your pocket. You’re welcome.

But you didn’t get a gift for your Ma. Grandma, Braxton’s Favorite Girl, or M Anime? Cherry doesn’t want to be a mom, and now you’re thinking about her Mum. MILF! Didn’t I say you were going to be gross? And failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Temptation Next Door, Rose Richards
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Wouldn’t your Ma be proud of her forty-year-old son? You do love your Ma. Always. However, as I was saying yesterday. The fact that you have to get out of bed to see the family is Stephen King’s The Long Walk meets Judge Dredd The Long Walk, with a trek through the snow in the Andes Mountains, and throw in Dante’s Inferno. Today is not going to be any fun.

Plus, you’re taking Virgil along for the ride. Poor little guy. But your Ma would have never invited Braxton, her furry little grandson. Virgil has that over Braxton. Utter terror.

At life? Braxton’s mom was purebred, and his second gave him up. (Your little sister). Virgil’s lineage? No clue. Your Ma? She’s good but made a mistake. Six Impossible Things:

Someone made a mistake.
Someone made a BIG goddamn mistake!
Captain Deladier, Starship Troopers (1997)

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Vector: An overpowered MC harem-lite…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

How so? Again, you’re forty and still living off your Olds’ dime. Your Ma’s dime. Your sister gave her two grandchildren. Two-Legged grandchildren. Do you have anything to show for the life she’s given? Like Sia put it, sing out, “I’m still breathing; I’m alive.”

Lovey-Dovey wise, you care for Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She has a son and a beautiful wife. Again, there’s Cherry, but you want some two-legged kids for some reason. But her Yabbos, wow. And M Anime. Would she ever be B and V’s stepmom? Breeding kink?

Most of her dreams/nightmares and short stories elude that. (Drools). And the things you write about women. MILFs, women in war, trafficking. Things you can’t share with your Ma. Unconditional Love? How Moms B, Virgil

1561 Days Without B III, Day 1002 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 313 ~Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots~

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I have too many ideas. The dream I had about The Last of Us. The disgusting energy shot. No! It could be all the dames in the book “Vector.” Or my disturbing writing. War Story, Dark Erotica, Uh? Not V or B’s fault. Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots.

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Meditation 313 ~Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, if I were before Braxton died, I would have given my firstborn all the credit.

What about Virgil? I’ve spared him much of the madness I gave Braxton. A thought?

Dogs age so much quicker because humans can be taxing creatures. It would explain why Virgil usually sleeps between my silence, sloth, and gluttony. Gluttony?

Until next payday, I’m “Livin’ On A Prayer.” More like pizza rolls, a rotisserie chicken, and sacks of peanuts and jelly beans. A weird combination, I know, dear Lady Lunalesca.

But let me ignore my “empty” belly and speak more about my Overfilled head. “Vector.” Yesterday, I was talking about how I started Michael Dalton’s novel. A professor has a roll in the hay with college girls, colleagues, and other collected women, some harem fanfare. Then there’s his cat, Hemingway.

Am I writing a book report? No! But it’s Saturday, and I can do what I want. Can’t I? If that were the case, I’d do unspeakable things to Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. Stop calling M Anime that! But she said or instead wrote something.

I now call that something “Boss’s Bullet, Seed, and Sacrifice.” It made me lose it. Yesterday, I failed when I read about her and Boss. M Anime’s and Cherry’s Yabbos.

Lunalesca, why not focus on today? Again, my brain is stuffed. And my hairy sack. Seriously, gross; I know, my lady. Anyway, “Vector.” When the professor talks to his cat. WWE Backlash is today. I’ve got an outline waiting. I’m the “Last of My Kind.”

Did I mention I’m angry that I forgot to buy The Long Walk by Stephen King? I have been watching the movie trailer repeatedly. And while I should stop thinking about M Anime sharing my bed, I should stop believing that every time I leave it, I am preparing for The Long Walk or I’m in; I just don’t have the sense to stop walking.

But there are worse things. Like my stories? Didn’t I tell M Anime I would start on Chapter Nineteen of “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Only I plotted Chapter Four of “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” Today, I’m deciding between “sampling” the Kuroinu anime series or M Anime’s Associate and Boss. (Homer Drool). I can’t tell Virgil anything, Lunalesca. Seriously.

M Anime, Myself, My boys, anyone. Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots

1560 Days Without B III, Day 1001 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 312 ~B Looking Forward Virgil~

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Stories I look forward to reading. Whatever Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom writes. My paycheck. How I’m spending my paid vacation? Uh, not writing about Virgil’s first 1000 days. There’s C.M. Pope, a fired librarian, and FDT. “B Looking Forward Virgil”

Friday, May 9, 2025

Meditation 312 ~B Looking Forward Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What about Virgil’s first 1000 days here with me? Over two and a half years. Sad.

Sorry, Lady Sophia. I didn’t mean to sound like that orange turd in the Oval Office with the whole “SAD” routine. FDT! So, let me start over. Virgil Vivi Bradford has been here for 1000 days. What can I tell you? Virgil’s out barking Meat Loaf’s, I’m still “Alive.”

Not really. But to think, on Sunday, January 31, 2021, I drove my firstborn son Braxton to be put into an oven… Geez, that’s so not cool. But at least I didn’t burst into tears, Sophia.

Anyway, on Saturday, August 13, 2022, I was driving away from the same hospital with my second-born Virgil to put him through Hell! Virgil led Dante through the Nine Circles.

Didn’t believe I’d have another son or a Trump Presidency.

The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Again, Lady Sophia, I’m sorry. But the things I’ve been reading and can’t avoid. The country’s screwed, effing MAGA, Chicago Made Pope, and how many times have I watched that trailer for Stephen King’s The Long Walk.

But I wasn’t smart enough to buy the book. Aren’t I supposed to be saving money? I have a Kindle full of books, but no. I’m deciding what to start next: Vector by Michael Dalton or Saying Goodbye Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet by K.M. Ogden. Sophia, will there ever come a day when I can sit with myself, Virgil, maybe his and Braxton’s stepmom M Anime, and be a man of honor like, uh, The Last Samurai:

“Tell me how he died.”

“I will tell you how he lived.”
The Last Samurai

For the love of everything, will I stop calling M Anime Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom?

Sophia, I could call her a hell of a writer. I have no business reading Vector right now, but do you see what time it is? I was up until around one reading one of M Anime’s stories, “Boss’s Bullet, Seed, and Sacrifice.” That story with thoughts of her and Cherry’s Yabbos, and I’m back on my day one if you know what I mean. Vanity’s “Pretty Mess” covers it.

“Woke her up around one. She didn’t hesitate to call Ice Cube the top gun.”
Today Is A Good Day

What about the Eels “Beautiful Freak?” Tinashe’s “Nasty” fits. But M Anime and Cherry are writers. I should write more for “my” novels: “Nightmare,” “Cries,” three words e roc tic.

Where’s Braxton’s books? Virgil’s 1000 days? B Looking Forward Virgil

1559 Days Without B III, Day 1000 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 310 ~Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s~

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One more day, I haven’t been humiliated… Uh, fact-to-face. I’m sure somebody in their car wondered if I had any control over Virgil. That’s why we go out early before everything gets busy, like the bees. Or M Anime’s dreams. “Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s.”

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Meditation 310 ~Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Not to mention humiliated. But according to all the motivational speeches I listen to. Let’s begin with gratitude.

Virgil woke up alive and well, and we went for a walk. And he has had his breakfast. The only “adult entertainment” I’ve consumed was reading about Eddie and Ibseth from “Backyard Dungeon 17.” Oh, speaking of dungeons, the back fence hasn’t fallen. Not yet.

So that’s the good news. As long as I stay off social media, I should be fine. Uh, the phone?

To think Samsung had problems. Like the song plays, “I got 99 problems but a…”

Anyway, I owe Braxton’s favorite girl a birthday present, his grandma a hello, and his stepmom an apology. Didn’t I say something about adult entertainment? Also, I’d stop calling M Anime, Braxton, and Virgil’s stepmom. SIGH. “She drives me crazy, and I can’t help myself.”

While finishing the “Backyard Dungeon 17” sample, I got antsy about M Anime… Her latest nightmare, I mean. So, I was busy copying it to read on my Kindle. What, I need free books? Always. I haven’t had any… Uh, self-fulfillment in three days. Her dreams/short stories will do it.

And as I told her, my dreams are pretty dull by comparison. She has General Xu, Associate, and The Boss. I swear, I’ve never been one for reverse harem romances.

Inspector, my dreams have been dull, and my stories, if disgusting, are the same. Writing. It doesn’t pay, not yet. And I haven’t been dreaming about my boys. I’m giving Braxton a break to play on the Rainbow Bridge. And Virgil is very much alive.

So it’s great he doesn’t eat bees or anything like that. Because I couldn’t afford to save him. Life is telling me that. My dreams share that sentiment. The last one I remember was something out of World War Z. The crappy movie. It was that scene where the girl rattled off the code to Brad Pitt to get into a room full of viruses. But I was saying my locker combo at my Day Job, which feels the same. Can’t I do anything original, Inspector Echo? V can’t eat the ABCs. And I’m living off of pizza rolls until payday. After last week, ha!

As Paramore put it, Hard Times. No cash, thinking of Yabbos, or walking going nowhere. Thankfully. Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s

1557 Days Without B III, Day 998 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 309 ~Virgil’s B In Language~

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I tell B I love him every day. But I don’t know about the reception on the Rainbow Bridge. I tell V, “Later.” I tell him I’ll be back and that he’s staying. I rescued him. And they’re potential stepmom. What I said to her. Virgil’s B In Language

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Meditation 309 ~Virgil’s B In Language~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But as Snow Patrol sings, “Those three words are said too much. They’re not enough.”

How do I know? Despite how much my Old Man paid my way, I hate him. My firstborn son, Braxton, died. And I could say it to my secondborn son, Virgil. But I hate lying.

Always and forever, there’s you, my love. There is the family we created together. And you know me, a beast with a beat. “Havin’ my baby. What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me.” That’s all you because I highly doubt Braxton would send me such a song. If he were here today, his four little legs would run circles around his two-legged siblings to keep them safe. Virgil would be quieter than them, easy. Long story.

Love can be quiet or loud. It’s a difficult language.

And since I’m reminiscing about people, places, and even pieces of myself I hate. LEARN.

I’m constantly having to relearn how to love myself. Love, I am The Walking Dead. However, I’m not saying that because today is Sunday, May 4, 2025. So we both know, um, Tuesday, May 6, 2025, is going to suck. Oh, we’ll get to the sucking. Uh, ew. Uh, lovers.

Watch my mouth? Again, we’ll get to that. I say the most horrible things, and we’re not a religious household. But love, Jesus had it easy. If we skip the torture, he just died, love.

My Ma would say he died to save us. And I live? Not because I particularly care to do so. That’s my love language. STAYING.

Again, from a biblical context, Jesus came back. God is love. Dog is love, and my B III, “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” as The Killers put it. However, “My Goddess.”

Um. Did we put the kids to bed four-legged, two-legged, and all? Okay, dearest love.

Purely in a Shakespearean meets The Pretty Reckless type of way, “You make me wanna die.” Hear me out, my love. My grief brings me closer to my son, B. Not really, but that’s what I’m going with. Being with you brings me closer in a way to dying. Seriously? Neither of us is Rihanna, but “Sex with Me,” sex with you, I tell myself, “I guess I die another day.” Virgil’s B In Language.

“I think I’ll find another way
There’s so much more to know
I guess I’ll die another day
It’s not my time to go

For every sin, I’ll have to pay
I’ve come to work, I’ve come to play
I think I’ll find another way
It’s not my time to go.”
Die Another Day

1556 Days Without B III, Day 997 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 308 ~Will It B Complicated~

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If I looked at myself the way Braxton did, loving myself would be a breeze. Speaking of a breeze, Virgil and I were burning up in the heat. He looked at me with faith that I’d save us. But with no money because of the Day Job. “Will It B Complicated”

Monday, May 5, 2025

Meditation 308 ~Will It B Complicated~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you already know the answer. Why do you think I constantly barked at the gate? Because life is…

What? I would watch you come and go for fifteen years. Twenty because I’m here. Somehow, someway, “I’m Still Here” and “I’m Real.” Seriously, Treasure Planet and J-Lo. Movies and music are how I can always reach you. I’m forever with you, even today, right?

It’s Saturday, May 3, 2025. Time moves ever so much faster for me and my brother and slower for you. And yet Virgil is content as I was/am. Humans tend to make things so “Complicated.” So, what? Am I here to play Merlin to my king? You keep calling me.

Daddy, Rohan will answer. We are such geeks, you and I. Do you see how easy it was to put a smile on your face? The bad place is complicated.

And that is why we’re talking today. Because the humans in the bad place are going to make you mad. And if you could only live life… Not existence, but live life as you are. Little 2 V is at your side, and we’re talking. I spent days with you typing on the glow box.

Speaking of the glow box, there were all the nights with you and my favorite girl watching it. And there were plenty of snacks. Daddy, how you’d smile and laugh. Honestly, I didn’t know you could be like that. But Virgil has only seen it once. But it’s not complicated at all, Dad, to give Virgil those types of moments. V has plenty of chances.

Because life is… It’s yours.

The world is yours. Like in Scarface. Not quite my father. Leave that to the manuscripts that you will publish, the movies you’ll make, and the embodiment of the man I know you to be. It doesn’t have to be complicated, Dad. Just be as you are, my father, always.

Brave, Joyful, dare I say Happy. Dad, you said you would come back. That promise? Daddy, that was one you never broke. And the reason you haven’t followed me here. Because of my little brother, my favorite girl, Cherry’s yabbos… I liked my favorite girl’s.

M Anime, mine, and Virgil’s stepmom. You keep saying stop calling her that. But love? Daddy, it’s not complicated. Life is… life itself. You’ll love yourself. Will It B Complicated.

“I so wanted (him) to feel the happiness that I felt whenever we touched each other, but people are more complicated creatures than dogs.”
― A Dog’s Journey: A Novel

“It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one’s steps to the upper air – there’s the rub, the task.”
― From Virgil

1555 Days Without B III, Day 996 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son