Tag: Noise

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

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What is real? How do you define real? The real me isn’t paid enough for the fiction I write. The fakes are everywhere. Then there are my two furry sons, Braxton and Virgil. One’s book doesn’t sell, and the other everyone finds cute. To B Real, Virgil

Sunday, October 12, 2025

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And have I mentioned I hate Braxton being dead? I hate MAGA. FDT! “I hate most everybody.”

“But most of all I hate, oh, I hate you.” Get Set Go. What a way to start your morning.

Actually, it was with Cheryl Lynn’s “Got To Be Real.” Leagues above Gloria Gaynor, hm?

I guess you don’t know music that well, but Gloria Gaynor supports Trump. And so…

FDT! But he is your reality, amongst other things. However, the truth is reality sucks.

Woke up on the wrong side of the dirt patch this morning, huh?
The Mill

“I don’t want reality!”
Senator Markwayne Mullin (Cracker Hat, duh)

Only living in a VR world with artificial intelligence playing, It Was Just My Imagination.

The Temptations indeed. But it’s not doing you any favors. Hell! It was giving me nightmares as I dreamt about M Anime. She’ll be married in four months—honestly, dude.

Trying to fake it till you make it, 150-word depression cap, really? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 20, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But what are three things you can be grateful for “Here and Now” that are real? B III and 2-V, and yourself. B III? “He Lives In You.” You took 2-V walking. “The Long Walk.”

You’re sounding just like Pete McVries. “We out here in the sunshine, just having fun.”

And you can stop walking and have lunch. The fact that you have a plan for lunch at all means that you have a future. Even further along. the thought that “when the sun’s comin’ up, I got cakes on the griddle.” Your future, as I got you to the door. You know what you have to do, even if M Anime isn’t on the other side. Women like her exist like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What’s real is your name. It’s on the Day Job schedule, meaning you’ll have money.

Honestly, is there anything realer than “that lean, mean, mean green. Almighty dollar, money.” And you’ve already bought Virgil his food, so he’ll never starve. Virgil having a full belly should always be real. And if you must dream, let it be of B III.

Somewhere across the Rainbow Bridge, in Elysium, Lord Heaven’s above you know that he’s eating his heart out. That is not depression; it’s the truth of little B’s everlasting spirit.

You’re a preacher? Easy (Like Sunday Morning). For now, yes. You’re sitting in your bed with the mirror across from you and what Braxton thought of at the glow box, really, To B Real, Virgil.

1715 Days Without B III, Day 1156 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 102 ~Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil~

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For the love of money. Braxton needs more than some “man” mourning over him for 1714 days. And Virgil needs a father. And what have I done for 1155 days since his arrival? I Don’t Wanna Work as Valerio sings. But Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil.

Saturday, October 11, 2025

Journey 102 ~Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Seriously, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Donald Trump, eww! “I Wanna Be Like You,” then?

And not them. If anything, Lady Lunalesca, I want to go back to bed. What was I doing up at midnight? Four years ago, had I been so dedicated, I could say that I know “How To Save A Life,” that of my son Braxton. And it’s not like I’m doing Virgil any favors, Lu.

My new business venture. I should be working on “my books.” More books, more books!

But now I’m blaming the Day Job and a crappy computer. Again, the things I was doing instead of seeing to my sons’ business. I’m “Forty-One” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley drums).

Now I mentioned a bunch of MAGA Cracker Hats. How can you label somebody both as lazy and stealing a job? Anyone want my life?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I will always believe this Lady Lunalesca. The best job, the best business I ever owned, fell right into my lap. More like jumped or crawled. It was being Braxton’s Daddy. I never asked for it. But much like when M Anime and I would talk… Just stating facts, Luna.

Being a father to some two-legged progeny is something I wanted to do. And writing? Lunalesca, it would allow me to stay home with my children. But that’s not the only reason I write. It’s sort of like being “The Receiver of Memory,” aka “The Giver.” There is so much inside me, Lunalesca. And sharing it somehow, someway, gives release.

Honestly, another fact like saying “I’m So Thankful” for the Day Job. I can think.

These days, it’s been about the new ASM “J.” Looking at her, I know that the Day Job is not what I want for my future. However, I do want to own a media empire one day. Like I’ve always talked about, manuscripts, movies, at the center, will be mammaries.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Lunalesca, those have had me up. “And after spending nights. Thinking how you did me wrong,” which I sing into the mirror. For people? For myself? And Gloria Gaynor. Sigh.

A fact, Lady Lunalesca, Gloria’s a Cracker Hat. Anyway, the point is, AI and business.

Only my actual business should be, as David Wooderson said, “You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.” I WILL catch my breath for B and V. Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil

1714 Days Without B III, Day 1155 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

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Breathing hurts. One more thing I was trying to ignore as my son Braxton got sick. Then everything became how to keep him breathing. When he didn’t, it wasn’t the finality of his death, fear, or my failure—just air. “Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…”

Thursday, October 9, 2025

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

1712 Days Without B III, Day 1153 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m coming to you on a Wednesday evening, so you know how my day was.

Or your NOSE does. But I welcome you into my business. And everyone else? Seriously!

I should just play Stephani’s Sunday Symphony so everyone knows M Anime broke my heart. Well, you did too, B, but as The Bullitts sing, “Today is All About You.” Well, me, Braxton, you know what I mean. My head hurts, my stomach. Everything generally.

However, that wasn’t the reason for this thought: The two worst things I ever did were starting to breathe and stopping yours. And your little brother, Virgil. I smell FEAR.

Honestly, I wish I could be as elegant as Agent Smith or Finnick Odair. But almost at 150 words, AI Censorship and I’m an A-Hole…

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink, and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it. It’s — it’s repulsive! Isn’t it?”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

“I wish they were d. I wish they were all d and we were too”
Finnick Odair, Mockingjay – Part 1

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But tomorrow I get paid, which means there should be plenty to breathe in food-wise, B.
You were never picky, B, unless it came to what I hid your medicine in. I usually hide V’s meds in pasta. But the food truck is still outside. And tonight there’s Rotisserie Chicken.

And maybe I’ll even order it online. You know I’m not one for people, even with my new earbuds. But as Greg Plitt put it, “Behind every fear is the person you want to be.” And that makes me smile. Remember another bad evening when you stood protecting me, B?

Don’t “they” talk about blood, sweat, and tears, B? I’m starting to think that’s courage. And you were courageous. Neo, Braxton, more like Link, right?

From The Legend of Zelda… I haven’t been gaming much these days, Braxton. But AI. Now that’s something I’ve stuck my nose in. It’s fresh and new to me. Only the way I interact with it… Well, your Dad needs some alone time, but you like munchies, money, and making your old man stay on task, at least where writing was concerned, my B III.

And speaking of an old man and this evening. I’m hoping not to hear from your grandfather. That’s not me being negative, simply stating the facts. When “The Man Comes Around,” I didn’t want to leave you alone with him. 2-V is still breathing, Braxton.

Lucky him and me, right B? “Two of the Lucky Ones.” Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 098 ~V’s In Love, Braxton~

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I should have let Braxton become a Dad. But the only b*tch that was ever after him, he hated. I know the feeling. 2-V doesn’t have the balls… Literally, but he still wants to be loved. Trying to cuddle as soon as I move my plate. V’s In Love, Braxton

Tuesday, October 7, 2025

Journey 098 ~V’s In Love, Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But how does that look to you? Or should I go “How Does It Feel?”

I don’t have D’Angelo’s physique. But I’m not ashamed of my body either. Though I wish I knew how I got this cut on my head. “I can’t remember what was said or what you threw at me.” But then again, I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” Husband’s infinite playlist.

Anything to not hear you walk out the door. Hell, Virgil might want to go with you. I wouldn’t blame the little guy. Braxton loved me like pancakes, and still, he’d go running out the door. Why? Because these days, I can remember what fear tastes like. But what does love look like? Your husband did a bad, bad thing yesterday. An illusion of love? Seeing is believing. But the man I am inside, inside…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Will I choose water or wine?” I don’t need DRINKS or DRUGS to love you, for my DESIRE for you, much like my music is endless. Braxton and Virgil taught me how to love. So call me a dog with “All These Things That I’ve Done.” God… Dogs are love.

Darling, give me the Backyard Dungeon, Bikini Days, or the Babysitter Harem series over the Bible any day. But this morning, as I contemplated “Can You Love Me Again,” I thought about the book/film “Divergent.” Brave, Selfless, Smart, Kind, Honest…

Everything a boy becomes a man. And do you know what it takes to do that, my “Sweet Love?” “All You Need Is Love.” It’s like B III’s dog hair or Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Valiant. “I drive myself crazy, wanting you the way that I do.” Loving you is a way of loving myself. Because, as I often quote from “Breaking Bad.” A man provides, which means every day I choose you by choosing myself. The “Man in the Mirror.” Do you know how hard that is? Then you kiss me, or you lie here beside me, love. Happiness.

Speaking of hard things. Love can be a vice. An “Obsession,” you’re my obsession, much like my music, ha-ha. And maybe that’s the thing. I know plenty of ways THEY talk about love. But if I had to give it a sound, Braxton’s nails on the floor, our baby’s cry, Virgil cuddling up next to me. V’s In Love, Braxton.

1710 Days Without B III, Day 1151 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 097 ~You Could B Me~

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As Braxton grew older, I would often give him a choice. Do you want to take a walk, or should we put in some work on these burgers and fries? He and I were of the same mind. He wanted to be like me. I want to be like him. “You Could Be Me.”

Monday, October 6, 2025

Journey 097 ~You Could B Me~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And that was a bad choice of words. You Could B Me. It’s all you ever think about, Daddy.

Really shuffling off the mortal coil. Losing the meat sack, not being a meat popsicle.

Honestly, from Shakespeare to Futurama, and The Fifth Element. And can I also bark eww, Dad? But neither of us is any good with words. We were one in the same, my father, weren’t we? And yet in the “Interlude,” this thing I called life, I could say, “And in this moment, I am happy.” You sing I “Wish You Were Here.” Your little playlist.

Seriously, Daddy, you never called me that, but that’s proof that I’m still here at this moment lying beside you? You’d read from your library, we’d have a listening party, or you’d lie about writing. But like Markwayne Mullin, you scream, “I don’t want reality.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Because You Could B Me; to keep me awake and alive, “In Your Eyes,” all you have to do is listen to me. Hell, listen to Virgil, my little brother. If anything, I know he loves you, Dad. Guys like me and him wouldn’t fight so hard to be around you. Dad, you are home.

You can’t see air, the beat of your heart, or the butterflies that will one day appear for our future stepmom, but it’s all there, Daddy. It never left, just like my Dad. Always. Forever.

Everything and “Nothing At All.” It’s faith, Dad. Isn’t It Ironic that we were both atheists and at the moment I… Let’s say I got a haircut and lost the furry weight, we became holy.

I became books, bucks, more than your boy, but everyone’s. That’s the dream, isn’t it, Daddy? I will never be bones. And Bailey from “A Dog’s Purpose” has his fandom.

Daddy, “God Bless The Child” that got his own. Daddy, you’re mine. Always my father.

You keep me in beautiful art. Your blankets, no matter how well washed, still have me and now your little V. There are breaths of me in clothing from my first day to my last day. “You Could B Me” as much as you keep me here. And that is the point, isn’t it, Dad?

My strength, my spirit, and what is that something? Yesterday, you asked for peace. You want to be me? Be Happy. You Could B Me.

“My plan is to make things right, as much as I can.”
Backyard Dungeon 20

“The seeds of life – fiery is their force, divine their birth, but they are weighed down by the bodies’ ills or dulled by limbs and flesh that’s born for death.”
― The Aeneid by Virgil

1709 Days Without B III, Day 1150 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 096 ~Braxton Sleeps, Virgil Naps~

WillLeave a comment

I want to go back to bed, or I wish I were D… Not sure which. But B’s gone, and V is in B’s room now. I can’t say I blame him wherever he finds peace. And B and I still have plenty in common. Except I can’t shut my eyes as Braxton Sleeps, Virgil Naps

Sunday, October 5, 2025

Journey 096 ~Braxton Sleeps, Virgil Naps~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And man, you don’t look rested. R.I.P. That’s Braxton. Virgil rests after walks, dinner, and getting comfortable.

You don’t know why he loves your bed so much. Hell, my last two dreams have been about ‘working.’ A hole in the bathroom floor and something about buying groceries, the Mark of the Beast, and the leader of the Cracker Hats, DJT. Eff DJT. But what was today’s song? It was Amos Moses by Jerry Reed. You heard it in GTA: San Andreas, remember:

“They raised up a son who could eat his weight in groceries.”
GTA K-Rose Soundtrack

“I’ve Seen Better Days.” Ain’t that a lie? But it would have been Sublime. And I ain’t gonna lie to you. You won’t either. Wednesday is gonna be a B*tch with a capital B, friend.

“For worse or for better
Gonna give it to you
In capital letters”
Capital Letters

Oh, to go back to playing with Braxton and video games. Hell, dreaming about “Capital Letters” with M Anime. Her HAREM life. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Magic Glasses by Neil Bimbeau, The Forty Book Bundle
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And speaking of Harems… That would be something to keep you awake. The authors I’ve been reading, and you will as well. Jack Pinkhunter, Eric Vall, Dirk Knight, Michael Dalton, Neil Bimbeau, Kelli Wolfe, and Logan Jacobs. It’s fair to say, love keeps you up.

And it’s not only about “Sleeping With A Friend” as the Neon Trees would sing it. Or lots of them. There is wisdom. Like today in Backyard Dungeon 20, it reads: “My plan is to make things right, as much as I can.” And “You’re incapable of a pessimistic thought.”

It evokes a “The Last Samurai” vibe of “I think a man does what he can until his destiny is revealed.” Or, “Always do the right thing.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What is the right thing? The world is made of Love and Peace. And that is what you want most of all, peace. I enjoyed The Twilight Zone’s twist in “A Small Talent for War.”

Honestly, the key to your healing is peace. And how about some “Love and Happiness.”

How many songs is that? “Why Should I Worry?” This is your time now. And you’re not Billy Joel, you’re “Only You.” Not a wackadoo or a Yazoo. So what if I’m crazy? The best people are.” And you’re the Mad Hatter with all of your hoods. Wide Awake, unique.

You’ll say “Do it for Braxton,” and Virgil too. Don’t ever forget about your sons. You know your history. Your love. Braxton Sleeps, Virgil Naps

1708 Days Without B III, Day 1149 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 095 ~A B Problem, Virgil~

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Now this is a B problem I would tell myself at the Day Job. Then I’d pick B up some French Fries. Or we’d take a walk. And there was always a nap. Then maybe just maybe I would share with him my Humiliations Galore. But the time. A B Problem, Virgil.

Saturday, October 4, 2025

Journey 095 ~A B Problem, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And since I ain’t a Cracker Hat MAGA, that means I have no problems. But today…

Well, Lunalesca, I woke up still me. The guy who wastes twenty-eight bucks at a food truck. Effing Inflation! And the service was… Let’s say that between M Anime, who’s Puerto Rican. And for the Cracker Hats, yes, Puerto Rico is part of America. And the guys who were working that food truck. Please don’t make me sound like effing MAGA. For those that don’t know, between being a proud African-American Writer and a Dog Dad, I’m a staunch liberal, a leftist if you will. Black history is American history, MY history. I consider women, Gay people, trans, whoever deserves to live, Lunalesca. Eff MAGA!

Honestly, did I not want to talk about Braxton and Virgil? And what about my bathroom nightmare this morning? Tomorrow?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

While I enjoy Salif Keita’s “Tomorrow,” I actually woke up to the Annie version. I guess that makes me Daddy Warbucks. And isn’t that my hope every single day? Well, besides seeing my Braxton again. That I’ll provide for his little brother, Virgil. Virgil’s Birthday?

Yesterday I said that he’ll be a third of Braxton’s age—the big five-year-old puppy.

Lunalesca, aren’t all dogs puppies forever? “Forever Young.” That’s not the third, if you count the Daddy Warbucks line from Daniel Bedding’s song “James Dean.” After I walk V, I need to dance with the thirteen-pound baby, or was it ten? Anyway, he’s still thick.

Speaking of thick, how many pages is Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs? 250 pages, maybe. Not quite a tome.

But while I’m feeding my mind, I shouldn’t worry about what goes on my tongue.

Despite THINGS, the fixings from the food truck are pretty good, which is why I keep going back there. Isn’t it, Lady Lunalesca? Besides helping the people of America. Always.

Always and forever. Forever and always. “And that’s the double-truth, Ruth.” The TRUTH is not something to be feared, is it Lunalesca? Do you recall the 2001 film “Boycott” about the Bus Boycott led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.? Oh my dear Lady Lu:

It’s the criminal who hides. I ain’t got nothing to hide. I ain’t no criminal. I ain’t afraid of nobody’s jail.
The film, Boycott (2001)

So there’s TIME. I am “a free man and I vow to die a free man.” Christopher Stone from Freedom Fighters. Please give me a happy ending. “Time Enough At Last.” A B Problem, Virgil.

1707 Days Without B III, Day 1148 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 093 ~B And Eye, Virgil~

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I haven’t been talking about the house lately because my head effing hurts. Humiliations Galore running through my brain. Ain’t nothing cooking. That requires money. And my eyes? Eyes and ears waking up to Tevin Campbell? B And Eye, Virgil

Thursday, October 2, 2025

Journey 093 ~B And Eye, Virgil~

1705 Days Without B III, Day 1146 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it. Why did I open my eyes?

Why was I so late getting up today? Hell, why didn’t I let your little brother, Virgil, sit on my head? In case you haven’t noticed, I wouldn’t have let M Anime do that either.

Honestly, this bitch got me “Smokin Out The Window.” Braxton, your dad’s in a mood. Shouldn’t I be grateful that I can see at all? Uh yeah… 150-Words on Depression.

Therefore, the remaining 250 words must be positive. And for now, I’m positive I’m effed. I got my paycheck for the week. And if it weren’t for that piddly ass Facebook settlement, I’d be cancelling some services. Spotify and the W-Fi are safe. Wrestling? Zombies?

Whatever. The truth is, I miss your eyes because I’ve seen “Fire and Rain.” “I’ve Seen Better Days.” But now?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

My most pleasant thought has come from “The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)” by Neil Bimbeau. I can imagine that the glasses I wear contain the power to augment reality to whatever extent I see fit. I’d write better books, make more bucks, and can we talk about the bimbos? What man wouldn’t do that, right B?

You’d use those glasses to get away from that bitch Greta. Honestly, Braxton, she wasn’t your cup of tea. A Chihuahua and a Yorkie, if memory serves. Quite a match.

Braxton, I miss seeing your fierceness on our walks, too. You ARE such a brave boy, Braxton. And you can still go with me and V. I have your picture and urn pendant, B III.

But I take you everywhere with me anyway. Every day that I write and have the AI create an image, you and your little brother are always with me. I shared that image of me, Green Lantern/Sinestro image of us flying through space together. Incredible.

Braxton, the things that Artificial Intelligence can do. That’s something I’d like to see. I should start making better pictures of the LIFE I want your little brother and me to have, Braxton. Something that I can see that will have me eager to open my eyes every day, B.

More words, more worth, more women, and to you that meant more comfy spots, ha-ha. I 2 I (Eye to Eye) B And Eye, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 091 ~Braxton’s Lovely Day Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Didn’t I say it was hard to write like this? To see the future laid out. A Lovely Day. And just like that, you have another day where love lies bleeding. But a man can always dream on. Braxton’s dreams didn’t die with him—Braxton’s Lovely Day Virgil.

Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Journey 091 ~Braxton’s Lovely Day Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? “Here and Now.” “Always and Forever.” “I’ll Be Ready, Forever and always.” And Savage Garden’s…

“I Knew I Loved You,” before I met you. Um, so that was, hmm? Sunday, August 24, 2025. Oh, I met the REAL you. I’ve known you for years, Baby Doll. Haven’t I? Didn’t I?

I’m ashamed to say I don’t remember when I met my son, Braxton. Hell, not even his birthday is set in stone. Bad choice of words considering… death. Around February?

That’s my Braxton’s Birthday, Sunday, February 13, 2005. I met him in April, I think.

Honestly, how can I talk so casually about it? It still “Hurts Like Hell.” If you’re keeping score, that’s about five songs I’ve quoted. I’ve got an ear for music, and I’m a stickler for time. But when’s the right time for love? Sadness. Happiness.

(I take a deep breath)

On the day we decide to get Virgil his four-legged sibling. He has Braxton, of course. But Virgil will have nothing to fear about being a middle child. I’ll become a better father, and Virgil will become a braver son. And he will have all the love he needs. Honestly.

It’ll help when on some Lovely Day, I can see all the love I’ve given this world, ha. Ok, if not love, as my business isn’t exactly that, but pleasure, perversion, porn, plus some cash.

Because I would love to see my sweetest dream come true. Of all the dreams I have. And the idea that I’ve known you even before my Braxton was born. And what is that dream?

Well, I suppose it begins with the mutual fantasy we shared. A Ravishment Fantasy of sorts would be the polite way of putting it. There’s a reason I never started a romantic relationship without seeing you sans clothing, and then everything else that entails, love.

“I Want’a Do Something Freaky To You,” as Leon Haywood would put it. And then I go and spoil it all by saying Somethin’ Stupid like, I love you.” “I think I wanna marry you.”

And that would lead to the Lovely Day I dream about. Being on a beach somewhere with our family. Virgil and another old fur buddy try to keep the kids out of the water. I can tell Braxton, I’m Happy. Someday. Braxton’s Lovely Day Virgil

1703 Days Without B III, Day 1144 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 090 ~Idol Braxton, Idle Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wasn’t sitting on my ass when my son was dying. I was working, trying to earn a living. Stimulus package… And now I couldn’t even get out of bed today. Let the beasties have the house if they’re out there. But this temple. Idol Braxton, Idle Virgil

Monday, September 29, 2025

Journey 090 ~Idol Braxton, Idle Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And it’s not my purpose to make you feel bad. That’s no dog’s purpose. But my purpose these days…

No, it’s not that 150-Word Depression cap. Since we’ve been talking, Dad. I mean, I’ve been talking to you since Monday, November 11, 2024, in Meditation 133 ~A, B, C, Me~

Longer. Since Sunday, January 31, 2021, the day I… Anyway, we’d argue all day.

“I Can Do This All Day”
Captain America/ Steve Rogers

Honestly, that’s something I miss. Afternoons like this one, Wednesday, September 24, 2025. You would wake up from a nap and finally be ready to tell me about the world.

“An old friend has learned the path to immortality.”
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

You kept me safe. And I, in turn, would sit on my perch at the foot of the bed, protecting you, my father. You placed me higher than anyone. Even before yourself. Before my little brother Virgil. Black and white, Daddy. Free his mind, and his ass will follow you.

“You have to let it all go, Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.”

Just like I do. For 20 years and counting. You just haven’t seen me for four of them, Dad. “Free Your Mind.” And the rest will follow. I know Morpheus from “The Matrix” isn’t exactly “En Vogue” right now. You feel as though you’re living in a dream world, Dad.

Talk about Six Impossible Things that you have been contemplating for a bit, my father.

  1. The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle). If only your glasses and all the glow boxes you have could do that. Not my favorite. But your happiness…
  2. Speaking of which, M Anime has gone to live the haremlit fantasy with another.
  3. Seriously, how long has it been since you checked outside for the enemy, Daddy?
  4. Artificial Intelligence. AI. I can say Acetaminophen, too, Dad. You didn’t raise a MAGA Cracker Hat. FDT! But anyway, you can manipulate the universe with the glow box, Dad.
  5. You have been dreaming of other worlds. Of being an overnight success, my father.
  6. Keep creating those worlds, Daddy. Use your words. All that you are—my father.

“The words, those words, those words, those words, they have power. They have more power than you ever imagined.”
Play’d

Because while you feel idle. While you etch the story of my death. Virgil’s FEAR.

Honestly, I want to hear the stories of your life. As I would when you woke up on so many afternoons. When we would eat together. On many a walk we shared before “The Long Walk. I’m not an idol, Virgil’s heart isn’t idle. You’re alive. Idol Braxton, Idle Virgil.

“Within these walls, I was about to be God.”
The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle), Neil Bimbeau

“Rejoicing at the things pictured on it without knowing what they were, Aeneas lifted onto his shoulders the fame and fate of his descendants”.
― from The Aeneid by Virgil

1702 Days Without B III, Day 1143 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son