Tag: Noise

Journey 174 ~Red By Braxton, Virgil~

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I need to stop. I don’t need a STUPID red hat like MAGA to tell me that. But to stop… Seeing rage, giving into rutting, and mourning for my boy while not truly embracing his brother. If I stop. When, where, and how will I go? “Red By Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, December 22, 2025

Journey 174 ~Red By Braxton, Virgil~
Monday, December 15, 2025 4:55
Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What you don’t know is what this day will bring, other than we’re talking today, because you have to go to “The Bad Place.” As you know, the quote from one of those books you would read to me, 1984: “You will work for a while, you will be caught, you will confess, and then you will die.” Granddaddy wanted you to read it. You did long ago, long ago.

Long ago, like the end of last year, to Virgil? And it’s why you started calling M Anime the Julia to your Winston. If you could only see your face this second, my father. I’d say you were turning red… You know, if it wasn’t for doggy colorblindness and all.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Sunday, December 21, 2025 4:49
Honestly, it was eye-opening for me when I… What’s left? No, Dad. Look at it, as I went to eat my treat in the next room. Or I had you freaking out when you thought you left me outside. Or more like I went to sit with my Favorite Girl, when you were sitting right beside her. Now I’m still here, sitting beside Virgil, snoozing in the sun, seething elsewhere because I don’t want to hurt you. Do you recall how you checked rage, Dad?

You wanted to protect me. And I don’t know how to protect you from this… I think the word I’m looking for is STAY. I was the excuse for avoiding the Olds’ Humiliation and Anger.

But this week, today is a Red Flag, Red Alert, one more Red Mark on your existence, even as we sit here talking, Daddy. “Red, gold, and green,” you would sing to me. That isn’t any Christmas tunage. I’m no Karma Chameleon but more of a Kiss From A Rose….

Seriously, now you’re thinking of Cherry in her sexy Red… You’re not sending me away.

Daddy, eww! Though it’s been more M Anime talk these days. You say you’re way “Too Good at Goodbyes.” Just like I was telling you, “you think I’m weak, I think you’re wrong,” years ago. I think we both need to STOP living our lives the way that we do. Daddy, more red. Not for Christmas. Red By Braxton, Virgil.

“But it’s hard to move forward, he thought to himself, when surrounded by memories of everything you’re trying to forget.”
― His Christmas Miracle Harem

Cunctantem flectere sermo coeperat. “His words had begun to sway him as he hesitated.”
Aeneid

1786 Days Without B III, Day 1227 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 173 ~Braxton, Virgil, Where’s Merry~

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Christmas? No paycheck this week. But I missed the Christmas tunage. But between the Day Job this week, possibly being invited to my Olds, and everyone taking off. I don’t want to be bored waiting for nothing. So, Braxton, Virgil, Where’s Merry?

Sunday, December 21, 2025

Journey 173 ~Braxton, Virgil, Where’s Merry~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you thought the week Amazon where you effed off all those Amazon shifts was hard. Sigh…

Think Court Carmody cosplaying as Harley Quinn, that Asian mom turned Instagram cutie, and being M Anime’s CUCK hard. And all on Christmas Day. Christmas Week?

Honestly, it starts earlier every year. Isn’t there a song about Christmas all year long or round? Sabrina Carpenter? You can’t ever forget about her. Not for singing… Gross.

Seriously, dude, stop it! If there are three days (because comedy comes in threes) that never end, it would be Braxton’s Passing, your Emergence Day, and effing Christmastime, you swear. And as I was TRYING to say, this week will not be any type of pretty. I’m talking “The Purge,” may God be with you. That’s right, eff him/her/it too.

Where to begin, that’s right, in failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING His Christmas Miracle Harem Stand-Alone Harem by O. L. Tyme
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Preparing for this week. No, you’re not ready. And neither is Virgil. You think you betrayed Braxton. Only he wasn’t invited for the holidays. And you wouldn’t leave, B III.

But Virgil? If you’re unfortunate enough to get an invite from your Olds for Christmas, that means you throw Virgil to the miniatures, your nephews. V’s faith is misplaced, too.

If we aren’t talking about the gods… Then people. Virgil has you, and you thought you had M Anime. If you had but one word for what you were feeling when you woke up at 2 AM with all the lights on, it would be SIREN. And not that type of siren after B’s death.

You commit your share of crimes, failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Christmas Obsession by Darcy Rose
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So it’s not those sirens, or Jingle Bells, damn racism. Eff MAGA and the Cracker Hats. And FDT. But anyway, you’ve been listening to M Anime’s playlists this fine Sunday.

Stephani’s Sunday Symphony (post-break-up). The Red Sash (Playlist she created…). Anything beats “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “We Wish You a Merry Christmas,” or “Merry Christmas Baby.” Merry, Mary, Mari… Can be as much of a btch as Happy. “99 Problems” and all that. Your problems are that Braxton is gone, and the other one is in bed in B’s room. Will you make the speaker boom at the Day Job on the 22nd? You’re very much broke, so no boxes, bows, but there’s always bellowing and btching. Your belly? Braxton, Virgil, Where’s Merry

1785 Days Without B III, Day 1226 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 172 ~Getting B’s Daily, Virgil~

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It’s Saturday, not Sunday, so I don’t think about my homework or everything going on. Christmas, the crappy place I work, or some cu… Don’t talk about M Anime or any woman like that. I thought I was better, so why not try “Getting B’s Daily, Virgil.”

Saturday, December 20, 2025

Journey 172 ~Getting B’s Daily, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Nope! But even if I were, what would it have in common with broke, Lady Lunalesca?

Damage Report! These two words sum up this existence. The Big Beautiful/Ugly Mother Effing Damage Report! Oh, I’m in a mood today. It comes with wasting an existence you don’t even want, like the Day Job. I hate that place, but wasn’t I panicked, Lunalesca?

Like the young people used to say, “totes.” I’m way too old to try to keep up with the slang. Forty-One (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums). I’m also too old to be playing “Whiteout Survival at 6 AM, if you’re wondering why I’m so late this morning. Don’t worry, Virgil was lucky enough to get his walk and not get eaten. However, I was unlucky, Lunalesca.

Case in point, I am still right here, “Hurt.” I didn’t join my Braxton today.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

It’s not a B day or a C. D? Considering yet again I couldn’t keep mine in my pants last night. Leave it to Christmas porn. Not to be confused with Christmas Erotica. I finished “His Christmas Miracle Harem” last night. The writer really has a thing for Asian women.

I can relate… There’s this chick on Instagram…. Anyway, I started Christmas Obsession by Darcy Rose. It takes me back to a younger time when I was still too old to be chasing some Puerto Rican chick. You can see why I didn’t do well in school. I never learn.

Lunalesca, I made the same mistake with M Anime. “Wonderwall,” she was not, thank you, Ryan Adams. “What I Go To School For,” then? Busted!

I FAILED, I DROPPED OUT, I said I COULDN’T, I learned to speak BRAXTON, and Virgil, formerly ARCHIE. This in no way, shape, or form sounds like Christmas, my lady.

If anything, I’m remembering what it was like to be young—waking up a little earlier on a Saturday morning. But instead of a bowl of Lucky Charms and cartoons, I had a bar of Lucky Charms and an effing arms race on the phone and then walking little Virgil.

Lunalesca, I only want a Red-letter Day. And not “Someday At Christmas.” The only song more annoying than “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” And then Wham! Last Christmas. Don’t I wish Lady Lunalesca? Because this one… Effed and F! Getting B’s Daily, Virgil
1784 Days Without B III, Day 1225 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 170 ~Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails~

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Most Holidays require: MONEY, emotion/reason, and family. Un, no money. With Christmas or any other “happy” holiday, again, I’m broke and not very religious. B’s gone, and V and I feel a certain way about family. Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails

Thursday, December 18, 2025

Journey 170 ~Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails~

1782 Days Without B III, Day 1223 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? This should be me getting ready for Christmas: haircut, groceries, and the food truck.

If we’re only counting Christmas, I owe you five and Virgil four, for 2021-2025 and 2022-2025, respectively. We were never a “true” Christmas household. And you ain’t Lady Sophia, B.

Still, I felt like we should talk about Christmas and share a few stories. Hell, isn’t Christmas a “religious” holiday? A Christian holiday. The only reason I’m not an atheist is because of you, Braxton. “All Dogs Go To Heaven,” indeed. I absolutely refuse to believe that a soul like yours and “Someday” your brother’s vanishes. I’m going to Hell.

But before my trip into the 9th Circle “Treachery,” how did we spend Christmas, hmm?
Watching the Santa Tracker. A decent breakfast of pancakes. I could stay here with you because of your grandparents, ha.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Your grandparents, my Olds. Comedy comes in threes, right? I talked about being an atheist. So after I said, “Christmas can eff off,” your grandma bought me Pokémon Stadium for the N64. I was way too old for it, but it was another obsession. Misty…

Anyway, it was your grandma’s way of saying she understood my new beliefs, B III. Speaking of the N64, the second thing is I found it in the closet, took it out of the box, and played Mario Kart 64 for hours. I repackaged everything. And put it back. Seriously…

Lastly, your grandad yelled at me one Christmas, and your grandma, his always-and-forever apologist, did just that. What your granddad isn’t a Nazi. No politics today, but FDT! Eff MAGA!

But what about this time next week, Christmas? There is a story I wish I could tell you and your brother. Sigh… M Anime, you know, she was supposed to be you and Virgil’s stepmom. I don’t think your brother would be pleased, but anyway. Can you imagine if she were here for Christmas? Being with her on Christmas Eve or the 23rd, because that woman was as freaky as I was. I know Braxton, eww! I’d introduce her to everyone…

Seriously, if I gave her what she wants… A child. It would be close to Emergence Day, Little B. “Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas,” anywhere but here, B. “There is no love here, and there is no pain,” “Just Another,” blah. Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

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If I hear one more bad word… It better be me with a pretty lady, or in an erotica. Maybe the orange douche gets his “ticket punched.” And his Cabinet stars on “The Running Man.” What can I say, I like Stephen King? That’s nice. “Braxton’s Voice A V8”

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? A lot more than some car or healthy drinks. What about Ma or my boys?

Happy Birthday to my Ma. I need to text her or something along those lines today. And as far as my boys? B’s quiet… Still in his box or playing on the Rainbow Bridge… Playing.

Honestly, knowing my firstborn son, he’s gobbling up vittles like an Amsterdam whore sucks dicks. Eww, seriously? Sorry, my love, I shouldn’t be reading Eric Vall on or near Christmas. Not that O. L. Tyme’s “His Christmas Miracle Harem” is helping. And it’s been three days, so I’m hot and horn as all Hell. I should just stay in bed with you. But that’s where Virgil is right now. Little 2-V, “I picture you in the sun, wondering what went wrong.” Am I talking to you or him? Don’t know…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And it’s like I’m not even speaking at all. To sing yet another song, I think I used to have a voice. Now I never make a sound.” If you’re keeping score, that’s “Every Day Is Exactly the Same” by NIN and Joseph Arthur’s “In The Sun.” It’s what I wish I could say… Well.

Sunday, August 24, 2025. Spill it out like “And I love you, I love you, I love you. Like never before.” But I’m no “Songbird.” And I’m definitely not Naya Rivera, may she rest in peace. See, I’m a lot nicer than the orange turd, MAGA’s leader, head Cracker Hat.

Always and forever FDT! And the naughty things I would like to do with Naya, 2-B, M Anime, and you…

I should shut the eff up. And as effed up as it seems, I wish I could go back to those days when Braxton first passed away. The silence when I didn’t give a damn about anything or anyone. The things I shouldn’t tell you. So I should be eating. Or on my knees… Prayer.

Nope. Even if you were Kesha, I’m not “Praying.” More like eating. Such a pervert.

Seriously, love, everything is too loud. Especially the voices in my head. And am I still thinking about some STUPID mobile game? Whiteout Survival? Then again, I’m still playing it. And there are so many things I should be doing. I “Can’t Keep Loving You (From A Distance). Love Is Louder! Braxton’s Voice A V8

1780 Days Without B III, Day 1221 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 167 ~Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet~

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When Braxton “passed,” the silence nearly destroyed me. Now I never leave the house without AirPods. Today, Hell, most days, the phone is my enemy… Did I miss work? Am I in trouble? Was I kicked out of the alliance? Poor V? Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet.

Monday, December 15, 2025

Journey 167 ~Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… But are you, You? No, shut it, B? Or shut your pie hole. Shut your piss. “Leave Me Alone?”

Not even a Michael Jackson classic is going to help today. And Virgil? My little brother is asleep in his bed. Plus, what would he say? What can I say? That’s the point, isn’t it?

Daddy, imagine you have come back from “The Bad Place.” I’m an old man, so we didn’t go out for a walk, but we shared a burger and fries. Then you crawl into bed, and I take my place at the foot of it on the corner to watch the door. Hours later, “I’m Still Here.” This is far from a “Treasure Planet,” but I am my father’s son. The furry man that you raised.

So breathe, father. You’re not STUPID. What happened on Sunday that still has you sad?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

No excuses, “Forty-One” (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Okay, so yesterday Virgil “chose” to puke in his potty spot rather than the carpet… Way to go, little bro. Anyway, to make sure he didn’t eat it, eww! You started cleaning the spot. Humans and glow boxes.

Meanwhile, on the little glow box you’re always holding, you were playing “Whiteout Survival.” You were intense, Daddy. But you made a mistake and got a lot of messages from “The Yayhoos” you were playing with. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone? That’s what you would say to M Anime if she were there because you’re humiliated. Well, the rest of the night you’ve been losing things on that little glow box game, and you’ve been sad and scared ever since.

Simply put, you were too busy helping your son to read their instructions, so spamming?

So on one paw, my pa, you don’t want to make a move without someone SPECIFICALLY giving you the instructions. Like “Auidoslave” saying, singing, showing what it means to ask others, “Show Me How to Live,” this existence. On the other paw. You enter “The Long Walk”; you become “The Running Man” because you know what to do, my father.

SURVIVE. And on those two paws, Virgil and I. Daddy, you’ll walk, run, fly after.

Honestly, though, if a game makes you feel like this… Like Carrie, “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You… You might not see anyone this week, but people, Virgil, even yourself.

SILENCE, Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet.

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life,”
Snowed in with Grumpy (Silver Mountain), Olivia Noble

Omnia tuta silent. “All things are safely silent.”
― Aeneid

1779 Days Without B III, Day 1220 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 166 ~Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil~”

WillLeave a comment

A southern man, don’t need him around anyhow. By him, I mean the orange turd in the White House. In other news, it’s cold. Neither B, V, nor I asked for this. But I should get ready for it. I almost tripped like Harkness… “Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil.”

Sunday, December 14, 2025

Journey 166 ~Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil~”

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And have the icicles melted yet from Virgil’s walk? “Whiteout Survival.” Oh my mistake, only gray hairs.

If there is going to be hair on your face or both of your heads, you’d rather be… Um, eww! It’s nearly 11:00, and you’re already thinking about getting busy? Or are you trying to warm up? You finished another erotica and have been on the battlefield with Whiteout Survival. And where’s Braxton in all this crisis, that being your life? “This Is Your Life.”

“Where Christ is in all this crisis?”
He Got Game

“This is your life, and today is all you’ve got now
And, and today is all you’ll ever have.”
Switchfoot

May Braxton have mercy on your soul, because you and God… Well whatever. B’s gone. And Virgil’s beside you or behind you. Whatever keeps the wind chill off, I mean.

Honestly, you were two seconds from being Harkness from The Long Walk. Not that you have anywhere to go this week. You have more time for these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Snowed In With Grumpy, Silver…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

There’ll be a lot less Humiliations Galore since you could stay in bed all week if you so choose. And you’ll have my paycheck to fall back on. However, Christmas memories…

You’re already thinking about “descendant,” replacement, and your victim. Christmas Eve will mark four months after your break-up with M Anime. You won’t have any money because you’re not working this week. Seriously! Your BALLS are on OnlyFans, Braxton’s BOOK is on Amazon, and you’re BUSTING your ass on TikTok. As the song goes, “Where Is My Mind?” Well, my mind went the way of Harkness. Effing dark, right?

Like all Sundays. You’ll learn to hate all days that end in Y. But Sundays hold a special place in Hell. Like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Very Shortly
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But before you go off jerking it to pixies like The Winx Club, FernGully’s Crysta, Tinkerbell, or any of them Succubus “Fairy Tale.” There are some things you should think about… Other than your boys, your existence is bottoming out, or a bunch of yabbos/boobs. Uh, your Ma’s Birthday? Keep that in mind, yes, for this week. A gift, sigh.

What about another grandbaby? There was a time, not so long ago, when you and M Anime were going to play Tommy and Gina “Livin’ On A Prayer,” having babies. Remember M Anime saying you reminded her of a “Sunday Morning.” However, you’re more Lionel Richie than Maroon 5. “Easy like Sunday morning.” I wish I could have given you one. Sundays B Trippin’ Virgil

1778 Days Without B III, Day 1219 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

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I have plenty to be ashamed of, but never my boys. If anything, I’m not a good enough daddy. I have an “ex-girlfriend” M Anime who would say the same. No money, not enough, and my boys are all that matters. But to V, Never B Ashamed, Virgil

Saturday, December 13, 2025

Journey 165 ~Never B Ashamed, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Talk about a group of people who have no shame. I “Party Like A Rock Star.”

And I’m effing broke, a bum, and a boy pretending to be a man. I’m the dad of two boys… Always and Forever, Braxton. I don’t have $3000 duckets to my name. Didn’t I mention I’m glad the Termite Guy didn’t find any termites? And didn’t mention the Carpenter Ant invasion this “Cruel Summer?” And then there’s me always thinking with “My Ding-A-Ling. For the record, I can play the Shop Boyz and not Chuck Berry at the Day Job.

Lunalesca, I won’t have to worry about that next week. Don’t worry, I have hours the week after. Although I did return the speaker to the manager and caught her in a meeting with the other leaders… All women, if you haven’t guessed, my friend.

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feel free to say, “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.” I’m not a “Jumper” yet. But um, I think about it every morning. B, rock bottom, and then “boy, you’re in so much trouble.” How much remains to be seen? Humiliations Galore! And yet I tell everyone, “I’m here.” I’m reading erotica one minute, naked the next, and then between getting it up and posting on X/Twitter eww! I find the time for some Hamlet:

“To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them.”
Hamlet

Which of those should I be ashamed of, Lunalesca? What crimes shall I commit today?

Where will the Magic Glasses take me? Will I “steal” wrestling again? Depends on where Saturday Night’s Main Event is streaming tonight. I know the WWE is in Washington, D.C.

No matter what I do, I’ll never be as bad as MAGA and the Cracker Hats. FDT! I still feel horrible about what I said last night about the local food truck and ICE. But if I do go out today, I won’t go getting my usual Fried Shrimp and Fries. Again, no money, the two guys from last night had no manners, and where is their mother… Is my Ma proud of me, Lu?

Am I proud of myself? Braxton and Virgil, it’s always and forever. Well, 2-V did spit up/vomit in the bedroom yesterday. Anyway, with me, the answer’s not now and never.

But I did get a compliment on my writing. But then I opened my camera. EFF! Never B Ashamed, Virgil

1777 Days Without B III, Day 1218 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 163 ~To B Bugged Virgil~

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Would you call it courageous that I choose to stay here with Virgil and face the termite guy’s judgment rather than waste money at the movies, or let my father handle it? Is it crazy to think he’d bug the house? Hasn’t he ha-ha? “To B Bugged Virgil.”

Thursday, December 11, 2025

Journey 163 ~To B Bugged Virgil~

1775 Days Without B III, Day 1216 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The best part of my day, as it stands, I heard from your Favorite Girl.

It’s always nice to know that someone is wondering whether you’re dead or alive, B.

Honestly, that’s a short list: you, your Favorite Girl, and Virgil eventually… He doesn’t sit on my head as you did. But I still could barely breathe this morning. I know you don’t like me saying that. But I did feel sick this morning. And death’s right up there with my dollars and my d*ck. I know Braxton, Eww! You should see the videos of women calling their men Daddy in front of their kids. I’ve been watching far too many, if you ask me.

I woke up around one in the morning, having accomplished nothing. And now it’s ten-thirty and… Well, I’m sure you know what has me buggin’.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Effing Termite guy will be here around one this afternoon, your grandpa said. Or four. “It Doesn’t Matter.” I don’t have “The Rock’s” money or even Wyclef Jean’s. I’m effed.

And that is one of the things that bugs me the most, B III. I know I’m effed. Hell, me and 2-V are effed, and there is nothing I can do about it. Paranoia, Anxiety, and Humiliation are feasting on my brain. Did I really just say that? Mind, body, and soul B III. Heart…

I’m not MAGA! FDT! I’m not even a Planeteer… Captain Planet? Before your time, B.

Only I know I still have somewhat of a heart because I still care about SOME people and your puppy little brother. Virgil’s five ha-ha.

But today I might not make it past forty-one… (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). What, you thought I had forgotten just because I’ve been on a Stephen King kick these days?

Honestly, every day feels like “The Long Walk,” and I am “The Running Man,” however.

Where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide? Nowhere… ’cause there’s no one like you left
Carol Malone… Body Snatchers (1993)

That’s right, this is you and Virgil’s home, my son. And I’m sorry I have failed you all over again. The backyard fence has two holes. The shed door is chewed to Hell. Don’t ask me about under the house. The floor you once ran on is a mess: the baseboards, paint job, everything. But the wanna be Orkin man, my Old Man, and others feel like the invaders, an infestation. M Anime wouldn’t live here. To B Bugged Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

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My sons are gifts, but B is gone. My girl… excuse me, my woman. M Anime was a gift, but she’ll be getting married in January… And as for myself, at present… Well, I feel more depressed than like a rocket scientist. But, “Braxton The Gifted, Virgil”

Tuesday, December 9, 2025

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Christmastime, ha! “Ooh, sugar pie, honey bunch. You know that I love you.”

‘Tis the season? What, you can love, get laid, and even lament on Christmas. Closer?

Honestly, “I Can’t Help Myself.” What, thinking about gifts for you, our two-legged children, and of course, there’s always Virgil and Braxton. I owe Braxton at least fifteen gifts—five birthdays, Christmases, and homecoming or Gotcha Day. I don’t remember when he hopped into the car, but I’ll never forget Sunday, January 31, 2021. Hell, maybe Gotcha Day could be May 1st. I’m sure I met B sometime in April. And how did I get on this when I’m supposed to be talking about the present? Well, my Christmas presents. Anyway, I THINK I want a breastplate like Maximus from “Gladiator.” But with a picture of both Braxton and Virgil.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And as I walked with Virgil this afternoon, I thought that I want a “monitor belt” or a watch from The Long Walk to measure my walking speed. More like my running speed since I’m “The Running Man,” and all. And that leads me to a question. Safe and sound.

When’s the last time I got something silly? Something salty, saucy, and spicy? In other words, delicious. Oh, I go to the food truck once a week. And stories, either in salacious words or on the big screen. And if it doesn’t suck, what about sexy? Well, I have you.

Somehow, someway, I got you. But I’m a selfish, STUPID, SOB… sorry, Ma. I want… Everything! “The World, Chico, And Everything In It.” That’s me.

And yet I call my firstborn, my B, gifted. He treated every day as a gift. He had all the gifts. And to him, I was the greatest gift of all. Do I give myself too much credit, my love?

Two points make a line. Three points make a pattern. Braxton loved/loves me. And I convinced you to do the same. Well, that was more of a choice… Um, Sunday, August 24, 2025. And what about V and our two-legged children? I’m Daddy, always, forever.

But you know what would be a present, what would make me a good person, what would complete a pattern? If I loved myself. “What I Go To School For?” Busted, because I failed. But Braxton? Braxton The Gifted, Virgil1773 Days Without B III, Day 1214 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will