Tag: Noise

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

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I want the freedom to lie in bed and cry about my boy whenever I feel the spirit. I effing hate Sundays. I want the freedom to lie here and make an income with books and boobies\yabbos. I want the freedom to sleep without FEAR. “Free That B, Virgil.”

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And don’t you even think of giving Virgil advice right now. You won’t take mine. And Braxton’s?

Well, your son loved/loves you. Virgil’s birthday is tomorrow. He’ll be five—four of those years, spent with you. And you still have no idea what he thinks of you. But what about me, hmm? You’re right back to sitting in bed. You need to go to the store. Ridiculous!

Only that’s not to be confused with “Ridiculousness.” Much like the government, MTV is shutting down… That’s what I heard. But like me, you ain’t heard much of nothing. Ha!

Today is “All About You.” If Jeymes Samuel wrote you a theme song? Or how about “Run Boy Run.” But you’re not Woodkid either. You’re a BUM in BED, and you’re BEGINNING to waste another week. Disappointing your boys and yourself with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hysteria: A Victorian Medical Exam Erotica 1 by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Now, let’s talk about Kelli Wolfe’s “Hysteria” and this fixation on HaremLit. I mean M Anime… And no, this is not being negative, but only the truth. M Anime left you to go and join a Cuban man’s harem. But the info on how one can accomplish is out there. Honestly, I haven’t been watching the X-Files or anything. “The XXX Files,” we’ll get there.

Anyway, my point is this. Yes, the truth is out there, so keep reading. Fiction and reality, if Jacob can do it in the Succubus Lord series, Eddie in the Backyard Dungeon series, and Feversham in Kelli Wolfe’s books, and the list goes on. “And The Beat Goes On,” dude.

You’re free from my week. But your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yes, you are meant to be free from some things like these six, but others—for example, your two boys. Never forget you are Braxton and Virgil’s Daddy. No matter where they are in this universe. Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge or Virgil hiding in Braxton’s bedroom. Well, not really, he’s just sitting there communing with the spirit of Braxton. Ah, B III and 2-V.

You are studying up on everything for your new business. If you have a goal, it’s bed, bucks, and bimbos with big Yabbos as Neil Bimbeau would say. Anyway, you must focus on who you’ll be. The person you want to be. Like you have a pair of Magic Glasses.

Freedom from FEAR and FAILURE. FDT! Free That B, Virgil

1722 Days Without B III, Day 1163 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 109 ~I’ll B Awake, Virgil~

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I’m with everyone in spirit. From my son Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge, to his little bro Virgil, who is being “annoying” on a pillow. To all the men, women, and others marching against MAGA and the Cracker Hats. FDT! No KINGS “I’ll B Awake, Virgil.”

Saturday, October 18, 2025

Journey 109 ~I’ll B Awake, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… What for? Because I want to be in bed all day. Braxton? Banging Bimbos? Buying Games?

Ask me what I want on “Any Given Sunday” (a movie I’ve never seen, by the way, football sucks). Anyway, ask me what I want besides my Braxton back or having the balls to leave.

I want to be in bed. Money will solve literally all of my “99 Problems.” But a b*tch… Lady Lu. Am I talking about my EX M Anime or my business? Business ain’t booming, Luna.

But as Kid Rock sings “Only God Knows Why, “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself.
I get behind myself. I need to rewind myself.” More like you’re telling “You need to get up, get out and get somethin'” Like rights? The NO KINGS protest is today. I’m WOKE.

But Lunalesca, I’m so tired!!!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Whatever, Ngga.” “My nggaz need me.” I mean my boys, my sons, Braxton and his little brother Virgil. This means I need to get back to business. The momentum I had a few days ago. I mean, that’s the thing, isn’t it? Doing things that keep me awake and alive.

Aren’t I working out the buttons on Spotify to wake up today, from Hugo to Kid Rock, some Scarface, and now Peter Gabriel. Even my phone told me to turn down the “Boom Boom Pow” in my ears. That means I’m working and making the bucks at the Day Job.

My belly will be grateful. Nothing wakes you up like hunger. And I’ve been craving tacos as of late. Better than TACO Trump that is. Didn’t I mention NO KINGS?

But plenty of Yabbos. Of course, I’ll have the opportunity to do better next week, won’t I, my dear Lady Lunalesca? No need to say “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.” I’m no “Jumper” Lady Lunalesca. And the only falling I’m doing over and over again is into the mattress as I drool over some lady’s yabbos. Excluding my Ex.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Books are good for that, too. I’m reading Backyard Dungeon 21, and one of Eddie’s wives had a child. And another one of his wives is pregnant. Oh, life could be a dream “Sh-Boom.” Thirteen Women (And Only One Man in Town). Lunalesca? Bedroom antics.

You’re telling me, “You better work.” I’ll B Awake, Virgil.

1721 Days Without B III, Day 1162 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

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Not much has changed since last week. Breathing still hurts. And just when I began to smell… Is that money? FEAR of sending money to the wrong place. How many times will I visit the food truck? And Virgil needs a cake. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

1719 Days Without B III, Day 1160 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Well, I miss you. I hate breathing. And “How I Met Your Mother” sucked.

The ending, anyway. And I know that’s a lot to take in, B III. It’s like old times, my boy.

Late afternoon, your Dad, waking up after a hard day at the Day Job. My belly is still full from a big lunch that I can’t afford, but you like fries—Virgil’s big walking adventure.

Braxton, remember when you became an old man and I brought you food to prevent that?

Going outside is overrated, and Virgil will be an old man soon enough. He’ll be a third of your age, five. Hell! A quarter, considering I keep your spirit alive. The thing about air:

“It’s a sacrifice, it takes hard work,
It’s a way of life.”
From “The Glow”

So why keep doing it? Only God Knows Why. NOSE!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As I was huffing and puffing, pulling fixtures at the Day Job, I started thinking about those motivations I had started listening to again. Gratitude, good things, and giving each breath purpose; telling our story to you and the girls. Not being negative. Simply facts.

Like the smell of success. My side hustle. As I told Inspector Echo yesterday, I did make money. Earlier today, I had a few nibbles from some prospective buyers. Dreaming?

Braxton, you remember the dream, don’t you? I wanted to write from a beach somewhere.

You and Virgil would be the ones sweating through your fur, pulling your two-legged siblings from the salt water. And the best breath I would ever take would be free!

Honestly, to breathe without FEAR!

When you were here, Braxton, “My eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom.” There was less FEAR. But with your Virgil around… Bless your furry little brother. I suppose I should look at everything as an opportunity. I must be brave, B.

What’s that movie where they say, Smells Like Victory? But being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums), looking to be Forty-Seven in The Long Walk, the novel, of course, B III. But for the record, I’d let you win in the movie. Making movies. Honestly Braxton.

Films featuring men and women sweating in the throes of passion. B, providing a life. When you breathe air, my heir, I hope you do a little better than me. Breathing. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 105 ~Virgil, That’ll B Reality~

WillLeave a comment

Virtual Insanity is the name of the game today, or rather tonight. I’ve been advancing my studies all day between the Day Job. And I’m actually getting paid! But wait, where’s my girl, and my firstborn son? For now, though… Virgil, That’ll B Reality.

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Journey 105 ~Virgil, That’ll B Reality~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? It’s the fact that I’m still here. Cause I’m real, like Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Hell, I was so tired on that day, and today, I don’t know whether I’m dreaming half the time. Fiction, Artificial Intelligence, or will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare? My 150-word Depression cap? That Braxton is still in a box? Or what has or hasn’t happened between us. Effing time travel, alternate history, and destiny. Seriously our effing destiny…

And no, I don’t mean a woman with that name… For once. It was FATE that I met you, and I met my firstborn son. I’m damn near ready to say that I manifested both you and him—Braxton in a plate of French Toast or Waffles. And you were a story, my love. Lots.

Lots of love, and if I can’t have you, um…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Well, before I had you taking my last name, I had to learn to write my first name. I swear. I’m sure I told Lady Sophia this, but what ignited my love of writing was the first time I remember penning my name, and I didn’t even know it. Truth and fiction, living in peace.

My love, while I’m thinking ‘happy’ thoughts about my childhood. I love the nights of waking up to the ending themes of Inuyasha, “Fukai Mori” in particular. To think things couldn’t get any better, but dogs have fur and women have Yabbos. But our children.

Those kids of ours. I go back to Sunday, August 24, 2024, and what I must have said to you. I love all our children.

But you have to understand that it was my Braxton that taught me how to love, four legs and all. He couldn’t be more my son if he shared my “DNA.” THEY “Not Like Us.” I’m a dog dad, you’re a cat mom, and now we share all these two-leggeds protecting them from MAGA and the Cracker Hats like Kendrick Lamar sings about. Honestly beloved.

You know I love music, movies, and manuscripts in audio form, ha. I’m shielding myself from reality, or I was because you’re here, Braxton, his little brother Virgil, the kids.

Because there is no fate but what we make. And if I knew I loved you before I met you. I’ll find you again. In Reality. Virgil, That’ll B Reality

1717 Days Without B III, Day 1158 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 104 ~To B Discovered Virgil~

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I discovered I had a son when he had his furry face in a plate of French Toast or waffles. I discovered my other son in a pen at PetSmart, knowing how to use the training pad. And as for finding myself. I’m still alive. Dammit! To B Discovered Virgil

Monday, October 13, 2025

Journey 104 ~To B Discovered Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Surprised I’m still here? It’s like the day you discovered me in your plate of French Toast. Isn’t it?

Or was it waffles? Do I look like Donkey from Shrek to you? Admit it, Dad, you’d say I look dead. And if I were a zombie, you’d still have me in a room, locked away, feeding on anyone you could get your hands on. And you’d lie, saying that everything is ok. I know.

I’m not sounding very chipper. Am I getting into the spirit of Halloween? Or is it the fact that today is Indigenous Peoples’ Day? Never Columbus Day. “Everybody Hates Chris.”

But I can never hate you, Dad, as if I don’t bark that to you more often than not. Whisper. And “If You Don’t Know Me by Now.” Because “I’m not lost, I’m not lost, just undiscovered.” And discovery Daddy…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I discovered that I have the best dad in the whole wide world, even when you didn’t want to believe it. The man who watched me dive face-first into a plate of waffles. The one who took me on my first walk. Who drew blood on blood because my life matters. Braxton’s Life Matters. You’ve been saying that forever, and even at the end, you loved me enough to “Send Me On My Way.” However, we both discovered I didn’t go far, Daddy. That’s right

Case in Point, Virgil being knocked out at the foot of the bed. You didn’t bring McDonald’s back for my little bro? Fries and sleep. That’s like you thinking about “waffles and pu$$y.” The Purge: Election Year. Our movie nights.

I remember when we both discovered my favorite girl. It only took me six months to decide I liked you inviting her to movie nights. She would always share her food with me, and she even made me a cake. Remember, Dad, Virgil’s birthday is on the 20th. He’s 5.

Or he will be soon. And you’re still “Forty-One.” I can hear the drums too, Daddy. Ben-Hur, The Ten Commandments, and Spartacus, to name a few. We watched our classics.

And even if it won’t be you and M Anime, God, “Bless The Broken Road. “The Long Walk,” my father. You walk on, you row on, and sooner or later, you will discover your wish. I long to discover your happiness. To B Discovered Virgil

“I want to know what life was like once.”
Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“There, happiness and a kingdom are in store for you, with a queen for you to marry.”
― The Aeneid

1716 Days Without B III, Day 1157 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What is real? How do you define real? The real me isn’t paid enough for the fiction I write. The fakes are everywhere. Then there are my two furry sons, Braxton and Virgil. One’s book doesn’t sell, and the other everyone finds cute. To B Real, Virgil

Sunday, October 12, 2025

Journey 103 ~To B Real, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And have I mentioned I hate Braxton being dead? I hate MAGA. FDT! “I hate most everybody.”

“But most of all I hate, oh, I hate you.” Get Set Go. What a way to start your morning.

Actually, it was with Cheryl Lynn’s “Got To Be Real.” Leagues above Gloria Gaynor, hm?

I guess you don’t know music that well, but Gloria Gaynor supports Trump. And so…

FDT! But he is your reality, amongst other things. However, the truth is reality sucks.

Woke up on the wrong side of the dirt patch this morning, huh?
The Mill

“I don’t want reality!”
Senator Markwayne Mullin (Cracker Hat, duh)

Only living in a VR world with artificial intelligence playing, It Was Just My Imagination.

The Temptations indeed. But it’s not doing you any favors. Hell! It was giving me nightmares as I dreamt about M Anime. She’ll be married in four months—honestly, dude.

Trying to fake it till you make it, 150-word depression cap, really? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 20, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But what are three things you can be grateful for “Here and Now” that are real? B III and 2-V, and yourself. B III? “He Lives In You.” You took 2-V walking. “The Long Walk.”

You’re sounding just like Pete McVries. “We out here in the sunshine, just having fun.”

And you can stop walking and have lunch. The fact that you have a plan for lunch at all means that you have a future. Even further along. the thought that “when the sun’s comin’ up, I got cakes on the griddle.” Your future, as I got you to the door. You know what you have to do, even if M Anime isn’t on the other side. Women like her exist like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What’s real is your name. It’s on the Day Job schedule, meaning you’ll have money.

Honestly, is there anything realer than “that lean, mean, mean green. Almighty dollar, money.” And you’ve already bought Virgil his food, so he’ll never starve. Virgil having a full belly should always be real. And if you must dream, let it be of B III.

Somewhere across the Rainbow Bridge, in Elysium, Lord Heaven’s above you know that he’s eating his heart out. That is not depression; it’s the truth of little B’s everlasting spirit.

You’re a preacher? Easy (Like Sunday Morning). For now, yes. You’re sitting in your bed with the mirror across from you and what Braxton thought of at the glow box, really, To B Real, Virgil.

1715 Days Without B III, Day 1156 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 102 ~Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

For the love of money. Braxton needs more than some “man” mourning over him for 1714 days. And Virgil needs a father. And what have I done for 1155 days since his arrival? I Don’t Wanna Work as Valerio sings. But Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil.

Saturday, October 11, 2025

Journey 102 ~Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Seriously, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Donald Trump, eww! “I Wanna Be Like You,” then?

And not them. If anything, Lady Lunalesca, I want to go back to bed. What was I doing up at midnight? Four years ago, had I been so dedicated, I could say that I know “How To Save A Life,” that of my son Braxton. And it’s not like I’m doing Virgil any favors, Lu.

My new business venture. I should be working on “my books.” More books, more books!

But now I’m blaming the Day Job and a crappy computer. Again, the things I was doing instead of seeing to my sons’ business. I’m “Forty-One” (Cue Ben-Hur Galley drums).

Now I mentioned a bunch of MAGA Cracker Hats. How can you label somebody both as lazy and stealing a job? Anyone want my life?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I will always believe this Lady Lunalesca. The best job, the best business I ever owned, fell right into my lap. More like jumped or crawled. It was being Braxton’s Daddy. I never asked for it. But much like when M Anime and I would talk… Just stating facts, Luna.

Being a father to some two-legged progeny is something I wanted to do. And writing? Lunalesca, it would allow me to stay home with my children. But that’s not the only reason I write. It’s sort of like being “The Receiver of Memory,” aka “The Giver.” There is so much inside me, Lunalesca. And sharing it somehow, someway, gives release.

Honestly, another fact like saying “I’m So Thankful” for the Day Job. I can think.

These days, it’s been about the new ASM “J.” Looking at her, I know that the Day Job is not what I want for my future. However, I do want to own a media empire one day. Like I’ve always talked about, manuscripts, movies, at the center, will be mammaries.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Lunalesca, those have had me up. “And after spending nights. Thinking how you did me wrong,” which I sing into the mirror. For people? For myself? And Gloria Gaynor. Sigh.

A fact, Lady Lunalesca, Gloria’s a Cracker Hat. Anyway, the point is, AI and business.

Only my actual business should be, as David Wooderson said, “You just gotta keep livin’ man, L-I-V-I-N.” I WILL catch my breath for B and V. Braxton’s Business, Breathing Virgil

1714 Days Without B III, Day 1155 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Breathing hurts. One more thing I was trying to ignore as my son Braxton got sick. Then everything became how to keep him breathing. When he didn’t, it wasn’t the finality of his death, fear, or my failure—just air. “Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…”

Thursday, October 9, 2025

Journey 100 ~Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…~

1712 Days Without B III, Day 1153 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m coming to you on a Wednesday evening, so you know how my day was.

Or your NOSE does. But I welcome you into my business. And everyone else? Seriously!

I should just play Stephani’s Sunday Symphony so everyone knows M Anime broke my heart. Well, you did too, B, but as The Bullitts sing, “Today is All About You.” Well, me, Braxton, you know what I mean. My head hurts, my stomach. Everything generally.

However, that wasn’t the reason for this thought: The two worst things I ever did were starting to breathe and stopping yours. And your little brother, Virgil. I smell FEAR.

Honestly, I wish I could be as elegant as Agent Smith or Finnick Odair. But almost at 150 words, AI Censorship and I’m an A-Hole…

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink, and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it. It’s — it’s repulsive! Isn’t it?”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

“I wish they were d. I wish they were all d and we were too”
Finnick Odair, Mockingjay – Part 1

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But tomorrow I get paid, which means there should be plenty to breathe in food-wise, B.
You were never picky, B, unless it came to what I hid your medicine in. I usually hide V’s meds in pasta. But the food truck is still outside. And tonight there’s Rotisserie Chicken.

And maybe I’ll even order it online. You know I’m not one for people, even with my new earbuds. But as Greg Plitt put it, “Behind every fear is the person you want to be.” And that makes me smile. Remember another bad evening when you stood protecting me, B?

Don’t “they” talk about blood, sweat, and tears, B? I’m starting to think that’s courage. And you were courageous. Neo, Braxton, more like Link, right?

From The Legend of Zelda… I haven’t been gaming much these days, Braxton. But AI. Now that’s something I’ve stuck my nose in. It’s fresh and new to me. Only the way I interact with it… Well, your Dad needs some alone time, but you like munchies, money, and making your old man stay on task, at least where writing was concerned, my B III.

And speaking of an old man and this evening. I’m hoping not to hear from your grandfather. That’s not me being negative, simply stating the facts. When “The Man Comes Around,” I didn’t want to leave you alone with him. 2-V is still breathing, Braxton.

Lucky him and me, right B? “Two of the Lucky Ones.” Braxton, Please Breathe; Virgil…

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 098 ~V’s In Love, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I should have let Braxton become a Dad. But the only b*tch that was ever after him, he hated. I know the feeling. 2-V doesn’t have the balls… Literally, but he still wants to be loved. Trying to cuddle as soon as I move my plate. V’s In Love, Braxton

Tuesday, October 7, 2025

Journey 098 ~V’s In Love, Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But how does that look to you? Or should I go “How Does It Feel?”

I don’t have D’Angelo’s physique. But I’m not ashamed of my body either. Though I wish I knew how I got this cut on my head. “I can’t remember what was said or what you threw at me.” But then again, I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” Husband’s infinite playlist.

Anything to not hear you walk out the door. Hell, Virgil might want to go with you. I wouldn’t blame the little guy. Braxton loved me like pancakes, and still, he’d go running out the door. Why? Because these days, I can remember what fear tastes like. But what does love look like? Your husband did a bad, bad thing yesterday. An illusion of love? Seeing is believing. But the man I am inside, inside…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Will I choose water or wine?” I don’t need DRINKS or DRUGS to love you, for my DESIRE for you, much like my music is endless. Braxton and Virgil taught me how to love. So call me a dog with “All These Things That I’ve Done.” God… Dogs are love.

Darling, give me the Backyard Dungeon, Bikini Days, or the Babysitter Harem series over the Bible any day. But this morning, as I contemplated “Can You Love Me Again,” I thought about the book/film “Divergent.” Brave, Selfless, Smart, Kind, Honest…

Everything a boy becomes a man. And do you know what it takes to do that, my “Sweet Love?” “All You Need Is Love.” It’s like B III’s dog hair or Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Valiant. “I drive myself crazy, wanting you the way that I do.” Loving you is a way of loving myself. Because, as I often quote from “Breaking Bad.” A man provides, which means every day I choose you by choosing myself. The “Man in the Mirror.” Do you know how hard that is? Then you kiss me, or you lie here beside me, love. Happiness.

Speaking of hard things. Love can be a vice. An “Obsession,” you’re my obsession, much like my music, ha-ha. And maybe that’s the thing. I know plenty of ways THEY talk about love. But if I had to give it a sound, Braxton’s nails on the floor, our baby’s cry, Virgil cuddling up next to me. V’s In Love, Braxton.

1710 Days Without B III, Day 1151 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 097 ~You Could B Me~

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As Braxton grew older, I would often give him a choice. Do you want to take a walk, or should we put in some work on these burgers and fries? He and I were of the same mind. He wanted to be like me. I want to be like him. “You Could Be Me.”

Monday, October 6, 2025

Journey 097 ~You Could B Me~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And that was a bad choice of words. You Could B Me. It’s all you ever think about, Daddy.

Really shuffling off the mortal coil. Losing the meat sack, not being a meat popsicle.

Honestly, from Shakespeare to Futurama, and The Fifth Element. And can I also bark eww, Dad? But neither of us is any good with words. We were one in the same, my father, weren’t we? And yet in the “Interlude,” this thing I called life, I could say, “And in this moment, I am happy.” You sing I “Wish You Were Here.” Your little playlist.

Seriously, Daddy, you never called me that, but that’s proof that I’m still here at this moment lying beside you? You’d read from your library, we’d have a listening party, or you’d lie about writing. But like Markwayne Mullin, you scream, “I don’t want reality.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Because You Could B Me; to keep me awake and alive, “In Your Eyes,” all you have to do is listen to me. Hell, listen to Virgil, my little brother. If anything, I know he loves you, Dad. Guys like me and him wouldn’t fight so hard to be around you. Dad, you are home.

You can’t see air, the beat of your heart, or the butterflies that will one day appear for our future stepmom, but it’s all there, Daddy. It never left, just like my Dad. Always. Forever.

Everything and “Nothing At All.” It’s faith, Dad. Isn’t It Ironic that we were both atheists and at the moment I… Let’s say I got a haircut and lost the furry weight, we became holy.

I became books, bucks, more than your boy, but everyone’s. That’s the dream, isn’t it, Daddy? I will never be bones. And Bailey from “A Dog’s Purpose” has his fandom.

Daddy, “God Bless The Child” that got his own. Daddy, you’re mine. Always my father.

You keep me in beautiful art. Your blankets, no matter how well washed, still have me and now your little V. There are breaths of me in clothing from my first day to my last day. “You Could B Me” as much as you keep me here. And that is the point, isn’t it, Dad?

My strength, my spirit, and what is that something? Yesterday, you asked for peace. You want to be me? Be Happy. You Could B Me.

“My plan is to make things right, as much as I can.”
Backyard Dungeon 20

“The seeds of life – fiery is their force, divine their birth, but they are weighed down by the bodies’ ills or dulled by limbs and flesh that’s born for death.”
― The Aeneid by Virgil

1709 Days Without B III, Day 1150 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son