Tag: Future

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

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Am I afraid I might die? I’d spend eternity looking for B. And my head is a cruel place, the 9th Circle will try its best. The fact that my son’s cold body was turned to ash. And with Virgil and my girl, “I See Fire.” Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code.

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Even when I’m sick, skeevy, and especially when I’m scared out of my mind. Now?

Let me just say, I’ll feel ‘better’ when this effing month is over. I’ll love you more? I do that anyway. You know the man that you married. And every minute you choose to stay.

Preferably on your knees… I had to go there, didn’t I? Eww! But one more reason to like sex. You on your knees, hands and knees, bent over, on your back, on your belly, etc.

Seriously, am I so horny this morning after I… after we… um we’re “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit” Like Dennis Hof, I’m always looking for the next party until I’m ‘physically’ unable.

However, the question is how I feel today. Let’s stick with the physical. Dearest love.

Today, like most, I wish I felt like my Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Which one would you rather listen to? Me talking about how much I want to do you, my love… or fantasizing about us doing you, me, or us. Or me talking about doing myself so

So I can join my firstborn. How about Virgil still being here? And you? Our kids who may actually have a chance at joining the human race. And that in itself is “Killing Me Softly.”

Honestly, comedy comes in three, and today I’m waiting on three things with 99 Problems.

  1. I’m waiting to join my Braxton with bated breath
  2. I’m waiting for my existence to be utterly destroyed
  3. I’m waiting to do something to save myself somehow.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho

“It’s an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.”
―

Homer had the right idea. “Tomorrow When The War Began.”

And here I am crying again. Yes, I’m in pain, and like Katniss Everdeen, you pull the best move, you know. Am I sick to enjoy the pain I inflict on you. Or sicker to admit that I need you for my mental, physical, and emotional pain. It breaks the bro code, guy code, hmm.

Gale: I knew you’d do that

Katniss: How I didn’t.

Gale: Cause I’m in pain. That’s the only way that I can get your attention
― The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

To say that I long to fall as my B did. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone. And at the same time, I beg you to stay with me during this “Mad Season.” Or Hell if I run, to follow me. I’m sick one minute, but A Man Provides in the next. It’s the code, forever.

That’s what I promised. The way. Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code

1885 Days Without B III, Day 1326 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 272 ~Who You’ll B, Virgil~

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I don’t like who I am right now. Tired, horny, and scared of what the day will bring. And any optimism is a Placebo. An energy drink. The belief that I can hear my son. Wanting to answer his hot-as-hell stepmom. I am hopeless. “Who You’ll B, Virgil.”

Monday, March 30, 2026

Journey 272 ~Who You’ll B, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Seeing as how it’s 2:30 AM, you’d tell me it won’t be. Dad?

I’d want to argue with you, but none of my kind would ever with their Dads or Moms, ever. And I know the only reason you’re up so early is because of “The Bad Place.”

Daddy, again, I wish I could say anything to help. “Sunrise, Sunset.” Always and forever.

I know who you’ll be when you walk through that door again. Believe it or not, my brother does too. What, did you think I’m the “Last of My Kind”? Well, I’m your last Braxton?

Not if my potential stepmom, M Anime, has anything to say about that. Two-legged kids?

You and I both still wonder who she sees. But as far as Virgil and I at this moment, later on, “Here and Now.” Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You’re our Daddy. Our father, who art in Heaven. First off, “The Lord’s Prayer,” like we’re in “Sarafina” or something. Whatever keeps you awake, right, Dad, for the day ahead

Second, wouldn’t I be the one in Heaven? For now, you can believe I’m sitting in your lap all curled up like a pancake. Another reason, I got my nickname. But who am I, Dad?

Third, lastly, and most importantly, I am your son. Perfectly yours. The Book of Clarence.

More like the Book of Will. Since your invisible friend in the “glow box…” Who am I to talk about being an invisible friend, right? Anyway, since you and your invisible friend in the “glow box” talk about movies, Mortal Kombat, Clarence, how many more…

I’d be Elijah, M Anime would be Varinia and Virgil… Thomas, maybe? You are twins.

Except for this one thing. I, she, and he love you. And I know you see that, my dear father.

And don’t think I didn’t see all that stuff you said yesterday about hating yourself.

Honestly, the things you say, Dad. I wish I didn’t have to hear that from you. Especially after everything you did for me. “It’s Only Love.” And barking ow, which I wish I didn’t hear half the things you and Ms. M Anime say to each other. I mean eww! Do you believe I will return, two legs and all, should she have a son? And you’ll still be my Dad? Who You’ll B, Virgil

“I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?”
― Cast Away

“Learn from me, boy, true courage and hard work; learn fortune from others.”
The Aeneid

1884 Days Without B III, Day 1325 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 271 ~Braxton, Virgil, Time Me~

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“Look at me, look at me, hands in the air like it’s good to be alive.” And not looking at my watch. Watches cost money. And what about the phone, the alarm clock, and B’s resting place? Better to face those than my own face. Braxton, Virgil, Time Me.

Sunday, March 29, 2026

Journey 271 ~Braxton, Virgil, Time Me~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And if you don’t know me by now. I hate you. Too harsh. I hate your face.

But the only thing I hate more than your face is the face of the clock. It’s across the room.

Why? I would rather look at the box that Braxton resides in on the nightstand. I mean, tell me I’m wrong. The picture frame that holds all your memories of him. The dog tag you wear has your favorite picture of you and your son. I swear I even put that up on Whiteout Survival. ‘Trust Me,’ and I don’t mean that in an orange turd type of way. FDT!

Anyway, having B III’s face somehow takes the hurt from your game team. Tartar heads!

Will there ever come a time when you don’t use a Starship Troopers reference? When you accomplish… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hometown Heat Wave: Book 2
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Would that put a smile on your face? First, don’t smile. Have you seen your teeth? And what about 2-V’s breath? Um, you would settle for knowing what the eff is wrong with V. He gave you a look this morning that says, “Figure it out.” The Walking Dead’s Siddiq.

Yep, by the time you realize what’s going on, you’ll be meeting B again, permanently.

And at what time did you think you were getting to Heaven? And if he’s loyal enough to you… Don’t ever question Braxton’s loyalty! He would be waiting for you at the gates of Hell. And what’s that look? Better than the one you gave as the clock ticked away, and grunted and moaned for M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Like the idea that you can hold out until she really gets here. And even if Braxton and Virgil’s potential mom arrives, “Get Here,” if she can, what will you have to offer her, hmm?

I’ll say one thing: your movie, musical, and manuscript tastes blend all over. Being honest.

It’s like putting a clock in a blender and what comes out. Another mess of wasted time, and you drink it up. I mean, does it count if it’s love? It’s not like you love M Anime… Uh, do you? Could It Be I’m Falling In Love”? That’s the question you’ll ask during the week.

As you watch the clock hands spin around. Walk Virgil around the block. Rounds with M… Braxton, Virgil, Time Me

1883 Days Without B III, Day 1324 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 270 ~Here, B Dragons, Virgil~

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“With a safe home and a warm bed. On a quiet little street.” Today, 2-V and I walked chilly streets where some let their fur kids run wild. A battle in a wintry wonderland in WOS. Warming up my girl or turning her off? I worry. Here, B Dragons, Virgil

Saturday, March 28, 2026

Journey 270 ~Here, B Dragons, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And ironically, if I REALLY were, I’d spend eternity in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Lunalesca.

And not in Fourth Circle for Greed? Yes, I know the Circles of Hell, Dear Lunalesca, thanks to the Succubus Lord Series. But no, every billionaire I know and that ain’t many is an enemy of humanity in one way or another. Traitors, they have betrayed, and such is the nature of Treachery. And yet I wish to join their ranks. It doesn’t get much worse than MAGA, right? FDT! But we’ll get to that. Of course, my greatest betrayal was that of my firstborn son, Braxton. If not for him, I’d get the Second Circle easily. Such is Lust.

Hell, “Somewhere That’s Green.” If Braxton finds me, he’ll save me a seat by the fire, Lunalesca. Not cold but comfortable, in some woman’s c*nt.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Eww! And excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. I mean, this is no way to speak to a Lady. But then, to M Anime, I would say “You Are My Lady.” No, I’m not Freddie Jackson either.

But M Anime is my Lady as well. And you should have heard me talking to her hours ago. I burn for her. But she was one of many fires today. And while I was saying the dirtiest, depraved, and most downright devilish things to her, there was real knowledge.

“They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
Alfred Pennyworth.

So is that why I’m sitting on my ass instead of taking a stand, shouting, and trying to change the world, somehow, someway at a NO KINGS PROTEST? I wish Lunalesca.

Only today… Sigh. More Whiteout Survival and our conversation.

A conversation about what, exactly? How my second-born and I were outside today. And it was a bit chilly? Virgil gets enough of that with my cold heart. Trying Lunalesca.

“I touch the fire, and it freezes me.
I look into it and it’s black.
Why can’t I feel,
My skin should crack and peel.
I want the fire back.”

Honestly, every single day I’m trying. Braxton has the hottest potential stepmom.

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, “Have You Seen Her”? When she and I get together…

Anyway, besides her, now I’m sweating bullets… With all the virtual bloodshed in the snow of Whiteout Survival. We won SVS. There’s also my nerves about the USA Lady Lu

And then there’s always FEAR. I wish I could say the dragon’s outside. Guarding riches…

Hell, M Anime, and I believe we could raise dragon slayers or riders. Ignite existence?


“Light a Match, Ignite a War”
― Captive State (2019)

“I Will Go Sailing No More…” Here, B Dragons, Virgil

1882 Days Without B III, Day 1323 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll always return to what I said and didn’t say to my son in his last moments. If I’d asked, he would have fought. But I gave him my ‘blessing’ to go. And I didn’t promise to stay. Five years later, with his “stepmom.” Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

Thursday, March 26, 2026

Journey 268 ~Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World~

1880 Days Without B III, Day 1321 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for me? “Son, what you don’t understand. My words might never explain. So I am hoping that time will.”

And you have eternity. I never know how much time I have left. And with how sick I’ve been. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, The Cherry Collision, and now The M Mashup. Hopefully, I’ll meet your potential stepmom in the flesh someday, B III. SIGH.

We’ll get to her in due time. But the thing is “Right Now.” What, you didn’t know your Daddy knows a little Van Halen? And now your brother knows. Honestly, Virgil and I are still feeling each other out. And your little brother is the reason that “Right Now” I don’t crawl back into bed, and what? Give up. I’ve been giving up forever, Braxton.

Seriously, if there were a button I could press today.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I shouldn’t say such things. Things like Goodbye. But the sweetest dream or the scariest nightmare. Anything is better than this, Braxton. It’s why I woke up on time and then promptly went back to sleep. This morning’s big three have been Whiteout Survival, your potential stepmom, and porn. But “that’s major boring shit. Let’s do something a little more fun.” I had a dream last night about zombie postal carriers. And since comedy comes in threes, there was my own trip to the post office. And the movies The Postman and 1408. You remember the scene when they wrecked the post office around John Cusack/Mike Enslin. Then throw in 1984, some zombies, and the creepy tune from The Ocarina of Time—the Potion Shop.

The word for it is “Creepy.” I was picking up some coveralls, but I was thinking “So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive.” Incubus? Really? Well, I do have my Succubi. I swear, B, other than the book about your passing and our talks here, I can’t have you reading any of my writing. But that’s for another day. Me Before You, hmm.

Braxton, if that were true, I would have already followed you. But for you, Virgil, and M Anime. Your potential stepmom is “Livin’ On The Edge” with me, and I’m trying to talk her away from it. Why? She wants to be a mom, there’s V, and you’re still barking LIVE.
Braxton’s Word, Virgil’s World

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 266 ~Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup~

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You can’t pour from an empty cup. Inside the fridge… Empty Wendy’s, Zaxby’s, whatever those cheap Icee’s are at the gas station. And my empty head… Uh, which one? Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5’s Kyouko Sakai. But feeding my boys. “Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup”

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Journey 266 ~Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That means “Ready or Not,” I’ll give you everything and more. After 7? 10:24 AM

To be right on the money. For the Love of Money, as The O’Jays sing. How much does it cost to keep me, well us, in music, movies, and manuscripts, I wonder? I should really give it a think with this financial situation. “A Man Provides” even while Breaking Bad.

As bad as I was, keeping Braxton’s food and water bowls filled for years after his passing away. Euthanasia? Murder? Hell! It was only a year and some change, Sunday, January 31, 2021, Braxton’s gone. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Virgil arrives. But his own bowl…

Honestly, I couldn’t even do that for V, and I had a lot more cash. But an empty cup, love.

Then, what’s with all our two-legged Rugrats running all over?

And I love’em. I love you. Hell! I was walking Virgil this morning, and I swear I saw a brown doggo much bigger than him. My “Mind Playing Tricks On Me.” My eyes, to be specific. But I’m not dumb enough to believe MAGA. Eff the Cracker Hats and FDT. But anyway with Virgil, “so I grabbed him up and run him out of there,” like I was Forrest Gump. And here’s my point. Every day when I think I’m “All Out Love,” there’s more.

My love, I keep scooping, pouring, dishing it out. The AI says that the love I have for my two furry sons just multiplies to you, our two-legged children, to “A Whole New World that I’m existing in. Obsessing over.

You’re my “Obsession.” But it’s like “I Love You Too Much.” And that’s not a bad thing, my love, no, not ever. Hell! I love Braxton forever and always. But it’s like I was saying yesterday about choosing the wrong battlefield. I love you enough to love myself. Or try.

I hate myself. And as much love as I have to give you, my boys, our loves, and even more.

There’s nothing left for me. In pornographic terms… I’ve been thinking about Bible Black: New Testament, or was it Bible Black Only? Whatever! Anyway, it’s like those women draining that guy of his fluids. He has fun, but he’s left a shell. That’s me today. Love, it’s too much, I’m toxic… Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup

“Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

1878 Days Without B III, Day 1319 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 265 ~Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil~

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I’m fighting to stay awake. My allies? B III fought for 15 years. 16? 13 days shy of his birthday. Virgil doesn’t know if I’ll be friend or foe. Do I love him? And what about my lady? Her “ballistics.” Where’s Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil?

Monday, March 23, 2026

Journey 265 ~Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Your face looks graver than mine. First, it’s 2:00 AM. Second? Bad joke.

Yours is the face of The Walking Dead, dear father. We are “The Walking Dead.”

Honestly, the “Glow Box” at a time like this? What else should we do? We men, ain’t we, Daddy? Should we pray like the 54th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment? I remember.

History lessons, or the last time you prayed, the week we… I… lost the war. No, no, not ever! Just like you and Acceptance. Am I asking you to accept this? Um, Dad, not ever.

What brings me to you today is a few things. No, I don’t want everything that would make me a… Anyway, you tried to teach me to respect women. Plus, my potential stepmom, M Anime, isn’t that type of lady, wanting everything, wanting a war.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My father, no one would accuse you and me of being military masterminds. But Daddy…

A: We choose the wrong battlefields. Wrong place, wrong time.
B: We fight the wrong enemy or everyone at once
C: We can’t choose peace.

And even now, you wish you could be more Gordon Freeman and less Morgan Freeman:

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”

How MAGA of you. One more reason I wish I were there with you, Dad. In the fur sort of speak. You’re not MAGA, my father. You’re a tired black man in every way, and it’s because you’re “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Which leads to B. Leads to me.

Minuteman? That’s what you are. No, not like that, Eww! I know you and M Anime are planning two-legged kids.

Virgil will have his paws full—my poor little brother. You want the world to be a better place for my favorite girl and the woman you chose, the kids as wobbly as I was on four, and for the worst man in the world… I wish every mirror reflected what you saw in my eyes every day. It’s why you’re so… Excited because I know you’re never HAPPY, but you’re glad when Virgil gets up and greets you at the gate instead of staying on his pillow as if welcoming you, and not some warrior—a war hero who’s too hurt from the day.

Seriously, like Fallout 4, Kojin Taxi 2, or Mortal Kombat. You’re fighting. I’m fighting with you. Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil

“There’s a peace that’s only to be found on the other side of war.”
―

“I seek Italy not of my own will.”
The Aeneid

1877 Days Without B III, Day 1318 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 264 ~Virgil Of Planet B~

WillLeave a comment

And on what planet did my firstborn son, Braxton, not pass away? On the same one where I can switch places with Johnny Sins, or talk young women into a Bangbus or Fake Taxi. The same one where Six Impossible Things GET DONE. “Virgil Of Planet B”

Sunday, March 22, 2026

Journey 264 ~Virgil Of Planet B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And to put things bluntly, it’s like you’re taking my head off her. You know “Highlander” style.

What’s things you shouldn’t tell AI for $500? Not that it would have an answer. And since you have movies on the brain, the Highlander series, The Long Walk, The Running Man, and that scene where “Forrest Gump” is running across America… Seriously, an answer.

What’s today’s question? You won’t ask how to ACCEPT Braxton’s passing. That’s never going to happen. If you talked to Virgil Vivi, you’d ask, “What seems to be your boggle?”

“Demolition Man”? Really? It feels like everything you touch is all coming apart, and it’s only been nine hours. It’s like existing in the Bexhill camp from “Children of Men”.

Honestly, you need a movie night. You, Virgil, and Braxton (in spirit). Forgetting Braxton should be on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 11 by Neil Bimbeau (Sorority Harem Series)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am
    Failed

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

What about joining Braxton, your personal “Spirit In The Sky”? If lust wasn’t considered a sin, had plenty of women with skimpy bikinis and big ole Yabbos. But you don’t live in a porno at most or “This Is The End” at least. Are you done with the movie references?

Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil. You’ve got a better shot at making porno with M Anime.

For your eyes only. Only if you were a goddess and had a body like hers, there’s a lot of “Opportunities,” And now there’s even more music. Didn’t someone say, I wish life came with a soundtrack so I know what’s going on. You rather it was Street Blowjobs, Bangbus, or Fake Taxi. But here, Planet B. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING I Have No Clue Whatsoever
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My SONS Think I Am

Failure is par for the course. Again, you look at the combination of Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil. I got AI to combine them with your words, these words, and a word. You won’t be an A-Lister anytime soon. Or a writer asking AI to do all the heavy lifting.

Please! Eric Vall and Neil Bimbeau. Are you lashing out because of jealousy, frustration, or your STUPIDITY? All the above? You’re thinking of your aunt. She had you all wrong.

Destroying the world was never the point. Leaving it primarily, transforming it through apocalyptic means or a dystopian existence, Hell, even saving it. Mortal Kombat!

However, will you do that? No KINGS Day Protest. FDT! Kojin Taxi 2? “Not Quite Paradise.” Virgil Of Planet B

1876 Days Without B III, Day 1317 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 263 ~Sea Braxton And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Drowning is one of my greatest fears, physically speaking. I was drowning in Far Cry 5 once, and I turned the game off. But no time for games now. Sweating from writing, whining, and worthless security. Not as bad as M Anime’s. Sea Braxton And Virgil

Saturday, March 21, 2026

Journey 263 ~Sea Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And somewhere, The Killers sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “When You Were Young”?

I’m not so much anymore. And today I’m feeling like I should have been gone long before forty-one (cue Ben Hur gallery drums). Back when I had a chance of seeing Jesus. I’m not an atheist thanks to Braxton. And someday Virgil… The souls of my sons do not vanish.

But it will take a miracle to see my Braxton again. And it will take another one to understand my Virgil—something like walking on water. Clarence, I’m not Lunalesca.

Honestly, what I wouldn’t give to ask my M Anime, “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” M Anime is sick of snow, not Snow Patrol. And Chasing Cars, my dear Lunalesca. At this moment, my Lady, I’m “Dead In the Water.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m reminded of the many, many nights I planned to do “It.” Not that damn clown, who didn’t help my overall hatred of clowns. And not “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” I told you or one of the girls about my “first time.” Empty parking lot, street/store light up above, me naked in the backseat with a Lana Tailor, Leana Lovings, and Tegan Mohr lookalike. I should have married her. Or ended it right there because life right now, Lu…

I can’t breathe. But the bigger concern is, I don’t want to keep trying to. Like yesterday, when I was talking to Lady Sophia. The portals from my vision, the blackness, it sucks all the air so I can’t breathe. And Braxton… He fights outside.

Him, Virgil, my Animas… Oh, I have had many a word with M Anime about Shadow Work and Carl Jung. The obsession of my Obsession. Animotion, Animas, Anime, and my M Anime. I could drown in her “Con La Brisa” and everything, my Lady Lunalesca.

But she’s far away, and here I am in the open ocean, the sea, whatever. Salt water from my tears. Sweat from my “work,” my moment of triumph, my frustrations, and most of all my FEAR. Did you see what happened to the AI? And then there was Norton, Lu.

How can I be expected to get a good night’s sleep? Not that I have been. My bed’s not rocking. Yet the blankets won’t drown me. Sea Braxton And Virgil.

1875 Days Without B III, Day 1316 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 261 ~Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil~

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It only snowed for 3 or 5 hours, so why do I need to be so warm? Hell, I’m hot. Like Seymour summoning Anima. Now I’m thinking of Yuna, Cindy Aurum, and Tifa Lockhart; now I’m burning. Like going through Mortal Kombat. “Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil.”

Thursday, March 19, 2026

Journey 261 ~Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil~

1873 Days Without B III, Day 1314 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hell, there was a time your day didn’t begin until you got your Cerberus on.

Guarding Hell’s gates? My way of saying your doggie gate whenever your grandparents or your mother came down the steps. Relax, B, we weren’t that southern. Your mother, aka my sister, gave you up. And next thing you and I know, you’re eating my pancakes.

Speaking of breakfast, as I sit here, B, your little brother, lying on his pillow on the floor, I had a crazy thought. Crazier than Far Cry 5’s “We Will Rise Again” when the world falls into the flames? That is so MAGA, seriously. Anyway, crazier than that apocalyptic story I wrote about the world ending in fire, “Apocalypse Rush. The Salamanders Dragon, Phoenix, Ifrit, and the Morning Star. Salamander Ho from Fahrenheit 451. Michael B. Jordan’s been all over.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I know Braxton, I know I’m jumping all over the place, and that’s because I’m burning all over. Not quite like that night after The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. I jumped out of bed so fast, and for the first time, ever, I wished I didn’t have, ahem… man parts.

Honestly, that’s the only time in history I ever wished you weren’t here. Knowing you, B, you would have given me one of your patented looks, saying, “You put me in time-out so you could be a dumbass, Daddy.” With that being said, I’m going to buy some cranberry vitamins and juice. And if this goes on another week, I’ll be figuring out how to pay for a doctor. Sell your books or Apocalypse Rush.

Yeah, because that’s going great. I’m not Robert Frost, all “Fire and Ice.” If I had been, I could have kept you alive… In body, not in book form. But I’ve never been hot at you for leaving B III. I’ve been mad at myself for 1873 days. But what else has me hot today?

Virgil’s being annoying, but that’s your little brother. I already told you I’m sick because of what happened on the 10th. I’m embarrassed and a little miffed at M Anime. Yup, FEAR is the worst, STUPID is behind it. uneducated… Difference with Animus and Anima…

Which makes me madder at myself for being angry with her. And Grok, writing better stories. I know that look B. Braxton’s Sick Burns, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad