Tag: Time

Tale 334 ~Buzzing B Because Virgil…~

WillLeave a comment

Summertime and the bugs are out. Please! Between watching Helldivers II because, uh… what money? V catching something and getting Down With The Sickness. Reading, “Meditations.” And my technical prowess. It’s all bugging me. Buzzing B Because Virgil…

Thursday, May 30, 2024

Tale 334 ~Buzzing B Because Virgil…~

1215 Days Without B III, Day 656 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know how I am; I need a nap as soon as I get back.

And it’s only 9:30 AM. I swear, Braxton, the last few days have been like a constant irritation, a persistent annoyance, and a never-ending disturbance all at once. It’s been like a bee sting, a mosquito bite, and a butterfly flapping all at once. Am I being a tad overdramatic? Me! Sigh! I just can’t seem to catch a break.

Braxton, I’m trying not to complain. And if I told you the truth. All the things that are bothering me… Well, I’m trying not to reach for the buzzer to paradise. How about Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door? Gotta Knock a Little Harder. Me or Virgil? I don’t know anymore. But if anything, this is far from a land of milk and honey. Whatever V’s hacking.

I’ve been quite the busy bee cleaning up after him. What about my messes? Everything!

I think of you in the rare moments of peace when there’s a brief quiet between Virgil’s crying and coughing. Your words, sometimes comforting, sometimes biting, echo in my head. Am I blaming you for my reading Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations? Some of it is noise, and some is nothing, Ha-Ha. And then there’s what I need to hear. I’ve copied far too many quotes, Braxton.

Death by a thousand cuts. Or bites, whatever. Speaking of which, I should go and live outside right now. With Virgil being the way he is, your granddad, too. Are you out there, Little Braxton?

At least I wouldn’t be breaking anything else. And you know how I feel about being on my knees… Well, no! The only girl here you liked was your honorary aunt. She wouldn’t have minded. Looking at her, Cherry, M Anime, for a stepmom, Braxton…

Some girl that would rock me like a hurricane. A girl that is a hurricane. A Bullet With Butterfly Wings… I’m sorry for all the musical references. But again, Braxton, there’s so much noise. I thought I said I couldn’t hear you, and then you sent me such a title.

Yesterday, while at the Day Job, I was thinking about the worst sounds in existence. There’s the last breath you took. There’s every breath I take. It’s breathing, in general. Pretty much Then laughter. Let’s not forget making myself moan. But butterflies flapping their wings… Somewhere, one flapped, and Virgil caught a bug. I’m flipping through book pages. And what the Hell is that smell! It all bugs me. Without you… Buzzing B Because Virgil…

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 333 ~Braxton’s Crime Stopper Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“I will protect you. Even if it means I must protect you from yourself.” B III lived that. And 2V? I can’t buy grand memorials for B when V needs stuff. Kept my naked butt off OnlyFans. And from doing dumb stuff. “Braxton’s Crime Stopper Virgil”

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Tale 333 ~Braxton’s Crime Stopper Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. But I was telling you all about this a week ago. Duh. Today is Wednesday, May 22, 2024.

So I’m not being lazy? I’ve had a lot of time off from the Day Job, and Virgil needs things.

A new potty spot since he must still smell Braxton on the old one. Of all the things that I’ve protected. Memories of my firstborn fur buddy. Where Braxton decided to “go” isn’t one of them. And what about a set of stairs? You know, for whenever he wants to get on the bed? I’m still unsure what’s going on in Virgil’s little brain. But he jumps off the bed whenever I’m about to sleep.

A man provides, right? Not a father. Even with his passing, I’ll keep that title for Braxton. He’s my son. Always. And I should be buying him stuff, too. Where’s the time and money going?

Not into my poetry book, GULP. And I still need to look at the two novels I wrote for Braxton. But I am trying to stick to a schedule with everything that’s been going on.

I wonder. What does DISH Network have on me? Um, Artificial Intelligence? The whole Internet?

If it isn’t novels… For now, I’m reading Backyard Dungeon 10. I’ve been hanging on OF. OnlyFans? Fortunately, I’m not spending any money. And as far as making it, Inspector.

Well, V is making that problematic with his running around. I mean only this afternoon, sigh. I was in the shower. But with Virgil crying in Braxton’s Room. Then, his unannounced visits. Like why now?

Inspector, you know how they ask if it’s weird that passed relatives might see you…

Uh… it’s hard for me. I remember… When Braxton first left, I was abstinent for 161 days, ha-ha. It was much longer than that when he was alive. But let’s trade one head for another.

Again, when we spoke earlier today, I told you about the violent knocking and me grabbing my weapon. And for most of Tuesday evening, I had it out. For protection?

Inspector, sorry to say I wasn’t thinking about survival. I wanted to join my Braxton.

Once again, there was Virgil. You must live for more. But having someone to protect…

He’s stopping me from “worshipping” one who is gone. He’s keeping my hand out of my pants. And away from harm. Braxton’s reasons for sending Virgil. Braxton’s Crime Stopper Virgil

1214 Days Without B III, Day 655 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 332 ~ They’ll B Things, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Tell me that I could have Braxton back, and what thing would I give up. The phone, my por… my relationship collection. How about having an Enormous… uh. Well, I’m sure the Future Wife would miss that. But They’ll B Things, Virgil

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Tale 332 ~ They’ll B Things, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… I love you. Much like “I am happy.” Such words do not come cheap or…

At all. When was the last time I told Braxton I love him? I’ve been more inclined to talk about time travel. Today’s Tuesday, May 21, 2024. By now, it’s been 1213 days without him.

And how many days since there’s been no word about him? I’m sure I screwed up somewhere down the line. It’s why his bed, toys, bowls, medicine, and comfy spots remain. My son’s things. I’m still mad about the very floor he once walked. Flooded. I wore glasses that finally gave up the ghost and broke. So now it’s like I have to see things as brand new. Even the DISH Network service he watched is gone. Yet another humiliation.

Watching wrestling and “other” things. The secrets I’ve tried keeping.

Not that I miss Braxton. Or that Virgil and I haven’t bonded in 654 days. How about the fact that our marriage, my love…? You and me, always and forever. Nothing changes that. How about the fact that I miss my Braxton so much? It makes me want you more.

It’s Physical Touch, Touch Starvation, Touch Deprivation, or my favorite, “Skin Hunger.” But I’ve said, “Everybody know I’m a… monster.” Zombie from S. Wolf’s novel.

And I believe I’ve had a revelation, my love. You know the things I want to do to you, baby girl. “I Want’a Do Something Freaky To You.” That is a secret kept from Braxton.

I once heard that when you want knowledge, money, success, or whatever, as badly as you want air. It is then that you’ll have it.

Only I can’t imagine wanting anything more than my son back. And to lose everything that I have seen my son tirelessly defend. The fence, the house, all of my little Braxton’s things, my love.

It’s why I deny myself. Everything, old and new, borrowed and blue. Haven’t I been saying I don’t feel like much of a man lately? But I’m your man. Again, always and forever. My love.

But the present is the thing. Love is a gift. A thought of caring like, Happy Birthday Cherry! The things I wanted from her. What I want from you, love. And V. To be happy.

We get that ourselves. The thing is, my Braxton’s still gone. They’ll B Things, Virgil.

1213 Days Without B III, Day 654 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 331 ~Harder To Breathe Up Top~

WillLeave a comment

Will you breathe? Will, breathe. More like, “Daddy, breathe.” Because when my furry little boy died, I didn’t plan on it. But I’ve managed for 1212 days. There are always more books to read. Or babes to look at. But to exist? Harder To Breathe Up Top

Monday, May 27, 2024

Tale 331 ~Harder To Breathe Up Top~

Three-Hundredth And Forty-Fifth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… Some people cancel them outright. Some are forgotten about. And still, some will evolve into, well, anything.

It makes my head hurt, along with the time travel. I’m speaking to you on Tuesday, May 21, 2024. However, when this rule was written out, I traced it back to 2018. I mean, wow!

I figured I’d be in another place entirely. Braxton would be twenty next year. And that’s when I expected to lose him. That is if he didn’t lose me by smothering me with his fur.

So what’s making my head hurt now? Why am I breathing when I don’t really want to, Madam? Let’s start by raising my head in the morning. The first breath that enters my lungs. It’s either my Braxton’s name that comes out. Or expletives from my mourning or moaning. Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This.

I’m glad I covered the mirror in the bedroom. But there is the black mirror, AKA the phone, on the table beside me. I hold my breath, looking at the beauty of others. My mind.

Inevitably, I will find other ways not to breathe and instead sound like the zombie I imagine I am. The moans of newly found flesh.

Did I really just say that? And what’s worse is the look on my face when I say or do such things. Taking OnlyFans pictures.

But I could be so exhausted that whatever… risqué book I’m reading falls and hits me in the face. How many times has that happened?

And yet I live. My head stays intact. Breathing away and denying my fondest wish.

What? To follow Braxton wherever he went. The Rainbow Bridge? I am Braxton’s father, but if I had been even more of a man… Would he have lived? I keep asking myself that, Madam. I wanted to be a man of money, merit, and miracles. I would build our Heaven.

There would be no air because we would have everything, and no one could touch my son or me. And yet he found it. I suppose. My B III is sitting in his bed on the vet’s table, not breathing. As for me? When was the last time the “bigger head” has been up? Uhh…

There’s plenty of air as I fall Down To Earth. Nobody but Virgil and I. Harder To Breathe Up Top

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1212 Days Without B III, Day 653 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 330 ~To B Revealed, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I wanted something to be revealed that would shock me, to make me gasp and/or moan. I’d go begging the Lady in Red or chicks on OnlyFans. Yabbos always feel like the first time. But I’m revealing me. I’m not complaining. To B Revealed, Virgil

Sunday, May 26, 2024

Tale 330 ~To B Revealed, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And can I say you’re looking good… Like Six Impossible Things, I promise nothing. But no complaining.

Braxton is still gone. Now, that’s not a complaint but simply a fact. It is no insult to say that a dead fur buddy is dead. Reality shouldn’t be a shocking revelation that makes one clutch their pearls. The gasp, shock, and offense. Like people in politics. The orange man?

But you know what they’re all about. The same goes for professional wrestling. You’re alright as long as you can name who won what match. Like you need any surprises.

Like caring about what is going on in Virgil’s head. You and Braxton were simpatico. Virgil has been here 652 Days, and you still know nothing about him. That’s reality. Braxton only ignored his reality when it came to dying. Like your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 10, Or Something
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 021 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Talk about reality and be revealing about number 4 on this list. That’s what worries you. This is not a complaint; it is simply an observation. But is anyone else?

Now, you’re not Inspector Echo, but here’s a confession. Braxton gave a joy and a comfort that no woman has. You have more of an “adult” library than anyone. But you didn’t need a woman to confide in, to console you. And as long as you had enough private time to “cock your weapon.” Finding Braxton, a stepmom, could wait. Really, it couldn’t. B’s gone.

And that’s why you’re here or on OnlyFans showing off the goods, because of that “intimacy.” Peace and warmth have been lost with Braxton’s passing. What’s left? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, OR…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 021, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Virgil doesn’t bring any of that relief. How long did it take to learn about Braxton? Instead, Virgil reveals who you are. He cries at Braxton’s door. Virgil knows he can leave whenever he wants, but he’s trapped. Like you…

And if it isn’t the memory of B III, it’s your bank account. I keep saying it’s only the facts. You know something’s wrong, having your grocery list start with bread and water. Really! And that’s a big deal. Sigh!

There’s also the house and everything in it. You won’t make a list of that. But you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. At this rate, you might go through the floor. The End?

It’s no secret where you’re going. To B Revealed, Virgil

1211 Days Without B III, Day 652 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 329 ~Virgil, They’ll B Complaints~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not one for swearing… Uh, bullies, the bedroom, and that boy in the mirror. No! That’s what I call complaining. And there are so many things today. And without Braxton. I turned the “bucket” over. But they’ll return. Virgil, They’ll B Complaints.

Saturday, May 25, 2024

Tale 329 ~Virgil, They’ll B Complaints~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Which means I shouldn’t have a single thing to complain about. But until that is so…

What? I’ll become a great writer and then orator for my audiobooks. I could make thousands on OnlyFans. Yes, Lady Lunalesca, I got a chuckle from that, too. I can’t keep a straight face… Excuse me! Yes, I can keep a “Straight” face. And what about my O-face, my lady? Your visage alone has got more than one from me. But how many times did I think about “stuff and thangs” this morning? Oh, too, complain about so much beauty…

“Oh, woe is me!” That’s my usual, and it’s a heavy burden that centers around my son Braxton. Who do I turn to about my B III’s passing? The Day Job and the Man In The Mirror. No! I find myself pouring out my heart to everyone, unable to contain the weight of my grief.

And it must get annoying. Not that I care, Lunalesca.

Please! You’re not Inspector Echo, but the secret is this. It matters a lot. This explains why I’m trying to get back into the world… I suppose. Well, as much as book reviews and OnlyFans will allow. Of course, I grow bolder when I haven’t been… “Taking care of business,” per se. And that makes everything so much worse. But sigh, not today, Lady Lunalesca.

Or that’s what I told myself anyway. And for the record, there’s nothing extraordinary about today, Lu. I should go shopping, but there’s “WWE King and Queen of the Ring.”

It’s so hard, Lady Lu, but didn’t I say to “someone” that this is the reason I have bad teeth?

A lesson in keeping my mouth shut. I need to.

“The mouth is the front gate of all misfortune.” I read that in “The Gargoyle.” And speaking of books, I need something new. As a matter of fact, I need to get back into the habit of lying on the loveseat and reading. Braxton and his honorary aunt, Lady Luna.

That was my therapy. And I can’t complain about those days. Those were good times.

But even if I were to start complaining right this second, what would be the point, Lady Lunalesca? It’s like listening to some politician. But Steve from Blue’s Clues makes everyone feel “we gon’ be alright.” Complaints should go with my cries and my useless excuses. Yet I sent Braxton to the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil lives. Virgil, They’ll B Complaints

1210 Days Without B III, Day 651 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 327 ~Virgil Will B Back~

WillLeave a comment

Will my Dad get back to me? I’m sure my son asked that, as I never left his side until he got sent to Heaven. Hell! If I wanted to join B, I could talk to my father. But, I won’t see paradise. I’m a sinner, a machine, or a zombie. Virgil Will B Back.

Thursday, May 23, 2024

Tale 327 ~Virgil Will B Back~

1208 Days Without B III, Day 649 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m coming to you on Friday, May 17, 2024. But that’s not entirely accurate. Right?

1208 Days have passed since you left. I’ll say the same of 1202. Even on day 1, the silence has become more profound, turning our world into ‘A Quiet Place.’ Am I still making too much noise about things that don’t matter, Braxton? Our “lives.”

Like father, like son. You kept me safe from what goes bump in the night. Only the FEAR always comes back. Is that why you wanted to be so scary? I was only scared of you when it came to you wearing clothes. Yes, like father, like son. And don’t ask me why I’m speaking to you so late in the day. I’m sure Heaven, The Rainbow Bridge, or whatever is full of toys and pretty good girls. Ha-Ha! There’s nothing to be afraid of there, B III. I hope.

But this is your Home. It still pains me to utter that word. Home? Of all the things I’ve gotten wrong. Braxton, “I’m sorry I didn’t do none of it right.” But bringing you back here? Well, I did, in a way. I haven’t opened your box, tomb. Uh, casket? Since the day I got it back. I’m too terrified of losing what’s left of you. And what’s left of me, B? Your Old Man.

FEAR of my Old Man.

It shouldn’t matter, Braxton. None of this is my fault. I’m not barking my head off about any of this. Well, except with you. I yearn to feel the indifference again, Braxton. How dare I?

But I can feel it again: FEAR, FURY, and FORGETFULNESS.

That I am a man? Like I’ve ever been? Like when you would play with your toys. Or with your Aunt’s… Yabbos. I’m all too familiar with my man parts, but being your Dad is what made me a man… of sorts. And I wish whoever that was would come back. But I mistook V for you. And whoever I’m looking at in the mirror. B’s Dad isn’t coming back.

Joe Stevens was a cog in the machine. Number 14 was a performer. Clarence became a corpse. And Bingham Madsen was a sell-out. At least he had money—his comeback.

Only, I’m no leader. I’m not much of an OnlyFans “performer.” How about writing? ” I’m not Jesus or rich. Still, Virgil Will B Back.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 326 ~Virgil Does Dishes, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

As long as Braxton’s food and water bowls are clean. 2V isn’t doing too bad. And soon, he’ll have even more space to run around when I send DISH Network all their stuff back. And if I were a famous writer or star on OF… “Virgil Does Dishes, Braxton.”

Wednesday, May 22, 2024

Tale 326 ~Virgil Does Dishes, Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned. Braxton is gone. The house needs to be fixed. In the backyard, the fence is falling down, etc.

If I can survive B’s passing, I can survive anything. That’s my constant thought, Inspector.

DISH Network has nothing on the euthanasia of my furry son. Still, when you grow to know, rely, and expect something. Even when it’s crappy TV. And the Old Man told me he had to go off on them. But still, I hate myself for being the drama of everything.

That’s my problem, Inspector. I look at inconveniencing the Old Man as I look at depriving my son of his life. And at the end of the day, everything is always my fault. I know.

So, long story short… The Old Man isn’t paying a $189.00 bill. I’ll be watching wrestling a day late. And I’ll have to stream AMC.

But the most humiliating part is this: DISH looked up the records of all I’ve been watching. So, I was wasting money by not watching enough. And then the things that I did—uh, Eww!

The secrets that I try to keep Inspector. And then there are the secrets I don’t have to spit out. Yet… Spitters Are Quitters. Inspector, I’ve said I am a “Pop Culture So And So.”

Already, I’ve been catching up on so much wrestling that the Algorithm is coming after me with a vengeance. Better artificial intelligence than all the girls I’ve done wrong, ok.

There’s M Anime and Cherry. I was busy catching up with them, Inspector Echo. So? Don’t worry. Though I haven’t kept “it” in my pants. It’s only been on OnlyFans. Like Norah Jones sings, Don’t Know Why I didn’t… um

Maybe because I didn’t have my “toys.” Before B III rested on the nightstand in 2021. Before, I had to get a weapon during COVID. You know what I was doing on the daily. Ha!

Yesterday, though, there was a violent knock at the door, and I had to go into the nightstand drawer and grab my weapon. Didn’t a man lose his life a few weeks ago doing the same thing? Senior Airman Roger Fortson? I snatched my gun and went to the door.

Well, I’m alive, Inspector. But I thought about this mess of existence. I’m still alive.

Existing is messy. But Virgil’s eating. Virgil Does Dishes, Braxton

1207 Days Without B III, Day 648 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 325 ~Virgil Can B Choosy~

WillLeave a comment

Do I have a choice? Yes. It’s why I look in the mirror, not the nightstand drawer. What? The world’s dangerous, and there’s Heaven, Hell, or the Rainbow Bridge, which I believe my Braxton found. But it wasn’t his choice. Virgil Can B Choosy

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Tale 325 ~Virgil Can B Choosy~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… A choice? Sure. One that can’t be undone. Our children. My son, Braxton. Even Virgil.

The things that come into my world. But I didn’t choose the world. It’s been a hard few days living in it. And yes, if my B were still here, the past 1206 days would have been no question. Now, that is a lie. But like the promise I made to you. Always and forever.

Whenever I walked out the door, there were three phrases, three words each. “I’ll be back,” “Love ya, B,” and “Love ya Braxton.” No matter what happened, I love Braxton.

That was enough to survive, whatever. And then you ask, what about you? The kids? It’s my choice to come back to my family. I choose you, lover, every day. But it’s a hard choice. I know I sound selfish.

It’s like looking in a mirror. When I see myself even after all this time. I want to do my best Johnny Cash impression. “I hurt myself today.” If I could see myself like Braxton.

Pure love. I’ve told the story time and time again of when my Olds were moving, and Braxton was standing there. “Get in the car!” I yelled. Braxton did not hesitate. He made his choice. B III didn’t know where it would lead, but that choice to love was enough.

Virgil didn’t get that choice. And you, my love, didn’t choose to love, whatever it is I have become. A man of constant sorrow. Because even the choice of me getting up seems too much.

I wake up feeling robbed.

Braxton wasn’t stolen. If I blame anyone for his passing, it’s a former Day Job and my indifference. And that’s why “I Feel Everything.” Grief and sorrow seem the safest.

There was a time when I existed as “lust’s passion will be served…” As if that’s changed with all I do. I’m still in business, after all. The books, babes, and bucks. I want it all. Braxton, though, will not be a part of that. And now choosing to be here. Right here, this moment.

“It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” A thousand choices shout praises! But make one.

Loving you? I will. Doing right by family. Yes. Existing without my boy? I’m here!

Choose to be happy? Staying enough? Virgil Can B Choosy

1206 Days Without B III, Day 647 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 324 ~Blogging Is Graffiti With Punctuation~

WillLeave a comment

I ask for my Braxton back. I ask not to regret breathing. And to not be a blogger. But I sit in bed messing up the words because I have a Day Job. So, I’m blogging instead of writing. I promised B, but… Blogging Is Graffiti With Punctuation

Monday, May 20, 2024

Tale 324 ~Blogging Is Graffiti With Punctuation~

Three-Hundredth And Forty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… But not this one. Well, not unless I’m not here anymore. And how I HOPE for that.

Another week feels like an eternity. It’s Sunday, May 12, 2024. Another tear? Another breath.

Have I forgotten where I am and what I’m doing? If this is the First Circle, Limbo. Then, I could see no better punishment for a writer. If only that were my greatest sin, Madam.

Nowadays, I drift between what I did to my son, Braxton. Then there’s my father. Blogging away about those two extremes when it is still Mother’s Day. I know, Madam.

But if I stopped writing, I would honor women, specifically my mother. Honoring my father would mean keeping my mouth shut, but I couldn’t. So I’m stupid. And to honor my son, I would join him. Only he has a story. People should read it.

And so every day, whether I want to or not, I wake up, whittle away time, and write. It’s more like I cry out for him, Braxton, B III! I argue about balls. And then I blog away. This is my way of keeping him alive. Or, so I thought.

So, how long have I been doing that? How long has this blog existed? Oh! Please understand, Madam. I’m not begging anyone to look at this “work” anymore. I don’t. Only these words in Sister Act 2 have stuck with me: “If when you wake up in the morning. you can think of nothing but writing…then you’re a writer.” Now, when I wake up, there’s Braxton first. Then, the question of why I’m breathing. And then there’s this blog. Daring to call myself a writer…

That’s like calling myself a reviewer. This leads me to where this rule came from. It’s from the movie Contagion. “Blogging is not writing. It’s graffiti with punctuation.” But my writing is simply a mess. The Mess! Madam Justice, I’ll get into all sorts of movies at this rate. But I’m not here for that. And since I won’t edit my novels for Braxton, Madam.

What is it I’m doing? Right now, I’m hoping the DISH Network people come through so I won’t have to keep writing about being a fool and my father. Forgive me for my whining, dear Madam. Yet my words have done far worse, haven’t they? Up against the wall, on Mother’s Day. I’m not writing. Blogging Is Graffiti With Punctuation.

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1205 Days Without B III, Day 646 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will