Tag: I Love Braxton

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

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I’m full of IT. But what IT is changes daily. This morning, IT was the spirit of FEAR. And while I am not a religious person, I remember singing God has not given us the spirit of fear. But my Little God died with an empty belly. Bury B, Belly V

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Open your eyes. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is strength. Deceiving, Dangerous, and disgusting words. So what’s worse?

You… You’re sorry to start the new week off so harshly. But with the way last week went, and here you are today. THEY say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Right?

But not you. No! You look to what you have already survived, and upon seeing this, you float along. But it doesn’t stop your stomach from dropping. The horror, the horror, my friend. And there are much better books than “Heart of Darkness.” Are you going to compare Joseph Conrad to Eric Vall? Really!? For the last few days, it’s been all FEAR. Too Much!

It feels like you jinxed yourself. Starting on the 15th, things were supposed to get better. Somehow, someway. But looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Doesn’t it make you sick? You’re sick, but not because of these things. It’s the more you know. And last week, that consisted of three things. Comedy comes in threes, so THEY say. And none of those had you rushing off to the bathroom. And today’s energy shot isn’t helping things. But what did you know? You’re wasting the week. Why? Because you’re alive, and B is gone. You’re not blaming him. Your son stopped eating. And you… Well, you can’t keep anything good down. Food in your belly, 2-V off the bed, etc., etc.

Only the bad things… The monster in your pants, dirty words in search bars. Keywords.

The dead rising isn’t good. Especially when you don’t look a thing like Jesus. Could he accomplish Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think he had greater concerns than yours. But what if he had a dog? Jesus had twelve dudes and a Naughty Girl. Are you listening to Beyoncé? Anything beats the beeps and boops, your bare feet hitting the floor, or busting on Cherry’s Yabbos. And M Anime got the outfit you sent her Yesterday. And now it’s The Beatles. What is wrong with you?

You’re not you when you’re hungry. But what about when you’re scared like you are. Fear comes in flavors, and none of them are good. And I understand I ain’t helping. I’d tell you to eat something, drink your water, and down a painkiller. Still, you wonder why… Braxton, Virgil, you? Bury B, Belly V

1484 Days Without B III, Day 925 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

WillLeave a comment

Since M Anime isn’t mad at me, I can share one of my dreams with her. What every woman needs, snow, a survival kit, and lingerie I want to see her in. And with that heat, dirty tales, and humiliation. I should go. Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush.

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I live in California, Florida, or somewhere tropical. Hot! Anywhere, “adult entertainment” is plentiful.

Lofty dreams for a Southern man. But do you see how easy it is to have a vision, a dream, Lady Lunalesca? To have a goal or make a plan… I have… I had plenty for this year of my existence. You know, the year I expected to lose my Braxton. He would’ve been twenty.

And while there were tears for him last night. Finally! I was more or less crying for other things. FEAR! And it’s not of this moment of sitting here waiting for somebody to post on X so I can send videos of checks my notes Reina Kurashiki. How about asking why I can’t be Johnny Sins? I weep not only for the future but mine. How do I move forward?

I had a dream last night. I was crying from embarrassment, a feeling that has become all too familiar. In the dream, I found myself in the movie Vivarium, a place of confinement and repetition. It’s a mock universe. But in my version, I was digging upwards, desperate for escape.

Flinging my shovel in the open air, I found dirt. But I could only reach so far without the ability to fly. You know how people talk about the hill they’ll die on. Well, Lunalesca…

I started packing a hill under my feet. But it wasn’t with grave dirt. My son Braxton’s ashes provided the foundation. Then came the ashes from my books. Grossest words…

Yes, I was crying about that being broadcast on X/Twitter. It’s my fault. Forgive me! But in my dream, I was not just crying about the exposure. I was also burning my secrets, the things I’ve kept hidden and buried. The act of burning them was both liberating and terrifying, as it unlocked a new fear within me. Thanks, Norton!

But the heart of the matter is this: I was creating a Hell to carry me to Heaven. It’s a paradox, a contradiction that reflects the madness of my current state. I’m trying to find a way out of my pain, but in doing so, I’m only creating more suffering.

And while I am not a man of faith, I heard an angel’s words. “He is not here, for he has risen.” And instead of the Lips Of An Angel, I heard the song I’ve Got Heaven Right Here On Earth. And don’t I, Lady Lunalesca? I’m cold, a coward; what about a cuck… Right.

No wonder I dreamt about fire. And with that, I cried all the more. The fire remained ash and snow. Black and white… V? But B was beside him, and I ordered them both… Mush!

Where am I going? I don’t know. I’m always afraid. But… Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush!

1483 Days Without B III, Day 924 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

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When I was a child… (at 40, I still am). Reading in school (WHAT I WANTED) was all about survival. Reading what I was supposed to or, worse, listening to people… My four-legged sons have better things to say. Comforting. “Braxton’s Good News, Virgil”

Friday, February 21, 2025

Meditation 235 ~Braxton’s Good News, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… About my eye exam… Well, that’s not until next week. Let’s not think about next week.

Hell! Not if you want me to stay in a positive mood. And 3… 2… 1… Let’s Jam. B III? Braxton knows all about the good news, seeing as he’s in Heaven. The Rainbow Bridge?

The Hell if I know my lady. But it’s a good place. While Virgil is sitting on the bed looking like a Mormon or Martin from the film Vivarium. Black and white, my little boy.

Braxton and Virgil are both my sons. I can write that down as often as I want, my lady. But to understand it, believe it, and even better to know it. Knowledge is stronger than belief… That’s in The Book of Clarence. Don’t read the reviews from most. It’s good.

We’re basking in the joy of reading good news today…

Well, yesterday, anyway. THEY deposited the tax refund to the bank account. A $1,000 laugh! But still, it’s exhilarating to read about a large deposit, Sophia. Eww! This should tell you everything you need to know about my Day Job. And what comes next to cash? I’m talking about Yabbos.

Mammaries? Whether it be reading Satan’s Sorority Girls 9. And Grayson having his way with Agatha? Aren’t I supposed to be reading something about dogs or on Black History, my lady? We’ll get to that. But I haven’t cried for Braxton today. And current affairs…

Honestly, there was whatever was in my search bar. Something about Maisie Williams in the movie The Falling. And speaking of English women. What was I writing about Cherry, hmm?

I’ve been working on the novel Nightmare At The Meat Market. And I’ve gotten so caught up with AI reviewing it. I’d let humans read it, but… A prison sentence…

Figuratively and literally. Anyway, as I plot to blow my newfound wealth. I will be buying more books on people burying their fur babies. “But not yet… Not yet!” And all I need to do to read about the struggle of Black people is turn on… Anything. Trump Administration! I want to learn, and I’m determined to do so, even when I’m lost in a rage or drowning in sadness.

Like reading a bill saying I owe so much. Grocery lists. Scammers and hackers galore! Sophia, I understand why MAGA hates reading. Being criminals themselves. But, Braxton’s Good News, Virgil

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
The Fountainhead
Ayn Rand

1482 Days Without B III, Day 923 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 234 ~We’ll B Safe, Virgil~

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Braxton left me Safe and Sound… somewhat. My son saw me through the first Trump Presidency. And by the looks of things Virgil may become my “Dogmeat” leading me through the wasteland/commonwealth. But first, today. We’ll B Safe, Virgil

Thursday, February 20, 2025

Meditation 234 ~We’ll B Safe, Virgil~

1481 Days Without B III, Day 922 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What about a Lovely Day where Everything Is Awesome, without any Dumb Ways to Die?

Old age… Getting older wasn’t SAFE, Braxton. I wish I had told you that before.

“Immortality, take it, it’s yours!”

Immortal, that’s what you are. Well, according to me. It’s what you were supposed to be, Baby B. Did you even understand what was happening when your time came, Braxton?

All you wanted me to do was stop crying, which I am now. Because of you and what today’s about. What, am I giving life lessons now? Don’t people have visions and dreams? Dreams… When they’re hungry? I’m fasting, but not on purpose, so I must go out today. Sigh.

Before it’s not SAFE… There it is, Braxton. I don’t feel SAFE. I haven’t felt SAFE for the longest time, but yesterday pointed it out to me. The effing Wi-Fi!

What about the effing floor, sink, back porch, phone, bank account… Don’t Stop Me Now. Maybe if I go crazy, I’ll gain the courage to do something about it; that ain’t safe. I wouldn’t be joining you then if I went to Hell. For all I know, you’ve usurped Cerberus.

You protected me, Braxton. You kept me safe. And what about your little brother Virgil?

Again, the fact that he’s here means I’m still breathing; I’m Alive. Virgil is a miracle, I know, Braxton. Didn’t you ask me to acknowledge him? And yet, that’s one more reason I’m losing myself to the music today. Your music. Braxton’s Infinite Playlist. Awesome!

Because the world isn’t awesome, I don’t feel safe anymore. Rockwell said Somebody’s Watching Me. It’s like you’re still here, Braxton, watching over me. Right?

How many musical references is that? Eight? It’s confusing, Braxton. I don’t want to hear the phone alerting me to losing more money. Or that the battery’s dying. Wi-Fi… I don’t want to listen to the house crumbling all around me. Your home… Virgil’s running.

At the same time, I want the silence of sleep. The way my breath catches when I’m doing things, I hope you’re not watching from… Wherever you are. If I have food and water, I’m not talking to myself. But the truth is B, I don’t feel in charge. And V doesn’t feel SAFE. And he’s a reflection of me. If only I had a SAFE filled with cash… If only I wrote a book.
Finished? We’ll B Safe, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What pray tell is my greatest fear? The fear of losing my son. Been there, done that. I don’t fear death. Drowning… Far Cry 5, Heavy Rain, and being In The Navy were harrowing. But as of 6 AM, it’s the Wi-Fi and a redhead. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Meditation 233 ~What’s Christof’s BS Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Well, according to Google, experiencing FEAR is not a sin. But living… uh, existing as I do is.

I wish I could be as diabolical as Christof is in “The Truman Show.” I want to have as much grit as Tom in “Vivarium.” And who doesn’t want to be Hajime Tanaka from Saimin Seishidou? What? There are no secrets in the House of Bradford. Well, what I do when I take a shower? Or when I have to kick Braxton and Virgil out of the room. Man stuff.

Yes, I am one for por… romances of an adult nature. I am also a Pop Culture so-and-so Inspector Echo. But worst is how I panic, pout, and pretend to be a gentleman… I’m pathetic.

I’m more like a professor, philosopher, and poet… No, I gave that honor to Virgil. And to honor my Braxton…

Again, I exist in FEAR of everything. And that FEAR today was for the Wi-Fi. I did not call upon the courage of my lost son. But that of Christof. Shows what I do Internet-wise.

So, this morning, I was hit by two fears. One, that I had been hacked. And two, living without purpose. When dealing with the first, I switched routers. Can you imagine if I were a father to two-legged kids rather than four-legged ones? All Virgil knows is I was up early. FEAR plus Adrenaline and an energy shot. Next thing you know, I’m at the Dining Room table having this talk instead of in bed. Having a harem again means…

Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to calm down Inspector.

I finished reading Dirk Knight’s “Harem University Book 4,” But that was after I dealt with my second FEAR, FOMO, as the kids say, “fear of missing out.” Yeah, those kids are ages 22-24. Anyway, that’s the reason I was cutting out scenes from Saimin Seishidou’s Episode 5. So everyone could watch Natsumi Obata get “Hypnotized.” I’m a mother-effing PIMP.

Literally… Eww! What about being a writer? Do I still FEAR that I’ll never make it or that no one cares? Uh, I get more attention for a redhead’s anime, Yabbos. But am I smart? Inspector, I’ve been sharing parts of Nightmare At The Meat Market with AI. Talk about breaking down my genius… But FEAR is breaking me down. Overflowing. What’s Christof’s BS Virgil

1480 Days Without B III, Day 921 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

WillLeave a comment

My biggest fear… Nope! I lost my son. But I fear drowning, too. With so many tears and how much rage? And with desires raining like humiliations galore. Uh, working? But fear. At least the house’s not flooding… Again. Rooms B Through V

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if only that love were as easy as saying, “Braxton, Virgil, and others, Bedtime!”

D.L. Hughley once warned that the kids would walk in on us. You realize that. It was something to that effect. And did I think of our two-legged children before Braxton or Virgil? If only you knew how I protected B III and 2-V. But today, “What About Us,” love.

No, that’s not the song I heard you singing around 2 AM this morning. And I won’t attribute this to my son. My love, this is all you. It was Lykke Li’s “I Follow Rivers.”

The song has been stuck in my head all morning, and I’m trying to figure out where I heard it. Besides your lovely voice, it was also in an episode of Glee I watched before.

But you? In my head?

“‘Tis you floating around my head, my Godqueen.”
― Clarence, The Book of Clarence (2024)

Do you consider that a miracle? Now, if you could only listen, hear, and understand. Dreams have meanings. I’m always saying that to M Anime. So what about that song? For a few days now, I have been cried out over Braxton. To go from his birthday on the 13th to a “Lovely Day” on the 14th. Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain. Right? It’s going from the day I first found love to honoring our passion for each other, my baby doll.

However, the problem remains that my heart is still broken. Again, there’s the song “I Follow Rivers.” You follow my tears, sweat, and blood down.

Down, down, down, into places you should not see. Do those places include where the Bisquick comes from and gave us our other kids? How many bedrooms do we have?

And I’ve said I’m more of a man for a Study rather than a Man Cave. But there’s also the Library, The Red Room or Black. There is the room, a temple to honor my Braxton. I wasn’t kidding when I said I would build that. And V may one day join him. 920 days.

Only the meaning of my dream. It is that the tears, desires, sweat, and toil you experience follow me. Overflowing. And I am like the ocean. You’re filling me up, blowing me up with your love. Rooms B Through V.

1479 Days Without B III, Day 920 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So why am I randy, passionate, hot, and bothered today… Well, a woman I like isn’t mad at me. Some dirtier thoughts got posted. And today is “The Cherry Collison.” Why think about “her” yabbos. I overthink everything else. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is the age of Doublethink. So, how come I was not more of a rebel?

Because I overthink. As will you. As will all. See, it’s already started. But as always, we begin with Braxton. Have you figured out what took him from you yet? Seriously, my boy… My man. Technically, the Braxton mourning period is from the last week of January to the 13th of February. And between now and the third week of January 2026. If you live.

And even now, you don’t want that. But since you need to figure out why 2-V was crying… Um… I kicked him out because he wouldn’t stay put, and the storm was scaring him. And if he had been Braxton. Here we go again… AHEM. “And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” Or how to do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Overthinking should be on the list. Why? Because it’s causing you to write down questions you already know the answers to. This isn’t any of your Math classes looking for X. It’s about recognizing when you’re overthinking and stopping yourself from going down that path.

Anyway, why should overthinking be on the list? Yesterday? Yeah, I was all messed up regarding M Anime. But what did she say? She needed to catch five hours of sleep. Eff!!! If anything, you know all about getting some sleep. But to rest ever. I tried, you tried, SIGH.

Not when there are so many yabbos, your yogurt slinger, and your words, your words, your words, they have power. Your words have the power to change things. One of the guys on X/Twitter showed your ngl message about… nevermind.

Worry about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Amongst other things… Terrible thing to live in fear, as Stephen King put it. Living?

Honestly, next to Braxton dying, you having to live is the worst. Ask Virgil someday.

Virgil is only a reflection of you? Hell! I’m a reflection of you and don’t know what to tell you. More like I don’t know how not to lie to you. Because again, I overthought everything, and now you have a whole week to. That’s right, you’re not working. ANY?

Honestly! What have you been doing since we’ve been having this conversation? At best, waiting for your tax refund… On a Sunday… And that’s only one more worry. Get up. That’s right. Cleaning, cooking, the cost of living, and your Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

1477 Days Without B III, Day 918 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

B is for a big mouth. Maybe I should say F for my effing fingers. So… How did V-Day go? Forgiving the fact that the 13th was B’s 20th birthday. The fight I had with Adore Me over M Anime’s gift. And her not talking to me… B’s For Blame Virgil.

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I am guiltless. Cast in the name of God. Ye not Guilty, Lady Lunalesca.

For what? “The Big O” from last night? And that wasn’t even with M Anime. But for the record, she did get me all hot and bothered. And the next thing you know, I’m spilling all over that girl Mei from Overwatch. She’s so much like M Anime, Lady Lunalesca.

But we’ll get to that. What about my boys, my boys! Braxton’s gone, and speaking of spilling… Virgil decided to puke all over the bed, giving me another reason to change the sheets. Next thing you know, I’m kicking him out because I believe he wasn’t sick at all. Anxiety? I can relate. I’ve been frazzled all morning. But I’m not grieving for my Braxton.

Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s not due for a check-up until April.

But if something happens to Virgil before then… What am I supposed to say, Lunalesca?

I’ve got “Faith of The Heart.” I had that for Braxton. And he didn’t live to see his twentieth birthday. And didn’t I say I would stop blaming myself for Braxton being gone? Never Acceptance.

Once again, it’s the fifteenth, and I haven’t cried for Braxton once today. But whenever I’m in pain, I think of the worst crime I ever committed. Seriously, Lunalesca, Gale had Katniss kiss him when he was in pain. All I have is the memory of the son that I failed. But wait, there’s more! I can blame myself for everything, but Luna, do I look a thing like Jesus?

Lunalesca, I talk like a gentleman, like you imagine “When You Were Young.” I’m forty.

So what mistake did this forty-year-old make yesterday with my Valentine? Takes a breath I started the morning with a good morning text and hoped she’d have a “Lovely Day.” I sent her a couple of songs and then asked her permission to show her picture, you know, take a look at my “girlfriend,” and all. She said she was bashful, so I didn’t. She spent most of the day ranting about everything: the IRS, exploitive management, and such. You know I’m one for ranting and complaining, dear Lady Lunalesca.

Plus, my type is the broken doll or the prettiest doll I want to break. Anyway, I bought her a survival kit, which is her thing. And some lingerie, which is my thing, but she suggested what she wanted. I read about this nightmare she had. Who am I to talk? I turned Nightmare At The Meat Market into a 50,000-word novel inspired by her nightmares. In the evening, we talked about dinner and the different anime we watched as children. We also talked about culture and languages. And then, Lady Lunalesca. Here we go.

Breathes, I brought up my friends. M Anime is Puerto Rican. But there’s Cherry who’s an English girl and white. Awesome melons! I didn’t say that part. There’s Braxton’s Aunt, who’s Black Girl magic personified. And then I said if I had an Asian girl and a lesbian friend, I’d be set… And I haven’t heard from M Anime since. So now what, Lady Luna?

“Sorry, Blame It On Me.” I even tried to use that line from Kanye West to explain it a bit:

“My favorite girl wanna leave me just because I got a girlfriend
My freak girl told me now she a Christian
My white girl wanna move back to Michigan
I’m pulling girls off the bench like a sixth man” ―

And I texted M Anime this morning asking if she was upset. That’s Valentine’s Day.

For all I know, I did nothing. But I blame myself for everything. And if I messed up, the likelihood of Braxton getting a stepmom… But B’s For Blame Virgil?

1476 Days Without B III, Day 917 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Valentine, M Anime. To B’s favorite girl. And to Cherry, who has the nicest Yabbos I’ve never seen. And speaking of things I’ve never seen. Loving myself? Eww! Not like that. But I love B III. And 2-V… “Love To B Virgil.”

Friday, February 14, 2025

Meditation 228 ~Love To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A “love story”. Is Braxton sending me Taylor Swift songs? I started with Bill Withers today.

A “lovely day,” isn’t it when it isn’t my tears for Braxton but something else for, um… M Anime. Eww! I’m sure she would not appreciate me feeling some kinda way about her, Valentine, though she may be. I still have shopping to do for her, too. Welcome to manhood…

No, my lady. I truly felt like a man when I became a Dad, a realization that hit me hard last night. I found myself shedding tears over my first love, my son, Braxton, B III. And Virgil? He’s still here, breathing. Alive and well.

And Virgil’s heart is still beating. It’s “Times Like These” that I remember… I still have one of my own, Sophia. Or it will be tomorrow. Back to showing everyone how much I love 2-V.

Love? A step too far…

But Virgil’s been here 916 days. But then ask me how long I’ve known M Anime. Let’s say I’m glad I’m not playing the role of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin. As much as I care for M Anime, I gotta get my Jiggy on occasionally. Some freaky, deaky, and all. When was the last time? Hmm.

It’s been a while. Today, it is supposed to be all about M Anime. So, what to do, what to do? As I said, I sent her some Bill Withers. And I have some shopping to do. Flowers and candy? Nah! “My Girl…” is into survival gear and, surprisingly, lingerie, along with some crotchless outfits. Ahh! So that’s why I stuck around, besides her being a good person. And maybe…

“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me…” Remind me to send her Wonderwall, Honey and the Moon, and Take Me To Church. Who says you can’t love someone if you can’t love yourself first? Is it love? It’s something, my lady. But what?

Because, truth be told, I don’t “always” love or even like myself. But the lust for everything, that’s always there…

Love, for me, is reserved for my boys, my sons. Loving people that’s a whole different story. It’s complicated. But rolling around in bed… Eww!

Lady Sophia that is so much simpler. And it explains where I am at this very moment. If I get up, it will be to take V outside and that must mean I love him. His four legs and all.

Valentine’s Day? It’s for M Anime. Love To B Virgil

1475 Days Without B III, Day 916 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 227 ~Braxton’s Heart, Virgil’s Lungs~

WillLeave a comment

What hurts the most, E-Day or B’s Birthday? I’m too old. And the odds that Braxton could make it to twenty… But it was my plan. And how did I spend the day? B’s future stepmom may be my Valentine. Speaking of hearts… “Braxton’s Heart, Virgil’s Lungs”

Thursday, February 13, 2025

Meditation 227 ~Braxton’s Heart, Virgil’s Lungs~

1474 Days Without B III, Day 915 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? For a second, I figured I was gonna have (takes a breath) a Lovely Day.

After all, it is your birthday. Happy Birthday, Braxton Barks Bradford, B III, my son. Twenty is a big number, my beloved son. Should I say that I prefer fifteen? That’s how old you were when you left. But I was twenty when I met you, B. Then there’s money. The money needed for your heart condition. But in the end, it was your kidneys. Must we talk about this now? The fact that I didn’t buy your traditional birthday lunch. And with everything I’m going to spend between today and tomorrow. The fifteenth Braxton…

Will I stop crying over you? It’s been four years. And speaking of crying, I need to talk to your aunt. She has her tears. There’s Cherry and M Anime…

Cherry has a set of lungs on her, amongst other things… Seriously, Braxton, I should have gotten you one of those vests to be my emotional support pet. Would they let you in a gentlemen’s club then? You like women’s assets as much as I do. But what about Virgil?

That boy sure can howl. I don’t think he and I were crying about the same thing, though. I cry because you left. And if you had made it to twenty… I would have stuffed your belly with all-you-can-eat. I remember you had a bottomless stomach until your aunt made a cake. It was that good to you. I’d never seen you happier… Sadder. A decent memory. What about me? Selfish as always, but Braxton…

I did ask M Anime to be my Valentine. I get another chance at that. Do you remember how last year went down…? In flames. And again, how about the previous four years, B III.

You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration. I hear you, Braxton; save it for M Anime. Today and tomorrow, I’ll be lucky if I hear anything at all with Virgil’s barking. Don’t forget why I was so rushed to get back today. I forgot all about our annual birthday pic. I need to get on that, but I was busy getting on Reika Kurashiki. I’m scum.

Braxton, did somebody call me? A part of me, anyway. Heart, mind, and soul are my gifts to you. Happy Birthday. Braxton’s Heart, Virgil’s Lungs.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad