Meditation 330 ~There’ll B Bodies, Virgil~

I got so freaking sad. Walmart tends to do that before MAGA’s tariffs. As always, FDT! And I won’t get paid this week. Virgil has a vet visit, and I have a girl looking to be with me. I’m trying to ‘save’ myself… There’ll B Bodies, Virgil

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Meditation 330 ~There’ll B Bodies, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I’m not Jigsaw. Did I mean that to be funny? Like Stephen King, Eli Roth…

Oh yes, there will be blood. Only in movies and books. And why am I in such a creepy mood today? Monday, May 26, 2025. The past few weeks haven’t been so kind. I know.

But I could be crying over Braxton as I did this morning. There was the sweat from my “Anxiety” setting up Virgil’s next vet appointment. I must be as ‘annoying’ as Doechii’s song worrying about my first and second born. And can I mention I see myself sitting on that hard bench in Banfield back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, hearing my son was dying?

He wasn’t the first life I saw end, but the first I ended with my own hand. The stroke of a pen, whatever. A body.

And he was lucky. Braxton only had to die once… Twice, if I ever truly let him go. I don’t know if I ever can. But that’s the man you married. One who has died so many times up to this point in our lives. Our lives? But the day my B left is the one I dare to remember.

“On the day I was born.” What, was I “Bad to the Bone?” The day my father beat my ass for lying about my homework. I wrote down the problems but without any answers. Hell! I still feel a certain kind of way about drinking a bottle of IBC Root Beer. He smacked the bottle out of my hand before… Anyway, how many other lives.

“There I lay, wearing dead people as armor against death.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

Again I’m being pretty effing creepy. But I slay, vanquish, delete, and unalive myself so many times in so many different ways. And no, not because of Braxton. Or that I feel I’m failing Virgil. What about taking care of you and our children? Baby Doll, Love? A Man Provides.

And ‘God forbid’ I use the dreaded K-word. Unless we’re talking about the film Pontypool, then “K*ll is kiss!” And I can’t start singing Teen Idle Feeling super, super (super!)… well, you know the rest. I surround myself with the living to keep back death.

I lie in bed with you. I pay Virgil’s bill. I tuck in our children. I read and write. Burying bodies in fiction without graves. But There’ll B Bodies, Virgil

“Be the body, not the shadow; hold space.”
From ― Amina, The Book of Clarence

1577 Days Without B III, Day 1018 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 328 ~Braxton Got High, Virgil~

I want to blame little bottles of energy, a case of blue balls, or my bills, so I haven’t been eating the best. But they did waive the $189.00 charge at the dealership. The CEL was a “mistake.” Now, V’s vet bill. Because when Braxton Got High, Virgil

Sunday, May 25, 2025

Meditation 328 ~Braxton Got High, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Nice to see you again. By that, I mean you’re standing; your eyes aren’t blurry. You’re awake.

But will you ever be zero dollars, getting brisket on your piggie potato and a girl begging you to Eff high? Today, you’re trying to get over an addiction, which is my fault. I’m sorry.

5-hour ENERGY is a hell of a drug. Headaches, exhaustion you wouldn’t believe, and your legs. As ZZ Top puts it, “She got legs. She knows how to use them.” But we’ll talk about your boys’ stepmom, the Wild Fire Sisters, Dimitrescu Daughters, Marimo Sakagami, Maxine… SHUT-UP! Whoever you want to fantasize about comes later.

Yesterday… “Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.” I’m at the dealership and get hit with a $189 look-at-it fee. Final verdict for the car… Zero dollars. Saved! But not from Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pastor’s Purity Test: Forbidden First Time Sex by Emme Cox
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Look at that; I even got number four. But between all the worrying, how I wasted the week. There’s the exception of texting with the woman who could become your sons’ stepmom. She would be a reason to take your pants off. But you’re suffering from withdrawal, I know. You can’t be considering drinking those energy shots I bought. Eff!

But again, I saved you $189.00. A pretty girl waived the fee. Only now are you heading to the next battle? You must keep Virgil’s paws on the ground to stop him from joining Braxton.

The Rainbow Bridge is a beautiful place… But do you remember the price of getting Braxton there? Ain’t talking about money. Keeping V alive isn’t on these Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because keeping Virgil breathing… You’re his effing Daddy. It’s your job. It’s what you do. But you need a Day Job for that. And while I saved you money, there won’t be a paycheck this week. Didn’t I tell you I wasted the week? And again, I am sorry. Honestly.

Thoughts and Prayers. What am I, an Effing MAGA Red Hat worshipping a Cheeto? FDT!

But you have a choice. Do you want to be high enough to reach Braxton? It’s a lot of pain.

You should be high enough to look M Anime in the eye and say. you’re “The Only One For Me.” Too much? High enough to place Virgil and Braxton as brothers and not as competition. Hey, Braxton Got High, Virgil.

1575 Days Without B III, Day 1016 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 327 ~Braxton Cashes In Virgil~

I’ve had two car accidents. One with two different cars. Today’s car drama started with me going to see my Olds on Mother’s Day. What shall I see today? Books in a waiting room. A bill. A boy, a son, I failed. B was lucky… “Braxton Cashes In Virgil.”

Saturday, May 24, 2025

Meditation 327 ~Braxton Cashes In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Awnaw, hell naw! What a way to wake up, huh? Not with hope, happiness, mental health…

There was a time when Braxton was all there was. I’d collapse into bed, he would make sure I was tucked in, and then he’d go and “stand a post.” A Few Good Men, Lunalesca.

Today, I remember that scared kid I was. God, so long ago. The back of the car smashed into a tree on a dark morning. Terrified I was going to wake up my Old Man. But somehow, the car started again, and I drove to the Day Job. Afterward, with barely $600, I went to Express Oil Change and sat in the waiting room, fear gripping tight, thinking again I’d have to call my Old Man because I wouldn’t have enough to pay. Then what?

As Sia sings I’m “Alive,”

But my son is not. Braxton died so many years afterward. But to be “Two of the Lucky Ones.” I should have followed him. As I’ve said before, Lady Lunalesca. Whenever I’m afraid, I think of the worst day of my entire existence, and that was watching my son die.

Next would be the day I was born. So, I guess the day I wrecked the car and sat in an auto shop would be the third worst day ever. And that is why we’re talking at 5:20 AM, Luna.

I should be asleep, Luna, slithering on my belly or saying to myself, I’ll do better tomorrow. But for me and Apollo Creed, “There is no tomorrow!” Explains Friday evening.

I bought even more books.

Buying books like they’re going out of style. Which, according to MAGA, they are. And I know you’re not Lady Sophia. Still, I purchased everything from Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” to Richard Dresser’s “It Happened Here.” Effing MAGA. Another harem book from Logan Jacobs’ “Backyard Dungeon 17: A Reverse Portal Fantasy.” And finally, there is “The Aeneid” by Virgil. Did I forget my other son, named after the Roman poet? The man who led Dante through Hell. The dog waiting for his walk.

Should I survive today at the dealership and have any money left, there’s Virgil’s health. And what about his and Braxton’s stepmom? Is M Anime that for my boys. Possibility.

But I won’t bet on myself. Braxton Cashes In Virgil

1574 Days Without B III, Day 1015 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 326 ~Contracting Braxton and Virgil~

When it’s not about punching people or pretty girls and my “Enormous P, then there’s paperwork. I have to sign to get the car fixed and to see to V’s health, and I’ll possibly need a credit card. I’m not happy, but I’m Contracting Braxton and Virgil.

Friday, May 23, 2025

Meditation 326 ~Contracting Braxton and Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But first, I need to get my words right. Don’t I mean Contact, Not Contract? SIGH.

The Devil is in the details. Braxton’s Euthanasia papers and Virgil’s Adoption papers. I pose the question. What are two sets of documents I didn’t read thoroughly? Dear Lady Sophia.

It’s the fine print. I didn’t know I’d hate myself always and forever… Braxton’s demise. And I didn’t think I’d be looking at Virgil and start singing “I Always Find A Way” from Even Stevens. A way to care for Virgil. We went out for a walk, and he had breakfast. Even with my splitting headache. Do you see what time it is, Sophia? Seriously?

Today, I didn’t start with reading “Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet: A Guide to Grieving and Healing From Pet Loss” by K.M. Ogden. Another one?

By that, I mean mourning B III. But that’s not why I have the headache now, my dear Lady Sophia. There are worse things to read and worse dreams/nightmares to rest to. Did I say rest? Yesterday, I was talking about B Resting in Peace. Only I don’t let him. And for the past three months, I’ve been complaining about “Dollar dollar bill, y’all.” C.R.E.A.M.

I’m surprised I haven’t been doing that for Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. Should I stop calling M Anime that? When a woman says, she’s looking into jobs where you’re located…

As serious as the heart attack that didn’t take Braxton. It was his kidneys. As serious as the painkillers I took. As serious as the energy shot I missed, Sophia.

5-hour ENERGY does its job, but if you miss a couple of days, your head hurts like a Mother Effer. I swear I’ve been through this before, and still, I could only get off my ass long enough to get a personal pan pizza and a bucket of chicken. OH, I eat so well. Yeah…

Something I’m going to do to M Anime should I ever get the chance. And while I’m talking about adult situations, how are my finances? They’ll be worse tomorrow, Sophia.

I’m getting that Check Engine Light looked at. After that, Virgil’s health. And next comes having any food. To think I wanted to pay for sex, but I found love. B and V make me rich? Contracting Braxton and Virgil

1573 Days Without B III, Day 1014 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 325 ~Braxton Needs Space, Virgil~

When I was a kid… (scoffs). I’m a boy at 40. Anyway, I wanted to be an astronaut. And I want a lightsaber. But who does a 40-year-old run to? B, at 15, was older. Dog Years. Even in death, I can’t give him what he needs. “Braxton Needs Space, Virgil”

Thursday, May 22, 2025

Meditation 325 ~Braxton Needs Space, Virgil~

1572 Days Without B III, Day 1013 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for myself. No energy shot. No cash. Well, not enough cash. What about sleep?

The only space I care about is the two between my eyelids. I need you and Virgil’s stepmom in the worst ways. First, I need to stop calling M Anime that. Second, Braxton, you had a favorite girl. Her Yabbos, anyway. Like father, like son. That is one thing you got from me. An affinity for Yabbos. I’m sure there are some “Somewhere Out There.”

All the gods, they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you were still fighting for life, I’d come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side.
Valeria, Conan the Barbarian (1982)

The only thing I’m sure you need from me right now is space. Is that why M Anime has been “Naughty…Naughty….Naughty in a Vanessa Marcil freaky with Nicolas Cage sorta way. You do remember the movie “The Rock” (1996). I should ask M Anime to put her hair in pigtails. And yes, Braxton, I know “Fucking-A” man! Language and eww!

I need to stop talking, yep. Or at least father to son. But that brings me back to my point.

Space. The final frontier. You’re somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge, while I’m afraid of hitting the road today. I’m scared of today, period. But what do I expect you or your little brother Virgil to do? “Make Room! Make Room!” What, so I can fit in more pop culture references? That’s what The Critic has been saying recently. As I live and breathe Braxton, it’s always the next thing on TV or in a book. Even the whole space idea is The Last of Us.

Only this is not The Last of Us, B. I don’t know what this is. But it is never Acceptance.

It’s me being scared all the time. It’s being a sinner. I don’t think M Anime and I trading pictures sans our clothing is sinful. It’s being slim. I’ve been seeing a lot of my body lately, and since I won’t be getting paid next week… What about this week. I’m going out B III.

I have to get the Check Engine Light looked at. After that comes your brother. He needs to get his yearly shots. Food has not been on the agenda. Not all that much for me.

When you stopped eating, you got sent to Heaven twice, but only once was permanent. I should let you remain there. I should give you space. From this world, the spotlight. Braxton Needs Space, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

My firstborn furry son Braxton kept his balls and was a Puritan except for his toys or favorite girl. Virgil is confused. As for their Dad? Well, my Calendar Girl became bold. So B and V can go out while she and I… uh? “Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.”

Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Is FEAR a sin? What about when I ended Braxton’s suffering? So they say. My writing. Being naked.

We’ll get to all that, Inspector. But yesterday and always, there’s my Braxton. And Virgil?

Well, Virgil is still alive. And right after getting the car fixed, I can afford to worry about him. I can’t really afford anything, but I won’t let Virgil die. I told Braxton likewise, Echo.

Well, it worked, didn’t it? Braxton got a long fifteen years. He was thirteen days shy of his sweet sixteen. Virgil will have had a third of Braxton’s time if we get to October. Five.

Inspector, I can’t imagine five more years for myself. Hell! When I woke up, I didn’t want five more minutes. As Teen Idle says, “Feeling super, super (super!) ….” You know how that lyric ends. When Will My Life Begin?

Do I look like Princess Rapunzel or Mandy Moore? Is it a sin to say I’ve seen several Disney Princesses sans clothing? If anything, I should be jazzed. Or should I say the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” needs to be jizzed and glazed? Must I be so crass? I’m sure, M Anime wouldn’t mind, considering I’ve seen her like no man ever has… Happy Go Lucky Me, Inspector. But I can’t tell you “I Just Had Sex” with her. When I do, Inspector…

Honestly, I might not share everything with you and everyone else. I’m an open book. Inspector, don’t get me started on how I embarrassed myself writing yesterday. It was a lot worse than Akon’s “I Wanna Eff You.” She knows.

And I know. “I’m Too Sexy.” Vanity is definitely a sin. I take a look at my “Enormous Penis,” as Da Vinci’s Notebook sings. And I feel better for a bit. Though you figure I would have creamed my jeans over M Anime a few dozen times. She’s Effing Beautiful!

However, it’s better to keep my pants off. Braxton and Virgil know the difference between my sweatpants and my jeans. And nine times out of ten, jeans did not bode well for my boys. The Day Job, the vet, and people in general. And if I sent them to B’s room. Uh, my “private time.” M Anime wants to get “Nasty.” I can bare my body. I can’t bear my mind. Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.

1571 Days Without B III, Day 1012 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 323 ~L’s Between B, V~

“I want you to recognize the difference between what you feel and what’s real.” I feel courage, but I ain’t got the guts. I’m horny, but I’m lying here on my… man parts. I’m in love, but in how many ways has my heart broken. Loser. “L’s Between B, V”

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Meditation 323 ~L’s Between B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s why we must tell our children about the birds and the bees. That conversation.

“But, uh, has anyone talked to you about the birds and the bees?”
“Oh, you mean dicks and vaginas?”
― The Last of Us (2025)

Thank you, but I prefer it my way
Andre Baptiste Sr., Lord of War (2005)

The first time I gave something even remotely similar to that speech was with Braxton.

More to the point of Ain’t nobody “Humpin’ Around.” What can I say? Like father like son, my love. Braxton was supposed to be my breast… Excuse me. My Best Man. And he and I were both big fans of Yabbos. And he B III liked his aunt. A lot. I had to tell him.

What about Virgil? He won’t need that speech, I’m afraid. The ole snip, snip, treatment. Is it any wonder that my secondborn lost his balls? Braxton had some huge cojones.

Seriously, what’s with all this talk about my boys’ anatomy? Trying to be lighthearted, ha!

I’m so “Heavy In Your Arms.” So “Let’s Get Lost.”

The Twilight Soundtrack? That’s the lightest of it, my love. I want to lose my crown. I’ve never been a good man, but how dare I refuse to be king. I don’t have the heart for it. Mine was broken when I lost my firstborn son, little Braxton. Now yours, our kids, trying to mend Virgil’s. A jar of hearts. And no, not like Christina Perri, more like Marianne Engel.

Do you remember when we read Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle? That Marianne. Do you remember her man, the pornographer? Eff! How I want to get lost in you, baby doll.

“If you have any idea what I want to do to you right now. I can’t live like this.”
Will Traynor, Me Before You (2016)

Fingers, tongue, and, uh, penis. As the Isley brothers said, “Enough of this singin’, let’s make love.” But “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” I have.

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” And I can hear you now if I quote one more song…

But what would be left of me? I can’t tell you the critics. And the one who I could tell…

There’s SADNESS, FEAR, and LUST. So, as I have a week to lie here, I don’t have a week to lie here. So what do I do, my love? What do we do? I can’t do this. But husband, father…

What should I read some more? This morning, it was more about pet loss. When I close my eyes, there’s another ding that scares me. And looking at your beauty. And not being able to do anything Less, Loser, Lost, Me. L’s Between B, V.

1570 Days Without B III, Day 1011 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 321 ~B Shapes Up Virgil~

I got a good look at a few bodies last week. From “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” I had to show her the BIG WILLIE. Not just on OF. Virgil’s still heavy from running from the rain. Braxton fits in a box and a pendent… B Shapes Up Virgil.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Meditation 321 ~B Shapes Up Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… So, as David Ryan Harris sings, “Don’t Look Down.” You’re willing to listen to anyone but me.

I can’t say I blame you. I thought too much or not enough. And B III is proof of that.

Seriously, it’s been four years and about four months, and he’s still in the dirt. Well, in a box, anyway. Braxton trimmed down some. That is so not cool, but dark humor. You’re listening to LoFi Girl to avoid listening to DJ Cara from GTA. And still, there are tears.

Access water weight? You’re sweating bullets. Or you were with fear and keeping the air off. But for Virgil’s sake, you, or your Old Man, need to provide him with some A/C. Bills, bills, bills…

What about a vet visit? He needs to be walked. His XYZ’s of any other needs. Ignoring Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Vector: An overpowered MC harem-lite…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

So why not see to your second-born son. Why not see to yourself? I know you are only now waking up. What have you accomplished? You got a lot off your mind regarding M Anime. You already notice your tendency to overthink things, and that’s without the Purple Pills that Eminem was talking about. Yet you want to take painkillers.

Only, nothing is hurting but that isn’t the standard. Your head? Sure, M Anime set your mind at ease. But your head still feels so heavy. One worry exchanged for so many others, I’m afraid to say. Your heart is still broken, and there aren’t enough drugs in the world.

And you don’t need penis pills. Do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pastor’s Purity Test: Forbidden First Time Sex by Emme Cox
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

No, you’re much too busy thinking about how you would do M Anime. Or Cherry. Manuscripts exchanged for plays. At least she’s being productive. But are you making money yet with your writing? How about making moves to get a refund for your GREAT investment, seeing how it’s been years. You’re thinking of surviving moment to moment or minute to minute. Is life working out for you? If it were, your writing would pay, hmm?

People would be watching you like they do Johnny Sins with the most beautiful women.

And, of course, the world would be a better place because Braxton would still be in it. He’d be twenty. But he was light enough to fly to Heaven. You’re not growing wings. Virgil? Chicken wings? B Shapes Up Virgil.

1568 Days Without B III, Day 1009 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 320 ~Virgil’s Plan B Crisis~

I don’t want to be like my father. A provider, yes. Not one telling their son to man up, grow a pair, or mistake anger for courage. B III had huge cojones. 2-V has none. And mine? Well, between OF and my boys’ stepmom… Oh! Virgil’s Plan B Crisis

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Meditation 320 ~Virgil’s Plan B Crisis~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or if I was, I’d have the balls to be a jerk. Braxton was for free.

Lady Lunalesca, I love my boy like pancakes. But I can call him a jerk. B III had balls, Lu. Virgil is annoying as all Hell. But his balls have nothing to do with me. He’d already been snipped before I met him. Does that thought make me cry. Nope! Virgil woke me up around three in the morning with that panicky run of his. It can be infuriating, Lunalesca.

But why am I talking about dog balls today? Why not focus on mine, if anything? And we will. I have more than enough crises, calamities, and criminality. Lunalesca? Boys?

Always and forever, my boys. I never had a plan for life without Braxton. And what will I do with Virgil? Keep waiting, wanting, walking.

And what about my boys’ stepmom? We went from texting every couple of weeks to trading writing every day. And then, on Thursday, May 15, 2025, as the song goes, I’m all “You Make My Dreams” come true. And I haven’t heard from her since. What am I to think? It’s only been a day, but when a girl shows you a little (something, something…)

Then I’m busy wanking to reciprocate. What? I didn’t do a video. Did I mention I have an OnlyFans? So I had to show off BIG WILLIE. Eww. And that’s all she wrote, my Lady. So, “What makes me a man? Any fool could see (that you’re) more than a woman to me.” That’s what I was trying to say…

But what are Angie Stone, Robin, and Maurice Gibb saying now? That’s pretty dark. Yeah.

You’ll have to excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. It was raining cats and dogs earlier. Too bad none of them were my Braxton. Okay, what is with my “dark humor?” Since it was storming. And Virgil again was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Stop It! Anyway. I couldn’t take Virgil outside. So I listened to DJ Cara “GTA”. Let’s agree that it didn’t do me any favors. Well, other than forgetting the real crises during existence.

First, there’s the Check Engine Light. Afterward, Virgil needs to get his shots. And if somehow I can pay for that. Mourning, Mammaries, and making money. Virgil’s Plan B Crisis.

1567 Days Without B III, Day 1008 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 319 ~Let Him B, Virgil~

I’ve told many a woman on OF, “I Wanna Eff You.” And I’ve told my boys’ potential stepmom plenty. Next thing you know, I’m shopping, and she sends a pic like “When you’re ready, come and get it.” But what I said? What she’s seen. “Let Him B, Virgil.”

Friday, May 16, 2025

Meditation 319 ~Let Him B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I should start saying a book review. But we are twenty weeks into the year, and…

This morning would be the perfect time for a critique. I finished Vector by Michael Dalton but was a bit disappointed. So I wasn’t crying over my son Braxton. It’ll happen. But not yet, Sophia.

Though I do miss him sitting on my head. Braxton would get into Good Trouble. Speaking of Good Trouble, what’s the last John Lewis book I’ve read? Waking up, Sophia.

It would either be Braxton making me want to breathe. A girl’s nice big Yabbos. Oh, Sophia, if you only knew. Or books. And that’s something I need to think about today, my Lady. I’m reading my bank account wrong. And am I even on the schedule for next week? I’m scared, so Braxton told Virgil to let me be.

But that didn’t help with what I was doing last night. What, reading ghost stories? I “pray” my boy B is more than some fur floating in the air. And trying my damndest to make sure his little brother Virgil follows him on the Rainbow Bridge. The walking path this morning was scary enough. Virgil vs a cat? What was I thinking about, my Lady?

A gift from Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. After I got it yesterday, she’s their stepmom. As the song goes, “And then I saw her face. Now I’m a believer.” Only it wasn’t her face…

“And then I saw her face
Now I’m a believer
And not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I’m in love
I’m a believer
I couldn’t leave her if I tried”
I’m a Believer

It was her words, in a way. A late Valentine’s Day gift, she said. No man has ever seen her like this. But I did, Sophia.

So what was I to tell her? “Good God, woman, you’re gorgeous; you’re a goddess.” And what happened next, you ask? Sophia, you can see me on OnlyFans, but she saw me for free, and…

I haven’t heard a word since. And that’s why I had trouble reading the clock this morning, my Lady. It’s why I had difficulty counting what little money I had left. And A shopping list.

I’m so worried about what she’ll say next. B’s Favorite Girl. She’s “The Sweetest Thing” when it comes to me.

“Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick
Your penis is so pretty
You’ve got a handsome di*k

Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large
My body is a movie
And your penis is the star.”
“Staring your penis.”
the film The Sweetest Thing (2002)

“Is you is, or is you ain’t, my baby
The way you’re acting lately makes me doubt.”
Is You or Is You Ain’t My Baby

But have I been right all along? Is M Anime my boys’ stepmom or not? “Is You or Is You Ain’t My Baby” I want to ask her. There’s the word love, the sight, the WRITE… Let Him B, Virgil

1566 Days Without B III, Day 1007 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will