Tag: Fear

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

No songs come to mind when it comes to food… Uh, Weird Al’s “Eat It,” “Cherry Pie,” “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” and D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar to name a few. I should stop listening to HaremLit and food porn while walking Virgil. “Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil”

Sunday, October 26, 2025

Journey 117 ~Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And by God, no, that wasn’t a confession. Nor do your boys compete against each other. Braxton?

Fortunate Son indeed. Your favorite one? Meanwhile, Virgil is still five and still alive, Ha!

And you, partner? Well, you’re as effed as Eddie with Amrila and Ibseth, and the new girl, Vaeda. Backyard Dungeon 22? Some guys have all the luck. Eddie, Grayson, Jacob…

Some Cuban guy that has a harem that your Ex-Girlfriend M Anime decided to join. All because she wants babies. You want to breed M Anime. Must you be so crass? If anything, I wish you would stop reading HaremLit in the morning. And getting all hot and bothered. But if you had that one wish from “The Long Walk…” It’d be for food. Right?

Specifically, breakfast from The Excalibur in the book Succubus Lord. Get it! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

What’s your motivation? Well, besides Braxton’s Resurrection and Virgil’s Immortality?

Yes, we’re going to talk about breakfast and business. First, there are pancakes. You actually have pancakes. You wrote a book about your pancake. My Turn To B III. Yep.

People talk about Chicken & Waffles. Can the same be said about Chicken & Pancakes?

What’s smoking right now is the argumentation of reality or “AI” Artificial Intelligence, my friend. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” Well, programs. Manmade, whatever?

You’re smoked like some smoked sausages you were drooling over. Uh, you were listening to Jacob speak on what he and the Succubi were eating. Do you have the cash?

When you get up off your ass? You’ll have hash… browns. Encouraging Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because you’re not a pig like those in the cult of MAGA, the Cracker Hats. But you do enjoy your bacon. And what about pork chops? How about a political column? You don’t have to be a genius. That is not being negative. It’s a fact. You’re smarter than Trump.

FDT. Do you remember those sausage-and-egg bowls? Of course, this blog itself is another bright idea. You, talking about your everyday life. Years upon years, you novel away. Books galore.

Because talking about Lucky Charms cereal bars or all the junk food that makes up your usual breakfast… Both Braxton and Virgil would prefer those big breakfasts from those old shows. You’ve never smoked a sausage “Forty-One” (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Braxton Smoked Mr. Virgil

1729 Days Without B III, Day 1170 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The School of Hard Knocks sucks. Don’t even get me started on regular schooling. Though I did read Animal Farm and 1984. And the Cracker Hats are following “It Can’t Happen Here” or Project 2025. Anyway, how would I grade myself? “B+ Old Man Virgil.”

Saturday, October 25, 2025

Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can be as sinful, as STUPID, and as skeevy as I want. Right?

And good morning to you, too, Lady Lunalesca. All that’s missing from my day is a plaid robe, some slippers, and a cane. That reminds me, I need to pick up some new jeans, Lu.

This week and the next will be particularly brutal. I mean, “The Long Walk” cruel.

Lunalesca, beside the sad tune of “Teen Idle”, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone! There have been the words of Greg Plitt and his thoughts on FEAR. You know why I hate FEAR. It keeps me young. My son Braxton’s death makes me feel old. And then there’s Virgil, Lu.

I was looking at whiskers yesterday. Five years old… What has Virgil done with existence?

How dare I ask? How would I grade myself existing?

You’ll never know. And not only for that 150-word Depression cap I’m keeping my lady.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

A is for being awake and alive. For being WOKE and not some GD MAGA Cracker Hat, my dear. If this really is The Long Walk, instead of “Eff the Major,” FDT, MAGA, and “The Long Walk.” Just instead of me being #47, Ray Garraty, I’m only 41 (Ben-Hur drums)

Braxton was/is will always be #15. Virgil is #5. But V’s better than Barkovitch, Lunalesca.

B is for books. Again, I’m grateful for Kindle giving my reading streak back, Lunalesca. This morning, I began Backyard Dungeon 22. It’s the last of the series… Lady Lunalesca

But what about boobies, yabbos, and he we go. I’ve been thinking of M Anime’s

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

“C” Lady Lunalesca, I can’t see her anymore… (Begins waving my hand like John Cena)

God “Bless The Broken Road.” I take my breakup—the failure of my relationship with M Anime—as a lesson learned. And the fact that I didn’t turn the broken road into a thing, Lu.

D is for the darkness that I wanted to unleash. Again, that Depression cap Lunalesca.

Desire comes in so many different forms, and today, I begin fighting another once again. Augmenting reality sounds much cooler than what I’ve been doing. An eff of a time.

Effing or just F is not for failure or forgetfulness. I’m not a father of two-legged rugrats. Eff it, I think I like this “Little Life” “B+ Old Man Virgil.”

1728 Days Without B III, Day 1169 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 115 ~Braxton Loved Her Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Two months since my breakup with “my girlfriend” M Anime. I cried three times over her. I cried for my son for seventy days straight, multiple times a day. I knew both for years. So “Where Is The Love?” I “loved” her. And B? Braxton Loved Her Virgil.

Friday, October 24, 2025

Journey 115 ~Braxton Loved Her Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Again, not a book review? And I can’t even call myself a man of courage. Why?

Check out that title. I meant to say “Braxton Loved Her V.” But my Ma raised a gentleman… Well, she tried. With everything I’ve done… I’ll Always Love My Mama.

But I miss my boy. I love Braxton. And Virgil? He can tell I’m in a mood… Not like that.

Neither one of us is anyone’s “Beast Of Burden.” Well, I’m not anymore. M Anime.

“Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girls”
― Beast Of Burden

She was the prettiest, my lady. And I can’t go crooning in her ear, you’re my “Lady.” Not since Sunday, August 24, 2025. I’d stand a better chance of being D’Angelo than being with M Anime. I can’t fix her like a Kindle… They returned my reading streak, my lady.

Threats of losing me and no more stories. M Anime.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I always start with this story. My Dream: I sit on a beach with an open laptop. Me and M’s two legged children play near the water. Their four-legged siblings, Braxton and Virgil, pull them back. Braxton sits beside me, thinking, “I’m too old for this sh*t.” B III… Next, M Anime asks if I have to stay and be macho or if I will have fun with her. Really?

My next story is simplistic. A reason to love “Sunday Morning.” I like Maroon 5, but for “A Sunday Kind of Love.” Like I told Dear Future Wife, Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~ Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

And speaking of war, if you only heard the dark fantasies that M Anime conceived. Seriously, the woman inspired two novels, and I will forever be grateful. But to do the things she wanted, ferocious, fiendish, and felonious… What made me the most fearful, um.

Babies. My Ex-girlfriend wanted babies. And yes, that scared me, but to be a father… Honestly, she only needed to ask, but she didn’t, and that’s why we broke up. That’s not being negative, it’s only the truth. M wanted to be a mom, so she’s marrying some Cuban guy. And besides writing something that apparently spoke the contrary… Truthfully.

Sophia. I’d keep M Anime and my love story, only erasing August 24 and January 31. Braxton Loved Her Virgil.

1727 Days Without B III, Day 1168 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t go shopping when you’re hungry. It helps when you have food in the house or you find time to eat. I’m too busy looking up how to animate myself—and wondering how to fill people in on my Ex. B had snacks for my ranting. “B’s Make Snacks Virgil.”

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Journey 114 ~B’s Make Snacks Virgil~

1726 Days Without B III, Day 1167 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are there honey buns on the Rainbow Bridge? Honey Butter Biscuits. Honey-glazed whatever… Chicken, perhaps.

I sure was hungry this morning. So says your Daddy with a bag of jelly beans, Sweet Tarts, a Christmas cake, and around ten peanuts. I’m so confused right now, I don’t know whether to invite you in so we can share a meal or kick you out because Daddy’s…

Anyway, it doesn’t matter because M Anime ain’t here. And she won’t be coming by. Once upon a time, my “big sister” told me that I was so full of “Real Emotion” that I didn’t have room for anything else. It’s why I starved myself near death. Yeah, Braxton Barks.

Sigh, I only passed out before your walk, once. Am I that depressed right now?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

150-Word Cap, remember? So, at the moment, I’m hungry for “more”; I’m never full, B.

While I was out walking, little brother, I fell upon a realization that I’m just like you and Virgil. I want a full belly, bed, and my boy. I found your little brother cuddling me.

However, it was on the side of the bed where I eat all my snacks, so it’s not me, perhaps.

What is me, is all the work I’ve been doing, researching, and such. I’ve been talking plenty about the Magic Glasses and augmenting reality. And did you catch the Real Emotion quip? It’s Jade from Sweetbox. And I was thinking, if I could animate myself and Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2. I know Braxton, TMI.

But I can keep your memory alive, too. Every day is like a step in your resurrection, my friend, which leads me back to M Anime, your would-be stepmom. Well, no, Mr. B. And that’s not negativity, it’s only a fact. But tomorrow will be two months post-breakup. M Anime…

She was a snack I hoped would become a meal, a feast, a kitchen, a home. And yes, I still hunger for her. I feel like I might burst from the memories of “family,” Honestly.

Braxton, you and your little brother, M Anime and cats, and M wanted children badly.

My life would be full if I could have all that. So “Ready Or Not,” I’ll ask that you and Virgil excuse me as I figure out creating that, “After 7.” B’s Make Snacks Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

WillLeave a comment

Time for me to get a new tablet… Kindle took my over 2000-day reading streak. I read on Virgil’s birthday. And it’s not the time for him to join his big brother Braxton. And how have I been spending my time? AI Johnny Sins? Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because I didn’t tell Braxton he was living his last day? And Virgil’s older now, FIVE. THIRTY-SIX Human?

I actually took the time to look that up, Inspector. Monday, I read something interesting.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

I’m glad I read something because, according to Kindle, I didn’t, as they dropped my 2,000-some odd-day reading streak. WTF! I’m sure I read on 2-V’s Birthday. I know it.

Anyway, the quote… It got me thinking about my writing, which doesn’t pay. The idea that I can become the Johnny Sins of AI… Again, that doesn’t pay either. I haven’t had a customer in a week. There’s reading, gaming, and a Social Media presence.

Inspector, I know that’s very funny. You should have seen how I humiliated myself at the Day Job. It pays, but not enough. There’s always time to make money. But not to be depressed. SIGH!

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, this isn’t negativity… Let’s call it goal setting. It’s like talking to Braxton, Inspector.

I need to write. But look at the quote above. I’m talking to you, the other girls, myself, Braxton, and I’ve even given him a voice. I want to work on my writing lifestyle, which means more novels that I WILL edit. I want to write snippets using “Magic Glasses.”

Echo, I haven’t been able to get Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses series out of my mind these days. I even use the “idea” in everyday life. I imagine what I want to see. So yesterday I kept telling myself, “Pick up your feet, you’re better than this.” Or like Scarface:

“The world is yours.”
Scarface

So I’ve been reworking the world from a digital standpoint.

And then there’s everything else that doesn’t involve my boys, Braxton and Virgil. They always show up in my writing. And I’d kick them out when I’m having my “time.” But I’m still reading Backyard Dungeon 21, playing a few new mobile games, and socializing.

Inspector, I’m learning to manage money, and I should do the same with time, honestly.

Next week will be lucrative “Day Job-wise.” But it only drives me to pursue my many passions. That again begs the question, my “Passion.” “Money making is a wonderful thing.”

Nothing is wrong with being “Carmen Queasy” because we all could use more cash, Echo.

But I know you can’t buy time. We need “Time Enough At Last” like Henry Bemis. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

1725 Days Without B III, Day 1166 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

WillLeave a comment

It’s love to pick one foot up and put it down, then again. Braxton and I did it for fifteen years. Virgil has been doing it for five now. “Love Is A Long Road.” Life is “The Long Walk.” So am I winning alone (with V). I’m no gym bro. “B And V Bench.”


Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “my” music? How “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher And Higher.” Like Braxton’s?

No, I’m not Jackie Wilson. And should you take this as the “Diary of a Tired Black Man.” No, I’m not that famous. But I am tired, black, and a man. Yours, always and forever.

Scratch the tired part. But today I am. Why? I just lifted my second-born son Virgil to his fifth birthday. Hell! I raised B III straight to Heaven. Don’t put your blame on me, “Human.”

I imagine that’s what Braxton would say. I didn’t “end” him. “You and me,” Darling…

“Love lift us up where we belong,” please. As I’ve been down since… You remember?

Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I’ve gone from shuffling my feet to telling myself to lift up my feet, I deserve better than this. Love?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’m proud of my body. I haven’t eaten anything but a shared McDonald’s birthday lunch with 2-V, some candies, and peanuts. That’s not negativity, but the facts. “I’m Still Here.”

“I’m Still Standing!” “I’m still strong!” Whether it’s Elton John, Antwone Fisher, or any number of pop culture references. It’s love. I want to think of you like that, Darling.

Honestly, call it “A Sunday Kind of Love.” The kind I felt when Braxton would sit on my head, and I loved him/ love him enough to take him outside. When I would rise to see you love, in more ways than one. Our two-legged kids would still be sleeping. B and V would be pawing at the door. But we would lie here, love.

Right here, before I’d type out to the millions and millions, my dreams of us. The two of us, listening to ’50s/’60s apocalyptic pop. Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

Honestly, though, I didn’t care about the “Civil War” 2024 or whatever MAGA has going on, whether it’s a movie or reality. “I got Heaven right here on Earth.” Your husband. A man of leisure. And again I am telling myself to pick ’em up and put ’em down. And that is a husband’s, a father’s, and a man’s responsibility. I keep saying it. A man provides hmm—the truth.

“The Long Walk” and all. Love’s my exercise. Be my partner. B And V Bench.

1724 Days Without B III, Day 1165 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I want the freedom to lie in bed and cry about my boy whenever I feel the spirit. I effing hate Sundays. I want the freedom to lie here and make an income with books and boobies\yabbos. I want the freedom to sleep without FEAR. “Free That B, Virgil.”

Sunday, October 19, 2025

Journey 110 ~Free That B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And don’t you even think of giving Virgil advice right now. You won’t take mine. And Braxton’s?

Well, your son loved/loves you. Virgil’s birthday is tomorrow. He’ll be five—four of those years, spent with you. And you still have no idea what he thinks of you. But what about me, hmm? You’re right back to sitting in bed. You need to go to the store. Ridiculous!

Only that’s not to be confused with “Ridiculousness.” Much like the government, MTV is shutting down… That’s what I heard. But like me, you ain’t heard much of nothing. Ha!

Today is “All About You.” If Jeymes Samuel wrote you a theme song? Or how about “Run Boy Run.” But you’re not Woodkid either. You’re a BUM in BED, and you’re BEGINNING to waste another week. Disappointing your boys and yourself with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Hysteria: A Victorian Medical Exam Erotica 1 by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Now, let’s talk about Kelli Wolfe’s “Hysteria” and this fixation on HaremLit. I mean M Anime… And no, this is not being negative, but only the truth. M Anime left you to go and join a Cuban man’s harem. But the info on how one can accomplish is out there. Honestly, I haven’t been watching the X-Files or anything. “The XXX Files,” we’ll get there.

Anyway, my point is this. Yes, the truth is out there, so keep reading. Fiction and reality, if Jacob can do it in the Succubus Lord series, Eddie in the Backyard Dungeon series, and Feversham in Kelli Wolfe’s books, and the list goes on. “And The Beat Goes On,” dude.

You’re free from my week. But your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 21, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yes, you are meant to be free from some things like these six, but others—for example, your two boys. Never forget you are Braxton and Virgil’s Daddy. No matter where they are in this universe. Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge or Virgil hiding in Braxton’s bedroom. Well, not really, he’s just sitting there communing with the spirit of Braxton. Ah, B III and 2-V.

You are studying up on everything for your new business. If you have a goal, it’s bed, bucks, and bimbos with big Yabbos as Neil Bimbeau would say. Anyway, you must focus on who you’ll be. The person you want to be. Like you have a pair of Magic Glasses.

Freedom from FEAR and FAILURE. FDT! Free That B, Virgil

1722 Days Without B III, Day 1163 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 109 ~I’ll B Awake, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m with everyone in spirit. From my son Braxton on the Rainbow Bridge, to his little bro Virgil, who is being “annoying” on a pillow. To all the men, women, and others marching against MAGA and the Cracker Hats. FDT! No KINGS “I’ll B Awake, Virgil.”

Saturday, October 18, 2025

Journey 109 ~I’ll B Awake, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… What for? Because I want to be in bed all day. Braxton? Banging Bimbos? Buying Games?

Ask me what I want on “Any Given Sunday” (a movie I’ve never seen, by the way, football sucks). Anyway, ask me what I want besides my Braxton back or having the balls to leave.

I want to be in bed. Money will solve literally all of my “99 Problems.” But a b*tch… Lady Lu. Am I talking about my EX M Anime or my business? Business ain’t booming, Luna.

But as Kid Rock sings “Only God Knows Why, “I’ve been sittin’ here tryin’ to find myself.
I get behind myself. I need to rewind myself.” More like you’re telling “You need to get up, get out and get somethin'” Like rights? The NO KINGS protest is today. I’m WOKE.

But Lunalesca, I’m so tired!!!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Whatever, Ngga.” “My nggaz need me.” I mean my boys, my sons, Braxton and his little brother Virgil. This means I need to get back to business. The momentum I had a few days ago. I mean, that’s the thing, isn’t it? Doing things that keep me awake and alive.

Aren’t I working out the buttons on Spotify to wake up today, from Hugo to Kid Rock, some Scarface, and now Peter Gabriel. Even my phone told me to turn down the “Boom Boom Pow” in my ears. That means I’m working and making the bucks at the Day Job.

My belly will be grateful. Nothing wakes you up like hunger. And I’ve been craving tacos as of late. Better than TACO Trump that is. Didn’t I mention NO KINGS?

But plenty of Yabbos. Of course, I’ll have the opportunity to do better next week, won’t I, my dear Lady Lunalesca? No need to say “I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.” I’m no “Jumper” Lady Lunalesca. And the only falling I’m doing over and over again is into the mattress as I drool over some lady’s yabbos. Excluding my Ex.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

Books are good for that, too. I’m reading Backyard Dungeon 21, and one of Eddie’s wives had a child. And another one of his wives is pregnant. Oh, life could be a dream “Sh-Boom.” Thirteen Women (And Only One Man in Town). Lunalesca? Bedroom antics.

You’re telling me, “You better work.” I’ll B Awake, Virgil.

1721 Days Without B III, Day 1162 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 108 ~To B Reel Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Does it count that I say please when I ask the AI for something? Please summarize my work. Please create a small intro. Please show me and my boys, with my Ex and her big yabbos. A 1000 words or fewer that could have been a picture. To B Reel Virgil.

Friday, October 17, 2025

Journey 108 ~To B Reel Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another book review. And what about “The Long Walk?” Ain’t got no time.

“Should have been dead on a Sunday morning, banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain’t got no time”
Creed

Isn’t that my excuse for everything? Ain’t got no time. If only I were publishing books. Or if I were living Johnny Sins’ life. Minus effing the beautiful women, that’s what existing feels like today. “The NeverEnding Story,” which is me breathing. Complete utter mess!

Much like my playlists. We’ve gone from Creed’s My Own Prison to the Stranger Things version of NeverEnding Story. There’s so much noise when I’d prefer silence or my snoring. Hell! I’d take crying over B III, or ranting about M Anime breaking my heart.

And what about Cherry’s yabbos? I should finish the novels about M Anime and Cherry.

And I need to finish reading a story for Sunday. It won’t be “Backyard Dungeon 21,” my lady. Sad stories…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Ain’t got no time. Since I’m supposed to be creating a business plan, did you know that even hardcore adult films have stories? Of course! But this week I’ve been reminded of staying up late when I was “younger” to watch things like Co-Ed Confidential, Life on Top, Forbidden Science, etc. And didn’t a hero say something about great power?

Responsibility. Braxton took me for a hero. And his little brother, Virgil? Well, he’s lying on his pillow and we’re not in bed at the moment. Nor are we at the Dining Room table, Lady Sophia. No more sorrowful stories. Well, Eddie Hill hasn’t lost anyone in Backyard Dungeon 21. They are celebrating Halloween. Entirely a coincidence, I’m reading it?

Honestly. My Dear Lady Sophia.

We have another week before Halloween, but Virgil’s birthday is on Monday. He’ll be 5.

I still remember when Braxton’s Favorite Girl made Braxton a cake, and we had a night of watching movies together. Tasteful films because it was B III’s birthday after all.

Braxton will tell me to be a good father to Virgil. The things I don’t have to write down, but I can see myself doing, despite everything. As far as I was/am concerned, Braxton would/will live forever. And I don’t see Virgil getting any older. He needs a nail trim…

That bill will be a love story. That’s not negativity but a simple truth, like making a grocery list for Virgil and me. Paying with what? To B Reel Virgil

1720 Days Without B III, Day 1161 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

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Not much has changed since last week. Breathing still hurts. And just when I began to smell… Is that money? FEAR of sending money to the wrong place. How many times will I visit the food truck? And Virgil needs a cake. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Journey 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent~

1719 Days Without B III, Day 1160 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Well, I miss you. I hate breathing. And “How I Met Your Mother” sucked.

The ending, anyway. And I know that’s a lot to take in, B III. It’s like old times, my boy.

Late afternoon, your Dad, waking up after a hard day at the Day Job. My belly is still full from a big lunch that I can’t afford, but you like fries—Virgil’s big walking adventure.

Braxton, remember when you became an old man and I brought you food to prevent that?

Going outside is overrated, and Virgil will be an old man soon enough. He’ll be a third of your age, five. Hell! A quarter, considering I keep your spirit alive. The thing about air:

“It’s a sacrifice, it takes hard work,
It’s a way of life.”
From “The Glow”

So why keep doing it? Only God Knows Why. NOSE!

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As I was huffing and puffing, pulling fixtures at the Day Job, I started thinking about those motivations I had started listening to again. Gratitude, good things, and giving each breath purpose; telling our story to you and the girls. Not being negative. Simply facts.

Like the smell of success. My side hustle. As I told Inspector Echo yesterday, I did make money. Earlier today, I had a few nibbles from some prospective buyers. Dreaming?

Braxton, you remember the dream, don’t you? I wanted to write from a beach somewhere.

You and Virgil would be the ones sweating through your fur, pulling your two-legged siblings from the salt water. And the best breath I would ever take would be free!

Honestly, to breathe without FEAR!

When you were here, Braxton, “My eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom.” There was less FEAR. But with your Virgil around… Bless your furry little brother. I suppose I should look at everything as an opportunity. I must be brave, B.

What’s that movie where they say, Smells Like Victory? But being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums), looking to be Forty-Seven in The Long Walk, the novel, of course, B III. But for the record, I’d let you win in the movie. Making movies. Honestly Braxton.

Films featuring men and women sweating in the throes of passion. B, providing a life. When you breathe air, my heir, I hope you do a little better than me. Breathing. Braxton, Virgil, Heirs Apparent

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad