Tag: Time

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

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So, what are my plans today? Hell! I was asking AI the same question, or more to the point. How can I publish Braxton’s book by the 25th? Because, as my uncle would sing, “When my money ran out?” He has Jesus. I had B. And V… Between B-V Lies FU

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… It’s funny, I keep saying that. Does it look like I’m having fun? Eff, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, that comes later. And I’ll be with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

I’ll probably be crying out for her the way Winston Smith called for Julia, Lunalesca. Again, my “Wildest Dreams” come later. And yes, I have a Taylor Swift fantasy. “Creep.”

No, I should be listening to “Boys Don’t Cry.” So, what had me crying on this lovely Saturday morning? As usual, Braxton is still dead. I’m worried about Virgil; he’s eating, but what’s eating him? I pulled a tick off his ear yesterday. Remind me to invest in alcohol, my Lady. Both the type to throw ticks in and the kind you drink, since I’d like to forget about Norton Antivirus. No one’s saying, “Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy.”

Now you know I don’t do HAPPY. If you asked me what would make me HAPPY, my most simplistic answer would be NO FEAR. Give me one day when I’m not in tears and afraid, Lady Lunalesca. Can I bring back the dead? Have B barking, “Be Not So Fearful”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

So I look for what’s funny and fun, it’s Saturday. “Every Day Is Exactly The Same” to me, my Lady. Sunday, January 31, 2021. I hate the weekdays, and I haven’t thought about anything good about Sunday until M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Texting her and trading pictures with her sans our clothing makes me feel a little less effed. Ironically we’ll be effing “All Night Long” someday.

Braxton kept me from effing myself in more ways than one. My furry son, Lunalesca.

This brings us to today. As I was walking with Virgil Vivi today, I thought our journey was less fun. I have to watch out for spider webs and keep the several million bugs off of him. Silly Virgil, EAT!

And despite all this, I made it to the Dining Room table for the second day in a row, Lu.

So I was thinking, what do I do for fun? Music, Movies, and Manuscripts. Oh, and look at the mammaries. M Anime’s, Cherry’s, and even Jane’s from “SeeJaneGoTV.” I swear, I’m “Just A Man,” one of many remarking on her Yabbos. But she liked the comment. Seriously. Mentioning Yabbos, only…

Like Squid Game’s Gi-hun, “I’m F*cked” Between B-V Lies FU.

1616 Days Without B III, Day 1057 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 002 ~So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil~

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In my wildest dreams, I picture my son in his final moments saying, “It’s my turn to fly. Father, be with me tonight.” What I think he said was “Why can’t I stay?” But probably, “Can we pick up some wings on the way home?” So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil.

Thursday, July 3, 2025

Journey 002 ~So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil~

1614 Days Without B III, Day 1055 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did you get to where you’re going safely? What, right here by my side today?

Forgive me, but it takes a concentrated effort to even remember what day it is. Fireworks, notwithstanding. I swear Independence Day is like Armageddon for your sort. Virgil wasn’t too thrilled last night, and we haven’t even made it to the fourth yet. And me?

Braxton, you remember when I would sing to you, “Don’t look down.” Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground.” I know, I’m no David Ryan Harris. I’m not Marina either. All Teen Idle. But I’m still “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” I’m not singing that to Virgil. Your little brother has been hearing me mutter the word “EAT” all this week. Does that remind you of anyone? Your last day? Your last meal? And today…

Well, seeing as how I have to go and buy more dog food. Yes, your brother is eating, B III.

Anyway, maybe it was that terrible Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese I had yesterday. Braxton, I swear I thought I was going to get food poisoning. But this morning I had a hankering for some ranch wings, with that WILD sauce from Buffalo Wild Wings.

Braxton, you’ve been gone four long years, and I can’t remember if you were here when I discovered that. I want to remember the good things about you, about us. That’s something I’ve been saying a lot to you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

We’ll get to her. Now, I’m hungry and trying to forget my humiliations at Walmart.

There was a time when Walmart had a new guy, and I walked away with a half-filled bucket of chicken. Why? I don’t have the courage that Oliver Twist possessed.

Please, Sir, I want some more.
― Oliver Twist, Olivier!

More wings! More feathers in my cap! More cheese, cash, C.R.E.A.M. Dollar, dollar bill, y’all! And how am I paying for 2-V to eat at all? I’m not letting him join you today, B III.

“What do we say to the god of death… Not today!”
― Game of Thrones

You don’t want him following you either. Or me, for that matter. Especially with M Anime making me believe “I think I’ve found myself an angel. A pretty girl who makes my life complete.” Kenny Lattimore? What about Prince’s “The Most Beautiful Girl In the World”? Braxton, you know food and flight. But “Girls, Girls, Girls…” So, Wings? Braxton, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

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“Takin’ care of business and working overtime, workout.” This food mayn’t be so heavy in my hand, trying to feed Virgil. My heart wouldn’t be heavy mourning his big brother Virgil. My bank account would be fatter. No. “Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.”

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Journey 001 ~Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… In essence, I’m too stupid to leave and too stuck to move. Nope! I haven’t read “Beautiful Creatures.”

Why? Am I too lazy, Inspector Echo? Well, seeing as how I asked AI what to call this new year.

But things are getting heavy. Not “Heavy D & The Boyz” heavy. Was their music heavy at all? My playlist is heavier with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime.

“Waiting for Tonight,” M Anime sings to me by way of JLO. She’s waiting for her PTO, Inspector. But what about me? I’m waiting to fatten my boy up. My firstborn son, Braxton, weighed practically nothing when he started “The Long Walk” to his water bowl, the car, and finally along The Rainbow Bridge. And I won’t let Virgil follow his big brother, Inspector. “Heavy In Your Arms,” you ask. Well, I’m hand-feeding Virgil Vivi.

“For no particular reason, I just kept on going.”
Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump (1994)

I want his belly full and his head and heart not so heavy. But even if he gets up to follow me, where am I leading us? The first day of a new Journey. “Put One Foot in Front of the Other,” as Fred Astaire says. I have no choice in the matter, do I? I’ve got half a piece of chicken left along with half a biscuit. How did things get this bad, Inspector? How about I ask myself how I’m going to fix it, especially if M Anime and I are sharing nightmares.

Inspector, I swear that woman has my fingers light as a feather and my “Enormous Pen*s” stiff as a board or an iron rod. Iron Will, but going nowhere. SIGH.

I’m no knight in shining armor. “I ain’t much on Casanova. Me and Romeo ain’t never been friends,” either. But I have an angel coming down to me. And if M Anime becomes the stepmom to my boys, look at the stone around my castle? Ahem! I mean my Olds castle. I don’t own this castle. And I have no gold or jewels to speak of. Heaven help me if she goes Beyonce, put a ring on it. Heaven, “Dear Heaven,” Braxton’s weight is crushing.

I was barely keeping him up but with everything, Norton Antivirus, nothing in my accounts, and my negativity towards my “Lazy Ass,” thanks Brooms. I did my workouts in Pokémon gyms. Carry my cross, listening to Heavy “B’s Music, Virgil.

1613 Days Without B III, Day 1054 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 365 ~The B-Vs of Anniversaries~

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Happy Anniversary. Should I say that today or tomorrow? And what will tomorrow be? No more Meditations. I’m headed into my ninth year. I’m trying to get Virgil to five. His food’s here. No one’s stopping him. Love is here. “The B-Vs of Anniversaries”

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Meditation 365 ~The B-Vs of Anniversaries~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And when is our anniversary again? Do I have a Deathwish? I plead the 5th.

I didn’t want to start today, of all days, like this, my love. Sounding like MAGA. Eff MAGA always and forever. And FDT! But what about today? Meditation 365, beloved.

“Anniversary.” Who am I, Tony? Toni! Toné? I’ve been writing for going on 9 years. I can’t answer this question. Who am I? Your husband, lover, best friend. “My Love”

Where Is My Mind? We have our family. Our children. Two-legged ones at that. Dogdad? For my boys, Braxton and Virgil. “Always and Forever” Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night.” Always and Forever. And can we talk about this “Heatwave”? Hmm.

No, because I Just Can’t Stop Loving You. You’re mine. But my mind. Virgil’s mind. That’s where I am today.

Oh, and not looking in the mirror? I can’t tell you I’ll ever be one for a tux or any black-tie affair. Although black is my favorite color. And I’d always like to be ready for a funeral. In particular, my own. STOP IT! I hear you, baby doll; I really do. But speaking of dressing in black, what about my black skin? I took pictures of my “Enormous Pen*s.”

You know, as “Da Vinci’s Notebook” sings about. And while I’m pretty proud that my meat is murder… How many kids do we have now? I’m kidding. But I don’t understand how you can stand to look at me sometimes. I was walking with Virgil, and he looked so skinny yesterday. Like father, like son?

I have a heart after all to worry about him, so. And my soul is already condemned for B III. I won’t send Virgil to follow his Big Brother Braxton to the Rainbow Bridge. Which is why I was feeding him by hand last night. And there’s no Anniversary shenanigans.

Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas, Tales, and finally Meditations. Honestly, what will the next year bring? “Tomorrow,” If I were famous like Salif Keita.

“Lovin’ is what I got.” And ain’t that Sublime. I promised you “All Of Me.” Mind, body, and soul. But my mind, besides everywhere else, has been with my boys. I was ashamed of my body, like Winston in 1984. And my soul is lost between “The B-V’s of Anniversaries.”

1612 Days Without B III, Day 1053 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 364 ~I’ll B Back, Dad~

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All I wanted was a burger. It wasn’t like I could eat it. My stomach was doing flip-flops because I was so scared. Scared of what? A T-1000 is coming for me and Virgil. I haven’t felt safe about technology lately. If B III were here. I’ll B Back, Dad

Monday, June 30, 2025

Meditation 364 ~I’ll B Back, Dad~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… It’s not like I ever left you… Ok, alright, the food here is fantastic, so let me indulge some.

It’s not McDonald’s fries, which is why I’m here a day early. And the bad place you have to go to when you wake up. But I get to see it, ok, because I will be with you always, Dad.

“The Force will be with you, always.”
A New Hope

Star Wars? Jedi? You and I were always more like Sith Lords when it came to those movies. But as I sat beside Virgil this Sunday afternoon, he was so scared. And you were, too, Daddy. I mean, as frightened as I usually was when you took me for car rides. The benefits of being dead. I know that’s not funny. Do you want to call me a Force Ghost? Do you know what I really felt like? It was more Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

A T-800, Model 101, was sent to protect you. And yes, I know a machine reference is the last thing you want to hear; between Norton Antivirus and your nerves, you would always tell me I’m getting on. Only now, it isn’t me. It’s every noise from the glow boxes.

And the numbers. You keep telling my little brother, 2-V, that soon you’ll have nothing.

You want peace. And you have love, always for me. But Virgil, too. And how about my Favorite Girl? And now you have a girl of your own, Dad. V and I’s potential stepmom, M Anime. For her, you need wisdom and power. But right now, Dad, you need courage.

Do you remember my courage? I took “The Long Walk.”

Yes, I was scared, and I know you’re scared too. But I want you to remember who we are, Dad. I want you to remember the Dad you were whenever somebody tried messing with us. The Dad you were when the assistant store manager tried to insult my memory, Dad.

Be the man who found a way for me and my Favorite Girl to get along. You remember she and I didn’t always. But like father, like son. I liked comfy spots. She had yabbos.

Speaking of those, have the courage to make it until you can finally meet M Anime. Who knows… You’ll have the courage to love… She, my little brother, and some two-legged siblings that I’ll watch over. I’ll B Back, Dad.

“He’d never love anything more than getting obliterated.”
― Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
From ― Virgil, The Aeneid

1611 Days Without B III, Day 1052 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 363 ~When Braxton Kinged Virgil~

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My head hurts… I want to climb under the covers and put a pillow over my face. Not cool? Neither is my B III. Not being here to sit on my head. Or a pretty girl sitting on my face. Am I crass? I’m not a good man or a king. When Braxton Kinged Virgil.

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Meditation 363 ~When Braxton Kinged Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re willing your head to hurt. You don’t want to look at yourself. I didn’t either.

But it will be your curse for this week. Don’t worry, you only have to go out once or twice.

Day Job, Gas, Store… With what money? If you think you look bad, take a gander at your Day Job schedule. Better yet, take a peek at your bank account. Or how about B’s story?

Braxton is dead. That is the worst thing you’ve ever seen. He was so beautiful, even in death. No wonder you wanted to pack it in. Ah, yes, you needed some tears today. B III.

“You’re leaving me, Rainbow Girl.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Dreamfever

You’re neither a girl nor gay (nothing wrong with rainbows) nor a “happy” boy. But tears, sweat, lube, and what color is Capri Sun? Anyway, the clarity reveals everything. How I Failed Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Captive of the Beast Men: Monster Caveman Erotica, Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 045* No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And I’ve made things even worse for you. I wish I could have left you a Crown. Hell Crowns if we were talking about the Lords of the Realm II universe. You could use the gold right now. “I could really use a wish right now,” you’re telling yourself. The sky is falling down on you. “When the Stars Go Blue,” they fall, too. “Airplanes,” as well. “Don’t Look Up,” huh. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. You never asked for this. True.

You feel overwhelmed. Like you’ll overflow, and you want it all to be over. It’s your first day, and still, you’re carrying on with “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal,” right?

You’re no Teen Idle capable of doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 045* No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So what was Braxton thinking when he tapped his little brother, Virgil? He didn’t gain B III’s crown but a cross. Lay down his burden, “Down By The Riverside.” He needs to go “Down To The River To Pray.” Do dogs have knees… If 2-V had even that small mercy.

Speaking of somebody being on their knees, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Yes, you’re crude, a “Creep” in a Radiohead sort of way. And you want to cum as hard as that guy did in “Blow Slow Talin” from Reality Kings. A man of taste, I see. Nope!

You’re just a pretender. Long Live The King? On $11.00? Long Live The Prince. Because you lost your head long ago. When Braxton Kinged Virgil.

1610 Days Without B III, Day 1051 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 362 ~Virgil’s B Grades, Marks~

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Why am I so down today? I’m joining the club. A tick here or there was chowing down on my blood. It’s a good excuse to lie down for a while. Please, I’ve been down with joining Braxton for 1609 Days. If I had A’s, not F’s. “Virgil’s B Grades, Marks.”

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Meditation 362 ~Virgil’s B Grades, Marks~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you don’t have to be a genius to get that done. Or even very well-read.

Two things, Lady Lunalesca. One, I didn’t have to spend any money on a book today since I read “Captive of the Beast Men” by Kelli Wolfe. Two, I read that kind of erotic novella.

Cherry would be so proud. Oh, what happened to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime? Don’t worry, as Usher sings, I’m so “Caught Up” by her. But speaking of possible love, where are my loves, my boys, B and V? Braxton is still dead.

Do I REALLY need to put it like that? Euthanized, resides on the Rainbow Bridge…

Lunalesca, Virgil is right where he was yesterday. He’s lying at the foot of the bed; so much for me being a good father. F is for father. Nope. FAILURE!

And I do mean me, Lunalesca. M Anime and I have talked about children. But here’s something I haven’t told her, but I’m sure she would agree. My kids aren’t STUPID. I’ll say plenty about my boys, Braxton and Virgil, but they aren’t STUPID. I’ve had enough of that from my father. So much so that it has become true. I’m effing dumb. I’m dee, dee, dee. A walking d*ck thinking of nothing but dark, depraved debauchery. Desires in so many dirty words. Geez, why don’t I tell you how I really feel today? In a word, Lady Lu, ouch.

I feel like I got hit by a truck, and I’m blaming a tick bite and a black mark that’s appeared on my back. FAILING

I’m failing to take care of myself. Every day living is like one big “WARNING” from Stephen King’s “The Long Walk.” Every email, every “egad that hurts,” every ejaculation… Who was it for this time? Should I even count it? Was it Destiny, the maid? What about Violet Myers from OktoberBreasts? There’s always M Anime. She’s the future, I hope. But who could ever forget Cherry’s Yabbos? Having the two of them together. A Boricua and English woman. Even if schooling had been a porno movie, I still would’ve failed.

But now I’m looking up a history with Norton Antivirus? What does a tick bite do? How to make money writing. Didn’t I fail English, Spanish, French, and Braxton? There’s Virgil… Virgil’s B Grades, Marks

1609 Days Without B III, Day 1050 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 360 ~Stop At V, Braxton~

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I catch far too many Zs. And unless you’re talking about The Big Sleep… B III willing. He wouldn’t want that for me. I didn’t want that for him. But the sandman is a bunch of ashes in a box. Still, I write letter after letter. Stop At V, Braxton

Thursday, June 26, 2025

Meditation 360 ~Stop At V, Braxton~

1607 Days Without B III, Day 1048 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s 10:20 AM here, so… I doubt I’ll be meeting you at the bridge today.

Hell! Even if I got lucky, I doubt I’d be headed to the Rainbow Bridge. I know B. Bad dad.

Only “I Can’t Stop.” Who am I, Flux Pavilion? No. And I’m not Marina going around singing “Teen Idle.” But today, I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” I’ll see you…

Again, no. Not unless you wanted to meet me at the gates of Hell. And if only I would drown in my tears. I don’t know how to stop crying. I’m sure I cried every day for 161 days when I wasn’t leaking ‘other’ bodily fluids. Eww! But I’ve cried every day for the last couple of weeks at least. And today, while reading “Seven Days In June,” Shane said:

“I’m a person who doesn’t know when to stop.”
Seven Days in June, Tia Williams

Mourning, Writing, Lusting, Effing Up!

And speaking of writing, if you’re wondering why I’m late talking to you today. Yes, Braxton, I was busy editing your story “My Turn To B III.” You can thank your Favorite Girl, whom I had lunch with. There’s my Girl, too. You and V’s could be stepmom, M Anime.

Your Favorite Girl is my second-best friend. But M Anime is something else, you know.

She’s the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want.” And what am I? I put my firstborn son in a box.

I talked to Inspector Echo yesterday about not being a bee in the hive. And eff me, I’m an effing number to Norton. Because, as a ‘novelist,’ I can have every letter. Stopping at B.

Before being born, breathing, boobs.

Yabbos! We say yabbos around here. And you liked your Favorite Girl’s B. Not lying. Your honorary aunt has a great pair. I’m sure her wifey tells her all the time. And as far as M Anime. Seriously, I need to let you go before she gets here. NEVER! ACCEPTANCE? NEVER! We even talked about you, Braxton. If I ever Wifed her up for you and Virgil, and we had children. I’m naming a two-legged son after you. That’s why your little brother Virgil’s no reincarnation. You earned manhood “long ago, long ago, long ago.”

“I Turn Home.” Braxton, if I had my way, I would have stopped my Ma from making a mistake birthing me. But I’m here at V. Stop At V, Braxton.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

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I can’t say I’m another worker bee in the hive. Despite working on a book, taking care of Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, or basically getting out of bed. But there’s a beautiful girl; I want to honor B. If I keep buzzing… “B’s Are Helpful, Virgil”

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Meditation 359 ~B’s Are Helpful, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But is it helpful to be reminded of that today and every Sunday? The things I should do…

I should call Norton for one. I should be protecting myself. There are other jobs, Inspector. But instead, I’ll pop some painkillers. I could go all Lester Burman and say, “I was whacking off! That’s right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying ‘hi’ to my monster!” to some American Beauty. Choking the chicken to a Puerto Rican goddess. That would be Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. As long as Puerto Rico is still part of the U.S.A. Eff MAGA and FDT! I could also take a nap, Inspector Echo. However, the fact is that none of this would be helpful. I mourn Braxton.

Hell! I was editing Braxton’s book today, but how does that help? Bleeding, broken, broke.

I can read all about how if the bees go extinct, humanity is done. But what can I do, Echo?

I could have made B’s in school rather than D’s and F’s. Would my “life” be any better, Inspector? Could I have saved my Braxton? Or provide a better life for Little Virgil lying here. And what about any two-legged children that came along? Again, I think about M Anime. A woman who wants me, and I can’t even stand myself. My head hurts, Echo.

Braxton always had a way to make things better. At least less scary, Dear Inspector.

Didn’t I say FEAR is helpful? Currently, it’s overwhelming unless it’s going to take me to my boy. Death doesn’t scare me. But creating life.

M Anime called me a Demiurge yesterday. I always pictured myself more of a Necromancer type. But the knowledge that makes me feel good is a rarity. These days, most of what I know scares me. And then with the unknown, bullies, bills, bucks. But then there’s Boobs/yabbos, beauty, and always bed. These B’s are everywhere. Just like my boys

But then again, there’s no B in HELP, FEAR, or EXISTENCE because I failed, Inspector.

Life is “Bloodsport,” Inspector. But I’m not buff. “Where Is My Mind?” My brain. And again, the greatest B of them all. My son, my Braxton. This isn’t helpful, Inspector.

Breathing and buzzing. Yet hoping to sting M Anime her first time. Um, you know, me. B’s Are Helpful, Virgil.

1606 Days Without B III, Day 1047 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

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I wish I could afford an alcohol problem now. Hell, this morning, my lazy ass stayed in bed awhile and read about a girl sniffing Oxytocin. I want something to make me want to be awake or let me sleep. Sitting in the present as Virgil Takes Vitamin B

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Meditation 358 ~Virgil Takes Vitamin B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough that my first question, besides “Beast of Burden,” is, what does Vitamin B do?

And there I go, thinking about “Special K,” sigh. She was my maid once upon a time. And she was the one who told me about Vitamin B. Did I mention I have a maid fetish, My Love? We’ll get to that. The Vitamin B I want to talk about is furry and has four legs. And often looked at me like, “Forget your troubles and just get happy.” “Get Happy.” My Love, I only want to be less afraid. “Be Not So Fearful.” Here are three fears I have:

  1. Braxton’s Death, Virgil’s Life
  2. My Old Man’s Birthday
  3. Whatever Norton Is Saying

And right behind these things:

  1. Losing You My Love
  2. Losing All Our Money
  3. The Loss Of America

FEAR is my energy source, My Love. Scare me enough, and I take action. Everything I did while my firstborn son Braxton lay dying. I should say he was on “The Long Walk” because he was ready to die on his feet. Anyway, I was rubbing his little brother Virgil’s belly, and I panicked when I saw a TICK so close to his eye that I “saved” him from, babe.

And now we have today. And eff Norton! Well, I would rather eff you, My Love. Besides wanting and needing your “Sexual Healing.” What else would help me be unafraid?

Speaking of Sinestro becoming my favorite villain in DC. Darth Vader in Star Wars, ha! Hulk is my hero. Anger. Tony Stark, Iron Man. Wealth.

Sickness? Eww! But I want to be sick. As if I can get everything bad out of my body. Love?

“Stay With Me. Cause you’re all I need.” We can sleep, we can have sex. And you know how I sin. Sadism. I was thinking about all my kinks. It’s effed up that I think of losing Braxton, which is the greatest pain I’ve ever known. Then, as Billy Ocean put it, ‘You wake up, and Suddenly you’re in love.” That’s me next to you, wanting to give a dose of Vitamin D. More like “I want to effing tear you apart” Why? I want to feel better. No son (Uh, Virgil, our other children…) No sun. Just your Love. While Virgil Takes Vitamin B.

1605 Days Without B III, Day 1046 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will