Tag: Time

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I could find someone to cover… It’s the week of Black Friday. I could be a no-call, no-show. Of course, I’d call or go in and say I can’t. Humiliations Galore. I could have a heart attack from worrying about it, “Forty-One.” V Visits Because Braxton.

Thursday, November 20, 2025

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

1754 Days Without B III, Day 1195 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? There wasn’t a vet visit. The maid “Special K” didn’t come over. Your Favorite Girl?

You know the six months prior to her becoming your Favorite Girl. So much barking.

That’s what I’m going to do today, B III. I’m going bark, b*tch, and bu… Uh, TMI, my buddy. Sorry! And I did that over a pair of Asian girls I’ve been watching lately because…

Business, bucks, and who doesn’t like a good bukkake scene… Oh, that’s gross, I know.

But we men ain’t we B. We two, we three, counting your brother, Virgil. Who thankfully left me alone awhile… The food truck wasn’t here today. But what is here, my little one, is this. FEAR. I’m still freaking out. I believe in polite circles, it’s called a “Panic Attack.” So, not Braxton, I won’t be finding courage, and the crying is different—Daddy’s cowardice.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

It ain’t Depression. It’s FEAR. And I’m going to explain it like you were a person. Get it, B? Because people are STUPID. As Snake Plissken said, “Welcome to the Human Race.” B. And isn’t it IRONIC… don’t you think,” that it’s people I’m trying to avoid next week. So, am I going to tell you the story or not? I wish I weren’t so effing hungry, B III. Damn!

Ok, so next week I’m doing something called Return Drop. The critical part B, People.

I had a Panic Attack a few years back. You might have guessed, given that I came back to you early. Well, now it’s on the schedule. Black and white. Black Friday. No way out.

I have until Tuesday to escape my fate, Little B. Then I might be visiting unemployment because, as I was screaming at Inspector Echo yesterday. I CAN’T DO THIS! Braxton…

I’m afraid. I could always drop dead. You don’t know how often I wish for that. And yes, I know “it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it isn’t right. That sht is wrong.” But I’m not the “Head of State” either. Someone who can be scared shtless, sinful, skeevy, STUPID, and proud of it. I’m only a scared man who’s been visiting his Day Job for over a decade. And I believe I’ll be coming home to Virgil next week without a paycheck. It’s called a Panic Attack. V Visits Because Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 141 ~B Grateful For V~

WillLeave a comment

So many years ago, at my Day Job, I was asked to work the return station, and within minutes, I walked out. Now I’m on the schedule in black and white. Wendy’s tried that… Quit/fired. Arby’s? I never went back. My Day Job? B Grateful For V.

Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Journey 141 ~B Grateful For V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Why? Because I’m not grateful… Forty-One? How many years have I given to the Day Job? I’m afraid?

You’re goddamn right, I’m afraid, Inspector Echo. Did Quintus Arrius ask Ben-Hur, AKA “Forty-One,” if he was scared? What did it matter? Forty-One was enslaved. I’m not hmm. America, right…

I can quit, such is the great FEAR. Then I would be living in Cormac McCarthy’s book. “The Road.” Better that than what I’m being asked to do at the Day Job. We’ll get there, Inspector Echo. But while I’m bawling, I’d rather it be for my boys, Braxton, Virgil.

Inspector, if I could survive Braxton’s passing, I can survive anything. I should be telling myself, I’m So Thankful even to have the job of Daddy. Grateful, thankful, dogs, babies. I never feared it ending until one day, Braxton just wasn’t here anymore. And Thanksgiving?

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

In case you think this is awfully soon. It’s never too early or too late for FEAR, my dear lady Echo. So let me give you another one. FEAR of losing my everything, hmm? Braxton?

Inspector, what about the FEAR of dying alone? Besides counting my days at the Day Job, we’re heading into my third month after breaking up with M Anime. So STUPID.

Echo, I mean me. I never learn. Neither at the Day Job, being a DogDad, nor the yearnings of my wayward d*ck. Do you remember, Sweetness? One more hot-to-trot Latina.

Inspector, here I am after damn near stalking that girl to having my heart broken at Forty-One by a Puerto Rican woman. Every day we creep closer to January, Inspector.

Only let’s focus on today; no more on the 26th and 28th. WTF is Return Drop! Please, I know now! Because this morning I was begging like a b*tch to get out of it, Inspector.

Those thirteen hours are going to cost me my Day Job, Echo. Wendy’s? Cashier? People?

I can’t do this at my retail job, Inspector. Let me repeat that. I CAN’T DO THIS! So what’s next? I can be grateful for the wasted years of my life, Echo. Lanyard, Badge, Goodbye.

That’s on top of the Humiliations Galore that I experienced today. Virgil hasn’t said anything. Uh, being a dog. I’m The Running Man, Lieutenant Barclay, The Vault Dweller/Sole Survivor, The Walking Dead, Forty-One, a scared man… B Grateful For V.

“Being afraid all of the time, of forgetting somebody’s name, not, not knowing… what to do with your hands. I mean, I, I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there’s a party. And then, when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable, examining a potted plant.

You’re just shy.

Just shy… Sounds like nothing serious – doesn’t it? You can’t know.”
Star Trek TNG: Hollow Pursuits

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1753 Days Without B III, Day 1194 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

WillLeave a comment

Do or do not, there is no try. Tried being a Dad. B III made it to 15. V hasn’t been 5 for a whole month. Tried being a boyfriend. M Anime left as I couldn’t afford two-legged babies. I would have tried. Tried like me? Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s it, or that’s it? I’m not a Beatle, though I’ve seen plenty flying around.

Beetles, bucks, and nice boobs, rather Yabbos. It’s hard to reject them, resist them, and remember them all. Braxton knows I tried… Or Lord knows I tried, —my Sweet Lord.

Love, I like the song, but don’t care much for the entity. I tried that, my father, high school, and while Braxton lay dying. And that’s how I feel today. Like I’m dying right here.

That’s not cool to tell you, is it? We could go around each other all day asking if love makes you feel dead or gets you through the day, “awake and alive.” Ah, Mr. Gabriel.

As in Peter Gabriel… As opposed to other “Silly Love Songs.” You’ve had enough, love?

I’m trying to give more. “I wish it from myself.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Songbird? The original Fleetwood Mac or Santana to Brittany from Glee? You know that makes me feel a particular kind of way, love. If anything gets me out of “Loser Like Me” ideas, it’s a lady like you and one of your lady friends. Too many harem books, my love?

You’ll be the only mother of my children. And yes, we should try for more. But if I ever get Jacob, Grayson, Eddie, or Ethan’s coin… All the haremlit. And I’m a good Dad. Sigh.

That, of course, goes for my furry boys as well, Braxton and Virgil. How can I be better for them? Virgil deserves better? And Braxton definitely knows I can be better. Real good. The best. Like I’m in “The Warriors.”

And this is where the rubber meets the road, my love. I have to learn to love myself. And that’s not me being negative again. It’s a fact. But I have an honest-to-Braxton question about that, my love. Where do I begin? Not only “Once In A Lifetime,” I ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?” “When Will My Life Begin?” You know, I’m trying… No, ever better beloved.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” Life is a series of tries, my love. But sometimes you can only try once and then… Well, we’re here. I have one wife. Always and forever.

That’s you. I’m telling the man in the mirror, that “I will TRY to FIX YOU.” Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die (1998)

1752 Days Without B III, Day 1193 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s day-to-day for me. Is it the silence or the noise that scares me more? The alarm clock, 2-V crying, and everyone asking me why I wasn’t playing DJ today. Or B III’s loss, my sleeping, and the augmenting of reality… Braxton, A NOISY Virgil.

Monday, November 17, 2025

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not just noise, not the sniff, sniff of my nose, or in other words, breathing. Not nothing or never.

But your son. Though right now, to you at least, I sound like the Can You Hear Me Now” guy from Verizon. That was one of the great things about us, Dad. You talk a lot about how Virgil has my eyes but our ears. Scary, sleepy, satisfied, whatever we heard, everything and then some. And then there was the silence. We were safe, Daddy.

Honestly, how do you feel after today? We’re talking over “The Weeknd” ha-ha because today, well… What could I tell you that you would believe? Steve, Bob Marely, and I.

I want to say that “every little thing is gonna be alright.” “Everything is gonna be okay,” like Blue’s Clues.

I remember Steve from Blue’s Clues. Pokémon. I would sit in your lap as you played video games. The wonders of the glow box. You even did the Dad thing and said it would rot my brain when you left it on when you went somewhere. The bad place? Negativity.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I won’t add to that noise, Daddy. If anything, one of the best sounds in the world spent in front of the glow box was you, me, and my Favorite Girl watching movies together. Dad?

Next to you, hearing how I would call to you without a sound. It was your breathing, the beat of your heart. The being you, not just with me but with her. Second Favorite person…

Yeah, that wasn’t family. But I hope you hear when I say this. My father…

You are my person, my human, my Dad, definitely my Favorite Boy. And today Dad…

You’re still breathing, you’re alive. That’s the noise I long to hear on days like this one, Dad. Is it better when Sia sings it? “Alive?” It’s not like you got to listen to it at the bad place, right? As you would say, that’s not negativity; it’s simply the truth. And you are here, Dad. But if I were there in that bad place with you, I’m sure that my barking would have stopped anyone from asking you anything to hurt you. And Virgil wants to cover one of your ears as you have an AirPod in the other. There’s noise and what’s worth listening to. And what is that? Braxton, A NOISY Virgil

“You’re a special person to the universe in ways I don’t think you know.”
― Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton

“A hideous noise of shouting rose to the heavens as young men fought and fell under the iron hand of Mars.”
From ― The Aeneid

1751 Days Without B III, Day 1192 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Even Jesus said, “It is finished.” Then again, what do I know? “War, war never changes?” I’ve done some pretty effed up things. And in the words of Rambo, “Nothing is over! Nothing!” And I’m not done. Braxton, Boobs, Books. It’ll B Done, Virgil.

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wish today’s question were this. Did ancient Egyptians use contractions? The Mummy? “The Mummy Returns?

I go to see one movie, and next thing you know, a bunch of other stuff comes out for sure.

Fifty bucks! Thirty-five for “The Running Man”: a small popcorn and a blue raspberry Icee. Ha! And another fifteen at the food truck. What is left for you? Apologies friend.

Honestly? The best favor I could’ve done you didn’t get done. More FEAR, less funds.

Seriously, you’re effed! But you have your sons, Braxton and Virgil, new sins, and sleep. Well, not today, since you still need to eat, which means a trip to the store is in order, friend. What have you been doing with all your time? Is “Whiteout Survival” that damn serious? Oh, and finishing Bikini Magic. Eight minutes. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

You have to get back into the habit of being positive. Do you remember that game “Two Truths and a Lie?” You’re a positive person. You miss M Anime. And you’re not a good man. Too easy, but I am sorry I’m coming down on you. Twelve hours. Nothing done.

MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and the president are so much worse. FDT, always and forever.

You would be a much more benevolent ruler. Quite the pharaoh, if you will. And leave it to X\Twitter to show you that there are lines you won’t cross. Evils that must be opposed. And that’s why you’re looking at me and I at you. When, oh when, my lord?

Tomorrow, my “Sweet Lord?” You playing DJ? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You think the LOD won’t be letting you do that again. One more reason Monday is going to suck big time. You want it to be over and done with already. Hell, you wish it was done before we even met. That’s why you lounged around in bed. Again, Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic,” a full-out warring on the phone, and ten bucks on yabbos. Any yabbos, which is an effed up way to play people. You want to be done. E-Day, B’s passing, M’s leaving. And like I said yesterday, you’re standing, “Stand by Me.” You’re on “The Long Walk.” I get to sit down. Now you have to run. You’re “The Running Man” today.

Nothing is done! Until next week… It’ll B Done, Virgil

“Everything is done.”
Michael Townley

1750 Days Without B III, Day 1191 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

WillLeave a comment

I crawled out of bed, I walked Virgil, I ran to feed him, and I was standing in front of my phone while I… Do I still have an OnlyFans for that? Anyway, I have no idea where I’m going. The story of my life. While Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs.

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… However, I was reminded that Katy Perry and others paid $27 million to take a ride.

Thank you @illyashojaei. If spending three minutes makes Katy an astronaut, then I’m a gynecologist. Not that I’ll be seeing M Anime’s lady parts in the flesh anytime soon.

Honestly, I haven’t thought about “my ex” much. And instead of dreaming about Anime’s yabbos or Mars Bitches, red rocks Yay yayee! Too much YouTube this morning, my Dear Lady Lunalesca. If it helps, I’m not in bed and that’s what I’ve been dreaming about, ha.

Oh, and somebody was talking about having a movie marathon of “Stand by Me,” “The Long Walk,” and “The Running Man.” Stephen King, goddamit! I’m such a potty mouth today.

I hate being late, my dog/son Braxton, “my Day Job,” and getting away from Depression.

“Don’t Take It Personal” Lunalesca.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Just One Of Dem Days” And “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” But most importantly…

Lunalesca, I’m stuck. FEAR! Sometimes it’s the most sinful, or the STUPIDEST, and at others it’s the simplistic. I’ve had the whole week off, and you know what I’ve been thinking about at the Day Job? The speaker. If I play DJ again, there’s pressure, and if I don’t, then guess what? It means I effed up and somebody else does. So what happens next?

Humiliations Galore! And it’s like the fifth of November all over again with that girl.

Richards Lives! So does Virgil. And even my Braxton, in a heavenly sort of existence.

Lunalesca, I can’t just be a body. I must continue The Long Walk. Always, forever…

Seriously, I feel like The Running Man. And what’s my crime? What’s my prize?

Lunalesca? Friendship? Virgil and I are still working on that. It’s nothing like B III, okay.

I keep walking, but there is no finish line. Braxton and I got the wrong ending. I would have gladly sat down for him. But then again, Futurama “Jurassic Bark.” I’d say it broke my heart. I didn’t know heartbreak until Braxton’s… Which is why I took M Anime’s betrayal…

And I feel like I’m always running. Only then to ask myself why I’m tired. I gave Braxton his wings, and at least Virgil knows what he’s running from. As for myself, Dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m wanking, walking, and whining. Winning? Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs

1749 Days Without B III, Day 1190 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 135 ~Braxton and Virgil Repair~

WillLeave a comment

The fix is in… Nope. Nothing is changing for me today. Well, other than having to break up a paycheck in two since I didn’t work this week. Breaking open a bag of dog food for V. And breaking the bank to see The Running Man. Braxton and Virgil Repair

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Journey 135 ~Braxton and Virgil Repair~

1747 Days Without B III, Day 1188 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine? Ahem. “There is no love here, and there is no pain. Every day…” Blah.

I do like that song “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.” But I find myself wanting to shout that MAGA battle cry of “I don’t want reality!” And you remember, when I would come back from the Day Job, either we’d be too busy catching our breaths walking or stuffing our faces to talk. Then came napping, and then and only then could you “Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.” What sound am I running from today? All or none, pick one B III.

“When you’re too in love to let it go,” M Anime, you, V, the Man in the Mirror on Sunday.

I can’t fix this in 150 words or less. I’m sorry, B III. I ask others to allow me yaboos/boobs, so allow me to boo-hoo.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Today, I’m sad. Well, every day I’m sad, but I feel it more this morning. But how to fix it?

Even when Braxton was here and Virgil is here now, I didn’t know how. And maybe I should stop watching those, let’s say, “Alpha men” videos before bed, and dreaming? Honestly, Braxton, last night I had the most racist dreams, and I don’t know whether to blame MAGA or Tony Weaver Jr. It took me forever to find his name, B III. And why ha!

I only remember him screaming out, “GET SOME THERAPY.” Would that fix me, B III?

You didn’t know your Daddy back then. I was psychoanalyzed up the yin yang. And it didn’t take, B III.

I found courage with you; cash didn’t matter because it was you. And some P.Y.T.’s c*nt… Must I be so crass? What can I say, I’m feeling mean. Anyway, you like your favorite girl. And M Anime and I didn’t become a thing until four years after you left us.

So she’s more Virgil’s problem, and he can’t fix that. And nothing can fix me. Only that could be a lie. As I sit here thinking about going to see “The Running Man” tonight, B.

Yeah, you hated movie nights outside the house. Just me and your favorite girl. Jealous?

No, just hurting. “Guess we’re one in the same.” But you’re not broken anymore, Braxton.

I’m just broke—no hours for Braxton and Virgil Repair.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 134 ~The I’s, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The I’s have it that I should wake up in the morning. MAGA is seeing to it that I don’t have a vote anymore. I prefer listening to my boys, B and V, anyway. But being Chihuahuas, they’d get deported. For now, I see family. “The I’s, Braxton, Virgil.”

Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Journey 134 ~The I’s, Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And yes, the clock does read 9:47 AM. If only Braxton were here to sit on my head.

Have I mentioned Virgil has been creeping up to the pillow during the night? But what got me up this morning besides some BLONDE’S yabbos, an Asian Lady BEETLE, and worrying about BUCKS. My boys’ eyes. Braxton looks at me, “Through Heaven’s Eyes” these days. Virgil’s eyes are confusing, but are surrounded by Braxton’s coloring.

Honestly, my eyes… One more reason I’m still here and not “Laughing With God,” Echo.

As Regina Spektor sings, “the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes.” Braxton is always watching, and Virgil. We should both close our eyes to avoid seeing the messes we’ve made. And yet there are the magic glasses and hitting the mattress to dream our lives away. How to spin this?

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, first, there’s the augmentation of reality or AI, from movies to music and manuscripts. If treated as the tool it should be, it could do good. I mean, every day I get to put B and V together with some pretty girl. But then there’s a digital Johnny Sins.

Speaking of books, at least I’m still reading Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton. I’m not being negative, Inspector, but only telling the truth. M Anime wants that life and children.

Sometime in January, she’s marrying a Cuban man, and she’ll be his third wife. Uh, he still has the first two. Personally, if I had the money, I’d choose the harem lifestyle. My dream, E.

We’ll get to that. Being awake though… These magic glasses…

“I Think To Myself,” as if I’m “Top Choice Clique,” that I can change the world to fit my narrative. I might as well join MAGA and the Cracker Hats. But FDT! I at least want to help people. I believe I will make the world better as soon as I reach for these glasses.

Seriously, though, it’s not wrong to tell the truth either. So I would rather be sleeping right this second. Every footstep I take is like being on The Long Walk. Every time my fingers hit the keys, I imagine I’m a prisoner/slave in 1993’s “Posse: The Revenge of Jesse Lee.”

“Let That Hammer Fall.” Ha-ha, the only time I’m not lost to the music. Eyes closed. The I’s, Braxton, Virgil.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1746 Days Without B III, Day 1187 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

WillLeave a comment

I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son