Tag: Time

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Another early morning, another book. Three bucks for a thirty-page book? And how many books have I written about a woman taking her clothes off? What about B’s book? That was out in August, and here I have no Day Job hours or sales. Tao Of B, Virgil.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Which reminds you, go and pick up some soap, have a shave, and forget who she is.

You know, the woman who has you looking up Taoism. Religion on a Sunday morning…

Before the Asian woman, it was “Polly & Her Boss,” because “Lord, Heaven’s above” you finish “Bikini Magic” by Michael Dalton. And Kelli Wolfe’s “Dark Desires” wasn’t available on Amazon this morning. It could be worse—nothing on pet bereavement.

Honestly, “I’m only human after all. Don’t put your blame on me,” or you today. Music and manuscripts, so “Just a day, just an ordinary day.” And you’re saying to yourself, “I’m just an ordinary human.” It’s some people you can’t say that to anymore, and I’m sorry about that. Not to sound psychotic but less people equals more peace. And with this coming week. Depression and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Polly & Her Boss (Collage Girl Erotica) by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Oh, you’re going to need all of the words now, I must say. The song today is all about you.

As in “All About You” song by Jeymes Samuel. As if they’re ever going to let you control the speaker in the stockroom ever again with your playlist… Really, why is this at the forefront of your mind? Music is meant to bring you peace, except with other people, ha.

And that’s your problem. People? You are not one of the people. Even in this place, you were one person before Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then you became a different person—one before Saturday, August 13, 2022, and then another. Before Sunday, August 24, 2025… Now you’re different again.

And now you’re thinking about M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re existence is not natural or harmonious. “I’ve been let down. I’ve been turned around. I’ve been misused and so confused.” And you will be too. Even though you have no hours and all you have is Virgil. Not that you’re blaming him. He’s a good boy, little 2-V. But blocking out the noise, the tick of the clock, tiny bug feet, and tinkling finances. Even your motivations are sorely confused, you even have to toil, trust the process, or trust what will flow to you. A little bit of everything. Today, this week, what will you do, hmm? Chase the rabbits or grow the garden. Meditate better to Levitate with a woman or join Braxton. Tao Of B, Virgil

1743 Days Without B III, Day 1184 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

WillLeave a comment

I remember my son, B, for living his best life and then the worst day of mine. All the bad things he did. Nothing compares to Sunday, January 31, 2021. How’s V bad? I have to clean his bed, then he’s sleeping in mine. “Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys”

Saturday, November 8, 2025

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not Martin Lawrence or Will Smith. Me. Don’t I wish. And what did I wish for?

Yesterday, the words were, “I wish I had never been born.” That statement still stands.

And speaking of standing, I don’t want to do much more of that either. You don’t get paid to stand around. Is that what I was doing at my Day Job? I didn’t get any hours next week. I had to double-check to ensure that someone else was not doing just as badly. Ok, how MAGA of me. I sound like a damn Cracker Hat. Someone has to lose Lunalesca.

Today it feels like me. And what about my boys? Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s sleeping, Lu.

And that’s bad. I wish I could tell you that I’m worse. 150-Word Depression, Lunalesca.

I have to make up for yesterday. With that said…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feeling bad means that at some point, you were “Feeling Good” in a Nina Simone, George Michael sort of way. I’m sitting here trying to remember the last good day.

Lunalesca, I lack the day but the feeling. I was at the food truck yesterday, and when the lady saw me, she smiled and immediately asked, “You want the fried shrimp? It beats being called Ma’am at any and all drive-thrus. That’s not me being negative, it’s the truth and nothing more. With nothing but some wings and shrimp in the fridge, I’ll head out.

A burger, maybe, or how about some tacos? I haven’t spent my grocery money, Lunalesca. Groceries, see, I can say it better than the Orange Turd owning the White House.

My boys are better men than him and all of MAGA. And Virgil has more sense than I give him credit for… Messing up his bed so he can come in here and sleep next to me. I mean, that is a plan. And I could use one of those, or “I could really use a wish right now,” Lunalesca. And there was a time I wanted to fly “Airplanes.” But being a bad boy.

I write of dirty, depraved, and disgusting worlds… And I’m pretty proud of it, Lunalesca.

Better to get the bad out of me than to let it fester into… Well, things the Cracker Hats do. I raised two bad boys into good men, well, doggos: me, Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys.

1742 Days Without B III, Day 1183 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be tired. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to wake up without fear. And I forgot about happiness way before I turned Forty-One. But I remember I am alive. 2-V lives, and B showed me how to. Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

1740 Days Without B III, Day 1181 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine, you ask? Combine The Long Walk with losing M Anime, and what’s for dinner?

I saw the schedule for next week, so that last thing is going to be a B*tch. I remember when “Yorkie” Greta would come after you. Hungry Like The Wolf, my dear Mr. B III.

Today, as I fought low blood sugar at the Day Job, I thought about what we remember and what we forget. Yes, I mourn you every day. But what about M Anime? She was easy.

No, not like that. I mean, years of friendship and potentially making M your stepmom…

Thrown out like the trash. What made me so forgettable? And last night I repeated that prayer from Red Dawn. I wish I could forget being born. You wish I’d forget such an idea, but Depression over… 150-Word Cap. Sigh…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Memories of things that never happened. These are always the hardest to forget.”
Thomas Dolby

I wish I could forget the day you left B. Hell! I wish I could forget that whole damn week!

That’s not me being negative, but honest. Again, at the Day Job, there is a song that’s constantly playing. Pink and not Mariah Carey; Cover Me In Sunshine vs. All I Want For Christmas Is You. Cover Me In Sunshine is everything I want to remember about us, B III.

“Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright.”
Pink

I want to remember how you lived, not just your last moments. Living, not dying.

Remember the Memories? Clone High was before your time, but I watched it with you.

Off topic, I know. But I want to remember hearing you when I found your little brother Virgil at PetSmart. He wants to remember me.

It’s one of the reasons Virgil has been so cuddly lately. And when he cries, I have to call to him to come into the room. I’m sure he still smells you, B. Your bed is still in your spot.

And what about my spot? Am I still “augmenting reality” seeing who I am? Really? Yesterday and today, my side hustle is making a little bit of change. Gentlemen, Braxton?

We were not. Again, honest. But you were/are a better man than me. Remember that!

Braxton, short of your life, I want to remember your courage. How to LIVE BRAVE!

Braxton, I want to remember what it was like to not be afraid. Forgetting FEAR? Honestly, “Gee, I’m not sure.” Yet, Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

WillLeave a comment

Was Slowpoke a Slowpoke? How old was I when Pokémon came around? Hell, I was way too old to be singing to Braxton “Together Forever.” He was my little Pokémon. And his brother, Virgil? I’m still the old man here. “Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.”

Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Journey 127 ~Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Or I’m crazy—split personalities and the like. There was the time before my boy, after, and now.

Three different men… Or more. And yet I wonder why I’m so sleepy, why “I feel STUPID,” and slow in a variety of ways. You can ask the Visual Lady at the Day Job. It’s why I was late, “Coming Home,” to Braxton’s little brother Virgil. He’s pretty bored, E.

And me? “I’ve been Takin’ Care Of Business.” I had another customer, Inspector Echo.

Only if I keep this up, I’ll end up like some MAGA Cracker Hat, P. Diddy, or some other ilk. No, Inspector, I have morals, a mission statement, as it were, and making money is a wonderful thing. So why am I all “Carmen Queasy?” Because I don’t feel safe anymore.

There is so much FEAR. I FEAR I’m too slow.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But I made it out of school, didn’t I? And every day I’m learning more. I read every single day. “I’m So Thankful” that I got to keep my reading streak. No, I don’t consider reading Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic” a sin. The harem aspect reminds me of M Anime.

And speaking of her and my son Braxton, I had all the time in the world. Braxton reached the ripe old age of fifteen. And the stories that M Anime set into motion could set me for life if I could add them to my side hustle. I mean, it is November. NaNoWriMo? Ah, memories.

Then there’s Virgil. I have another chance to be a DogDad. Another opportunity to pass on the teaching Inspector Echo.

I sound like the Shidoshi Tanaka from the movie Bloodsport. That’s what living is, Echo.

That’s not negativity, it is a fact of life: one big arena or Kumite. And I’ll be the victor E.

That almost became Virgil’s middle name. Virgil Victor. Instead, it’s Virgil Vivi for FF IX. You remember Vivi, the Black Mage. That’s how I’ve been feeling with my side hustle.

What and not like Ben-Hur/Forty-One (Cue Galley Drums). Again, I’m not being negative; I am being factual. It comes with trying on a bunch of hats. Not MAGA! Never MAGA!

The Dems kicked MAGA Ass last night! But anyway, I was thinking about this quote from Red Dawn. I think too much. But I’m a man. Slowpoke, Braxton. Virgil, Pokémon.

“And as we remember… please let them forget, O Lord… so they can be little again.”
Danny, Red Dawn (1984)

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1739 Days Without B III, Day 1180 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Did that just happen? My boy, breathing his last. That song from the Foo Fighters, playing on my phone at the Day Job? And nowadays the big question is this. Is that AI? If you see Braxton and Virgil together at any point, yes. To B Real Virgil.

Monday, November 3, 2025

Journey 125 ~To B Real Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you? You’re not you when you’re hungry. Snickers? I remember one Halloween… Snickers, M&M’s, Twix… Everything in between.

Don’t worry, you were doing right by me. “Protecting” me… I wish you had let me protect food like that more often. Then, of course, came Thanksgiving. Grandma shared more.

Speaking of sharing, you would do a lot of that as well in November. Good times. Lying under the table as you worked on something called NaNoWriMo. Books. My Books.

Daddy, I’m really there, aren’t I? “I’m here, I’m there, I’m everywhere, but you can’t catch me now.” Olivia Rodrigo’s “Can’t Catch Me Now?” Tomorrow, today’s playlist with whatever happens at the bad place. I don’t know whether I envy Virgil or pity him, Dad.

On one paw, he’s waiting for you, while I’m with you always. But here’s there, fur and all, your son.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And I am your son, always and forever. That’s what you’ve been thinking about, Daddy.

What makes me and Virgil real. We’re “The Boys.” You’ve never watched the show, but Virgil and I are that. Realer and truer, “so warm and true” that we beat out M Anime for sure. As you say, my father, that’s not negativity but simply stating a fact. That happened.

But no matter what happened between then and now, when it comes to me and my brother, “It’s Only Love.” A Heather Nova song? Again, you find me in everything.

Daddy, didn’t you make two whole playlists for me? I remember when I wasn’t barking, sometimes you would sing to me. I am my father’s son. I learned well enough.

Even with no opposable thumbs, which brings us here. My barks and your fingers. Hell, call me your better nature, your mother effin’ Conscience. I know, Dad, I know, watch my words—the Consequences of being your son, the Consequences of being a good man.

Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?
Dennis Lehane, Shutter Island

Because you’re not MAGA! You won’t be a Cracker Hat. You have knowledge and truth.

We don’t erase, evict, or eviscerate a “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” that’s our history.

I’m not the son of a Preacher Man. And people who knew me would sing “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” “I never yielded! And as you can see, I am not dead!” Well…

Anyway, your plans on bringing me back… Daddy, just be real. To B Real Virgil.

“You have been touched by great sorrow. You understand its many aspects. It can bring a form of comfort or torture. It can only exist where there is some amount of hope, and sorrow is the evidence that something precious was lost from the world.”
Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacob

“Wherever Fate may lead us, whether on or backward, let us follow.”
― The Aeneid

1737 Days Without B III, Day 1178 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I was on time today… 5 AM turns to 4 AM. I still got up late after reading around 80% of Backyard Dungeon 22. Does that shut down the series? The UK editions? I wish I could shut my eyes on a more permanent basis, but “When Braxton Shut Down, Virgil”

Sunday, November 2, 2025

Journey 124 ~When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I shut down an hour earlier… later… whatever. Daylight Saving Time ended. And you’re still annoyed.

An extra hour of sleep, and for what? A lie you didn’t have to tell. But you will finish “Backyard Dungeon 22” before the sun goes down today. And you’ll even order that Hot Honey Magnifico pizza. If you do something right for a change, but here you are. Please!

Yesterday was it, or sometime last week anyway, I was talking about the boys, bucks, and big boobs/yabbos. Do you have the bucks for pepperoni? Do you have the time?

That’s the thing about today. You’re so WOKE, and you’re “Wide Awake” to count fails.

Two so far, but again, you’ll finish Logan Jacobs’ book. But shutting down sounds nice. You’d join B but leave 2-V. That’s not right, and neither are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 22, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Let’s start with something small. “Your Eyes?” Wasn’t that one of Peter Gabriel’s best-known songs? But “This Is Your Life”, not Switchfoot’s… Okay, enough kidding. What you’re thinking is, you shouldn’t shut your eyes this afternoon. Always and forever, B.

Honestly, you knew just what to say. “Don’t Let Me Get Me,” as Pink sings. However, without an afternoon nap, you could open the fridge and find something for lunch. You could check and see if you have money for that pizza. The shower curtain opens to, you know that.

Because comedy comes in threes, you could finish Backyard Dungeon 22. There are also the book samples that have been tempting you. Read like you did when the boys rested with you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Decided
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Open up your ears to the good rather than anything else. Books/audiobooks and music are meant to expand the world, not shield you from it… A time and a place. But you keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s “Magic Glasses.” See and hear good things, brother.

Honestly, open yourself up to more time. Anything and everything can shut down. But while you’re on your musical kick, “Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’ slippin’ into the future.” Seal or the Steve Miller Band? One more thing you need to make time for, hmm?

A playlist for the Day Job, perhaps. Have faith. Better, have a heart. It did not shut down when Braxton left because Virgil is here. What was activated afterward? A soul? When Braxton Shutdown, Virgil

1736 Days Without B III, Day 1177 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 123 ~Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

V is my son. I chose him. And I wouldn’t give him up for anything. Paperwork, cash, I lifted him out of his cage… But B is still here. At the same time, I want him back. Is reincarnation real? Science should speed up. AI? Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil

Saturday, November 1, 2025

Journey 123 ~Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Don’t I wish. Right now, I would settle for a Big Mac Meal. That’d be dumb.

But I am me. What? I’ll be all positive after my 150-Word Depression, alright, Lunalesca?

Now speaking of knowing me. What are three things I care about in this existence?

Braxton, well, both my boys actually, Braxton and Virgil, some chick’s boobs/yabbos, and bucks. Or should I say my wee ones, again B III and 2-V, women’s yabbos, and wealth. And what about everything else, the world? The world is yours, I saw on Scarface.

But how do I see the world? I woke up this morning… And what, got yourself a gun? For B, when he was here, to protect us. But he’s been gone four long years, and that’s what I’ve been thinking about, always and forever. And how to bring him back…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

First, I figured if I had enough money… I still have B’s bed, ashes, and a bag of his fur. And “I’m still alive. Must have been a miracle.” How’s that for me being positive? But Braxton wasn’t frozen or cloned. If anything, “The future is coming on.” “My future.”

Then I was reading a lot about resurrection and reincarnation. And that’s how I found Braxton’s little brother Virgil. Smart enough to use a training pad, hanging out again with chicks that had large yabbos. But “The truth is in the eyes ‘Cause the eyes don’t lie, amen,” Lady Lu. Not just within, but the two bits of tan/beige fur on both sides, Braxton’s shade.

I want to look at myself through those eyes forever.

With perfect love and perfect trust? Magic? And isn’t the Day of the Dead tomorrow?

Now it could be that between quoting “The Craft,” rereading, or listening to the Succubus Lord series for the umpteenth time. I’m reading Backyard Dungeon 22. And I’ve been thinking about the other Succubus series by A.J. Markam. Anyway, if I could practice magic, I’d want to study Necromancy or Portal Making. Finding little Braxton?

Halloween was yesterday, but while I was augmenting reality. And boning up on the AI craze. I started thinking I could bring back my Braxton digitally. To have both of my boys on screen at the same time, Lunalesca. It’d be less trouble. This picture: Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~ Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil

1735 Days Without B III, Day 1176 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What am I going as for Halloween? Someone the lady in the food truck likes. I spend $15.00 there weekly. Someone who can walk around the Day Job, dead to the world, without getting fired. Someone too low to be on the radar… “Braxton Says Boo Virgil.”

Thursday, October 30, 2025

Journey 121 ~Braxton Says Boo Virgil~

1733 Days Without B III, Day 1174 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What would make my day better? Braxton, I’m living as a zombie, not a ghost.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost. And that ain’t you, Braxton. You’ll always and forever be my son. Only you can’t have chocolate. Oh yeah, Halloween is tomorrow. Scary time!

Honestly, that’s the time between my eyes opening and closing 365 days of the year.

Seriously, it sucks living in FEAR, haven’t you heard? That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. What have I heard? I miss hearing your nails tapping through the hall.

Braxton, I’ve been reading Backyard Dungeon 22… That’s as Halloweeny as I’m going to get. But I keep thinking about Neil Bimbeau’s The Magic Glasses books. And I keep hearing a voice saying, “You’re not that man.” I’m not a positive one either. But for Halloween, I have to be.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So, how does one dress up as silence? I mean, you wear it well, Braxton… I didn’t mean that negatively. I was trying to make a joke. TikTok doesn’t get my jokes either, B III.

That’s why I was smart enough to ignore all the comments when I sent that photo of you and Virgil in the classroom. Again, being honest, I don’t think you and V were the issue.

I want to be as silent as my eyes or some woman’s rolling to the back of their head in the throes of passion. We’re speaking as men aren’t we B. “Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, “cause we men, ain’t we?” Shouldn’t we watch a horror movie?

Movie night? Where’s the candy?

As a matter of fact, where’s the doorbell? It will be a Silent Night for us and little 2-V, too.

The three of us value silence, especially when watching the 1989 film Glory. What about 2014’s Selma? I’m only thinking about quiet things to do on a Halloween night. This one’s long—every single night.

I appreciate the silence at my Day Job. And what about my other endeavors? Grok could silently “repair” itself and return to its normal state. I’ll lose myself again, but it’s better to type out words than talk to your brother. You know what I mean. I don’t want to scare Virgil. Just being me.

Silently, he’s started cuddling close. Silence looked best through your eyes, and I saw someone in them I didn’t hate anymore. Braxton Says Boo Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not afraid of dying. How I might die… Sure. Not the act. The Day Job is getting ready for Christmas. I forgot that “This Is Halloween.” And if I could go as anything. I’d want Braxton’s brave face or Virgil’s sleeping one. Being Braxton Or Virgil

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And in the spirit of complete transparency, I’m going to sin some more. What am I, a ghost?

I’m a father who misses his son—a dad who can’t figure out the other one. And I ain’t a liar like the Cracker Hats of MAGA and all of the Trump Administration. FDT, Echo.

Anyway, as Edmond Dantes screams, “What’s my crime!” Screaming, my dear Inspector Echo. It took me putting up Christmas ornaments at the Day Job to remember that “This Is Halloween,” well, on Friday. And I keep getting off-topic —forgive me. I only have 150 words to be sad, sinful, and scary. So my sin… I’m sharing my fears as “Opportunities.”

But I’m not the “Pet Shop Boys” despite my two sons, Braxton and Virgil. Inspector? Today I wondered, would I rather be Frankenstein… Resurrecting Braxton. Or a Ghostbuster. Imprisoning Virgil.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because death doesn’t frighten me, correction, my death doesn’t. This is not negativity but a fact. I suffered the loss of my firstborn son. And my second-born’s alive and well. So what FEAR am I facing again? The FEAR to LIVE. Without Braxton, Virgil, FEAR.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. President

Inspector, it’s a wonderful thing that I can quote a good president. Another fact, FDT! Anyway, what else is there to life? Cliché as it is, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Inspector, “If life’s a game made for everyone. Then love is the instruction.” Try it?

Inspector, am I afraid to love? Virgil Vivi, M Anime? I know I keep repeating myself, but “Love Is A Long Road” and “The Long Walk” for many weary souls.

And if anything, I’m afraid of how love. Again, I look to M Anime—my “ex-girlfriend,” Inspector Echo. Again, not negative, I’m only speaking the truth. The things I wanted to do to her. Indeed, to any woman I like. Oh, then there are my own kinks and fetishes too.

I do not FEAR success but power, as all wise men should. Every day, I see what I do with the bit of money I have. With enough money, 99 Problems vanish. What happens next?

Inspector, I could be living like my boys. But I heard once that satisfaction is the death of desire. And my desires? Many. Ten naked ladies like Hank Olson. Nothing is wrong, being me, for Halloween. Being Braxton Or Virgil

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1732 Days Without B III, Day 1173 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will