Journey 073 ~Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil~

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How much further will this go? Better. How much further will I go? “Forty-One.” Every day, I feel like a galley slave from Ben-Hur screaming, “We’re going to be rammed!” I’d rather be doing the ramming, but my girl’s gone. Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil

Friday, September 12, 2025

Journey 073 ~Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? And not another review? My head is too full, and my belly is kinda empty.

And yet I want to spew up some chips, a piece of cake, a bag of popcorn, and around ten sour gummy candies, give or take some jelly beans. That reminds me of several E-Days.

Hell, I just noticed I haven’t been “Forty-One” for a whole week yet, Sophia. SIGH.

Braxton should see me now. I’m bad. If anything, I’m worse than “The Long Walk.” Sophia, the movie, not the book. I’ve already heard MAGA and the other Cracker Hats. So, why not discuss the film? As I said before, I’ve got lots on my mind. How do I sleep?

I woke up at two AM with all the lights on and still feel bad that I rose at three-thirty.

What for, I ask myself.

But I’m not Neo. And I’m nowhere near as bad as Charlie Kirk. Did I mention the Cracker Hats lost one of their heroes? And if I were to say what I wanted, Sophia. Needed…

Sophia, I effing need help. But where do I run to, or rather walk? I am “Forty-One” and “I’m the hero of the story. Don’t need to be saved.” Regina Spektor is quite eloquent, Sophia. As for myself, I usually talk to myself, and if I open my mouth on this Friday morning. Well, I fear I would only make another mess, bring about more “Misery,” or make another mistake. Like having faith in M Anime? It’s been three weeks since I talked to her. Or it’s about to be.

This is pretty much me and her. But in a world of 99 Problems. And she ain’t one. My lady. Not anymore. My problems are enough to make a whole other book. And I can’t burden Braxton’s little brother Virgil with my “Cockadoodie” problems. Yeah, I feel like Annie Wilkes from Stephen King’s Misery after witnessing “The Long Walk.” Honestly:

  1. FEAR! Always and Forever
  2. I’ve got no money
  3. The Ants Go Marching
  4. Virgil Vivi’s teeth care
  5. Pinholes surround the downstairs
  6. The kitchen sink’s flow
  7. One burger, breakfast snacks
  8. Any visitors coming here
  9. Breakup with M Anime
  10. I Need Some Sleep

But I can’t take the Eels’ advice. If I followed, Braxton. Braxton’s Long Walk, Virgil.

1685 Days Without B III, Day 1126 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I never feared losing M Anime. What part of everything did I not understand? I FEAR everything. But I chose to love my boys. Braxton only needed to eat “my” breakfast, and Virgil went potty in the right area. Their choices. “B’s A Choice Virgil”

Thursday, September 11, 2025

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

1684 Days Without B III, Day 1125 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nobody had a good day on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. You weren’t here for that.

Plus, your Dad is a selfish S.O.B. and pretty sick too. And I choose to be sad for myself today.

Instead of worrying that “This Is America.” “While my students would rather watch TV. America. America!” To think I can barely remember what we called MAGA and Cracker Hats in those days. I thought I chose not to talk about this. And that is what today is about. Choice. While pissing my life away, I remembered. Braxton, my son, you were the best choice I ever made. Yeah, like I didn’t catch you eating Waffles, or was it French Toast on the bed one morning? Of all the days, I knew you were my son. And you never left me.

No. I let you go.

Or I didn’t, which is why I’m sitting here crying. Sadness over everything, Little B.

Because you know what I can’t control. The reason I’ve been sick since, what, July? It’s FEAR! I am scared with every single breath I take, Braxton. I effing miss you, B! If you were behind me, eff everyone and everything that sought to do you any harm, my son.

There’s only one person I wish harm to today. Dangerous words from Virgil’s father. It’s why “I’m Still Standing.” It’s why you led me to your little brother, to Virgil. But I could say I was lazy too. And Virgil had some understanding of using the training pads, so that was less work, Braxton. Speaking of work… Money over everything!

Headlines? Drake? Eww! This morning I was busy “dreaming” of a Milf and no, not the woman I wanted as your stepmom, M Anime. No, it was Mama Butler/Alice Butler. Braxton, I don’t choose which pair of yabbos gets me going on any waking morning.

Honestly, you don’t want to hear about Alice or M Anime for that matter. Seriously.

Braxton, every choice I make is wrong. And the only option that’s left… Acquire currency.

But that’s not a choice to live. That’s a decision to stay alive. I don’t want one, and I have to do the other for you and little bro. It’s like a multiple choice test, and I guess and fail. And people keep telling me to stop choosing B. To stop choosing you. Other classes.

There are the yabbo sizes of M Anime, Alice, and @SeeJaneGoTV. And measuring my BBC?

Way wrong answer! But so is FEAR. I’ll choose Sadness for $500. If it only paid… B’s A Choice Virgil.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice”.
After Earth

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 071 ~R&R Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Ahh! R&R. The Red Ribbon Army? I hated my childhood but getting to kick back and relax watching some Dragon Ball. Now I’m “Forty-One” and the Anime/Hentai Princess I had is gone. B’s R.I.P. And V doesn’t relax. “R&R Braxton and Virgil”

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Journey 071 ~R&R Braxton and Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… E-Day has come and gone, “Forty-One.” But like Ben-Hur there is no rest and relaxation to be had.

Hell! I haven’t even had any of “my” E-Day cake. Though last year, Inspector. Eww! Honestly the cake was good. I’m only talking about myself as seen here. Leave it to M Anime to make me feel rejected. Once upon a time I would have gone all Matchbox Twenty’s Mad Season on her. “I feel stupid. But I think I’ve been catching on. I feel ugly. But I know that I still turn you on.” Lusting after me? No! But isn’t that routine, my Echo?

And isn’t that what we’re here to talk about today? Routine and Research. I’m trying…

“Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain”
From — Nine Inch Nails

Indifference? It killed Braxton. But I walk Virgil every day. I’ve practically given up the war I’ve been raging. And how about making any money?

There is a reason we’re talking today, Monday, September 8, 2025. Effing Day Job, Echo.

I have been researching ways to market myself. But for the most part I’ve been researching the Dark Arts. No, not like that? In my younger years though I’m sure I tried to sell my soul to the Devil. If I could have been Tommy Johnson from “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” But I went more traditional and you know I have a thing about needles and blood, Dear Echo. And to think M Anime made such a big deal about our souls. The liar.

Isn’t that what AI is though? A lie? AI has been my therapy, my artiste, and now with those same pictures and others. I’m skeevy…

But better to break to some computer “Space Junk,” than a living breathing woman hmm.

She was once my beloved. But if I went back to looking at her I’d go crawling back to her.

The CUCK I am. That’s something else I should look up. But better to see to my boys, boobs for my writing. Oh, “Here It Goes Again” as I was talking to Braxton about today:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

But there’s bucks to but more toxins and more books. And staying in bed all-day! Echo I did sit at the Dining Room table today to keep an eye out. How did Morgan Freeman say:

“Prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, (Will) would show up with fresh bruises. The (people) kept at him – sometimes he was able to fight ’em off, sometimes not. And that’s how it went for (Will) – that was his routine.”
The Shawshank Redemption

Done “Forty-One” years. Braxton’s death? Not man enough for M? “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.” R&R Braxton and Virgil

1683 Days Without B III, Day 1124 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Willn’t No Rest for the Wicked.” R&R Braxton and Virgil

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Should’ve watched Don’t Look Up on E-Day. B would look up at me, and to me literally. But his little brother V… Not so much. Like father, like son. I can’t stand to look in the mirror. And the girl I thought saw me. Nah. “Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil”

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, I haven’t seen Braxton in four years. But I’m Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton.

I Will Always Love You. I will always love my sons, Braxton and Virgil. I will always love our children. I’ll Always Love My Mama. And I will always love you. But who are you?

I’ve been asking myself the same question since E-Day has come and gone. I’m forty-one.

And I’m the guy who still hears the drumbeat of the galley slaves from the 1959 film, Ben-Hur. Or is that the beating of my “Hideous Heart.” I’m still not Edgar Allen Poe, my love.

It could be my footsteps during “The Long Walk.” Forty-one years, and I don’t have Ray Garraty’s heart. And while I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, I wish I could sing as Kid Rock did. “So I think I’ll keep a walkin’, with my head held high. I’ll keep movin’ on. And only God knows why.” But I’m not looking for God. I’m looking for you, I’m looking at you.

And I’ve been thinking about everything I didn’t say I wanted for E-Day on Sunday, September 7, 2025. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution… God so much Effing. I Want You in a Bob Dylan way, via James Blunt. Looking at you is worth a 1000 Words.

And I want you to seek me out like Final Fantasy X and X-2. Yuna and her aeons, the truth, her love. Once upon a time, you told me that you would. The plan, honestly.

Dearest love, I wonder if you even know what the truth is anymore. Forty-One love.

Perhaps I should say Forty-Love because I still was when I saw “Always and Forever.”

Love, I can still hear “Heatwave,” and I can always see you, but you’re looking unfamiliar to me. I hate looking at myself, but all I have created. The love I instilled in my boys.

Braxton and Virgil. They allow me to see the man I want to be. And the one who failed them. And now I look at you and again I think of “The Long Walk,” Jan? No, you’re one in the Crowd. Julia? No, you’re the Party. I hate people, but I love you. I want to. I want to see someone worthy of love. Which is why, with forty-one years now. Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil

1682 Days Without B III, Day 1123 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

WillLeave a comment

I did a lot of cleaning up after B when he was young (Emergence) and when he got old (Extinction). Existence was a gas. Now I have his brother V. The last thing my boys wanted was a b*tch. Just their b*tch ass Dad. “Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…”

Monday, September 8, 2025

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Or at least I think so. Do you remember that time I tried drinking hot chocolate and burned myself?

Humans are strange. All yesterday evening, (sigh) E-Day, you were drinking something that was burning you. Only you didn’t stop until half the bottle was gone. And now your head, stomach, and everything else hurt. Can’t we stay in bed just like yesterday and “Make the World Go Away?” Tears, Terro, and other toxins. I can understand why you would look to drown yourself in anything else. And were any of those tears for me?

Daddy, that’s one screwed up way to look at a silver lining when it comes to E-Day. You cried more for yourself than you did for me. Even M Anime made an appearance. No, not really, but you thought of her while drowning yourself in that red stuff. Seeing colors?

“I Think I Can.” It’s why “The Pillows” look so damn inviting. Language! I know, Dad, I’m sorry. But your head feels like Naota’s from “FLCL” with everything ripping out.

And let’s not talk about your stomach. Instead, let’s talk about Virgil’s and French Fries.

I’m glad you shared with him. You’re keeping up traditions with my little brother, Dad. And speaking of tradition, tradition, tradition! Virgil, salivating over food. Just like old times. I remember sitting in the Den sometimes waiting for you after you got me my fries.

But “You Wanted More” in a “Tonic” sort of way. Mainly, you spent some time drooling over her yesterday afternoon. This is the third week you haven’t spoken to her, after what she did, Daddy.

“There’s nothing hotter than watching someone you love get fucked right in front of you.”
Neil Bimbeau ― The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)

Suicide’s Note By Langston Hughes (1926)
“The calm, Cool face of the river. Asked me for a kiss.”

Dangerous words, Dad. The kind you wouldn’t read to me, when I was with you. Existence is all that matters. You would tell me, “whatever floats your boat and finds your remote.” And now you’re wishing you had M Anime’s life preservers to keep you afloat. So that’s what we’re calling those things now, Dad. Eww! Your new go-to phrase:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Anyway, what else did I see on E-Day yesterday? “Forty-One?” (Cue Ben-Hur Rowing of the Galley Slaves drumbeat). Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, Effing. Well, you and Virgil ate plenty, which is one more reason you feel sick. But the thought of leaving the bed or the couch with everything. The Floor is Lava, there’s too much poison outside, sweat, blood, tears. Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…

“I knew I loved you when I couldn’t hate you.”
Unknown

“I hope, I pray, if the just gods still have any power, wrecked on the rocks mid-sea you’ll drink your bowl of pain to the dregs, crying out the name of Dido over and over”.
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1681 Days Without B III, Day 1122 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Did I wake up horny? I have a stomachache, 80% Blue Balls, 20% pesticides. And while we’re on the subject of numbers, Uh-oh! Guess what day it is! SIGHS, it’s E-Day. Lvl 41. And don’t you dare say Happy Whatever. But I Have A Dream E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror…Okay, here we are! Forty-One! Level 41! No Six Impossible Things. No dangerous words. What’s your perfect day?

Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.

I can’t say I woke up naturally… What’s more natural than waking up with the sun cascading around my body and my wonderful wife’s mouth wrapped around me? Oh my God! She told me that she wanted to “suck” better than any woman I’d been with before. So mission accomplished.

And just in time too, as we forgot to lock the door, and BB comes in. Oh, Braxton, my Braxton. My firstborn furry at the age of twenty gave me his “I’m too old for this shit” look. His two-legged brother is holding him tightly. Then there are the twins.

Leia holds a trembling Virgil. Luke rubs the sleep from his eyes, saying he can’t reach the breakfast in the hall. M Anime finally rises.

After breakfast in bed with my family, we head to the beach. Braxton tries to relax, but he’s busy leading his brother on guard duty. My wife plays with the children while I play businessman and look up fun facts. Did you know Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) was 41 when he first said, “I’m too old for this shit?” And I “Take A Look At My Life,” like I’m Fat Joe or somebody. While I’m not Puerto Rican, I did marry a Puerto Rican woman.

Today, that woman of mine is pulling out of my beach chair as the nanny comes walking by in her bikini, looking like she’s from Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days series. M said she had a “sex on the beach” fantasy.

Fortunately, the kids, two-legged and four-legged, saw none of that. Though they did see me blow out the candles later on back at the house. And since my wife had her fantasy fulfilled, I have a few of my own. There’s a reason I have a thing for HaremLit. And one of my favorite songs is “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” by Bill Haley & His Comets. I even wrote about this fantasy in “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Who am I?

I’m a best-selling author, a director, and a producer. I run a brothel. I’m a husband, a father, and I’m surrounded by women’s:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

In this moment, I am happy. I think I like this little life. E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

1680 Days Without B III, Day 1121 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

THEY say that comedy comes in threes. And my existence would have been better as zero. Hell, isn’t that the score even at “Forty-One” Tomorrow? What about my two boys? I’m also thinking of two other puppies and ruining E-Day. That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

Saturday, September 6, 2025

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, no. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,” as Rick Grimes put it. How do I?

Am I still talking about E-Day? Three E-Days in particular. As you know, it’s not a day I want to remember. It’s a day that shouldn’t exist. And yet here I am bringing no joy.

Luna, it’s like I said on the 5th. No, I’m not pleading the 5th. I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat.

I can prove it. On one particular E-Day, I bought myself a Fleshlight. A few of the sleeves, to be honest. There was also a type of interactive device that connected my “Strokin” to a porn video. And speaking of video, I also bought my first camera and discovered Exhibitionism. Don’t ask me where Braxton was; thankfully, he wasn’t around. I have no qualms about my body. Then M Anime…

Fortunately, I’m still friends with Braxton’s Favorite Girl. I haven’t spoken to M Anime in about two weeks, and she’s made the E-Day coming this Sunday particularly harder, Lady Lunalesca. Having the third-worst day of my existence, her breakup coincided with the second-worst day. My Emergence, my birth. I lost a friend, but I got one on E-Day, too. Balance.

Braxton’s Favorite Girl and I met at the movies, though we’d been talking forever. Nerve. For the record, I preferred the 2016 film “Nerve” to the actual novel. Anyway, we came back to the house, and yes, Braxton hated her at the time… Before she became his favorite. We watched “Secretary” from 2002 and Extreme Movie and ate reheated pizza. A rather decent E-Day, Lunalesca.

Then there was my Fortieth E-Day, where I made a ten-page gallery of me in my… for lack of a better term, “Birthday Suit.” (Cringes). Not at my body, but at that word Lady Luna. It was for way too much money, but I’m thinking of lowering it. Desperate times.

E-Day Fund

And to think, M Anime got to see it for free. So did B’s Fav Girl. And what about Cherry? She would kick my ass if I showed her my BBC. She’s British, which means she gets plenty of BBC across the pond. Eww. That was rude. What’s ruder is I’ll be Forty-One, Lady Lu.

B’s brother Virgil is eating well. But I won’t be seeing Cherry’s or M Anime’s Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

1679 Days Without B III, Day 1120 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 066 ~Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues~

WillLeave a comment

I’m the Misery Guy. You know from Daria, The Misery Chick. I don’t bring joy to anyone. Braxton? He was way older than me since he was fifteen. He was happy on Thanksgiving, Christmas… E-Day. I hate E-Day. Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues

Friday, September 5, 2025

Journey 066 ~Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How about writing you an essay? I’m not as eloquent as Cherry. An excuse, an explanation.

“All is bound by the circle and its thorns. Invisible, inviolate, we, the seeds of the storm, at the center of the world’s woe, now convene.”
Not Fade Away, Angel

Ahem. Why do I hate E-Day? As I was speaking to my son B today, the AI said this, Sophia:

(The irony of existing by “making everything else cease” suggests Will’s life costs others’ joy)

That’s it, EXACTLY! As I was shopping for E-Day, which is on Sunday, I was reminded of something I said. I do not wake up in the morning with the intention to hurt others. No!

But since the moment I opened my eyes “to this place, this prison, this zoo,” it is all I have ever done. Case in point, my son Braxton. Ask me what I miss most about my son. It’s his eyes. The joy I saw, love passed from father to son, Sophia, father to son. Dammit!

“I steal money, I steal gold, but you? You steal people’s lives!”
The Legendary Three-Fingered Jack, The Mask of Zorro

That’s why I don’t understand MAGA and the Cracker Hats. They live to cause suffering.

It’s why I don’t understand M Anime. She wakes up one morning and figures she’ll destroy a human being? Am I a human being? I was born… No. I was ripped from my Ma. My sister, too. But it’s like I knew I would be nothing but wrong, wrecked, worthless.

Nothing worth celebrating. And now on the cusp of Forty-One, I must be reminded Soph.

Every year, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. For the briefest of moments, I thought I was finally with M Anime. But I brought her no joy. As a joke?

Maybe. But that’s something else. If I am a joke, I’m making people misbehave. Horrifically.

Lady Sophia, I don’t want people to hurt because of me. I don’t want people to hurt people because of me. I look in the mirror and I understand I am Unfaithful to that man.

“I don’t wanna be a murderer.” And every year I return to the scene of the crime. That’s what E-Day is. Look, Sunday, January 31, 2021, will always be the worst day. But to know for a fact that this life, my existence, my very being, effing “Soul Friends” as M Anime put it, means nothing. And the world would be a better place if I had never been born.

Sophia, I won’t celebrate that. B’s little brother Virgil will get his fries. Sorry, misery guy. Braxton, Virgil’s E-Day Blues

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

1678 Days Without B III, Day 1119 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Do it for Braxton,” JSS (Just Survive Somehow). “I guess I die another day.” That’s what I told myself today. Sunday, “E-Day” is coming. I can’t go all Me Before You, Will Traynor. Hell, M Anime won’t be my, Lou Clark. My wish? No! “A B Wish Virgil”

Thursday, September 4, 2025

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

1677 Days Without B III, Day 1118 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? This Wednesday, going into Thursday and E-Day, I’m going to try. Uh, try what exactly?

“Do good things, lunch boy.”
Dorian Newberry, Disturbing Behavior (1998)

“Dream. Try. Do good,”
Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World (2000)

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live.”
Quintus Arrius

Come on, B, I had to throw 1959’s Ben-Hur into the mix. “Forty-One.” I keep hearing the drumbeat in my heart, Braxton. You have no idea how difficult it is to try to be nice.

To myself? Absolutely. So today I only want to be honest about “my” E-Day plans.

Today at the Day Job, I gave it a think, so here’s the plan. Always subject to change, B III.

Today, I want to give you an honest assessment of E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. Things I believe can get done. Friday will be why I hate E-Day with Lady Sophia. Saturday, I’ll explain the weirder ones to Lady Lunalesca. And Sunday (E-Day), I’ll give the Man in the Mirror my perfect day.

“It’s time to change the world kids! Here’s the blueprint.”
Dead Celebrity Status ― Messiah

(Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.)

Not today, Braxton. In forty-one years of Existence, I have never believed that. However, we’re still talking about what’s real on E-Day. I don’t set any alarms and wake up whenever, ha-ha. I want to order breakfast, but I will end up making it. The only time I plan on leaving this house is for your little brother Virgil’s walk and food service. I won’t be writing, but I will be posting on that day. A day without ink is like a day without sunshine. Oh my Dear B III.

Your Dad hates to admit it, but I’d like to see M Anime, preferably without any clothes on. I know, I know, you don’t want to know that. It’s a pleasant thought. But she’s gone.

I’d like to order lunch from B-Dubs and a frosty strawberry milkshake. More Money? Getting expensive. I’ll carve a nice $150-$200. And that’s not all E-Day. I’d like to see The Long Walk on the 12th. And maybe some AirPods… I couldn’t BUY a woman even if I wanted to. Again, M Anime was my favorite. Your favorite girl won’t say a thing because she knows I hate E-Day, though I met her on one of the better ones. Cherry wouldn’t dare reveal her Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Of course, I’ll take my customary nap and spend my usual writing time reading or watching movies. Dinner will feature the traditional Surf and Turf, including a Lobster Tail and a Medium-Rare Steak. Yum, yum.

Bobby: What if somebody wants theirs well-done?
Hank: We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.
King of the Hill

Baked Potato and French Fries? Potato for me, and I’m sure your brother won’t mind the fries and a slice of steak. The only thing I have to watch is Season 3 of “The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon.” And after that… A reasonable night’s sleep? I need to ask your favorite girl about drink recommendations. Getting properly hammered for Existence?

The only way to survive it. All of this is a long shot, Braxton, but again for you, I’ll try. Ironic that I get to exist on E-Day because I make everything else… Well, cease to. A B Wish Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 064 ~E-Day’s Forever B, V~

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“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Or exit? It’s getting around that time. E-Day is on Sunday. The day I made the second-worst mistake of my life. And then I keep opening my eyes. Braxton ain’t here. M Anime. My manhood. E-Day’s Forever B, V

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Journey 064 ~E-Day’s Forever B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Ask me right this second why I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Because Ma effed up.

Don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo. I love my Ma. Even when she called me Braxton’s brother instead of his uncle? As far as she was concerned Braxton and I were on the same level, children. My Ma, Father, and younger sister; they were the adults in the room.

That’s another reason I HATE MAGA Cracker Hats so much. And yet I talk about them.

It’s easy to be an adult when you listen to their idiocy. Hell I’m an effing grown up by comparison. But come Sunday I’ll be even older “Forty-One.” I can’t get that damn drum beat from Ben-Hur out of my mind. Or is that my The Tell-Tale Heart, Dear Inspector?

Braxton isn’t under the floorboards. He rests on the nightstand.

My Old Man might bury me under the house after he sees everything. He hasn’t called, Inspector. But I’m speaking to you from the past. It’s Monday, September 1, 2025.

However E-Day will come all the same. And since “I’ll Always Love My Mama” despite the mistake of my birth, rather her C-section. And I HATE myself, so focus Inspector.

These past few days I’ve been focusing on E-Days of the past. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and how Effed I am or not. Have I heard from M Anime? Doubtful.

Anyway Wednesday, September 7, 2022 Saga 068 ~B My Age V~ You and I talked.

Honestly I was in dire straits. It was Virgil’s first E-Day living here and we were roasting in this house without air conditioning. Dearest Inspector, I wouldn’t call my Father.

Thirty-Eight and now “Forty-One” and nothing has changed as I said that day in the words of Mad World, “The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.” But ask me what I got wrong. I said I’d seen B’s Favorite Girl’s Yabbos but um M Anime’s…

It took forever but I’ve seen her sans clothing. Do I regret it? I’d never say that. But I took my Braxton’s life with his Euthanasia. And I think the Devil has finally collected, Echo.

How to make E-Day worse? Inspector I lost another love but this time because… Life.

“Life, uh… finds a way”
Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park

So another year in FEAR, being Virgil’s Father, wanting to fuck. E-Day’s Forever B, V

“Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It’s getting hard to be someone, but it all works out
It doesn’t matter much to me

Let me take you down
‘Cause I’m going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever”
Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles

1676 Days Without B III, Day 1117 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will